http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:Razekiel&section=today deviantART RSS for by:Razekiel en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Thu, 26 Nov 2009 09:50:12 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://Razekiel.deviantart.com/journal/28117949/ http://Razekiel.deviantart.com/journal/28117949/ Tue, 03 Nov 2009 01:53:28 PST
That just sucks.

Sorry for the rant, 'm just pissed that it takes me much fucking longer to draw on paper what takes me like a minute or two to draw on whiteboard.

Fuck that.

]]> ~Razekiel http://Razekiel.deviantart.com/journal/28098131/ http://Razekiel.deviantart.com/journal/28098131/ Sun, 01 Nov 2009 23:23:49 PST
It happened last Wednesday. I once again rode in the same jeep with this beautiful stranger who i rode with twice before.This time she sat across me. Or rather, I sat across her, on purpose. Funny thing. When I was on my way to the jeepney station, I was wishing I'd see her again. Lo and behold- I was queued up- and she was a couple of people in front of me. As usual, she was with her mom (or aunt, or naighbor, I dunno).

She's got a really cute smile. I wonder if she noticed me. Hell, I wonder if she remembers my face. Maybe not. You don't really bother remembering uninteresting people, anyway. IF she does remember me, it could be as "the headband wearing fag playing a pink PSP."

When we got down at circle... I noticed... she's actually taller than me by a couple or so inches. Damn.

Maybe she's a member of their varsity. Or a part-time model. Maybe she already has a boyfriend who's taller than she is. Closer to her age, too.

Sucks to be old. O well.

Sigh.

Beautiful stranger...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I worked on a couple of watercolor paintings for an exhibit on the 20th, in Greenhills. Wilson Street. If anyone wants to attend, note me.

Special thanks to for inviting me to join the exhibit.




]]> ~Razekiel http://Razekiel.deviantart.com/journal/27985235/ http://Razekiel.deviantart.com/journal/27985235/ Mon, 26 Oct 2009 19:48:12 PDT
Think about it.

I bet that a lot of the modern day "Moe" artists looked up to Miyazaki when they were younger. Miyazaki's girls, in spite of their strong character, do have the physical appearance of what you could consider cute and "loli".

But they took the cuteness further, focusing more on the physical aspects, made the eyes bigger to give more character *coughbullshitcough*, but in the process, left little space for their brains.

It's like how many superhero artists of today were influenced by 50's artists such as Frazetta, Wood, Hogarth. They buffed up the guys a bit more, gave them tinier heads. Superheroines grew silicon implants and removed a few ribs.

I guess the more an artist "beautifies" the physical aspect of his character work, the more it begins to lack depth. On the other hand, if he were to try and balance out his character's beauty by making his character perfect concept-wise, he ends up with a Mary Sue.

You should never aim for perfection.

I guess.

Hahaha

]]> ~Razekiel http://Razekiel.deviantart.com/journal/27969488/ http://Razekiel.deviantart.com/journal/27969488/ Sun, 25 Oct 2009 22:13:57 PDT
The first time 'round, a couple of weeks back, I sat across her. I couldn't help myself from taking glances at her every so often. Her face is like Tekken's Asuka with a slightly squarer lay-out and thicker eyebrows. But the eyes! The cattish, upturned strong-type eyes! Her hair was cut short, slightly below chin level with side swept bangs. She had a beautiful profile as well.

It's a face I could never forget.

When I sat beside her this morning I noticed she was rather leggy for a Filipina. Her knees almost reached up to mine. Her build was kinda like Soul Calibur's Cassandra, but maybe a cupsize smaller. Long legs and arms that were well-filled out, not skinny, not too thick, just right, medium built but lengthy.

When we got down at Circle... I couldn't tell if she was my height, slightly shorter or taller. But she is tall for a south-east Asian girl.

O well.
There she goes. And like the last time she was commuting with I dunno, her mom? Aunt?

She looks like a college student.

Damn, I think I can just draw her face.

It's not that hard to forget.



Wonder if I'll see her again.

]]> ~Razekiel http://Razekiel.deviantart.com/journal/27951093/ http://Razekiel.deviantart.com/journal/27951093/ Sat, 24 Oct 2009 23:32:06 PDT
Give me a vision, o muses.

]]> ~Razekiel http://Razekiel.deviantart.com/journal/27912481/ http://Razekiel.deviantart.com/journal/27912481/ Thu, 22 Oct 2009 19:23:08 PDT


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

List of characters I'd like to see as action figures.

1. Cassandra from Soul Calibur. If Neca can make one, they better make her fully poseable. I like Neca's sculpt better when it comes to faces. If not Neca, then Figma. At the risk of Cassandra lookinf flat-faced though.

2. Plu or Plu Two from Gundam ZZ. Figma, maybe.

3. Nightmare from Soul Calibur. Neca.

4. Astaroth.

5. Sniper Wolf. A better one than the doll they made.

]]> ~Razekiel http://Razekiel.deviantart.com/journal/27895960/ http://Razekiel.deviantart.com/journal/27895960/ Wed, 21 Oct 2009 19:39:01 PDT
Anatomy is fun. Sometimes I just doodle skeletons and bones to attach muscles to layer by layer. They're not neat though, just rough. As long as I keep my anatomy memory in check.

It's like mixing Rubik's cube with Lego. Anatomy, that is.

I often wish I could go back in time somehow and slap my 16-year-old self on the face with a book on anatomy. Or even Loomis.

Learning things a bit late takes a toll on you, especially since the years to the end of your life are counting down. Whenever I play Soul Calibur Broken Destiny on my PSP, I try to study Siegfried's moves. I wonder how the hell he switches stances so quickly during attacks. I better look that up. Another character I'm trying to learn is Cassandra. She's pretty easy to use until I'm faced with a really good Cassandra AI. And it makes me think, if I can't beat the AI what more pro players out there?

Which is why I play for fun. I have a friend who bugs me once in a while to practice Street Fighter so I can learn fighting game basics better, plus it's the in thing in arcades right now. I'm not really that social though. Nor am I trendy. Street Fighter's 2-d spatial movement doesn't entertain me- even if I will learn quicker reflexes. Too much to do in life. I'm happy learning Tekken and Soul Calibur, anyway. Besides, I'm too old to go "pro".

Tekken and Soul Calibur (both Namco) have pretty good character designs - in spite of Ivy's breasts becoming larger in the artwork of every sequel, and Cassandra having her eyebrows plucked in the latest installment and becoming more like a girl (ew)- I praise Namco for making characters who look like individuals.

I do not give praise however, to Tetsuya Nomura of Squaresoft. In spite of his pretty-pretty designs, he's as bad as the designer of Gundam Seed, only more "realistic". Sorry Square fans, but yep.

Namco has glamourized, heroically-proportioned, beautiful characters, yet they retain a mundane feeling. Square? Or rather, Nomura? It's all just surface. Manufactured. It's as if his characters have come out of the same assembly line.

I've also seen the graphics in that fighting game of Square where all the FF characters are. In spite of it's gloriously beautiful detail, the faces are flat! the eyeballs look painted on, they don't appear to be in sockets. On the other hand, Tekken and SCD have less-glamorous, even rougher graphics, yet the eyes are quite charming and 3-dimensional.

In spite of the number of pretty artist girls out there- Jo Chen, Alodia, etc. who draw characters, and sometimes, dynamic figures. I rarely encounter one who really does dynamic works really well. And even if they do dynamic work, the focus still tends to be the fashion of the characters, or their good looks. And I dunno, the pop anime style is too rampant among female kind, unless they're painter types, but then again painter types sometimes are too "sophisticated" that anything remotely geeky or action-packed can be somewhat a turn off.

I want a girl who can draw dynamic figures. Scenes of dragons versus barbarians. Muscles. Pictures that tell stories. Guys who look like guys. Women who look healthy and aren't taken off the fashion runway. A girl who's like a female version of Frank Frazetta. Lol.

More on the action, less on the fashion! Yeah. I want a Namco girl, not a Square-Enix girl.

More on the action, less on the fashion. That's also a personal goal of mine as an artist. I'm getting tired of being limited to drawing just standing characters. I will break free and I will make pictures that actually say something.

]]> ~Razekiel http://Razekiel.deviantart.com/journal/27882657/ http://Razekiel.deviantart.com/journal/27882657/ Wed, 21 Oct 2009 02:36:33 PDT [link] ) still gets attention once in a while. Looking back at those times makes me laugh.

I can't deny that there are times that I wish I was good looking though. I'm a bit immature that way. Maybe no one really does fully grow up. Or maybe, growing up must be being in control of whatever negative forces reside within one's soul and thoughts.

I've been watching Gundam Double Zeta lately, and learned first hand how sucky the character designs of Seed are. Old Gundam's character designs had much more personality in them. No one looks alike.

Another thing I've noticed. Gundam Seed uses more "recycled" animation when it comes to fight scenes. Wing, too. Double Zeta's combat scenes seem fresh every episode.


These days, many artists use the term "style" as a poor excuse for not being able create variation within their preferred style. Or maybe it's part of that growing trend in pop culture- it seems everyone wants to look alike. This must be why Asian pop groups are a pet peeve of mine. They take the meaning of "manufactured" to a whole new level.

Hahahaha! Mary Sue. My imperfections are both a bane and a boon. A bane in a sense I'm not the handsome-athletic-artistic renaissance man, but a boon being I'm not a Mary Sue in that sense. Ironic. Being perfect is good, but somehow being imperfect is better because you have something to strive for.

Going back to Gundam Double Zeta: Another thing which makes the combat scenes nice is that the protagonists are either at par with the enemy, or even weaker than the enemy. You don't have the good guy blasting armies of enemies away easily with a one-shot powerful beam rifle. Or that cheesy multiple-targeting system that doesn't kill anyone.

]]> ~Razekiel http://Razekiel.deviantart.com/journal/27679656/ http://Razekiel.deviantart.com/journal/27679656/ Sat, 10 Oct 2009 02:17:23 PDT
The storm left many shattered lives in its wake.

The storm was a force to be reckoned with. A force that caught us all by surprise.

We all experience storms in our lives. Not all storms are on the outside though. Some are raging deep within the recesses of our very souls- deep within the bowels of our minds. As goes with war.

Life is short. We are of insignificant compared to the wonders of the infinite cosmos. Yet knowing this, we continue to waste our lives, living in debauchery, sin, killing our neighbors, destroying what remains of this feeble planet. We hurt, we get hurt, we brood. Some of us heal, others are scarred for life. Some of us search for redemption, while others continue without conscience. Some of us are forgiven, yet some of us are not.

I lost a lot of things to storms. Both those inside and out. In the physical realm. I lost my Norman Rockwell Illustrator book, which is pretty much an antique. The Tornado's Path (ironic) graphic novel. dozens of Magic trading cards. Comics.

Well.

The storm inside? I guess I'm learning to let go of things like hatred, anger. Guilt will be next. But yeah.

Too much in life to look forward too, why get stuck. Others have it worse.

]]> ~Razekiel http://Razekiel.deviantart.com/journal/27238699/ http://Razekiel.deviantart.com/journal/27238699/ Wed, 16 Sep 2009 01:53:55 PDT exhibit thingie at the Animation Festival thingie in SM TayTay.

So, if you want to learn some tips on anatomy, and stuff. Feel free to attend. It is far though...

