http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:Reyknow&section=today deviantART RSS for by:Reyknow en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Wed, 02 Dec 2009 21:12:03 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://Reyknow.deviantart.com/journal/23443583/ http://Reyknow.deviantart.com/journal/23443583/ Sat, 28 Feb 2009 01:34:15 PST
]]> ~Reyknow http://Reyknow.deviantart.com/journal/22272225/ http://Reyknow.deviantart.com/journal/22272225/ Tue, 30 Dec 2008 02:12:11 PST

first part was, i saw myself in 3rd person, looking up at the clouds. the sky looked very strange, streaks of red and grey clouds. and at the end of it there was a huge silhoutte of a dragon. the dragon's color was black and looks like the ones you can see in chinese paintings. i then heard myself say "its an omen" or "its a sign".

next scene was in a mall or a market, i wasnt able to distinguish, all i know is that it was indoors and had lots of people in it. i could see everyone arguing, some screaming at each other, some just plain screaming at themselves. then i heard a voice in my head saying that we must evalute ourselves before we could start fixing our society(?), something like that.

third was back at home, dawn, i was standing just outside our house. one of the neighbours ran to the middle of the street screaming "somebody did this!", then another one of the meighbours went outside saying, "well it wasnt me, maybe its you!" then before you know it theres mob outside a block away from our house, screaming and shouting and blaming each other for something i have no idea about. then i retreated inside, locked the gate, stared at them till it got dark.



the whole time everyone was arguing and screaming at each other. and the image of that black dragon omen is still in my head.

]]> ~Reyknow http://Reyknow.deviantart.com/journal/20922476/ http://Reyknow.deviantart.com/journal/20922476/ Fri, 10 Oct 2008 14:35:02 PDT
]]> ~Reyknow http://Reyknow.deviantart.com/journal/20802585/ http://Reyknow.deviantart.com/journal/20802585/ Fri, 03 Oct 2008 01:41:52 PDT almost a 2/3 of the world is living in poverty.
the world is in need for a good idea.
we have to raise our consciousness.
get rid of all the fear and bullsiht.
we need a revolution.

if this really is deviant art, anyone can talk about shit or anything. no man can shut me up.

]]> ~Reyknow http://Reyknow.deviantart.com/journal/20802429/ http://Reyknow.deviantart.com/journal/20802429/ Fri, 03 Oct 2008 01:07:07 PDT under the direction of President Harry Truman
and in the interest of national security
A group of twelve top military scientific personnel were established
This group's primary objective
was to desensitize us to the truth
And to suppress the material evidence that our planet is being visited
by a group of extraterrestrial biological entities called the grays
sometimes the road to the truth is, so elusive it's confusin
And reality becomes illusion
If I showed the masses where we was at or where we was goin
I'd shatter the social balance of the world as we know it
I'm talkin bout the grand deception, of 1947
When our souls were sold to the heavens
for technologically advanced weapons
Crystal enhanced, brain implants, and mind control methods
MJ-12 is not majestic
And the focal point of our problems on this planet are not domestic
You can accept it or be stupid and be a skeptic
and fail to recognize the secret society's deathwish
Ninety-seven percent of our Presidents were Masons
Responsible for launderin trillions of dollars from the nation
for the construction of underground military installations
Abductions and cattle mutilations
Experiments on human patients
can take place in several subterranean bases
A hundred and fifty stories below a basement
With knowledge of genetic information, you need to fear science not Satan
Cause through the manipulation of certain biological agents
they create strange creations
Top secret special operations
Low frequency sounds and lasers, people like Carl Sagan
that didn't believe in the Drake equation
were tryin to keep Western civilization on the need-to-know basis
Well you need to know that this is a game
and we're bein betrayed and played in the worst way
Yo, the holy script from Genesis 1-26
says, "Let us make man in our image under our likeness"
First of all who's THEY? You see if God
was truly a single entity that's not what he would say
We as the Elohim, Gods and Goddesses
posess a marvelously monsterous subconscious
Lifeforms that speak, in very high pitched sounds and squeaks
Short staccato clicks and beeps
A highly advanced form of speech
Even though to us it seems like they only chatterin they teeth
They used to swim deep in the oceans beneath
Til they fins transformed into limbs and they started to creep
Then they evolved into mammals with feet
And walked right from the shorelines onto the beach
They used gravity, cause it's actually the only force around
that could slow time and the speed of light down
The energy grid network, opened the gateway from Earth
to any point in the universe
Livin organisms and various, geomagnetic gravitational, anomaly areas
Space expedition teams in the lunar regions
reported seein, decapyramids and tetrahedrons
Liquid filled shoes, is what they used
to walk across the moon without leavin a clue
of where they been for the past twenty-three billion years
Before life on the surface even appeared
I hope you become aware what I'm spittin in your ear
was intended to stimulate your left-brain's hemisphere
I know it sounds weird, all these motherfuckin answers
and questions to the grand deception

]]> ~Reyknow http://Reyknow.deviantart.com/journal/20601950/ http://Reyknow.deviantart.com/journal/20601950/ Sun, 21 Sep 2008 12:40:22 PDT
these soldiers are beating up unarmed little kids.

