http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:Rezny&section=today deviantART RSS for by:Rezny en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Tue, 22 Dec 2009 13:38:19 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://Rezny.deviantart.com/journal/29077320/ http://Rezny.deviantart.com/journal/29077320/ Mon, 21 Dec 2009 07:08:12 PST XD
But no, I really need to update and that last journal is just so...not happy. I need to look at something different (and happy) for a change.


The main basis of this is that I wanted to say that about a month ago I got into another relationship.
=]
After breaking up with Troy, I was starting to feel lonely for quite a while. I didn't want another unintentional rebound (which unfortunately happened with Derek, although I admit that is what that was). I figured I'd give it a little bit of time to get Troy completely out of my head and wait until I felt I was ready to get into another relationship and make sure it was real this time. (The last thing I wanted was another rebound just because I didn't have him. I realize now that I was wasting my time wallowing in pity over him.)

Anyway, since I'm not much of a social person whatsoever and since I am on my computer all of the time, I figured I would join a few dating sites and see what would happen. I really didn't have anything to lose and I most definitely learned that dating people at work wasn't my best option, so I figured I'd give this a whirl. One of the sites I joined was Match.com just as a free member. Although I don't have an account there anymore (obviously since I've found someone), I was getting fed up with the site because as you can imagine, you can't do squat as a free member. I had about ten unread e-mails just hanging out in my inbox and I couldn't read them because I refuse to pay thirty bucks a month for that shit. And what if you don't find someone after paying all of that? Then you're really out of luck, you know? Anywho, this one guy on there winked at me and as I browsed his profile, I liked what I saw so I winked back. Just to be crafty, I basically put an advertisement to look for me on MySpace if someone wanted to chat on my headline to my profile (since I couldn't e-mail anyone or read what they had sent me since I was just a free member). I'm actually surprised they let me get away with that to be honest, but I guess I really shouldn't question a good thing.

So he ended up messaging me on MySpace and we chatted on there and talked for a while to get to know each other a bit before we exchanged numbers and started talking on the phone. (We had several, very lengthy conversations on AIM as well.) All I can say was that I was just blown away. I have never known anyone in my entire life that has so much in common with me before, especially of the opposite sex! Don't get me wrong, having similar tastes in movies and music and such is always nice, but I was looking for more similarities in personality for a change. I desperately need someone that's more like me. I've been with the complete opposite (*cough*Troy*cough*) and that obviously didn't end well. I think what got me was when we started discussing that we both secretly want to get into meteorology and our love for tornadoes. We think so much alike it's almost insane. Anymore he'll start talking and I'll basically finish the sentence for him and vice versa. The only time that really happens is if I'm talking to my grandma, lol.

I believe we had our first date a little after Thanksgiving and things went extremely well.
=]
We had about three dates before I finally went over to his house. He lives out in the country in Rochester. I pretty much go over there every chance I get now. We really have a lot of fun together.
^^
He also met my mother on Friday and that also went extremely well. They seemed to get along just great and she likes him, which is definitely good.

His name is Rob, by the way.

He's about 6'6" and I always feel extremely tiny and inferior when standing next to him. I always joke with him and say that I'm his elbow rest.
XD
(I'm 5'3"... )

I'm just really excited about this overall. We just...really seem to click.
=]]
We've joked around and asked each other if it was fate since we mesh so well together, but I honestly can't help but wonder about it sometimes. I hope that everything works out for the best between us and I'd like to see what happens.
^^

]]> ~Rezny http://Rezny.deviantart.com/journal/27852419/ http://Rezny.deviantart.com/journal/27852419/ Mon, 19 Oct 2009 11:49:16 PDT
I pretty much found out who my true friends are *NOT* last week... I don't know what happened/what's been going on, but it seemed that things were going just fine and then literally overnight things drastically changed. Mollie suddenly gets this really nasty attitude toward me and she turns one of my friends against me and needless to say I'm completely and utterly lost. I haven't done a single thing wrong and yet there's all of this pointless hatred geared toward me. I was just really hurt more than anything because one night when I was getting ready for work, Mollie invited Holly (thus other mentioned "friend") and some other people over and although I was literally ten feet away, I could hear them saying bad things behind my back. Friends don't talk bad behind their friends' backs. I was just completely devastated once more because I thought that these people were my friends; I had known them for years and had learned to love and trust them for who they were. Alas, Mollie has failed me yet again and it pains me that Holly would intentionally hurt me. To be perfectly honest, I still have no idea what's going on. I can assume that everyone is acting weird just because I'm friends with Troy. (We started talking again about a week and a half ago and we still want to be apart of each others' lives, just not (obviously) in the same way as before.) I can understand if my friends may be a little disappointed in me, but all of this? This is just ridiculous. If this is going to give my mind peace and make me happy then I honestly don't see what the problem is.

Anyway, after overhearing my friends bad mouth me, I knew I had to get out of that situation. Things could have been more-so ignored if one of the people involved wasn't my roommate, and trust me, like I've mentioned briefly, this isn't the first time that Mollie's screwed me over. So, I had a long talk with my mom as well as my landlord and Thursday night I moved back in with my mom. I know some of you may be thinking that this move is a bit silly, but honestly, I don't need people like that in my life. I was tired of feeling unwelcome in my own home and like I had said, it wouldn't be so big of a deal if one of the people involved wasn't my roommate/supposed "best friend". Nonetheless, I had to do this and I couldn't be happier. I'm so relaxed, just so at peace to finally be in a comfortable and quiet environment and to just be in a place where I know I'll be loved. I mean, hell, even my own mother, who was one to never really be partial to Troy to begin with, is happy that he and I are friends. Honestly, there's nothing wrong with that. I know that the whole "exes being friends" thing hardly ever works out and it's great to see that he's actually putting an effort toward it to make it work.

So, that's basically what's been going on. It pretty much took me two days to get everything out of my apartment and into my mom's house. (Thank goodness I was off for that time being as well; I actually don't go back to work until tomorrow night.) I've just been trying to organize things the best that I can and just re-settle in. Otherwise, besides the organizing, I'm just trying to relax and enjoy myself and the time off from work that I have. Hopefully now that I'm in a stress-free and drama-free environment that I may start up with my artwork again since this is something that I've been neglecting for some time now.

Needless to say, I am not talking to Mollie or Holly anymore. I actually gave Mollie another chance after the crap she's continually pulled on me, but I suppose some people never change. Not to sound conceited, but I'm better than that; I'm more mature than that. I don't need to be a part of "gossip girl". We're not in grade school, in fact, we're almost twenty-one years old. It's time to focus on me for a change and figure out what I want and what makes me happy and if being friends with Troy makes me happy, then people will just have to learn to accept it and get over it, as shitty as that may sound. As mentioned before, if I'm happy, then that's all that should matter.

]]> ~Rezny http://Rezny.deviantart.com/journal/27681144/ http://Rezny.deviantart.com/journal/27681144/ Sat, 10 Oct 2009 05:50:33 PDT must know what's going on however, feel free to drop me a note and I'll be more than happy to reply. [Well, not really "happy" but you know what I mean.])

*I'm currently working eight days in a row at my job. Tonight will be night four, but even though I'm halfway through it, I already feel like I want to kill someone and I'm stuck doing all of these special orders which is doing nothing but making me even more pissed off. I'm trying to be positive about it and acknowledge that it is more hours, but I seriously was hoping for a day off sooner than this. >_<

*Things with Derek didn't work out. Again, I don't really want to elaborate unless you guys want to send me a note, but although I am doing better now, I was pretty devastated last week.

*After things fell through with Derek, my mind has been wandering back to Troy. I'm currently talking to him. A big part of me is screaming "WHAT IN THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING!?" but in all honesty, I really just don't give a fuck right now.

*I keep toying with the idea of leaving dA. Let's face it, I never draw anymore nor am I ever in the mood for it. I don't even check deviations from my watchers, comment, or anything. I just check to see if I have favorites and comments and that's it, which seems kind of selfish. (Anyway, don't count on me leaving as I highly doubt it's going to happen, but the thought has crossed my mind several times for some reason...)

*I guess the only really good thing that has happened so far was that I had a job interview yesterday about an application that I turned in about five months ago of all things. I think I did extremely well and we'll just have to see what happens.

]]> ~Rezny http://Rezny.deviantart.com/journal/27404956/ http://Rezny.deviantart.com/journal/27404956/ Fri, 25 Sep 2009 06:52:33 PDT =]

I'd say probably a week or so ago, Mollie was on the computer and her friend Derek was IMing her. She just randomly mentioned "Oh, he's not my type. He's more of the sensitive musician type." I got mildly interested, mainly because it seems that it's almost impossible to find a guy with feelings anymore, and being as sensitive as I am, this most definitely caught my attention. She also mentioned to me that he has long hair, heh. (I'm a sucker for guys with long hair, considering that it looks right on them and if they can pull it off, that is.) Anyway, I got a little interested and happened to browse his MySpace out of curiosity just to get a slight idea of what he was like and I told her that I thought he was pretty cute. For giggles, she mentioned him to me the next time he was on MySpace IM and he said that he remembered me from grade school (around the third grade) and said that he'd definitely like to see me/meet me (or I guess re-meet me in that matter). So, I'd say last Friday, Mollie, Holly, myself and some other people got together (with Derek there, of course) and we went to the park and stuff for a while. At first I was pretty giddy that a guy was interested in me, but after finally screwing my head on straight and calming down, we all just talked and I really didn't have any initial feelings for him at first. It was definitely too early to judge; if nothing else, I'd make a new friend and that always works. But, by the end of the night I had asked him if he wanted to hang out on Monday so I could talk to him and get to know him a little better. I had mentioned that I hoped this didn't sound weird and he most definitely didn't think so and said he'd be delighted to talk for a while.
=]

So, anyway, Monday arrives and we go to the park for only about ten minutes because it starts to lightning (and not to mention I have an extreme phobia of lightning) so we head off to Denny's. We really didn't have any "deep" conversation at first, so to say, but we just discussed music, our friends, and things of that sort to just get an idea of what we each liked and such. We actually had a few things in common and he was just really fun to listen to overall. Eventually we headed back to my place and I felt the need to tell him about what happened between myself and Troy and where I basically stand now. He was very understanding about everything and I just appreciated that he was there to really listen to me. I told him that I kind of liked him and I knew that he was kind of interested in me but the last thing I'd want was for him to think that he was just a replacement because I don't have Troy; that's the last thing I would want, I don't want to hurt him. If we happened to really click then I'd want it to be real, you know? (I had also mentioned that unlike my relationship with Troy, I'd want to take things considerably slower if something was to happen between us.) Anyway, he told me about some of his past relationships and we just had a really nice discussion overall. He eventually asked if I wanted to watch a movie or something and I of course accepted. (I found out that he likes Azumanga Daioh, which is extremely awesome, so we put that in.) After a while, he just said "I have this extremely strong urge to want to cuddle with you right now" and I just couldn't help but smile; I wanted to do this with him as well. And so we just laid together on the couch and cuddled with each other; that was really nice.
=]
We talked some more and then he leaned in to kiss me, and that was pretty much that.

I swear, we kissed probably a hundred times that night, I'm not going to lie. After I'd pull away after a bit, I'd just get comfortable and situated and before I knew it, he was right back at it, which I thought was sweet. He's very affectionate, and I like that very much. He just said that I was very irresistible. He really knows how to make me feel absolutely amazing. He just kept mentioning that I was absolutely adorable, and how cute I looked when I smiled, and how beautiful I was. I finally got the balls to ask him if we were "official" (so much for me not wanting to rush things...lol) and he said that if that's what I wanted, then he didn't mind; he said he'd really like that, actually. Unfortunately about two-thirty in the morning rolled around and he did have to go home. I walked out to his car with him and he just grabbed my hand when we were going down the stairs and I just truly felt wonderful; I don't think I've smiled so much in quite a long time. I kind of laughed when he sat down in his car and I stood next to the driver's side; I was just like "I'm not used to being t... ]]> ~Rezny http://Rezny.deviantart.com/journal/27235472/ http://Rezny.deviantart.com/journal/27235472/ Tue, 15 Sep 2009 19:58:50 PDT
I made quite possibly one of the hardest decisions of my life yesterday; after many months of pointless self-loathing and obsessive tendencies, I finally stepped up to the plate and broke up with Troy. Some of you may be in shock, even wondering why I did this because things seemed to be going so well. What could have gone wrong? Things actually haven't been going well for quite some time now...

Let me back-track for a minute and prepare yourselves for one of the longest online journals you'll ever read.

Pretty much after our first real and very explosive argument, things seemed to have gone downhill, even though I didn't want to admit that to myself; the pain was just too much. I had an extremely difficult time moving on, especially not having him around all the time considering when we had rushed into things so quickly and I was with him 24/7 in the beginning. It hurt because he seemed to adjust to not being around me all the time just fine. He was completely content on living with his brother and not having me in the picture as much. I just didn't want to come to terms with the idea that he would never change his ways for the better and would never consider caring for me as long as he was attached to the hip with his brother and as long as he had his substances at hand. I just did not want to accept the fact that pot and his brother would always be more important than me, which is a shame because I think the one that you love should always be your number one priority.

Before that night when I suggested that maybe we shouldn't live together anymore, we never argued and things seemed to be great. I'll admit, toward the beginning, everything was just how I imagined it would be. We would actually go on dates and watch movies and do fun things. We were completely devoted to one another. I honestly don't know what happened. After a while, he just became my whole world and was all I could think about, and he just thought that was too much pressure. Even just the other day, he told me "Babe, I want to be a part of your life but not your whole life." It just completely devastated me that he wasn't as "into" this as I was, that I was giving him everything and yet I was receiving nothing.

Things rapidly declined and lately it seemed like we were arguing every week, which, as I had mentioned, was something we never even used to do. Unfortunately, it was all over the same subject, over and over again. I felt that he wasn't spending as much time with me as he used to. Granted, I liked that when he got off of work he would stop by to see me, but it would never be for more than an hour and would always consist of the same thing. We'd briefly talk, half-assed snuggled, and then we'd have sex and he would leave. This didn't happen just once or a few times; it was like we made a habit out of this. I felt used. I didn't want to be like the damn Seven Eleven or the Quik N' Eazy; I'm not there just because it's "convenient" and I wouldn't have had so much of a problem with it if he actually stayed for a little while instead of taking his eager ass home so suddenly. Anymore it seemed like he just made excuses. I always spent the night down at his house and I wanted him to come down here for a change. He even admitted it had been at least a month. And so, I would offer and ask "Hey, I have suchandsuch day off, would you like the spend the night?" and normally he would either say "I don't know" or "That sounds good, I'll plan on it". No matter what the answer was, I always got my hopes up, extremely high for that matter, which is something out of my control. If you want to see a person badly enough, you'll highly anticipate the day that you do (and in my case longer than an hour or so). And yet...there would always be nothing but constant disappointment. It seemed that something always came up, and at the last second too. I know I like to know what's going on and should know that guys don't live by a schedule, but if plans change, let me know about it ahead of time instead of completely crushing me by canceling at the last minute every time. This was just getting too old; I was really irritated by arguing over the same things again and again. His response was always the same: "Babe, you can't get your hopes up on something that probably isn't going to happen. I'm a busy man and you'll just have to get over it." But I couldn't get over it. It just wasn't fair.

Finally, on Sunday after crying over this same, stupid argument, things seemed to be okay after a few minutes of talking. He calmed me down and he said he'd stay for a little bit, but work really wore him out and he was just exhausted. It really didn't help that he was in a bad mood since th... ]]> ~Rezny http://Rezny.deviantart.com/journal/26765724/ http://Rezny.deviantart.com/journal/26765724/ Sun, 23 Aug 2009 00:06:43 PDT looser than I had recalled, like it wasn't as far back into my nipple as I had remembered. When I got them done in January, my piercer told me that he doesn't pierce the actual nipple itself because I guess that would cause a lot of problems and more difficulty healing, so he pierced behind the nipple instead. (Trust me, it still looks fine and it's still, well, a nipple piercing.) Anyway, my left one was definitely at the surface of my nipple, rather than being behind it like I had recalled.

