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        <title>deviantART: by:Red-pistal</title>
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        <pubDate>Fri, 04 Dec 2009 14:14:05 PST</pubDate>        
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                  <item>
                <title>Devious Journal Entry</title>
                <link>http://Red-pistal.deviantart.com/journal/13253200/</link>
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                <pubDate>Thu, 07 Jun 2007 13:58:12 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ This is the last time I will be on deviant art. Good bie every one and John call me as soon as you reconnect your phone.<br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>~Red-pistal</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>cool</title>
                <link>http://Red-pistal.deviantart.com/journal/12838914/</link>
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                <pubDate>Fri, 04 May 2007 11:01:48 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ I think I might be able to get the one I love back or did I already susseed?  I dont know and I dont care as long as he does NOT hate  me then Im happy.  I love him a lot and nothing is ever gonna change that.  When I say nothing I mean NOTHING.<br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>~Red-pistal</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>Sorry</title>
                <link>http://Red-pistal.deviantart.com/journal/12801670/</link>
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                <pubDate>Tue, 01 May 2007 10:21:41 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ Seeing his avatar, simple, plane, cold, black avatar I am only reminded of how much I hurt him and how I want him back.  I am now told that they dont care who I date anymore.  I may only love one guy, the one guy who just may not like me what so ever.  I dont blame him, I did hurt him pritty bad.  I cant get him off my mind.  I cant stop dreaming about him.  Also I dont want to stop.  I want to remeber him for as long as I live.  I will never love anyone but him.  I will never date anyone but him.  It would not feel right at all.  You may think that Im just being desprite, stupid, or even boy crazy. However I dont care what you think of me.  I dont even care if he hates me.  Yes if he does it will hurt me alot but ill deserve it.  Even if he hates me I will always love him.  Even if I dont act like it I always will love him.<br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>~Red-pistal</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>Devious Journal Entry</title>
                <link>http://Red-pistal.deviantart.com/journal/12788404/</link>
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                <pubDate>Mon, 30 Apr 2007 09:25:11 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ ouch.<br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>~Red-pistal</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>In trouble and worried</title>
                <link>http://Red-pistal.deviantart.com/journal/12740748/</link>
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                <pubDate>Thu, 26 Apr 2007 09:46:51 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ Well last weekend I went to my best friends birthday party and did not tell my dad that John was going to be there.  That was my mistake.  now I'm 2nd period in the libary felling extreamly giluty.  Every time I get home I'm back in the hot seat.  Nicole has not been felling well for the past couple of days and has not been to school.  I'm veary worried about her.  Every time I call her no one picks up.  Does any one ever picks up the phone any more?  Some of her other friends say that she has called them and they keep on telling e that she is passing out all the time and stuff.  I wish i can get a hold of her but for now there is nothing I can do.<br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>~Red-pistal</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>Devious Journal Entry</title>
                <link>http://Red-pistal.deviantart.com/journal/12666161/</link>
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                <pubDate>Fri, 20 Apr 2007 10:24:41 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ i just could not look at the last journal so  had to change it.<br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>~Red-pistal</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>uuummm...what now?!?!?!</title>
                <link>http://Red-pistal.deviantart.com/journal/12616463/</link>
