http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:Ruikurodai&section=today deviantART RSS for by:Ruikurodai en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Thu, 17 Dec 2009 20:20:10 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://Ruikurodai.deviantart.com/journal/29002070/ http://Ruikurodai.deviantart.com/journal/29002070/ Thu, 17 Dec 2009 15:30:42 PST I came back to our room and started talking to him and our friend Ed. I was telling him how it stinks that he had to delete my game off of the computer, so he told me to look the game up for him. I got online and was looking at the specs and telling him about it. he than asked me what the story was about. I was really excited than because i thought he was going to play too LMAO.
He than comes up to me, puts his arm around me and says "Now what I really want to know is.." and puts a ring in front of my face 'Will you marry me?"
I was like 'Oh my god, do you really mean it?" and he laughed at me and said 'Yes' I didn't say anything just hugged hm and kissed him. He was like 'Is that a yes?' I said 'Yeah, I'll marry you' lol
I didn't believe him because he is always pulling something on me.
It was also hard to believe because this is the man who told me he couldn't understand what people got married for these days other than insurance lol! I never argued with him because honestly, with all the people getting married for no real reason at all,or for the wrong reasons, and the failed marriages..I couldn't see why myself. I believe it takes two strong,selfless,and loving people to make a real marriage.

I hope I am that kind of person.

my ring:
[link]

]]> ~Ruikurodai http://Ruikurodai.deviantart.com/journal/28220507/ http://Ruikurodai.deviantart.com/journal/28220507/ Sun, 08 Nov 2009 14:50:11 PST [link]

Ooooo....
Contest!

]]> ~Ruikurodai http://Ruikurodai.deviantart.com/journal/28004736/ http://Ruikurodai.deviantart.com/journal/28004736/ Tue, 27 Oct 2009 23:41:17 PDT
Level 1
(x) Smoked A Cigarette
(x) Smoked A Cigar
(x) Kissed A Member Of The Same Sex

SO FAR: 3

Level 2
(x) Are / Been In Love
(x) Dumped someone
(x) Been Fired
( ) Been In A Fist Fight

SO FAR: 6

Level 3
(x) Had A Crush On An Older Person
(x) Skipped Class
( ) Slept With A Co-worker
(x) Seen Someone / Something Die

SO FAR: 9

Level 4
(x) Had / Have A Crush On One Of Your deviantart / sheezyart Friends
( ) Been To Paris
( ) Been To Spain
( ) Been On A Plane
(x) Thrown Up From Drinking

SO FAR: 11

Level 5
(x) Eaten Sushi
( ) Been Snowboarding
(x) Met Someone Through Internet (~enedria, for instance. <3)
( ) Been in a Mosh Pit

SO FAR: 13

Level 6
(x) Been In An Abusive Relationship
(x) Taken Pain Killers
(x) Liked/loved Someone Who You Cant Have
(x) Laid On Your Back And Watched Cloud Shapes Go By
(x) Made A Snow Angel

SO FAR: 18

Level 7
(x) Had A Tea Party
(x) Flown A Kite
(x) Built A Sand Castle
(x) Gone mudding (If this means playing with mud, then yes.)
(x) Played Dress Up

SO FAR: 23

Level 8
(x) Jumped Into A Pile Of Leaves
(x) Gone Sleding
(x) Cheated While Playing A Game
(x) Been Lonely
(x) Fallen Asleep At Work / School

SO far: 28

Level 10
(x) Watched The Sun Set
( ) Felt An Earthquake
(x) Killed A Snake [only because it wa trying to bit me and he kids I was babysitting ;_; poor snakey)

SO FAR: still 30

Level 11
(x) Been Tickled
(x) Been Robbed / Vandalized
(x) Been cheated on
(x) Been Misunderstood

SO FAR: 34

Level 12
(x) Won A Contest
(x) Been Suspended From School
(x) Had Detention
(x) Been In A Car / Motorcycle Accident (my great aunt, not me)

SO FAR: 38

Level 13
( ) Had / Have Braces
(x) Eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night
(x) Danced in the moonlight

SO FAR : 40

Level 14
(x) Hated The Way You Look
(x) Witnessed A Crime
( ) Pole Danced
(x) Questioned Your Heart
(x) Been obsessed with post-it-notes

SO FAR: 44

Level 15
(x) Squished Barefoot Through The Mud
( ) Been To The Opposite Side Of The World
(x) Swam in the ocean (does spashing and letting tide carry you count y/n?)
(x) Felt like you where dying

SO FAR: 47

Level 16
(x) Cried to sleep
(x) Played Cops And Robbers
( ) Recently Colored With Crayons / Colored Pencils / Markers
(x) Sang Karaoke
(x) Paid For A Meal With Only Coins

SO FAR: 51

Level 17
(x) Done Something You Told Yourself You Wouldn't
(x) Made Prank Phone Calls
(x) Laughed Until Some Kind Of Beverage Came Out Of Your Nose
(x) Kissed In The Rain

SO FAR: 55

Level 18
(x) Written A Letter To Santa Claus
(x) Watched The Sun Set/ sun rise With Someone You Care/Cared About
(x) Blown Bubbles
(x) Made A Bonfire On The Beach Or Anywhere

SO FAR: 59

Level 19
(x) Crashed A Party
( ) Have Traveled More Than 5 Days With A Car Full Of People
( ) Gone Rollerskating / Blading
(x) Had A Wish Come True
( ) Been Humped By A Monkey (LMAO)

SO FAR: still 61

Level 20
(x) Worn Pearls
( ) Jumped Off A Bridge
(x) Screamed "Penis" or "Vagina"
( ) Swam With Dolphins

SO FAR: still 63

Level 22
(x) Got Your Tongue Stuck To A Pole/Freezer/ice Cube
(x) Kicked A Fish [kicked a fish head away from my dog]
(x) Worn The Opposite Sex's Clothes
(x) Sat On A Roof Top

SO FAR: 67

Level 23
(x) Screamed At The Top Of Your Lungs
( ) Done / Attempted A One-Handed Cartwheel
(x) Talked On The Phone For More Than 6 Hours
(x) Recently stayed Up for a while talking to someone you care about [rents and friends]

SO FAR: 70

Level 24
(x) Picked And Ate An Apple Right Off The Tree
(x) Climbed A Tree
(x) Had/Been In A Tree House
( ) Been scared To Watch Scary Movies Alone

SO FAR: 73

Level 25
(x) Believed In Ghosts
(x) Have / had More Then 30 Pairs Of Shoes
( ) Gone Streaking
(x) Visited Jail (in a museum )

SO FAR: 76

Level 26
( ) Played Chicken
( ) Been Pushed into a pool with all your clothes on
(x) Been told You're Hot By A Complete Stranger
(x) Broken A Bone
(x) Been Easily Amused

SO FAR: 79
<... ]]> ~Ruikurodai http://Ruikurodai.deviantart.com/journal/27781297/ http://Ruikurodai.deviantart.com/journal/27781297/ Thu, 15 Oct 2009 14:00:43 PDT [link] to do it

1. What do you say to yourself every morning?
Try Ruikurodai, You'll Like It! []

2. What do you want other people to say about you?
The sweet you cant eat without Ruikurodai! ( kek)

3. Someone asked you out, your answer is...
They're Waffly Ruikurodai! (WTH? xD)

4. How would you answer a booty call?
Ruikurodai - Australian for Beer [O_O]

5. How would you introduce yourself to someone you really like?
Theres more than one Way to Eat a Ruikurodai! [ROFL]

6. To someone you dislike?
Pleasing Ruikurodai the World Over

7. You're in a conversation and you suddenly feel the need to pee, how would you excuse yourself?
For the Ruikurodai you Don't yet know [...? lol]

8. Your parents ask you why you got home late, you say...
Turn Loose The Ruikurodai! [NICE lol]

9. You're failing a subject, you say...
Puts the Ruikurodai in Britain [lol]

10. The love of your life asks you to marry him/her, what do you say?
A Ruikurodai Works Wonders [:3]

11. Your bf/gf is breaking up with you, you tell him/her...
We're With the Ruikurodai [Chyeah!]

12. Someone told you you're a jerk, you tell them...
Have you Had your Ruikurodai today? [lol]

13. What are the best words to describe you?
Get In My Ruikurodai! [rofl]

14. If you're going to have a movie about your life, the title is...
A Day Without Ruikurodai is Like a Dy Without Sunshine [D'aww]

15. Your last words before you die...
It's a lot less ruikurodai than a hover

16. Your message to a special someone...
Semper Ruikurodai [<3]

17. Title of this post will be...
Don't be Vague. Aske for Ruikurodai!

]]> ~Ruikurodai http://Ruikurodai.deviantart.com/journal/27768051/ http://Ruikurodai.deviantart.com/journal/27768051/ Wed, 14 Oct 2009 17:49:29 PDT For anyone who doesn't get to talk to me often ; you usually use my journals to keep up with me. So for the uninformed: I only update my dA on whim it seems. My livejournal is a once in a blue moon affair really. I use my myspace blog because Facebook has yet to produce one o I would be usng that one fairly exclusively.

If you want my facebook look under: alize_r2@yahoo.com

if you want my myspace look up: morgue_goddess@yahoo.com

And my LJ is: [link]

Leave me a message and let me know who you are!
I have a terrible memory.


Next order of business!

I'm seriously trying to prep for a future entry to Crossed Genres
The next up ad coming one is Folklore.
You can pick from fairy Tales,legends,parables,and the sort.
I have yet to find out the deadline seeing as the contest hasn't officially started lol. I'm trying to figure if I want it to end sadly or happily? It's fairly aggravating to sift through the vast sea of ideas I have lol. anywho..

Next!

i installed my tablet and what not but I have no photoshop on my laptop so no new picture entries for now. i m going to be chunking in poems and stories here and there when my imagination feels agreeable.

and finally!