Check out this link fior details. [link]

]]> ~Razekiel http://Razekiel.deviantart.com/journal/26905947/ http://Razekiel.deviantart.com/journal/26905947/ Sat, 29 Aug 2009 23:16:56 PDT
]]> ~Razekiel http://Razekiel.deviantart.com/journal/26865766/ http://Razekiel.deviantart.com/journal/26865766/ Thu, 27 Aug 2009 21:15:30 PDT
]]> ~Razekiel http://Razekiel.deviantart.com/journal/26848847/ http://Razekiel.deviantart.com/journal/26848847/ Thu, 27 Aug 2009 02:09:16 PDT
An artist who is not flexible enough to meet various client's needs is one who is headed towards a downfall in his career- one may say. Of course, the solution to not being able to adapt would be to look for another job. After all, with the myriad of styles out there that are of "appreciative" level - there should be at least a small niche market for each.

But- when you're in a country like the Philippines, appealing only to the niche market is like a self-imposed death sentence. Why? This country is a small one. So small when it coms to trends in arts and fashion, the Filipinos possess a certain "hive mind", no matter what class you belong to, due to "upward" emulation.

Of course, being affected by trends in this manner is not a local phenomenon, but rather an obviously worldwide one. Why then would other countries franchise reality TV shows like Top Model and Survivor, right?

What's nice about larger countries though, is that their "counterculture" art styles have a relatively larger market as well. In Europe, for instance. Or even in the US. How many issues of Heavy Metal have I picked up where in some stories were illustrated with rather simple, minimally-detailed art styles? Some were even rougher than mine.

So now, I face an "artistic crisis" of sorts. I've held maybe two designer/illustrator and two apprentice/trainee jobs in my life. That's around four jobs in the past 6 years. I risk losing what I have right now unless I can program my brain to like doing highly-detailed, ornamental pieces. Something I never really was into.

Tribal designs, collages, Mucha-inspired compositions and the like. Feathers, petals, vines, frills, lace and twisting lines, clutter. I get headaches even just trying to conceptualize shit like this. The problem is, this is the "in" thing when it comes to local - and even worldwide design.

That's where I fail as an artist maybe. I can do compositions, but I don't have the obsession with filling every space there is with the minutest detail. As sexist as I may sound, I don't have that "feminine" touch that usually accompanies skill like this.

I lack that taste for glamour. A sense of fashion as well, perhaps. Personally, I think there's just too much a clamor for glamour - pardon the rhyme- in the world today.

With the advent of graphics technology, the modern artist is able to exploit every means there is of creating pieces that scream for attention. "Hey, look I'm here!"

It is normal for one to boldly illustrate every nook and cranny of his work, use the proper filters enhance it, even. I'm actually amazed at how their brains can handle such an amount of information. Mine can't. Not all the time, at least. But most of the time, I'd be happy being able to draw figures with life. Movement. Organic anatomy. The costumes don't have to be so stylish and eloquent as those seen on MMORPGs like MU or Ragnarok. That's just me.

And that me is the reason why I know I'll never be famous, or appreciated on a mass-level scale. Back then it's what I wanted. Now? I'd just like to be happy doing what I know I am good at, without having to get headaches. Without having to stare blankly at a screen for hours. Or resorting to vice because my mind is having difficulty handling the task on hand.

I can never emulate artists who came before me, or artists who are setting the trends that sell. It's just not me. I don't even admire that many artists myself these days. I do, but I'm no longer a fanboy of sorts. Even of Frazetta. Admiration for someone else's skill and technique usually dies out for me after weeks, or even months.

"Ohh, cool, wish I could do that" today. and "So? What?" tomorrow. It's something I've developed over the years, and it helps me not get too "emo" over someone's abilities.

It's an irony these days that sometimes, people will want you to stand out by emulating someone who is already there or established. It's like highschool again. I remember not wanting to dress in hip-hop fashion, and this caused me to be an outcast.

All I know is this. Maybe, art really isn't my calling. If I'm not able to come up with good designs tonight, I guess I'll just have to look for another line of work. Maybe I'll have more peace of mind that way.

It may seem negative, but it really isn't. These days, I've learned to live life on a gambling basis. Come what may, come what may. I wonder if I can be a writer instead.

]]> ~Razekiel http://Razekiel.deviantart.com/journal/26726719/ http://Razekiel.deviantart.com/journal/26726719/ Fri, 21 Aug 2009 03:43:53 PDT
I wish that I'll have a band by the end of the year. And that my mom will not disown me or throw me out if I get a tattoo. I wish my vocal abilities improve as well. I wish my voice will be good enough to get groupies. I wish that I end up in bed with hot groupies. Not just hot groupies, but hot groupies. I wish that I finally get to try weed but not get caught.

I wish that Gloria dies in her sleep, as well as any corrupt politician that might replace her. I wish that money comes in. Lots of it. I wish the anorexic model look dies out. I wish that our country becomes a feudal wasteland run by leather-clad modern-day barbarians. And when that time comes, I wish I had the power to make heads explode when I punch them. I also wish for mutants, zombies, and dragons to scour and ravage the wastelands.

I wish I'll meet the battlewench of my dreams in battle.

Thank you God for the blessing you've given me, even if all I have is the ability to draw. Thank you for giving me money for food and snacks. Thank you for not taking all my hair away as of yet.

Your servant,

Nicholas.

]]> ~Razekiel http://Razekiel.deviantart.com/journal/26708911/ http://Razekiel.deviantart.com/journal/26708911/ Thu, 20 Aug 2009 08:29:58 PDT The other of dark
They mesmerized me
Enchanted my heart

Granting me powers both dark and divine
Vast worlds to conquer
your hearts they are mine

I shall ride into battle
Crimson banner held high
Protected by the Shield of the Holy
Armed with the Lance of the Fire

In their name I shall slaughter
In their name I protect
In their name I will conquer
For the muses of Life and Death

]]> ~Razekiel http://Razekiel.deviantart.com/journal/26701499/ http://Razekiel.deviantart.com/journal/26701499/ Wed, 19 Aug 2009 20:52:46 PDT
The reason why I bought pants at the ladies’ section was because I couldn’t find good-fitting jeans in the guys section. Many guys' pants these days, including straight cut styles tend to be lose and there’s excess space at the crotch. For a guy of average height (5’9” to 6 ’ it would fit perfectly. But being only 5’6 ” and having thin bone structure makes things look too baggy. Plus, a lower crotch – excess space- makes your legs look shorter.

I could buy more stylish jeans maybe at the guy section for 1000 plus but why bother? I'm a bit cheap-ass and lazy that way.

It started when I discovered a pair of ladies’ bootleg-cut jeans (a hand-me-down from a relative) looked better on me than most jeans I’ve worn in my life. Though I got the same cut now, it doesn’t fit the same nice way as the hand-me-down did. _{I'm not into real-tight skinny jeans though. The emo-anorexic look isn't my cup of tea. I even plan to build my leg muscles more to give my pants more "fill".}

Looks like I’m gonna have to have my own pants made though. The ladies-bootleg cut has changed, and guys straight-cut is too bland. I just don’t have time to go to Pampangga lately. My cousin has her jeans made for only 150php.

I’m not metro, nor do I have a stylish fashion sense. I just want to wear nice, fit clothes. I don’t see why there should be lots of excess cloth. It’s just my aesthetic. All these years, since I was in high school, my relatives would give me L, XL, loose-fitting shirts. I guess people were expecting me to grow as huge as my older brother. I do not like hip-hop fashion (no offence hip-hop people). That’s a problem when it comes to fads and trends. It seems relatives will give you clothes thinking you’ll like them because it’s the “in” thing. During those years, Hip-Hop was the in-thing. Or R&B. Yech. Even if you look like a shrimp swimming in a big pond you call your shirt.

Even now, it irks me when someone gives me a shirt that’s sized L. Give me something in the S – M range, I’d be happy. Better yet, give me something sized XS. Yes, that’s how small my ribcage is. If I’m not mistaken my ribcage is just 32 -34 inches in circumference. Even the average 5’6” guy is usually 36 – 40. Yup I have a wimpy frame, but I have to deal with it.



It all boils down to height and size. I guess. People who are average height or maybe taller will have it easier finding clothes that fit them properly. Men with manly build and big bones can wear larges shirts and still look cool. That’s why my tall friends get checked out more than me. It’s easier for them to look stylish. And naturally girls will notice taller guys first.

Me? I guess I’ve reached a point wherein I’m going to have my clothes - especially jeans - custom-made if I want to be noticed.

O well.

I hope people will stop giving me large clothes and accept me for being the small person I am.

]]> ~Razekiel http://Razekiel.deviantart.com/journal/26682271/ http://Razekiel.deviantart.com/journal/26682271/ Tue, 18 Aug 2009 22:38:48 PDT She was a fast machine she kept her motor clean she was the best damn woman that I've ever seen she had the sightless eyes telling me no lies knocking me out with those American thighs taking taking more than her share had me fighting for air she told me to come but I was already there

'Cause the walls start shaking
The earth was quaking
My mind was aching
And we were making it and you -

Shook me all night long! Yeah you! shook me all night long!
-AC~DC

I find this song rather addictive.

Anyways.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Speaking of ACDC. Happy Birthday today to and . Though the latter doesn't check her DA anymore, I thought some of you might remember her.

Since she - Kitana- doesn't check her DA... I guess we can make fun of her a bit. Lol.

I remember when Kitana was 11 or 12, she would sometimes sing "My Humps" and Kwek, Pie and I would often laugh about it. >_> Now I don't think we could laugh anymore.

Damn it, Kwek had to remind me about it last night. And you know, time passes by so fast. I remember my hairline being at least half an inch lower when I was 21.

Damn.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

O well. IS anyone going to the exhibit later? if you are, see you

]]> ~Razekiel http://Razekiel.deviantart.com/journal/26665139/ http://Razekiel.deviantart.com/journal/26665139/ Tue, 18 Aug 2009 06:19:18 PDT

1) Choose one of your own characters (OC).
Razekiel Trinity
From: [Bio]Meld
Voice Actor: Christian Bale (lol)
2) Make them answer the following questions.
3) Then tag three people. , , and
4) Feel free to add some questions of your own.




1) What gender are you?
"I'm a man."

2) What is your age?
"Mid twenties. I look older than I really am though." o.O

3) Do you want a hug?
"Why?"


4) Do you have any bad habits?
"Yep. I usually end up waking up in some random or even unknown groupie's home after a Friday night gig. At least I got good taste even when I'm drunk so no coyote uglies here."

5) What is your favorite food?
"Pork chops. Though I have to lay low on them since I'm watching my waist now."

6) What is your favorite ice-cream flavor?
"Chocolate marble.:

7) Are you a virgin?
"Refer to answer number 4. That's a stupid question."

8) Have you killed anyone?
"I have no idea."

9) Do you hate anyone?

"A lot."

10) Do you have any secrets?
"A few of my students attempted to rape me once. 14-year-old girls these days can be scary."

11) What is your favorite season?
"Any good season to play Heavy Metal is my favorite season."

12) Who is your best friend(s)?
"Mako and Bard. And my band."

13) What are your hobbies?
"I sing."

You do?

"Yep. I'm a vocalist in a Heavy Metal band, "Lucifer's Cross". I usually perform on Friday nights, after a hell week of teaching."

14) What is your favorite drink?
"Pussyjuice."

What's that? O_O

"It's a special sour citrus drink served in the bar where we play at, Devil's Den"


15) When is your birthday?
"June 8, 2084."

16) What age did you die?
"I've always been dead inside. Lol I kid. I'm not into that emo shit, so ask someone else that question."

17) Are you nice or mean?
"I dunno. I teach religion, arts, and biology in an exclusive, preppy girl's school, and yet I sing for a band with a "blasphemous" name. You tell me."

