deviantART: by:Paperdollhorror

I actually...

~Paperdollhorror — Tue, 21 Oct 2008 18:55:25 PDT

Updated.

End of the world!

(More to come?!)

Comeback Kid

~Paperdollhorror — Mon, 02 Jun 2008 16:32:46 PDT

I've graduated HS this weekend and I'm getting the interwebz back.

Expect massive updates this summer.

I'm not dead yet

~Paperdollhorror — Sat, 29 Mar 2008 19:49:15 PDT

Long time no see.

Commish- -New version of the Queen Of Hearts from Alice In Wonderland. (A character she played and looked awesome as from a school event)

Job- Numerous logos and such for Lopper to use for his new business... PopCandy [link]

Please, don't let me dissapoint them.

Updates- Eventually...I hate scanning.

It's been a while!

~Paperdollhorror — Sat, 13 Oct 2007 18:52:21 PDT

Let's see, my last update was on August FIRST! Damn. Anyway, I'm in two art classes at my new/back to old school in Wisconsin. I'm hoping to sell most of it at the Art Fair though (I need the money) Now, why do you ask I need the money? Why am I looking and waiting for a job like a rabid hungry dog?

Because, m'dears-
This week I am applying at The Art Institute of Colorado for several reasons-

*Graphic Art sounds fun, though I prefer fine art but hey...gotta bring home the bacon, eh?
*The love of my life lives there
*The LVoe of my life ALSO lives there
*I am going to live with my friend Brianne and her two-three friends in a HUGE rental house only for 125-150 a month (not including utilities).
*Brianne and her friends are also going to the college
*They're going into the culinary arts
*I get to eat like a fat man
*It is a cheaper school than St. Norberts or Ringling so I know I can afford it without selling a kidney.
*Because, I Lvoe/Love my Gwen and Sam and can't wait to be able to see them more often <3 Hell, I'll be only about 15 minutes away from EACH<3 HOW COOL IS THAT?!

Argh, I lvoe/love you two.

-COMMISIONS-

~Paperdollhorror — Wed, 01 Aug 2007 20:59:40 PDT

I'm doing commisions for money so I have something to start with when I move out, so if you're interested message me.

11x14 Bristol Paper
Sketch-$10
Inked-$20
Coloured-$30

11x14 (and larger) Tattoos-
Same price as above

8 1/2 x 11 Bristol Paper
Sketch-$5
Inked-$10
Coloured-$15

8 1/2 x 11 Tattoos-
Sketch-$5
Inked-$7
Coloured-$10

Backgrounds for all of those will be an extra $10 depending on the design.
Deadlines get a discount (because otherwise I won't take you buggers seriously enough to work)

So please please PLEASE if you're interested PM me. PLEASE.
Don't make me BEG!

"Hold this thread as I walk away"

~Paperdollhorror — Fri, 06 Jul 2007 23:02:10 PDT

Sooo...I admit it has been a LONG time since I've updated with any piece of work. But- I do have 1 currently needing to be inked, 1 in the middle of sketching, and 1 in the middle of colouring. Sooo, I should have SOMETHING up in due time. Just be patient with me, k?

Reasons for my laziness ER inability to update-
*Been taking care of my spastic puppy
*Been taking care of 6 other not-yet-spastic puppies on top of that
*Harry Potter (move AND book) are coming out soon so I'm geeking completely over that
*School.

Not really any sort of excuses; In fact they're terrible excuses for excuses but there you go.

I WILL be back, mark my words.

6 things

~Paperdollhorror — Mon, 05 Mar 2007 15:26:54 PST

I guess it's time for an update, eh?
Well to start, I was tagged by

Six Little-Known Things About Me:

1) I'm afraid to leave my room (Agoraphobia)
2) I do care about school but taking long baths, cleaning my room, and sleeping forever always gets in the way ;o;
3) I'm a pack rat. If anything has any sort of value to me (bottles, hairties, pens, plastic frogs, bobblehead chickens, etc) I'll keep it around >> Forever.
4) I fear the postal office, delivery ppls, spiders, roaches, large flying bugs, and dustmites.
5) I remember everything everybody else DOESN'T ;o;
6) I intentionally buy crappy movies for the background noise so I can multi-task with the distraction of a good movie. Not sure how much sense that makes but I do it anyway.