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                <pubDate>Mon, 16 Apr 2007 09:05:51 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ spent the noght at a friends place on firday,and her brother just happend to be my ex boyfriend.  The whole time he was looking at me with these annoing sad puppy dog eyes.  I hate it when he gives me that look.  my friend went with her mom somewhere and thats when he made his move.  I was sitting on the couch whating for my friend to return homeand then her brother sat next to me.  Then out of the blue he says "I love you."  I look over at him unshure of what to do.  then he just pounces on me and starts to french kiss me!!!  while he is kissing me his hands slid into my shirt and trys to unhook my bra!!!  I shove him off me and sit back up and told him to buzz off.  He just sat there smiling at me and I was trying to watch the movie.  I could not even think about the movie because all I could think about was how much he sucked at kissing.  I did not notce that his hand was now on my knee untill he sead, "I'm glad we are back together."  I stared at him for a long time and he stared right back with that look I hate.  He leans in to kiss me again but I push him away and went outside.  He fowllos me out.  I tell him to leave me alone.  He asks why.  Then he grabs me, pulls me close to him and kisses me again.  I push him back and punched him and all he does is smie now he looks like he is in a trance or something.  My firend finnaly came back home and I stayed wiht her and the idiot kept on staring at me.  Later at night I was asleep on the couch and he sneeks out of his room and starts to cuddle with me!!!!!!  I did not relize he was there untill he rubs my head.  I elbow him in the stomic and tell thi to get into his own bed.  So he leaves.  Finnaly its saturday and time for me to go home and he was nowhere in sight.  An hour after I get home he calls me telling me that he misses me and such.  I tell him not to call me and to move on with his life.  5 minets later he calls back.  this time I get on to him about the last time we dated I kepy on getting in trouble becaucase he called too many times.  Then he calls again 3 hours later.  I tell him to let me have a life whith out him.  Then he says, "why would I like a bald, cold hearted bich like you?  Then he hangs up on me.  I'm still kind of confusesd and suff.  John I love you lots.<br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>~Red-pistal</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>Devious Journal Entry</title>
                <link>http://Red-pistal.deviantart.com/journal/12552697/</link>
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                <pubDate>Wed, 11 Apr 2007 11:40:47 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ I'm an idiot!!!!!  I fell for Jennifers nlies again and now I feel really stupid.  Please dont ask what she lied about this time.  I hate being that damn gollible!!!!!!!  The worst part is that I already got onto my boyfriend because of what she sead and now he wont even talk to me. Man I really screwed up this time.  When I go to the school for a meeting on the 25th Im gonna kick jennifers ass!!!!  Oh whait I cant concerdring the fact that she is huge and looks like a guy and I am small and scroney with arms that are like twigs!!!!!!!  DAMN FUCKEN TUMMER!!!!!  WHY DID U DECIDE TO GROW INSIDE OF ME!!!!!!!!<br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>~Red-pistal</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>quizze</title>
                <link>http://Red-pistal.deviantart.com/journal/12458868/</link>
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                <pubDate>Wed, 04 Apr 2007 15:41:14 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ thank you Eveion and Blau-feuer for cheering me up.  Now im just bord So im just asking questions because Im bord.  <br />
<br />
What is ur fav color?<br />
<br />
What is ur weakness?<br />
<br />
What is ur past time?<br />
<br />
What is ur fav animal?<br />
<br />
What is your weponn of choice?<br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>~Red-pistal</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>Death</title>
                <link>http://Red-pistal.deviantart.com/journal/12443279/</link>
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                <pubDate>Tue, 03 Apr 2007 10:59:37 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ Death is just part of life.  It is the end resut to every thing.  Some even wish for death. Others are already dead inside.  As long as they still breath then there is still hope for life.  Every living thing is veary fragile.  Wether you go out with a boom or not is never up to you.  In less you are dumb enough to kill your self off.  If you are one of those people then dont do it.  You have no idea what will happen to the ones who loves and cares about you.  If you think that one one will care then you have a clue.  My Dad is veary cold and he says if people wanna die then every one should back off and let them do it.  Today is Lady's last day of life.  She is a 10 year old dog who has lived a hard life.  She never once winned or cryed.  She never even gave any one sad puppy dog eyes.  She was brave, strong, and most importantly, happy.  This is how I will rember her for all enternaly.  She was the first true friend I ever had.  I wish I can at least say good bie to her in person, but I guss this will have to do.  <br />
<br />
     To my friend, Lady,<br />
<br />
 I love you.  Forever fairwell for now.<br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>~Red-pistal</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>stupid shows</title>
                <link>http://Red-pistal.deviantart.com/journal/12428361/</link>
