http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:PunkinCookie&section=today deviantART RSS for by:PunkinCookie en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Thu, 17 Dec 2009 21:56:11 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://PunkinCookie.deviantart.com/journal/23033070/ http://PunkinCookie.deviantart.com/journal/23033070/ Fri, 06 Feb 2009 02:30:12 PST
]]> ~PunkinCookie http://PunkinCookie.deviantart.com/journal/23032996/ http://PunkinCookie.deviantart.com/journal/23032996/ Fri, 06 Feb 2009 02:19:38 PST i would like to start submitting art, but i don't have a scanner or any of that crap, but i might put up a pic or 2 that i've taken on my dad's camera or my cell phone or..whatever. i'm really sorry to all who watched me. sorry i haven't put crap up and that i've been away for so long. hopefully, maybe, i'll be able to find a way to get some stuff up.

a lot of shit has been going on in my life lately. me and nathan..we aren't together right now...don't know if we'll be getting back together...that's gonna be up to whether or not he wants me back not gonna go into details on that. i'm just...really hurt by it at the moment and i really do miss him.

been having a lot of health problems that, again, i will not go into. if you are close to me and would like to know anything, you can send me a note if you'd like, doesn't bother me, but i'm not posting it on my journal what is wrong or what is going on.

too much stress and emotional problems going on. my parents decided to go out and get me a puppy. they think that she will help me cope with things and training her will help keep my mind off of certain things that are nearly breaking me. her name is lola and she is a 9 week old silver and tan mini dachshund. she is about 1 1/2 pounds at the moment. she was the runt of the litter. i feel bad that they decided to do that, but i do love her.

that's all i'm gonna post for now. again, sorry that i've been gone so long.

]]> ~PunkinCookie http://PunkinCookie.deviantart.com/journal/16395753/ http://PunkinCookie.deviantart.com/journal/16395753/ Sun, 13 Jan 2008 22:39:29 PST
My older sister and her husband are moved out now. They found themselves an apartment. I miss Mandy being here. It feels really different.

I've been playing my DS a lot lately. I haven't been able to sleep right, so a lot of my nights are spent reading or playing one of my games. That's the main part of my Christmas was DS games. I'll put a list of my games after I update.

I've been reading Narnia too. I've been wanting to read the stories, but haven't really had the chance to cuz I didn't have the book.

I've been rather depressed lately too. It's no fun. I ended up forgetting about my antidepressants and mood stabilizers for like...2 weeks, so I wasn't taking them, and they are out of my system again. SOOO I'm having bad thoughts again...and it's really bothering me. So, I'm trying to get myself back on that.

I was gonna update with something else, but I forget now. So, list of my games now.

Pokemon Diamond
Digimon World Dusk
DK Jungle Climbers
Diddy Kong Racing DS
Yoshi Island DS
Cooking Mama
The Legend of Zelda: Phantom Hour Glass
Super Mario 64 DS
Touch Detective
MySims
Inuyasha: Secret of the Divine Jewel

Oh, and if anyone has Pokemon Diamond or Pearl and have some Pokemon that they'd like to trade, I'm looking for people to trade with. Just let me know.

]]> ~PunkinCookie http://PunkinCookie.deviantart.com/journal/16213839/ http://PunkinCookie.deviantart.com/journal/16213839/ Tue, 01 Jan 2008 20:16:05 PST
]]> ~PunkinCookie http://PunkinCookie.deviantart.com/journal/16055440/ http://PunkinCookie.deviantart.com/journal/16055440/ Sun, 23 Dec 2007 08:45:19 PST
It's really windy outside. It was raining this morning. It's supposed to snow tomorrow, and we are SUPPOSED to have a white Christmas. I hope we do actually. Maybe that will help cheer me up just a little.

I have Dr. appointment tomorrow. I really hope the infection is gone. If I have to be put on more antibiotics, I'm gonna scream.

Nathan was planning on coming up to visit me for Christmas, but because of the weather, he didn't get to. But he said that he is gonna try to sometime after Christmas. I hope he can. i want to see him so bad.

I hope everyone has a very Merry Christmas, a Happy New Year, a Happy Holiday whichever you celebrate. I just hope you all have a good time.

Oh, and if anyone would like to trade Pokemon on Pokemon Diamond or Pearl or knows anyone who would like to, please let me know. I've been trying to get some of the Pokemon that I can't get on Diamond.