Also, I tag anybody who reads this ;D TAKE THAT HOOKAS.

Anyways, I have been updating some, as I'm sure you've noticed. I still have a bunch of digital practice and stuff I did during my long hiatus but I really don't think any of it is that good. I'll probably upload for ADVANCED CRITIQUE (plz?) when I have the time.

Been getting out more often, every sunday I go to visit my boyfriend (Jose) and/or other friends. The rest of the week is homework and helping mum take care of the baby, so I can't imagine myself updating again anytime soon unless it's something small. I need new paper anyways.

Laters <3

Hiatus.

~Paperdollhorror — Sat, 09 Dec 2006 00:22:45 PST

My hand is like...

Really cramped and in pain from drawing and note-taking.
So I won't be posting anything GOOD for a while and now some Christmas presents may be late >>

shhhh

I wrapped our love in all this foil
Silver tight like spider legs
I never wanted it to ever spoil
But flies will lay their eggs...
-Rasputina-

Feature :D

~Paperdollhorror — Thu, 07 Dec 2006 15:42:10 PST

Working on something for but she basically said "Blonde curly hair, and green eyes" and that's it. So I'm having trouble debating on which one I want to finish. I currenlty have like...3 sketched out...

ALSO-
As part of the "Underappreciated artists of DA" movement that seems to be going on, I want to feature this guy :]

He's got a lot of views and like...60 watchers but I still think he needs more notice.

I found his gallery through the search and I keep poking around in there every once and a while. I finally did it for like... He's got some really great surreal work so go check him out :]

"If it stayed I'd never leave it"

~Paperdollhorror — Tue, 28 Nov 2006 14:54:07 PST

I was looking forward to a nice quiet Christmas and a spectacular New Years with friends...but...

>: / visiting famly, DAMNT. Don't get me wrong, I love them and all but they flip out during holidays. Also, Cara is supposed to be getting out of jail sometime this week if the court hearing goes right. Not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing....

Ah, well.
'Tis the season.

Plus, I might be getting Max back if I go :] (dog )

My updates might be slow for a while for I really DO need to get a week or two AHEAD in school. I did find out that the end of the semester ISN'T Jan 3rd. which is a very, very, VERY good thing. I wouldn't be ready but the third...Oh, Hell no.

Been trying to get X-mas presents together to send out. I'm just going to buy the ones for my friends when I visit Wisconsin so I don't have to send them. It'll just work out better that way.

ALSO, I am waiting
Waiting for a poster.
Because I can't be on Amazon and NOT buy something for my self. It's a poster of "Swans Reflecting Elephants" by Salvador Dali if you don't already know that. :] go google it; it's awesome.

ALSOALSO, I think my hamster is braindamaged... xD It kinda..like..runs into everything and crawls on walls and on the ceiling of it's cage and like..falls..all over the place...I didn't know hamsters could do that. Reminds me of "The Exorcist" haha, funny li' bugger

"Tying yourself to me
Stitch up my emptiness
'Cause you're the death of me
So precious loving the t h r i l l"
-Orgy.

"As far as I know doing right"

~Paperdollhorror — Fri, 24 Nov 2006 00:21:30 PST

There is an extreme lack of emotional balance lately. Not just in myself, in most people I know.

Part of being human is that we don't always know what to do. We make mistakes and one of those mistakes is our emotions. Acting
With how bitter the human race is; the need to blame and set back kills us. The inability to accept responsibility and reasoning for our lives brings silly drama and unhealthy addictions.