18) Are you social or shy?
"Depends. Am I talking to my students or am I hitting on some hot chick?"

19) What do you think of your parents?
"They're cool. Had to move out because I got a tattoo."

20) What’s your weakness?
"Me? Hahaha. I dunno"

Mako: "He's a sucker for girls in trouble!"

"Oh, fuck you man, get out of here."

Bard: "He likes taking care of stray cute animals like kittens and puppies!"

"THE HELL? GET OUT FUCKERS THIS IS MY INTERVIEW!!"

21) How long can you stay under water?
"Long enough to go from first base to homerun."

Mako: "Translation! A few seconds!"
Bard: "Hahahahaha, highfive!" *Highfives Mako*

*facepalm*

22) What do you do on a regular day basis?
"I teach. I used to handle Bio, but right now I teach religion and values."

23) Do you love someone?
"No."

Bard: "Wait'll Rally hears this."
Mako: "Or Kitlyn."

"Fuck dudes, I'm no cradle-snatcher."

24) When was the last time you wet your self.
"I think when I was so fucked-up drunk and I pissed in front of the pub."

25) What's your favorite band?
"This old band from long ago. Like a century ago, during the 1980s. I don't know their name though since we just found these ancient artifacts-"

Mako: "Cds"

"Yep, CDs, with their lables erased. I think one of them was Ion Raiden. Or something. Yep."

26) Ever worn a dress?
"No. But Bard did."

Bard: "RIA MADE ME!"

27) Willingly?
"Yep. He tried to impress this bitch of a prospect who was into that homo-erotic shit."

Bard: "Hey, she was cute!"

"She even stuck a dildo up his ass."

Bard: O_O

Mako: "Bard. Didn't know you had it in you."

Bard: "She... was cute. AW FUCKING RIA!"

28) What do you consider fun in the day-time?
"Time away from my annoying students. Break time."
... ]]> ~Razekiel http://Razekiel.deviantart.com/journal/26622854/ http://Razekiel.deviantart.com/journal/26622854/ Sun, 16 Aug 2009 05:54:58 PDT
Ride and Roll cafe along Xavierville St., near Katipunan. Concert too.

]]> ~Razekiel http://Razekiel.deviantart.com/journal/26619953/ http://Razekiel.deviantart.com/journal/26619953/ Sat, 15 Aug 2009 23:56:06 PDT
STAND UP AND SHOUT!!!

Damn. The soundtrack of Rockstar is cool. And so is Dio's song (which came first). Didn't know Dio did fast music, too. God, I'm so late.

Ok. This past week has been a busy one. But it was cool. Hell yeah. I just got myself a facebook account. Not because it's the in thing, but partially because my friends keep bugging me and the quizzes make me curious.

Are you metal?
I'm Thrash Metal? o_o I don't even listen to many thrash bands.

What metal band are you?
I'm Iron Maiden? Noooo!! I wanted to be Judas Priest. Kwek is Judas Priest? Nooooo!!!!

T__T

]]> ~Razekiel http://Razekiel.deviantart.com/journal/26555169/ http://Razekiel.deviantart.com/journal/26555169/ Wed, 12 Aug 2009 18:58:36 PDT
I wish I was allowed to have leaves. Not the ones that grow on trees, but the ones that mean taking days off work. Yeah. If I could just have a 5-day leave, I could probably squeeze in inking 5 - 10 pages. Or maybe I should risk going freelance once my comp is set up at home (hopefully after renovation is done in a few weeks). Yeah. A bum doing comics eating at his parents wilting resources without even assurance if it will hit or not.

The way you choose to work or live your life is based on the way you think. What are your "schools of thought" to be exact?

In my case. I'm the type of person who can't be relied on to illustrate comics for big guns or established characters. I was a fan of comics, but I never had dreams of drawing certain heroes like lessay Spiderman or Superman. Even as a kid, I rarely did fanart.

I'd usually make or design "homages"- characters or mecha who were inspired by what was already there, but different in their own right. I considered this a step towards "freedom".

I was pretty creative but I wasn't a prodigy. Think of a caveman who just learned how to do something, but does it without "class". It's also the reason why I have it hard with the ladies. Hahaha. It only takes one letter to change "class" to "crass".

When I was around ten, with a typewriter, I made a poorly written series of short stories about humans from another planet inviting me in their mission to exterminate these giant tentacled parasitic life forms on their planet. Very bloody. I think I also included cuss words. And why was it in first person? It was because I had read HG Wells that time.

I'd be okay being a designer and an artist for concepts not yet established though, I guess. An example of which would be lessay a writer approaches me and gives me concepts, and blah blah so on and so forth.

Or if clients want a "revamp" some of their designs. Lessay, Cartoon Network wants me to make a new Powerpuff girls. I'm evil in a sense I'd rather do bastardizations than fan-art (ironic since I usually don't like bastardizations myself). I actually have a series of sketches in mind, which I'll title "Bastardizations". Who's on my list? You'll just see.

But lessay, for example, I get a job doing The Incredible Hulk, I'd be in it for just the mullah, and it would be difficult because there'd be no fun in it for me.

"You get to collaborate with well-known writers!"
"So?"
"You get to draw a famous, well-loved character!"
"So?"
"If this hits, you get to go to the San Diego comicon!"
"Yey. I'll be surrounded by mostly white geek girls instead of Asian geek girls this time. Bravo."

It's not that I'm a pessimist, but yeah, doing someone else's shiz. Is just a means to survive. There has got to be more to life than that for me. Yeah. I think that's what I admire about Whilce Portacio even though I find his anatomy sucky at times. At least he was a creator. Right? That is something big. If this were a basketball game, he wasn't just an import player. He was a coach. Mwahahaha.

The reason behind why not many Filipinos are 'true' creators these days is due to media oppression, censorship of one's voice and a deaf ear towards good ideas.

Primarily because we've been in 'survival mode' since the 80s. Greed of politicians has brought our country to ruins. We are but slaves to the world, machines being paid just enough to get by. And the world itself is a slave, a slave to discontentment, a slave to the ever-changing machine we call technology. An irony.

We've taken too much for granted
and all the time it had grown
From techno seeds we first planted
Evolved a mind of it's own

Marching in the streets
Dragging iron feet
Laser beaming hearts
tearing men apart

From far I see my perfection
While we could do as we please
In secrecy this infection
Was spreading like a disease

Hiding underground
Knowing we've been found
Fearing for our lives
reaped by robot's scythes

Metal gods... ding ding ding ding
Metal gods... ding ding ding ding

Judas Priest's song, "Metal Gods", the movie Terminator and the Matrix are actually becoming a reality. In my opinion, a sad reality.

"Fuck, my laptop's only a year old but I have to spend to keep up to date."


See your world of suffering
Money-sucking greed
Watch the human gluttony
All these mouths to feed

Contortion
Contortion in my head
Contortion
All I see is red

Raped the earth of everything
Shoot it through the brain
Man remains a carnivore
Selfish and insane

- Fight, Contortion

But, whatever happens we need to brave through the shit st... ]]> ~Razekiel http://Razekiel.deviantart.com/journal/26521685/ http://Razekiel.deviantart.com/journal/26521685/ Tue, 11 Aug 2009 07:34:23 PDT
I woke up this morning feeling energized and rather well, in spite of having slept only 5 + hours. I was awake at 5:40, and I wanted to get back to sleep, but I just couldn't.

I knew something good was going to happen today.


It turns out, today was the date of this Team Manila event. Me and some of the guys at First Academy (including but not limited to , and ) attended the event. There happend to be this on-the-spot t-shirt drawing contest.

We didn't win, but, it was okay. It was kinda my fault, because I hogged a shirt all to myself (okay, ~delicateporcelain drew an heart with angel-wings doodle on the back) and it turned out to be a team thing. But it was okay. One of the people handling the event said she liked my shirt the best anyway, and when I look at it (I'm currently wearing it) I feel... proud. It's the best personalized t-shirt I've drawn so far. I also got good comments from people I met there.

Anyway, what I found funny (in a good way) one of the two shirts that won had a Christian theme to it. I was joking my officemates "Nooo!!! Satan lost to Jesus! Good triumphed over evil!" To give you an idea of what I drew, think of skulls, dragons, and fire. Oh, and naked girls. I was even singing "The Number of the Beast" midway through drawing it. I was tempted to put "666" down. This must be the first metal-esque shirt I made.

Of course, I was kidding, I'm not a Satanist. I doubt even Iron Maiden worships the Devil. I guess old folks don't understand that dark themes just inspire some of us. *shrugs*

O well.

I may have lost. I didn't have the fire, I didn't have the force. I didn't have the power to make my evil take it's course. But I still won. In some other ways.



So, if you guys happen to check out pics of Team Manila events on the web and stumble across a pic of a hairy guy wearing (or holding up) a white shirt with a skull, a dragon, and a naked girl. That must be me.

]]> ~Razekiel http://Razekiel.deviantart.com/journal/26408784/ http://Razekiel.deviantart.com/journal/26408784/ Wed, 05 Aug 2009 18:25:27 PDT
I woke up this morning still sleepy from a dream that was semi-Lovecraftian. Berd became a roundheaded monster with a set of sharp-teeth (think critters) and a cyclopean eye. And I knew it was him, he was still cracking jokes. I told my female companion in the dream that was his "dream form". There were other monsters in that dream, if I can recall well, I think they were people I knew who were in their "dream forms". Or maybe "Lovecraftian" forms.

I have not read his novels (yet), but thanks to some Heavy-Metal shit, friends talking about it, and movies, I have a slight idea of what his works are like.

*starts reading on HP Lovecraft on Wikipedia, and eventually, night terrors*

Okay. So, anyway, In spite of being groggy, I woke up feeling rather... good. I didn't fall asleep with a heavy heart last night, too. Must have been a first for the past month. The last thing I did before going to bed was sketch in some layouts.

Drawing Loraen again... as well as Rally and Violet made the mood lighter. I missed out on a lot of shit I should have been doing all this while. Work, stress... worry. Occasional psychosis. Living in the past of what-ifs and should-haves.

Thanks.

, , , , , , and

]]> ~Razekiel http://Razekiel.deviantart.com/journal/26394151/ http://Razekiel.deviantart.com/journal/26394151/ Wed, 05 Aug 2009 02:52:59 PDT NO MERCY
NO MERCY
NO MERCY ON YOUR SOUL!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Okay. So what's been up in the news recently?

Hmm. Alodia is one of the most influential women in the Philippines, according to Uno Magazine. Ok.

Cory Aquino has been laid to rest. There's a joke that says something like, "People were praying to God to take away the Lady President. He must have misheard." But, joking aside, may her soul rest in peace and may she be reunited with Ninoy in the afterlife. Happily ever after.

Lesson guys, be more specific with your prayers.

Carlo J. Caparas is a National Artist? Cool. If this trend grows, maybe I'll become a national artist one of these days. If the guy got away with making b-grade rapist-slasher flicks, cheesy comics, and ripping-off artists, I could be on the right track!



"And now, we present Mr. Nicholas Trinidad with the National Artist Award. Mr. Trinidad as we know is well-reknowned in his paintings of nude pseudo-underaged girls and his comic, Meld, which contains a shallow storyline, lots of nudity and excessive violence. Bravo Mr. Trinidad."

"I can't thank you enough for presenting me with this award. I'd like to thank my friends who'd listen to my ramblings, my Mom for ranting about my nudes, the girls who've broken my heart, assholes who get some while I'm not, and God above for giving me a sucky life. Thank you all, and FUCK YOU PHILIPPINES!!! Mwahahahahaha."