For some reason, I never made it out to my piercing place this week (shame on me, I know) and I began to think that maybe my body was rejecting the piercing. (I had read up on this before I got them done in the first place; trust me, I did my research before I chose to get them done.) And so, after staying home from work today for being sick, I randomly woke up about two hours ago so I could use the bathroom, and just for shits and giggles, I decided to look at my piercing just to see how it was doing. I shit you not, it was literally hanging there by a fucking thread of skin. I didn't want to take any chances and I sure as hell didn't want it to go completely through my nipple and have a fucked up nipple for the rest of my life, so I decided the best thing would be just to take it out and have it close up. I'm not even going to bother getting it re-pierced because it hurt badly enough the first time and I heard that going through scar tissue is even worse... I even changed my right one back to the stainless steel barbell that I had when I first got them pierced. Thus being said, I believe I have found my culprit...

Apparently Pennylane's jewelry is made from really cheap metal, like nickel, and these "cheap" piercings can cause allergic reactions and usually migration and finally rejection. What had happened to me actually wasn't rejection; apparently there is a difference between migration and rejection. Migration is just the movement of the piercing, whether it be painful or otherwise with no actual healing ensued. Rejection is what happens when the body reacts to a foreign object and tries to remove it and typically heals the skin behind it. I'm pretty damn sure if I had waited any longer than my nipple would have split clean in half or some crazy shit like that.

And so, I need to start looking at jewelry made with only surgical stainless steel (like what I changed my right one back to) or either 14k or 18k gold (I don't remember which one at the moment). Apparently silver is really bad and can tarnish the skin, which was news to me.

So, I'm kind of disappointed about this whole situation, but at least my right one is still doing okay. Perhaps I'll invest in another kind of stainless steel barbell or something for it. I actually like the barbells better than the hoops (even though what I had wasn't exactly a hoop, but oh well). Maybe I'll look at the curved ones or something... But anyway, I'm not too happy at the moment and I guess I'll just have to live with one piercing instead of two. I feel kind of naked without my left one, but I'll live. As mentioned, I don't want to bother getting it re-pierced. Perhaps I was destined to just have one, who knows...?

]]> ~Rezny http://Rezny.deviantart.com/journal/26665500/ http://Rezny.deviantart.com/journal/26665500/ Tue, 18 Aug 2009 06:50:28 PDT
Well, heh, I get a text from Mollie at about three in the morning basically saying "OMG, we have a fucking bat in the apartment!" Keep in mind that I'm at Troy's house for the night and I'm wondering whether or not to take this seriously, but I know she wouldn't joke about something like that so I pretty much laid there wide awake until his alarm went off. I so did not want to come home after reading that...

But anyway, I did, and at first we couldn't find it and we were trying to concoct some plan to capture it and, well, release it, but that didn't work out so well... We finally spotted it hanging upside down on the door frame to the hall closet () and Mollie tried to get it with a shoe box since it was sleeping. Well, that didn't work and it woke up and immediately flew into the kitchen. (I was armed with a broom and I literally screamed and ducked when I saw that thing flying my way...) It so didn't help that I'm scared of bats... Never saw one in real life until today, but oi...
-_-

I eventually called my mom and asked her what I should do and she said not to try and catch it because she heard that there's been a big epidemic of bats with rabies this year. (Great...) She suggested calling Animal Control, and that's what I ended up doing... They were technically closed when I called them (since it was, like, six this morning) but I noticed that they had a number for emergency hours, so I finally got a hold of someone through that. A guy came in about twenty minutes later armed with nothing but a Tupperware container and just got up on the kitchen chair and got it from on the top of our cabinets. It was pretty small, only about three inches big, but it was still, well, scary and gross. The guy ended up getting my name and everything and he said that they were going to mail me the results after they took it to the lab to see if it had rabies or anything. I didn't say anything, of course, but I just kept thinking "I don't care", which I don't. They could euthanize the damn thing for all I care. :/ I know that sounds harsh and sort of odd considering that I love animals, but if it's not a kitty or a guinea pig, then I don't want to get anywhere near it.

I was baffled more than anything on how it even got in the apartment in the first place, really. (We still don't know.) That's something I had mentioned when the man came, but he said that they're pretty much like mice and can get in anywhere. Great...
D:

So yeah, a completely pointless journal entry, but that really traumatized me and I just had to post this.
o_O

]]> ~Rezny http://Rezny.deviantart.com/journal/26534763/ http://Rezny.deviantart.com/journal/26534763/ Tue, 11 Aug 2009 19:25:51 PDT
Honestly, I can say that not a whole lot is going on. Things between Mollie and I seem to be going okay. One day she randomly decided to start talking to me again but I'm still keeping my distance from her just in case, since I know how liable she is to drastically change moods... So, things are going okay for the time being, I guess. We're not ready to rip each others' heads off, so that's good.

Work was incredibly stressful last week... I called my manager because I was really confused about some edits to the schedule. She had myself and Rita (the other baker) working together last Monday night and neither of us were scheduled for the following night. (Keep in mind that I work by myself when I work along with Rita unless it's around Thanksgiving or Christmas, then the both of us are needed.) Apparently the oven was getting fixed and it was going to take all day Tuesday so there'd be no bake, meaning that we both had to crank out two bakes in one night, basically like Thanksgiving and Christmas all over again. I thought I was about ready to kill someone once that shift ended, I was so exhausted and pissed... (And it doesn't really help that I don't get along with Rita. I mean, I normally get along with everybody, but she's just really two-faced and she's also quite possibly the grumpiest old lady I've ever met in my life.) Anyway, after working a 9 1/2 hour shift and being extremely busy all night, I get a call from Marje before I leave. Originally, corporate was going to come down the next morning (that Wednesday) to come and show us how to make these new biscuits, but apparently Marje told them that we'd be too busy Wednesday and just to have myself and Rita be there early on Friday morning to learn it. So, I was off from work for three days in a row (urgh) and I go out of town to spend the night at Troy's that night (Tuesday night) and Wednesday night. I grew a little alarmed because I received two voicemail messages from work at about noon on Wednesday, basically wondering where I was because we were supposed to be there to do the bake. ... What? So, I called Marje and explained to her that she told me to come in on Friday morning, not that morning, and I wasn't told that we were going to be doing a whole regular bake, just those biscuits. (I also said that I didn't get her messages until I did because I don't have any reception where he's at.) She kind of got a little snippy with me, which was uncalled for but she just said she'd see me when I worked next (which was Friday night). I got really upset all of a sudden and cried, tripping over the fact that I might lose my job, but I had Troy calm me down and tell me that everything was okay and it wasn't my fault for miscommunication, which it wasn't. Besides, Marje herself can't bake and they're not going to find someone right off the bat. Hell, it took me a long time to get everything down... And he told me that I'm a really good baker, which made me feel good.
=]
Anyway, things are okay (I'm assuming) and I still have my hours, so that's good, I suppose.


Other than that, life has just been going okay. I've been out of town a lot this past week just to try and get away from work and such, but I'm doing okay. Just thought I'd let you all know...

Oh, and I got my colored pencils from my mom's house and I'm going to color that "Up, up, and away" picture sometime. (I'm thinking about buying a set of markers because I want to color the background black, but that'd be a pain in the ass with colored pencils...)

]]> ~Rezny http://Rezny.deviantart.com/journal/26146909/ http://Rezny.deviantart.com/journal/26146909/ Fri, 24 Jul 2009 08:58:00 PDT
I'm sick and tired of being upset and angry. That's all I've really been feeling for about the past week.

It all has to do with my roommate/supposed "best friend"...

Lately I've felt like we're not even close anymore. One minute she'll be all happy and we'll be talking and everything'll be great, and then the next she won't even say as much as two words to me for the whole day. The other day I randomly went to her MySpace page and was very disappointed to find out that I was nowhere to be found in her top friends (keep in mind I've been up there forever, practically) and that apparently she can't "talk to me/tell me anything" anymore. What the fuck. (I know you all are probably thinking "It's just MySpace. Who cares about "Top Friends drama"?" but I can't really help it. We've been "best" friends since the first grade.) So that just sort of confirmed the lack of closeness and everything as of late, so I took it upon myself to text her at work just to give her a head's up that I wanted to talk to her when she got home. Her reply was "What is there to talk about?", which really isn't a good way to start a conversation. Apparently there's something wrong and apparently there's something I want to discuss. At the very least, she could have worded that differently and could have said something like "What do you want to talk about?". So, I told her what was on my mind, that I felt like we're not best friends anymore and I wanted to see what was up. Out of nowhere, she accused me of "lying" and that I should "stop with the runaround games and just get to the point". That really pissed me off because I already said what was going on and why the fuck would I be lying? That's a shitty thing to accuse when she's known me for as long as she has and that I naturally try to be an honest person to the best of my ability. And then she just sort of kept going and said a bunch of dumb shit and accusations like "Well now you know how I feel when you changed for Troy so don't be pointing fingers when your hands are just as dirty" and "You're just mad because Chris and I are happy."

Urgh, lemme backtrack...

First of all, I have never changed for Troy and nor will I ever change for anybody. She told me herself at one point that "You're the exact same girl that you are before you met him and you'll always be that way". Pssh.

Also, I don't know if any of you recall me mentioning the stupid drama and bullshit that went along with Chris, but she ended up getting back together with him a couple of weeks ago, which I thought was a really bad move (along with the rest of my friends). Granted, I don't really like him and what he had done to her, but as long as he appears to be treating her decently, then who cares? Why would I be mad that they're happy? I'm, well, happy that things are going well so far. And besides, I have Troy, so there's no need for me to get jealous and "sit and brood in my room all day" or whatever the fuck else I'm accused of doing.

Anyway, that just really rubbed me the wrong thing and I stated the above things to her and finally just mentioned that if she wants to talk, that I'm here and arguing through text messaging is just pointless and stupid. "Well, you started it and I'm ending it now." For your information, I started NOTHING, unless trying to work things out and say what's been bugging me is "something I've started". So I told her that I started nothing and that we'll finish it later if she wants to talk. Yeah, "talking" still hasn't happened...

Troy came over yesterday since I had the day off and he wanted to spend the night. I informed him of what was going on and I was really frustrated because I didn't know what to do. Her attitude was completely uncalled for; this is why I don't like confrontation, especially to her. It seems that no matter how nice I'm going about the matter, she always bites my head off over the dumbest shit. For a while, I kind of had this mentality of "she better shape the fuck up or get the fuck out" but I know that her "getting out" isn't an option, no matter how much I want it to be. I can't afford a place on my own, I can't go back to my mother's, Troy's not ready for us to live together again (unfortunately because I'm more than ready) and I don't have a "back up" roommate, persay. So, I guess that resorts to us getting along, which I don't really know if that's going on right now because she's refusing to talk to me...

She randomly dipped out of the house for about six hours without even saying so much as where she's going or when she's coming back. I know she thinks I do that because she thinks I'm being "an obsessive mother", but I'm really not. Keeping people informed of where you're going and stuff is just common courtesy, not being "obsessive". P... ]]> ~Rezny http://Rezny.deviantart.com/journal/26031766/ http://Rezny.deviantart.com/journal/26031766/ Sat, 18 Jul 2009 18:54:15 PDT
My lack of motivation and inspiration to make some artwork is really starting to bother me. And because the fact that I don't really (okay, I don't) have any pencils to draw with doesn't help much either. My days just basically consist of the same things anymore. I get off of work, I go to bed, I go back to work. That's about it. Even on my days off I tend to just generally sleep. It's kind of sad and almost lazy, but I'm just so tired all of the time. Granted, there are some days when Troy comes over or I go down to his place and spend the night, but of course I'm focused on spending time with him and not producing anything. I dunno, perhaps someday. I'm just not really sure when that's going to be and when I'm going to get out of this "phase".

Anywho...

Something remotely interesting happened the other day; I finally gathered up the courage to call my mother. I mean, yesterday had been exactly a month since I've heard from her and considering I hadn't, I figured I'd do the right thing and see what she was up to. So, after toying back and forth with the idea I decided to give her a call at work. She didn't pick up, but I left her a voicemail basically saying "Hey, I just wanted to see how you were doing, I haven't heard from you in a while, give me a call back if you want." So, probably five minutes later she did and we talked for a little bit and she didn't sound upset or anything, which was what I was honestly preparing myself for. But no, she had a very nice tone with me and she was very glad I had called. Apparently I the day I left her that message to let her know what was going on in my life, she immediately sent me an e-mail as a reply to it, but I had never received it because she sent it to my Yahoo account, which is the one I never use and is devoted only to spam. So, naturally, she kind of interpreted it that I was upset with her, but I simply didn't know she e-mailed it to my other account. And I had the misunderstanding that she was upset with me because I thought that she didn't even make any sort of effort to contact me. All in all, it was just a mild misunderstanding between the both of us, but out of curiosity I asked her if she could send that e-mail to my Comcast account (the only e-mail address I actually use and check up on). Eh, I think I'll just post it rather than talk about what it consisted of...

Hello Kristen. I got your voicemail message this morning. I can't quite tell from it if you are seeking my approval for your decisions, or if you are looking for an argument. I'm not interested in giving you either one.

The situation that has and does exist is that your choices are about you. My choices are about me and what I need. What falls into my morals? What falls into my beliefs? What gives me peace? What gives me comfort?

I love you. I don't love your lifestyle. There is a difference.

I have to be at peace in my life. Having your lifestyle in my life will not give me peace. You have made your decisions and I accept them and I have made my decisions and you need to accept them. None of this makes you wrong and me right or you bad and me good.

Take care and good luck to you.

Love,
Mom

I'm still not entirely sure how my lifestyle seems so "rebellious" and "awful" as it seems to be portrayed, but nonetheless, I've learned to "accept" what she wants and it's cool that she's willing to do the same for me. I called her again when she got off of work and we talked for a while and I basically came up with the conclusion that apart we're living our own lives, but when we are actually spending time together, that time is for us and it's up to us to keep our lives back at home out of each others'. Or so that's what I gather from it.

So, yeah, that's pretty much what has been going on lately.

]]> ~Rezny http://Rezny.deviantart.com/journal/25670635/ http://Rezny.deviantart.com/journal/25670635/ Wed, 01 Jul 2009 10:29:06 PDT >_@
I don't know what the fuck Mollie's problem is, but she needs to chill the hell out. I'm just my normal self, I'm being nice and laid back, whatever, and she's been such a fucking bitch lately! Seriously, she needs to back up and get an attitude re-adjustment before I start looking for a new room mate already. (Dunno who that's going to be since I'll pretty much be stuck at the beginning all over again, but I'll worry about it if I have to; I'm obviously going to try and make things work, but she's already driving me crazy and I haven't done a damn thing to her! What the fuck?) Troy blames it on her being bi-polar, which she is, but I wouldn't use that as an excuse. Don't bitch me out when I haven't done anything to you in the first place, or we're gonna have some problems. Go and get some medicine for that or something, shit. I can almost hear my mother's voice booming in the back of my head going, "I told you so." I'm going to try and keep things on a positive note for now, but if they fail to stay that way, then I don't know. I just don't know.

I'm mostly upset at her for the bills. I kindly reminded her yesterday that rent was due today and she literally bit my fucking head off about it.
>_<
That, and I wanted her to throw me (not literally, but still) thirty bucks for her portion on the power bill, but I find out that she doesn't have the thirty dollars! She went ahead and spent the last of her money trying to get her go phone turned on and have minutes and everything when come to find out, she lost the receipt that had the pin number for her phone, so that was pretty much money down the drain.

Believe it or not, I'm actually more calm than I was earlier today. I was literally shaking when I was at work with her, I was so angry. And I even asked, "Hey, what's wrong?" to try and get some answers out of her, but she just said "Nothing" even though something's obviously bothering her. Whatever, I guess. If this shit keeps up though, I'm going to keep my room mate slot as open.