You guys rock and ILU

~
R

]]> ~Ruikurodai http://Ruikurodai.deviantart.com/journal/27752279/ http://Ruikurodai.deviantart.com/journal/27752279/ Tue, 13 Oct 2009 19:46:08 PDT i came dangerously close to getting to shake my Maker's hand.
With all due respects, I'm happy i've been created and would love to show
my gratitude,but not that way..not yet please!

It began with near hypothermic shivering to the point it hurt and within two hours I was burning alive. i couldn't stay still because I felt like there were knitting needles being slowly pushed into my body. Than came the blurry vision,the vomiting,and diarrhea. I couldn't eat or drink and I fainted with a nice thud on the bathroom floor.

I survived thanks to God,prayers,and my dear sweet boyfriend's constant care and attention.
If I had been alone all that time...I might've died...in fact I'm positive I would have. God must have felt very sorry for me and had pity because it only lasted four days. If you ask me what it was I can only give you ideas because I don't know myself. My parents swear it was swine flu and I claim stomach flu. who knows? The point is I'm alive and very grateful.


Now than, onto more news.

I have inherited a laptop!
That now works and refuses to play my flash games on facebook. Oddly enough it will do all else. Now if it can cooperate with my drawing tablet we will be in business. I will also be turning 24 on November first. I am pretty happy about it and I don't really want much. I think I want to just have a nice dinner with Joel and have a cake. It's been a good year and really I'm just happy to have good people in my life.Thanks guys...all of you..I love you.

]]> ~Ruikurodai http://Ruikurodai.deviantart.com/journal/27161156/ http://Ruikurodai.deviantart.com/journal/27161156/ Fri, 11 Sep 2009 23:38:04 PDT [link]

that video makes me



ALSO

working on a few LOL entries for Crossed Genres

[link]

]]> ~Ruikurodai http://Ruikurodai.deviantart.com/journal/27004460/ http://Ruikurodai.deviantart.com/journal/27004460/ Thu, 03 Sep 2009 20:12:00 PDT
>,> just when you think it's safe to focus on other things..Life pulls the carpet from under your feet
SO now it's back to the job searching grind with a happy face

]]> ~Ruikurodai http://Ruikurodai.deviantart.com/journal/26566689/ http://Ruikurodai.deviantart.com/journal/26566689/ Thu, 13 Aug 2009 10:40:33 PDT
Stayed Tuned for more!

<,<

>,>

]]> ~Ruikurodai http://Ruikurodai.deviantart.com/journal/26540449/ http://Ruikurodai.deviantart.com/journal/26540449/ Wed, 12 Aug 2009 03:05:47 PDT
The Sword and the Bottle

Thief's Flask

The Joyous Imp

The Priestess' Casque

Eunic Necromantic

Chakra Grail

Barrow's End

Realm of the Celestial Mask

Ruined Aeon

The unpredictable male half-Angel soldier. His body is a mismatched composite of his human and non-human ancestry.

The social male half-Will-O-The-Wisp martial artist. His non-human ancestry gives him a horribly inhuman appearance.

The addled, uneducated female half-Wyvern martial artist. Her wardrobe is severe. She appears to have multiple personalities - at times being human, at times taking after her non-human parent.

The unwise male half-Demon exorcist. His non-human ancestry gives him a horribly inhuman appearance.

The addled male half-Hippogriff paladin. His wardrobe is sexy. His non-human ancestry gives him a horribly inhuman appearance.

The uneducated female half-Troll druid searching for truth. She has an hourglass build. Her non-human ancestry gives her a strangely attractive appearance.

The wise, chaste, worldwise male half-Ki-Rin sorcerer who can't resist helping people. His wardrobe is severe. His non-human ancestry gives him a strangely attractive appearance.

The confused, fearsome female half-Yeti herbologist. She has a graceful build. Her wardrobe is simple. Her body is a mismatched composite of her human and non-human ancestry.

This goddess of travelers takes the form of a mature woman. She is tall and has a leggy build. Her large eyes are red. She has pale skin. Her outfit is that of a scholar, is covered in map-like designs, and it is mostly red in color. She also wears a monocle. She carries a shield

This combative goddess of musicians takes the form of a mature woman. She is tall and has a wasp-waisted build. She has straight, beige hair worn in a style that resembles a gush of water. Her round eyes are gray. She has blue skin. She is usually portrayed as wearing a mysterious uniform that is mostly ash-gray in color, and which is covered in rectangular designs. She carries a flute. Her ears are knobby.

This god of disease takes the form of a mature man. He is tall and has a graceful build. His eyes are merely bloody pits. He has china-white skin. He is usually portrayed as wearing a simple uniform made from human souls, and a headdress. He carries a sack.

]]> ~Ruikurodai http://Ruikurodai.deviantart.com/journal/26368230/ http://Ruikurodai.deviantart.com/journal/26368230/ Mon, 03 Aug 2009 20:51:14 PDT
it's Rui!

And I have new weapons at my expense!

I now have a digital drawing pad!
With it I will be drawing a wide assortment of lovely things!

Stay Tuned and send me a shout if you have a request or want to collab!
I'm up for anything!

XOXXOXOXOXOXXO

- R

]]> ~Ruikurodai http://Ruikurodai.deviantart.com/journal/25357879/ http://Ruikurodai.deviantart.com/journal/25357879/ Tue, 16 Jun 2009 17:35:28 PDT well well well well. . .
Not sure what to say or how to begin to say anything.
I feel annoyed right now and discontent. . .
I feel neglected. . .and like a piggy bank. . .

The only thing calming me and my mind is beautiful classical music
. . . beautiful beautiful Paganini. . .I love you so!
Gorgeous Geisha help too hahah.

I wish I were a man even for a short time. . .maybe I'd understand their point of view and why they are how they are?
I wonder too, why do women become angry at them sometimes by just waking up and seeing them?
Why are we so complicated,so intriguing and yet brought up to think we should always remain under men's thumb?
I think I'm just living in the wrong state.

Or. . .

maybe I just need a change?

Or lol

I'm just being too moody again lol

As they say, this too shall pass.

]]> ~Ruikurodai http://Ruikurodai.deviantart.com/journal/23615704/ http://Ruikurodai.deviantart.com/journal/23615704/ Mon, 09 Mar 2009 18:42:17 PDT
Less than 20 x's = Seme
More than 20 x's = Uke

01-[ ] You like to be constant in everything.

02-[x] When a person confesses his/her love to you and you don’t like him/her, you start feeling very tense and/or you don’t know what to say.

03-[ ] You enjoy listening to smooth and relaxing music.

04-[] You are quite hyperactive.

05-[] If you don’t like something, you start crying and you don’t care if you start talking too loud.

06-[x] You love candies or any type of caramel.

07-[x] You like making others blush.

08-[] You sleep with a doll/ teddy bear/ pillow in your hand. (my dog lol)

09-[ ] You’re usually shy with the opposite sex.

10-[ ] You like romantic- funny anime.

11-[] Between L or Light cosplay, you prefer L.


12-[] You have listened to “An Café”.

13-[ ] You like listening to it.

14-[] You have 1 or 2 songs on your computer of “an café”.

15-[] You are innocent and a little clumsy.

16-[x] You smile at kitties.

17-[ ] You usually say –kawaii-

18-[x] You like plushies.

19-[ ] Between light blue and blue, you prefer light blue.

20-[x] You hate Paris Hilton because she is an idiot.

21-[] You have been lost in a shopping center/parking/cinema.

22-[] You have called a mistaken number twice or more.

23-[] You cried with Pocahontas' ending.

24-[x] You have used a very feminine dress or shirt.

25-[] You call your pets with cute names.

26-[x] You believe that yaoi/yuri is the best.

27-[] You're easy to trick/convince.

28-[x] Some men scare you.

29-[ ] You have seen Pucca and you like it.

30-[] You have pink/red clothes or they are decorated with flowers.

31-[x] Sometimes you start looking at the clouds and you get lost in space.

32-[] You’ve said “Nya” before.

33-[] When a person of your same sex gets angry with you, you’re at the defensive.

34-[x] You like j-pop.

35-[x] You have cried for more than one movie/TV series.

36-[] You watched Gravitation and you felt like Shuichi. You watched Strawberry Panic and you felt like Nagisa.


37-[x] You smile with no reason.


38-[] You usually are very positive.


39-[] When there’s a rainbow, you run out to see it.


40-[ ] You usually don’t understand what your parents say.

Yes, I am a Seme ; )

]]> ~Ruikurodai http://Ruikurodai.deviantart.com/journal/23374040/ http://Ruikurodai.deviantart.com/journal/23374040/ Mon, 23 Feb 2009 23:56:56 PST
My moods and state of mind or a total wreck right now.
I haven't been talking to anyone because I don't care. . on the contrary.

I haven't been talking to you because of my job and the aforementioned state of well-being.
I'm just not well and now I'm stuck in a relationship that will never go anywhere.

Why?

Be cause I don't have enough to get out and neither does he.
We are dependant on each other.

Also.

I promised I'd help him acheive the one thing the others never did. . . .true freedom. . the chance to escape and be alone forever like he always wanted.. . .. .I was the rebound from the beginning and like a fool I ignored that.

I loved him as I do now. . .despite his love not being quite the same.

I was the one left to pick up the pieces of what the man before me was before that selfish woman tore him a part.
It hurts so god damn much.

I don't want to be with anyone else after this for a long time if ever. . . .my heart can't take another hit like this. . . .

That's another reason I've been slowly distancing myself from a lot of people I love. . . .