O well.

So much for daydreaming.

]]> ~Razekiel http://Razekiel.deviantart.com/journal/26377086/ http://Razekiel.deviantart.com/journal/26377086/ Tue, 04 Aug 2009 09:43:06 PDT
To have power.

To have power means being able to do anything and get away with it. In life, real power belongs to those who are cruel. It belongs to those who are ruthless. It belongs to those, who in spite of being cruel and ruthless, are still able to manipulate the hearts of those they've toyed with. Those who they've hurt - even without a single word, or deed.

A good puppetmaster is one who still has a hold on his puppet- even if the puppet fully knows its toyed with. Even if the puppet knows that it's strings have been cut and it's set free. Even if the puppet knows the master is evil. The puppet will try to convince itself that it loves its master. It tries to convince itself in spite of its cruelty, the master is actually a good person.

A similar effect to Stockholm's Syndrome, you may say...

In this world, many individuals are blessed with the charm and ability to play with other individuals as if they were toys in a sanbox. The world is his playground after all, and people to him are mere pawns in the game of life. Men are often the stepping stones. And women are his pleasure slaves.

I've been reflecting a lot lately. I've had friends who've been toyed with. Many of which are girls. Some of them, people I've loved in one way or another. I've always despised the men who've hurt them. That is until now.

It could be- that my burning hatred is actually a sign of admiration at the feats men like these have accomplished. After all, I have had guy friends who've told me stories of their sexploits and conquests. I'm not angry at them. Why? Because I never knew their conquests on a personal level. Boys will be boys.

One of my friends threw it at my face, after I got pissed at her for forgiving a guy who had toyed with her.

"Didn't you want to be like that, Nick? Being able to play around and fuck as many pretty girls as you can?"

She's got a point. I was a hippocrite all this time to try and comfort my friends, to feel hatred for these assholes who care nothing about the damage they do as long as they get into a girl's pants. I've always wanted to look good. Then again, why try being something you're not?

Acceptance, should make us feel better about ourselves, after all. So, am I angry because of the wrong that these men do? Or - am I envious because they can get away with it?

I've always wanted power after all. I've admired the likes of Ted Bundy. Even though he was found guilty of multiple rapes and murders, he had power. In spite of being held in captivity, he died powerful. No one can deny the number of female fans who've written him love letters in prison. Is it his good looks? Is it the bad boy hype? Not really. It's his charm. It's his spirit. It's his power.

I remember one time, I asked a friend if she could introduce me to her female friends. She declined saying, they were "out of my league". Not because they were pretty, but because they were players.

Challenging. Very, very challenging. All the more for the wolf to come out. I can't help but conjure up images in my head of myself as this ferocious, powerful, and virile beast. And that's where it gets frustrating. I can never embody my true, inner self. Physical restraints. Financial restraints. Social Restraints. Emotional restraints.

If I was born with a silver spoon, had the build and strength of a jock, I'd be the type of asshole who hangs out in clubs and car shows, looking for a good lay. I'd be the type of asshole who looks like an angel on the outside. Right now, I'm just a plain, helpless asshole.

Frustrating, indeed.

I've already hurt some people in the past, so I guess hurting others in the future won't be such a big deal anymore. After all, maybe that's what life is about. Enjoying yourself at the expense of others. Why should I care if people get hurt? Hell, they'll always forgive me anyway, and come out stronger in the end. Or better yet, they'll come back to me.

They'll come back to me, hating what I've done, but loving me. Why? Because I am the master. Because I have the power. Because I hold their hearts in my hand, and I can crush it whenever I choose to. I can indulge myself in being so wicked, so irresistable, and so manipulative. I can indulge myself in true power. Power. Power. Power. And when I'm done, I'll just move on to my next prey, and tie my strings around the new puppet. And that's where the fun begins once more.

Hahahahahahahaha.

Gone is my conscience. I'd just be a hippocrite. Why should I restrain myself from enjoying my life? Why should I control the beast inside, when every one else (in certain points in their life) is a beast as well?

Do we not prey on the juicy gossip of our neighbors? Do we not revel in hating those who we hate? Do we not enjoy martyring ou... ]]> ~Razekiel http://Razekiel.deviantart.com/journal/26294184/ http://Razekiel.deviantart.com/journal/26294184/ Fri, 31 Jul 2009 09:33:33 PDT
Bow down

And worship me

For your souls

are mine

And you will burn.

Hahahaha.

]]> ~Razekiel http://Razekiel.deviantart.com/journal/26261397/ http://Razekiel.deviantart.com/journal/26261397/ Wed, 29 Jul 2009 18:25:44 PDT
I dreamt I was in a desert setting, a place that appeared to be a ruins of some sort. Ramparts. I was with my ex, and we were looking at this beige pyramid with it's top chipped off.

_{What's funny was I watched Transformers ROTF -for the second time- with her(we're still friends), and now I remember Devastator destroying the pyramid's top.}

There was a string of other scenarios after that. She was no longer with me. But I do remember traveling to different places, which appeared to be streets.

The other dream scene I partially, clearly remember is the last. I was traveling with a girl who appeared to be ten years of age. She had short hair (no bangs). Unlike Loraen (a fictional Galatea of sorts) who I've encountered in past dreams, this girl was different.

In spite of being younger than Lor, she was very sexual in nature- which I found disturbing, even in the dream. No, we didn't do anything, in fact she was a rather quiet travel companion. She was expressionless, but it was as if her thoughts spoke.

In my dreams, Loraen was usually warm. This new girl... let's call her "Dark Girl" since I don't have a name for her yet. She seemed cold. Evil. Brooding. A succubus trapped in the body of a little girl, perhaps?

We went to a strange, surreal place, which appeared to be a classroom - except there were no chairs, no walls, no ceiling. The backdrop was rather hazy. There were girls her age and they were seated on the wooden floor, and if I recall there was a robust female teacher.

Anyway, Dark Girl joins them. I stand outside the boundaries of the wooden floor. And watch. Teacher gives a few instructions of what appear to be drill excercises.

All the girls get on their fours. I can't recall well know if they were in rows or arranged in a circle.

Now, Dark Girl does something really disturbing. She sniffs the rear of the girl on front of her and i dunno, lapped away at her privies?

And I'm watching like
O_o

I didn't feel lust. That's a good thing. But I did feel something else. Dark. Wasn't hunger. No wolf there.

More like.

Rage, perhaps. Right now when I think about it, I feel like I want to kill Dark Girl. She must die.

Loraen, where are you?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I wonder if my dreams are a byproduct of reading George Levis' adult comics. Liz and Beth, The Exemplary Little Girls. I have to admit, right now, I want my art style to proceed in that direction- somewhat classical. His anatomy is flawless. Stylized, yet a hint of realism is present. The guy is a great artist.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After typing this entry, I started singing Iron Maiden's Number of the Beast.

I left alone my mind was blank
I needed time to think to get the memories from my mind

What did I see can I believe that what I saw
that night was real and not just fantasy

Just what I saw in my old dreams were they
reflections of my warped mind staring back at me

'Cos in my dream it's always there the evil face that twists my mind
and brings me to despair

o_o Dark Girl must be the antiChrist. Maybe I had a vision.

o_o

]]> ~Razekiel http://Razekiel.deviantart.com/journal/26221950/ http://Razekiel.deviantart.com/journal/26221950/ Mon, 27 Jul 2009 22:08:56 PDT
Anyway, midway through the song, Pochito breaks the pedal of the drum set. He said, “This is proof Painkiller isn’t supposed to be in Rockband. If you’re a real drummer, you’ll break the pedal.” We then laughed. Pochito and his brother Pepeton have a whole life ahead of them.

Poch is only 14 yet he’s played gigs as far as Boracay already. Pep, being a couple or so years younger already handles an electric guitar rather well. Then again, we’re in an age of prodigies, so they must be normal for their generation.
I think Poch should get formal voice training though lest he damage his vocal chords and end up being a 2-octave singer. Hahahaha. .

Man. If I was that young all the possibilities in the world… cool. If my nephews ever ask me advice regarding girls - I’ll have the following to say:

“If there’s a girl in your life, go, get her. If it fails, move on, you’re still young. Fuck up when you’re young so you won’t fuck up as much when you’re older.”

I’m going through shit I should have gone through in highschool or even college. I should have been wild and careless back then. Now that I’m old there’s not enough room anymore for getting rowdy and wild.

I sometimes ask some older girl friends of mine questions regarding their boyfriends. Like. Have their boyfriends ever fooled around in the past? Have they ever played with someone’s feelings? Have they ever used someone just for sex? Have they ever broken any hearts?

Hahaha. I wonder how they can still accept these guys- these boys- these men – for how they once were. Maybe love is stupid. How can you love someone with a tainted record? How can you love someone who’s hurt others in the name of fun? How can you trust someone who’s played with someone else in the past? How can you love someone who, is basically… evil?

Is it the bad boy, alpha-wolf complex that attracts them? Surprisingly, it isn’t, really. I guess I tend to misuse the world “evil” a lot.

As for the guys- sometimes, I’d like to ask them. How can you move on in your life knowing you’ve hurt someone? How do you sleep at night knowing you’ve taken advantage of someone? How do you handle being stigmatized as an asshole?

No, seriously. There are times I think in black and white. There are times I think the world is twisted and I’m the one who’s sane. Black and white. Good and evil.

A guy who gets dump, gets his heart broken is better – than a guy who breaks the heart of someone. It is better to get hurt, than to hurt. Forgiveness only belongs to those who repent and make up for it, and bad karma awaits those who enjoy their evil actions. If karma is too slow, there is always revenge.

Then of course. They answer. They were young back then. So yeah. You fuck up when you’re young it’s ok.

I fucked up. But I wasn’t young anymore. I was fully aware that there was something wrong. That makes me.

Evil. If someone ever falls for me, that person must be stupid. Thankfully no one will because I’m an open book and deception is a game I’m lousy at. Hahahaha.

I’m still waiting for my bad karma.

]]> ~Razekiel http://Razekiel.deviantart.com/journal/26205395/ http://Razekiel.deviantart.com/journal/26205395/ Mon, 27 Jul 2009 06:33:48 PDT
This Judas Priest song... whenever I heard it before... it made me feel shitty. Not anymore. Kinda like Lullacry's "Crucify My Heart."

Out In The Cold

[Tipton/Halford/Downing]

I'm layin' awake at night
I can't get you out of my mind
All I can hear is my heart beat
And a voice in the dark of some kind

Where are you now
The fears are comin' back to me once again
Oh, I wish you were here
Takin' good care of me
I want you
I feel as though I'm out in the cold

Out in the cold
Hear me calling
Cold
Out in the cold
Please rescue me

I know it was you I hurt
I didn't mean to hurt you
So much to forgive and forget
Can't take anymore of this hurt
On no, Oh no
There's so many things I regret

Where are you now
The fears are comin' back to me once again
Oh, I wish you were here
Takin' good care of me
I want you
I feel as though I'm out in the cold

Shut me out
Out in the cold
Where are you now
Hear me calling
I need you I'm so cold
Can't you hear my heart beat
Out in the cold
Please rescue me

Give me a chance baby
There's nothing I wouldn't do to make it alright
Just for one more chance baby
I need all your lovin' tonight

Where are you now
The fears are comin' back to me once again
Oh, I wish you were here
Takin' good care of me
I want you
I feel as though I'm out in the cold

Shut me out
Out in the cold
Where are you now
Hear me calling
I need you I'm so cold
Can't you hear my heart beat
Out in the cold
Please rescue me
Why don't you rescue me
Cold
Shut me out
Out in the cold
Where are you now
Hear me calling
I need you I'm so cold
Can't you hear my heart beat
Out in the cold
Please rescue me
Why don't you rescue me
I'm so cold
Shut me out
Out in the cold
Where are you now
Hear me calling
I need you I'm so cold
Can't you hear my heart beat
Out in the cold
Please rescue me

But all is right now. I guess these things in life happen. It's just funny how songs hit us in the head.

