http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:OrangeSquishii&section=today deviantART RSS for by:OrangeSquishii en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Thu, 10 Dec 2009 16:27:07 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://OrangeSquishii.deviantart.com/journal/27674277/ http://OrangeSquishii.deviantart.com/journal/27674277/ Fri, 09 Oct 2009 18:37:01 PDT This account will always be a reminder and a remainder of my past, I suppose.
I almost miss how I used to be, sans the awkward obsessing and random depressing moods.

:devxhappienssfailure:

]]> ~OrangeSquishii http://OrangeSquishii.deviantart.com/journal/18627591/ http://OrangeSquishii.deviantart.com/journal/18627591/ Fri, 22 Aug 2008 21:04:21 PDT
So I've moved on.
Find me.
Talk to me.
let'sbefriends.


~xHappinessFailure

]]> ~OrangeSquishii http://OrangeSquishii.deviantart.com/journal/18602271/ http://OrangeSquishii.deviantart.com/journal/18602271/ Sun, 01 Jun 2008 00:08:43 PDT
I'm so fucking happy.
I feel so free.
I know I've been saying this alot lately, but really, it's true.

But I'm tired of how immature people are being lately, ohwell.
I guess that's how it is.

I've been listening to a ton of really awesome music lately.
Metro Station, Three Days Grace, My Chemical Romance.
Good bands.
New favourites.
I've been a bit uneasy about The Used ever since I saw a music video for one of their songs and Bert threw up on the audience.
Ewww

I went to a Bat Mitzvah party tonight, it was pretty epic.
I miss those things. Nobody ever seems to have crazy parties anymore.
Not like those...
Where the music is loud, everyone's dancing, and it's just so much fun.
Yea, I miss those.

On another note, I hate people who are stereotypical.
Really.
I wore fishnet gloves to the party, and I have all these preps from the Hebrew School bitching me out, calling me the Emo Goth and other shit.
Seriously.
Get the fuck over yourself.
That above sentence can be said for a lot of things, lately.

But I'm trying not to worry.
I'm trying to not care.
And it's working.
I don't need that anymore.
I don't need that.
I'm free;
I can do whatever I want.
and you can't stop me
.

]]> ~OrangeSquishii http://OrangeSquishii.deviantart.com/journal/18578431/ http://OrangeSquishii.deviantart.com/journal/18578431/ Fri, 30 May 2008 14:37:54 PDT
Despite alot of things,
I feel really happy.
And like a great big load has been lifted off my chest,
like I'm finally free.

I can't help but to think that something is missing,
but oh well.
I'm sure in the long run I don't need them anyway(:

Can't wait for next yearrr.
Can't wait for the summerrrr.
Just can't waittttt.
<333333
!

]]> ~OrangeSquishii http://OrangeSquishii.deviantart.com/journal/18561915/ http://OrangeSquishii.deviantart.com/journal/18561915/ Thu, 29 May 2008 14:53:22 PDT I feel like I was betrayed.
I feel like I'm being talked about behind my back.
I feel like I'm to blame for everything that's going on.
I wish I could go back in time.
I wish I was a year older.
I wish I had a unique talent other than drawing, which isn't unique since this year.
I wish I could stand out, and be noticed by those who I wish to notice me.
I wish I knew who I was, because I don't know who I am anymore.
I feel like I'm always trying to be somebody I'm not.
I feel like I do what I do to be liked.
I wish I could come up with something to say when I talk to people.
I wish I wasn't so socially awkward, and have to try to joke around. I think when I do that, I'm not funny and make other people feel awkward.
I wish I didn't eat so much, even though I seem to not get fat.
I wish was a better student.
I wish I didn't fight with my mother so much.
I feel like I'm not worth anything to my friends.
I feel like I can't trust anybody.
I feel like I'm unimportant, that I don't matter and I'm looked down upon(no pun intended). Almost like. . .my feelings don't matter. That I'm insignificant.

I don't like this.
Not.
One.
Little.
Bit.

]]> ~OrangeSquishii http://OrangeSquishii.deviantart.com/journal/18534330/ http://OrangeSquishii.deviantart.com/journal/18534330/ Tue, 27 May 2008 20:22:58 PDT
i dunno what
but something
is wrong.


i'm gunna draw, then go to bed.
i'm dead tired.
-dies-

]]> ~OrangeSquishii http://OrangeSquishii.deviantart.com/journal/18517604/ http://OrangeSquishii.deviantart.com/journal/18517604/ Mon, 26 May 2008 20:04:36 PDT
Yessu.
Happy Rayla.

Very.
Very.
Happy.
Why?

...I would have to kill you.

Uh, well, I can say that I have wireless internet back.
Hehe.

BUT NO MORE
!

]]> ~OrangeSquishii http://OrangeSquishii.deviantart.com/journal/18498888/ http://OrangeSquishii.deviantart.com/journal/18498888/ Sun, 25 May 2008 17:48:34 PDT
I had a good weekend :3
I held a chicken! o_o
He was fluffy :3
Ahaha~
I'm a bottomless pit, lulz.
Life is miiiiighty fine right now.
Still cannot WAIT for next year.
Can't.
Wait.
-dances-


Mmm..
I have some poems I wanna put up later.
But I'm not supposed to be online, so yea.
Today or possibly tomorrow.
Tomorrow I think I'm going to the campground so I probably wont go online...
Uh, so yea.
I'm gunna get off now.

ADJOURNED.

]]> ~OrangeSquishii http://OrangeSquishii.deviantart.com/journal/18477123/ http://OrangeSquishii.deviantart.com/journal/18477123/ Sat, 24 May 2008 10:09:42 PDT It's just there,
unstoppable.


ahaha~
i'm oh so very happy
good things are ahead
good good things
i can feel it!
no matter what's going on right now,
it's all gunna get better
i'm just so happy, because i know.
i can't wait for next year.
can't WAIT.
it's going to be amazing.
especially because...
well, you don't need to know that ;D
BUT MAGIC THINGS SHALL HAPPEN
AMAZING THINGS, EVEN.

x3
Later I'm going to Kirsten's with Sarah, we're having a slumber party~!
And tomorrow we're going to the parade and throwing candy back at the marchers who throw it at us :3
Wheee!
So happy!
-dances-
-leaves-

;D

]]> ~OrangeSquishii http://OrangeSquishii.deviantart.com/journal/18470209/ http://OrangeSquishii.deviantart.com/journal/18470209/ Fri, 23 May 2008 20:51:57 PDT
I've been listening to a lot of MCR lately.
I dunno.
It makes me feel happy.
Gerard and the guys are the only men in my life.
I don't really care as much about anyone else.
Honestly, I don't.
Eh, except for maybe Stephen. But sometimes I'm not sure WHAT gender he is.
I luff him anyway xD
-sigh-

I can't want for tomorrow.