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                <pubDate>Mon, 02 Apr 2007 09:18:44 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ Has any one seen the show are you smarter than a 5th greader?  I think the show was compleatly stupid.  They had comercal between every question.  In the end the adult gets all of the money.  Oh, never mind about the little ten year olds who I made the money from I'm gong surfing with some bonehead who spent most of his school days in the princables office.  I mean really, its just a show where an adult looses there dignety and make mony off of 5th greaders.  anouther stupid show is American Idle.  Yes i am gonna bash on them and no I dont care if you love that show or not.  Now that show is only to make people look stupid and retarted.  The only thing good about that show is Simon Cowell.  I like him.  He says what he thinks and is not afread to say it loud and proud.  Palas too nice, and Ruben, well hes just there.  My Mom loves these shows.  She a cold hearted bicth who tryed to raise me to hate everything I love.  She even tryed to make me into a good for nothing danm glod digging, cheating, hateful, rasest, bich like her self.  HA!!!  I saw for myself what road that would lead ya to.  right now she is livig with her mother with my 3 year old half sister and no husband.  Hopefully she wont date again.  If she does I'll chase that guy away.  I'll feel sorry for her next boyfirend, cause I'll be torching that poor bastred.<br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>~Red-pistal</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>Love means nothing without John</title>
                <link>http://Red-pistal.deviantart.com/journal/12350442/</link>
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                <pubDate>Tue, 27 Mar 2007 13:36:58 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ His voice is so comforting.  Last night I talked to him on the phone.  I tryed to pay attion to what he was saying, but his voice was too distracting.  Its sounds so sweet.  It made me feel so safe.  With him I forget all about my troubles.  I struggled not to insult the stupid things he says and to keep him talking as much as possible.  He actually wants me to insult him, but I try not to because I love him.  I would never want to hurt him.  So I am trying to let go of my cold ways I got from my Dad.  At times it is really hard.  However I try my best.  I love him with all of my life.<br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>~Red-pistal</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>NNNNNOOOOO!!! NO NO NO NO!!</title>
                <link>http://Red-pistal.deviantart.com/journal/12300208/</link>
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                <pubDate>Fri, 23 Mar 2007 17:27:50 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ My old dog I had scinse I was littel might be put down!!!!  She is not really mine but I still concered her as mine.  I had Lady before my parents got devorced I think I was around maybe around 6 or 7 years old.  after the devorce I viseted my Dad and Lady every other weekend.  Then my Dad met my step mom Maria and they got marred. About a year later Dad went to war in Iraq for 2 years so I was no longer alowed to be over there because my Mom hates Maria.  When Dad left thats when my sister moved in with Maria.  When Dad came back Lady moved in with me and my Mom.  By that time Mom was already remarred wiht an abusive guy.  Every time He would get violent Lady would hide with me and my babysister in my room.  By then I was already about 14.  Then on Oct. 8th I had enough of Gene threating me so I moved in with my Dad.  By then my older sis was out on her own.  I did not see Lady for about a year.  Lori found her out on the streets and took her in.I guss after I left my Mom got smart took my lil sis and ran to CA.  Left Gene by his self.  Gene unable to even take care of his self probly moved in with a curch family and left Lady.  I got to see Lady on wedsday.  Lady is in a lot of pain.  she is probly 12 years old.  She might be put down any day. I'm gonna miss her alot.  There is no hope for her any more. ME SOOOOO SAD!!!!!!!!  LADY!!!!!!  I MISS YOU!!!!!!!!!    YOU WHERE THE BEST DOG THERE EVER WAS!!!!!<br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>~Red-pistal</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>A Good Day</title>
                <link>http://Red-pistal.deviantart.com/journal/12233877/</link>
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                <pubDate>Sun, 18 Mar 2007 14:33:57 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ Today my Mom was sick so I'm spending the day taking care of her, right now she is taking a nap.  I love my Mom, she never gets me pissed.  I also made a new friend today which is rare because I never leave the house.  I met Her on this web site.  My Dad would not leave me alone this morning.  He kept on buggen me about all the guys I have dated.   Yes I admit SOME of them are dirt bags with out a clue, but I did date some desent guys.  My Dad wants me to go out with one of his friends sons.  I told my Dad I would when idiots became the smartest people ever alive.  This kid my Dad wants me to date is crazy!!!  He is trying to make his own band, but he cant even sing.  also he has no idea on how to play any instruments what so ever!!!  He does not plan on learning how to play eather.  He said that he and the band are just gonna go up there and TRY to play.  I would rather go through a million more rounds of Chemo then go one 1 pitty date with that dummy!!!  My Dad just likes him because he is 17 and thinks hes going to make it to collage. HHHAAA!!!!!  I doubt it.<br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>~Red-pistal</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>Revenge</title>