US and British Army are idiots, and also Fascists: free Iraq
[link]

]]> ~Reyknow http://Reyknow.deviantart.com/journal/20295337/ http://Reyknow.deviantart.com/journal/20295337/ Tue, 02 Sep 2008 17:36:54 PDT
if you looked at the earth as a living organism, like if your on a plane flying to LA, youll see the mountains and the ocean ahead, it all looks natural and beatiful, but then you see LA. WTF is that? thats a growth! thats cancer! its big, and its brown, and it stinks, and you see smoke coming out of it, and it grows every year.

i think if your an intelligent life form from another planet looking at the earth, you wouldnt see individual people. you would see mold on a sandwich."

-Joe Rogan

yeah. Joe Rogan. the guy from UFC, Fear Factor, and a standup comedian.

[[link]

]]> ~Reyknow http://Reyknow.deviantart.com/journal/20265454/ http://Reyknow.deviantart.com/journal/20265454/ Mon, 01 Sep 2008 05:57:03 PDT
ive been researching about all these stuff that no one usually cares about. we live our lives as simple as we possibly can; we have enough problems to deal with like money, relationships, etc. and i get it i understand that. nobody has the time or the guts to ask about these things, because most of us fear that people might look at you in a different way; they might think youre crazy or a hippie or that kind of bullshit. but truth is its not.

2 months ago, i started using hemp again. i used to smoke a lot of these back when i was in high school. i think its normal, you know, after school specials. but now im older and wiser, and i moderate myself anyway, and i never got addicted.

like i said i started using hemp again, and while i was i high i watch "big bang theory". its a show about physicists socializing with non geeky types. anyway, i got interested about some of theyre geeky remarks and started researching about them. and most of the stuff i came across will blow your mind.

my ideas are a bit fragmented and kinda scattered so ill be writing more of them later.

if you got any comments or anything dont be reluctant to reply, id love to read opinions and comments from everyone.

]]> ~Reyknow http://Reyknow.deviantart.com/journal/19068316/ http://Reyknow.deviantart.com/journal/19068316/ Fri, 27 Jun 2008 02:40:58 PDT
im gonna go out tonight. see if a few brewskis could cure this ailment

]]> ~Reyknow http://Reyknow.deviantart.com/journal/19049913/ http://Reyknow.deviantart.com/journal/19049913/ Thu, 26 Jun 2008 02:26:05 PDT
im gonna make a journal its gonna take about a year to finish. each day im gonna write something about what i did or something i threw away that helped me forgot about her that day. it requires a lot of commitment. its just that this is what i have to do in order to forget her. im gonna start today, and ill finish it by next year same day. im gonna write on the last page that in order to truly forget her, i have to take away my last remaining link to you, which is the journal itself.

i think im not supposed to talk to you anymore. thats why im writing in this journal. im making this my first entry in my journal. instead of talking to you, im gonna write in this journal instead. because i realized now that i cant start forgetting you if i still talk to you. but nothing wrong with writing about you right?

]]> ~Reyknow http://Reyknow.deviantart.com/journal/18663676/ http://Reyknow.deviantart.com/journal/18663676/ Wed, 04 Jun 2008 14:20:56 PDT
i thought i could stay away from her but i couldnt.

it was all a temporary fix

reality slapped me last night

she said vacations over and you had it

you had your final gasp

oh reality

ease your way in

knock on my door before you come in

she took her shoes off

slept on the bed with me

gave me a whisper and told me

i think id like to stay here

]]> ~Reyknow http://Reyknow.deviantart.com/journal/18605597/ http://Reyknow.deviantart.com/journal/18605597/ Sun, 01 Jun 2008 07:27:14 PDT
I WANT TO FUCKING EXPLODE.

DONT KNOW HOW TO RID MYSELF OF THIS DAMN THORN.

I HATE IT WHEN YOU BREAK YOUR PROMISES.

I HATE THE FACT THAT I KNOW WHAT YOURE REALLY DOING.

I HATE THE FACT THAT IM HERE AND YOURE THERE.

]]> ~Reyknow http://Reyknow.deviantart.com/journal/18220876/ http://Reyknow.deviantart.com/journal/18220876/ Thu, 08 May 2008 01:44:36 PDT
]]> ~Reyknow http://Reyknow.deviantart.com/journal/17700413/ http://Reyknow.deviantart.com/journal/17700413/ Sat, 05 Apr 2008 14:19:28 PDT
its my plan to "disappear" from everyone. im gonna change my number, my email, my home, every piece of contact info about me will either be gone or false. the only people im gonna leave my real number will be the guys from work, my parents, and 2 or 3 of my friends.

i need this. i gotta get away. the only thing thats keeping me from going insane right now is that game that im not even supposed to talk about b/c its embarassing. i cant talk to anyone. i need a break, a real one. and this time, im not kidding around.