]]> ~OrangeSquishii http://OrangeSquishii.deviantart.com/journal/18448040/ http://OrangeSquishii.deviantart.com/journal/18448040/ Thu, 22 May 2008 13:46:11 PDT It describes my life, sometimes.

"Some say, now suffer all the children
And walk away a savior,
Or a madman and polluted
From gutter institutions.
Don´t you breathe for me,
Undeserving of your sympathy,
Cause there ain´t no way that I´m sorry for what I did.

And through it all
How could you cry for me?
Cause I don´t feel bad about it.
So shut your eyes,
Kiss me goodbye,
And sleep.
Just sleep.

The hardest part is letting go of
Your dreams.

A drink for the horror that I´m in,
For the good guys, and the bad guys,
For the monsters that I´ve been.
Three cheers for tyranny,
Unapologetic apathy,
Cause there ain´t no way that I´m coming back again.

And through it all
How could you cry for me?
Cause I don´t feel bad about it.
So shut your eyes,
Kiss me goodbye,
And sleep.
Just sleep.

The hardest part
is awful things that I´ve seen. "

]]> ~OrangeSquishii http://OrangeSquishii.deviantart.com/journal/18418994/ http://OrangeSquishii.deviantart.com/journal/18418994/ Tue, 20 May 2008 16:53:07 PDT
For some unexplainable reason
I am insanely happy.
I don't know why.
Because I should be not so happy.
Why?
Stupid father, that's why.
No more info needed.

But I'm insanely happy.
Like, WOW. Happy.

Life looks to be taking a turn for the better.
Life is looking up.


Haircut this weekend.
Mall, maybe?
Plans?
Yes?
AIM me.

]]> ~OrangeSquishii http://OrangeSquishii.deviantart.com/journal/18387576/ http://OrangeSquishii.deviantart.com/journal/18387576/ Sun, 18 May 2008 17:49:06 PDT I don't lime your girlfriend
or her kids.
I don't like how you treat me like
I'm the devil child,
and just don't mean anything.
I'm tired of the way you're mean to me
just to show off.
I'm tired of you.
I don't like you.
I don't love you.
You don't deserve
to be a father.


I'm sitting at the bottom of my driveway once again,
with a low wireless signal.
My "father" took the wireless box.
His car has broken down.
He had been using his girlfriend's.
The wireless box is at her house.
Or claimed to be.
He's at his house.
With no car.
She's at her house.
Not wanting to drive back out, I bet.
And she has the box.
Apparently.

I'm way past being sad.
I'm upset.
Annoyed.
And a bit repulsed.

I have no shoes on.
I am wearing capris.
It's getting dark.
I'm wearing a short sleeve shirt.
It's cold.
I think it's drizzling.

]]> ~OrangeSquishii http://OrangeSquishii.deviantart.com/journal/18351959/ http://OrangeSquishii.deviantart.com/journal/18351959/ Fri, 16 May 2008 13:16:36 PDT I need to stop watching TV.
It makes me realize that life isn't perfect.
That dreams never come true.
That nothing is meant to be.
Not in real life,
Oh no,
just up on the screen
where magic happens.

]]> ~OrangeSquishii http://OrangeSquishii.deviantart.com/journal/18340192/ http://OrangeSquishii.deviantart.com/journal/18340192/ Thu, 15 May 2008 17:07:58 PDT
I'm so small.
I tend to feel extremely unprotected.
I don't feel self-concious.
I don't really care about being skinny.
I don't put on make up in the morning.
I rarely do something with my hair.
I wear what I like to wear.
Am I still pretty?

I want someone who
will just hold me.
Who will just hug me,
and never let go.
Who will look at me
square in the eyes and say
"You're amazing."
and mean it.

]]> ~OrangeSquishii http://OrangeSquishii.deviantart.com/journal/18326941/ http://OrangeSquishii.deviantart.com/journal/18326941/ Wed, 14 May 2008 19:32:59 PDT
I feel amazing right now.
like

...
just amazing.

i'm happy.
i'm really happy.
why?

oh, you'll find out.
eventually.
[:

...well.
or not.
it depends on what happens, really.


Uhh.
What else?
Oh.
The best person on the planet right now
is Josh. For saying that stuff about Morgan.

But the best person in the Universe,
is the King of all Cosmos.

Sorry Josh. Only second best in the universe for you.
Become a creepy guy who abuses katamari cousins for not rolling up
balls of shit
and maybe
just maybe
you'll be number one.


...or not.

]]> ~OrangeSquishii http://OrangeSquishii.deviantart.com/journal/18304362/ http://OrangeSquishii.deviantart.com/journal/18304362/ Tue, 13 May 2008 12:18:00 PDT I was with ____.
We were on a bus.
We spent the whole time together...
To wherever we were going, and then the whole ride back.
I forget where we went.
At one point, ____ kept saying to me "____ __. ____ ____ __."
But I couldn't.

I only trust one person with what the blanks were.
And she isn't online right now T^T

]]> ~OrangeSquishii http://OrangeSquishii.deviantart.com/journal/18296500/ http://OrangeSquishii.deviantart.com/journal/18296500/ Mon, 12 May 2008 20:23:17 PDT
I don't like Napoleon.

I don't like the fact that that happened.



x equals negative b plus or minus the square root of b squared minus four AC over two A.

Memorization is key.
And disgusting.

I don't give a damn that I've been fighting with my mom lately, I really don't.
It'll all be over in less than four more years.
Then I can go to college.
Move to England.
Never speak to her again.
Life will be good.

I'm kind of just angry right now.
It has nothing to do with my mother.
Just the fact that..
Well..
I'm not going to say it here.
Because.
Well.
Certain people..
I don't want seeing it.
Obviously.

]]> ~OrangeSquishii http://OrangeSquishii.deviantart.com/journal/18261541/ http://OrangeSquishii.deviantart.com/journal/18261541/ Sat, 10 May 2008 18:02:51 PDT

My door is fixed.


My headache got worse.
I just slept for almost three hours.
I feel horrible.
Like my heart is in my head, it's pulsing so hard.

]]> ~OrangeSquishii http://OrangeSquishii.deviantart.com/journal/18257250/ http://OrangeSquishii.deviantart.com/journal/18257250/ Sat, 10 May 2008 12:37:06 PDT

I don't fucking care anymore.
I really don't.
I don't want to put up with this anymore.
I shouldn't even have to.

All I want is to study in the comfort of my own room.
In my PJs.
Relaxed.