]]> ~Razekiel http://Razekiel.deviantart.com/journal/26185609/ http://Razekiel.deviantart.com/journal/26185609/ Sun, 26 Jul 2009 08:01:24 PDT
After the badminton meet yesterday, some buddies of mine stole videos of me in the shower. I heard they plan to post it on Youtube.

HAHAHA!!! Great guys, great. If the world sees my body and makes fun of me, that's ok. Why? It makes you look gay, anyways.



Lol. At least I mooned yah folks. And the sight of my ass will forever be etched into your memories.



]]> ~Razekiel http://Razekiel.deviantart.com/journal/26185483/ http://Razekiel.deviantart.com/journal/26185483/ Sun, 26 Jul 2009 07:50:02 PDT Love was beautiful, honest and chaste
Time went by, everything has changed
All things once valued now laid to waste

Facing a future so dark and unsure
The past a closed door locked forever more
The once peaceful order now disarranged
As lost souls get washed upon unfamiliar shores...


Who is that man in the mirror?
Where is the boy I once knew
Now he is ready to devour
Inside the wolf in him grew

Just another victim
Just another sin
Just another angel added to the fall

Will somebody save him
Will he ever win
Why is it hard to resist the call?

Another broken angel cries in the night
The wolf ravages her with delight
Never listen to the sweet words they say
Love is just a lie to lure their prey

Can you find my innocence?
Can you return it to me?
How can I trust my own inner sense?
Now that the beast has broken free

Just another time
Just another place
Just another fly to lure to the den

Another glass of wine
Another pretty face
Another heart waiting to be broken

Another broken angel cries in the night
The wolf ravages her with delight
Never listen to the sweet words they say
Love is just a lie to lure their prey

God will there be an end to this game?
Will you send me an angel...
All this debauchery drives me insane
Rid me of this hell.

return me
my

Innocence.

]]> ~Razekiel http://Razekiel.deviantart.com/journal/26145955/ http://Razekiel.deviantart.com/journal/26145955/ Fri, 24 Jul 2009 07:52:18 PDT HELL YEAH!!! YOU KNOW YOU WANT SOME MORE
I'M GONNA GIVE IT TO YAH!!!
COZ NOW I CAN FUCKING DRAW!!!

I BEEN FUCKING DOWN THESE DAYS
MY LIFE WAS LOST IN A MAZE
NOW I CAN SEE THE LIGHT
AND NOW I'M READY TO FIGHT

HELL YEAH!!! LISTEN TO ME ROAR
HELL YEAH!!! I'M BREAKING DOWN DOORS
I'M GONNA GIVE IT TO YAH!!!
COZ I CAN FUCKING DRAW!!!

FUCK YEAH, IT'S NO JOKE
WHEN YOU LOSE YOUR STROKES
BUT NOW'S A GOOD TIME
AND I'M GONNA SHINE

SO GIVE ME A PIECE OF PAPER
AND GIVE ME MY PENCIL
IT'S GOTTA BE NOW NOT LATER
BEFORE I FALL ILL

HELL YEAH!!! LISTEN TO ME ROAR
HELL YEAH!!! I'M BREAKING DOWN DOORS
I'M GONNA GIVE IT TO YAH!!!
COZ I CAN FUCKING DRAW!!!

]]> ~Razekiel http://Razekiel.deviantart.com/journal/26126088/ http://Razekiel.deviantart.com/journal/26126088/ Thu, 23 Jul 2009 09:34:06 PDT
Good night.

]]> ~Razekiel http://Razekiel.deviantart.com/journal/26102178/ http://Razekiel.deviantart.com/journal/26102178/ Wed, 22 Jul 2009 06:29:36 PDT
A while ago while I was in Trinoma, Kwek and I stumbled upon (once more) the Magic 8 Ball. Anyways, back then, when we would ask questions, and repated them, the answers would be inconsistent, prood that the toy really is BS and just for fun.

However, a while ago, when it came to my questions regarding a crush of mine (hahahaha, so many, you guys won't guess which crush)... the answers were consistent.


Like does she like me? Yes.
Will I court her? Yes.
Do I have a chance? Yes.
Is she "the one"? Yes.

O_O

Of course the choices weren't yes and no, but more or less they were synonymous. Just for trips, Kwek asked the Magic 8 Ball again, before leaving if my crush liked me, and it still came out yes.

What I find ironic is that there is no chemistry between me and said crush. At least that's what some friends observed... >_>

What was funnier was when it came to Kwek's personal life, the Magic 8 Ball was making fun of him.

O well.
But, yep, that was a first. I wonder if omens are real.

A few days ago, a friend told me, "You know if you lose something in life, as long as you pray hard, and have faith, God will replace it with something better."

"But what if I threw that away?"

"If you did, and you realized your mistakes, he still will. God is forgiving after all."

I know, I know, maybe some atheists reading this might say it's BS, but well. After recent events. I've learned to pray harder once more.

Maybe the Magic 8 Ball isn't kidding.
Then again, I'm just kidding myself. But it was fun.

But hey. Maybe letting God into your life, even just once, isn'tbad at all. The Magic 8 ball may be BS, but well... there'll be a brighter tomorrow.

I feel it.

]]> ~Razekiel http://Razekiel.deviantart.com/journal/26077628/ http://Razekiel.deviantart.com/journal/26077628/ Tue, 21 Jul 2009 00:02:06 PDT "Making a decision's tough, huh? Especially when you're falling in love. On one hand there's always someone you feel you owe something to, someone who gave you life, who protected you... who gave you everything. And in exchange, you'd of course love to repay their kindness, and that's how you end up living a life that's not yours. On the other hand is the unknown, someone you know nearly nothing about, but who could open a thousand doors for you, leading you to a completely different future. The real change you've been waiting for!"

- Cleopatra, from Soleil's Sky Doll

... and listening to DragonForce...

So free your heart, leave your life far behind
In the cold of winter skies, escape the pain inside
Now feel your soul lost in seas of all eternity
Every day this life defending
And the flames of youth not ending
In a lifetime searching, we must fight through the eternal pain

]]> ~Razekiel http://Razekiel.deviantart.com/journal/26051658/ http://Razekiel.deviantart.com/journal/26051658/ Sun, 19 Jul 2009 19:28:03 PDT
I… screwed up in my first relationship, which was around a year ago. I was around 24. And not a day has passed since then, that I’ve not thought about it. It happened quickly and ended quickly. I was such an asshole, throwing away something without giving it a chance, hurting someone in the process, leaving an emotional scar. That person had given me a lot of love and more.

In spite of being on the wrong side, I had friends and family who consoled me, telling me it’s a part of life, and that these were things I should have gone through when I was younger. Generally, what humanity is trying to tell me is that you will make mistakes and no one is perfect. It also sounds like you’re actually expected to make these mistakes.

I’ve guy friends who would tell me of their romantic and sexual exploits. Being a listener, there were times I wished I’d gone through what they’ve gone through. Threesomes, hot models, teenagers (dark, illegal, but it’s in every man’s nature), one night stands.

Some of these guy friends of mine never grew up. They still fuck around behind their wives’ backs – one of which, haha, has great karma coming his way. He was (and still is) such a Playboy that God blessed him with FIVE daughters. Ouch.

Other guys, on the other hand, are now faithful to their present girlfriends or wives. Having grown tired of playing around they’ve finally found the one to settle down and build a life with.

One guy I do know however- married his first girlfriend. After more than ten years of marriage however, he had an affair with someone, and it took a toll on his family. His younger sister who once admired him had now scorned him.

In spite of desiring it, and wanting to do it – again. And again. And again - a big part of me views sex as being rather dark in nature. If a young man, a boy; deceives a lot of girls in the game of “love”, but never really hit homerun with any of them; that could be forgivable. However, supposing he hit homerun with all of them, and those girls were virgins before that. No, make those sweet, adorable, nice, and innocent virgins. Is that forgivable?

Now supposing, one of those girls he fucked isn’t the type of person you’re really supposed to do that to. She has a weak will, loses self-respect, and ends up hurting herself as she goes through a life of self-degradation. A few years later she dies from an STD she got from one of he casual partners.


Years later the boy who toyed with her has a loving wife, and he decides to settle down. He has a happy ending, maybe, (who knows, he might go through marriage problems, but maybe he’ll overcome them). Karma could always hit him like a brick, but he could overcome it.

But what about the girl? Is the boy responsible for what happened to her? Partially? Fully?

Many people will say, the girl died on her own fault. She wasn’t strong enough to move on. But this I tell you: we all have our differences. Not everyone is strong by nature. I know a lot of strong girls, but I also know a lot of weak ones.

There was a girl before who would flirt with me. She’d sometimes tease me, in our online conversations. Although sometimes these things are just taken as is, and never really get far. UNLESS- you want it to. When it comes to the game of love and seduction, all it takes is good chemistry, a nice play on words and smooth, yet spontaneous moves. So, has Raz laid the moves on the girl?

Nope. Tried to, but maybe I fucked up.
OR maybe I fuck up on purpose because I have that fear. I mean come on. Most guys I know, if faced with a hot 19 year-old chick who teases them would actually do their best to bed her. Boys will be boys right?
Throw in the plus that she’s a virgin, and voila.

Hell, I want to bed her.

But that’s just it. In the end, I’ll realize she’s not who I want to be with. In the end, she’ll just get hurt. Because - in spite of her being vocal regarding such things I know deep down inside she’s a sweet and decent girl who’s actually looking for real love.

There’s actually another girl who wants to marry me and tells me she’ll let me do things. O_o

Yeah. A few guy friends of mine are demonizing me into actually going for these things. “Someday, you’ll regret not having fun and fooling around.”

Look, if there was a hot chick who was really just after a good time, and nothing more, and who’d not get attached to me, then fine, maybe I’d give in. BUT even those types have the risk of falling in love w... ]]> ~Razekiel http://Razekiel.deviantart.com/journal/25977024/ http://Razekiel.deviantart.com/journal/25977024/ Thu, 16 Jul 2009 02:33:05 PDT
I found some erotic and "Heavy Metal"-esque comic downloads on avaxhome.ws. - most of which are illustrated in "European" style.

One of the titles I got was "The Exemplary Little Girls" by George Levis. Judging by the art style and the err... theme... I think it must be pretty old. These days, if you made a comic like that, you could have Chris Hansen after you. But damn! The art makes Japanese lolicon manga look like, ehem, kid's stuff.

_{Lol, George Levis also drew children's books. Ahahahahahahaha. Ahahahahaha. Ahahahahaha.}

In my opinion, generally, European-style erotica art
kicks Manga erotica butt. _{Where have you been all my life?!}

Ironic as it may seem though, I personally find some of the situations sickening - like in the titles called "Island of Damnation", and "The Sex Slave". It's all about rape, rape, and more rape. The art is evil, yet it is well-drawn.

Don't expect me to do such comics any time soon though. I've had an epiphany lately. I'll do nudity in my comics, maybe some sex scenes here and there, but I'm keeping off the really dark shit for now.