Okay, now that I'm done ranting...
o_o;

Just also wanted to add on a considerably happier note that my one year anniversary with Troy is tomorrow. I simply can't wait.
8D


Also, the Lord has certainly answered my prayers. I've really been stressing lately over our most current paycheck (which us employees at the Market received yesterday) because I have a lot of bills to pay on this pay period and I didn't even think I'd have enough money to cover them this time around much less with any money to buy groceries with (I'm seriously out of food right now). However, I was pleasantly surprised with a $498.18 paycheck, my highest one yet. You guys might not think that's a lot, but for me, someone who's constantly disappointed with only getting anywhere from $320-370 paychecks since I switched to bakery, I was happily surprised. I'll actually have some money to take Troy out for our dinner tomorrow, which is something we originally put off on doing because neither of us thought we'd have the money to do it, as sad as that sounds.

Although our power bill isn't due until the 14th, we get paid again on the 14th and I didn't want to wait that long; I like to get all of my bills out of the way (or as many as I can, anyway; some have to wait, of course). Thankfully, I have enough money now to cover the whole thing even without Mollie's portion. (As long as she pays me back on our next check I'll be fine...) And trust me, covering most if not all of my bills for the time being is something I cannot say very often, so I'm very, very grateful for the money I had received. I seriously prayed a few nights ago, hoping that my check would be remotely decent. As horrible as it sounds, I don't pray very often, but my mom has always told me that there's nothing wrong with asking for help every now and then.

]]> ~Rezny http://Rezny.deviantart.com/journal/25600650/ http://Rezny.deviantart.com/journal/25600650/ Sun, 28 Jun 2009 06:37:03 PDT =]

I hope you all enjoy.
^^

(If you find these distasteful or anything, do yourself [as well as me] a favor and don't look/comment. I enjoy doing these; I think they're a lot of fun. Granted, I'm no professional, but I certainly enjoy what I do.)

I also hope to make/post some drawings soon. I've had a few ideas in my head but have yet to do so.


]]> ~Rezny http://Rezny.deviantart.com/journal/25584953/ http://Rezny.deviantart.com/journal/25584953/ Sat, 27 Jun 2009 10:42:25 PDT
*sigh*

And now for a quiz taken from .

.+:FIRE:+.
[] You have a short temper.
[x] You often act on your emotions without thinking first.
[] You are very competitive.
[] You like to play with fire.
[x] You are not a strong swimmer or you can't swim at all.
[x] You prefer warm weather over cold weather.
[] You often lose control over yourself.
[] You can be quite reckless.
[] You sometimes hurt people without realizing it.
[] People have often called you insane.
Total: 3 of 10

.+:WATER:+.
[x] You have a calm, laid-back personality.
[Never been, so I couldn't say.] You like to go to the beach.
[x] You rarely get angry.
[/] When you do get angry, you know how to control it.
[x] You think before you act.
[x] You are good at breaking up fights.
[] You are a good swimmer.
[x] You like the rain.
[] You can stay calm in stressful situations.
[x] You are very generous.
Total: 6 1/2 of 10

.+:EARTH:+.
[] You are physically strong.
[] You have a close connection with nature.
[] You don't mind getting dirty.
[/] You form strong opinions on issues that concern you.
[] You could easily survive in the wild.
[x] You care about the environment.
[] You can easily focus on your work without getting distracted.
[x] You rarely get depressed.
[] You aren't afraid of anything.
[] You prefer to have a strict set of rules.
Total: 2 1/2 of 10

.+:AIR:+.
[x] You have a free spirit.
[/] You hate rules.
[] You prefer to be out in the open rather than in small, enclosed spaces.
[x] You hate to be restrained.
[/] You are very independent and outgoing.
[x] You are quite intelligent.
[x] You tend to be impatient.
[x] You are easily distracted.
[] You can sometimes be hyperactive and/or annoying.
[x] You wish you could fly.
Total: 7 of 10

.+: DARKNESS:+.
[x] You spend most of your time alone.
[x] You prefer nighttime over daytime.
[/] You like creepy things.
[] You like to play tricks on people.
[] Black is your favorite color.
[x] You prefer the villains over the heroes in movies, TV shows, video games, etc.
[x] You don't talk much.
[] You are an atheist.
[x] You don't mind watching scary movies.
[] Yo love to break the rules.
Total: 5 1/2 of 10

.+:LIGHT:+.
[x] You are very polite.
[x] You are spiritual.
[/] When someone is in trouble, you never hesitate to help them.
[/] You believe everything you see or hear.
[] You are afraid of the dark.
[/] You hate violence.
[x] You hope for world peace.
[x]You are generally a happy person.
[x] Everyone loves to be around you.
[/] You always follow the rules.
Total: 7 of 10

I am Light Air?

]]> ~Rezny http://Rezny.deviantart.com/journal/25408958/ http://Rezny.deviantart.com/journal/25408958/ Fri, 19 Jun 2009 05:42:33 PDT x_x

Well, Mollie's application got approved and she technically moved in Monday. Things were a little complicated/cramped because Troy didn't move any of his furniture out yet and plus we had Mollie's new stuff on top of it. Bleh. Well, he moved out all of his big things the next day and we've just been trying really hard to get things as organized and unpacked as possible. Troy still has some things here, but they're just little things and he's gradually taking a carload of stuff every time he comes down.

I got adventurous and called my mom the other day and left her a voicemail to let her know what was going on. At first I wasn't going to and was just going to wait for her to call, but considering I haven't heard from her in over two weeks, I figured she wasn't going to call anytime soon. I believe I left her that message Tuesday night and she still hasn't called me back. Oh well, forget her then.
:/

I also got to see the house that Troy's staying at the other day. (He's currently taking residence with his brother and his fiance.) It's a really nice house and everything and it's out in the country, but I couldn't live there. I'm so used to city life that being out in B.F.E. for so long would drive me crazy. It's certainly nice to get away to every once in a while, that's for sure.

Also, sorry I haven't updated/favorited/talked much. I'm starting to fall back into my "deviantART is boring phase. I usually get hooked for months on end, and then it'll suddenly strike me with boredom and then I don't really want to do anything on here. I'll get my motivation back eventually, but I've just been having a lot of shit going on for the time being.

]]> ~Rezny http://Rezny.deviantart.com/journal/25183941/ http://Rezny.deviantart.com/journal/25183941/ Sun, 07 Jun 2009 17:19:49 PDT X3


Life is going...eh, better I suppose. We're still waiting from our landlord to see if Mollie's application got approved and if so, it's smooth sailing from there. And work still sucks, but what else is new? At least I have a job, I guess.

So yeah.
:/

]]> ~Rezny http://Rezny.deviantart.com/journal/25104946/ http://Rezny.deviantart.com/journal/25104946/ Wed, 03 Jun 2009 10:46:34 PDT x_x

Alright, well, Monday evening when all of this shit was going down, I called my mom to let her know what I had finally decided, that being that even though she may not wanted to hear it, I had chose to remain together with him because we both still really do love and care about each other, we just don't think we were meant to live together (or at least yet) since our social lives clash so much. Well, I received a voicemail from her the following morning telling me that she thinks it would be best if we worked something out so we can stay there until our lease is up (which I believe is in September). This isn't quite what I had planned since we both want to live under different roofs yet still see each other. I mean, neither of us think we can go that long because he'll still want to have people over, I still want, and that's just going to cause a problem. Eventually I end up calling her at work (probably about an hour or so later than when I had originally received her voicemail) and kinda was just like "Uh, okay. What's going on now?", you know? Keep in mind that we had this whole thing all planned out, meaning that we were going to go and talk to our landlord today, hopefully see about leaving at the end of the month, he'd go and live with his brother and I'd go and live with my mom. Also keep in mind that Monday night I really had every single intention of breaking up with him and this is what I had told my mother last before I left her the message saying that I had changed my mind because I don't think it's the right thing to do unless I felt that things were going absolutely nowhere. My mom just starts tripping and giving me a bunch of bullshit, pretty much telling me that she won't let me move back in with her unless I break up with Troy. I told her straight up that I'm not going to do this because I had my mind made up. I'm sorry that I thought things differently the other day, but people talk and things change. It happens, I'm sorry. So, I'm pretty much just freaking the hell out, telling her that we had this all planned and now I don't know what to do. She claims that she "doesn't want to be caught in the middle" or "have there be any drama" but she's going to be stuck in the middle because this is all about me and him and nobody else and there wouldn't be any drama if she wasn't the one who decided to throw a stick in the spokes at the last moment and cause it all! I mean, really... Needless to say, I was pissed and I was very tempted to hang up the phone with her, but I decided not to and just said very hurriedly that I had to go and I needed to think. I immediately broke down and called my best friend Mollie and we met up and talked about what was going on. I still felt really upset, but I figured that my best option was to just wait and talk to him when he got off of work later that night. I got to thinking that, well, I obviously can't move back into my mom's, I most definitely can't afford an apartment on my own with no roommate or no one helping me, so I thought that I could just try and talk to him and tell him that I will accept the fact that he likes to have people over or whatever if he'll accept the fact that I want my quiet time, especially if I have to work that night. I didn't want to feel like I was going to trap him into staying with me just because I didn't have anywhere else to go, but at the same time, I didn't really have much else of a choice.

I got back home after picking up my check from work a short while later and Mollie left so she could head home and get changed so she could go back out and get groceries later. I never call my grandma about anything, but we're extremely close and I get the majority of my personality from her, so I figured I would give her a call and let her know what's going on and also to see if she could give me any advice. Surprisingly, this was probably one of the most disappointing phone calls I've ever had. She completely sided with my mother on this, saying that she feels that Troy doesn't treat me right and that he doesn't respect my feelings and if my mom's offering me a place to go (well, not anymore) then I should take that opportunity and leave him. But that's just the thing, I'm not going to leave him. I already have my mind made up on that and I'm not going to fucking break up with him just so I can have a roof over my head. Fuck that. It's just so unfair because I can't have both and no one seems to keep in mind what I think is right or what I think is going to make me happy.

Well, I got extremely upset all over again, broke down once more (I think I've cried more in the past three days than I have in my whole life, to be completely honest here) and immediately called Mollie, telling her what my grandma told me. We both thought that this was extremely shitty and to me even more so because I really... ]]> ~Rezny http://Rezny.deviantart.com/journal/25064644/ http://Rezny.deviantart.com/journal/25064644/ Mon, 01 Jun 2009 06:54:07 PDT
So the title might be a little extreme, but oh well...

Anyway, last night was a treat and a half. Ha. (I'm being sarcastic here...) Well, it all kind of started about nine-thirty last night. I was sleeping and my alarm was going to go off soon so I could get a shower and get ready for work and everything. Out of nowhere, Troy's brother comes over along with his woman and both are being extremely obnoxious and loud (to the point where they woke me up and I'm about ready to kill somebody). Now, I wouldn't have been nearly as upset about it if Troy would have said "Hey, just to let you know, my brother's going to be stopping by for a little bit." But anywho, I get pissed off enough that I just kinda shout "Troy! Get in here!" and he was just like "Why?" and I said "Just get in here." Apparently his brother could tell that I wasn't in a good mood and he and his chick dipped out. Finally Troy comes into the bedroom and I'm sitting in the bed with my arms crossed looking very, well, angry. And he has the nerve to act like I have nothing to be mad about or that there's nothing wrong in the first place! And that's pretty much what he said, too. "I don't see what the big deal is..." Keep in mind, I might have gotten a little upset with him on some occasions, but I've never, ever screamed at him. Ever. Until last night... My response to that wasn't a good one. Instead, it was "I FUCKING LIVE HERE!!!" You know, some of you might be thinking "Well, what is the big deal?" I admit, this wouldn't be so much of a problem if people coming over (randomly or not) was just an every so often sort of a thing, but no, this shit happens ALL the time and I'm fucking sick and tired of it. I feel like I don't even has a say-so in it anymore and I pay the rent just as much as he does. My mom has told me time and time again that there's only going to be so much that I can take until I reach my breaking point. He's pissed me off a little in the past and I've toyed around with the idea before, but I'm definitely going to do it this time; I'm going to get my own place. I told him that just because two people are together doesn't always mean that they're destined to live together. And in all honesty, anyone who knows us well enough can tell you, but our social lives are COMPLETE and total opposites. He's all about being a social butterfly and having people over and going out and partying, etc. If company comes over, I like to sit in the bedroom with the door shut and go on the computer and keep to myself. I'm perfectly content with being alone and he doesn't understand it. Apparently it "bugs the fuck" out of him, and yet it bugs the fuck out of me that he just can't accept me and love me for who I am. I'm sorry if I don't like having people over more than "once a year", from what he's told me, but that's just the way I am. Either you deal with it, or you don't, I guess if it should come to that. (But more than likely you should. Relationships are all about compromise and accepting each others' faults (if you call being "non-social" a fault...). I've accepted his faults (pot, etc.) so why can't he accept mine?) He gets so weird that I "don't like to come out and say "Hi" or would like to know who's in my house". I'm sorry, but I could really give a shit less unless it's someone I'm insanely close with. I don't want to say "Hi" and I'm wondering more why the fuck this person's in my house rather than wanting to "get to know them". I'm sorry, but that's just the way I am. And then he started going on this whole thing of "I don't see why I have to ask if it's okay before anyone comes over". Okay, first of all, it's common courtesy (especially last night when I was trying to sleep because I work weird hours since I work overnights) and I don't like being left in the dark. Also, if you want to have people over, that's fine, but do it when I'm not home or go do it somewhere else because I don't want to deal with it. And the thing that fucking pisses me off more than probably anything is that he treats me like I'm some fucking sideshow circus freak because I'm not social. Again, that's just the way I am. Respect me for who I am, motherfucker, or get the fuck out. I don't give him shit about anything ever and yet he makes the biggest fucking deal over the dumbest shit. He also bitched last night because earlier he had a friend over and I guess he didn't stay very long. I didn't have a problem with that friend being over because he, well, didn't stay very long and he was quiet.

So, I called my mom immediately after all of this was going on, bawling (keep in mind I had to be at work in an hour) and was just really upset. She told me that she'll support whatever decision I should make (whether I continue to put up with this bullshit and live with him or *get a place of my own*). I'll have to talk to him later about this, but my mom and I ta... ]]> ~Rezny http://Rezny.deviantart.com/journal/24927988/ http://Rezny.deviantart.com/journal/24927988/ Mon, 25 May 2009 19:13:08 PDT
I'm also not saying that you have to like them, but if you don't, please simply don't say anything and/or don't look at them. It's just that simple, yo.