If something is lost because YOU put off using them for so long that they GOT lost, then goddamn I don't need to go with you to buy new ones. It's your own fucking fault.

"Car problems, radio stolen, foot hurt."

I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOUR STUPID PROBLEMS.
YOU'RE MY PROBLEM AND I DON'T GO ON AN ANGRY RAMPAGE MAKING MYSELF LOOK LIKE AN IDIOT TO GET RID OF YOU.

You think you understand me.
I know you do, to an extent.
But goddamn you need to fucking LEARN.
I'm a GIRL.
I don't like to go outside.
I don't like sports.
I don't like YOU.
YOU'RE the reason I want to kill myself.
I don't want to have to DEAL with YOU.
and your SHIT.

I'm sorry if anyone gets concerned about this.
Call me stupid.
Call me a wimp.
Call me anything else.
But I hate my life.
And sometimes my friends can't help,
because they don't know what I'm going through.
And I just can't tell them.



You bother me.
You really.
really.
bother me.


And you call yourself a father.
Getting a woman pregnant doesn't give you the right.
You have to actually act like one.
And being a father doesn't mean
"I'M IN CHARGE BECAUSE I SAID SO AND YOU CAN'T DO THIS AND I CAN TAKE THIS AWAY BECAUSE I CAN."
No.
It means you care about your child.
Caring does not include "I care about you because I want you to succeed in life."
No.
Wrong.
Very.
Wrong.
Caring is LOVING.
LOVE does not include purposely torturing somebody because you think that's what's best for them.
That is in fact the worst thing you can do.
Love, in my opinion, has to be mutual.
Like respect.
"Respect others and you'll earn some respect and trust back"
WHY.
WHY THE HELL.
WOULD I WANT TO
RESPECT SOMEONE
WHO DOESN'T RESPECT ME.
SOMEONE I KNOW WHO
IN THE END WON'T GIVE A FLYING PISS.
?

My head hurts.
I want to finish filling out my vocab cards.

]]> ~OrangeSquishii http://OrangeSquishii.deviantart.com/journal/18248540/ http://OrangeSquishii.deviantart.com/journal/18248540/ Fri, 09 May 2008 20:45:36 PDT
My dad's been reading my deviantart journal entries.
Curse me for showing him the damn site.

HI DAD I KNOW YOU'RE READING THIS.
I DON'T LIKE YOU.





I have a headache.
I should charge my iPod.
And my phone.
*lazy*
I should also get in my PJs, so I can go to bed.

I miss people.
Just being around people that actually understand me.
To an extent, anyway.

My eyes hurt.
My head hurts.
And, goddamn, my foot just started hurting.

-sneezes-


Today was fun.
All guys need to just shut up for once.
If someone tells you to stop,
It means you stop, goddamn.
Not stopping doesn't make you cool.
It makes you look like an immature asshole.



LOOK OUT HERE COMES ALBEL THE RAPIST
Mwah~<3

]]> ~OrangeSquishii http://OrangeSquishii.deviantart.com/journal/18224014/ http://OrangeSquishii.deviantart.com/journal/18224014/ Thu, 08 May 2008 09:04:51 PDT I stayed home today. (sorry to all my friends at school )

I was up till 2am writing my language arts essay on julius caesar.
And then this morning, I just wouldn't wake up.
I was dead O_O

When I did finally wake up it was 9:00 O:
I guess I needed the sleep, but today I was gonna take make up tests and a lot of stuff was due so I'm upset that I missed all that >.<

I found this quiz thingy in one of ~RenoxofxthexTurks's journals, so I decided to do this.
You just copy it and put x's in the brackets, and post it in a comment to this journal ^__^


Would you...
[] Come to my house to do nothing at all but chill?
[] Fight me?
[] kiss me?
[] Let me kiss you?
[] Watch a movie with me?
[] Go out to dinner with me?
[] Sing car karaoke with me?
[] Re-post this for me to answer your questions?
[] Hold my hand?
[] Let me make you breakfast?
[] Help me with homework?
[] Tickle me?
[] Let me tickle you?
[] Instant message me?
[] Greet me in public?
[] Hang out with me?
[] Bring me around your friends?
[] Be down with me no matter what?

Do you.....?
[] Think I'm cute?
[] Think I'm serious?
[] Think I'm a good person
[] Think I'm conceided?
[] Want to kiss me?
[] Want to cuddle with me?
[] Want to hook up with me?
[] Love me?

Am I.....?
[] Smart?
[] Cute?
[] Funny?
[] Cool?
[] Romantic?
[] A freak?
[] Gangsta?
[] Loveable?
[] Adorable?
[] Trustworthy
[] Compassionate?
[] Great to be with?
[] Attractive?
[] Mean?
[] Well known?

Have you ever...?
[] Wished I were there?
[] Had a crush on me?
[] Wanted my number?
[] Had a dream about me?
[] Been distracted by me?
[] Looked at my page more than ten times?

Are you....?
[] Happy you know me?
[] Thinking about me?
[] Going to repost?
[] Answering all of these honestly?

]]> ~OrangeSquishii http://OrangeSquishii.deviantart.com/journal/18212822/ http://OrangeSquishii.deviantart.com/journal/18212822/ Wed, 07 May 2008 14:16:31 PDT And they didn't hurt?
Seriously. I was expecting actual pain.
The best part?
I got shiny silver band aids out of it.
[Shh, I stole one.]

I'm happier than I've been, I think. Despite the massive amount of shit that's been going on in my life.


In other news;
My art teacher can suck my non existing dick.
Yea, I used to think she was okay.
And just really annoying.

I realize now that my dream career is to be the art teacher that she never was.
Yep.


Friday is artist in action thing at fawn hollow!
SO EXCITED.