                <link>http://Red-pistal.deviantart.com/journal/12135986/</link>
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                <pubDate>Sat, 10 Mar 2007 20:09:40 PST</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ Before I tell you what I have been doing let me tell you what my Dad has been doing.  He ate all of my candy bars and only left the sour worms that makes me sick, never saves leftovers for me, makes stupid commets about stuff I like, makes me break up with my boyfriend, trys to get me to date someone that I see as a brother,  he got me mad because he made a big deal about me forgetting that its garbage day, Also he wakse me up early in the morning and makes me walk in the cold with him and he expects me to keep up with him!!!  So now I have eaten all of his pudding because he ate my candy, beaten him to the leftovers because he never leaves me any, and put hot souce in his food because he cant handle hot and spicy stuff to save his life and he makes stupid commets about stuff I like, also he THINKS I broke up with my boyfriend but I never even called him.  Yep John and I are sitll happly going out.  However Im not compleatly satified yet.<br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>~Red-pistal</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>Hello</title>
                <link>http://Red-pistal.deviantart.com/journal/12082108/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://Red-pistal.deviantart.com/journal/12082108/</guid>
                <pubDate>Tue, 06 Mar 2007 14:49:27 PST</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ Hello deviants!!!  Im felling happy how bout you?  Write how your felling in the commets.  Or if you want, tell me what your dreams in the notes and I can tell you what they mean.<br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>~Red-pistal</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>nutthan</title>
                <link>http://Red-pistal.deviantart.com/journal/11936218/</link>
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                <pubDate>Fri, 23 Feb 2007 15:06:18 PST</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ Well one of my friends got me ticked.  He got caught buying weed at school and even though he is getting held back again he wont quit.  I know its none of my bisnuss but blive it or not I care about that boenheaded, peverted, nitwit of an Idiot!!  I tryed to convinec him to quit but I failed.  He is never gonna graduate highschool at this rate.  Then the next day I went with my Dad to a meeting at my school so I can do a online acadmy thingy.  I tryed to find my boyfriend, John, but I couldent find him.  I keep on getting this odd feeling that he is upset with me for something.  Then last night I had the crazest dream.  I was on a date with John then I heard a girl scream.  We went to see what was going on and flowed the screams and they lead us to this old abonded cabbed in the middle of the city.  We picked through one of the windows then John fell down dead!!!  He was shot in the face.  I stare at him in shock then yell OH, HELL NO!!!!!  then I jumped through the windo and angerly curse out the guy with the gun.  He yells at me to shut up and slaps me accross the face.  I fall onto a couch more pissed than ever.  In the cushin I find a pink gun.  Too pissed to even care that it was pink I aim the gun at his head.  thats when he opened fire.  He shot me 5 times in the feet.  Im gonna end your life he says.  And then I shot the wall but veary close to his head 3 times and then i sead not if I end yours first.  He says oh shit and shoots nr several times in the head.  I managed to shoot him once and kill him.  Then turn the berrle to my forehead and put myself out of my misery.  I still cant figure out why the hell the gun was pink for.  Ill look it up in my dream decoder book later.<br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>~Red-pistal</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>Me so happy!!!</title>
                <link>http://Red-pistal.deviantart.com/journal/11892834/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://Red-pistal.deviantart.com/journal/11892834/</guid>
                <pubDate>Tue, 20 Feb 2007 10:04:25 PST</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ I have never been so happy in all my life!  I was not shure about something but now Im most positive about it and Im gonna ignore what my family says because they dont have a damn clue.  I have never been happer with anyone till I met him!!!<br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>~Red-pistal</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>Im back</title>
                <link>http://Red-pistal.deviantart.com/journal/11880344/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://Red-pistal.deviantart.com/journal/11880344/</guid>
                <pubDate>Mon, 19 Feb 2007 10:44:32 PST</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ sup world!?!?!?!<br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>~Red-pistal</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>See ya!!!</title>
                <link>http://Red-pistal.deviantart.com/journal/11805980/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://Red-pistal.deviantart.com/journal/11805980/</guid>