]]> ~PunkinCookie http://PunkinCookie.deviantart.com/journal/15861897/ http://PunkinCookie.deviantart.com/journal/15861897/ Sun, 09 Dec 2007 11:40:35 PST
Today is my 22nd birthday -.-;;; *sigh* I got my gifts from my mom and dad a couple weeks ago. I got the blue winter bear from Build-A-Bear Workshop and the Gorillaz D-Sides deluxe edition CD. I don't know if I'm gonna be able to go through with the plans that my mom and I had for my birthday or not though because bills came out sooner than they were supposed to and now we are in a money bind at the moment and hardly have any money to last us through the week My mom wanted to take me out to eat (though..I'm still having problems with eating. I'm doing a little better, but not much) and to a movie. And she was maybe gonna get me a drink from Starbucks (mmmmmm sugar free gingerbread tea).

Oh, I have a rat now too. Her name is Pooka. I'll have to get a pic or two to post up of her.

I'm back up in Ohio right now by the way. It's been snowing off and on. Raining off and on. I don't like the weather being so cold.

I really miss Nathan. Having a hard time being without him right now.

Oh, I went and saw Phantom of the Opera in theaters before I came back home. Greg got me a ticket and took me to see it when they were in Birmingham. I absolutely loved it.

I'm gonna end this right here cuz I don't know what else to say and I don't want to ramble on.

]]> ~PunkinCookie http://PunkinCookie.deviantart.com/journal/13810288/ http://PunkinCookie.deviantart.com/journal/13810288/ Fri, 20 Jul 2007 15:11:25 PDT
Doesn't help that ontop of all this, I don't feel like eating. I feel sick to my stomach. I ended up regressing yesterday again...I went down on my calorie intake, and I'm not supposed to do that. I'm supposed to be raising it. My mom is kinda worried about this though because I'm starting to develop a major phobia of food. I no longer crave any sorts of food. I used to walk past something and think "mmm, that might taste good" or "I would like to try that." But now I feel like I want to get as far away from it and I find myself thinking "Get it away from me...if I eat that, I'll gain weight." I don't know if I'm doing any better than I was or worse....

My fishie is sick too Poor little Faux. I think it's something to do with his swim bladder. Maybe an infection or something. It's making me a bit sad.

I'm leaving here in a little bit to walk over to Books-A-Million for the Harry Potter book release party. I reserved my copy, so I'm getting in line early before midnight to make sure I'm up towards the front of the line and hopefully I'll get my book tonight.

I don't really have much else to say....I'm kinda really upset.

]]> ~PunkinCookie http://PunkinCookie.deviantart.com/journal/13557373/ http://PunkinCookie.deviantart.com/journal/13557373/ Sat, 30 Jun 2007 22:07:05 PDT
They had frickin' Sonic, Shadow, Amy and Tails plushes there for prizes on one of the games...but the game was one my dad refused to do cuz you had to have so many people and had to win at the water thing >.<

Oh, I got a stuffed monkey before we left too lol. She is pink and has a banana on her tail and she can hook around my neck. I named her Kiki, the K and I are for King's Island lol.

I started my pill last night, and I've been really tired, nauseas and shit...The stupid stuff makes my whole body shake.

I'm gonna get off of here for now.

]]> ~PunkinCookie http://PunkinCookie.deviantart.com/journal/13530397/ http://PunkinCookie.deviantart.com/journal/13530397/ Thu, 28 Jun 2007 20:03:53 PDT
I don't feel too good at the moment. I'm feeling kinda sick to my stomach, and I hope it goes away before tomorrow.

I hope it doesn't storm tomorrow. I don't want the day to be ruined by fucking storms. I'm looking forward to going to King's Island.

I'm gonna go use the treadmill before I take a shower and go to bed. Just updating a bit.

]]> ~PunkinCookie http://PunkinCookie.deviantart.com/journal/13440179/ http://PunkinCookie.deviantart.com/journal/13440179/ Thu, 21 Jun 2007 23:53:05 PDT
I finally got me a copy of Pokemon Diamond. Makes me happy.

Not much is going on up here though. My parents are hoping to have enough money saved up to go to Kings Island at the end of this month.

]]> ~PunkinCookie http://PunkinCookie.deviantart.com/journal/13283634/ http://PunkinCookie.deviantart.com/journal/13283634/ Sat, 09 Jun 2007 21:59:50 PDT
I didn't go home this weekend cuz Greyhound fucking sucks, but I don't want to go into it right now.

I'm a bit moody at the moment, I feel really pissed off and everything seems to set me off...maybe I'll take a hot bath....