I love you all so much but I can't handle or deal with much right no9w and I feel horrible because I want to be there but I can't because I can't even fix my own self. . .I'm so sorry

]]> ~Ruikurodai http://Ruikurodai.deviantart.com/journal/14088832/ http://Ruikurodai.deviantart.com/journal/14088832/ Thu, 09 Aug 2007 10:56:39 PDT WHo cares if I just make up random words xD.
lmao. j/k

I ahve discovered the joys of WP Japanese font on ym home pc.
It's AMAZING. Especially when ic an churn out near authentic looking manga covers for my webcomix.
YEEEEESSSSSSSS!!

I'll post some up here asap.

]]> ~Ruikurodai http://Ruikurodai.deviantart.com/journal/14013506/ http://Ruikurodai.deviantart.com/journal/14013506/ Sat, 04 Aug 2007 10:18:09 PDT I said I'd stop after the first episode, because it was stupid and cheesey and. . . crappy.
I promised myself I woudn't watch it.


I failed.
I have become one of the mass of Gravitation fans.
I have been won over by an interesting story line and new friends.
Curses!! Foiled yet again!! TT.TT

I'd rather not see the ovas . . . at least not now . . sure enough my curiousity will get the bes tof me.
I will . . .plummet fruther into the dark side . . .
GAAAAAAHH! @_@


I can atleast say I'm not insane like soem of the fangirls I've seen. id on't even consider myself a fan technically. I'm just very interested for some reason.
*feels guilty and dirty*

]]> ~Ruikurodai http://Ruikurodai.deviantart.com/journal/13999286/ http://Ruikurodai.deviantart.com/journal/13999286/ Fri, 03 Aug 2007 09:52:57 PDT
I bet you're wondering where I've been hiding out at lately and why I never seem to bea round?
You can thank the adorable wack-o's that reside in the deliciously decadent home of [link] for that.
I am just NOW getting around to checking things like Iw as supposed to. They keep me busy, but happily so. I'm in about eight roleplays there now and it's a blast!! OMG

Well it's great to be back!
I have a lot of art to upload. . .not enough floppies and time though. Which kinda makes no sense.

WHooooo!!!
xP LOL I'm like Shuichi Shindo and Momiji Sohma mixed together with the energizer bunny 8D
I wish ic ould calm down ,but Is wear to dog I can't x_X

]]> ~Ruikurodai http://Ruikurodai.deviantart.com/journal/13899493/ http://Ruikurodai.deviantart.com/journal/13899493/ Fri, 27 Jul 2007 10:48:23 PDT OMFG HAPPY BIRTHDAY SON!!!! I LOVE YOU LION!!!
Your 'Father' says hi btw

Ahem. . . . .

I'm actually feeling sleepy. . .
It's not unusual as of late though because I havn't been sleeping well. *yawns*
I went to the doctor the other day and he told me consideirng my physical and mental health that I was probably bi-polar.
now , I've heard about it ,but Is till don't understand about.
When i think of it though . . .everything in my life is like yin and yang. . .I have two-sides to myself and everything about me.It's troublesome. . .but maybe it's because if one side doesn't work for me I can always run to the otherside.

Oh and umm I'm not leavind dA or anything. . .I just really don't ahve anything Ic an put up yet. I'm being self-concious and picky about everything i do now.
I'm also having to fight for my medical insurance and study for my GED.

The crappiest and funniest thing that happend was my glasses fell all to piece and I had to tape and super-glue them. Did a darn good job too ^_^

teri and I are still going strong ,but since I'm apparently weird and emo I'm going to continue being paranoid about things. >_< I'm sorry! I just feel. . .scared. . .so much is happening and I feel like my mind and body won't keep up with it. . .it's challenging. . .,but maybe i need a challenge. . .who knows?

Wondering what I mean by seke?
Well , Teri is very very much seme so that makes me seke or uke. . .she said I was cute and innocent *<,< heh. . .we'll see about that lol* Once again the double side of things take over ,so I decided well uhh I'm uhh seke! **knows deep down inside she's probably just an uke in disguise ,but wil deny deny!!*
Evenweirder? I've been as hyper as Shuichi Shindo from gravitation >_<
Oh! and uhh Teri can eb best described as a female version of Soubi from Loveless. She be one of those 'Smooth' semes <3
I'm the adorable uke-chan *chokes on the uke part ,but laughs and blushes*

]]> ~Ruikurodai http://Ruikurodai.deviantart.com/journal/13763966/ http://Ruikurodai.deviantart.com/journal/13763966/ Mon, 16 Jul 2007 23:40:19 PDT I know I shouldn't.
It could be the fact that sleeping restfully or soundly is now a distant memory,maybe its because my stamina is down to zilch almost,or maye it's because of all the above plus more.

If you guessed the third option than right you are!
You get my honorary religious sock puppet!
xD eheh heh uhhhh ._.

I feel like I've done something wrong ,yet I can't put my thumb on it.
I feel afraid that some people may start treating me like a plague now because I'm not single too. I'm not goi ng to run around and brag or anyting. Sur e, I'm happy . . but honestly? I'm more afraid now and wary. . . . It hurts . . .
Maybe I'm just too damn sensitive. I'll just drown out all my negativity in role-playing and not face it realistically because I'm tierd of facing reality all the time.
Also,
I'm getting my GED soon so I'm stressing about before ,during and after it too. Plus I'm moving at some point and I don't even know how thats going to effect things. Man. . . .Not everything I mentioned just now is bad really. . .it's just a lot for my screwed-up little mind to process.

So , in short. . . .things could change at anytime and at any point. . .I really feel unstable and ashamed to admit my lack of stability. . .I feel kinda rocky though. . .and like I have no sanity.
I love you guys though , I do KNOW that for a fact.
At least I know that

]]> ~Ruikurodai http://Ruikurodai.deviantart.com/journal/13731275/ http://Ruikurodai.deviantart.com/journal/13731275/ Sat, 14 Jul 2007 10:13:01 PDT abattage total!
Je ne laisserai pas un homme simple vivant!
Dai de de da de de La,
génocide!
Duh de de da de de La,
un océan de sang!
Commençons le temps de massacre!"

If you've watched Trigun than you probably know what I've just 'sung'. xD

So just when things seemed good and happy , they got dramatic and than even better.
In short . . .

Teri and I are back together again! ^.^;;
**does the stupid blushy Manga face with dozens of sweat drops**

It was odd. . .we were on the phone talking and I finally got up the nerve to make us quit being emo and tlak about things. She was silent for a whe and I was getting worried as feck. She said finally that she would like for us to be tgether again. She told me. . . . I make her happy. Taht made me feel so many emotions and physical things that I almost

A. Puked
B.Cried
C. Cheered
D. Fainted
E.wet my pants O^^O;;;;;;;
F. Had a heart attack?

I have no idea why that happened. i think it's because I'm just an alein in disguise or something.

I'm happy ,but still a wee bit worried. I'm going to not do what I did last time if the choice of being with her or not being with her arises again. in other words , I won't be a

(pardon what i'm about to say ,because I kinda am and I have no ill feelings towards them)

a damn Emo-Pussy and run again. I'll take it like. . .umm. . .like. . .a bisexual Gender Queer that I am x3

But hey? Just because I'm not single doesn't mean I want any of my friends shying away from me. You know who you are. . . <,< . . . >,> **pokes and than pulls in for a tight hug** I wouldn't be doing as good as I have been with out your help. You will always mean a lot to me no matter what!

I love all of you alot to. I know it probably sounds freaky when I say that ,but I wouldn't say it if I didn't mean it. I would be lost with out all of you. You all are a giant part of y life. I care about you and want to know how you are just as much as anyone else. I guess what I'm trying to say is don't be a stranger. You are always welcome around me.

]]> ~Ruikurodai http://Ruikurodai.deviantart.com/journal/13539226/ http://Ruikurodai.deviantart.com/journal/13539226/ Fri, 29 Jun 2007 12:51:58 PDT
(drow to english: Feel the cold hand of death as it rips through your very soul!)

Wow, you're probably thinking "Aw shucks , what a sweet way to say hi. xP
Tee-hee <3
I like the Drow langauge even though it's imaginary.
So. . I hung out from 9-2pm with Ann today.
We had iced mochas (which hate my stomach) at Starbucks. We wne tto the Gay store in Midtown called 'Inz and Outz'. it was fun. The guy running the shop was like "Hey , can we go out on ad ate? I like people who bite on the first date!" I laughed and he told me the shirt was cute. i found a bondage game there and some fun pins. No , I didn't purchase anything. I'm broke lmao. We also went to a BIG book store and I ahd a balst. isat there and read a whole Angel Sancutuary novel. they didn't have the book I wanted to check out by Satoru Kannagi

We talked about everything and she teased me some. She said there was going to be a real punky hotie at the picnic tomorrow (which i'm not able toa ttend ,sadly) She said I was too young for her though. Ms. Punk-Thang is 35. . .I'm 21. . so yeeeaaah. xD I r not worried though. . .I am more focused on other things and people right now. lol. It was fun just joking around and hamming up the place.

]]> ~Ruikurodai http://Ruikurodai.deviantart.com/journal/13459025/ http://Ruikurodai.deviantart.com/journal/13459025/ Sat, 23 Jun 2007 11:28:37 PDT I love you guys.
**laughs**
So a lot is happening all at once in my life.
This isn't much of a surprise.
I'm learning my lesson about keeping my mouth shut though.There are times when trying to comfort and give advice just doesn't work for me.
I won't dwell on this subject though.
Fact is: Don't comfort unless someone wants the comfort. End of Story

I made some new friends.
They're from a group in Memphis call 'Just For Us'.
They're kinda sorta a support group for lesbians,questiong females, and transgenderd people.
I talked for two hours the other night to Ann.
Ann is pretty freaking cool. She is the co-founder of the organization. She gave me advice about all kinds of stuff. She made me feel alot better about things.