:EDIT:

Ha ha, and 39,000 pageviews already. Yay.
X3

]]> ~Rezny http://Rezny.deviantart.com/journal/24830781/ http://Rezny.deviantart.com/journal/24830781/ Mon, 18 May 2009 21:08:51 PDT ^^



You're all amazing as always.
=]]


And now for a random quiz that I took from a deviant whose name I don't remember.
XD


MYTHICAL CREATURE QUIZ:

Centaur:
[] You are rather wild, and let your instincts run you.
[] You get drunk a lot.
[] Bravery and boldness is second nature to you.
[/] You have a deep love for astronomy and the universe.
[x] You like to read your daily horoscope.
[] You have a high level of pride in yourself.
[] In the woods is the best place for you to be.
[x] You are spiritual.
[] The horse is your favorite animal.
[x] You are possessive and territorial.
Total: 3 1/2

Elf:
[] Your ears are slightly pointed at the tips.
[x] You are very intelligent.
[] Your five senses are extremely keen.
[] Your weight is quite a bit lighter than the average person at your particular height.
[] You always wear elegant clothes and speak as politely as possible.
[x] You are most at peace when you are gazing at something beautiful, like nature.
[x] You look very young for your age.
[] You rarely get sick.
[x] You are a very hard worker.
[] Above all other superpowers, you would love to read minds or see the future.
Total: 4

Fairy:
[x] You are happy a lot of the time.
[x] The best superpower to you would be to fly.
[x] You are very shy.
[x] You love the forest and plant life in general.
[x] You are always willing to help others, even if you might not be the best to offer aid.
[x] You are young and short.
[] Dancing is one of your favorite pastimes.
[] If someone ticks you off, you are very clever with getting them back.
[x] Your clothing isn't always presentable, but you are comfortable with what you wear.
[] Circles are a wonderful symbol of unity to you.
Total: 7

Gnome/Dwarf:
[x] You are excellent with crafts and handiwork.
[x] In social situations, you tend to be a little awkward.
[x] You are short for your age.
[x] You are an isolationist.
[] You love to play practical jokes on people.
[] You are extremely fascinated with jewelry.
[] You look older than your age.
[] You love the woods and the mountains.
[/] You are well off, or come from a family that is well off.
[] You have a short temper.
Total: 4 1/2

Harpy/Siren:
[x] You are best at talking bad about people behind their backs and not to their face.
[] When you are annoyed, you will go to a great extent to torment whoever did so to you.
[] You often take things that aren't yours.
[] You are easily angered.
[] Death fascinates you.
[x] You are female, or a feminine-looking man.
[x] You associate yourself with the wind element.
[] You can switch quickly between your light and dark side.
[] You love to trick others.
[] You have a ravenous appetite.
Total: 3

Mermaid:
[] You love the beach moreso because of the water than the shore itself.
[] Fish are some of the most beautiful creatures to you.
[x] The ultimate superpower to you would be to breathe underwater.
[] You enjoy looking at ships, but not riding them, as well as you like ships for traveling, not hunting in the sea.
[] You are good at swimming.
[] You like to collect shells.
[] You use sea items as jewelry or decoration.
[x] You enjoy learning about the ocean and the life inside it.
[x] You are extremely against ocean pollution, and someday, perhaps (if you haven't already), you will work to stop that.
[/] Legs on land are not as important as a fin in the sea.
Total: 3 1/2

Vampire:
[x] You're a night person.
[x] You have a fascination with blood.
[/] You are extremely pale.
[] You wish you had a bat as a pet.
[] You are not religious at all.
[x] Tight spaces are not scary or uncomfortable for you.
[x] The sun's glare annoys you all too often.
[x] You hate food with lots of garlic in it.
[/] To you, a kiss on the neck is more romantic than a kiss on the cheek or lips.
[x] You don't like sharp objects near you.
Total: 7

Werewolf:
[x] The full moon is the most beautiful scene to you.
~Rezny http://Rezny.deviantart.com/journal/24753889/ http://Rezny.deviantart.com/journal/24753889/ Thu, 14 May 2009 13:16:21 PDT

Sorry for all of the journal updates, but for once in my life I have a lot of shit going on.
>>

First off, I got a free meal from Panda Express yesterday.
8D
(It was completely unintentional, but still.) Keep in mind that I ordered just one meal, and we pull up to the window and the guy hands me my food and swipes my debit card and hands it back to me and is suddenly all "Oh, wait just one second!" and darts off. I'm kinda like "Uh, okay. o_o" He finally comes back and hands me another bag of food and was like "Does this look okay?" and I just go "Uh, sure! " and then we took off.

(Yes, I checked to make sure that the receipt said I only paid for one meal, which it deal.)
Free meals rock.
X3

Now for some kind of odd news (or at least odd for me) apparently Troy had to find out from his mom that Chad (his older brother) is getting married.
o_O
I'm honestly not sure what to think about it. He kind of has this whole "I'm grown up and can do whatever the fuck I want!" attitude and I'm not sure if I really dig that.
:/
And another thing, he and this chick haven't been dating that long, maybe three or four months. I don't know, maybe this is just me, but people usually date for, oh, I don't know...YEARS before they decide to get hitched. But, then again, that's just me.
>__>
I'm happy for him, I guess, but apparently his mom still hasn't met this Tiffany chick yet. Not exactly the greatest idea if you just up and say "Oh, I'm marrying such-and-such!" (Well, fucking hell, she's sitting in the next room [his brother and her are staying here for the night, I think] and we still haven't properly met yet.) <---- This might have to do with the fact that I'm not very sociable and Chad doesn't really...have the best taste in women to begin with (think along the lines of ghetto white trash). I know that's probably not a very good thing to first assume of someone I haven't technically yet met, but I know those are the kind of girls he falls for.

Anyway...

Last night was definitely a trip. We've been getting thunderstorms for probably the past four days in a row or so, but last night was just...wow.
o_o
I had to work last night and the storm brewing was just getting more intense the more the time neared for me to go into work. (The lights were kind of flickering and I could hear the thunder from in the bathroom with the door shut.) The whole time I couldn't really help but think "Damn, I hope this storm doesn't knock power to my oven out." (Keep in mind that I'm an overnight baker at a grocery store...)

Well, pretty much as soon as Troy pulls up to drop me off...it seriously looked like a laser light show in the store. The fluorescent lights were just going on and off all in a row, it was trippy as hell. And, to make things worse, my oven's literally screaming and I don't know what to do and before I can really do anything, the overnight manager, Gary, tells me to go to the front and keep an eye on the storm and not to let any customers in the store. So, I'm just kind of hanging out, not really sure what to do, when suddenly the fire department shows up with full-clad firefighters and everything. It was weird.
O_o
(I guess there were reports of a small fire in the back room or something, which made me feel even more safe... 9_9 *sarcasm*)

So, I'm finally informed that there's absolutely no way in hell my oven's coming back on and that Gary called an electrician and that he didn't expect things to get fixed until five or six this morning. After frantically calling for a while, I finally got a hold of my assistant manager and she basically instructed me to go home. I mean, what was there for me to do? I bake. I'm a baker. My work revolves around my oven and if I don't have my oven, I can't work. So, I guess it was pretty neato to have a night off of work...

]]> ~Rezny http://Rezny.deviantart.com/journal/24707741/ http://Rezny.deviantart.com/journal/24707741/ Mon, 11 May 2009 17:18:11 PDT

Just when I thought all of this drama bullshit was over...
*sigh*
I should have known better...

I'm really concerned about my friend Mollie. Emotionally, in a way, she seems to be doing better about Chris, but in a way, she's not exactly handling things the right way. I mean, for the past few nights she's been going out to the bar (keep in mind she's still 19) and getting drunk AND has to go to work the next morning... I wouldn't have nearly as much of a problem with the situation if, well, she was 21 and didn't have to work the next day that she decided to do this. Also, (I don't really care if this is too much information or not) but I like sex as much as she does, but she's not really...thinking about it. She's just wants to get laid by random guys that she's never met and that just really rubs me the wrong way. She had some party on Saturday night (which was a huge flop like all of her other parties, but I'm not much into big crowds anyway) and her aunt brought this guy over, and my first impression of him was just really bad. I could tell that he was just a sleazeball just from looking at him. (I mean, hell, he was all over my friend Holly because she had a bit much to drink and was kind of out of it and I could tell that somewhere in his head he wouldn't mind taking advantage of her.) Troy even said that he went to high school with this guy and he's just a piece of shit. Apparently he hasn't changed much then... Well, Troy, Holly, and myself ended up leaving because Mollie's aunt wanted to take her out to some bars and since Holly and I aren't old enough and I don't care for that sort of a thing, we just left and went home. Anywho, I get this message from Mollie the other night saying along the lines of "Oh, I totally got some the other night and we watched a movie together and I had so much fun, and blah blah blah". Well, naturally, I got really pissed off because I'm worrying over as it is and then she goes and pulls this shit. I told her that I love her and I care for her, but I will be extremely disappointed if she gets together with this motherfucker. And what do I get as an answer? "Oh, it was just for one night." Great, so now you're having random one-night stands with guys you've never even met!? I don't even think she's using protection and as much as she claims to want a baby, she can't afford one right now. She can hardly pay her own bills and rent and can't even take care of a fucking DOG, much less would want a BABY in her life. Her school work is also being greatly affected. I've told her that I was proud of her because she actually got back into college unlike myself, but honestly, ever since this whole Chris bullshit drama, I don't even remember the last time she's done any homework, and I don't think she does either. I've mentioned to her before that I'm concerned about her dog because, honestly, it's emaciated and has worms. I actually was the one who could tell that she has worms because she was dragging her butt on the ground and I told Mollie that either means that she has anal blockage or she has worms. It really doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure that out... And I know that she loves her dog, but she's still not taking care of it properly ever since shit between her and Chris went downhill. I'm sorry, but you're not supposed to see a dog's ribs and hip bones, even if you claim to feed it three times a day. (In all honesty, I think I've seen her feed it once the whole time I've been over there.) I know she loves it because she does, but I don't really think she could keep it if she's not willing to take care of it. I don't even think it's been to the vet and I'm really big on "if you don't have the money, you shouldn't have it". That's why Troy and I have a guinea pig. It's something small that we know we can take care of and have time for and over the course of maybe a few years or so, perhaps we'll upgrade when we know we can properly take care of something that requires a little more responsibility. The thing that just really pissed me off about the whole thing is she replies and is just all "Oh, everything's fine!" No, everything's not "fine". She needs counseling to get her through this; she's just in denial about EVERYTHING. She has a real patience and co-dependency issue and she needs to learn to be comfortable with being by herself. I'm trying to do everything I can and when I get pushed enough, I'll actually say what's been on my mind, but it's like it doesn't seem to do a damn bit of good because she doesn't listen to me, or it just goes in one ear and out the other. As horrible as it may sound, I'm even pondering my friendship with her. In a way, I'm glad to have her back in my life again, but at the same time, when I wasn't talking to her,... ]]> ~Rezny http://Rezny.deviantart.com/journal/24631169/ http://Rezny.deviantart.com/journal/24631169/ Thu, 07 May 2009 07:48:48 PDT

Well, this journal is going to be kind of half and half, considering that I did have some slightly good things going on yesterday and today...

Usually I start with good news, but for once there's more bad than good, so I'll just begin with the not so great news first...

1. Troy went out of town yesterday to see his brother in Peoria who just got out of jail. Granted, I'm happy for him and I want him to spend time with his brother, but I miss him like mad. Hopefully he'll be home by Friday night like he had originally planned because I don't know if I can wait any longer than that...

2. My friend Mollie's been having a lot of shit going on. In a nutshell, she's been with this guy for not even two months and she had him move in with her when they were dating for only about a week. (I know I'm not really one to talk, but Troy and I didn't move quite THAT fast.) Anyway, he made all of these false promises and spoon fed her bullshit just to make everything sound fine and dandy, when in all actuality he's fucking some fat bitch with a kid behind her back. And yet, the killer thing was that all of those comments were up on his MySpace for the whole fucking world to see. Cheating's horrible in the first place, I know, but do that shit discreetly or something, Goddamn. And dude's little sister's trying to start shit and say that she hooked him and this fat slut up because she hates Mollie, blah blah blah. Yeah, too much fucking drama for me for one night, let me tell you. Mollie was scared and didn't want to stay at her apartment last night because this guy's sister was making dumb threats and we didn't know if anyone was capable of breaking in, so just for her own safety, I called the non-emergency police to keep some extra patrol cars around the premises in case something looked fishy. She stayed the night with me last night and might tonight as well, but we'll see.

3. Before everything in number two happened, I had an extremely busy day to begin with. Troy and I had a shitload of errands to run before he could leave for Peoria (like doing laundry, going to Petsmart to get stuff for Turdie, buying me a new pair of work shoes since my old ones were dying, etc.) So, that just sucked and I was tired from the get-go.

4. And this bit of news probably hurt me more than anything. Well, I got my pap smear done probably about a week to two weeks ago and the doctor is supposed to send you a letter if everything's fine or they'll call you if something's wrong. About ten after eight this morning, my cell phone rings and it's the doctor's office. They told me that my cells are slightly abnormal, but it wasn't severe or even moderate, just a very low risk. However, I was still extremely upset and was bawling my eyes out because this shit runs in my family. I mean, my grandma had cervical cancer and had to get everything removed and now my mom has cancerous cells on her ovaries and if things don't progressively get better, then she's going to have to undergo the same procedure as my grandmother. I'm feeling a little better now, because my mom's right (I called her as soon as I found out about this). She told me that it doesn't necessarily mean that the cells in my cervix are cancerous, they just spotted a slight abnormality and want to keep and eye on it and try to take care of it before things (well, if things) should get worse. Earlier just sucked because I really wanted a hug and Troy's not here and Mollie's at work. And I have to go to work tonight, fun fun. 9_9

You know, the more I think of it, there's only one good thing I can really come up with, sadly...

1. I finally managed to make my Super Muffin T-shirt. (I'm going to copy and paste everything from my artist's comments because I'm too lazy to re-type everything. XD) So, the whole "Super Muffin" thing started when I'm at work and if I have time or get bored enough, I'll doodle Troy (my boyfriend) as a chibi. Well, the other night I randomly gave him a cape and therefore he became Super Muffin in that little doodle; I call him "muffin" as one of my pet names.

Well, while he's out of town for a few days, I thought it would be a really neat idea to buy some fabric paint and a plain black T-shirt and actually make a Super Muffin shirt. So, with some neon yellow fabric paint and a little bit of patience, this shirt was born.
X3

]]> ~Rezny http://Rezny.deviantart.com/journal/24492009/ http://Rezny.deviantart.com/journal/24492009/ Wed, 29 Apr 2009 05:43:49 PDT

I'm kind of late, but thank you everyone for 37,000 pageviews!



Sorry yet again for lack of work. I've been busy at my job and I just don't have any inspiration/motivation (what else is new?)

Things haven't really changed much since the last time I've updated, and yet I've felt a need to update just for shits and giggles. I really need a new job, although I'm sure this isn't the first time I've mentioned such. I'm just tired of being treated like shit. :/

]]> ~Rezny http://Rezny.deviantart.com/journal/24161297/ http://Rezny.deviantart.com/journal/24161297/ Fri, 10 Apr 2009 08:45:46 PDT

This is the biggest load of bullshit I have ever heard. What the fuck? I mean seriously.

(Copied from 's journal.)

Some of you may have heard, but I am sure most of you haven't, about the new bill that may be passed "HR669".

If this bill gets passed, you can kiss your exotic animals goodbye, you'll probably only have cats and dogs left.

It's a bill that is trying to ban all exotic and non-native animals as pets.

Examples include but are not limited to: Ferrets, Hamsters, Rats, Beta Fish, Geckos, Snakes, Frogs, Chinchillas, Sugar Gliders, Birds and so on and so forth.

Now, I understand why they are doing this, but I think they're not thinking this through fully.

I am in full support of bans on keeping wild animals as pets.

Examples include, but are not limited to: Wolves, Tigers, Alligators, Chimps and other Primates, Venomous or XL Snakes.
These are wild animals and SHOULD NOT BE PETS.

Trust me, I know it sucks. You won't meet another person who would love to have a wolf as much as me, but it's not right or safe. It's common sense.

How can you help?
Spread the word around!
Call your congress peeps. [But for the love of God, do it in a CIVIL MANNER. Hell, I wouldn't want to be called and yelled at either, so if you call them, talk to them civilly.]

Sorry this journal was rushed, but I really just want to spread the word across. If you care about these animals, I suggest you do the same.
We must protect our exotics.

FOR MORE INFORMATION ON HR669, PLEASE LOOK IT UP ON GOOGLE!

]]> ~Rezny http://Rezny.deviantart.com/journal/24143498/ http://Rezny.deviantart.com/journal/24143498/ Thu, 09 Apr 2009 08:48:04 PDT


Thank you all for 36,000 pageviews!

<3

For whatever reason, my pageviews have skyrocketed in the past few days and I have no idea why.
o_O
It's not like I'm doing anything different, after all...

Sorry I haven't updated in a bit, but alas, nothing too exciting is going on (as usual). Just working, and I'm super glad right now to have three days off in a row from work (although the only thing that sucks is that I'm not getting paid for those three days).

Also, for funsies, my nine month anniversary with Troy was on the 2nd. (A teeny bit ago, but still. ) I can't believe we've been together that long already.
o.o
<3
(Not that that's a bad thing, of course. )

]]> ~Rezny http://Rezny.deviantart.com/journal/23912007/ http://Rezny.deviantart.com/journal/23912007/ Fri, 27 Mar 2009 06:02:46 PDT

Taken from .

