http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:Rape-me&section=today deviantART RSS for by:Rape-me en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Sun, 06 Dec 2009 04:13:09 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://Rape-me.deviantart.com/journal/5077643/ http://Rape-me.deviantart.com/journal/5077643/ Wed, 13 Apr 2005 11:23:37 PDT And I’m lying here
So blue, so grey
Maybe tomorrow I’ll change
I don’t know
But somehow this tomorrow day
I think will never come to take me away... ]]> ~Rape-me http://Rape-me.deviantart.com/journal/5056864/ http://Rape-me.deviantart.com/journal/5056864/ Mon, 11 Apr 2005 02:12:57 PDT the anarchy flies... ]]> ~Rape-me http://Rape-me.deviantart.com/journal/4676528/ http://Rape-me.deviantart.com/journal/4676528/ Sat, 26 Feb 2005 09:59:51 PST ~Rape-me http://Rape-me.deviantart.com/journal/2517138/ http://Rape-me.deviantart.com/journal/2517138/ Wed, 26 May 2004 21:21:36 PDT now i sitting in a library, and writing this stuff. eh.....
i wrote ]]> ~Rape-me http://Rape-me.deviantart.com/journal/2241367/ http://Rape-me.deviantart.com/journal/2241367/ Sat, 17 Apr 2004 09:54:49 PDT Suddenly I realize that I have no where to go... I looked around and I saw that I was standing in the middle of crossroad. There were four roads to take, and how should I guess which one is right or wrong? How to make right move and not to fell down?
1 road: I see people, people without faces, without individuality, and no one cares if they lost there soul, no one cares being a slave of this life.
2 roads: I see the church, and I’m happy, finally I find the right place, and suddenly I see how the horns are growing. It’s not a house of the god anymore, there I won’t be able to get help and understanding, no one will give me his hand. I’m dispread...
3 road: it’s very dark there, very dark... instead of the ground there is fear, I hardly can see the several people who try to fight, who chose the hardest road, which is unbearable. I see a person who tries to, reach the sun, he almost there, the have to make just few steps, but he can do that. He fells on his knees, now the pain is twice bigger, and he screams, tears are felling from eyes, he has no power to move. And he dies.
I was crying because of what I have seen. Now I doubt in everything.
4 road: in the end of the road I see a room. There is a girl, she is sitting on the chair, she’s crying. She is looking at someone’s picture, than she grabs it and holds it right next to her heart. Her eyes were telling all her pain, sadness, and hopelessness...
She takes a knife and cuts her veins. Blood was coming like a waterfall, her eyes were opened. Picture falls down, and suddenly it was covered with her blood…
After all I have seen I’m terrified and sacred. I don’t know what is the hope anymore. Thoughts in my head are confusing me, making me mad. I no longer want to live; I lost my passion, my dream. I’m looking for the light, which will guide me, help me. I’m only 15 years old and I want to die. It seems to me, that the day I was born, I lost the yearn towards the life. I WAS BORN DEAD. I’m afraid of every day that comes. I’m afraid of myself. I don’t know for what should I live, to whom it will be pleasant, to whom I’m necessary don’t know.
I lost the religion when I was 13. I lost my hope, the holiness; I’m losing my friends and MYSELF.
I will reach the aim; I will not be the shadow anymore, but all this is just a word that means nothing anymore. I can’t change everything I am, the world and the battle in my head for survival. I let myself to die.
I'm confused. And I'm very tired of life, of lies, of people and I'm tired of MYSELF. And I want to die… ]]> ~Rape-me