                <pubDate>Tue, 13 Feb 2007 22:07:33 PST</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ Well if you read the last journel entry then you probly already know I wont be here for a few days.  I'll be in bed sick from all the love, care, and Chemotherapy.  at least  I'll get my nintendo ds back.  Oh and John If you are reading this then sorry I couldent get that slide show to ya I worked on it for 3 days.  I'll find away to get it to you.  even if it kills me.<br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>~Red-pistal</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>Whate a minute!!!!</title>
                <link>http://Red-pistal.deviantart.com/journal/11788943/</link>
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                <pubDate>Mon, 12 Feb 2007 17:19:28 PST</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ I was staring at the calender for a freacking hour then I relised, today is the 12th of Febuary!!!! tomarrw I have to get up early for a damn hearing test then go down to the clinq so they can stick a needle in my chest then send me home with it in.  Then on the 14th I have to wake up early and go back to the hospital so they can put me on Chemotherapy again so I'll have to stay there for a few days and hope I dont get sick!!!!  DAMN THIS SUCKS!!!!!!!!  I rather go to school and flirt with my boyfriend!!!!!  I miss my friends!!!  I miss my teachers!!! HELL I EVEN MISS THE PEOPLE I DONT EVEN LIKE!!!!!!!  I havent seen my boyfriend since Novbember and I keep on having nightmares that he is cheating on me wicth I know he is not doing it because I call my most trusted friends every day and they would tell me auotmatically if he was.  I NEED TO GET THE HELL AWAY FROM HEAR AND GET BACK TO SCHOOL!!!!!  THE DOCTERS DONT LET ME SLEEP!!!  THEY WAKE ME UP EVERY 5 MINUTES JUST BECAUES THEY WANNA DO MY VITALS OR INJECT DRUGS THAT MAKES ME TWICH INTO ME!!!!  THEY ALWAYS SEND 50 PEOPLE IN THE SAME DAMN ROOM JUST TO ASK YOU IF YOUR IN ANY PAIN OR EVEN THE DUMEST QUESTIONS!!!!!  LIKE THIS ONE TIME A NURSE HAD INJECTED BINADRIL IN ME THEN I THREW UP ON HIM THEN HE ASKED IF I FELT SICK!!!!  NO IM NOT SICK THAT WAS JUST A GREETING.  i FEEL JUST FINE ACTUALLY!!! (sarcasim) the nurse is actually pritty cool.  He stays up all night with me and we play  Donky Kong.  I could never make it out of the 2nd levle.<br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>~Red-pistal</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>Poetry</title>
                <link>http://Red-pistal.deviantart.com/journal/11778977/</link>
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                <pubDate>Sun, 11 Feb 2007 20:41:16 PST</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ Im so proud of myself!!!  I finnaly wrote a poem that is not too long.  When I get up set about something I wright it out.  Thats the best way I can calm down.  I cant whate till my hair grows back!!  When it dose im planning on doing more with it.  depends on what my boyfriend likes.  I hope my dad dont find my butter finger crisp.  He'll eat all those up so I cant have any then tell me to get over it.  but I hid it in the perfect hiding spot.  Its behind the big otmeal box.  He will never be able to find them.  As if Im gonna let him know we have them!!!  I know what your are probly thinking, She needs to get a life!!!  Well I agree with you.  Sadly this is all I can do around the house when im not busy trying to be perfect.  At least my typing has inproved.  I love my new dogs!!  I hate to admit it but I like Sherman better than Barny because Sherman dose not jump on any one.  Barny jumped on me just the other day and nocked me over.  but I love Barny because he will be traned and he is only a year old.  I think Jessica, the dog accross the street will like him.  They would make a cute coupple.  Too bad Barny has already been nuttered.<br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>~Red-pistal</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>GGGRRRRRR.....DAD!!!!!!</title>
                <link>http://Red-pistal.deviantart.com/journal/11749267/</link>
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                <pubDate>Fri, 09 Feb 2007 15:43:49 PST</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ Today my dad got me ticked twice.  He made a stupid commet about my boyfriend then when I went to get my cat scan done with my grand parents my dad had came home and when he left he took the dog with him.  When we came back we did not know he had the dog so we went out looking for him.  When we came back my grand ma called dad only to have him laugh at us.  I hate cat scans!!!!<br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>~Red-pistal</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>my Love!!!</title>
                <link>http://Red-pistal.deviantart.com/journal/11737743/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://Red-pistal.deviantart.com/journal/11737743/</guid>
                <pubDate>Thu, 08 Feb 2007 16:40:04 PST</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ Im extreamly happy!  every time something awsome is thoght about or happens my nose bleeds because my heart pounds faster and faster.  luckly its not bleeding any more.  I love my new dogs, Sherman, and Barny!  I love my dragons, music, friends, and family.<br />
But most of all I shure as hell love my Boyfriend!!!!!!<br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>~Red-pistal</author>
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