The rules are:
* Choose a singer/band/group.
* Answer using ONLY titles of songs by that singer/band/group.
* Tag 6 more people (let them know they've been tagged).

Nine Inch Nails

1. Are you male or female?
Reptile.

2. Describe yourself.
Somewhat Damaged.

3. What do people feel when they're around you?
Hurt. (Not really, but I couldn't think of anything else. )

4. How would you describe your previous relationship?
Help Me I Am In Hell. (I didn't technically have a "previous relationship", so I just thought this sounded cool. )

5. Describe your current relationship.
All The Love In The World.

6. Where would you want to be now?
Beside You In Time.

7. How do you feel about love?
The Hand That Feeds.

8. What's your life like?
Every Day Is Exactly The Same.

9. What would you ask for if you had only one wish?
Something I Can Never Have.

10. Say something wise.
The Line Begins To Blur.

I don't really like tagging, so whoever in the hell wants to do this, feel free.


]]> ~Rezny http://Rezny.deviantart.com/journal/23853225/ http://Rezny.deviantart.com/journal/23853225/ Mon, 23 Mar 2009 16:59:23 PDT

Thank you all so very much for 35,000 pageviews!



I can't believe I have that many.
o_O
I'm not worthy, I tell you!
D:

Anywho, not too much has been going on (sorry for not updating in a bit). I'm desperately looking for a new job. I got suspended for three days at work over dumb shit and then I had my hours cut drastically. (My hours are back for now, but I don't know for how long. :/) I honestly don't know if I'll even have enough money to pay my part of rent this month, and I always have enough to cover rent. Oi... Life is just...meh at the moment. I seriously hope things get better. I'm tired of being treated like shit at this position.
><

]]> ~Rezny http://Rezny.deviantart.com/journal/23601854/ http://Rezny.deviantart.com/journal/23601854/ Sun, 08 Mar 2009 23:34:22 PDT

The weather Sunday was certainly interesting, to say the least.
o_o;;

My mom and I went to Decatur to visit my grandma so she could celebrate our birthdays together (since they're both in March). It was extremely windy today. Pretty much, if you tried to get out of the car, the wind would just slam the door shut again, like, really hard. We had a really nice time and we left Decatur at about four or four-thirty and about a half an hour later my grandma called me and said she watched the news and said that there was severe weather and even a tornado that hit Springfield earlier in the day. A trailer park and an apartment complex got some pretty extensive damage, this is what was in the top news. There was thankfully no damage where I'm at, but my mom is seriously just up the street and it was pretty bad where she's at. Her condo is fine, but her neighbors have tarps on their roofs since they got blown off. The tree in front of my mom's house is completely obliterated and she has no idea where it might have ended up; the only thing left is just a mangled stump. She took the garbage out later and she said that all of the garages facing the dumpster are slanted at about a forty-five degree angle and one of the garage doors got blown off. Needless to say, there's absolutely nothing left inside. Also, she mentioned that behind her next door neighbor's house are about twenty uprooted trees, just piled behind her house like toothpicks.

I'm happy we weren't home to experience it and that we left when we did. Just to think that I walked to her house about two hours before it even happened... It is that time of year now, I suppose...

]]> ~Rezny http://Rezny.deviantart.com/journal/23463089/ http://Rezny.deviantart.com/journal/23463089/ Sun, 01 Mar 2009 04:32:59 PST

...to me.
I can't believe I'm 20 already.
o_O

:EDIT:

Also, thank you all as always for 34,000 pageviews!



]]> ~Rezny http://Rezny.deviantart.com/journal/23334260/ http://Rezny.deviantart.com/journal/23334260/ Sat, 21 Feb 2009 23:47:38 PST

Not to cause concern or alarm, just Jesus Christ, I just don't know what happened.
o_o;;

I've been pretty shitty and sick for the past four days and I figured that taking a shower might make me feel just a little better. Well, I was standing there and suddenly I felt just...terrible. My heart rate went up, my vision got weird, I had a hard time keeping my balance, I got hot, and among God knows what else. I fell in the shower without even realizing it. I'm not hurt or anything (or at least from what I can tell) but my God... I just remember sitting there, kinda sprawled out with the water hitting me and the faucet was right against my shoulder. The water kept getting higher and higher and I just didn't know what was wrong or what to do, plus I couldn't really even move. Somehow, I finally managed to get out of there and I'm assuming on my way down I must have tightened the stopper (if it twists to the left it closes, if it twists to the right it opens back up again). I didn't do anything but just sit there on the toilet seat for the longest time, dripping wet and spacing out. I was as pale as death itself and my pupils were extremely small. I also know since I'm sick that I should be eating and drinking a lot of fluids in order to get me to feeling better, and I've been trying to drink, but I just can't for the life of me get me to eat. It just doesn't sound good to me right now, which is rather strange considering I love to eat. I've been pretty much in a zombified state these past few days, just lying in bed and doing nothing else. On and off fevers, non-stop coughing... It sucks. I hope I can get to a doctor soon.

Man, it's a good thing I called off of work tonight...

]]> ~Rezny http://Rezny.deviantart.com/journal/23247628/ http://Rezny.deviantart.com/journal/23247628/ Tue, 17 Feb 2009 05:00:05 PST

Sorry I haven't been too active as of late.
>_>

But, anywho, thank you all for 33,000 pageviews~!



Also, my birthday is in 12 days (March 1st) already and that is a very scary thought.
o_O
I don't wanna be 20. I feel old.
:/

]]> ~Rezny http://Rezny.deviantart.com/journal/22943702/ http://Rezny.deviantart.com/journal/22943702/ Sun, 01 Feb 2009 13:07:33 PST

]]> ~Rezny http://Rezny.deviantart.com/journal/22876417/ http://Rezny.deviantart.com/journal/22876417/ Wed, 28 Jan 2009 22:28:59 PST

Hooray! I finally got my nipples pierced today!


I decided not to go with the guy at my work because I figured that if nothing else and if the piercing parlor screwed up, I could at least hold them accountable and although he's a cool guy and has his license, I'd much rather prefer a professional, no offense to him or anything. So, we had A LOT of errands to run, including picking up my paycheck, which was the worst in history even though I'm staying later and getting more hours. I was really disappointed because I knew that there was absolutely no way I'd have any money left to get my nipples done (hell, I only have two bucks left) and Troy knew how badly I wanted to get them done so he said not to worry about it and that he'd take care of everything and that arguing with him would be pointless.


So, after forgetting my I.D. and having to go all the way across town just to go back across town (I fail), I finally got 'em done at about five 'o clock.
=]]
The right one didn't hurt at all and I actually kinda liked the clamp part.
X3;;
HOWEVER, oh Lord, the left one hurt sooooo bad.
;___;
I'm surprised I didn't break Troy's hand, I was squeezing it so hard.
>>;
And it bled just a teeny bit, but that's just because it really hurt.
:/
( I teared up a little bit, too. D: )

All in all, it only cost me $55 to get both done, the atmosphere was very laid back, and I finally got them done!

I got barbells instead of hoops (I originally wanted hoops 'cause I like them better), but since he was the professional, I figured I'd let him choose what would be best for me. They hurt like hell afterward, but taking about three Ibuprofen has helped considerably.

Hell, I can't even really tell that they're there right now (I probably won't be saying that tomorrow, ha ha).

Annnd, the best part, my mom actually didn't mind that I got it done, which is shocking because she's so freaking weird about everything else. She was just worried that I was pressured into it and I told her no way in hell, this was all me, definitely. (She was also glad that the piercing is discreet.)

So yeah, I don't feel too bad right now and if there's any spelling/grammar errors while I'm typing this, I apologize, but I'm a little tired.


Also, it's reassuring in a sense because I have no pain tolerance whatsoever, and yet I managed to do this okay, so let that be some sort of inspiration for you all! ... Or something.
<.<

]]> ~Rezny http://Rezny.deviantart.com/journal/22789535/ http://Rezny.deviantart.com/journal/22789535/ Sat, 24 Jan 2009 19:26:35 PST

I want to get my nipples pierced. Dead serious about it, too. I've actually been toying with the idea for about six months or so now, and I think I finally want to get them done. I'm super excited about the idea, and Troy totally supports my decision, needless to say.
XD
There's a guy who works in the deli at County Market (I used to work in the deli, I'm now in the bakery) who has his piercing license and I'm going to get some price ideas from him. So, since my friend Mollie is getting her belly button re-pierced, she was wanting to head to the mall next week to get a starter belly button ring, so out of curiosity, I asked "Do they sell nipple rings at the mall?" and almost immediately Troy exclaims "HELL YEAH THEY SELL NIPPLE RINGS AT THE MALL! O__O"
X'D
I just found that really funny.


So yeah, I totally want to do this and I'm really excited about it.


]]> ~Rezny http://Rezny.deviantart.com/journal/22649012/ http://Rezny.deviantart.com/journal/22649012/ Mon, 19 Jan 2009 21:01:08 PST

I come bearing pictures!

(the friend whom I did the shoot with) went back to college (therefore back to her USB cable) so the pictures are finally up!

I think they turned out quite well and don't forget to check hers out as well!


(Keep in mind that this is my first ever nude shoot...)

Also, DAMN. My inbox was literally out of control after I posted these. I was definitely not expecting that at all, so what a pleasant surprise!


And my pageviews suddenly went, like, apeshit, so thank you all so very much for 30,000 pageviews!



:EDIT:

Thank you so very much for these!



[link]

[link]

:EDIT 2:

Holy crap, 31,000!? That's madness!
XD
I love you guys!
X3

]]> ~Rezny http://Rezny.deviantart.com/journal/22525935/ http://Rezny.deviantart.com/journal/22525935/ Sun, 11 Jan 2009 13:27:20 PST

Yeah, no real point in this, but I just realized that my subscription expired.

Hopefully I'll have enough money on my paycheck to get another one...
>.>

LA~

And so the randomness begins...

Still no pictures.
:/
Apparently my friend isn't going back to school until the 26th or something, so who knows when they'll be posted, but hopefully it'll be sometime this month.


Annnnd, I got my second round of antibiotics (finally) and I am feeling much better!

So, hopefully I'll finally get over this damn sinus infection of mine.


Also had a slight scare with Troy sometime last week. We spent about four hours in the emergency room (mainly waiting to get a room more than anything T_T) when he was instructed to go there for puking up blood.
o_o;;
Thankfully it wasn't an ulcer, but it's in the beginning process. I believe he has "Gastritis", which is the proper medical term. Basically, he has to cut down and/or lay off spicy food, smoking, and drinking, all of which he loves. I told him I wasn't nearly as concerned with the others as I was the drinking (since he literally drinks on a daily basis, about a beer a night or so). So, I'm kinda getting on him about that, without being a total nag at the same time, you know? I told him that he has to be willing to change himself, but I'm still worried and still want him to quit or at least dramatically cut down. He's been through addiction before and has managed to quit, so I'm confident he'll do fine.
^_^
(Well, he doesn't necessarily have to quit, but you know what I mean.)

He also told me something this morning that made me think and, naturally, made me very happy. He asked if I ever considered going back to school and getting into drawing. I told him that I see drawing as simply a hobby and besides, I don't think I'm nearly as good at it as other people out there, so I don't stand a chance. But he's really eager about it and wants me to pursue it, so we'll see. I have to pay off my loans first, ha ha. I originally was in school to get into writing but I've also been thinking about meteorology as well, since I've been a huge weather nut since I was a kid, but the math in that would just fuck me up.
:/

And and and, I'm super geeked (for the first time in my life) about Valentine's Day.
8DDD
I'm actually going to have someone to spend it with this year and he said he wants to take me to a nice restaurant and everything. I can't wait.
X33
I've always despised Valentine's with a passion because, let's face it, I was jealous seeing everyone "oh so happy" and "oh so in love" when I've never had anyone in my life to share that with until now.
...
In your face, bitches!
>DDDDD

Ahem...
>>;;

That is all.


]]> ~Rezny http://Rezny.deviantart.com/journal/22397289/ http://Rezny.deviantart.com/journal/22397289/ Sun, 04 Jan 2009 15:23:07 PST



Tagged by .

Number your twelve favorite characters from any fandom and then answer the questions.

1. Pyramid Head from Silent Hill 2
2. Walter Sullivan from Silent Hill 4
3. Toki Wartooth from Metalocalypse
4. Frylock from Aqua Teen Hunger Force
5. Johnny Napalm from the Guitar Hero games
6. Sakaki from Azumanga Daioh
7. Snape from Harry Potter
8. Lupin from Harry Potter
9. Jason Voorhees from the Friday the 13th movies
10. Kraven from Underworld
11. Eric Draven from The Crow
12. And for shits and giggles, Pfil from Bondage Fairies

1. Have you ever read a Six/Eleven fic? Do you want to?
No. An anime character and an actual man don't really work and plus Eric was in love to begin with so he wouldn't be interested in anyone else. (Plus it'd be uber weird.)

2. Do you think Four is hot? How hot?
Ha ha, he's hot in an extremely nerdy way. XD I giggle everytime I see the episode when he randomly gets in his bondage gear, though. XP

3. What would happen if Twelve got Eight pregnant?
A girl getting a guy pregnant? Weird... And that would just be awkward unless people would really want fairy bondage werewolf babies. o_O

4. Can you recall any fic(s) about Nine?
Uh, there was this one where he got it on with this victim in the forest, and it turned out it was one of Freddy's tricks or something. It was actually pretty good even though Jason wouldn't be caught dead (even though he is dead) having sex with anybody since he's so firmly against it.

5. Would Two and Six make a good couple?
Walter and Sakaki? No. Maybe if it was Osaka and in my world Walter's only interesting in Henry anyway. 8D

6. Five/Nine or Five/Ten? Why?
Dude, five/ten. Random punk man and a smexy vampire dude would be totally hot. O____O <3

7. What would happen if Seven walked in on Two and Twelve having sex?
Ha ha~! Snape walking in on Walter and Pfil? That'd be awesome! Snape would probably have a nosebleed and then walk away, and by the way, it'd probably be pretty hard to have a normal (well not so much "normal", but you know what I mean) man to have sex with fairy anyway...

8. Make up a summary for a Three/Ten fic.
Dude, Toki and Kraven? That'd be pretty cool. But, um, let's see...

After Dethklok's tour bus crashes in the mountains on their way to a big show, Toki wanders away from the wreckage and eventually finds himself separated from his bandmates. Concerned, worried, and slightly scared, he desperately tries to find his way back but is unsuccessful. He is in for a great surprise as a greedy and arrogant vampire stumbles upon him. Now, the creature must decide if the long-haired man will simply become his next meal, or something much more sinister.

Dun dun dun...

9. Is there any such thing as One/Eight fluff?
Pyramid Head and Lupin? Eh, anything's possible, I guess. Pyramid Head's a whore. (Fluff not so much though. Pyramid Head isn't exactly the "fluff" type...)

10. Suggest a title for a Seven/Twelve hurt/comfort fic.
Snape and Pfil, eh? Hmm... How about "Small Miracles in a Big World"? Kinda lame, but whatever.

11. What kind of plot would you use if you wanted Four to deflower One?
"Deflower"? Huh. But honestly, I have no idea. XDD

13. Does anyone one your friends list read Three het?
You never know.

14. Does anyone one your friends list write or draw Eleven?
Probably.

15. Would anyone one your friends list write Two/Four/Five?
I highly doubt it. XD

16. What might Ten scream at a moment of great passion?
I don't know. He's a greedy, blood-lusting, asshole-ish, sex-craving vampire, so I guess anything's possible, really.

17. If you wrote a song-fic about Eight, which song would you choose?
"Animal I Have Become" by Three Days Grace.

18. If you wrote a One/Six/Twelve f... ]]> ~Rezny http://Rezny.deviantart.com/journal/22278812/ http://Rezny.deviantart.com/journal/22278812/ Wed, 31 Dec 2008 04:36:09 PST



So, I thought that the photoshoot was a complete success last night!