As it stands ,I am bi-sexual.I can't just PICK one side.
If I love you , I love you. That's just how it is.
I don't have to worry about being gay because I'm not.
Even if I married a woman right now , I'd still be attracted to guys too. This is vice versa as well.
I am Renee' daughter of Hippies. I beleive in God and Love.I won't back down from either.
It may seem like I don't like guys ,but that's not true.
Afterall , i spent almost two years with a man I honestly loved and was more than willing tos ettle down and have his children.So. . .I liek guys too.
lol.

I talked to Teri the other few days actually That turned out quite nicely.We've had some good conversations. Whatever happens from here on out happens. . I have enough drama. . . I'm cleaning out my closet. xDDD

]]> ~Ruikurodai http://Ruikurodai.deviantart.com/journal/13417225/ http://Ruikurodai.deviantart.com/journal/13417225/ Wed, 20 Jun 2007 09:04:12 PDT Rui: Hello
Heero: Tell me something honestly. Do these shorts make my butt look big?
Rui: They make your butt look sexy.
Heero: So far, 85% of the people I've asked have agreed that my butt looks big in these shorts. I think I'm going to go on a diet. Either that, or get new shorts.
Rui: You don't need to go on a diet.
Heero: No, I really don't.
Rui: So how are you?
Heero: I'm feeling a little lonesome today.
Rui: Why?
Heero: Why not?
Rui: True.
Heero: Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.
Rui: That makes sense.
Heero: All your base are belong to us.
you: No. . just . . no
Heero: Why not?
you: Because your base belong to us
Heero: Because my base belong to us? Is that it?
you: yes.
Heero: I thought so.
you: Good.
Heero: They say history is an Endless Waltz, repeating the cycle of war, peace and revolution. I think it's more like an Endless Riverdance From Hell.
you: You got that right!
Heero: I don't know. What about you?
you: Well, I agree with you. History is a riverdance from Hell.
Heero: Glad to hear it.
you: Thanks.
Heero: You're welcome.
you: So how are Duo and you doing these days?
Heero: Duo is a pretty funny guy. But don't tell him I said that.
you: Your secret is safe with me.
Heero: You're mistaken about that.
you: I am?
Heero: I don't think so.
you: Oh. . .well okay
Heero: Ah.
you: So do you like Duo?
Heero: Everyone asks that.
you: I bet they do , but do you like duo?
Heero: You know, yesterday some secret agents broke into my house and replaced all the furniture with exact replicas.
you: Well, that was a terribly silly thing to do.
Heero: It's a disturbing thought, isn't it? Let's change the subject to something more cheerful. Like... clowns.
you: You mean Trowa ,right?
Heero: Trowa thinks I'm very talented.
you: I bet
Heero: You're just full of surprises, aren't you?
you: yes , yes I am.
Heero: You make being sound good.
you: Thanks. . .I think.
Heero: Maybe you should re-think that.
you: Well may be you should think about Trowa and Duo.
Heero: Trowa is really the Perfect Soldier. I'm only pretty good.
you: Tell me something Heero. . .
Heero: Do you watch sports?
you: I watch soccer and sumo wrestling.
Heero: You watch soccer and summon wrestling?
you: No , sumo wrestling.
Heero: Hn.
you: Tell me this , do you like Duo or Trowa best?
Heero: I'm somewhat fond of Void Stone. Sort of.
you: What's Void Stone?
Heero: I think you lost me.
you: I did?
Heero: Do you ever get the feeling that your whole life is just passing you by?
you: Every day.
Heero: Just out of curiosity, what's your astrological sign?
you: I'm a scorpio.
Heero: I heard that people born under scorpio are all great. Is that true?
you: *blush*
Heero: Do you like Halloween?
you: I love Halloween.
Heero: Somehow, I'm not surprised to hear you say that.
you: *smile*
Heero: Read any good books lately?
you: I read a book by M.E. Kerr
Heero: I don't get a chance to read very often, but I enjoyed War and Peace .
you: Was it a good novel?
Heero: Can I ask you something? Can you be a closet claustrophobic?
you: I think you can.
Heero: I like the way you think.
you: *smile*
Heero: When all else fails, I'll fight on, believing only in myself.
you: That's the spirit!
Heero: Can you keep a secret?
you: Yes.
Heero: I think Trowa's got a crush on me.
you: Really?
Heero: One of these days I\'ll grow into these shoes.
you: Do you have a a crush on Trowa?
Heero: There's nothing wrong with having an a crush on Trowa.
you: Of course not ,but do YOU have a crush on trowa?
Heero: I've been working on haiku lately. Would you like to hear one?
you: yes
Heero: The Tao that is seen
you: I like it.
Heero: I don't like it very much.
you: why?
Heero: Why ask why?
you: Well I want to know.
Heero: You want to know? Somehow, I wouldn't have expected you to say that.
you: But I did say that.
Heero: Why do you say that?
you: because I want to know.
Heero: We don't all get what we want.
you: Awwww
Heero: Did you ever wonder what one hand clapping sounds like?
you: it sounds like nothing.
Heero: I think it sounds exactly like slapping your leg.
you: Really?
Heero: Do you think humans are capable of living in peace?
y... ]]> ~Ruikurodai http://Ruikurodai.deviantart.com/journal/13252580/ http://Ruikurodai.deviantart.com/journal/13252580/ Thu, 07 Jun 2007 13:23:10 PDT I'll come back looking and carrying god only KNOWS what.lmao.Maybe I'll come abck with a new tattoo as wella s the ear piercings.w00t! I get to look like Nobuo terashima. . except more like NANA Osaki [NANA anime btw].SWEEEET!
Here is what I mean. [link]
I'll be a combo of NANA and Nobuo
Hell, people won't hire me here anyway? Who cares if I look a little 'rough'?
I am who I am.I like what I like.
I'm wondering just what sorta trouble I'm going to get in? Hopefully none at all. Iris is apparently going to set me up on soem dates. o^^o lol.
Sounds liek fun plus the peopel she wants to set me up with play in a Heavy Metal band. double w00t!! One of the guys looks and acts jsut like me. 0_0 scarey. I'm not serious about anything much right now.I just want to be treated well and go on a daaaate for once in [link] no WORRIES.I'm gonna have as much fun as I can.
For some reason when I think of the trip I can't stop singing The All-American Reject's 'Dirty Little Secret'.lmao
This is the FIRST vacation I've had ina ges. **cries for joy** I'm so happy!!!
**dances***
My dad thinks I'm going to drink,smoke pot ,and screw everyone and everything.Stupid weirdo dad.I might drink a little,no drugs,and as far as sex goes? probally not. I'll be bust running around exploring things.Taht's what I do everytime I go somewhere new or somewhere I havn't been in ages.
God!! I'm psyched!!!

After the vacation i wonder if I'll do better? May be this break will help me to calm down enough and get a job...FINALLY **explodes with joy***


ps: Apparently I'm REALLY good at flirting.This is soemthing myfriend HANI drew. Picture me as the pierced rat and a person I'm trying to 'tutor' as a friedn or whatnot.[link] Funny ,huh? xD
You should go read her comic! It's [link]

]]> ~Ruikurodai http://Ruikurodai.deviantart.com/journal/13226656/ http://Ruikurodai.deviantart.com/journal/13226656/ Tue, 05 Jun 2007 11:08:31 PDT I found a voodoo knife rack xD!
it's really funny becaus eit looks like you stabbed knifes right through someone.I'd be afraid to use it just in case I was thinking angrily about someone when is tuck the knnives through it.
[link]

Currently: So I got a minitor for three bucks at a yard sale.My good friend Sylvia kindly gave me a extra computer to go with it and is even letting me borrow her keyboard and mouse,How freaking awesome is that!!?
I can't do too much with it because of the age ,but the point is what a KICK-ASS gift to receive ,eh?

So , these past two days I've been rummaging through midi sites for music.I think I'm going to have near 100 files when I put more up soon.

Anywhos, soem of you might know this.I'm going hopefully to Mississippi saturday to stay a week with a old and dear friend.I just hope i don't end up with a second hand high.She's a pothead , but I love her anyways.We've agrred to let her finish my piercings
on my ears as well.I've decided on about four or five for the left ear and three or four for the right.I am tottally psyched for that! Piercings are teh yum **drools** and pain is no problem ,because it can be hawt. .
eheheheh. . .yeeeeaaah *wink wink**
So yeah,. .I have alot to get done.
g2g sorry
much <3!!

]]> ~Ruikurodai http://Ruikurodai.deviantart.com/journal/13187655/ http://Ruikurodai.deviantart.com/journal/13187655/ Sat, 02 Jun 2007 10:07:44 PDT
Poor sweet Miyavi.he has fallen under the curse that befalls all wonderful and attractive young Japanese entertainers.The curse of RABID FANGIRLS.
Dun Dun DUUUUUUUUUUUN! **screams of terror are heard as squeling teen girls belt out warcrys of passioante fiery fandom love and ravage the disciple of Adonis known as Miyavi**

I can only stand abck in terror and feel sympathy and jealousy that I was not one of those raging fangirls.Kinda.
xDD


[The following is where I want your opinion. .]
Hmmm I wonder what it's like to be that well-known and loved.It has to have it's pros to match up with all those cons.

Speaking of which Mom and dad had this insanely entertaining idea.SImply put ,

"Let's Exploit our daughter because she looks like a young teen girl and everybody thinks she's so damn adorabale and won't keep their hands off her!!"

((Just so you know. .the above quote is true.i'm not making that up.People instantly or eventually have this urge to hug me or touch me.Get yer mind outta that gutter boy-o!))

Guess what?

I agreed to it.