]]> ~PunkinCookie http://PunkinCookie.deviantart.com/journal/13136784/ http://PunkinCookie.deviantart.com/journal/13136784/ Tue, 29 May 2007 10:35:32 PDT
I put the pirate mood just because lol

]]> ~PunkinCookie http://PunkinCookie.deviantart.com/journal/13040011/ http://PunkinCookie.deviantart.com/journal/13040011/ Mon, 21 May 2007 15:34:08 PDT
]]> ~PunkinCookie http://PunkinCookie.deviantart.com/journal/13019481/ http://PunkinCookie.deviantart.com/journal/13019481/ Sat, 19 May 2007 23:15:40 PDT and Yoshi Island DS. I'M HAPPY! I FINALLY HAVE ONE! lol. I just feel dead tired, and don't feel all too well. My lips are chapped and my hands are so dry from working in the cold freezers and shit. Next weekend I'm going to the renaissance festival with Nathan's mom, sister and one of her friends. I'm looking forward to it, and I get to dress up.

I feel like just passing out right now...I'm so tired.

]]> ~PunkinCookie http://PunkinCookie.deviantart.com/journal/12790779/ http://PunkinCookie.deviantart.com/journal/12790779/ Mon, 30 Apr 2007 13:38:59 PDT
]]> ~PunkinCookie http://PunkinCookie.deviantart.com/journal/12782896/ http://PunkinCookie.deviantart.com/journal/12782896/ Sun, 29 Apr 2007 19:54:24 PDT . We looked at this house too. IT WAS FUCKING NICE!!! I loved the master bedroom and the bathroom in the master bedroom. We drove around more and then Nathan's dad was hungry so we stopped at Subway. I didn't want to eat anything, but he told me that he wouldn't leave until i did. So I got a salad consisting of lettuce, tomatoe, cucumber and carrots. No dressing. Didn't even eat it all. Then they took me home and I did dishes then went for a walk. After I got home, I checked a few things online, then around 7:30 Nathan got home with a friend from work. The guys wanted nachos, so we went to the store and bought nachos and things to make nacho cheese for them. I browned up some meat to put in it, and made the cheese for them. I've felt actually kinda depressed since after I got home. Around 8:30, i had another small salad, no dressing. I feel like I eat too much.....I hate myself, and I'm getting tired of dealing with all this. Nathan and his friend are playing on Nathan's Wii right now. I'm sitting here kinda spaced out. But yeah...I'm thinking about maybe reading a little bit or something. But yeah...don't even know why I started this journal....

]]> ~PunkinCookie http://PunkinCookie.deviantart.com/journal/12712852/ http://PunkinCookie.deviantart.com/journal/12712852/ Tue, 24 Apr 2007 03:14:03 PDT
Oh, just so everyone knows, I'm sorry if I don't respond to comments, my comment box is all fucked up for some reason and not showing me who commented on what when I go to my messages.

]]> ~PunkinCookie http://PunkinCookie.deviantart.com/journal/12696574/ http://PunkinCookie.deviantart.com/journal/12696574/ Sun, 22 Apr 2007 19:17:54 PDT
Yesterday, I got attacked by 2 spiders....One of them, I was sitting at the computer waiting for Nathan to get home, playing a game on Neopets. I laid my head down for a minute cuz I was feeling so weak and tired. I opened my eyes and there was a spider right infront of my face on the keyboard. I nearly screamed. The second one was when I was making a cup of hot tea. I turned around and a spider was hanging infront of my face.

I think I'm gonna go sit in the living room with Nathan for now...I seriously feel hurt.

]]> ~PunkinCookie http://PunkinCookie.deviantart.com/journal/12675389/ http://PunkinCookie.deviantart.com/journal/12675389/ Sat, 21 Apr 2007 02:38:09 PDT
Mine and Nathan's 2 year anniversay is on Tuesday. We might be going out to see a movie, and he said we can get some vanilla vodka to try since I don't like wine lol. I think I just prefer the stronger stuff, like vodka lol. I'm gonna see about getting a bottle of diet tonic water cuz I don't want to use anything that will mask the taste of the vodka.

I've been thinking about her again. The one person I made this account to try and forget. I've been having dreams that everything between us was the same as it used to be. That it was all better, but I know that will never happen. I've wanted to check her dA page just to see how she's doing, but I'm not gonna do that. I know she'll get pissed first off and it's just torture to me. Oh well. Life goes on I guess.

My heart is kinda feeling off again right now. I just don't feel right and I feel sick to my stomach. I think I might lay down here soon. I'm sitting here in the living room watching Nathan play Twilight Princess on his Wii. He's letting me use his laptop so I have something to do. But I think I'll try to sleep soon.

