http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:R-I-P-mysweetlove&section=today deviantART RSS for by:R-I-P-mysweetlove en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Sat, 19 Dec 2009 23:34:51 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://R-I-P-mysweetlove.deviantart.com/journal/14911072/ http://R-I-P-mysweetlove.deviantart.com/journal/14911072/ Thu, 04 Oct 2007 10:40:30 PDT
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]]> ~R-I-P-mysweetlove http://R-I-P-mysweetlove.deviantart.com/journal/14791563/ http://R-I-P-mysweetlove.deviantart.com/journal/14791563/ Tue, 25 Sep 2007 19:17:22 PDT
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]]> ~R-I-P-mysweetlove http://R-I-P-mysweetlove.deviantart.com/journal/14766930/ http://R-I-P-mysweetlove.deviantart.com/journal/14766930/ Mon, 24 Sep 2007 02:48:11 PDT
we had our troubles including our first fight but we both admitted our wrongs and moved forward from it all our next argument was over something my mum had said, we didnt sort that one out, inevitably this resulted in our break up, there were alot of reasons but i have more to type and im gettin tired of it, i spent a fair bit of money on lindt chocolates and a sterling silver bracelet for her birthday on monday 17th september 2007, our troubles ended in a break up on wednesday 19th september 2007, two days after that would have meant we were together for 2 months and it would almost be a year if we never broke up, it feels like its been so much longer since we broke up cause im kind of over it alot more than i should be and ive moved on, the problem is its not exactly moving on because i love renae again but she doesnt want me, i am such a train wreck i dont blame anyone for not wanting me, as family, as a friend, as a relationship, well thats it for now i just wanna say, renae no matter what you feel i love you xx

]]> ~R-I-P-mysweetlove http://R-I-P-mysweetlove.deviantart.com/journal/14766874/ http://R-I-P-mysweetlove.deviantart.com/journal/14766874/ Mon, 24 Sep 2007 02:35:13 PDT
25th september 2006: i was at my mate alex's house when i just couldn't take the feeling anymore so i texted angie asking her to call, but when she did i lost all my confidence so i asked alex to yell out "will you go out with shane?" and he did, there was a silence and i said "well?" and she said "i guess, is that what you want?" and i told her that i wasn't confident and i got alex to for me and that is when angie and i started going out, not long after ben finnaly moved on his feelings and asked her but he was to late and that is what caused our falling out, we then began our resentment towards each other and have continued and grown on that since.

angie and i shared many memorable moments including heaps of visits to rollerway and times at her house, her dads birthday, not the best memory but still an ok one and the christmas eve party, these are all memories that please me but are not what keeps me awake at night or gets me through when times get rough.

February 2nd 2007: angie and i spoke, she broke up with me over the phone, i was so broken, she wouldnt tell me wh yand at this point i still didnt know why renae broke up with me so i started to feel worse but it wasnt the break up that hurt the most, it was what then happened.

february 8th 2007: angie and ben started going out, this was not yet news to anyone but when i did find out i was so depressed over it that i went even more hardcore with my wrist slitting and this was not the only reason but it is the only reason i am willing to share.

february 14th 2007: VALENTINES DAY---- ouch, by this time i knew about angie and ben and i was so heart broken that anyone who offered there help i accepted and everyone was so mean to angie, but i didnt care, she had hurt me so i wanted to upset her, i recieved a txt saying "not jealous are you?" from angie's best friend kim, i later was told that angie had sent it from kim's phone, i was even more hurt.

there was alot being said to and from angie and ben just said to piss me off, i tried to re-connect my friendship with ben but that was a failure, i then decided that i wasn't just going to give up and let him win so i started my cunning ways of getting her back, eventually it worked.

april 24th 2007: after all atempts to get ben to dump her angie finnally relised that it just wasnt going to work so she dumped him instead and i was all like yessssssss :woot: but then i relised that she didnt want to be with me straight away even though she cheated on ben like 5 times with me, she said she needed a month b4 she would be with me.

we acted like we were together even though we wernt, when the month was almost over i got a txt from her sayin that she was sorry she just didnt love me anymore, i was so hurt that i peaked at my wrist-slitting emo-core stage where i have most of my scars from, then all of my female friends and many of my male friends started to hate angie, and the abuse got worse, i wasnt talking to her, i couldnt bare to see her i made friends that angie didnt like but i didnt care, i was one riteous asshole but i decided to give her one chance to say sorry, explain why she did it, that was when i discovered the truth, it was a lie, the txt was a lie and i was even more hurt, more hurt, more cuts, more scars, but i forgave her, and we got closer, i went out with a 16 yr old named bianca, we skrewed, but i was so depressed one night that i went walking, and it was so stormy and rainy but i walked, i walked at least ten kilometers and i was drenched, i was around the corner from angie's house, i called from a pay phone, her mum said i could stay there coz it was like 1 30 am and i was soaked, i went, warmed up and stayed,... ]]> ~R-I-P-mysweetlove http://R-I-P-mysweetlove.deviantart.com/journal/14766431/ http://R-I-P-mysweetlove.deviantart.com/journal/14766431/ Mon, 24 Sep 2007 01:02:42 PDT .

fun run 2006: despite my utter heart break and embarrassment i wanted to know if Renae liked me or not as i clearly liked her, i asked one of my friends to ask her out for me, the response i got was "she will only answer if you ask her yourself"... i was so nervous at the aspect of asking her out i was shaking like hell but i really wanted to be with her so i and my friend approached Renae and her friend Lucinda, i asked Renae if she would go out with me but Lucinda interrupted and said that i didn't do it right and i had to say it with passion, this did not help with the nerves, so i asked again, this time trying to ignore my nervousness, she said yes, , i was so happy at that moment but i was scared that the past would repeat itself so i was cautious at first but as i started to get more attached i began to believe that she did love me and we would work out.

about halfway through our relationship: Renae told me that she had thought about breaking up with me but changed her mind and i was sad by the fact that she thought about it but happy that she didn't, this day was the first day of my life that i intentionally cut myself, i used a piece of glass at a bus stop and ran it across my wrist, it was only lightly but it bled for about ten minutes.

2 months 1 week and two days after the fun run: i was in my classroom before school started when one of Renae's friends came up to the window and told me that Renae was breaking up with me and that it was over, i cried in the classroom that morning and i was so hurt but i couldn't be mad and i wanted to know why she did it so i tried to walk with her after school but she tried to avoid me, i eventually caught up with her and we spoke but i didn't find out why she broke up with me at all, i was so hurt that inevitably i cut again but this time it was worse and it was becoming more frequent. after the events occurred i became a real asshole to Renae and did some things i regret, e.g. stole and broke her padlock to symbolize what she did to my heart, and hacked her ed cube, i regret these and all other acts of what i may have considered revenge at the time and i forever apologize for them.

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