]]> ~Reyknow http://Reyknow.deviantart.com/journal/17599925/ http://Reyknow.deviantart.com/journal/17599925/ Mon, 31 Mar 2008 03:05:33 PDT
]]> ~Reyknow http://Reyknow.deviantart.com/journal/17559242/ http://Reyknow.deviantart.com/journal/17559242/ Fri, 28 Mar 2008 15:01:03 PDT
im drunk, just went airsofting w/ a friend. kinda like playing counter strike for real. went drinking afterwards. still cant get my head straight. cant stop thinkin what youre doing right now. hope ur doing the right thing. i really miss you. me and my stupid mouth. if only i could get myself to stop being like this. im gonna lose more weight. im gonna win that bet. kinda bored. feeling uselesss. want to write a song, dont want to sound emo. i still miss you thou. wonder why. i hate this. i hate myself. i wish everythings back to normal. im stoned. im drunk. i wish youre here.

]]> ~Reyknow http://Reyknow.deviantart.com/journal/17550950/ http://Reyknow.deviantart.com/journal/17550950/ Fri, 28 Mar 2008 01:32:28 PDT
shit.. me and my stupid mouth..

]]> ~Reyknow http://Reyknow.deviantart.com/journal/17530617/ http://Reyknow.deviantart.com/journal/17530617/ Wed, 26 Mar 2008 18:39:47 PDT
]]> ~Reyknow http://Reyknow.deviantart.com/journal/17292258/ http://Reyknow.deviantart.com/journal/17292258/ Tue, 11 Mar 2008 19:19:05 PDT
i need a goddamn break. yeah a break, i know i know, my work isnt supposed to be this stressful right now that im always working from home but goddamnit i need a fucking break! not just from work, but from everything else too! especially from her ha ha! fuck this crap! you know why, huh? why? because everytime shes around i cant get myself to keep it together! i panic, i feel jealous, im crap! why doesnt this sumbitch have an off switch?!?! how the fuck do i turn this goddamn feeling off?!!? and fuck why why dont i have a life away from the computer?!?! fuck yeah i know i kinda do but what the fuck dude it still aint enough!!i spend 80 fucking percent of my goddamn day in front of a goddamn monitor!! i fucking hate every shit part of my life right now shit!! is there a goddamn happy pill that has no consequence whatsoever that i can take?!? lame ass piece of shit fuck!

]]> ~Reyknow http://Reyknow.deviantart.com/journal/17066618/ http://Reyknow.deviantart.com/journal/17066618/ Mon, 25 Feb 2008 23:37:21 PST
]]> ~Reyknow http://Reyknow.deviantart.com/journal/16911691/ http://Reyknow.deviantart.com/journal/16911691/ Sat, 16 Feb 2008 09:36:29 PST
i cant stop myself from falling head over heels for you again!!! i gotta let go but i cant!!! i just fuckin cant!!! not that im mad or anything im actually glad!!! but what the hell dude i cant seem to get over you!!! WAAAAAA

everyone knows were not gonna end up together anyway, even i do, but what the hell is wrong with me why do i keep falling for you?!

thinking aloud again......

]]> ~Reyknow http://Reyknow.deviantart.com/journal/16734223/ http://Reyknow.deviantart.com/journal/16734223/ Tue, 05 Feb 2008 06:06:17 PST
digg it >> [link]

feels like febuary's gonna be a busy month. got a lot more stuff to do. my boss is leaving for some game conference next week and i have to prepare a demoreel or something. got this gig that i have to come to on the 16th plus its someones grad day. driver's license finally tomorrow. lecture in dela salle university on the 22. sailing and surfing. gonna have to ask the local boxing gym bout their membership fees. im trying to lose weight again. i need to lose like 20 more pounds. i always say this, gonna try to stop smoking too again. i got this weird ass sore throat and been coughing for more than a week now. mornings are the worst i can barely talk. i promised myself that if i lose 20 pounds before like june or something, im gonna get that monitor/tablet, get a tattoo, then dreadlocks. wow its only 10pm and i already feel so tired and sleepy. must be the 50+lbs of luggage ive been carrying around all day.

]]> ~Reyknow http://Reyknow.deviantart.com/journal/16337729/ http://Reyknow.deviantart.com/journal/16337729/ Wed, 09 Jan 2008 23:52:22 PST
a line "Love Stargirl", sequel to the book "Stargirl" that really affected my life. I wasnt planning on reading it now, I was thinking I should read it like next year or something, because ITS STARGIRL! THIS BOOK WAS MY LIFE. I subconsciously applied to my life the stuff I read in that book. But then my roommate dale decided to read it, so i stole it from his bag (HA!) and started reading it. sorry but I felt like I should be the first one to read it since THIS WAS MY LIFE. THIS BOOK DEFINED WHO I WAS, WHAT WAS MY LIFE LIKE.

I always thought of myself as Leo. God, i forget how much this book was similar to my life. I subconsciously named my own stuff and the people around me after the characters from this book. We even wrote a song named "Stargirl". sigh.

Now as Im reading this, Im feeling like its reminding me of how I used to live, what I was like, and at the same time giving some sort of closure, like its telling me that that was then and this is now. That I should be living in the now.