I'm still trying to convince my mom to let my little sis come down and visit for a week or so. I'm going home mid May, so we figured that she could come down early May and go home with me. But my mom is being real reluctant about it and won't give me an answer just yet.

Oh, and I took a walk today, some guy tried to pick me up on the side of the road o.O It freaked me out and I'm just glad there were other cars around cuz I don't know where my pepper spray went to.

]]> ~PunkinCookie http://PunkinCookie.deviantart.com/journal/12645503/ http://PunkinCookie.deviantart.com/journal/12645503/ Wed, 18 Apr 2007 17:14:43 PDT
I want to play Twilight Princess more, but Nathan wanted to play, so I'm not gonna keep him from it.

]]> ~PunkinCookie http://PunkinCookie.deviantart.com/journal/12633746/ http://PunkinCookie.deviantart.com/journal/12633746/ Tue, 17 Apr 2007 15:04:15 PDT
I don't have much to say at the moment. Nathan got ahold of a Wii yesterday.

I've still been feeling like shit, not wanting to eat. I almost cut myself yesterday...I'm glad I didn't though. I don't want to hurt Nathan.

I wish I had a job. I'm tired of wanting something and not being able to just...get something for myself every once in a while. But nobody will hire me because I'm inexperienced....Starting to piss me off...

I'm still exhausted. I'm either gonna go take a walk or lay back down....

]]> ~PunkinCookie http://PunkinCookie.deviantart.com/journal/12595308/ http://PunkinCookie.deviantart.com/journal/12595308/ Sat, 14 Apr 2007 16:55:24 PDT
My brother was in the ER last night. I was talking to my little sister online and she told me that he was at his friends house playing on a skateboard WITHOUT A HELMET and the skateboard flew out from under him and he hit his head on the concrete. He ended up getting sick like....5 times at his friends house so they called my mom who got off of work early to take him to the ER. They did a catscan and stuff, he's ok. He has a goose egg on the back of his head though. He shoulda been wearing a helmet -.- silly boy....

]]> ~PunkinCookie http://PunkinCookie.deviantart.com/journal/12572581/ http://PunkinCookie.deviantart.com/journal/12572581/ Thu, 12 Apr 2007 20:06:20 PDT
]]> ~PunkinCookie http://PunkinCookie.deviantart.com/journal/12535155/ http://PunkinCookie.deviantart.com/journal/12535155/ Tue, 10 Apr 2007 05:42:07 PDT
]]> ~PunkinCookie http://PunkinCookie.deviantart.com/journal/12519082/ http://PunkinCookie.deviantart.com/journal/12519082/ Mon, 09 Apr 2007 02:35:52 PDT I'm drinking some of the herbal peppermint tea now. But yeah. Since I was falling asleep on the couch, I laid down in Nathan's old room and slept for about an hour and a half to 2 hours. Then we headed over to Nathan's brother's for a bit, then headed to Wal-Mart before they closed because one of Nathan's headlights was out. I weighed myself also...at Nathan's parents. I've lost another 3 pounds or so. After we sat around and talked for a little longer, Nathan and I headed out.

But yeah...I still feel so tired...I want to sleep. I just slept for about an hour and then woke back up and can't get back to sleep. I'M SO TIRED! I WANT TO SLEEP!!!!!!!! *slams head*

GOD DAMNIT!!! *sips her tea*

I really want to quit eating.......

]]> ~PunkinCookie http://PunkinCookie.deviantart.com/journal/12502602/ http://PunkinCookie.deviantart.com/journal/12502602/ Sat, 07 Apr 2007 21:51:46 PDT
We had to move Faux to a different location in the room. His little betta tank was getting too cold. Was sitting at about 68 degrees. So we moved him to the lower part of my desk next to the computer tower. It's better now.

I feel exhausted, I have a headache. I want to hurt myself so bad. I want to talk to Nathan but I'm scared to. My mom asked me how I was doing today, and I told her everything, and she's really worried about me and made me promise I would get help if I felt I needed it. But they can't afford that. They are still paying off my hospitalization from a few years ago....Just too much pressure and stress right now. I can't stand the feelings that I'm feeling anymore. I keep snapping at stupid little things too....I was playing Zelda: Link to the Past, and if anything hit me, I screamed at it......I think I'm losing it....

]]> ~PunkinCookie http://PunkinCookie.deviantart.com/journal/12487999/ http://PunkinCookie.deviantart.com/journal/12487999/ Fri, 06 Apr 2007 19:59:50 PDT It makes me happy. Nathan thought that maybe it will help me out some, having something to take care of, and maybe it will help get my mind off of other things. I'm gonna ask Nathan if we can get a picture of him when the water in his tank cools down enough to where we can put him in it. I feel happy inside at the moment. I felt so good going into Petsmart and seeing him sitting there. All flared out and looking beautiful, like a phoenix. So, his name is Faux, cuz he make me think of a phoenix.