It's all about anatomy... these artists really are that good with anatomy. Fuck. I still have a lot of fucking miles to go before I can draw anatomy as decent as theirs.

I wanna go to Europe. o_o


On the HM types, I found this sci-fi comic called "Horlemonde". I can't understand it because it's French. But the painted style kicks ass. Humanoids Publishing rocks!! Dammit. I wanna have a title under them someday.

I also saw SkyDoll, but haven't downloaded it yet. I'll try to look for a real copy first.

Truth is, piracy is bad, but when you live in a shitty country like this, OR if the titles you want can't be found and having them imported will cost you your month's salary...

SOMEDAY THOUGH I promise when I am richer I will actually buy Judas Priest Albums and actual Milo Manara and Luis Royo artbooks. Just not now. HEY! At least I bought my Frazetta books.

I was thinking of getting Boris and Julie's sketchbook in PowerBooks. But... I dunno. I just don't fit that certain school of thought I like. Too reference-heavy.

I also found some old Heavy Metal issues, including Corben's 1001 Nights special.

Besides HM stuff, I also got Berserker (Top Cow? Image? forgot). I think I might buy the actual comics. The art is ok, the plot seems average for now, but the plus is there's lots of blood and gore! Heads being ripped, limbs, no man no woman and maybe no child spared, it's raw, bloody and cool.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

]]> ~Razekiel http://Razekiel.deviantart.com/journal/25948697/ http://Razekiel.deviantart.com/journal/25948697/ Tue, 14 Jul 2009 18:05:47 PDT
I love that jacket. My mom picked it out for me from an Ukay Ukay. Now it's bye bye jacket. No more pseudo-leather appearance. It wasn't even leatherette. It was just cloth that had this cool coating but was breathable. Now I can get a new jacket, real leather this time, but it would be hotter to wear. And that jacket was a pasalubong from my mom, so nothing could ever replace that.

This sucks. I'm gonna go back later on in hopes, MAYBE the soul who got it has a conscience and decided to hand it over to Timezone later on. Maybe it's this hot chick.

Maybe when I go back later, there will be some coincidence- I might see hot chick return it, and she might go, "Oh so you're the one who owns this. My name is (insert name here)."

"Thanks I've been looking for that."

Bla blah yeah right in your fucking dreams. Your jacket is never coming back! BWAHAHAHAHA!!

I think I should kill myself now.

-_-

T_T

It just sucks. You know? It was given to me by my mom, who's already old and gray. She picked it out for me, and it's a rare find. Now it's gone, and I don't know what's gonna happen. I'm so fucking careless. No more comfy pseudo-leather jacket.

T__T

]]> ~Razekiel http://Razekiel.deviantart.com/journal/25930046/ http://Razekiel.deviantart.com/journal/25930046/ Mon, 13 Jul 2009 20:56:50 PDT

I hope none of the people in our group develop enmity for either party (you know who I'm talking about), and will remain as much as possible, fair and unbiased.

I'm saying this because I have this fear that things might get worse if we dwell too much on who really is to blame whenever shit arises. In conclusion, I'd like to say in any conflict, both parties are human and shit does happen.

Sometimes, one person can be annoying, but hopefully, that person will eventually grow up. After all, like all people, that person has a heart, and one that actually cares. Another person would be acting like any normal, flawed person would, though I do hope next time that person becomes careful with his words, and actions, as well. It is not in my right to tell the former's side, and I doubt they'll both truly open up. All I wish for, is that someday, when the time comes, we'll all be open to one another. It is also not in my right to be judgemental of the latter, though I do hope we can talk someday, when everything is calm, and the storm has passed.

Back then, I was wild and uncontrolled. I think that's why another girl was pissed at me those times. I've learned my lessons. Though being flawed, I still get carried away, and wild Raz sometimes pops out during conventions. I also know how it is to have a messed up head, and believe me, I'm trying to gain composure these days.

I'm saying this because, well, sometimes I feel that there is a growing distance between certain people. Don't get me wrong, I'm not forcing people to accept one another with the snap of a finger. What I'm trying to say is, well, people change, and we change depending on the company were with and how willing we are to change. Sometimes, flaws can also grow on us.

We are a family. And family isn't complete without fuck-ups. It's through these fuck-ups though that we are tested. Though like family, it is unavoidable that we take sides when conflict arises. In the end though, after thorough debating and dramu, we have to learn to all move on, gather round a circle and give each other hugs-

For, within family, there is forgiveness.

In spite of the number of times we hurt and get hurt, whether unintentional or not, you just can't live knowing deep inside, shit is eating you from within.

And, at times, you have no one to turn to, but yourself. When family is divided, confusion arises, it's members should each have time alone and contemplate.

In the end though, remember, that we all have to move on. Forget the pain! Forget the hurting! Forget revenge, forget self-loathing and self-pity.

I love all of you. I owe you a lot.

]]> ~Razekiel http://Razekiel.deviantart.com/journal/25908585/ http://Razekiel.deviantart.com/journal/25908585/ Sun, 12 Jul 2009 21:31:29 PDT Heading out to the Highway has got to be one of the most optimistic non-fantasy heavy metal songs in existence. Just last week when I was in a bit of an emotional turmoil, I'd often listen to this song and wait for the second stanza and chorus:

"You can hang in a left or hang in a right
The choice it is yours to do as you might
The road is open wide to place your biddin'
Now, wherever you turn, wherever you go
If you get it wrong, at least you can know
There's miles and miles to put it back together.

And I'm heading out to the highway
I got nothin' to lose at all
I'm goin' to do it my way
Take a chance before I fall
A chance before I fall "

These lines can still be tear-jerking especially if you've made a lot of fuck-ups and find yourself down for the count. Truth is, right now I'm pretty lost and I just want to find a way to get myself composed and put my act together.

I want to run away for maybe a week or so, to get away from the city, the stress, civilzation, and all the debauchery. Even just once.

I tell my friends if they're ever in the dark and they need someone, I can help give them light. Right now though, I need some light myself. But this time, only I can help myself.

Thanks to BJ and company.

I just want to escape for a while. Too bad I don't have any leaves yet since I'm probationary.

]]> ~Razekiel http://Razekiel.deviantart.com/journal/25830434/ http://Razekiel.deviantart.com/journal/25830434/ Thu, 09 Jul 2009 02:13:24 PDT
I still haven't saved enough to move out, but maybe I won't have too that soon, since the house is already getting fixed and everything is calmer these days. Pretty soon I may already get the PC I bought 2 years ago. Yey! If I'm lucky enough to get online gigs, I might be able to quit working full time.

Working full time here isn't bad, really. In fact I slack off 75 percent of the time. I love the place. The problem is, I can't stand commuting everyday. I want to have some peace so i could do pleasure sketching and painting. I want to sleep 8 hours a day, but still be able to have fun.

I want to relearn the guitar, do sculpting. Maybe do some martial arts and gym training once in a while. I even plan to send myself to study voice lessons. I figure if Matt Barlow's (Iced Earth's vocalist) vocal range improved after taking voice lessons, maybe it could work on me.

>_>

Just maybe. I may not be a tenor, but I still have hopes of being able to belt high baritone notes. It's not that unrealistic a goal, right? I can actually hit high notes, but I want it to be consistent, without strain.

Hey Cap! We will make that band. Yeah. I need to be a rocker at least once in my life. To at least pull off one great performance on stage. Call me a poser, but you only live once, you might was well fulfill some of your childhood dreams.

I just have to prove some people wrong.

"She's out of your league."

"Haha! You a vocalist?"

"With the number of young artists who are good these days, you wanna be famous?"

Hell yeah.

]]> ~Razekiel http://Razekiel.deviantart.com/journal/25825982/ http://Razekiel.deviantart.com/journal/25825982/ Wed, 08 Jul 2009 20:15:16 PDT
The Cap was right. These past days have been an epiphany for me. It's good and yet it's painful at the same time. The ideal way of how I planned on living my life was shattered- since last year, actually. I've done things which I now regret.

You know that saying, right? You don't know what you've had until you've already lost it. Nasa huli ang pagsisisisi. That thought popped into my head a couple of nights ago, when I was headed home - and Bon Jovi's Always started playing in the jeep I was riding.

Love is confusing. There's a big part of me that I've left behind, I often feel that I want to go back. And yet, there's a bigger part of me that wants to move forward. The wolf is free, there's a whole lot of wilderness to explore. The cold wilderness. Maybe, if he's lucky, he'll find another place of warmth.

Maybe I don't deserve to be called a wolf anymore though, since I bring shame to the animal's name. Why? When wolves choose a mate, they stick with that mate for life. Welcome to the world of relationships, Raz, where no one is perfect and fucking-up is bound to happen.

I miss those days wherein I'd just listen to stories of romantic exploits and adventures. Having to have been in one changed my way of viewing things. I've had friends who were asses, I've had friends who've screwed young girls for fun, I've had friends who've played around and I've had friends who've failed their loved ones.

Now? I've had a taste of what it feels to be "imperfect". I've experienced being the kind of asshole I hate the most. Gone are the days of innocence. I can no longer love someone purely. There will always be a hint of shallowness.

Love is when you love someone "in spite of" and not "because." This is one of the reasons why my current muse will just be my muse and maybe nothing more. I like her because she fit the concept of what I already had in mind. Basically, it's like I drew her years ago but she just came into my life recently.

True love can never be borne on reason, it has to be borne on spontaneous acceptance and a sacrifice of ideals. Which, sad to say, I can't do.

If I marry someone who doesn't fit the ideal, there will be a big chance of infidelity, because I will always be drawn to my ideals. If I do however marry someone who already fits the ideal, that will never be true love because it was easy to love that person.

It's a lose-lose situation.

So, ergo, I am not capable of love. Solution? Keep away from women. Except those who are already my friends, anyway. As for prospects, I'm gonna avoid them. I'm gonna avoid fertile soil to avoid blooming flowers. It's gonna be hard to avoid my muse though since I do get a lot of ideas from her whenever we talk and she is interesting as a person, as a whole. It's good she's a bit indifferent and somewhat cold, otherwise I might like her more than usual.

NO MORE WIMIN!!

AHAHAHA! yeah. I should have done this a long time ago. To help me with this new "regimen" I've cut down on porn and nudity. I'm gonna start drawing men more, as well. I think.




Lol.

I got a lifetime to enjoy my singlehood.

]]> ~Razekiel http://Razekiel.deviantart.com/journal/25807158/ http://Razekiel.deviantart.com/journal/25807158/ Tue, 07 Jul 2009 22:33:44 PDT
Human beings are probably the dumbest creatures on this planet. We create moral codes, trends, and laws that people have to adhere to, lest they be considered on the side of what's wrong and evil.

And yet, there are a few individuals who can get away with doing evil. Even when they're caught. Even when the entire world knows the crimes they commit.

An acquaintance of mine told me that she saw lots of fangirls flock to Hayden Kho, asking for his autograph- and this was just recent, after the Scandal Season.

So, this guy is a pervert who unconsensually videotapes his fuck sessions and he has lots of female fans. Cool.

And of course, you have Ted Bundy. A convicted rapist, he still got numerous fan letters from women across the country who wanted to be with him.

See?

So I figure. Just a little physical enhancement, a nice evil plot, the execution to said evil plot.

Instant fame among the babes.

Guys, ask yourself:
Why do I need to be a gentleman to get a girl to like me when I can become a crazed pervert or mass-murdering rapist and get hundreds of them to like me, instead?

Humans are weird.

]]> ~Razekiel http://Razekiel.deviantart.com/journal/25780354/ http://Razekiel.deviantart.com/journal/25780354/ Mon, 06 Jul 2009 17:56:10 PDT
Commuting was funny.