Last night i had this weird dream. I was talking to this old guy who happens to be a friend of mine but I never got to know who he was, I just knew he was a friend. he had a blind dog. it was brown and small, come to think of it he looked like my dead dog Sirius (ha! named after a star) except this dog was blind and has big gray eyes. Then the old man died and he left me in charge of his dog. the dog then gave my hand a smell. weird b/c when he did that i could really feel his nose sniffing my hand. i could feel its wet nose on my skin. then he smelled something and got mad at me. i was going to pet it but i was afraid he would bite.

Im beginning to get my groove back on again. Im back working on a lot of 3d stuff again. On February im giving a 3hr lecture about 3d and World of Warcraft in La Salle, the right afterwards we're going to the UP fair. Then summer we're going to boracay and Im finally going to give windsurfing a try.

sigh. is it true that things change but people dont?

]]> ~Reyknow http://Reyknow.deviantart.com/journal/16266652/ http://Reyknow.deviantart.com/journal/16266652/ Sat, 05 Jan 2008 07:43:43 PST
]]> ~Reyknow http://Reyknow.deviantart.com/journal/15824139/ http://Reyknow.deviantart.com/journal/15824139/ Thu, 06 Dec 2007 16:42:34 PST
]]> ~Reyknow http://Reyknow.deviantart.com/journal/15815948/ http://Reyknow.deviantart.com/journal/15815948/ Thu, 06 Dec 2007 02:07:44 PST
responsibilities are great and they suck at the same time.

we already know they suck, sure thats easy. but theyre also great because it kinda gives you a sense of purpose, or something i dont know. shit shit shit.

its been almost 6 fucking months, why am i still not 100% ok???

what else do you want from me?? what else should i fucking do?? i need to get away again. i need a place (or something or someone i dont know) where i can call home. fuck!

either get another addiction, immerse yourself with something else, or face the problem head on.

what problem?? you mean my problem w/ my ex?? how do i fucking face that goddamn problem head on? its over! for her, theres no problem. its just me whos acting all pathetic and shit!!

just say what you want to say, tell her whats bothering you. just to get this over with.

its not that easy.

for you it isnt. but you still got to do it.

what if i dont do it?

i dont know, go look for another one of your goddamn white noise shit. you wont solve your problem if you keep on avoiding it.

shit.

]]> ~Reyknow http://Reyknow.deviantart.com/journal/15679573/ http://Reyknow.deviantart.com/journal/15679573/ Mon, 26 Nov 2007 13:27:12 PST [link]

LOL WAHAHAHAHAHA YEAAAAAH BAAAYYYBEEEE!!! WAHAHAHAHAHA

finally, my work seen by lots of people hahaha


its kinda weird and yes maybe a little pathetic that i get most of my happy juices from working and doing all this shit. i need to find lots of freelance work to keep me occupied or else i might cry wahahahaha

i also need to deprive myself of food, cigarettes, and sleep to keep my head barely working because when my head's barely working i dont think of all the other shit thats supposed to bother me. its kinda like what edward norton said in fight club, something like fight club might be brutal or morbid and all that shit but after that all the other shit in your life tends to tone themselves down. i gotta do something like make myself suffer physically or mentally just to tone down all the shit thats been shitting on me emotionally.

i learned a lot since well 5 or 6 months ago i think i dunno i dont keep track of when bad shit happen. i learned not to expect from other people. i learned that people are bound to change, whatever the situation, whatever the reason, whoever they are. i learned that i am not special unique irreplaceable. i learned how important friends are. i learned that i can be a jerk or a saint. i learned that i will fight.

]]> ~Reyknow http://Reyknow.deviantart.com/journal/15629116/ http://Reyknow.deviantart.com/journal/15629116/ Fri, 23 Nov 2007 00:09:29 PST
[link] <<< give them a visit!!

havent slept for almost a day now, and im not planning to, having a fucking wonderful day wahahahaahah!! I WANT TO SCREAM!!!! WAHAhahahhaahHWHAHAHA!!!

"I JUST CANT REMEMBER, I DONT KNOW, I CANT FEEL...!"
-their lyrics

work is fucking awesome too hahahahaha im making something right now that is "presidential" wahahahaha, lets leave it at that wahahahhahaha!!!!

im beginning to love starbucks, not for their bland yet expensive coffee, but because of the person i get to come with every night hahahaha!! IM FUKCING HIGH RIGHT NOW NO DRUGS INVOLVED I DONT EVEN CARE WHAT I WRITE HERE WAHAHAHA

...........this is the ULTIMATE natural HIGH... i dont ever want to let go of this feeling. I want to die with my hands shaking, my chest running out of air, my skin cold yet somehow warm, and my heart beating like crazy!!!...

I might not sleep til monday, i have to be in some "presidential meeting" thing at 3am!!!
have to bring the camera!!! it aint gonna be an ordinary day whahahaaha!!! well i hope whahahahaha

at least even when everything fails or changes or goes out of plan, i can still say to myself that "hey that felt good, gotta have more of that!" gotta love this feeling. and i have all my friends, that certain special someone hehe, and all the people around me to thank for it!!!