I'm gonna go finish making my dinner now. Hopefully my mood will stay happy like this for a bit.

]]> ~PunkinCookie http://PunkinCookie.deviantart.com/journal/12462787/ http://PunkinCookie.deviantart.com/journal/12462787/ Wed, 04 Apr 2007 21:02:55 PDT
But yeah, anyway. I was talking to my mom last night, and she told me that I'm an adult, I can make my own decisions. She's finally cutting me some slack. I got my state ID yesterday. An Alabama state ID, not an Ohio state ID. Now both of my sisters think that I'm never coming home and I know my older sister is pissed at me. That's not the case, I am coming home, in May. I'm coming back down in July because Nathan and I have a wedding to go to. I'm trying to get things set up with being a camp counselor in the beginning of July for the diabetic camp that I used to go to as a child. Been getting the run around lol. They finally called me this morning and gave me the number for the Diabetes Association of Dayton or something that I need to call. So I'll try to do that tomorrow or something.

I want to apologize for if I make typos or something or if I'm rambling or if things don't make since. Nathan let me make myself a small drink of apple flavored vodka and diet tonic water. So I'm a tiny bit tipsy. But yeah...I'm trying to calm myself down a little bit.

I haven't wanted to eat anything the past few days. I've felt like giving up. And I don't know what to do. I'm glad I have Nathan. He said he won't allow me to give up. I have just felt like dying lately. I want to go to sleep and never wake up. But then again I don't. I don't want to leave Nathan and everyone else I love behind. But I feel like I can't handle this shit anymore.

]]> ~PunkinCookie http://PunkinCookie.deviantart.com/journal/12419600/ http://PunkinCookie.deviantart.com/journal/12419600/ Sun, 01 Apr 2007 16:47:26 PDT cuz I've been wanting one. After that, I walked up to Comp-USA through busy traffic and people kept honking at me ¬¬;; Annoyed me...I'm nothing to honk at.....Then I walked around looking for something with caffeine until Nathan got off of work...got me a sugar free Bawls drink from Target. But I just don't feel good...and I don't want to take a nap...I want to be able to sleep tonight.

I'm still feeling really down, and Nathan asked me if I would be willing to look into herbal remedies for depression since I...kinda refuse to take pills...I was put on pills before, and I couldn't stand how they made me feel. So I stopped taking them. But yeah...I'm gonna go play Zelda to keep myself awake......

]]> ~PunkinCookie http://PunkinCookie.deviantart.com/journal/12376795/ http://PunkinCookie.deviantart.com/journal/12376795/ Thu, 29 Mar 2007 14:28:52 PDT
After talking to my mom a few days ago, she confronted me with the fact that she believes I'm either becoming anorexic or that I'm already anorexic. After looking through things....and crying my eyes out....I can't say I disagree with her....and it's scary. Ontop of that, my mom thinks that my bipolar depression disorder is only hurting things.....I feel like hell at the moment. I constantly feel like crying....

Over the past couple years, I've lost over 50 pounds. I struggled with being over weight as a teenager. I over ate...a lot...but I didn't realize it at the time. Now I've been deathly afraid of eating anything. Food seems like my enemy. Even drinking a glass of tea with 2 spoons of Splenda scares me...Even though it shouldn't. I drink a bottle of water and I feel like it's too much. I used to weigh just over 180. I think I weigh just under 130 now. I haven't been able to weigh myself in a few weeks which feels like torture to me. I'm obsessed with taking my walks, swimming and stuff like that. But i still feel so fat. I want to hurt myself every time I look in the mirror. I was looking at this information, and looking over t his list, I can see how many actually represent me....