If the purpose of a human exists in finding the reason (if there is one) and the purpose (if there is one) of how they live then questions will go unanswered. Blind hope keeps them thinking in fairy tales of whatever they want to believe and the drama they create is just the comparison from the Heaven in their head to the Hell right beside it. Suddenly a lost pet, bad relationship, death of a parent or loved one, war, etc. It doesn't matter how small or how big you think it is; in the end it doesn't matter. It's only Hell if you want it to be and if you insist to dwell on such things your entire life completely ignoring the simple things in life that need not to be questioned.

thinking is what we fear to do. If you're alone though, you think. There's not much else TO do and by starting out alone surely we all die alone. There's no possible way to go out with somebody coming with you especially when you have no solid fact for what happens beyond death (if anything at all DOES happen) So when you're face to face with whatever Death you're chosen to meet; do you think about your purpose or do you think about the past?

But what if you find out everything BEFORE that moment? You answer all your questions based on observation of other species like you and with each answer a part of you dies inside. That little bit of hope that thought instead of flesh, bone, tissue, etc. there's some magickal ball out of light keeping us around. I guess I shouldn't call it hope; more like wonder or..or curiosity.

If you were to figure out the answer to every question and bring a closure to the nonexistence of your purpose can you choose when and HOW you disapear? Would a...say a set of doors appeared around you; hundreds and each with a different fate awaitingyou. Only it's not fate, because you choose it. Someway to be completely cured of ever flaw that comes with being human. What then? Nothing, of course.

"Now I'm standing here alone;
Waiting on my own
For something that will fill the emptiness
inside the moment that you mind
but this is loneliness I know;
I lay my hand onto my soul
Is this what life has got to give?
Is this the dream I had of you?"
-Schiller & Wolfsheim-

"You were way out of line"

~Paperdollhorror — Sun, 19 Nov 2006 11:38:27 PST

Go LVoe her all messy like.
<3
-------------------------------
I'm tired, I'm cold, and I have a strange craving for toast of all sorts.

But, I did FINALLY see "Feast" yesterday.
I like how in the beginning it's all

Name:Bartender
Fun Fact: Shot 4 times, stabbed 6 times, bit by one squirrel
Life expectancy: Horrible death in 70 minutes

Some of them really made me giggle However it was the same old...
Unknown creature of unknown origin and reason feasting off the people. You find out in the middle ofthe movie (not much of a spoiler, no worries) that they think its' because one of the monsters got hit by a car and the couple of the car went to the bar for safety and the people at the bar killed another one of them but ....

They pork in the middle of the movie and pop out a two headed baby within seconds so they can probably reproduce like crazy which makes me wonder why they would CARE if two of them got killed or IF they care for that matter. So basically..I think they just went on a killing spree when they had obviously been living for so long somewhere else on OTHER creatures.

So it's a really lame plot... The way the deaths are obviously showed that they tried to move away from cliche monster movies but it just makes it look like they tried TOO hard and I can't really care for that. BUT IT'S GOREY, that's a pluss, RIGHT?

Yeah that's all...
Nothing new : / besides regular drama. I miss people, and not just the ones in Wisconsin. I unno,sometimes I miss Lopper and Villada other times I want to kick them in the face... But I really do hope I get to see at least Lopper again : / He's like a brother to me.

"Thank you for making me feel like I am guilty
Making it easy to murder your sweet memory"-Puscifer

"I thought it would be fun and games"

~Paperdollhorror — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 23:25:15 PST

More projects rearing their ugly faces after the weekend!
AND...
Do any of my poppets have a Myspace or Facebook? I think I have everybody already. Hell, Even Alex joined it and it's SLOWLY SUCKING HER LIFE FORCE.

"Instead it's all the same"
----------------------
So I'm leaving on Dec. 27th to go spend a week in Wisconsin and I tell you...I can't wait! Ohhh, I hope I get to see Alex THIS time X3

I have a pretty bad social disorder :/ so bad I haven't gone to visit friends since labour day. Things have happened between now and then so I don't know if I'll see said friends again : / I hope so, I really miss them but I'm afraid it'd be too hard to see these people again..NOW I'm just getting off topic..