Today was International Fake British Accent Day.
I kinda failed 8D

]]> ~OrangeSquishii http://OrangeSquishii.deviantart.com/journal/18201282/ http://OrangeSquishii.deviantart.com/journal/18201282/ Tue, 06 May 2008 18:06:20 PDT Only it does.
An everyone has mistakes, everyone has scars, no matter, if they’re mental or physical.
To tell you the truth, I don’t believe that anyone is weak, that anyone can truly, completely, not have the strength to give in to depression.
I’m suddenly all angry all the time…you know why? A helplessness to help others…and anger at myself…an anger at others…a feeling that I’m going straight back to square one.
I’m not saying this with any hint of irony, or sarcasm, or shyness at the fact that what I’m saying is probably so positive that at times, it will make me want to throw up…
What I say is that every goddamn person has the strength inside of them to stand up to depression, to whatever it is that’s bringing them down….and that drive, that force, that fire…is what you’ve got to find.
I’m not saying I’m all knowing. Goddamn it, you know I’m not. But I’ll say what I see…apparently I’m young enough to be able to say stuff like this without being pessimistic or taken lightly…(well, let’s hope I don’t grow old) but what you’ve got to do, is find that force. And regardless of what happens, of what life throws at you, no matter how hard, that force will drive you and give you enough hope, enough faith, enough self belief that you will be able to over come anything, that you become confident to point of almost ridicule...of scaring others. That’s self-believe and drive.
Where you find it? Goddamn it, I don’t know. To me it’s music, those I love...to you, it could be anything. Your boyfriend, your relative, your love of food and your aspirations to become a chef, your desire to prove yourself….something you want so much, that you realize that throwing your life away on suicide is crap, it’s bull, you’re life’s too short to throw away.
Imagine this….you’re dead. You are buried. Your family and friends are crying.
You never got to live.
No one deserves that. Every single person deserves to live their life to the fullest.
And to those idiots who disagree- love is what drives us. No matter who it’s aimed at. It exists. So don’t you give me no bull on it not being there…you may have had bad experiences with it. But that doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist.

So next time you want to forget. Next time you aim for the drugs, for the pills, for the alcohol, for the cuts…think of this if you can.
I’m not saying it’ll help.
I’m saying find what drives you. Find what’ll keep you alive. Find what you live for.

I’ll be very sorry f you waste your life away on self-destruction, depression and suicidal thoughts.

So...
Start searching.
Just Think Happy Thoughts.

]]> ~OrangeSquishii http://OrangeSquishii.deviantart.com/journal/18186970/ http://OrangeSquishii.deviantart.com/journal/18186970/ Mon, 05 May 2008 19:17:07 PDT
Just wow.

]]> ~OrangeSquishii http://OrangeSquishii.deviantart.com/journal/18171792/ http://OrangeSquishii.deviantart.com/journal/18171792/ Sun, 04 May 2008 20:32:06 PDT

It didn't get better..?
Why...?
I thought...



]]> ~OrangeSquishii http://OrangeSquishii.deviantart.com/journal/18161154/ http://OrangeSquishii.deviantart.com/journal/18161154/ Sun, 04 May 2008 08:33:55 PDT

I am not happy.


I can't take this anymore.


It's too much.


It needs to stop.


I need to stop.


Stop living.

]]> ~OrangeSquishii http://OrangeSquishii.deviantart.com/journal/18100658/ http://OrangeSquishii.deviantart.com/journal/18100658/ Wed, 30 Apr 2008 18:02:28 PDT
I feel so lonely.
So..empty.
I want them back D:

Stupid Josh forgot his pokemon game.
And since Britt restarted hers, I don't have her friend code.
And I didn't have the chance to get Kirsten's yet.
Britt won't answer her phone.
Kirsten's has died.
And I don't know Josh's grandfather's cell number.
They should be getting there...at 1 in the morning with traffic?
Considering it takes almost twelve hours to get there, apparently.

I missed them before the bus even left the school.

But, good news.
Apparently if you're on guard, you can go.
So next year I'm doing guard.
Problem?
It costs 600$ apparently.
And then the trip is a lot too.

I'll get the money somehow.
I need to.
I must go on next years trip


!

I found a better emotion.

]]> ~OrangeSquishii http://OrangeSquishii.deviantart.com/journal/18097035/ http://OrangeSquishii.deviantart.com/journal/18097035/ Wed, 30 Apr 2008 06:01:44 PDT STILL.

And today is the day that all of the music kids are leaving.
I wanted to say goodbye.
I'm really upset.
I could still go into school but
I'd have to deal with my teachers
which I really don't want to do.
Should I go in?
I think I might.
My mom hasn't left for work yet so..
Yeah.
I shall see about going in.
But if I don't..
D:

]]> ~OrangeSquishii http://OrangeSquishii.deviantart.com/journal/18083957/ http://OrangeSquishii.deviantart.com/journal/18083957/ Tue, 29 Apr 2008 09:55:55 PDT It's the same thing.
Over.
and Over.
and Over.
Again.

I don't want a boyfriend.
I don't want love.
I want FRIENDS.
Goddamn.
People.
Need.
To.
Fucking.
Understand.
That.

]]> ~OrangeSquishii http://OrangeSquishii.deviantart.com/journal/18044018/ http://OrangeSquishii.deviantart.com/journal/18044018/ Sat, 26 Apr 2008 19:32:41 PDT Because I don't understand.







There are so many things I want to say.
So many things.
But they'll never be said.
Obviously.
Certain people I don't want to see what I say.

]]> ~OrangeSquishii http://OrangeSquishii.deviantart.com/journal/18034435/ http://OrangeSquishii.deviantart.com/journal/18034435/ Sat, 26 Apr 2008 07:27:04 PDT
Wait, what?
o____O;;;;;




I should be cleaning.
Not sitting in my bed with my laptop.

I'll probably stay online though.
Even though there isn't anybody on.

]]> ~OrangeSquishii http://OrangeSquishii.deviantart.com/journal/18009183/ http://OrangeSquishii.deviantart.com/journal/18009183/ Thu, 24 Apr 2008 15:08:33 PDT _____________________________<

I'm annoyed.
Really. Really. Annoyed.

I feel like I just want...
Ugh.
I don't know what I want anymore.
I'm swearing off guys.
Quite honestly I don't want to care anymore.
Yea, sometimes rarely they're nice.
But the rest of the time?
I can't even begin to explain;
And I don't really want to.

Well, I can talk to Sarah about it C:
She understands me, and I'm glad.
I've actually come to the conclusion that Sarah's the closest I've ever been with a friend, considering I tell her almost everything.
And she GETS it. She doesn't just..
She doesn't just nod, say "Okay" and forget about it.
So, because of that, I'm glad.

]]> ~OrangeSquishii http://OrangeSquishii.deviantart.com/journal/17976461/ http://OrangeSquishii.deviantart.com/journal/17976461/ Tue, 22 Apr 2008 19:41:41 PDT
I didn't go to school today.
Quite honestly, I felt like shit, and needed a day off.
Also.
I skipped math yesterday.
I really shouldn't have.
REALLY.
Because, even though it should go on the new marking period, I now have seven absences in her class.
I could say I was in guidance.
But she may ask for a pass.
Or ask guidance.
I can blame someone, though.
Lexii Rotunda.
Peer pressure.
It does exist, contrary to popular belief.
I'm never listening to her again, I can tell you that.
This marking period has to be the best I've ever done.
Don't expect me online AS much, for what I'm about to now tell you.