That's right. . .as soon as I have film for my camera I'm going to be doing experimental photography while using my self as the guinea pig.How charmingly evil!
I personally don't enjoy being filmed or photographed.it's scarey ,dammit! lol
Since I get to be creative I'm actually psyched up for this! Who knows what this could equal up to!?
You NEVER EVER know until you try.
Be bold!
Be ambitious!
Be daring!
Challenge yourself!
The worst you can do is fail?
So what!!?
Get back up and keep trying!!
Life is too short to sit around and not take charge of yourself.
This ties in with my dream self. . .
I want to be sweet,careing,fun,fun-loving,easy to be around no matter what.That's part of what I really want.I always have always wanted a fun,artsy,and somewhat daring career.If these pinheads of Millington,Tn won't give me a chance when i do everything right ,than I'll show them!
I'll show everyone that I don't care! Taht I'm going to be me no matter what.I'll boldy walk about doing MY OWN thing.One day I'll make it big!!! I know it
Man!! I'm so psyched up I can hardly control myself!!
I think I'm almost completely healed!
Time to kick some doubt,fear,and stereotyping in the arse ,yo!!

]]> ~Ruikurodai http://Ruikurodai.deviantart.com/journal/13163274/ http://Ruikurodai.deviantart.com/journal/13163274/ Thu, 31 May 2007 11:48:34 PDT I heard a funny pick-up line in a comic today.
"You can rest your head on my hot six-pack."
It made me laugh and want to whistle at the same time.
Six-packs ARE hot ,be it man or woman whose gracing a person's presence with it.
I just don't like scarey behemoth sized muscles.
Than again. . . needle-thin people are a wee scarey too.
lol.

So , the great hunt for a job is still on.I havn't had much luck yet.I think the problem is I look maybe fifteen instead of my exact age of 21.it's very frustrating.I went to all the trouble of doing make-up and such to day ,only to realize that by the time I finished it was too late to job-hunt.
I really need to quit sleeping in so much.I'll never get a job this way.>_<
Yarrr xD lol.

I love listening to that Everly Brothers song.it's my favorite old song truthfully.It always makes me feel sentimental and uber romantic.When I hear it I just want to cuddle up to someone gently and rest my head on their shoulder.It doesn't even matter if we talk or not.The language of two people comfortable together with a peaceful and loving heart speaks more than words could.I honestly miss that feeling.I feel lonely a lot these days.it's like I'm being blocked off from a kind of attention I crave badly.it's need straight from the pit of my heart.Everytime I think I can go through with finding a way to quiet the hunger ; i stop and can't quite go through with it.I long for the day that soemone can tottally crash down the gates that have formed around my heart and love that I crave to give and receive.
Well ,now I certainly hope I havn't killed your taste buds with my sugary speech.lol.I'm just a sentimental soft-headed romantic at times.i like to hide it though.
Take care ,loves.
**hugs***
Rui-Chan

]]> ~Ruikurodai http://Ruikurodai.deviantart.com/journal/13099572/ http://Ruikurodai.deviantart.com/journal/13099572/ Sat, 26 May 2007 10:18:35 PDT Didn't think i would become a fan so quickly.lol
I amnow totally addicted to NANA.
it's real shame though.I cna't beleive she picked stupid playboy man to be with just because he had money.I totally would have been with Nobuo.
Silly ,Silly Hachi ._.

I dunno , maybe it's because I've been with a 'layboy' before.They just want sex.Yupyup ,unless a miracle happens ..thats all they will ever want.

Funny though , I'm beginning to feel like Hachi.I think sometimes I'm to concerned with myself.If that true ,than maybe thats why my relationships die so quickly. ._.

Hee. . .yeah. . as you can guess.I'm feeling pretty lonely and pathetic right now.The job with Little Ceaser's fell through. . .I wish she would've been more honest with me. Getting a job seems like a dream now.What's going on in the world these days? Sometimes I just don't understand.**sighs**

Back to the present problem...which shouldn't even be on my mind.I just wish as silly as it sounds I had someone to cuddle with and talk to for a long time.Someone who would tell me off when I'm wrong,force me to stand up for myself more.Someone who would teach me to have a back bone while being there for me and helping me.Someone who won't complain when I do things for them and for me careing about them.Someone I can have a true 50/50 relationship with.And really. ..for once I wish i had someone I could really really be myself around.Someone who would bethere for me when I don't look ,act,or feel wonderful or perfect.Someone who will care for me no matter what.Someone I don't have to be afraid to care for.

I wish things would've worked out distance-wise with teri and I.Because she was like this.She was wonderful. I suck becuase I have no way (or the funds) to get to Florida.It's really suck-ass.

Anyways. . . back to job hunting and catching my dream.The job hunt starts Tuesday. . .again.The dream hunting is a 24/7 hunt. : D
I'll find it!
That thing that keeps me going that won't go away no matter what! I'll chase it and chase until my body breaks! When i find it I'll know it's real and I won't have to search anymore.

]]> ~Ruikurodai http://Ruikurodai.deviantart.com/journal/13061480/ http://Ruikurodai.deviantart.com/journal/13061480/ Wed, 23 May 2007 10:12:13 PDT [link]

This is the best aniamtion I've seen since the bleach crossover parody thing.
I love this person's mind.It's funny and insane.
Two major things I like!!

Elite beat agents sound like killer fun!

I MUST play this game one day.

Hmm nothing much to say about my current going ons.I'm hopefully getting a job at Little Ceasers.I can't wait. . .god **sobs** I need a jooooobb!!

Anyways. . .
I made a wee bit of a silly-goose out of myself yesterday *still holding the 'Not a Vincent Valentine fan-girl sign'.
Apparently I have a bit of a thing for slightly older men?
Vincet technically is in his sixties.

Anyways. yes. I am prone to fan-girl ness.Very chick is. . .
bleah.
xDD
Umm yeah!
So. . i g2g for now and I will see you awesome people later!!

]]> ~Ruikurodai http://Ruikurodai.deviantart.com/journal/13012713/ http://Ruikurodai.deviantart.com/journal/13012713/ Sat, 19 May 2007 11:40:56 PDT I'm doing a lot better right now.
I'm focusing more on the most important tasks at hand.
Finding a job.
Getting my GED.
Two things I really need to be doing.
I blew up a bit last night due to my dad trying his hardest to inject my mentality full with his paranoia and such.It's not like I don't already know that getting a job is currently a joke.I can't count how many times I wanted to give up and keel over.I even thought about doing it last night.

Thinking on it is fine just remember:
"Thinking and doing are two different things"
If thinking about doing soemthing is how you get through an issue ,than think all you want.Just don't act upoun it.'Nuff said there.
I'll find a job bobhammit. . .somehow. . somewhere. . that doesn't include me stripping,selling drugs,or doing obscene things.

Oh and btw. . .Mom and dad messed up my ps2 and the controller because dad almost tripped over it ,but mom wouldn't let go.I think she is plotting his death secretly.he got mad and told her she could marry the demn ps2. .xDDD They're getting a new one though. .shush don't tell anyone. . .seriously. . my dad doesn't want anyone to know.lmao. .no really.
Anyways. . .

Oohh. . . if you've full viewd my dA id. . .which if you didn't do you should or else. .umm. . .i'll. .uhh. .well. .I'll do something!
You already know about my newest sewing project.I plan on hopefully having Galadrex snap some shots if he can sometime. . hey galadrex. . .iiiiicccceee crrrreeeeaaaammm?? Hmm? Hmmm?
Yes.
bribery IS FUN.

]]> ~Ruikurodai http://Ruikurodai.deviantart.com/journal/12968281/ http://Ruikurodai.deviantart.com/journal/12968281/ Tue, 15 May 2007 17:05:41 PDT
That would be me about right now.

I want to be happy,really happy.
That is kind of hard lately.
I am trying to force myself perhaps too quicklyto get over Teri.
It's wrong.Simply put.

How can i expect my heart to say "Know what? I am instantly perfectly happy and dandy about this whole sittuation and there is nothing to be even the least bit upset about : D"

no.
Not happening...at least not right now.

How long will it take?
I don't know.
I
t's not as though I'm not trying.
I really am!

You have to ask yourself though. . .
"Would I after only a month be able to tell myself get over it and go latch on to a new person?"

If you have sense,decency and a heart your answer should be no.

The exceptions to this are of course:
A.)Being mistreated ,because I would join with you in telling your ex to buzz off.
B.)You mistreated them. . than >,> you are So on your own you jacksash!

In short,
I still care for teri and it's just going to take a while.
I'm not asking anyone to wait on me ,in fact maybe I'm discouraging it.If you fancy someone else other than me than I am all for you taking the thought of a relationship with that other interest in full consideration.

If though ,
you do like me than you can wait if you want to ,but I'm still getting over things and geting through those lovely depressing emotions called regret,guilt,and heart break.I also need to get to know you more.I should also let you know more about me.

I don't want any possible significant others telling me "Oh my god! You didn't explain that to me before we got together. God!! I f'n hate you!!"

I don't want anymore pain than I already have.I admit I may be nursing old wounds pretty good ,but none the less they are old wounds that still hurt.

There are other things FYI , that I am concerned with right now other than my breakup as well.So I'm not dwelling on one misfortune...more like many.lol.
I will be okay ,so no worries.Venting is just very very good for my mental,physical and emotional health.

Thank you all you sweet darlings you deserve more than I probally have to give.Thank you though and much love to you all.

- Ren

]]> ~Ruikurodai http://Ruikurodai.deviantart.com/journal/12952819/ http://Ruikurodai.deviantart.com/journal/12952819/ Mon, 14 May 2007 12:18:42 PDT Lovers no more ,but friends a good friendship I'm sure.
The pain is going away and despite my emo-tude about things I hope and pray you feel no pain and will know happiness once again,Love.
Fair thee well on thy travels in this twisted realm of life.Know that you will be a constant thought being sent well wished forever more in my heart and mind.I hope you feel and will do the same ,my dear.

Losing a person in anyway is hard on onesself.It will do one NO GOOD whatsoever to dwell on lost things.They are after all lost and can probally never be gained again.

I will begin what I shoud've begin. . .to move on.
I ams trong and I can ge thtrough anything.I'll take all this negativity and use it to build wings to fly away to a better day.