This is really the only thing I have to look forward to and I can't wait to spend another New Years with my friends up North<3 I miss Katlyn, Alex, Katie, Lacey, Cheryl, Vickie and the others so much it's driving me crazy! I want a new digital camera for Christmas (one less clunky) so I can take a bunch of photos and stick them up here

Also,
My hamster rocks all manners of socks <3 ITHANKYOU

Gizmo <3

sitting like a fat man!

I need to write my sister a letter sometime soon : /
She's not getting out of jail in a while and for some reason she didn't get my last three.. >< ughhhh I hate this.

AND I STILL HAVE HOMEWORK! D: ARGGHHH
Too much!!!

"I feel the reason as it's leaving me, no, not again
It's quite deceiving as I'm feeling the flesh make me bad"-KoRn

"If you want inside her well.."

~Paperdollhorror — Tue, 14 Nov 2006 22:57:41 PST

"Boy, you better make her rasberry swirl"

I've got two projects right now
-Staci's cover page for senior project
-Airs' REALLY REALLY BELATED birthday present.

....
GYAHHHH D:

Today I was supposed to work on a lot of homework and I haven't gotten the chance too. Mum woke me up and was like "Okay, I'll be there in an hour to take you to the doctor's " and it was like... "HOSHITSON?! D: I have an appointment? THANKS FOR THE WARNING D<"

So like...
Paper gowns are breezy and light but I'd never suggest them as formal wear.

Or casual wear.
Or really any sort of wear.

THENNNNN I went and got my hamster, GIZMO. It's too young to tell the exact gender but Gizmo sounds nice....so it works. Doesn't bite or anything, it's a real sweety. <3

[link]

ANNNNDANDAND...
I am going to Wisconsin for New Years (or about 7-10 days AROUND New Years, but I'll try to be there New Years eve D< Soooo...ALEX YOU BETTER BE THERE THIS TIME BEFORE I SMITE YE! <3 Ohhh, I can't wait to see Katlyn and the others again X3

I've been having on and off headaches for the last year or so and they seem to be getting worse, also..when I get up from sitting or lying down I get really dizzy and go blind for a few seconds. I probably should have asked the doctor, but I wasn't there for that so does anybody else go blind for a few minutes like that?

Nyeahhhh I'm very uncomftorable tonight so I'm being all jittery and like..all over the place. Worried but I don't know why. The most disturbing thing about it is that I am worried about somebody I SHOULDN'T be worried about. Maybe it's just the weather?

"Things are getting desperate
When all the boys can't be men
Everybody knows I'm her friend
Everybody knows I'm her man"
-Tori Amos-

"What you take won't kill you"

~Paperdollhorror — Thu, 09 Nov 2006 22:32:20 PST

"But careful what you're giving"

I've noticed that every relationship I've ever had (however few they are) end up really badly. It's okay though, I'm cool with that It has a lot of effect on my art and that's a good thing. Everytime I AM in a relationship everything looks AWFUL, just AWFUL XD So I'm pretty content about myself again. I'm just really glad I was able to get out of the latest one without any grudges, I'm usually a pretty bitter person so this is a nice respite from my OWN immature behaviour.

It's kind of a cruel irony, but I'm content with it. There's still times when I want to kick somebody in the face for it, but I've always wanted to be around someone who thinks UPSTAIRS Get what I'm saying? XD

"You can scratch all over, but that won't stop you itching"

This weekend Lopper said he wants to go see Saw III again on Sunday. I doubt that will happen, but it's something to look forward too. Tried to meet Lopper twice and I still can't say we know eachother IRL yet.. x.X My fault on the second try! D: It's a shame though, he's a really good friend. At least, I hope so. o.o

I want to go back and visit Wisconsin after this Christmas break. I think Airs wanted to come down during spring (though it could have been summer) so I want to get Wisconsin out of the way. Besides, I really miss mah posse! D:

Been thinking about going to college with Katlyn after highschool. I'm not sure if that will happen (2 years IS a while) go live with her in an apartment with a third person if need be and basically...BUY A BUNCH OF NAMINALS AND TEAR THE PLACE TO SHREDS 8D I already have decorating plans down; she's seen themXD BWAHAHA

Sometime after highschool, I would really like to see Lizzy again Run off to...to...TEXAS together or spend forever in the Bermuda Triangle. Eh? Whaddya think 'bout that? I KNOW, RIGHT!? It's INGENIOUS.