So originally, my grandmother was going to come get me and take me to school, and my father agreed to not come here to take me as well as taking my laptop.
Well, when she got here, I told her I really didn't feel well. She checked my temperature, and said I had a slight fever.
So she called my mother, and told her I wasn't going to school.
My mother called my father.
MISTAKE.
He came, raging mad, to my house, took the wireless internet box, said I lied to him, and left.
Right now, I'm across the street from my house, sitting on a tree stump.
The only place I can get internet.
I'm glad I live in such a quiet neighborhood at a dead end.

The week has only just begun.



Edit.
Mood changed to Sickened.
Anger>Disgust>Sickened.

]]> ~OrangeSquishii http://OrangeSquishii.deviantart.com/journal/17963386/ http://OrangeSquishii.deviantart.com/journal/17963386/ Mon, 21 Apr 2008 16:57:32 PDT
Internet.
The one thing.
That keeps me sane.
I can't LIVE.
Without it.
Because I can't live without constant communication of my friends.
I'll admit
that I'm pretty damn pathetic.
But it's what keeps me alive.

Well, my dad's at it again.
At least I think he's more on my side.
See, I fight with my mom every night,
because she always wants to turn the internet cable box off.
She threatens to take it out of the room too.
And then to take it to work with her the next day.
Well, she calls my dad.
When these nights occur.
And she yells at him,
telling him she wants it changed.
And wants the internet gone,
wants my laptop gone,
wants the wireless internet gone.

So my dad came over today.
He put the firewall settings back up.
[for vacation they hadn't been up.]
7:00pm to 8:30pm.
That's the times.
The only time during the day
that I can be happy.

Now, HOPEFULLY
like last time I'll still be able to go on AIM and MSN and just not browsers after that time.
So, like last time I will be able to keep my computer on all night.
But I dunno.
I guess I'll have to wait.
Just for tonight the internet gets to stay on until 9:15pm.
So until then, this is the only time I have.

Oh, also.
The internet stuff is being moved down to the basement.
Not today, but apparently soon.

I'm really fucking pissed.
I'm actually still crying my eyes out.
I'm disgusted at myself at the same time.
Because I care so much about the internet.
I haven't cried over anything else, lately,
except for the internet or my laptop.

I really hope that I'll be able to go on AIM at least, after the set time arrives.
I really do love my friends.
They're the only thing in life
that really does
keep me alive.
Without them..
I'd be nothing.

]]> ~OrangeSquishii http://OrangeSquishii.deviantart.com/journal/17935264/ http://OrangeSquishii.deviantart.com/journal/17935264/ Sat, 19 Apr 2008 22:05:11 PDT
Yessssss.
Tired.
It's late.
Why am I awake?
lmao I don't even know.
Hahaha~


Uhmmm.
Yeah.
Bored.
Online.
I think..
I'll go to bed.
Yes..
I will.
NIGHTNIGHT MY LOVERLIESSSS.


I shouldn't be allowed to make journal entries this late..or early?
ROFLMAO.
IT'S ONE IN THE MORNINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG.
<3

]]> ~OrangeSquishii http://OrangeSquishii.deviantart.com/journal/17931594/ http://OrangeSquishii.deviantart.com/journal/17931594/ Sat, 19 Apr 2008 17:29:22 PDT I just cut my hair
My side bangs
I think they're too short
I'll put pictures up soon.

I gotta get ready firsttt.



So today was fun.
I went to the mall with some of my best friends everrrr.
I got some new stuff :]

]]> ~OrangeSquishii http://OrangeSquishii.deviantart.com/journal/17901392/ http://OrangeSquishii.deviantart.com/journal/17901392/ Thu, 17 Apr 2008 18:34:15 PDT
That was a fun day.








In other news, my brother got a PSP, the little fucker.
So I'm getting my own.
This Saturday, or even tomorrow.
A black one.
Because I'm PISSED.
He gets everything.
He just got a new digital camera.
150$. How much did my father spend on MY birthday present?!
30$. He left the price tag on by accident. And what was this present? I box set of Sims 2 cheat codes and hint books, for all of the expansion packs. I only have three of these, and besides that, I don't even play the game much anymore, because it goes so goddamn slow there really isn't much of a point.
A 200$ PSP. Because it came with something or other, I dunno.
He wasn't even supposed to GET it today.
My mom is such a pushover, I guess that's where I get it from.
In all honesty, all boys really are asses, at one time or another.
Sorry, Josh. You're not an exception either.

Oh, Josh also BURNED MY HAND. Today, while making rice crispy treats at Kirsten's house.
Who knew marshmallows could be so painful?!
Ahahaha, Josh, you know you're my bestie <3
This blister is annoying though.

Anyway the PSP's internet thing kinda sucks, cause my brother is letting me look at his.
I think the only reason my mom bought it today was because he said he'd "share" it with me.
Bullshit.
But yeah, it won't even let me get on Meebo, what a let down.
I'd really rather get the iPod touch.
Hmmm...
Maybe I can get that instead.
Gah, I dunno.
I need some opinions on what to do.
No, Emi, I'm not buying you iPod touch from you for 300$.
I don't care how much you want that vampire doll.

So I'm going to the mall with my mom tomorrow, sadly I can't take any friends because I have to buy clothing. Ew.
Hopefully also an iPod touch.
And then Saturday I might go to a different mall with Kirsten...
Dunno about that though.


So, yeah, I guess if you actually read the whole thing, only then do you have the right to comment on this piece of shit that is my life.


I loved today.

]]> ~OrangeSquishii http://OrangeSquishii.deviantart.com/journal/17886924/ http://OrangeSquishii.deviantart.com/journal/17886924/ Wed, 16 Apr 2008 19:37:21 PDT
1. Who sits next to you in math?
Sammi.

2. What's the last text you received on your mobile?
Well, before my mom got rid of texting, it was probably Shannon.

3. When will your next kiss be?
When I get a boyfriend?

4. What song are you listening to?
Happiness - Super Junior [blaming josh.]

5. Who does it remind you of?
Hugs.

6. Last movie you watched?
Uhm...Wolf's Rain, I think.

7. Which of your friends lives closest to you?
I don't even know anymore.

8. What CD is in your stereo?
I Brought You My Bullets, You Brought Me Your Love - My Chemical Romance

9. Has a friendship ended recently that you wish hadn't?
Eh, not really sure at this point.

10. What did you do last night?
Came home from Philadelphia. Then went online until midnight. I have such an exciting life.

11. When you're home alone, do you still close the door when you shower?
Always.

12. Do you wear contacts or glasses?
Nope.

14. Do you like your music loud or at a reasonable level?
It depends if I'm trying to piss someone off or not. Other than that, I usually have it at a reasonable level.