I thought that a lot of the photos turned out really cute.
X3
Only thing is that my friend who took the pictures (and I took some of her as well) thinks that she left the USB cable at her college in Chicago.
;________________;

So, not sure when I'll be posting them up, but hopefully it'll be sometime soon.




Trust me, I'm probably as anxious to get them up here as some of you are (well, hopefully).
>>

:EDIT:

Oh, and completely random, but Troy gave me another pair of earrings as a slightly early six month anniversary gift.
:33
They're 10 Karat gold with ruby hearts!
^^
They're really pretty; I love them. He's so good to me.
<33

:EDIT 2:

Thank you all so very much for 29,000 pageviews!

Holy butt, that's a lot!


]]> ~Rezny http://Rezny.deviantart.com/journal/22249608/ http://Rezny.deviantart.com/journal/22249608/ Sun, 28 Dec 2008 19:55:27 PST



So, this is something that I've been considering over the past few months and I figured I'd let my contemplations out for the deviantArt world to read.

Since I rather enjoy taking pictures of myself and am mildly interested in modeling and pin-up, I've been wondering what it'd be like to do an artistic nude/fetish shoot. If any of you have a problem with me doing this, I'm sorry; I certainly don't wish to mentally scar my friends, but this is something I've always kind of been curious about doing. The problem is that I don't have anyone to photograph me.

I finally approached a friend of mine about it and she said that she'd like to do a shoot like that with me sometime, so I'm happy.
=]]

With this, at least on my part anyway, I'm also mildly trying to prove a point, and that is you don't have to be 6'1" and 90 pounds in order to be beautiful and respected for who you are. It took me a long time to appreciate my body and who I am, and getting a boyfriend definitely gave me a little bit of a confidence boost.

So, this is what I've been kinda thinking. Again, if you all have a problem with seeing me naked, I'm sorry, but this is something I really want to do. If you don't like it, don't look, I guess.
:/

(I'm not quite sure how soon this will be happening, but it will happen sometime within the near future or so I hope.)

That is all for now.


]]> ~Rezny http://Rezny.deviantart.com/journal/22142704/ http://Rezny.deviantart.com/journal/22142704/ Tue, 23 Dec 2008 13:38:00 PST



Uber huge rant. If you don't care, don't read. It's just that simple. (It's all about my terrible fucking day yesterday...)

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

M'kay, before I get into everything, I'm going to back-track a little. A few days ago, my mom called and asked me if I would be interested in going to the Bloomington mall with her. She said a friend of hers at work had an audit up there and she was going to drive and drop my mom off there so she could shop and when her audit was over, she'd pick her up and take her back home. Even though I didn't have any money to spend, I figured it'd be a nice opportunity to get out of town for a little bit.

So, that day was yesterday. I don't think I've had such a miserable day in quite a while...

Everything was going just fine until we got to the mall. I was pretty much starving since we had left Springfield and my mom was just like "How come you didn't eat before you left?" and "Why don't you ask your boyfriend for some money?" Okay, first of all, I wasn't too hungry at the time and I didn't really think about it. Secondly, I am NOT going to ask my boyfriend for money. He's not my sugar daddy who just throws out money for me to blow every five seconds. It's also rude and inconsiderate (at least to me, anyway) to ask people (especially him) for money. And then she tried to be like "Oh, I see! You think it's rude and inconsiderate to ask him for money and yet you won't hesitate to ask me!" Um, okay. I didn't even ask you for money. (That really pissed her off, needless to say.) I started geeking out because there was a Panda Express at the mall and my mom was just like "Well, have fun with that." I reminded her for the fifty millionth time that I was broke, and then she started snapping at me for no reason! "What the fuck's the point in going shopping if you don't have any money!? Why didn't you just stay home today!?" Well, EXCUSE me! I thought that it would be a nice opportunity to get out and about since neither of us had been to the Bloomington mall in about six years and I'm sorry that you were the one who fucking offered for me to go in the first place. On top of everything, I really wasn't feeling that good because I was only going on four and a half hours of sleep and my sinuses were acting up again. I was completely done looking around at everything at 3:30 (we got there at about 2:00) and Katie (the lady who took us) didn't come to pick us up until about 6:00. I thought I was going to lose my mind (plus it didn't help that I heard "Frosty The Snowman" TWICE in only a ten minute time span... I can't wait until Christmas is over... -_-)

Just when I thought the worst was over, they just had to stop at Von Maur even though I was far from up for it... I seriously just wanted to go home and when Katie asked me what I wanted to do I basically said "Whatever you'd like to do. You're the one driving, not me. I don't really have a say-so." Therefore, we went to Von Maur. I hate being so nice sometimes.
:/

Finally we were on the road again and my mom wanted to stop at McDonald's so she could get some dollar menu stuff. Since I had said that I was starving (she even said "Oh, Kristen's been hungry for a while now" to Katie), I assumed she might get me just a little something. I'm not asking for anything out-of-this-world fancy! It's the fucking McDonald's Dollar Menu for crying-out-loud! Eventually she was just like "I'll get you something if you vacuum my house Christmas Eve." WTF!? No! I don't even want to vacuum my own house so what makes you think I want to vacuum yours when I don't even live there for a damn burger or something! So, we were waiting in line and I asked her if I should just sit down and she said "Yes". Pissed off, I finally was like "Is three dollars really that big of a deal?" and she fucking said "Yes"! Can you believe that!? This is supposed to be my MOTHER for God's sake. Obviously pissed, I stormed off and found a table and I called Troy and told him what was going on and he said the way she was treating me all day was absolute bullshit (which it was) and he said he'd have something hot and ready for me to eat when I got home. How lame is it to go into a McDonald's and not even get anything to eat?

So, my mom and Katie finally sat down and Katie ended up getting me a small fry and I told her that she didn't have to do that (which she did... ]]> ~Rezny http://Rezny.deviantart.com/journal/22050749/ http://Rezny.deviantart.com/journal/22050749/ Thu, 18 Dec 2008 14:28:05 PST



I just realized that I really need a new header and footer.
o_o;

Erm, anywho...
>>

First things first, my first ever hair coloring was a complete success!

For the color being "Intense Auburn" and my hair being as a slightly dark brown, I didn't think the color would be so "intense", you know? Holy crap, my hair is red. It's awesome!
X3
(Granted, it's not fire engine red, but it's pretty damn auburn, that's for sure. I think it turned out amazingly; I'm extremely happy with it, and so is Troy! )

And, most importantly, we finally got our Turdie yesterday!
^____^*
We went to Petsmart and looked for the guinea pigs (they weren't under quarantine this time) and we vowed that we want one with a "foof" on the top of it's head (kinda looks like permanent bedhead or something, but you know, just this little puff of hair on top). While we were looking, we spotted the only guinea pig in the cage with a foof and we knew it was for us, so we got it.
^^
(Neither of us knew it was a female until we rung everything up at the register, so it's Miss Turdie to you! )

Yeah, we easily spent $190 at the pet store yesterday.

All worth it though since this was technically our Christmas gift (like, for me and for him). Don't worry, we both split the cost at the register so it would be fair.
=]

On the way home, she was extremely quiet and when we brought her in the house and started assembling the cage (which is pretty nice, I might add), she fell asleep in her box. It was so cute!
^-^

Yesterday and today she's mainly just been huddled in one corner of her cage, occasionally munching on some hay but hasn't made a sound or anything. (I'm sure she will over time though.) She's still a little skittish if you approach her and you definitely can't raise your voice too high around her, but I'm sure she'll adjust after a week or so. She is definitely a good girl, though. She's very calm about being held and likes to explore and then hide under her cage for safety I suppose.

Troy said something last night that I found very sweet/cute: "Wow, she's so quiet, she hasn't squeaked yet or anything. I'm sure she'll warm up to us eventually. I can't see how she couldn't love you."

^ I just had a permanent smile on my face after hearing that.
=]]

And when he was holding her and passed her to me, he was just like "Come on, let's go see Momma". I just found that rather cute and interesting in a way.

Troy absolutely adores her, which I find very sweet.
:3
Don't get me wrong, I really like her too, but I think she's definitely a "Daddy's girl", ha ha.


If I ever get a damn camera handy, I promise I will upload pictures of my new hair color and of course of Turdie.

Even after going to the pet store, doing some hardcore grocery shopping (we were seriously out of everything), and paying my bills, I still have $143 left which I'm mostly going to devote to Christmas. I mean, I was hoping I'd have a little money left over, but I wasn't quite expecting that much, which is cool.
^^
The only two people I have taken care of for Christmas is Troy's mom and Mollie. We both got Mollie some Oogie Boogie slippers she was wanting since she contributed $20 toward guinea pig expenses as her gift to us. I still have my mom, my grandma, and Troy to shop for. Now, I know that the guinea pig is "our" Christmas gift, but I told him I was probably going to buy him a little something anyway and he gave me the exact same answer.
:33

Oh, and he had me watch Akira with him for the first time last night. That was a fucked up movie.
o_o
I'm still not quite sure what to think of it...
>___>
~Rezny http://Rezny.deviantart.com/journal/22018022/ http://Rezny.deviantart.com/journal/22018022/ Tue, 16 Dec 2008 15:30:56 PST



Oh my goodness, last night was so amazing.
8D
Troy actually suggested that him, his brother, myself, and Mollie should go see Bolt since Mollie and I wanted to see that really badly and plus she really likes his brother so it'd be kind of a double-date sort of a thing, you know? (Keep in mind Mollie had just gotten out of an almost three year relationship but she really needed it; Craig treated her like crap and only wanted her for sex and money, which is a damn shame because she deserves sooo much more than that.) Anyway, holy crap, Bolt was AWESOME!!
^___^
The previews looked amazing and the movie was amazing! It was friggin' sweet!
X33
I really liked Rhino (the hamster). He made me giggle.
:3

So, I guess Mollie and Chad (his brother) are technically together now, which is really cute. Troy and I are both happy to see them really happy. (Chad himself had just previously gotten out of a relationship as well.)

Troy and I were kinda talking last night and he told me that he found it amazing that we've been together almost six months now and how we haven't had an argument yet or anything. He also said that he doesn't want to be with anybody else but me and he wants to be with me forever and ever and ever.
^_____________^!!
I thought that was the cutest damn thing in the world.
=]]


Tomorrow should be a very exciting day for us as well.

I'm going over to Mollie's tomorrow and for the first time EVER, I'm going to get my hair dyed.
^^
(I wasn't allowed to at my mom's because she's weird and it's pretty stupid why I couldn't considering she dyes her hair ALL THE TIME. 9_9)
So, I was going for a more auburn color since my mom's told me that I look really good in red and I thought it would be more suiting since I have blue eyes. (I was originally going to go with a purple, but I figured that wouldn't look as good as auburn.) Granted, I don't want it fire engine red, but still a little red, you know? Troy's so excited about it, it's really cute.
X33
He said he loves my hair just the way it is, and yet he wouldn't mind a slight change for once. (He did pretty much nothing but play with it and stroke it last night which I thought was pretty neato. =]])

And since I got paid today (although I won't be able to pick up my check until tomorrow), Troy, Mollie, and I are going out to Petsmart tomorrow so we can finally get our guinea pig!!
^-^
Mollie wanted to get us something for Christmas, so I told her that if she got us the cage (we found a really nice one that came with food, bedding, water dishes, etc., for only $35) then we'd get the guinea pig. We're finally getting our very own Turdie!
8DDD
We're so geeked, especially him which I find uber adorable.
:33

And then Friday I'm going Christmas shopping with my mom since that's when she gets paid, so that should be a fun day. I'm hoping that my paycheck will be decent since I'm devoting most of it to Christmas...

Anywho, in short, these past few days have been incredible and I absolutely cannot wait until tomorrow!

(If'n I ever do get a camera handy, I'll have to upload pictures of my new hair color and our Turdie! )

]]> ~Rezny http://Rezny.deviantart.com/journal/21974514/ http://Rezny.deviantart.com/journal/21974514/ Sun, 14 Dec 2008 04:46:43 PST



Thank you all so much for 28,000 pageviews! It's hard to believe that I have that many.


]]> ~Rezny http://Rezny.deviantart.com/journal/21819618/ http://Rezny.deviantart.com/journal/21819618/ Thu, 04 Dec 2008 17:11:55 PST



Yes, I'm still alive. I haven't had any inspiration to post anything up nor do I really have a way of doing such until I get my tablet for Christmas and my mom has the digital camera, thus my options of putting up art are slim unless it's work on Paint or something.

Work is...work. I've finally caught on in the bakery and I'm fully comfortable and confident in everything. It's very different and I don't know if I like it persay, but it is interesting, I guess. It's nice being your own boss and doing your own thing. I'm appreciative that Rita trained me and is there to help me in case we get busy, but in short she's just an old, crabby bitch and I don't like working with her unless I absolutely have to. I'd rather work by myself than work with her. The new girl that was training with me didn't even last two nights. She didn't have transportation to work and she lives out of town, therefore, bye-bye.

Nothing too exciting has been going on in my life. Just...working. Surviving.

My five month with Troy was on the 2nd, so that was pretty nice. Got him a card and some gifts and we had a pretty good day in general with each other.
=]]


We're finally getting a guinea pig when we get paid next (which I believe is the 16th or something). It's technically a Christmas present for us. He knows how terribly bad I want a cat, but he's deathly allergic, therefore we're resorting to a guinea pig. But, its name will be Turdie and it will be the best guinea pig in the land, complete with a walking harness with a little leash and everything.
8D
We're excited.
X3~

So yeah. In short, sorry for the lack of art/inspiration and sorry I haven't been talking as much as I used to. I spend most of my time sleeping to prepare for my overnight shift more than anything and if I get a day off I spend my time with him since that's when we really get to see each other now...

Yeah.
o_o

:EDIT:

Oh, and Carol approached me one morning when I was getting ready to leave. I think it's finally clicked in her brain that she lost a really good worker (which is kind of what I was going for). Oh well, her loss.

]]> ~Rezny http://Rezny.deviantart.com/journal/21475483/ http://Rezny.deviantart.com/journal/21475483/ Thu, 13 Nov 2008 19:16:33 PST


My last day in the deli was on Tuesday and let me tell you, it was terrible. It wasn't so much the fact that we were busy and for once we had plenty of people scheduled on the floor (keep in mind Carol had me working behind the counter dealing with customers my last two days), but I was getting so sick and tired of doing everything while everyone else just stood around and talked. I filled up the meat case, helped customers, and did all of the work that needed to be done, and I just got so frustrated/angry/stressed that I cried as soon as I got home. That's not how work should be. But, nonetheless, I never have to deal with that bullshit again and all I can do is hope that the fucking deli burns down and maybe takes the rest of County Market with it.

However, my first night in the bakery was last night. It's quite different from the deli and there is A LOT to learn. It's going to take me a while to figure out the differences between all of the bread, what happens to what kind, how long each kind bake, what kind of slices go in them, how long they're supposed to proof, etc., but I'm pretty confident nonetheless. Rita, who is the lady training me is really nice. I wasn't quite sure what to think of her when I occasionally saw her when I was in the deli, but she's a pretty nice old lady. And the new girl who is training with me (her name is Melinda) is SUPER nice and we have a lot in common which is really cool.
=]]
There's a lot to do and plenty to keep you busy, although that's what I like since it helps make the time go by a little faster. It's a tad strange leaving as soon as the sun's coming up and my sleep schedule's going to take a little time to get all figured out, but I'm confident.
^_^

]]> ~Rezny http://Rezny.deviantart.com/journal/21373451/ http://Rezny.deviantart.com/journal/21373451/ Fri, 07 Nov 2008 13:55:42 PST



I want to apologize if none of you care about my problems at my work, but I have to vent somehow.
:/

Someone's head is about ready to go on a fucking silver platter, I'm not even kidding.
>_________<
Everything was going just fine at work today, I was having a pretty laid back day, until after my shift. Carol pulled me to the side and wanting to have a word with me. Fine, whatever. First off, she had this really snotty attitude with me and was just like "You need to make sure that you work out in bakery because I can't take you back to the deli if you don't." Okay bitch, I will work out in bakery and I absolutely fucking refuse to go back to the deli anyway. Then she told me that I guess someone anonymously wrote a letter to fucking corporate of all things saying how Troy and I make out in the cooler all the time. BULL-FUCKING-SHIT. We rarely get to see each other at work since we aren't on the same shift and even if we are stuck together in the cooler briefly, he'll look around to make sure no one's there and he'll give me a quick kiss, but it is by no means a slobbery, full-on make out session!
DD<
This is such fucking shit. The one thing that makes me happy in my life, someone's desperately trying to take away from me. I fucking hate all of this high school drama bullshit, at work of all places! I'm so fucking sick of it. I swear to God, if I find out who's doing all of this, I'm going to fucking rip their spine out and shove it up their ass 'til it comes out of their mouth. I'm not kidding.