...this is the ultimate natural high. THANK YOU i needed this.

]]> ~Reyknow http://Reyknow.deviantart.com/journal/15573294/ http://Reyknow.deviantart.com/journal/15573294/ Mon, 19 Nov 2007 07:48:42 PST
people are also starting to notice my stuttering problem. im still confused why im stuttering. i might have a medical problem. or maybe im watching too much House.

]]> ~Reyknow http://Reyknow.deviantart.com/journal/15426330/ http://Reyknow.deviantart.com/journal/15426330/ Thu, 08 Nov 2007 20:13:14 PST
currently addicted to DoTA

Vista sucks balls by the way

]]> ~Reyknow http://Reyknow.deviantart.com/journal/14812196/ http://Reyknow.deviantart.com/journal/14812196/ Thu, 27 Sep 2007 11:08:10 PDT
hahaha

thats thats it for now, she might read this journnal HAHAHAHA

]]> ~Reyknow http://Reyknow.deviantart.com/journal/14800085/ http://Reyknow.deviantart.com/journal/14800085/ Wed, 26 Sep 2007 12:53:56 PDT
day 2 i thought i was having palpitations, day 3 my chest was starting to hurt, last night i was able to sleep for only a couple of hours. its 4am day 4 and im still wide awake. i usually take the pill around 9 or 10, might take it as early as 5 or 6 today because i cant sleep. im currently juggling 3 projects right now, hopefully i can post some of them here in DA.

thought about something last night. i was wondering why not crush my last pill and snort it.

haha im so fucking bored, and maybe just a little high.

]]> ~Reyknow http://Reyknow.deviantart.com/journal/14765109/ http://Reyknow.deviantart.com/journal/14765109/ Sun, 23 Sep 2007 21:45:18 PDT
right now i dont feel like talking much because my mouth feels so dry. havent eaten since breakfast. i feel kinda tired but my head feels active. im kinda scared about the palpitations and the shortness of breath because i already smoke about a pack of cigarettes a day and i have to travel for like 3-4hrs a day.

i feel weird. haha

finally figured out how to import animations into the game engine. gonna be making another demoreel soon. i might look here in DA for concept art and all that shit.

also trying to play the bass again. its been like 2 years i think since i last played, like really played the bass.

]]> ~Reyknow http://Reyknow.deviantart.com/journal/14753365/ http://Reyknow.deviantart.com/journal/14753365/ Sun, 23 Sep 2007 06:50:53 PDT
what a beautiful saturday!

hahaha!

]]> ~Reyknow http://Reyknow.deviantart.com/journal/14714230/ http://Reyknow.deviantart.com/journal/14714230/ Thu, 20 Sep 2007 12:19:47 PDT
"Im not gonna expect anything from anyone anymore. Im tired of people letting me down."

Im just so fucking tired of it.

By the way this song really speaks to me:

Imogen Heap - Hide and Seek

Where are we? What the hell is going on?
The dust has only just begun to form,
Crop circles in the carpet, sinking, feeling.
Spin me round again and rub my eyes.
This can't be happening.
When busy streets a mess with people
would stop to hold their heads heavy.

Hide and seek.
Trains and sewing machines.
All those years they were here first.

Oily marks appear on walls
Where pleasure moments hung before.
The takeover, the sweeping insensitivity of this
still life.

Hide and seek.
Trains and sewing machines. (Oh, you won't catch me around here)
Blood and tears,
They were here first.

Mmm, what you say?
Mm, that you only meant well? Well, of course you did.
Mmm, what you say?
Mm, that it's all for the best? Ah of course it is.
Mmm, what you say?
Mm, that it's just what we need? And you decided this.
Mmm what you say?
What did she say?

Ransom notes keep falling out your mouth.
Mid-sweet talk, newspaper word cut-outs.
Speak no feeling, no I dont believe you.
You don't care a bit. You don't care a bit.

Ransom notes keep falling out your mouth.
Mid-sweet talk, newspaper word cut-outs.
Speak no feeling, no I don't believe you.
You don't care a bit. You don't care a bit.

You don't care a bit.

]]> ~Reyknow http://Reyknow.deviantart.com/journal/14698073/ http://Reyknow.deviantart.com/journal/14698073/ Wed, 19 Sep 2007 08:05:24 PDT

Got a certificate out of it haha. Funny because when i gave a seminar about 2 years ago at CSB they didnt give me one. hmm.

all i care about now is that i got another thing to add to my resume haha

D

]]> ~Reyknow http://Reyknow.deviantart.com/journal/14654642/ http://Reyknow.deviantart.com/journal/14654642/ Sun, 16 Sep 2007 05:50:59 PDT
Wednesdays the art seminar in La Salle. Fuck, my tummy feels all weird and shit. I guess im a bit nervous about the whole "giving a talk to aspiring artists" thing.