I've been waiting a week for this hamster cage to come in the mail...and if it isn't here by tomorrow I'm gonna flip a bitch. Damnt, I really want to go buy my dwarf hamster D: like..NOW.

I already have...
7 finches
4 dogs (though one lives with Erin now D: <3 Maxxers)
2 tanks of fish
1 lovebird
1 parakeet.
....
I lack a rodent, marsupial, feline, reptile, amphibian, and your MOM.
ONEOFTHESEDAYS.

"There's no time for hesitating
Pain is ready, pain is waiting
Primed to do it's educating"
Depeche Mode-Dream On

"Then my head fell apart"

~Paperdollhorror — Fri, 20 Oct 2006 21:21:17 PDT

Leaving on Tuesday for Jacksonville. I SHOULD be back by...I think... Friday the 3rd. So that's about 11 days of sneaking the computer at my Aunts and at my sisters I'll be pretty inactive D: but that's okay, the good thing about computers is that they save everything so I can keep up with all the crap x.X

I haven't been feeling like myself lately. More like a shell than anything, really. Hopefully this upcoming vacation will help me find myself some more, things likethat usually do, right?

Maybe some day I won't be so much of a hermit.

People are worrying me though.
Their idle threats, their suicide attempts; violent behaviour. I'm worried about these people and I want to make sure they're okay before I leave. : / Most of them are pretty easy fixes, only because I know they want me to help

But one of them
Just one...
is really beginning to scare me.

Granted, they're harmless It's the mind that people need to fear of eachother.

The mind is the only thing to fear.

*shakes head* Ima just being paranoid.
Everything is fine.

"In the back; Off the side and Far away.
Is a place, where I hide; Where I stay.
Tried to say; Tried to ask; I needed to.
All Alone. By myself. Where were you?"
N I N - S o m e w h a t d a m a g e d

"Your soul can't hate anything"

~Paperdollhorror — Mon, 02 Oct 2006 22:39:41 PDT

I will be updating 2 or 3 pictures (depending)sometime tomorrow after I watermark them on the other computer I need a photoshop on this one : /

I don't know how often or how much I'll update in the near future. I need to get a blood test sometime this week and I'll decide on the results how much time I'll have for work. (all depends on how sick I am, I guess)

The last couple of weeks have been really hectic and confusing, but it's time to get through all of that and get some work done. Just need to get off my ass once and a while.

I'm having trouble sorting through emotions. Internal conflicts are one of my many flaws. (I've learned to blame it on Pisces) Emotions are confusing and when I'm done with these belated birthday presents I want to start a series of tearing apart on the inside. (already started)

It just seems like everybody I care about goes away in the end, and everybody I KNOW I love lives too far away. It hurts. It really does.

I don't want to be locked inside anymore.
But I'm afraid to leave the house.

"Everything about you is how I'd wanna be
Your freedom comes naturally,
Everything about you resonates happiness
Now, I won't settle for less

Give me all the peace and joy in your mind
-Muse-Bliss-

"Another pistol loaded, this time it's mine.

~Paperdollhorror — Sat, 09 Sep 2006 00:04:26 PDT

I found a way to make my scanner work so I will be posting two new DAs tomorrow. However, I'm going to start watermarking because some people are just riddiculous and it drives me up the walls.

I'll work on new stuff in the next two weeks. This weekend Villada is sick, and next weekend I'm getting my wisdom teeth pulled, so I'll have more than enough time to waste unless my school starts soon. (I think it is...)