I guess the good news of today is that Wednesday I officially start in the bakery and I leave all of the deli bullshit drama behind. I keep telling myself I only have tomorrow, Monday, and Tuesday left, but dear Lord it's so hard believe it or not.
x_x

Marje is really excited/happy nonetheless to have me in her department and if nothing else, she wants to prove Carol wrong and show her that I am productive and I am an awesome worker. I'm so glad she's actually willing to stick up to Carol instead of kissing her ass like so many people there do.

My mom tells me that she thinks Carol's just trying to start shit with me because she knows that I am a good worker and she doesn't want to see me leave. That doesn't make it right, but my mom thinks that's exactly what she's doing.

Fuck her and the deli, I'm more than ready to get the hell outta there.

County Market

]]> ~Rezny http://Rezny.deviantart.com/journal/21341232/ http://Rezny.deviantart.com/journal/21341232/ Thu, 06 Nov 2008 14:43:10 PST



First of all, I would like to say that I'm extremely geeked that Obama won. And he won by a fucking landslide, which is amazing.
8D


Secondly, as soon as I walked into work this morning, Marje approached me and pretty much said that she talked to Carol and Carol doesn't want me going to the bakery. We're firing someone in our department, and I guess she doesn't want to lose anymore people since the holidays are vastly approaching. However, case and point being, I was fucking PISSED. And Carol had the fucking nerve to tell Marje how she shouldn't want me in bakery because my productivity is too slow (which is fucking bullshit). Marje spoke up to her and said that the bakery wasn't about speed anyway, but she'd teach me tactics on how to work faster if that really was such an issue. Troy was telling me that she probably didn't want me going over there either since I would be getting a raise there yet if I stay in the deli I'll still be making minimum wage, so FUCK THAT.

Needless to say, I was extremely pissed off this morning. Marje could tell that I was really upset about it, so she decided to approach Carol once more, and she finally said that if it really meant that much to me and if I really wanted to bake, she'd let me go to bakery. So, I work up front in the deli (which really sucks because I hate working up front [stupid customers Dx]) on Monday and Tuesday, and then I'd start training in the bakery. Finally, things are looking to be in my favor for a change. I'm really excited about this, I really am.
=]]
The only thing is I guess if for some ungodly reason that I don't work out in the bakery, I have to go back to the deli, though I'd be looking for a different job before that would even be considered to happen.

So, fuck the deli and it's drama and my psychopathic boss. I'm ready to leave all of that bullshit behind and work under an awesome supervisor in a neato department.

:EDIT:

Thank you all so very much for 27,000 pageviews!



]]> ~Rezny http://Rezny.deviantart.com/journal/21317979/ http://Rezny.deviantart.com/journal/21317979/ Tue, 04 Nov 2008 13:03:34 PST



First off, dear sweet Lord am I sick.
D:
My day off yesterday was just horrible. I seriously did nothing but lay in bed ALL DAY. I slept until 2:30 in the afternoon and I didn't get up until about five in the afternoon. I was only up for about a half an hour before I went to lay back down again.
;_;
I've been showing symptoms of the flu. My head feels cloudy, my neck, shoulders, and back hurt, I get dizzy spells, and I constantly keep going back and forth from being very feverish to having the chills. I feel only a tad better than I did yesterday, which is good, I suppose. I'm going to make an effort to go into work tomorrow; I had to stay home today since I pretty much did nothing but cry since I don't feel good.
:/

Anyway, I was so geeked about being able to vote for the first time today, yet since I haven't verified my change of address, I'm not allowed to vote.
><
Stupid poll people...
T_T

I swear to God, if Obama does not win this election, I'm moving to Canada. John Kerry didn't win the '04 election, which really pissed me off because he had great potential. People gave him a lot more shit than he really deserved. Yeah, he was wishy-washy, but, fuck, so am I! I really supported Kerry because he was for abortion, gay marriage, and, best of all, he had a fucking brain in his head and knew how to use it. If McCain wins, we're all doomed. Seriously. It's just going to be drama Bush bullshit all over again. And, if worst comes to worst, should he get elected and die in office (you gotta admit, he is kinda old), I do NOT want that fucking Palin bitch running our country.

I love Obama, I really do. Ever since I saw him give a speech on television when I was a sophomore in high school, I have fully supported/admired him. He's very intelligent, he's more than ready for a change, and he knows what the American people want. In short, Obama is awesome. I really hope he wins, I really do.

So, anyway, that's enough of me ranting for one day.


]]> ~Rezny http://Rezny.deviantart.com/journal/21285124/ http://Rezny.deviantart.com/journal/21285124/ Sun, 02 Nov 2008 14:20:32 PST



I got approached today by Marje, who is the manager in the bakery department (the place where I'd preferably want to transfer to). She said more than anything she was looking for an overnight baker (meaning I'd be working from ten at night to six in the morning). Now, that doesn't sound like that great of a shift, but I don't go to school, I get to sleep in with my baby until he has to go to work, I won't bitch if he has company over 'cause I'll be at work so I won't have to deal with them, and I'll technically have the whole day to myself so I'm basically having every day off in a way, you know? I'm all for it and I'm fucking geeked.
^_____^!!
And, I'd still be keeping my hours (and I might be getting even more, which would be fucking awesome) and I'll be getting paid an extra forty cents for working the overnight shift since nobody wants it. (Forty cents may not seem like much, but being nineteen years old and having almost $500 to pay in bills every month, shit, every little bit helps.) Still haven't gotten my raise for being there over a year yet though, so I really need to talk to someone about that... And Marje said I'd definitely be getting trained and I'd end up working by myself, you know, going at my own pace and everything, which is awesome. I LOVE working independently and just doing my own thing. And I can't imagine I'd have to deal with any customers since it's late, so I'm all for it. I'm really, really excited about this.

The only thing left is that Marje has to approach Carol and let her know about the situation. It's not like she can say no. However, the only thing I'm truly hoping for when I transfer departments is that I really hope Carol will realize just how good of a worker she lost. Marje even talked to Jim, our store manager about it, and he's total cool with the whole thing, and he doesn't want me to have to quit.

I'm so excited.
X333
Now all I have to do is just hear back from Marje. I'll definitely try to keep you all updated.
=]]

And, the other good news is that today is my four month anniversary with my baby.
<333

I seriously could not be happier right now. I feel fucking great.


]]> ~Rezny http://Rezny.deviantart.com/journal/21170724/ http://Rezny.deviantart.com/journal/21170724/ Sun, 26 Oct 2008 12:06:41 PDT



We all had a really good time yesterday.
=]]

We were originally going to get up at about eight, but we got up about an hour early since Troy wanted us to run to Shop N' Save that morning rather than the night before, and we had to head out to Morrisonville where his mom lives since she has the GPS system and none of us knew how to successfully get there without it. We made really good timing, though. We ended up getting there about a half an hour before the park opened at eleven, which is what we wanted.

We tried to ride as many rides as we could, which was a little difficult to do since there were a lot more people there than we had originally expected. I absolutely adore the new Evel Knievel roller coaster. Although it's wooden, since it's brand new it was a really smooth ride, and we all just had a blast. =] (We had to ride it twice, and it was cool riding it the second time at night. <3)

Although The Boss gave me severe whiplash the last time I went on it, I pretty much said "To hell with it" and went on it again. Omg. ;____; I am still in so much pain from that damn thing and it didn't help that while it was going my leg slammed against the little lap bar thing and now I have a gigantic bruise on my thigh from it. DDD:

Troy said I was the queen of roller coaster faces, ha ha. 'Cause my mouth and eyes are huge and I look like I'm having a blast. (They take your picture on some of the rides there.)

And we got our caricatures done there since I wanted to get them done.
:3
They turned out weird (though I guess they're supposed to). He looks like an alien and I have a fat head with beady eyes.
:/
We still kinda like it, though.


He was such a sweetheart the entire time. We just held hands and kissed and kinda snuggled and stuff the entire time we were there. It was nice. ^^ I told him that he treated me like a princess and he told me "That's because you are one." 'Dawww. :33

And although it was "Fright Fest" it wasn't very Fright Fest-ish.
o_o
We didn't see any people dressed up to pop out and scare you or nothing. It was just...really, really cold out.
D:
It took me forever and a half to get warmed up after we left...
;___;

Overall, we had a really good time despite the fact that when I got up today my back feels like it's going to fall out...
>___>
I'm still really sore from all of that walking around and everything, but what can you expect? We were there for nine hours after all...

]]> ~Rezny http://Rezny.deviantart.com/journal/21142702/ http://Rezny.deviantart.com/journal/21142702/ Fri, 24 Oct 2008 15:43:35 PDT



I will not be online to reply to comments/messages/anything until Sunday afternoon. The reasoning for this is because Troy, myself, Mollie, and Craig (her boyfriend) leave for Six Flags in St. Louis tomorrow for Fright Fest.
8D
We've been looking forward to it for months now and the time has finally arrived.


So, yeah, just thought I'd let you all know in case you don't hear from me.


*uber geeked about tomorrow*
X3~

]]> ~Rezny http://Rezny.deviantart.com/journal/21032705/ http://Rezny.deviantart.com/journal/21032705/ Sat, 18 Oct 2008 14:24:21 PDT



It's official. I had the worst day of work today, period.

I got called up to Carol's office (my boss) today and she pretty much sat me down and told me...well, lemme type what she wrote:

Reason for corrective action: Volume of work.

Explanation of circumstances: Kristen's production level is creating more work for her co-workers and causing our department stock levels to suffer.

Action taken: Warning.

If her productivity in prep does not improve dramatically I will have to transfer to a bagger or cashier.

Are you fucking kidding me!? I don't come home sore and exhausted every day for nothing! I bust my fucking ass at work! And that's total bullshit what she put about "stocks suffering" and "more work for her co-workers". It's not true! There have been plenty of days where although I was the last person to leave, I got to leave early because all of my work was finished. And she had the nerve to be all "Oh, well you have a nice personality, you show up to work every day and on time, you have a good work ethic, etc." and then she has to say this bullshit about me? And the last thing I want to be there is a cashier or a bagger! Talk about being demoted! I don't know what I did to deserve this, I really don't! I work, very hard and very diligently at that! Trust me, I've asked around and even Dennis, our kitchen manager, says I'm one of the hardest working people there in the deli!

However, there's even a darker side to this...

Of all things, and I don't know how, Carol found out about my relationship with Troy. I know you can't keep that sort of a thing a secret forever, but we keep our relationship as professional as humanly possible when we are at work. Hell, we hardly say two words to each other when we're there! And to make things worse, Carol said she can't have me work up front in the deli since Troy has a manager position now and I'm not allowed to work under him; so much for that option!

So, I called my mom after work in tears (hell, I cried there too) and told her everything, and she thinks that in her honest opinion, they're just out to get me because I'm dating/living with Troy and the company wants to cover their ass, therefore I'd be the first to go over him. She says that if I know in my heart I'm a very productive, hard worker, then that's not the reason for it. Someone there hates my guts for whatever reason and is out for blood and does not want me there at all.

In a horrible way, even though I do my job and very well at that (hell, I haven't been there for a little over a year for nothing), I can't help but get the sickening feeling that my time is limited there, which is such fucking shit!! What the fuck did I do to anyone, seriously? I mean, if this is the case, God forbid that Carol finds out that her assistant manager is dating someone in the deli and that the kitchen manager who I've mentioned earlier is fooling around with somebody there, too!

This is just so fucking stupid/unfair.

In a very ironic way, earlier today I was actually pondering about what it'd be like to work in the bakery...

So, I'm not going to put my ass into gear any harder than I already am, because what do I have to prove? I do my work. The end. And yeah, stock levels might have gone down a little in the past few days, but you know what? One of those days I was the ONLY person back there, and even then I got so much shit done, and yet there's only so much one person can do.

I'm going to ask the bakery if they're looking for anybody, and if not, I'm going to look for a new job because this is bullshit. I don't deserve this, I really don't. And it's fucking gay as shit that the company is so against relationships at the work place. Our assistant manager before Mike didn't even know that Troy and I were going out! This is so unfair! I'm being punished for absolutely no reason! None whatsoever! And I know that Carol's on a roll because one of our dishwashers just got fired today...

Jesus Christ, I can't wait until she goes on vacation Sunday...

:EDIT:

Oh, and thanks for 26,000 pageviews.
<3

]]> ~Rezny http://Rezny.deviantart.com/journal/20939284/ http://Rezny.deviantart.com/journal/20939284/ Sat, 11 Oct 2008 15:18:25 PDT



Stolen from . I am also insanely bored, so sue me.
:/

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
001. Name → Kristen.

002. Nickname(s) → Rezny, Kitty, Cutie Muffin... :3

003. Status → Happily taken. =]

004. Zodiac sign → Pisces. <3

005. Male or female → Female.

006. Elementary - Dubois Elementary School.

007. Middle School - Grant Middle School.

008. High School → Springfield High School.

009. Smart → I think I'm pretty smart. ^_^

010. Hair colour → Brown.

011. Long or short → Long. <3

012. Loud or Quiet → Very quiet.

013. Sweats or Jeans → Jeans.

014. Phone or Camera → Well, shit. I've gotta have my phone since it's my only real source of communication and I love my mom's digital camera, so I dunno. The quality is obviously better on the digital camera if that's what we're compairing here, but I have to have my phone. I've just gotta.

015. Health freak? - Ha! Please...

016. Drink or Smoke? → Nope. It's sad how people are so shocked that I don't do anything like that. What is the world coming to? T_T

017. Do you have a crush on someone? → Nope, I'm in love. :3

018. Eating or Drinking → I just got done having a hot fudge sundae at McDonald's. But, again, if we're compairing as to which we prefer, I might say drinking simply because I drink a hell of a lot more than I eat. (Eating's nice too, though. )

019. Piercings → I have six total, three in each ear.

020. Tattoos - I don't have it yet, although I will someday. (I want Walter Sullivan's number(s) [11121] tattooed either on my right side or on the right side of my back kinda close to my side.)

FIRSTS:
023. First piercing → I got my ears pierced when I was about eleven, I believe.

024. First best friend → Mollie. I've known her since the first grade and I've been friends with her ever since. Granted, we've had our ups and downs, but we're always there for each other no matter what. <3

025. First award - I dunno. o_o;

026. First crush → I want to say Tom Cruise when I was eleven or twelve, the time Mission Impossible II was out. But, my mom says I liked Wayne from Wayne's World, Davion from Sesame Street, and MC Hammer when I was, like, two. XDDD

027. First pet → I guess technically Bellamy.

028. First big vacation → "Big"? I dunno, I guess when my mom and I went to Orlando, Florida when I was a sophomore. Man, I'd love to go back someday. 8D

030. First big birthday → Pssh. I don't think I've ever had a big birthday.

CURRENTLY:
049. Eating → Nothing.

050. Drinking - Diet Vanilla Pepsi. Alas, my mother only has diet soda in the house. :/

052. I'm about to- Just screw around on the computer, maybe take a nap, and wait for Troy to call me when he gets off of work.