I dont even consider myself an artist haha sshhushh.

randomness weird shit//////

this is what i wrote on sept 1

"You know what, fuck it.

im not gonna expect anything from anyone anymore. im tired of people letting me down."

always wanted to surf. or go sailing again. Sundays are boring, my brains nagging, telling me to do something.
Finally got to get some of the pictures from my fone. gonna buy an amplifier next week. new bass guitar nextnext week. need money. ha. i feel lonely. lonely nation by Switchfoot. Flanger and delay good, distortion ok. Stop smoking stop smoking youre gonna kill yourself. Kurt Cobain. Highschool days.Suicide. Bullshit. Penn and Teller. coffee. making 3d. stuck. black and white. video game! cds. pirated ones. hold up. stop. knife. jacket. bikes. whiskey. accidents. helmet. everything to lose. weird shit. wee

]]> ~Reyknow http://Reyknow.deviantart.com/journal/14648845/ http://Reyknow.deviantart.com/journal/14648845/ Sat, 15 Sep 2007 18:28:09 PDT
]]> ~Reyknow http://Reyknow.deviantart.com/journal/14617179/ http://Reyknow.deviantart.com/journal/14617179/ Thu, 13 Sep 2007 13:05:11 PDT
Gonna grow my hair long again, plus my moustache and goatee haha always want to try that. When i was a kid i used to draw facial hair w/ a pen on me, and once tried to shave it ahaha, ended up having bloody lips and chin haha.

cant wait to get my driver's license. cant wait to get back to school. but too lazy and bored of taking care of all the paper work haha.

haha i have a crush again haha, her codename is "Lynda Steele" haha because she kinda looks like that girl from the World of Warcraft trading card game w/ the same name. Plus i saw another one of my college crushes yesterday. haha cant wait to get back to college.

hahaha i still feel like im a kid.

]]> ~Reyknow http://Reyknow.deviantart.com/journal/14554604/ http://Reyknow.deviantart.com/journal/14554604/ Sun, 09 Sep 2007 02:21:48 PDT
about a week ago my mom told me she sold my bike because it was too dangerous etc etc then last night i found out that my dad's the one who bought it haha. he said he's gonna fix it then modify it. hes one hell of a grease monkey. still gonna buy a car thou HAHA.

cant wait to start this project/game w/ flipside. its been a while since i made a real good model, like a full model because nowadays i usually just sketch sculpt.

]]> ~Reyknow http://Reyknow.deviantart.com/journal/14523689/ http://Reyknow.deviantart.com/journal/14523689/ Thu, 06 Sep 2007 21:46:30 PDT
Switchfoot concert on sept 10!!

also check this out, [link]

and im gonna give a little talk about video game art assets in dela Salle University on sept 19, kinda nervous and excited bec. ive never done anything like that before. although i did give a lecture about 3d a year ago in college of st. benilde ( i was an hour late and when i got there i didnt know exactly what to say haha).

hmm.

its kinda sad that i have to let go of my old life and move on. the truth is i still think about all the good times we had. those were the best days of my life. i still miss you, but i have to move on. just in case youre reading journal.

]]> ~Reyknow http://Reyknow.deviantart.com/journal/14510676/ http://Reyknow.deviantart.com/journal/14510676/ Wed, 05 Sep 2007 23:41:33 PDT
I think ill be moving out of this house on November. ill be moving to my friends place, which is like only 20mins away from where i work. plus its decided im going back to college next year.

also im finally able to put my works from maya to a game engine! ill probably make a demo or another folio by november. i also have to relearn the way i make 3d models, finally figured out whats wrong w/ my process. i have a lot more room for improvement.

also check out "post secrets" by frank warren. give it a google image search, its freakin amazing.

i have to figure out this paypal shit thing soon. gotta get some extra work.

]]> ~Reyknow http://Reyknow.deviantart.com/journal/14435070/ http://Reyknow.deviantart.com/journal/14435070/ Sat, 01 Sep 2007 02:43:46 PDT
im not gonna expect anything from anyone anymore. im tired of people letting me down.

]]> ~Reyknow http://Reyknow.deviantart.com/journal/14409478/ http://Reyknow.deviantart.com/journal/14409478/ Thu, 30 Aug 2007 11:46:41 PDT
]]> ~Reyknow http://Reyknow.deviantart.com/journal/14404638/ http://Reyknow.deviantart.com/journal/14404638/ Thu, 30 Aug 2007 02:53:19 PDT
]]> ~Reyknow http://Reyknow.deviantart.com/journal/14346036/ http://Reyknow.deviantart.com/journal/14346036/ Sun, 26 Aug 2007 08:50:15 PDT
im jeffrey de guzman. the "reyknow" nick i got from "ryknow" from mudvayne because i idolize the way he plays the bass.
im 20 yrs old. my bday is on wed aug 29.
ive been hiding from my former bandmates for 2 years now because i wanted a change in my life. now i want to change again and weve been thinking about playing again.
i left school about almost 2 yrs ago because a friend of mine fucked up my computer just in time for my finals, but everythings cool now.
ive been stealing some of my dad's medicine.
the reason ive been drinking a lot lately is because i cant over the break up. still trying.
im an introvert and i hate myself for being one.

my bdays coming up and i feel like my life is going nowhere. shit.

somethings gotta change. I DONT NEED TO FUCKING DRINK OR TAKE A GODDAMN PILL JUST TO GET OVER THIS PIECE OF SHIT. just want to scream and tell the world FUCK YOU YOU WONT GET TO ME.