Anyway, when the jeepney was boarding, one of the passengers had a cute loli - little girl - with her. I couldn't tell if the the loli was her ward (alaga), daughter or younger sis. What happened next, well, she sat down and sat the loli on her lap. But loli's butt was on my right leg. The woman to my other side looked at me and smiled as if though she found it cute.

But- being exposed to 4chan made me think that if Pedobear were there he'd have that usual "Pedobear approves" grin on his face. Also the fact I get teased about this by my peers because of my drawing style.

If ~BigBerd were sitting across me that time, he'd either do a facepalm or raise a thumbs up at me.

Fucking 4chan.


ANYWAY.

During the ride, loli...

Barfs. Yep. She threw up on the jeepney floor.

The woman who smiled at me earlier got some in her face, the people sitting across got some on their pants, face and shirts. I just came out clean. Zero splash damage on me. THAT was cool.


I kinda grinned because the punchline came up in my head-

"Pedobear do not want."

Ok, so turns out loli was sick. O well, there go four new people with a(h1n1). I kid. I hope not.

]]> ~Razekiel http://Razekiel.deviantart.com/journal/25743522/ http://Razekiel.deviantart.com/journal/25743522/ Sat, 04 Jul 2009 21:59:46 PDT
]]> ~Razekiel http://Razekiel.deviantart.com/journal/25681293/ http://Razekiel.deviantart.com/journal/25681293/ Wed, 01 Jul 2009 19:30:37 PDT
Haha, true true. I was browsing the artwork of Tsukasa Jun, and I remembered. Yep. I don't mean to be a weeaboo, but when it comes to drawing women, Tsukasa Jun and Shun Yamashita are win.

Their women have got some meat on their bones.
Range Murata would be great but he can get a wee bit pedo, if you know what I mean. Lol.

On the Western front, I also like the women of Wallace Wood. I doubt most of you know who the guy is since he's a dinosaur. Oh, yeah, and the women of the Rip Kirby comic strip, too.

]]> ~Razekiel http://Razekiel.deviantart.com/journal/25615733/ http://Razekiel.deviantart.com/journal/25615733/ Sun, 28 Jun 2009 20:20:22 PDT
I am having trouble obtaining pictures and videos of Aneli, one of Domai and Met-Art's models. I've tried searching Avaxhome, Rapidshare-Search-Engine and other file search sites to no good avail (except 20 pics in this 1 mb file). I was wondering if anyone here has ever heard of Aneli, or is willing to share Aneli pics.

Of course if you're willing to get me subscribed to Domai or Met-art, that would be much appreciated. Lol? Who am I kidding.

-_-

]]> ~Razekiel http://Razekiel.deviantart.com/journal/25575969/ http://Razekiel.deviantart.com/journal/25575969/ Fri, 26 Jun 2009 20:56:47 PDT Warning: ROTF Spoilers up ahead.



Transformers ROTF was nice. The fight scenes were cool. The story was rather simple though.




A few complaints:

Megatron coming back to life just like that?

Instead of the Fallen arriving through some dimensional rift, he was there since the beginning? Megatron was serving him all this while? O_o

What happened to the twins?! Were they tossed aside by Devastator? Or were they crushed between his testicles?

The Fallen is a pussy! He didn't last 10 minutes with Prime. And yet his equally powerful brothers couldn't kill him aeons ago? O_o

On the plus side:

The designs are cool. It's like they got HR Giger to do the mecha designs.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yeah. Michael Jackson just died recently. It's kinda sad considering he was planning a comeback.

Hm. I was supposed to joke about him being a pretender shell, especially since it's ROTF season. I remember his film Moonwalker, where he transformed first into a car, and next into a giant robot, which then became a large spaceship. That was awesome, though. Maybe Bay borrowed the idea from that film when he designed Alice.

But well, the guy is now resting. We'll always remember Thriller, Bad, Black or White. Ah, well.

He lived a full life.

]]> ~Razekiel http://Razekiel.deviantart.com/journal/25553147/ http://Razekiel.deviantart.com/journal/25553147/ Thu, 25 Jun 2009 21:02:49 PDT
Now, shall we?

Personally, I find artworks created with the least effort exerted more interesting, and cool, than those that were tediously done and cluttered with detail. Most of the time, when I look at a piece, I can tell if the artist had a hard time doing it or not.

It's one of those things passed on to me from my dad, who was also an artist when he was younger. Back then, I always wondered why he found Harvey Kurtzman's artwork in EC's Frontline Combat fascinating. To me, it looked messy, and it lacked definition and detail here and there. The strokes were too bold.

Of course, as time went by, I realized that I belonged to a generation that's become relatively superficial when it comes to artwork. Fashion and design influenced people to put lots of detail into their work, the camera became a tool to capture reference images to make commercial production much faster.

I've encountered people who are fascinated by artwork primarily because of the amount of detail there was, in spite of the character structure being distorted, the composition being dull, and the picture lacking story.

When I was in my late teens I discovered the artwork of Yoji Shinkawa through Metal Gear Solid. I was fascinated even more when I saw him draw Snake on TV, without pencils. Upon researching more on his art, I found it rather interesting. Simple, crisp brushstrokes, but done with anatomical and structural precision.

I showed some samples to my dad, and he liked it (Shinkawa's art) too. It was only then that I understood what my dad has been trying to tell me. Looking back, he cited Kurtzman. and I got it.

Yes, Kurtzman's illustrations in Frontline Combat were rough- but they were bold. Upon closer inspection, I also noticed his underlying structure was well-done, in spite of the caricatured style it possessed.

It was bold, and yet, it was effortless. It had confidence.

A lot more "old-school" artists and illustrators possess the same effortless confidence. Frazetta, Manara, Coching, Botong, Redondo, etc. My dad often witnessed Nestor Redondo drawing the figure from the foot up without breaking a sweat. Frazetta's sketches contained very few strokes when it came to the outlines.

On the far eastern front, you have Ma Wing Shing, Amano, and Shinkawa. In spite of Amano's love for detail, I can tell that he has an easy time drawing.

In spite of all these artist's style differences, they all have that common factor- effortless, bold, and confident work. No hesitation, yet done with precision. Among the artists I've met I can only name two capable of such ability- ~what-i-do-is-secret and *batangbatugan. I've seen these people finish drawings within minutes.

I guess it's just that hard being able to conjour up things from your mind, and laying it out on paper with the precise strokes needed.

I hope that time will come soon- the time where I can draw with ease.

]]> ~Razekiel http://Razekiel.deviantart.com/journal/25527885/ http://Razekiel.deviantart.com/journal/25527885/ Wed, 24 Jun 2009 22:12:56 PDT
Yesterday, there was a fuck long line at the Buendia MRT station. I was one of the people queued up in this fuck long line. There were two lines. We were on the overpass. On the other staircase, there was another line of people. Now, the people in that new line beside us discovered that there were only two lines upon entrance to the station.

Well, I don't give a shit if these means these people have to go back to the end of the line, but I do not want anyone cutting in front of me. I can be very territorial. Now, of course, as usual, there were a couple of working girl bitches who kept pushing against me, trying to cut in. I stood ground and didn't let them. After all, the line I was in waited goddamn fifteen minutes for even the slightest movement.

They just kept pushing. Now when the woman in front of me got, bothered by our struggle. Then the bitch told her, as if it were my fault, "He won't let me cut in."

Haha, the nerve. I still stood my ground though, but my hands were getting rather shaky, a sign I'd eventually let my rage loose. Good thing I was already close to the check point. If not, I would have gone amok, shouted curse words at her and maybe push her roughly to the side with my shoulders, full force. I don't care if it's embarrassing and I'd look like the bully, but NO ONE has the fucking right to cut in front of me when I'm in line.

Honestly, I can't stand it. Some women have the nerve to complain because you won't let them cut in front of you. Bitches. I guess this must be the fourth time I've encountered such.

The fun part is when you look back at them and they're fuming mad. I'm sorry I'm not a "gentleman". No wait, why should I be sorry? I'm not sorry I'm such an asshole. I have the right to deny kindness more than for anyone has the right to demand it from me.

I think next time someone tries to do that, I'd say aloud, "Yeah? Well suck my c*ck and I'll let you cut in." If she's pretty, of course.

Haha, yeah. The only downside to being an asshole is I can't get the girl who I really, really like and adore. It's kharmic.

]]> ~Razekiel http://Razekiel.deviantart.com/journal/25524799/ http://Razekiel.deviantart.com/journal/25524799/ Wed, 24 Jun 2009 19:06:39 PDT Send Me An Angel
-Scorpions

Wise man said just walk this way
To the dawn of the light
The wind will blow into your face
As the years pass you by
Hear this voice from deep inside
It's the call of your heart
Close your eyes and you will find
Passage out of the dark

Here I am
Will you send me an angel
Here I am
In the land of the morning star

Wise man said just find your place
In the eye of the storm
Seek the roses along the way
Just beware of the thorns

Here I am
Will you send me an angel
Here I am
In the land of the morning star

Wise man said just raise your hand
And reach out for the spell
Find the door to the promised land
Just believe in yourself
Hear this voice from deep inside
It's the call of your heart
Close your eyes and you will find
The way out of the dark

Here I am
Will you send me an angel
Here I am
In the land of the morning star
Here I am
Will you send me an angel
Here I am
In the land of the morning star

]]> ~Razekiel http://Razekiel.deviantart.com/journal/25504299/ http://Razekiel.deviantart.com/journal/25504299/ Tue, 23 Jun 2009 20:20:49 PDT
Feral. I like that word. And other words as well. My "artistic" mood has been like this lately.

Feral.

Bestial.

Taste.

Smell.

See.

Hunt.

Ravage.

Lupine.

Devour.

Carnal.

Flesh.

Pleasure.

Tear.

Mangle.

Violate.

Pop.

Bleed.

Heat.

Sweat.

Kill.

Relenquish.

Berserk.



Hahahahaha.

]]> ~Razekiel http://Razekiel.deviantart.com/journal/25462044/ http://Razekiel.deviantart.com/journal/25462044/ Sun, 21 Jun 2009 21:04:23 PDT I'd understand so well
But ever since I've met you child
You've made my life such hell

With every day that passes
I fall nearer to the ground
It seems that I've been looking for
Something that won't be found

I was only Dreaming
I was only trying to catch your eye
I was only wishing you would notice me
Instead you said goodbye

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It's been a while since I heard this really old song. It's good for those sad, lonely, rainy days. Too bad the sun is high up in the sky, still giving off intense summer heat when it should be the wet season already. I guess we're killing earth faster than we thought we would.

Anyway.

]]> ~Razekiel http://Razekiel.deviantart.com/journal/25405349/ http://Razekiel.deviantart.com/journal/25405349/ Thu, 18 Jun 2009 22:49:35 PDT
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Then again I'm always sick.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Stupid FHM. Have you guys seen the latest cover? RR has really huge bewbs and yet they obviously Photoshop-ed the cleavage. The same thing happened to Bangs Garcia in her Tanduay calendar.

It doesn't make sense. In all honesty, what good are big gazongas if you can't show the cleavage? You publishers are idiots! It's like how you show naked breasts but blurr the nipples to non-existence!!

Here's a tip, you idiots: if you photoshop cleavages and nipples then might as well just shoot your models fully clothed. No kidding. Who knows it could come out sexier. Right?

Riiiight.