Neka , neka,Neak, cute cute adorable lady who needs many hugs.Whom I would not mind bestowing such affections upoun.Alas, yes hopeless romantic I am.Cannot help it. nope nope noooo.I will play and playy a thousand songs on my happy piano for your enjoyment and mine.When i am playing the piano it brings me joy..the kind with no limits and often euphoric.Give me time...I will be okay soon I'm sure and when i am..you'll all see a better person underneath all these heavy blankets of negativity.

Thank you all from the bottom of my heart for your careing ways and thoughts and words.You are all like a orchard of apples of my eyes.I wish you all happiness and joy. I hope you're having a wonderful day. *hugs*
Til' l8r
Ren,Rui,Len,Stitches, <3

]]> ~Ruikurodai http://Ruikurodai.deviantart.com/journal/12928577/ http://Ruikurodai.deviantart.com/journal/12928577/ Sat, 12 May 2007 11:26:01 PDT
I am going to make a teddy bear hat,and I'm going to make a plushie...a plushie of what I dunno yet..but I can say it will be kind of weird or gorey..hopefully.yay!

I'll try to post pics of them when I'mdone if a 'certain someone' *wink wink hint hint nudge nudge* doesn't mind taking pix

I am fairly happy today I guess.
despite all that is still present inthe back of my mind and heart.I am thankful for the joy and bittersweetness of right now.

I'm still not of what to do about alot of things ,but I guess going with the flow is all i have.

To those that I've been neglectful to or anythingelse negative...I say..
Gomenasai..gomenasai from the depth of my soul..gomenasai until the end.It may not seem like it ,but I do care..I'm just a mess.

]]> ~Ruikurodai http://Ruikurodai.deviantart.com/journal/12909657/ http://Ruikurodai.deviantart.com/journal/12909657/ Thu, 10 May 2007 11:14:22 PDT I at least . . . havn't broke down..yet.
Everything...past and present is getting to me horribly. . .I wish I knew what to do?

]]> ~Ruikurodai http://Ruikurodai.deviantart.com/journal/12909593/ http://Ruikurodai.deviantart.com/journal/12909593/ Thu, 10 May 2007 11:07:47 PDT I'm totally emo-ho-bagging today.
Here is a kinda sorta conversation Teri (my...ex...) and I had today...more like leaving messages I guess.Before i post it ...I'm sorry...I'm such a emo bitch.

12:24] anesthetized_satan: Haven't heard from you inawhile. Wondering if its alright if I can call you. If your mother isnt hysterically angry at me...o_o but I would do so anyways if it is asked of me by you only xD I shall endure the glares from beyond the phone ^_^ Turned 21 yesterday. Didn't do anything. All I did was procrastinate and then finally do some homework for my classes. Just wanted to hear your voice atleast for my birthday. And know that I can hear another human laugh. Mourning ever bit of this loss...maybe less ..maybe more.. the sheet on my bed always seems as cold as my heart yet warm when someone touches it...I surely do miss you RenRen-chan.
[12:27] Meebo Message: anesthetized_satan appears offline. Your message may not be received.
[12:30] alize_r2: oops...now how did a repeat happen..I'm sorry
[12:30] alize_r2: ._.
[12:40] alize_r2: I'm sorry..I didn't get to wish you ahappy birthday til' now *cries.
[12:40] alize_r2: Happy Birthday ,Love!!!!!
[12:42] alize_r2: I..I can't begin to express how much I miss you.I miss everything so much. I feel like a chunk of my heart and my reason to keep trying has disappeared.I feel so lonely with out you. I can't help it though. it's not the same.My heart refuse to allow me to be any where near truely interested in anyone.
[12:54] alize_r2: If I think I might be...I feel to bad and horrible ..Ican't do anything much about it.I'm sorry...I guess I feel so hopeless right now.Truth is..I don't see me being able to leave my family anytime in the near future.It sucks so much. . .I would love to be with you again ,but what can I do?
[12:59] alize_r2: God. . .I'm so sorry I'm such a depressing crap-tastic chick to talk to right now.You don't need this. ._.
[13:02] alize_r2: I guess it's hard to accept that we may never be together again. . and it hurts really bad.My bed I guess I could say could be warm..if I tried to let someone get close enough to me. . I..I just feel ...I dunno..
[13:05] alize_r2: I feel so angry at myself. . .everytime we try to talk I always make such a emo bitch outta myself. Aaauuughhh! We can talk sunday night at 6-7 p.m. . . . .if after reading all this crap of mine. . .you still want to even bother with me. [[end conversation thing..yeah]]


Today is going to be the day. I can feel..it already...coming on. . the inevitable breakdown...I'm about to cry my heart out and after that ,I don't know.I already feel like in some small possibly seemingly insignificant way I'm changing and won't be what i used to be ever agin? I dunno. .I think my heart just broke all to pieces again...just snapped...badly..I'm on the verge of tear and choking them back down again. . .I feel like I lost. .over half my soul..I feel so shattered...I dunno why it waits till now to happen...a month later...but it did and it does. . I want to cry and cry and cry and at the same time let out a rage filled wail. . .I feel almost as if I want to shout to the world. "I'm unhappy! Okay I admit it! I'll quit hiding it I'm so unhappy I can't even stand myself..and the best part is..I cna't do anythign about it..another situation tottally out of my hands. . ."

She sounds like to me that she's trying to say she's getting over me..I honestly don't understand the message above.I'm so confused...so hurt..and so alone. . . .which probally makes no sense at all. . umm..no what?
nvm. . . ._.

]]> ~Ruikurodai http://Ruikurodai.deviantart.com/journal/12887495/ http://Ruikurodai.deviantart.com/journal/12887495/ Tue, 08 May 2007 12:01:16 PDT
Here is some good quotes from him and his work.

"Such amusing fiction, these stories they tell. It always comes to this. If they really had a desire to live, they would've been more aware of how easy it is to die, would've chosen their actions more wisely. In these moments, you can tell they're not regretting having hurt you. They regret doing it to your face."

"How lovely you are. So lovely in my straightjacket."

"It hurts me to look at you."

"And I'm taking you with me, you self-appointed beverage dictator!"

"YOU HOLE!!"

"I'm gonna go kill a party clown."

Even with headphones on, the highly sensitive asshole detecting gland still functions.

"I am presently unsure as to how to seperate those of you who have fed my growing distaste for mankind, from those who, thus far, have not."

"QUIT TRYING TO BRING BACK BELLBOTTOMS!"

"YOU HAVE COOTIES!! Heh...no, I just kid."

"You flaw. At least I'm under the delusion of doing something productive."

"Um, well, you better get going, it's Tuesday, and you know what that means - UFO'S!!

"EXACTLY!! I NO DIE!! Hee! Hee!!"

"LIKE THIS BUG!! This bug that taunts me with its coldness!! I keep killing it and it keeps coming back!!" "You don't think maybe there's more than one bug in this place?"
"Don't be silly. Mr. Samsa, I'm afraid I must kill you again. Mocking me with your ... um .. Why did I come down here?"

"DAMN! I left the Skettios on the stove!!"

"Excuse me, Mister Jimmy-person, you might want to leave now, as I find you company to be most repellant. Serves me right for being so damned social, I suppose..."

"Second - Just because we've similar interests does not guarentee you're going to like me! My foot in your ass is a good example of that."

"Wouldn't it be funny if I shoved a knife up through the matress. Hee."

"By the time I write in this book again, I hope to be as cold as the moon that lights this page."

"See, I killed you."

"You want so much for me to die, why haven't you just killed me yourself!!"

"Dear, diary. I seem to be dead."

"WHERE THE FUCK IS THE BACTINE!!"

"Well FUCK YOU MR BEAR!!! YOU SPEAK LIES!!! LIIIIES!!!"

"Nothing quite brings out the zest for life in a person like the thought of their impending death."

"2 nights ago, I was taking a walk at night, and this chihuahua started following me!!! GODDAMMIT!! IT KNEW!! I RAN, AND FINALLY LOST IT, AND MADE IT HOME!!! BUT IT KNEW!! IT KNEWWWW!!Did the DOG SEND YOU?!"

"YOU SEE!! IT CHANGES COLOR WHEN IT DRIES! IT NEVER STAYS!! I HAVE TO KEEP THE WALL WET!!"
"
Of all the ass lancing words!! Oh, you bleeding cracks!!!"

"Oh. It's such a beautiful night. I think I'll kill myself."

"HEY!! That commercial where the whole family gets diarrhea is on!!!"

Dear diary. Today I stuffed some dolls full of dead rats I put in the blender. I'm wondering if, maybe, there really is something wrong with me."

"Dear Die-ary,: There's nothing terribley wrong with feeling lost, so long as that feeling precedes some plan on your part to actually do something about it. Too often a person grows complacent with their disillusionment, perpetually wearing their 'discomfort' like a favorite shirt. I can't say I'm very pleased with where my life is just now... but I can't help but look forward to where it's going."

*from a JtHM before the comics and Carpe Noctem*

"HEEEY! I know you! I've seen you at shows with all those gossipy little idiots you seem to have been CLONED from!! I didn't recognize you without all the MAKEUP!!"

]]> ~Ruikurodai http://Ruikurodai.deviantart.com/journal/12875277/ http://Ruikurodai.deviantart.com/journal/12875277/ Mon, 07 May 2007 11:38:46 PDT . . . . . . . . ummm ............................................ . uhh
Yep.
I am thinking of making a new account and changing my name to that.I think it would be hilarious.Plus ,it would give me more excuses to quote british comedy.
Seriously. . .
I have alot on my mind and none of it is bad just requires a lot of my attention...which i don't have much of.I am a constant multi-tasker except for when i'm addicted to Dragon Quest 8...which I am btw.Of course if you've been reading my journal or talking to me you would already know this.
Me 21!?
HAH!
I'm probally really 17 and my 'rents are lying to me.After all ,t hey did wait until iw as 19 to tell me I might not be their kid.Yep , don't worry I'm not on weed.You read that right. I may not be their blood-related child.In my opinion..they're stuck with me xD.