D: I crave the classic slasher films.
It's getting to be that time again *twitch*

I've been trying to get rid of that yearly-slasher-instinct by watching Sailor Moon reruns on youtube >.O Needless to say it doesn't compare but it wastes time, of which I have so much of. (I do still think moon people are asexual, but the praying mantis or black widow theories are still clinging on)

However a certain somebody has waltzed into my life again. Well..news of that certain somebody.Funny how you can devote your time and patience to "fix" somebody and they go and screw it up again. I'll use this knowledge to my advantage.

It's late.
nuff for now.

B r e a t h e
Just for one more day and
y o u ' l l c o m e b a c k t o m e
You're so cold
I, I still wonder whether
y o u ' l l c o m e b a c k t o b e
Just hold on
---Kittie---

"I'm medicated, how are you?"

~Paperdollhorror — Wed, 23 Aug 2006 17:23:27 PDT

Things have been pretty crazy lately.

MY SCANNER CRAPPED OUT ON ME D: No work for a whilleeee ._.

Mum is still sick, I have to write a letter to my sister, two book reports to do, and like...4 or 5 of my finch eggs hatched. Things have just been haywire, hoping on updating either later today or tomorrow, but after that I have to take a break and get stuff done. I've got too much on my back and I really need to work through all of this. Procrastinating a little too much for my taste D:

Matt and Terri, plus some cousin I haven't seen since I was in my fetus form are supposed to be visiting this weekend. Don't get me wrong, I love my brother and all but I was hoping on seeing Villada this weekend and thanking him for being the only thing to look forward to lately x.X

Which reminds me, Halloween is coming up D: I'm already in the mood for crappy slasher films and overrated horror flicks. Last Halloween was freaking amazing, I can't compare this year but I will try, yes? '

"Its in the water baby, its in the pills that bring you down
Its in the water baby, its in your bag of golden brown
Its in the water baby, its in your frequency
Its in the water baby, its between you and me"
---Placebo---

"You're living like a disaster"

~Paperdollhorror — Thu, 17 Aug 2006 11:54:18 PDT

Mum is currently in the hospital, they're running tests but nobody knows what's wrong with her yet.

Depending on the results I might not be online/updating/around for a while.

This combined with other drama going on is getting too stressful to think straight, if I snap at you allow me to apologize in advance.

EDIT: Kidney infection. FIGURES But she's back now and doing a lot better than this morning

"I'm not afraid of screaming
and I'm not afraid of crying
I'm just afraid of forgetting
And I am afraid of dying"
-JOJ-

"The only way to fix it is to......"

~Paperdollhorror — Sat, 05 Aug 2006 14:51:34 PDT

"Flush it all away"

I'm sorry to have my first journal post on DA as a complaint. To tell you the truth, I really don't even consider this as a complaint.

This is not directed at any inparticular person, it would be impossible to do so. It's directed at the masses of flamers, spammers, and trolls.

In the last few weeks I've been on DA (reading other people's comments, journals, etc) I have noticed a lot of idiocy. There are some people here that obviously cannot function IRL or in any other social community. These are either the rejects or the "Divas" of their social circles. (Most likely the reject)

However, please understand that if you don't follow rules or proper etiquette you won't ever be able to convince people your IQ is anything above ....well, no, I guess I can't say that. I consider humans the lowest of the low. Basically; if you can't learn to behave yourself you won't be considered anything else but pathetic.

Most of this spam goes in circles, for ages, and numerously counting. I'm curious as to how much time these people have on their hands. I, being homeschooled and a smidge agoraphobic have no life what-so-ever (admitted) but even I lack the time for such atrocity.

Is the reason people join this site to be obscene behind a digital mask?

I for one, have been truly worried about the future of the human race for a while, but this is in the top ten of the stupidest things I've seen people do or even attempt.

Point being:
You fail at life.

Either learn to live with everybody else, or degrade and humiliate yourself and your ego until you realize...

Nobody cares.

"Some say the end is near.
Some say we'll see armageddon soon.
I certainly hope we will.
I sure could use a vacation from this"
---TOOL---