]]> ~Reyknow http://Reyknow.deviantart.com/journal/14340442/ http://Reyknow.deviantart.com/journal/14340442/ Sat, 25 Aug 2007 21:08:26 PDT Cause it doesn't remind me of anything
With a graveyard tan carrying a cross
Cause it doesn't remind me of anything
I like studying faces in a parking lot
Cause it doesn't remind me of anything
I like driving backwards in the fog
Cause it doesn't remind me of anything

[Chorus]
The things that I've loved the things that I've lost
The things I've held sacred that I've dropped
I won't lie no more you can bet
I don't want to learn what I'll need to forget

I like gypsy moths and radio talk
Cause it doesn't remind me of anything
I like gospel music and canned applause
Cause it doesn't remind me of anything
I like colorful clothing in the sun
Cause it doesn't remind me of anything
I ilke hammering nails and speaking in tongues
Cause it doesn't remind me of anything

[Chorus]
The things that I've loved the things that I've lost
The things I've held sacred that I've dropped
I won't lie no more you can bet
I don't want to learn what I'll need

Bend and shape me
I love the way you are
Slow and sweetly
Like never before
Calm and sleeping
We won't stir up the past
So descretely
We won't look back

[Chorus]
The things that I've loved the things that I've lost
The things I've held sacred that I've dropped
I won't lie no more you can bet
I don't want to learn what I'll need

I like throwing my voice and breaking guitars
Cause it doesn't remind me of anything
I like playing in the sand what's mine is ours
If it doesn't remind me of anything

]]> ~Reyknow http://Reyknow.deviantart.com/journal/14313789/ http://Reyknow.deviantart.com/journal/14313789/ Fri, 24 Aug 2007 04:02:19 PDT This darkness where I'm bound
And this black hole I've dug for me
And silently within
With hands touching skin
The shock breaks my disease
And I can breathe

And all of your weight
All you dream
Falls on me it falls on me
And your beautiful sky
The light you bring
Falls on me it falls on me

Your faith like the pain
Draws me in again
She washes all my wounds for me
The darkness in my veins
I never could explain
And I wonder if you ever see
Will you still believe?

Am I that strong
To carry on?
I might change your life
I might save my world
Could you save me?

]]> ~Reyknow http://Reyknow.deviantart.com/journal/14301617/ http://Reyknow.deviantart.com/journal/14301617/ Thu, 23 Aug 2007 10:06:17 PDT
will someone please please sell me some valiums or stilnox or any sleeping pill. i cant get my doctor to write me another script. just send me a note, im a good and regular buyer/user. so whatever.

fuck. im even running out of cigarettes. its 1 in the goddamn morning where am i supposed to buy my only fix??

i cant get a fucking nights rest ever since this shit thing happened. i always end up talking to myself and staring at the damn ceiling. i cant sleep without listening to music or anything

how the fuck do i get out of this goddamn hellhole???

i used to avoid writing personal stuff here in my DA journal. now i dont care. who gives a shit. most of the people here are rich self centered fucks who whines all the time and doesnt even know how it feels like to live in 3rd world country anyway.

fuck this. i just cant stop ranting. writing about shit . this whole situation is just getting to me.

]]> ~Reyknow http://Reyknow.deviantart.com/journal/14282462/ http://Reyknow.deviantart.com/journal/14282462/ Wed, 22 Aug 2007 04:04:23 PDT
We are looking for:

Programmers
Requirements:
- Proficiency with C or C++
- Bachelor's degree or equivalent in Computer Science or Engineering.
- Team-oriented nature, with good communication skills
- A passion for making great games!

Pluses:
- Previous game programming experience
- Working knowledge of additional programming or scripting languages, such as Java or Action Script
- Strong math background

Artists
Requirements:
- For 2D artists, proficiency with software such as Adobe Photoshop and Macromedia Flash.
- For 3D artists, proficiency with applications such as Maya, 3D Studio Max, Zbrush, or any similar applications.
- For 3D artists, experience with low-polygon 3D modeling.
- Team-oriented nature, with good communication skills
- A passion for making great games!

Pluses:
- Bachelor's degree or equivalent in Fine Arts or related courses.
- Previous game development experience
- Experience with game toolsets

You will be working with a small, tightly knit team of some of the best game developers in the land. You will be working in a results-based work environment, with a flexible working schedule. And most importantly, you’ll be working on the most exciting projects you’ve ever done in your career.

Heard enough? Please send us your resume AND portfolio to resume@flipsidegames.net.

]]> ~Reyknow http://Reyknow.deviantart.com/journal/14266776/ http://Reyknow.deviantart.com/journal/14266776/ Tue, 21 Aug 2007 04:25:59 PDT
drove around the village using my 400cc kawasaki yesterday. damn feels so fucking fast, im a bit nervous bout taking it to work.

fuck i feel down again. we talked on the fone before i left home. shit i dont know what the fuck is going on anymore.