But if you want to show tits and ass then just do so! Ignore the fucking prudes who complain that you're contributing to the downfall of society! It's these same politicians who have dozens of mistresses, it's the same church that has their priests living in condos while kids in Africa die of hunger. The problem is you guys give in so much to these so called "authorities".

Here's what I think of the authorities:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Everybody probably thinks so, but the truth is, I haven't. If I see something, I remember it. If I've taken a picture, I've always got it right here [in my head]. I don't know what it is but I'm able to pull images right out of my head- I've got a crystal clear image of how someone looked or how a horse galloped. I don't go searching through a swipe file; evertyhting I've photographed, everything I've seen, is riding around in my head, ready for em to use whenever I want it. And even then it'
s just a starting point. I've never even seen a mammoth, the guys I got into fights with weren't Conan. I've never seen the clothes or weapons or the actions I paint. It's all pulled out of thin air. An artist has to ahve imaginatioon and has to get the audience caught up in his imagination. They've gfot to see what he sees. Too many young guys today are marruies to their reference pictures - without them they're lost. That's just a dead end. You don't want people admiring your art because it looks like a photo - why not look at the photo? No, you want them to appreciate it because you're showing them something that could never be photographed. THAT'S imagination."

-Frank Frazetta, on when he asked if he used photo reference for his work.



Yeah. Inspiring. Those were the same views I had since I was a kid. I've been training my memory lately. Apparently I lack photographic memory, btu I make up for it by using logic and being abel to simplify my reference in my head. It's still my goal, that someday- maybe in three years time - I will no longer have use for photos.

]]> ~Razekiel http://Razekiel.deviantart.com/journal/25319033/ http://Razekiel.deviantart.com/journal/25319033/ Sun, 14 Jun 2009 22:44:30 PDT
Lol.

I came home last Saturday night not feeling well and a bit hot (feverish). I just remembered why i don't go to cons that much these days - the crowds. The overflowing sea of buyers, sellers, loiterers and weirdos (kidding. Don't take me seriously, but if you're die-hard feel free to send me hate mail). It's suffocating! It's nauseating!

The only perk here may be those "accidental" cop-a-feels you come across as you walk through the crowds.

Guy: "Whoops! Sorry, Didn't mean to brush my hand up against your ass."

Girl: "Then why are you still holding on to it?"

Yeah. Conventions these days are teeming with lots and lots of cosplayers. Like said in his journal, there were more cosplayers than collectors, scalpers and traders.

Half of are cosplayers are females, and 2/3 of which could be underaged. When you think about it, cons are actually hunting grounds for pedos and future pedos (lonely highschool geeks who will never get real girls because the memory of sweet young "kawaii" type girls will forever be etched into the backs of their minds). Lol.

But hey, you have to thank the girls who go in cleavage and butt-crack revealing costumes. Why? Because that's the closest to real-life, non-PVC tits and ass most of the male attendees will ever get to.



Sometimes they even get disappointed when they see the real thing.

"WHAT? THEY DON'T STAY PERT LIKE BOWLING BALLS?"

O well.

Speaking of cons. I wish the Philippines was a large country, so the market was more diverse, each trend with a seemingly equal amount of enthusiasts.

I want there to be a Heavy Metal convention. And I don't just mean the music, but the art ambiance as well. Instead of these cheesy candy-colored anime fag attire, you have people dressed as bikers, barbarians, amazons, wenches, and biker bitches, etc.

You'd have drinking booths. The booth girls would be in slave or barmaid attire. And Goth! Not Loli-goth, mind you...

Guy costumers (cosplayer sounds so weeaboo) will be well-built and not have that emo-anorexic-malnourished look.

The music would be of course heavy metal, and the bands might even have backstage orgies. Lol.

Of course it can't be helped, I bet a hundred bucks that if there was a con like that, groups of weeaboos would still flock there, dressed in their candy-pop fag costumes. So what happens to these hard headed persistent people who thinks every con is or should be an anime con?

Simple. They get beaten up and humiliated. I'm sorry for soundign harsh, but seeing every con - even the Arts and Music festival - infected by cosplayers is like seeing the zergs or xenomorphs infest every race or planet in the goddamn universe.



It made me wonder though. If there was a Heavy Metal convention, where would I find my place? I'm basically a dork. A wimp even, by physical standards: Simple.

I'd be at the forefront of artists for the said event.

Lolololol.



]]> ~Razekiel http://Razekiel.deviantart.com/journal/25315144/ http://Razekiel.deviantart.com/journal/25315144/ Sun, 14 Jun 2009 18:34:29 PDT
I wonder if those pics will be posted anytime soon.

After that and I attended an art exhibit she partook in. I saw this really pretty girl there, asked her if I could sketch her face on the spot. And it went ok.

Toni told me the girl was a model. She was also telling me, "Dude you shoulda asked her number!" How was I to know? Well, baby steps. After all it was the first time I asked a non-fellow geek stranger if I could sketch her.

I think. Or maybe it's the first I can remember.

You see, I've sketched maybe a dozen girls in my life, many of which were strangers I met during cons. But that's easy when I look at it from my current perspective. Why? Because, you belong to the same crowd. Now, try going out to a mall, and ask a random pretty girl if she could pose for you. Or approach one and give her a sketch. See?

My world was always limited. I think I should venture now.

I came home that night not feeling well and a bit hot (feverish). I just remembered why i don't go to cons that much these days - the crowds. The overflowing sea of buyers, sellers, loiterers and weirdos (kidding. Don't take me seriously, but if you're die-hard feel free to send me hate mail). It's suffocating!

The relatively roomy and cool ambience of the gallery however, is a better place to be, once in a while.

]]> ~Razekiel http://Razekiel.deviantart.com/journal/25241101/ http://Razekiel.deviantart.com/journal/25241101/ Wed, 10 Jun 2009 17:53:37 PDT Bring Down the Bitch

Hey, lady president
We all know you're devil sent
We're getting tired of all your lies

(People)Spread word across the land
We got the power in our hands
Time has come to open up your eyes!

BRING DOWN THE BITCH
AT THE STAKE WE'LL BURN THE WITCH
IT'S TIME TO END THIS DEGRADATION!!!

BRING DOWN THE BITCH
IT'S TIME TO PULL THE SWITCH
HEED THE CALL FOR A REVOLUTION!!!

BRING DOWN THE BITCH!!

She wrought destruction to us all
Now the country starts to fall
Stop the beast before it is all too late

Kill her dogs of corruption
Bring forth their total destruction
Break your chains, prisoners of fate

BRING DOWN THE BITCH
AT THE STAKE WE'LL BURN THE WITCH
IT'S TIME TO END THIS DEGRADATION!!!

BRING DOWN THE BITCH
IT'S TIME TO PULL THE SWITCH
WE KILL IN LOVE FOR THE NATION!!!

BRING DOWN THE BITCH!!

]]> ~Razekiel http://Razekiel.deviantart.com/journal/25229589/ http://Razekiel.deviantart.com/journal/25229589/ Wed, 10 Jun 2009 05:04:52 PDT Pull down hard on the lever.
Let them know that you can turn the key.
Though they try to hold us down.
Turn it up, that chainsaw sound.
I just love to see my parents flee.

So you see that they're all going nowhere.
Everybody's staring into space.
Start the fire.
Bring down the hammer.
Start start the fire.
Burning on forever.

Now I see the storm clouds a coming.
Can you feel the juice, it's a hummin'.
Feed the power cables into me.

Like a ship that's built for destruction.
I'm a metal man of construction.
And I'll fire my cannons, one by one.

So you see that they're all going nowhere.
Everybody's staring into space.
Start the fire.
Bring down the hammer.
Start start the fire.
Burning on forever.
...

Metal Church.

]]> ~Razekiel http://Razekiel.deviantart.com/journal/25203151/ http://Razekiel.deviantart.com/journal/25203151/ Mon, 08 Jun 2009 18:33:55 PDT Public enemy number one. Do you understand?

Lock up your daughter, lock up your wife, lock up your backdoor and run for your life! The man is back in town... so don't mess around.


Coz I'm TNT, I'm dynamite!
TNT, and I'll win the fight!
TNT, I'm a power load!

TNT, WATCH ME EXPLODE!!!


You got that right. I'm TNT. Tenacious Nicholas Trinidad.

I'm gonna get what I want -

Except-

- my own house. Though I do plan to move out. I feel pathetic being 25 and still living with my folks. In a third-world nation like ours, these days it's hard to save up especially since you contribute to the house, spend on groceries (gotta stop buying toys, even though they keep me sane I need self-discipline).

It's so cool how in other countries you can move out at 18 and still enjoy your life.

- a harem of Scandinavian and Eastern European chicks. Customs is more strict these days when it comes to human trafficking.

- a car. A Lamborgini Diablo at that. Gloria had mine destroyed when it came here a few years ago. Damn customs.

- Richard Gutierrez-good looks. I was supposed to be Belo's guinea pig but Hayden Kho stole my spot. He also stole my chicks. I was supposed to be the one in those sex vids, not him! Damn bastard.

- maybe... the affections... or being like backed by someone I really adore (this is the part where you go, "Awwwwwww...")

>_> But what the hell, lots of people in the world, besides I'm too bogged down with work and trying to make the best of my talents- training my sketching skills.

I'm thinking of trying out some things now that I'm 25. I'd like to relearn the guitar for one. The chance is 50-50, since old age tends to diminish your (physiological) flexibility. Yep. Once you hit 25 your already OLD. 30, and you're ancient. 40 and you're a relic. 50 above, and you're a fossil.



But maybe there is hope since I can still train my left hand to draw... maybe I could still train it to do painstaking chord poses.

"Uh GOD THE F CHORD!! ACK! MY FINGERS!!! A friggin cripes!!"

Hmm. I want to take up photography. Only one problem... my SLR is ancient and it doesn't have shutter speed control. It's gonna take me a gazillion months to save up for a new one.

So, I'll be a relic when the time comes. Yeah. I wanna photograph for nude-glam-erotic-porn shit, starting innocent with Domai, then I'll move on to semi-softcore porn like Met-Art, then to Errotica, and keep climbing up the ladder 'til I end up doing photography for HornyBustyTeenSluts.com or something of the like.

"Yeah, pose for me, baby, spread em cough cough, lips. *dentures fall off*"

Then I'll try to seduce my models so I can f*ck their pretty brains out. Of course I'll have to down maybe 3 pills of Viagra by that time, and use denture glue so my dentures won't pop out at the point of climax.

Hmm. What else should I do.

Yeah. Now I remember. I wanna join a rally for once. Part of me hopes Gloria doesn't step down so it will cause chaos and uprising. That way I can mayeb get my fair share of violence.

"TAKE THAT MR. POLICEMAN!! F*CK YOU!!!"

Then again, I'm a coward by nature, so I guess my real initial reaction would be...

"RUN TO THE HILLS!! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!"

Am I too old to sing in a band? Haha, granted if I can sing. Fine, laugh all you want.

Lol.

Life goes on.

This year I just wanna draw.







~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

]]> ~Razekiel http://Razekiel.deviantart.com/journal/25117289/ http://Razekiel.deviantart.com/journal/25117289/ Wed, 03 Jun 2009 23:52:05 PDT
So I can't view many of my downloaded pictures on my psp because their resolution is high. I tried using the PEP-viewer ver 08, but it wouldn't load properly, it says "corrupt" even after 5 downlaods of the said picture viewer. Of course I can lower the resolution of the images on Photoshop, but I am in the office and I can't do that to my uhh... "reference" pictures in front of the people here.

Does anyone here know a decent link to a PSP pic viewer?

]]> ~Razekiel