15. Are you a beach person or a snowy mountain person?
Snow. I don't like beaches because the sand always sticks and then it's all uncomfortable. Plus I like to ski.

16. Who was the last person to call you?
Sammi. She left a hilarious message, I'm not sure if she noticed, but she said "Hi Sammi it's Rachel!" I laughed so hard.

17. What annoys you?
Most boys. Brothers. Parents. My laptop. Dogs. Lint. Bad music. People.

18. When do you prefer to take a shower, morning or night?
Night, I feel so awkward when there's light from the outside coming into the room when I take a shower.

19. Next vacation?
Ewwww, I wanna stay here for a while.

20. Do you play any instruments?
I'm buying an electric guitar soon, and I used to play the clarinet.

21. Can you watch scary movies alone?
Never have. Want to. With friends.

22. Do you want any piercings?
Something..maybe nose? Or cartilage.

24. Would you rather stay home all day, or be out and about?
I'd rather be out. With friends, maybe the mall or just someone's house. I hate being alone.

25. Look out the window?
My front yard.

26. What are your nicknames?
Rayla, Raylutard.

27. Last time you went to the mall?
Dunno. It was with Kirsten, and Sarah though.
Oh, and Kirsten's sister and her friend.

28. Who last aim/msn messaged you?
Jessie.

29. What kind of music do you like?
Well, I don't really pay attention to genres. Anything that strikes my fancy.

31. Ever snuck out of the house?
Nope.

32. What color underwear are you wearing?
Purple.

33. Last thing you purchased?
Uh...candy?

34. What's your favorite beverage?
Pretty much all soda except for root beer, Shirley temples, Milkshakes, and uhm..water.

35. Plans for tonight?
Sleeeeeeeeeep. After being online for a long time..

36. Do people ever spell your name wrong?
Sometimes they spell it Rachael. Mostly just my last name is spelled wrong.

37. What's the last compliment you received?
Hah.

38. Are you watching TV?
No.

39. Where would you like to live?
Englanddd <3

40. Last time you spent the night at someone's house?
Can't remember. But I know it was at Kirsten's house with Sarah and Josh.

41. When was the last time you were extremely disappointed?
Can't remember.

42. Do moochers annoy you?
Yeahh, but I'm such a pushover.

43. What's your worst habit?
I'm incredibly annoying.

44. Is there anyone you regret ever meeting?
Not that I can recall.

45. On the opposite sex where do you like them to have piercings?
A single ear, maybe something else facial.

46. Would you rather have roommates or live alone?
Surrounded by my friendsss.

48. Have you ever made someone sooo mad that they broke something?
Dunno.

50. Do you have a crush on someone?
Yep.


I tag all of you.
Do it.
NOW.

]]> ~OrangeSquishii http://OrangeSquishii.deviantart.com/journal/17876638/ http://OrangeSquishii.deviantart.com/journal/17876638/ Wed, 16 Apr 2008 07:34:55 PDT
Oh, thank fucking god.
I'm home.

Well, I'm not exactly sure if that's a good thing, but, hey, it's better than Philadelphia.
I missed my friends, my room, and especially my bed @____@;

Philly was pretty boring, I think the only reason I really went was to see Emi xD
Because other than that, it was like torture ;____;

I finally got off my lazy ass and got some new supplies.
For things people need not know about.
They're so cool though ;;
I also got a new shirt!
It says "Come to the Dark side, we have cookies".
It's this one: CLICK ME.
And I love it so much :3

I'm excited for todayy~

]]> ~OrangeSquishii http://OrangeSquishii.deviantart.com/journal/17859748/ http://OrangeSquishii.deviantart.com/journal/17859748/ Tue, 15 Apr 2008 05:32:12 PDT
Are you people afraid about how that complete idiot approached a bill that hasn't even been proposed yet?!
I'm talking about the Orphaned Works thing.
That article that's been going around is so wrong it's not even funny.
Read this article, it's a much better source for information.
[link]

I think everyone should calm down about it afterwords.
Please pass that link around, not that other one =__________=;


---
Edit:

I'm leaving Philadelphia today.
YAY.
I should be home tonight.
Hopefully.
If I'm not dead.

But for now, I must go to pack my things and then we're going to some historical place, and then, hopefully not, some zoo or something that my brother wants to go to. Idiot.

Gah, well, bye for now.

]]> ~OrangeSquishii http://OrangeSquishii.deviantart.com/journal/17849551/ http://OrangeSquishii.deviantart.com/journal/17849551/ Mon, 14 Apr 2008 14:03:23 PDT Yesterday was magicalll
Emi and I went to a museum!
The Philadelphia museum of Artttt~
Hahaha it was fun.

Then we went back to my hotelll!
And had dinner [:
I want an iPod touch now D:
AND MORE COPICS OMG
EMI
FUCKING
GAVE
ME
THREE
FUCKING
COPICS.

They are~:
R59 Cardinal
100 Black
and
E21 Baby Skin Pink

!!
O:

]]> ~OrangeSquishii http://OrangeSquishii.deviantart.com/journal/17827287/ http://OrangeSquishii.deviantart.com/journal/17827287/ Sun, 13 Apr 2008 07:40:52 PDT
Goodbye.
Leaving for PA.

Can't wait to see Emi!

I just wish..
I could have said goodbye to all of my friends.
Oh well.

]]> ~OrangeSquishii http://OrangeSquishii.deviantart.com/journal/17820039/ http://OrangeSquishii.deviantart.com/journal/17820039/ Sat, 12 Apr 2008 19:21:29 PDT i dont feel well.
a lot of shit has happened.
i'm confused.
i have a head ache.
i don't really want to go to philadelphia tomorrow.
i really wish i could have said goodbye to my friends.

so i'm just gonna rest for a while.
will i be back?
i dunno.

i think i need a hug..
someone to comfort me..
to reassure me.
it kind of sucks that i cant have that..
for another four or five days.

then again..
would i even be comforted then?
someone needs to tell me
that everything is alright
that my world is not being destroyed
that living is worth it
that i shouldn't be upset.

i am still sort of here though,
for those that actually bother to read my away messages.
so please talk to me..
i just want to say goodbye to my friends..
is that so much to ask for?
maybe it is.
maybe i'm being a selfish bitch.
i just...
i feel like i'm dying.
it's that or..
like a part of my heart is being ripped out
and shredded into a billion pieces
and then blown away in the wind
for anybody to stomp on
like a worthless leaf."

i think the only reason for going to philly tomorrow is to see emi.
and you know, maybe i need a break from the normal people i hang out with.

again, i can't change my mood.
so let's pretend that i'm confused.