]]> ~Ruikurodai http://Ruikurodai.deviantart.com/journal/12838610/ http://Ruikurodai.deviantart.com/journal/12838610/ Fri, 04 May 2007 10:27:05 PDT hmm lots of different colors.

2. What book are you reading now?
hmmm online journals should count!

Manga I'm currently reading:
lots of smackjeeves manga xD

3. What is on your mouse pad?
My hand!

4. Favorite board game?
Mouse trap! It's fun to set up.

5. Favorite smells?
hee-hee-heee nvm. *cough cough bare feminine skin cough cough good cogne on bare masculine skin cough cough*

6. What is the first thing you think of in the morning?
whoa..I gotta write stuff before I forget!

7. Favorite color:
rainbow!!

8. Least favorite color:
stuff that looks like things it shouldn't.Like baby poop.

9. How many rings until you answer the phone?
depends on how sleepy/busy I am

10. Future child's name:
Hmmm Hermes? xD or for a girl Medea

11. Chocolate or Vanilla?
mix! They taste gooood together.

12. Do you like to drive fast?
ehhh...inbetween?

13. Do you sleep with a stuffed animal?
used to. .smetimes still do.They're quite comforting!

14. Do you like thunderstorms?
Yeah!! Good excuse to 'hide' with someone you like.

15. What was your first car?
a cool Wayne's world like beige car..and than it got sold by my dad >_<...RAWR!

16. What is your sign?
Scorpio.. . *snick snicker*

17. Do you eat the stems of broccoli?
YUM!

18. If you could have any job what would it be?
a manga ka

19. If you could have any color hair what would it be?
alabaster?

20. Is the glass half full or half empty?
depends on how thirsty I am.

21. What is your favorite movie?
GOREY ONES. .or really good anime ones?

22. Do you type with your fingers on the right keys?
sometimes?

23. What’s under your bed?
The third Dimension

24. What is your favorite number?
3 or 7

25. Favorite sport to watch?
sumo wrestling!.....or women playing soccer. . .

26. Your single biggest intense pain?
My parents complaining to me about eachother.I tell them to talk to eachother ,but their constant excuse is 'Aww they won't listen'.I think if they duked it out reall good things would be better.Also i'm not too happy with my brother not seeming to get any better.i wish we could really do more stuff like a regular bro and sis. ._. There is so much iw ould love to show him.We would have alot of fun. There isn't much we can do together right now though.

27. Person most likely to respond?
none ;_;...as usual....xDD well maybe someone will!

28. Person you sent this to who is least likely to respond?
dunno?

29. Ketchup or mustard?
MUSTARD.

31. Hamburger or hot dog?
Depends.If the burger is near burnt than YES.If the hotdog is near burnt than YES.

32. Favorite season?
Fall.

33. The best place you have ever been?
On a house boat.Watching the water was nice at the dock.yes. .if tha trboat would've been away from that dock i would have panicked

34. What is your screen saver?
nothing. xD

35. What is your favorite fast food place?
Taco Bell

36. What is your favorite breed of dog?
Hmm Doberman pinscher

37. Your nicknames?
Rui,Ren,Ne-ne...*call me that and I'll never speak to you again until i'm over it*,Lovely,Hershey's kisses..don't..ask.,Squee,etc etc..I have alot.

38. Have you ever been kissed by the opposite gender?
yeah...sometimes it's good ,sometimes it's not.

39. What annoys you the most?
ASSHOLES..in general.

40. What’s your crush's name?
Hmm..now do i have a crush...dunno?

41. What’s your best friend’s name?
Tai,Rose,Leon ,and Teri

42. Which celebrity annoys you the most?
BETTE MIDLER.

43. What type of music do you dislike the most?
COUNTRY.I HATE COUNTRY.HAAAAATTTEEEEE!!! >:[

45. What is currently on your wrist?
a gold and a blue bangle

46. Okay, If you and one other person could be alone on the entire planet, who would you choose?
Umm dunno. . .guess I'd be alone. I think being alone with Tai or Teri would be fun.We could just sit and talk forever.I really never thought about it though

47. Are you a righty or a lefty?
Righty! ^^

48. What's your favorite tv show?
anything that makes me laugh or makes me drool for any positive reason.

49. If you could make-out with any cartoon character, who would it be?
LMFAO. . .uhhhh...wow..whooo toughie here.Uh...just on... ]]> ~Ruikurodai http://Ruikurodai.deviantart.com/journal/12814728/ http://Ruikurodai.deviantart.com/journal/12814728/ Wed, 02 May 2007 11:14:37 PDT
So mit anderen Worten.. Ich bin im klaren und sollte fortsetzen zu tun, was ich jetzt und auch ... anders tue als, was sie zurzeit für mich jetzt tun; sie können nichts sonst *laughs* tun
Ich gab den Tag trampend sobald zum Terminal aus, den Bus zum Wal-Markt über vom Krankenhaus in Raleigh reitend, und eine Fahrt nach Hause mit der Tante Patsy fangend. Es machte Spaß, ich schätze. Ich kam aus dem Haus heraus. Mein Vati war ziemlich verrückt.

Alles in allem denke ich, dass wir gerade froh waren, Weg von der Langeweile zu sein. Es entlässt mein Baby-Gesicht und Charme-Arbeiten gut in der Stadt *laughs wickedly* vielleicht ich bin die 'Blicke süß und reizend; aber ist wirklich ein schlechter kleiner Betrüger' ANyways es arbeitete, und trotz all dessen war ich zu einem T.So ehrlich, der es ist, wie heute ziemlich viel gewesen ist. Oh und liebe ich, auf Deutsch zu schreiben. Bedanken Sie sich bei Gott für on-line-translators.they unterrichten mich so viel.





TRANSLATION PLEASE!:

I went to memphis to day ,only to learn that there was no need for it.I was told before it was even time for the appointment that since there is no bus in Millington there was nothing they could do other than exempt me from all programs they were originally thinking about me being apart of.I stillg et to keep the benefits yada yada...blah..blah.

So in other words..I'm in te clear and should keep doing what i'm doing now and also...other than what they are currently doing for me now ;they cannot do anything else.*laughs*
I spent the day hitchhiking once to the terminal,riding the bus to Wal-mart across from the hospital in Raleigh,and catching a ride home with Aunt Patsy.It was fun ,I guess.I got out of the house.My dad was being quite cranky.

All in all I think we were just glad to be way from Boredom.It turns out my baby face and charm works good in the city *laughs wickedly* maybe I'm the 'Looks sweet and adorable ; but is really a wicked little trickster' ANyways it worked and despite it all I was honest to a T.So that's how today has been pretty much.Oh and I love writing in german.Thank god for online translators.they teach me so much.

]]> ~Ruikurodai http://Ruikurodai.deviantart.com/journal/12752443/ http://Ruikurodai.deviantart.com/journal/12752443/ Fri, 27 Apr 2007 08:45:33 PDT "Girls, all I really want is girls
And in the morning it's girls
Cause in the evening it's girls


I like the way that they walk
And it's chill to hear them talk
And I can always make them smile
From White Castle to the Nile"


I could care less what else happens today...I just found out one of the sexiest imaginary things around is a girl.
I am needless to say on rainbow cloud #99!!

Doggy. . .ohhh. . .Doggy. . .*drool drool drool*
I swear...
Anyways this is about Doggy

Dog

Pronounced: Dawg
Alias: Doggy, Cerebus
Human Age: 18
Death Age: 32
Sex: ?
Bio: If Bird is the right hand of God, Dog must be the left
hand of Satan! Also known as Cerebus, Dog is in charge
of protecting the gates of Hell, along with a whole lot of
other tasks that (most likely should) belong to Sonny. (Why is Dog the left hand? Cause Todd demands to be the right, haha!)

She is a character of my friend Hani's on [link]
I am in love with Doggy!! Of course I love Teri more ,but you know. . .my fursona IS a dog afterall. ; )

"I beleive in miracles...since you came.. you Sex-ay thing!"

]]> ~Ruikurodai http://Ruikurodai.deviantart.com/journal/12728749/ http://Ruikurodai.deviantart.com/journal/12728749/ Wed, 25 Apr 2007 10:28:09 PDT I just need to vent a bit.

Hmm nice song..and it suits my inner mood.
Yeah...inner..not that happy joyous facade you see me wear like a favorite t-shirt each day.
Maybe it's because i don't want you to see me anymore..see what I really feel or am.
I miss my ex-girlfriend like mad ,but we'll probally never be together again.I'm too poor for that.Yeah..whoo..I'm single..again.Oh no..I'm not bitter..why do you ask!?And don't start lecturing me about being negative.I need to vent.I'm having to fight with the government..not for my sake..cause I could care less really ,but for my folks and brother.It's not like someone is going to say "Oh hey Renee' guess what? I'm gonna drop you off at Palm Harbor ,Fl!"
yeah....
Fucking right. . .it's so sickening ironic that this would happen again.Why do i keep fighting fate when every relationship ends this way?
Know what sucks...I can look at her pretty clever face in my other journal and feel a nice hard choking lump of regret everytime I see it.I have to wonder what it would be like to not have to worry about distance and know I can walk over and hug her anytime I want.To know Ic an be there and make her happy for as long as life grants us choosing to do so.
Well..pretty thoughts won't do any good. . not unless I get a freaking break already.
Know what else?
[THIS DOES NOT CONCERN ANYONE IN PARTICULAR,SO DO NOT FEEL THAT I AM MEANING YOU..IF IMEANT YOU IWOULD SAY IT.]
I'm tierd of trying to cheer up people,be there for people,and be kind when all i get is a lost cause,I know noone really asks for it.But look you asswipes! If i didn't give a fuck I wouldn't be trying to make you happy.It's because Ic are about you and want to see you happy that I try.I don't hate you..I really wish though you'd just say fuck off if you didn't want me around.Don't patronize me..I'd rather have harsh cruel honesty than that shit.I mean..at least we could talk it out and I could figure out what i'm doing wrong.I get enough patronizing from the outside world than to get it from the people I love.