Psychological

[X] * Distorted body image
[X] * Poor insight
[X] * Self-evaluation largely, or even exclusively, in terms of their shape and weight
[X] * Pre-occupation or obsessive thoughts about food and weight
[ ] * Perfectionism
[ ] * OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder)

Emotional

[X] * Low self-esteem and self-efficacy
[X] * Clinical depression or chronically low mood
[X] * Intense fear about becoming overweight
[X] * Moodiness or 'mood swings'

Interpersonal and social

[ ] * Poor or deteriorating school performance, however in some anoretics this is not present due to their perfectionistic tendencies
[X] * Withdrawal from previous friendships and other peer-relationships
[X] * Deterioration in relationships with the family

Physical

[ ] * Extreme weight loss
[ ] * Endocrine disorder, leading to cessation of periods in girls (amenorrhea)
[X] * Starvation symptoms, such as reduced metabolism, slow heart rate (bradycardia), hypotension, hypothermia and anemia
[ ] * Growth of lanugo hair over the body
[ ] * Abnormalities of mineral and electrolyte levels in the body
[X] * Zinc deficiency
[ ] * Often a reduction in white blood cell count
[X] * Reduced immune system function
[ ] * Body mass index less than 17.5 in adults, or 85% of expected weight in children
[ ] * Possibly with pallid complexion and sunken eyes
[ ] * Creaking joints and bones
[ ] * Collection of fluid in ankles during the day and around eyes during the night
[ ] * Constipation
[X] * Very dry/chapped lips due to malnutrition (*I have chapped lips, but not sure if it's from malnutrition*)
[ ] * Poor circulation, resulting in common attacks of 'pins and needles' and purple extremities
[ ] * In cases of extreme weight loss, there can be nerve deterioration, leading to difficulty in moving the feet
[X] * Headaches, due to malnutrition (*Again, headaches, but don't know if it's from malnutrition*)
[ ] * Thinning of the hair
[X] * Nails become more brittle
[X] * Constantly feeling "cold"

Behavioural

[X] * Excessive exercise, food restriction
[ ] * Fainting
[ ] * Secretive about eating or exercise behaviour
[X] * Possible self-harm, substance abuse or suicide attempts (*I've felt like hurting myself again....I've thought about taking pills to just make myself sleep.....and shit like that...I've just felt like dying but can't do that because of Nathan, my family and friends....though...the other night I took a lot of nyquil to just make myself sleep.....*)
[X] * Very sensitive to references about body weight
[X] * Become very angry when forced to eat "forbidden" foods balls


Some others may also represent me...but I just don't know at the moment. But yeah....I've hardly been eating. I want to just stop eating all together. Almost did the other day. I don't even eat 500 calories in one day. I'm scared to death of being over weight again. I don't even like admitting that I was over weight at one point. But I feel like even though I've lost all this weight and everything that I look really fat, really ugly. I hate my body, I hate myself. I've just felt like dying. I've had to start taking vitamins beca... ]]> ~PunkinCookie http://PunkinCookie.deviantart.com/journal/12151580/ http://PunkinCookie.deviantart.com/journal/12151580/ Mon, 12 Mar 2007 02:39:34 PDT
But yeah..my mom thinks that I might have started to dehydrate. I haven't really been able to drink much but sipping on some sprite zero and diet dr pepper since Monday. Yesterday I started to not feel very good. It started getting to the point that my heart would feel like it was racing, I feel week, thirsty, but couldn't get myself to drink much, really bad headache and sick to my stomach. I only ate once today and that was like...not even half a can of soup cuz i felt so sick to my stomach.

I'm cold though, so I'm gonna go curl up.

]]> ~PunkinCookie http://PunkinCookie.deviantart.com/journal/12104431/ http://PunkinCookie.deviantart.com/journal/12104431/ Thu, 08 Mar 2007 10:35:01 PST
SO! If I've said anything or commented on anything here recently, since around...Monday I guess...that just doesn't seem right, I'm very sorry.

]]> ~PunkinCookie http://PunkinCookie.deviantart.com/journal/12077522/ http://PunkinCookie.deviantart.com/journal/12077522/ Tue, 06 Mar 2007 07:07:55 PST
But yeah. Wanted to let everyone know that they are out and I"m doing ok. I'm gonna lay back down now.

]]> ~PunkinCookie http://PunkinCookie.deviantart.com/journal/12021568/ http://PunkinCookie.deviantart.com/journal/12021568/ Fri, 02 Mar 2007 02:19:51 PST
I've been having major self image issues again and i wish they would stop. I haven't really wanted to eat anything....I think today, well..yesterday...all I ate was a bowl of grits with a little bit of brown sugar (110 calories) for breakfast at 10 am, then I ate a can of reduced sodium chicken noodle soup (about 160 calories or so) for dinner at 7 pm, and then a 1/2 cup dried cereal for a snack cuz my bloodsugar dropped about 4 hours ago (55 calories). That's ALL I've had....It doesn't help that it hurts to eat anything anyway cuz of my jaw, but I just don't want to eat....

My friend, Rain(Jasmine) gave me flash, so I might be putting up NEW pics soon. If I can get myself to draw -.-

My mom ordered me a plush of Cinnamoroll, the Sanrio character. I love the Sanrio characters anyway, but Cinnamoroll is ADORABLE! Maybe I'll draw a pic of him.