053. Listening to → Hostel 2 in the living room.

FUTURE:
054. Plans for today → I'm spending the night again at my mom's tonight and hopefully I'll see him later when he gets off of work, and yeah, that's pretty much it. o.o

058. Want kids? → At first, I was so strongly against it, but he's slowly starting to change my mind. Yet, I'm still undecided. (If we ever do have kids, they'll fail so horribly at life... XD)

059. Want to get married? → Someday. :3 Well, getting married would be ideal, I should say, every girl's dream, you know? And yet, I also wouldn't mind commitment without marraige.

060. Careers in mind → A writer/author and who knows, maybe something in meteorology. o_o

WHICH IS BETTER WITH GIRL/BOY?
068. Lips or eyes → Eyes.

070. Shorter or taller? → Taller.

072. Romantic or spontaneous → Romantic. <3 I'm a sucker for romance. http://Rezny.deviantart.com/journal/20778352/ Thu, 02 Oct 2008 13:35:17 PDT


<3

Thank you all so very, very much for 25,000 pageviews!



Much appreciated as always and thank you all so much for your support!!


:EDIT:
And today's my three month anniversary with my Troy-Boy.
:333


]]> ~Rezny http://Rezny.deviantart.com/journal/20636203/ http://Rezny.deviantart.com/journal/20636203/ Tue, 23 Sep 2008 13:48:46 PDT



[Personal Survey Meme]

Info
[x] I am shorter than 5'4. (By one inch. :/)
[x] I think I'm ugly sometimes.
[ ] I have many scars.
[ ] I tan easily.
[ ] I wish my hair was a different color.
[ ] I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color.
[ ] I have a tattoo.
[x] I am self-conscious about my appearance.
[x]I have/I've had braces.
[x] I wear glasses.
[ ] I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free.
[x] I've been told I'm attractive by a complete stranger.
[x] I have more than 2 piercing.
[ ] I have piercing in places besides my ears.
[ ] I have freckles.

Family/Home Life
[ ] I've sworn at my parents.
[ ] I've run away from home.
[x] I've been kicked out of the house.
[ ] My biological parents are together.
[ ] I have a sibling less than one year old.
[/] I want to have kids someday. (Eh, maybe... I dunno. o_o)
[ ] I've had children.
[ ] I've lost a child.

School/Work
[ ] I'm in school
[x] I have a job
[ ] I've fallen asleep at work/school
[x] I almost always do my homework.
[x] I've missed a week or more of school.
[ ] I've been on the Honor Roll within the last 2 years
[ ] I failed more than 1 class last year
[ ] I've stolen something from my job
[ ] I've been fired

Embarrassment
[x] I've slipped out an "lol" in a spoken conversation.
[xxx] Disney movies still make me cry.
[ ] I've peed from laughing.
[x] I've snorted while laughing.
[x] I've laughed so hard I've cried.
[ ] I've glued my hand to something.
[ ] I've had my pants rip in public.

Health
[ ] I was born with a disease/impairment
[ ] I've gotten stitches/staples
[ ] I've broken a bone
[ ] I've had my tonsils removed.
[ ] I've sat in a doctor’s office/emergency room with a friend.
[ ] I've had my wisdom teeth removed.
[ ] I had a serious surgery.
[x] I've had chicken pox.

Traveling
[ ] I've driven over 200 miles in one day.
[x] I've been on a plane.
[ ] I've been to Canada.
[ ] I've been to Mexico.
[ ] I've been to Niagara Falls.
[ ] I've been to Japan.
[ ] I've celebrated Mardi Gras in New Orleans.
[ ] I've been to Europe.
[ ] I've been to Africa.


Experiences
[x] I've gotten lost in my city.
[ ] I've seen a shooting star.
[ ] I've wished on a shooting star
[ ] I've seen a meteor shower.
[ ] I've gone out in public in my pajamas.
[ ] I've pushed all the buttons on an elevator.
[x] I've kicked a guy where it hurts.
[ ] I've been to a casino.
[ ] I've been skydiving.
[ ] I've gone skinny dipping.
[ ] I've played spin the bottle.
[ ] I've drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour.
[ ] I've crashed a car.
[ ] I've been Skiing.
[x] I've been in a play. (In school plays in grade school, though everybody in the class had to be in those...)
[ ] I've met someone in person from myspace.
[x] I've caught a snowflake on my tongue.
[ ] I've seen the Northern lights.
[ ] I've sat on a roof top at night.
[ ] I've played chicken.
[x] I've played a prank on someone.
[x] I've ridden in a taxi.
[ ] I've seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
[ ] I've eaten sushi.
[ ] I've been snowboarding.

Relationships
[ ] I'm single.
[x] I'm in a relationship.
[ ] I'm engaged.
[ ] I'm married.
[ ] I've gone on a blind date.
[ ] I've been the dumped more than the dumper.
[x] I miss someone right now.
[ ] I have a fear of abandonment.
[ ] I've gotten divorced.
[x] I've had feelings for someone who didn't have them back.
[ ] I've told someone I loved them when I didn't.
[ ] I've told someone I didn't love them when I did.
[ ] I've kept something from a past relationship.

Sexuality
[x] I've had a crush on someone of the same sex.
[x] I've had a crush on a teacher.
[xxx] I am a cuddler.
[ ] I've been kissed in the rain.
[ ] I've hugged a stranger.
[ ] I have kissed a stranger.

Honesty/Crime
[x] I've done something I promised someone else I wouldn't.
[x] I've done something I promised myself I wouldn't.
[ ] I've snuck out of my house.
[x] I have lied to my parents about where I am.
[ ] I am keeping a secret from the world.
[x] I've cheated while playing a game.
[x] I've cheated on a... ]]> ~Rezny http://Rezny.deviantart.com/journal/20405427/ http://Rezny.deviantart.com/journal/20405427/ Tue, 09 Sep 2008 11:33:09 PDT



Thank you all so very, very much for 24,000 pageviews! I appreciate your support and love as always. =]] Again, thank you so much!

]]> ~Rezny http://Rezny.deviantart.com/journal/20325080/ http://Rezny.deviantart.com/journal/20325080/ Thu, 04 Sep 2008 14:15:10 PDT



Eh... I've had a lot of shit on my mind lately (and most of it is work-related T_T).

So, I guess I'll make a list of good and bad things going on in my life. (Sorry, but I have to share these with somebody, including my dA buddies and otherwise.)

GOOD:

* Troy and I celebrated our two month anniversary on Tuesday. ^_^!

* His mother took him grocery shopping yesterday and we now have $130 worth of groceries in the house. 8D (We were getting really slim on things to eat, too... o_o)

* I'm hopefully getting my 15 cent raise this month. (I'll have been at County Market for a whole year. o_O) I don't care if it's only 15 cents, I need all the money I can get... >>

* Mollie and I are talking again. I pretty much told her that if she would apologize for what she's done, then I'd talk to her. She did, therefore we're talking.

* I can start taking my birth control on Sunday since my period came today. (Don't care if that was TMI, so hush. Dx)

BAD:

* My mother's been having a lot of health problems. She had to have surgery to remove pre-cancerous cells from her cervix last Thursday. Now I guess she has insomnia and will be treated to see if she has sleep apnea.

* My grandma was in the hospital all last week. She had gotten bitten by her cat (keep in mind that the cat doesn't have rabies or anything) and the wound had gotten so bad that she had to have surgery to get the infection out of her arm. And, I guess the infection had spread to her bone marrow in her index finger and she might have to get it amputated. :/ Yes, this is all because of a cat bite. Weird, eh? From this experience I have learned to take cat bites very, very seriously. I guess they have really bad bacteria in their mouths and if they bite you and break the skin, it could have severe consequences. o__o;

* I got stuck working up front for the past two days in a row and I HATE working up front. >___< Customers suck. D:

* I'm absolutely dreading work tomorrow because myself and Tera were scheduled for Prep. Well, while Tera was up front working today, she was filling up the meat case and pretty much cut the tip of her finger off on the slicer. So, she had to be rushed to the hospital and I had to go up front to take her spot for the rest of my shift 'cause we were short-handed up there, but what else is new? So, with Tera not being able to come in tomorrow, that just leaves me all by myself to do Prep and I can't do that all on my own! Pray for me, because I'm probably going to be stressed out as all hell tomorrow. T_____T

* OH NOES, A TMI MOMENT~! Since my period came today, I've been having really bad cramps all freaking day, so that hasn't helped my mood any. And it's weird, 'cause I usually never cramp and if I do, it's only for about two minutes but it's been really bad today. ;_; And I guess on top of everything, my mom told me that sex causes cramps. D:

* It won't stop raining. :/

]]> ~Rezny http://Rezny.deviantart.com/journal/20232194/ http://Rezny.deviantart.com/journal/20232194/ Sat, 30 Aug 2008 08:27:08 PDT



:: THE FIVE THINGS ::

5 things found in my bag:

A bag as in a purse? Well, uh...

- My Texas Chainsaw Massacre wallet. 8D
- My retainer case. :/
- Random receipts.
- Loose change.
- My sunglasses case.


5 things found in my wallet:

- My state I.D.
- My debit card.
- My credit card.
- My health insurance card.
- My Spencer's Underground card.

5 favourite things in my room:

Well, I'm currently living with my boyfriend therefore I'm sharing his room, though I guess I could mention my actual room at my mom's even if I'm not currently residing in it...

- My 6.5 foot Jason Voorhees animatronic. X333
- My Nine Inch Nails poster.
- The PS2.
- My bed.
- My nifty, never-ending T-shirt collection.

5 things I always wanted to do:

- Go bungee jumping. ^-^
- Go back to Orlando, Florida. <3
- See Nine Inch Nails in concert.
- Get a tattoo.
- I can't think of a fifth answer. D:

5 things I'm currently into:

- Re-stumbling upon my love of Digimon. 8DDD (First season FTW! )
- Re-stumbling upon my love of happy 90's techno. X3
- The Silent Hill games.
- The Guitar Hero games.
- Rock Band.

List out the top 5 presents you wish for:

- A digital camera.
- This one happy shirt at Spencer's: [link]
- I know I'm getting a tablet for Christmas, I just can't wait to get it. >D
- Money is always nice.
- Uh, that's pretty much it. o_o;

The person who tagged you is:

Your 5 impressions of him/her:

- She's awesome. <3
- We both have a never-ending love of MK slash, therefore we love each other. XD
- She's cool as hell.
- She's my Finnish lover, ha ha.
- Uh, did I mention she's awesome?

The 5 people you tag are:

lol, tagging's lame.
8B

]]> ~Rezny http://Rezny.deviantart.com/journal/19961251/ http://Rezny.deviantart.com/journal/19961251/ Wed, 20 Aug 2008 16:30:17 PDT



Today was a rather busy yet very eventful day. Conveniently, Troy and I both had the day off of work today and we woke up at about eleven because we're lazy...
XD
Anywho, he had to get his car fixed because the "check engine" light kept coming on and he didn't know why. (I don't remember what was wrong with it, but it got fixed and that's all that mattered.) So, while his car was getting fixed, we went over to Meijer and got groceries and I pretty much told him that if I bought them then I was wondering if he would pay for my admission and everything for the fair ('cause we were wanting to go to the fair while it was still open). He of course agreed and then after the car got fixed, we dropped off the groceries, went down to Holly's to get some of my stuff moved in, and then we went to Ace Hardware so I could get keys made. Afterwards, we went to the fair and spent a good three hours there. Man, we had a blast and I guess it could be considered as our second date.
=]]
We rode a few rides and porked out on food and it wasn't too hot out for a change, so we had a very, very nice time.
^_^

Anyway, the bottom line is that I'm all moved in here and life is good. Very good, actually.
^^

So, yeah. Just thought I'd let you all know.


:EDIT:

Also, this really made my day today, but Jason got fired. I was literally dancing around the house when Troy called and told me. I guess he did a no call, no show and that was the last straw so Troy filled out the paperwork and that was that.


:EDIT 2:



^

I know that this already has a lot of s and views, but please go visit this deviation. I absolutely LOVE this picture; I think it is the epitemy (sp) of sexy.

:EDIT 3:

Wow, too many edits. x.x;; Anyway, thank you all so very much for 23,000 pageviews!

That was insanely fast.
O__o

]]> ~Rezny http://Rezny.deviantart.com/journal/19901065/ http://Rezny.deviantart.com/journal/19901065/ Tue, 12 Aug 2008 13:16:19 PDT



I apologize in advance for any spelling/grammar errors, by the way. I'm tired.
x_x

So, I figured it was about time to give you all an update about what's going on in my life. I've only talked to my mom maybe once or twice since I've been out of the house, and she still seems pretty happy that I'm gone. I wasn't able to celebrate my grandma's birthday with her this year because of my mom. (Her birthday was on the 6th of this month...) Traditionally, my mom takes my grandmother out for a birthday dinner with the restaurant of her choosing and my mom kept asking me to see if I could make it. Well, I really didn't want to have to deal with my mom all the way to Decatur and back, but at the same time, fuck her. I'm there for my grandma, not her. My mom asked me repeatedly if I had any money and I couldn't help but wonder why. Well, I didn't have any money at the time whatsoever and I felt bad because I couldn't get my grandma anything, not that she would care because she doesn't really care about gifts as she does the company of her family, but my mom was wanting me to pay for my OWN dinner. Now, usually she takes care of everything because that's what families generally do, but she couldn't do that. And then she tried to pull some shit and be like "Why don't you ask Troy for some money?" I automatically said "No" because I don't want to have to inconvenience him and plus he was broke at the time too. So, then she pretty much asked to see if I could scrap up some money in one day, basically, and I just knew that wasn't going to happen, no matter what she thought. So, I told her that I more than likely wouldn't be able to make it or, I could make it but I'd just have something to eat before I got there or whatever, but then she tried to pull a guilt trip on me and say that my grandma would feel bad for me and then she'd have to pay for my dinner on her birthday, blah blah blah. In a nutshell, I couldn't go because my mom was being too cheap even though she definitely has the money. (Hell, she went shopping afterwards and bought shit she didn't even need...) Troy told me that he doesn't even treat people he DOESN'T like like that. He said that she's being too cold, which I can't help but agree. Fuck, she even bought a NEW FUCKING CAR pretty much as soon as I had left and then the nerve to as ME for money. So, there went $90 out of my paycheck... There was absolutely NOTHING wrong with her '03 Alero. NOTHING. And yet she went out of her way to bring home a brand new 2008 something just for the fuck of it...
><

I just got paid Friday and I'm hanging onto every single dollar that I possibly can. I only have about two weeks left at Holly's and I know damn well that my time's limited and yet I know I can't stay there forever (nor do I want to) because I don't want to inconvenience her parents more than I already have... The whole thing with Maudie and I getting a place totally fell the fuck through. She was supposed to get a hold of me so we could hang out and potentially get an apartment or something together, but she never did get back to me, so the option of me getting a room mate is slim to none. Troy wasn't really sure about me moving in with him because he feared it would be too soon and he had a live-in girlfriend before in the past and things went horribly wrong, which I understand, don't get me wrong, but I'm more than ready, and besides, where the fuck else do I have to go? I can't afford a one bedroom apartment on my own with fucking County Market pay... So, he told me he's been thinking about it and we'll have to talk more about it, but I think he's slowly coming around to the idea. I mean, fuck, this place is pretty much my second home anyway. I've been here since Thursday, I clean, I help him and his room mate Tommy in any possible way that I can; Tommy's all about me moving in and I hope Troy is ready, too. He told me and he knows that I'm responsible and that I get my bills paid and on time, too. (Fuck what my mom says, I AM responsible, Goddammit.)

Yeah, Holly, her boyfriend, and her parents went out of town on Thursday and they pretty much told me that they didn't want me in the house when they were gone, which kinda sucks. I mean, I can understand because it's their house, but still. It's just like...damn. My own mom doesn't trust me and neither do her parents. I don't know why, I really don't get it. I'm a very good kid, I've never done anything wrong, no matter what my mom tries to make me believe otherwise.
:/
I haven't really been back, and oddly, I kinda don't want to. I really like being... ]]> ~Rezny