]]> ~OrangeSquishii http://OrangeSquishii.deviantart.com/journal/17808962/ http://OrangeSquishii.deviantart.com/journal/17808962/ Sat, 12 Apr 2008 08:10:20 PDT
I don't even know anymore.
I thought..
but I guess I thought wrong.

Well, I'm terribly bored.
Tomorrow I leave for Philadelphia.
I really really want to do something fun today.
Does anyone wanna make plans?
Pleaseee? ;___________;

My room is even all clean O:
I'll be on AIM for a while...
So talk to me there I guess.
And maybe make plans?

kthnxbaiiiii.

]]> ~OrangeSquishii http://OrangeSquishii.deviantart.com/journal/17738317/ http://OrangeSquishii.deviantart.com/journal/17738317/ Mon, 07 Apr 2008 19:41:45 PDT
Seriously.
They should all just drop dead.
Right now.

There is now a 3000$ firewall in my mothers office right now.
Which only allows me online from 7-9pm, or it's supposed to.
I was ready to go on at 7 today, but it wasn't letting me.
So my dad had to come to my house to fix it and change it from 6:30-10pm, which I doubt he did correctly.

Ugh.
And there is one way I could bypass it, and that's if I know the linksys router password, I don't give a flying fuck about the stupid firewall passwords and settings and shit.
But the asshole went and changed that too.
And I think he may have made it so that only certain IPs could access it or something, because for some reason it won't let me on to just the router when I unplug the firewall from the equation completely, and have it like it had used to be.

I need to go to circuit city and buy myself a router.
Just to be able to use without that asshole bothering me.
Can someone maybe drive me? That'd be much appreciated.
Or I could give someone money and tell them what to get.
That'd be nice.

Ughhh, I'm really annoyed at life.
I don't have time to deal with highschool drama shit, let alone a social or love life.
I'm leaving for Pennsylvania next Sunday, and of course taking my laptop.
We're going to Philadelphia, ew.
I'll be online as much as possible, I promise. The hotel is supposed to have wi-fi.

Hm.
The internet should be off.
I have no idea why..
It was supposed to go off at 10.
But it's not?
I can't get on actual sites, though.
I had to go on AOL, and then use a proxy to get to dA.
I'm not going to turn off my computer until 6:30 tomorrow, just in case.
So I'll only be on AIM.
No other things.
I'll be drawing like crazy though.
Maybe I'll send someone my drawings over AIM and they can put them on dA for me.
Some I TRUST.

Well, I'll leave dA now.
It's annoying to have to click the little pop up whenever I want to go to a new page.

Hopefully I'll be on tomorrow?
Yeah. Hopefully.
Well, toodles.

I can't change my mood for the journal, stupid proxy site isn't letting me.
Let's just say I'm PISSED, kay?

]]> ~OrangeSquishii http://OrangeSquishii.deviantart.com/journal/17704619/ http://OrangeSquishii.deviantart.com/journal/17704619/ Sat, 05 Apr 2008 19:21:05 PDT
I went to the mall!
I got candyyyyy!
And new skull candy headphones!
And...
er, I think that's it.
I was so wrapped up in the fact that I would spend too much, that I didn't buy any thing else xD

I'm feeling so much better noww :]
Plus I had sugar, sooooo~

> w <

]]> ~OrangeSquishii http://OrangeSquishii.deviantart.com/journal/17696667/ http://OrangeSquishii.deviantart.com/journal/17696667/ Sat, 05 Apr 2008 09:52:10 PDT
I'm REALLY annoyed right now.
I really hate people that you think are your friends
actually turn out to be backstabbing bitches who really don't give a fuck about your feelings.
It bothers me that these so called friends can lie and make it seem like everything is okay.
Sorry, but that doesn't work when I've already been told by a very reliable source on what's been going on.

Are these friends not the right ones?
Should I just slowly drift away from them, so I don't feel like this any more?
Should I make NEW new friends, or just go back and reunite with the old ones?
Or maybe...
I can just be a loner.
With nobody.

I've been feeling like crying..
But it's this type of sad and upsetness..that I feel so horrible..
Yet I can't cry.
I feel almost like my emotions and feelings have taken a punch to the gut.

At least ~MochaPuff has nothing to do with this.

There are other concerns, though.
I kinda hate life. I'm definitely not coming back here again.
Next time when I'm wherever I am before being on Earth, and they ask if I want to be here..
It's a flat out no.
I encourage others to do the same.
Who wants to have to go through this again?

I suppose I should make the most of it while I'm here.
Probably not going to happen.
I'll probably do nothing exciting or good with my life.
Oh well.


Mall later, I hope. With a few amazingly good friends.

]]> ~OrangeSquishii http://OrangeSquishii.deviantart.com/journal/17682969/ http://OrangeSquishii.deviantart.com/journal/17682969/ Fri, 04 Apr 2008 12:51:13 PDT
So bored, so very very bored.
There's nearly nobody online.
;_______;
I wanna do something funnnn tomorrow !

A certain somebody owes me cupcakes, rawr.
Somebody make plansss with meeee.
So I know if I actually should clean my room or not.

Arghh, so boredddd.
Where the hell is everyone?
[hypothetical question]

]]> ~OrangeSquishii http://OrangeSquishii.deviantart.com/journal/17673587/ http://OrangeSquishii.deviantart.com/journal/17673587/ Thu, 03 Apr 2008 19:34:02 PDT [bitchy complaining]
Ahahaha
I'm tireddd.
My throat hurts.
My nose is stuffy.
I cried today;
and got tears on my art project.
Tears + Chalk Pastels = Not good.
Life is horribly, nauseatingly, horrifyingly frustrating.
[/bitchy complaining]

[happiness]
I'm happy about how my social, if you so want it to be called, life, is going at the moment.
I have absolutely amazing friends.
I swear, without art or friends,
I'd be long dead by now.

They're just so amazingly awesome I can't even begin to explain it.
Just when I'm around friends, I can't help but get a horribly silly grin on my face.
They just make me so fucking happy.
[/happiness]

]]> ~OrangeSquishii http://OrangeSquishii.deviantart.com/journal/17632242/ http://OrangeSquishii.deviantart.com/journal/17632242/ Tue, 01 Apr 2008 12:51:28 PDT
They said my new components would arrive Tuesday, and they did.
New keyboard is installed and everything C:
AND NEW CHARGERRR~!

So I can finally give ~halloweenwolf and ~DragonCabbage their old one back!

Yayyyy~

And then tomorrow it's cake timeeee!

Mmmm, can't wait for May 9th.
Sammi knows.
Sammi's in on this one.
And Sammi alone, for now.