But anyway..I took some pain meds a bit ago and they are kicking in and it's 4:20 am so I'm gonna lay down....maybe...

]]> ~PunkinCookie http://PunkinCookie.deviantart.com/journal/11928246/ http://PunkinCookie.deviantart.com/journal/11928246/ Thu, 22 Feb 2007 22:05:23 PST yay!

Well, I have some good news and some bad news. We are getting my wisdom teeth taken out. Nathan is gonna use his car payment money and pay for it since we can't find a place that will do some sort of payment plan. So he's paying and my parents are gonna pay him back monthly so he can pay his car payments. Greg and Jerry said they would help out initially so that Nathan isn't forking over so much of his money at once and he can pay them back. I feel bad, but at the same time..I feel loved. I've never had anyone care so much to do this for me and help me out I felt like crying earlier.

Bad news...I found out that nobody will put me under for the procedure because of my diabetes. It scares me so bad the thought of being awake.

I'm in so much pain right now it's not even funny. It kills me to eat when I have to eat. I've been trying to eat soup for dinner, oatmeal for breakfast and something like...sugar free jello or something like that in between.....

I'm still looking for Giga Pets if anyone has any or knows anyone that has any that no longer wants them. I'm also looking for a GameBoy Advance game. Hamtaro Ham Ham Heartbreak. I can't even find it used, and the prices on ebay get jacked up at the last minute too.

]]> ~PunkinCookie http://PunkinCookie.deviantart.com/journal/11889565/ http://PunkinCookie.deviantart.com/journal/11889565/ Tue, 20 Feb 2007 02:41:19 PST The bidding on the kitty was the last thing I bid on. So please, If you can help me out with trying to find these, It would be much appreciated.

Nathan is afraid that the pain killers they were having me take were hurting me. I've been sleeping a lot, and I guess I started crying out in my sleep earlier and Nathan woke me up. I don't remember it. I'm in a ....HELL of a lot of pain....Nathan and his mom are trying to find a place around here to take out my wisdom teeth. So...yeah.

I'm gonna lay down cuz the pain is really bad....

]]> ~PunkinCookie http://PunkinCookie.deviantart.com/journal/11862397/ http://PunkinCookie.deviantart.com/journal/11862397/ Sun, 18 Feb 2007 01:22:26 PST
I have to get a state ID so I can finish my interview with Kohl's. I let them know I was in the process, so hopefully they'll wait long enough for me to get my birth certificate and stuff so I can finish my interview and hopefully get a job.

Nathan is taking me out to eat tomorrow. Gonna try sushi for the first time in my life lol. It's my late Valentine's Day gift from him.

Sorry that I still haven't put up any of my deviations

]]> ~PunkinCookie http://PunkinCookie.deviantart.com/journal/11788170/ http://PunkinCookie.deviantart.com/journal/11788170/ Mon, 12 Feb 2007 16:25:22 PST Hangovers are no fun....lol. I got drunk last night for the first time. I've drank a little before, got a bit tipsy, but I passed out at the dinner table last night >.< I've had vodka and tonic before, the same amount that I drank last night, and it only made me tipsy. I had 2 glasses of vodka and tonic and a small shot of mandarin sake. Nathan and Greg said I was acting funny. This was around....7-7:30 is? lol I can't remember. I passed out , can't remember anything after I got my salad. I woke up near midnight with a horrible headache. Now I still have a headache and I feel so tired. All I want to do is sleep. My body temp is acting all funny too. I keep getting hot and cold. And my bloodsugar won't stay up worth shit...lol.

Oh, and my puppy now has a name. His name is Keihi. It's japanese for cinnamon. The little hearts on him make me think of the cinnamon hearts they put out for Valentine's day. So that's his name.
::END EDIT::

WELLLLLLLLL!!!!! I'm going on very little sleep! lol I've been having MAJOR problems getting to sleep then staying asleep. Well, last night, Nathan had to go to bed around midnight cuz he had to be at work at 8 this morning before class. I laid there until...maybe somewhere near 3 am, finally fell asleep. Woke up maybe not even 2 hours later with a start. I was scared out of my mind! Nathan had kissed me on the forehead and I didn't even recognize him for a minute o.o Then I laid there...couldn't get back to sleep. So I've been awake ever since. Tried to get back to sleep, but couldn't. So I got up, ate breakfast, got a shower and went on a walk to Publix to price things for dinner.