]]> ~Reyknow http://Reyknow.deviantart.com/journal/14194789/ http://Reyknow.deviantart.com/journal/14194789/ Thu, 16 Aug 2007 11:20:46 PDT
gonna be out of contact til monday night. my cellphones fucking up again so im not bringing it. wont be going online either. to matt or anyone from bohica studios: ill probably post the heads on tuesday.

]]> ~Reyknow http://Reyknow.deviantart.com/journal/14183604/ http://Reyknow.deviantart.com/journal/14183604/ Wed, 15 Aug 2007 16:43:49 PDT
]]> ~Reyknow http://Reyknow.deviantart.com/journal/14147166/ http://Reyknow.deviantart.com/journal/14147166/ Mon, 13 Aug 2007 10:22:05 PDT Fuck everything that you stand for!
Dont belong! dont exist!
Dont give a shit!
Dont ever judge me!

]]> ~Reyknow http://Reyknow.deviantart.com/journal/14119454/ http://Reyknow.deviantart.com/journal/14119454/ Sat, 11 Aug 2007 12:44:47 PDT
I took a walk around the world to
Ease my troubled mind
I left my body laying somewhere
In the sands of time
I watched the world float to the dark
Side of the moon
I feel there is nothing I can do, yeah

I watched the world float to the
Dark side of the moon
After all I knew it had to be something
To do with you
I really don't mind what happens now and then
As long as you'll be my friend at the end

If I go crazy then will you still
Call me Superman
If I'm alive and well, will you be
There holding my hand
I'll keep you by my side with
My superhuman might
Kryptonite

You called me strong, you called me weak
But your secrets I will keep
You took for granted all the times I
Never let you down
You stumbled in and bumped your head, if
Not for me then you would be dead
I picked you up and put you back
On solid ground

If I go crazy then will you still
Call me Superman
If I'm alive and well will you be
There holding my hand
I'll keep you by my side with my
Superhuman might
Kryptonite

really loving this song right now.

]]> ~Reyknow http://Reyknow.deviantart.com/journal/14082493/ http://Reyknow.deviantart.com/journal/14082493/ Wed, 08 Aug 2007 22:40:03 PDT
fuck i cant stop thinking about all the shit that blah blah blah nevermind.

have to go to office even thou its fucking raining. im gonna get stuck in traffic again. fuck.
Heavy metal fucking rules. Keeps my head from burning out or exploding or thinking about shit all the time.

i want to scream, but my throat still hurts from too much smoking and drinking last night.

damn i can really relate to slipknot's lyrics right now.

fuck you, just in case youre reading this bitch.

]]> ~Reyknow http://Reyknow.deviantart.com/journal/14010210/ http://Reyknow.deviantart.com/journal/14010210/ Sat, 04 Aug 2007 02:57:00 PDT
got nothing to do. cant go joyriding cause my bike's fucking up and its raining. plus i kinda miss the good old days. shit.

FUCK FUCK SHIT SHIT FUCKING BULLSHIT.

i feel weak too. like my arms and legs feel wobbly. i dont know. fuck i hate this shitty fucking feeling...!

i should spend more time outside and away from the computer.

]]> ~Reyknow http://Reyknow.deviantart.com/journal/13952444/ http://Reyknow.deviantart.com/journal/13952444/ Tue, 31 Jul 2007 07:10:21 PDT

]]> ~Reyknow http://Reyknow.deviantart.com/journal/13873096/ http://Reyknow.deviantart.com/journal/13873096/ Wed, 25 Jul 2007 11:27:40 PDT
[link]lindex=0

fuck yeah.

Fell asleep at around 10 or 11pm, woke up bout 1am.
JUST FUCKING HATE IT WHEN I CANT HAVE MY FUCKING PILLS.

I feel so fucking weird. i miss my friends, college and highschool friends, but at the same time i dont want to see them. hmm.

ALL HAIL BLACK SABBATH AND METALLICA!

Oh yeah, im getting a chopper bike on my birthday. cant fucking wait

]]> ~Reyknow http://Reyknow.deviantart.com/journal/13844507/ http://Reyknow.deviantart.com/journal/13844507/ Mon, 23 Jul 2007 09:53:50 PDT
denial - happened when i was telling myself that she wasnt cheating on me

anger - got mad when i found out the truth

bargaining - i was begging her to come back (yeah i know pathetic)

depression - not 100% sure if im over this one, i guess i am now because i dont feel shitty anymore unlike for the past 2 weeks

acceptance - we talked last night, accepted that she moved on


trouble is, now i dont know what to do. i mean i feel like theres a lot of shit that ive missed out on. i wanna go sailing again, or even start another band, or get serious w/ my business, or my work, i dont know. my fridays and saturdays are free now and i cant make up my fucking mind hehe.

also im trying to lose some weight. check this shit out
[link]

DAMN i feel weird right now hehe

]]> ~Reyknow