]]> ~OrangeSquishii http://OrangeSquishii.deviantart.com/journal/17595933/ http://OrangeSquishii.deviantart.com/journal/17595933/ Sun, 30 Mar 2008 19:21:21 PDT
I want a new keyboard ;______;
Tuesday better come soon.
Not wanting to explain details.
But I was extremely angry at a certain somebody for a while.
But I'm not very good at staying mad at people ^_^;
I don't even carry out threats.
Well, except if I threaten to bite you.
Then I will do it.
Many people can vouch for me on that one.

Yawn, I'm tired.
Not many people really comment on these any more anyway.
Snoreee.

So nice to meet you
I see right through that smile so in other words
So nice to meet you.
I hope I never see your face again.

]]> ~OrangeSquishii http://OrangeSquishii.deviantart.com/journal/17586232/ http://OrangeSquishii.deviantart.com/journal/17586232/ Sun, 30 Mar 2008 08:54:33 PDT
Really annoyed.
Lies are going around.
Confusions and gossip.
Things are not what they seem.

ARGH.

]]> ~OrangeSquishii http://OrangeSquishii.deviantart.com/journal/17545458/ http://OrangeSquishii.deviantart.com/journal/17545458/ Thu, 27 Mar 2008 17:11:35 PDT
I got an email from Mrs. Voychick after I sent her my pictures for my art project.
It was as followed:

i got them !!!!
these are excellent - i will bring the two copies in color print tomorrow to school
i really like the second and third ones. the one with the top of the dress has really interesting folds and lines. the third one with the rippling fabric at the bottom is also an interesting line pattern...and i really like the yellow stair coloring that happened in the background..............great colors !!!

oops.....my color printer is not coming out green and yellow....
probably need new ink.
i will send these to my school computer and hope for better colors there.
but this is ok for drawing and you can always add the colors yourself.

thanks...cya





Hahahahaa.
Funny.

]]> ~OrangeSquishii http://OrangeSquishii.deviantart.com/journal/17542675/ http://OrangeSquishii.deviantart.com/journal/17542675/ Thu, 27 Mar 2008 14:27:00 PDT
So much more.


Arghh.
Stop the world, I want to get off.
People can't fucking help changing, can they?
Well, they should.
If they don't want to lose friends.
Friends that actually do give a damn about what they do with their lives.
Friends that want them to do what's right, and what's best for them.

Sarah knows what I'm going on about.
Sarah knows I'm not crazy.

]]> ~OrangeSquishii http://OrangeSquishii.deviantart.com/journal/17530226/ http://OrangeSquishii.deviantart.com/journal/17530226/ Wed, 26 Mar 2008 18:15:46 PDT
I had a fun day!
Me, ~Feathery-Wings, ~Junebug18x and ~demonuncle went to the mall todayyyy!
It was awesomefull C:
The dollar store has everything o____O
EXCEPT MIRRORS THAT AREN'T HUGE AND SAY PRINCESS ON THEM LOL.

Hahahhaa <3

On the other hand, as soon as I came home my mom yelled at me.
Wanting me to clean and other shit.
And then Voychick called.
Yeah, perfect timing.
[/sarcasm]

My foot really hurts, I dunno why.
I told my mom and she's all "OOH POOR YOU. YOU ALWAYS HAVE SOME EXCUSE TO NOT DO WHAT I ASK YOU TO [insert loud screaming here]" So now I have a headache.
D;
I'M NOT GOING TO FUCKING CLEAN OR ANYTHING WHEN I JUST GOT BACK FROM WALKING AROUND FOR 3 HOURS AND MY FOOT HURTS AND I'M TIRED.
She also wants me to clean because she wants a blinds lady to come or something.
I don't want new blinds, even though I need some.
I don't really care o_O

]]> ~OrangeSquishii http://OrangeSquishii.deviantart.com/journal/17514712/ http://OrangeSquishii.deviantart.com/journal/17514712/ Tue, 25 Mar 2008 18:18:05 PDT
Can't wait for tomorrow!

Really loving life right now...
well, if you exclude school..
and home life..
everything is fun and happyful :]


Superrrrr excited.



]]> ~OrangeSquishii http://OrangeSquishii.deviantart.com/journal/17498608/ http://OrangeSquishii.deviantart.com/journal/17498608/ Mon, 24 Mar 2008 19:00:30 PDT
iScribble.net

Ah-mazing.
Have a tablet?
Get your ass over there and join the fun.

<33

]]> ~OrangeSquishii http://OrangeSquishii.deviantart.com/journal/17488750/ http://OrangeSquishii.deviantart.com/journal/17488750/ Mon, 24 Mar 2008 08:42:55 PDT
I have nothing to do today.
And I have to admit, I'm pretty...scared? nervous? at what could happen with somebody else, with what they're doing today.
Ah, oh well. Shouldn't really let it be a burden on my back.

So, nothing to do. Isn't that exciting? My room is clean, so I can actually do something and my mom can't say no.

I kind of hate love. Too confusing, too annoying, too...much.
There really is practically no point in having a relationship at my age, because there really are only to ends to a relationship. You can break up with them, or marry them. And even marriage has two ends, stay together forever, or divorce.
Stupid, isn't it?
And who knows, maybe there's nobody in the world that's perfect for you. Maybe you'll never find "The One".
Depressing.
And then what sucks more is lusting after somebody at this age.
They'll never know how much you care because you're completely terrified of telling them.
"Oh, just tell them already, it'll be so much better and you'll feel so much better!", is what everyone says.
WRONG. Been there, done that, and it sure as hell didn't work out.
I know what's best for myself, and until somebody says something to me, I'm predicting that I'm going to be a single woman the rest of my life, as a cat lady.
Yup.
That's all planned out right now.

]]> ~OrangeSquishii http://OrangeSquishii.deviantart.com/journal/17473719/ http://OrangeSquishii.deviantart.com/journal/17473719/ Sun, 23 Mar 2008 11:31:10 PDT
Wow, 3k Pageviews...
When did that happen?

Ahhh mannnn.
This has been one of the best long weekends of my LIFE.
I'm so sad that tomorrow's the last day of it ;;

Tango got new hair and a lip ring~
It looks so cool O:
And I kinda got to help :3

I, on the other hand, am still my boring old self xD;

Oh. My. God.
*teamTHRASH. have. a. hello kitty. toaster. that. burns. her. face. into. toast.

Amazing.
Val made some but it didn't really work very well xD So Tango just ate it.


Lalalala~
I kind of hate not being able to celebrate Easter.
I'm so lonely on days like this..
on other holidays too...
Nobody's ever online..
Stupid religion.
Oh well....

How do people sleep at night knowing that they've been tricking someone, toying with their brain and emotions, violating their trust? Do they at least feel guilt?
:/

]]> ~OrangeSquishii