I've been so...edgy and jumpy and...HYPER! all day lol. Nathan and Greg told me I seemed like I was drunk, all bouncing around and stuttering on my words, not able to sit still and such.

I have an interview with Kohl's on Thursday at 4:15 pm. Hopefully this interview will go better then the last.

I have a new little friend, he needs a name though. He was my Valentine's Day gift from my parents. He's a little puppy dog, a dalmation. He has black ears, a red heart spot over his left eye, a little black collar and hearts on his back paws.

AND OMG! I HAVE FOUND A NEW LOVE! Well, tea that is. Celestial Seasoning's Chocolate Caramel Enchantment Chai Tea!!! OMG! IT'S LIKE I'M HAVING A CHOCO-GASM IN MY MOUTH!!!!! If you like tea, you should try it! SERIOUSLY!!! I get the chocolate flavor I've been craving with no calories!!!

OH! And I bought alcohol for the first time since I turned 21 XD I've had alcohol, but hadn't bought any. I bought some sake earlier lol. FUN!!!!!

Ok!!!! I'm gonna end this now....cuz...I feel weird from lack of sleep!!!!

OH! And I made me an icon finally It's Punkin', my puppy dog fursona, with a cookie in her mouth lol. PUNKINCOOKIE!!!!!

Edit:
Hopefully this will show up...lol...

IT'S MY PUPPY!!! But he needs a name. I don't want to call him Spot...

[link]

If the image shows, I cut the heart off of him lol. meh, just click the link lol

]]> ~PunkinCookie http://PunkinCookie.deviantart.com/journal/11742013/ http://PunkinCookie.deviantart.com/journal/11742013/ Thu, 08 Feb 2007 23:59:28 PST
I've felt really moody lately too. I keep snapping at people and get into a really bad mood easily I don't know why I've been feeling this way. It's like....little things keep setting me off, and I feel really bad.

I've been looking for a temporary job, and so far it hasn't been too good. I've only heard back from one place, and I guess they wouldn't hire me because I don't have any past work experience. Well, poo to them. Oh well, I guess I have to go against the way I think and apply for fast food =/ bah!

I went without strips last night until like...9 this morning. I ran out, still waiting for the check from my mom to get here so I can buy more, so I only had what little bit was left in my one bottle. I ran out, so Nathan went to Walgreen's to pick up more. They didn't have any of the ones I needed. So, he went to the other side of Huntsville to see if the other Walgreen's had any...They didn't have a 24 hour pharmacy. I felt so bad. So, I think I went low a couple of times in the middle of the night, but was too afraid to do anything about it because I didn't know if I was low or not. Where I've been feeling weak, I can't tell if I'm low or just dizzy and tired. So I ended up having weird dreams of me being pregnant and others of this huge guy trying to chase me down and cook me and eat me o.O it was....odd to say the least.

Nathan took me to Books-A-Million today. The bigger one. He had given me the gift card he had in his wallet for $20 because he said I would get more use out of it. So I got the Socrates in Love manga that I fell in love with over the summer. Couldn't find the novel of it though. I might just have to order that online somewhere. And I got a Tamagotchi Connection. They were 50% off, so it was $10. Ended up totaling $19.40 with the discount card that Nathan's mom has.

I want to say thanks again to everyone who has re-added me to their watchlist. I really do appreciate it, I'm just really sorry I haven't gotten anything up. If anyone wants to help me out with a new icon though, it would be MUCH appreciated. I was wanting to make a small one of Punkin' (my dog fursona) with a cookie, but...I can't seem to get things to work in paint like I used to. I guess it's cuz I haven't used it in so long. *shrugs*

]]> ~PunkinCookie http://PunkinCookie.deviantart.com/journal/11660609/ http://PunkinCookie.deviantart.com/journal/11660609/ Fri, 02 Feb 2007 15:02:35 PST
I will be uploading some of my old deviations from WolfOfDeath, but not all of them because there are some I no longer wish to have in my gallery because I want to forget certain things.

I have many different fursonas which you will see through out my deviations.

Thank you for either looking at my stuff for the first time or re-watching me.

Edit:
WELL! I've now added all 110 people back to my watch list that are still on dA lol. Took me a bit because I had to look everyone up and make sure they were still deviants and make sure that I was spelling the name right lol.

I need to either make or find me an icon for this account and make myself an ID. Then I'm gonna go through my old gallery and find which ones I'm gonna put on here, and then make it where nobody can see the ones I have on there. A lot of work lol. Oh well. I'll find time to do it.

Oh, and thanks everyone who has continued to watch me

]]> ~PunkinCookie