I'm. . sorry I just need time to deal with this.I love you guys okay?


Born in a Burial Gown Lyrics - Cradle of FIlth-

Sibilant and macabre
Walpurgis sauntered in
Skies litten with five-pointed stars
The work of crafts surpassing sin
As She graced Her window ledge
- An orphaned gypsy nymph
This issue of the forest's bed
Skin flushed with sipped absinthe -
Her eyes revealed, as Brocken's peak
Tried once concealing Hell
A snow white line of divine freaks
In riot, where they fell...

The circus lurches in, a ring of promised delight
For seven days and seven festival nights
What wicked wonders lie within the comfines
Of the panther's den

She watches from a maypole, on the tip of Her tongue
The restless spirit of Christmas to come
A Gretel sick of merely sucking Her thumb
Than gingerbread men

Spawned scorned, abhorred by the aerial
She was the light of the world going down
War-torn, forlorn and malarial
She was found
Born in a burial gown

Unloosed, the chain of Her god-given cross
Seduced, now pagan ribbons swathe Her repose
In a carnival of souls sold and similarly lost

Too many decades misfit and mislaid
In innocence, a tender legend of prey
Parades Her second coming, now they're running afraid

Spawned scorned, abhorred by the aerial
She was the light of the world going down
War-torn, forlorn and malarial
She was found
Born in a burial gown
She was born
Born in a burial gown

Now She moves with a predator's guile
Beyond the firelit circle of life
She soothes your cold heart a while
Then matches its beat, synching in with a knife
She wrestles Her dreams with a delicate ease
Espied by Her cross on the wall
And should She awake, through embrace or mistake
She would take Jesus
Blessed foot forward and all...

Sibiliant and at last
The circus crawled away
With another lover in its arms
Dancing on Her grave...

Born!
Born forlorn
Born in a burial gown
She was born
Born forlorn
Born in a burial gown!

]]> ~Ruikurodai http://Ruikurodai.deviantart.com/journal/12430008/ http://Ruikurodai.deviantart.com/journal/12430008/ Mon, 02 Apr 2007 11:53:27 PDT Joy to the flipp'n world..I tried not to go insane over it ,but dimmit..I luffs Final Fantasy!!!
Oh and DQ8 is a biitch to play ,but it's still fun.I love a fun challenge! *cheers madly*

I love love love love love Baltheir. . .!!!! and I <3 <3 <3 <3 Angelo form DQ8. . .and probally a bunch of other random guys lmao.
As far as art goes..I do what If eel..let's levae it as that shall we?
lmao

]]> ~Ruikurodai http://Ruikurodai.deviantart.com/journal/11811173/ http://Ruikurodai.deviantart.com/journal/11811173/ Wed, 14 Feb 2007 08:21:51 PST
things you need:
A mic
Audiacy (the link to download it is on the TVKS news page) [qte]

I would've loved to be able to have done it *cries* I don't have the equipment though. . ._.;

Here is a link to who I would've been voicing:

[link]

I would've been voice acting the girl Kitten.

So sad! Ic an't do it though . . .

Happy V-Day anyways though! This really made my day already!!! ^__^

]]> ~Ruikurodai http://Ruikurodai.deviantart.com/journal/11384245/ http://Ruikurodai.deviantart.com/journal/11384245/ Wed, 10 Jan 2007 08:39:40 PST
2. Maturity:As quoted by Wonka "A little nonsense now and than is relished by the wisest men" of course intellect would be a major plus too ^_~

3. A nice smile: So cute. . .a real attraction

4. Power: A little strenght never hurts.

5. Water: Gettin' wet! XDDDDDD

6. Physical touch: You know what? Just a light touch from a fingertip can make your head spin. . I should know. . ; D

7. Confidence: Confidence helps. . Gaining confidence together and than learning to fly solo. . that is a good experience.

8. Collars: Wow. . .so many things come to mind. . .and they are all sizzling. . I love collars. .I'd wear one any day. . and I always have a fetish for leading people around by one. . of course I'd like to be lead around as well. . ; D

9. Sound: a beating heart is so precious. . and it means so much to have someone so at ease around you that they let you hear their heart beat ,their breathing ,just the little sounds that let you know it's real.

10. Writing:Intelligence is SMEXY!!!!! I love poetry and stories and songs. . .it makes me get all warm and fuzzy not to mention thoughful.

11. Health:Health is good.I understand staying healthy can be difficult ,but seeing someone doing good healthwise is a plus.

12. Protective: I am protective ,but not possesive.A watchful eye is great just not a smothring pesence.

13. Romance: I am a big romantic ,traditional and non-tradional. . .example: Poetry and flowers with long night-time walks. Non-traditional:slaughtering things on video games and biting. .hee hee

14. Strength: Bravery and strenght are amazing.Strenght can be attained from a weakness.

15. Canines: So cute! Tey are so loyal and friendly ;such roly-poly bundles of love! o^^o

16. Felines: Intelligent and beautiful.A perfect example of elegance.

17. Scent: Mmmmmm sweet smell of warm delicious flesh. .hair. . *sighs*

18. Tomboys:So cute and hot. . .Nothing wrong with a little toughness in a lady ^_~

19. Masculinity: It's good. .I like chivalry be it from a man or woman ^_~.I practice it myself as well ^_^

20. My mate:
This is her:
[link]
Wonderful ,She really makes me feel hyper and happy.If I was a dog wagging my tail. . it probally would have flew off by now.Things are going slow and smooth.I enjoy the speed of it. .I get to know her more and more.She also has time to get to know me and she doesn't have to feel scared or rush.I just want her to know that I care for he and about her.I want her to happy no matter what.Sure ,she makes my heart thump ,but she doesn't make me feel stressed.I hope that I make her feel happy as well.I don't feel scared are trapped.I feel at ease and peaceful.Time gives me the chance to watch this grow like a much adored flower.

]]> ~Ruikurodai http://Ruikurodai.deviantart.com/journal/10888453/ http://Ruikurodai.deviantart.com/journal/10888453/ Wed, 29 Nov 2006 09:07:42 PST Hmmm I guess 17 so I couold finish highschool. *sighs*

2) Where were you when 9/11 happened?:
In the living room watching the news.


3) What do you do when vending machines steal your money?:
I think about kicking them and than i picture myself being squished to death 0_0;;


4) Do you consider yourself kind?
Umm I guess so. . .but really I just consider myself weird ^^


5) If you HAD to get a tattoo, where would it be?:
^_^ Already have one on my back and the next will be wings of some sort or a reaper on my shoulder blades or between them ^_^


6) If you could be fluent in any other language, what would it be?:
German or Japanese


7) Do you know your neighbours?:
Sometimes I think i'd rather NOT know my neighbors. .they are rather. . strange. .0_0;;


8) What do you consider a holiday?:
I have no job. . everyday is a freaking holiday. .probally why i don't get excited about them anymore -_-


9) Do you follow your horoscope?: *sings Weird Al*

10) Would you move for the person you loved?:
I would try my best to be as near to them as I could ^_^


11) Are you touchy feely?:
*whistles innocently* Ummm . . .no


12) Do you believe that opposites attract?
Depends on how 'opposite' the two individuals are.


13) Dream job?:
Getting to work with Robot Chicken or making comics/cartoons like Jhonen Vasquez


14) Favorite channel(S)?:
cartoon network,TechTV,VH1,ABC Family*only be cause of 'Whose Line is it Anyway?'*.Comedy Centreal,and *Thanks to Galadrex* the 'gay' channel w00t!


15) Favorite place to go on weekends?:
Parks,woods,and if I could pick I'd like to go to Florida *winks at a certain person*


16) Showers or Baths?:
Both ,but mostly showers


17) Do you paint your nails?:
When I feel like it.


18) Do you trust people easily?:
I still trust people a good bit ,but not as much as I used to.


19) What are your phobias?:
heights,deep water,and Oompa Loompas


20) Do you want kids?:
I used to think so ,but I'm not sure now


21) Do you keep a handwritten journal?:
Yeah actually I do and I hide it well ^_^


22) Where would you rather be right now?:
In Florida. . .*daydreams*


23) Heavy or light sleeper?:
Depends


24) Are you paranoid?:
When i'm lacking sleep a piece of hair on my shoulder can make me jump and scream


25) Are you impatient?:
depends if the situation is worth getting impatient about *shrugs*


26) Who can you relate to?:
Nerds,dorks,geeks,Freaks,artists,bookworms,and assorted others ^^

27) How do you feel about interracial couples?:
Got no problem with it.

28) Have you been burned by love?:
Too Many Hugging Times to Count ,but I'm still stupid enough to keep trying ^_^


29) What's your main ring tone on your cell?:
If I had one it would be something really awkward like theBarney song lmao

30) What were you doing after midnight last night?:
Play Star Ocean 3


31) What did the last text on your mobile phone say?: it would probally say something inappropriate or violent ^^


32) Whose bed did you sleep in last night?:
Mine ,but umm. . know what? Never mind


33) What color shirt are you wearing?:
Black!


35) Name three things you have on you at all times?
glasses,id,and flesh!

36) What color are your bed sheets?:
some weird print lol


37) How much cash do you have on you right now?:
Umm $0.30?


38) What is your favorite part of the chicken?:
The breast! ^_^


39) What's your favorite town/city?:
Well, I kinda like Memphis I guess.


40) I can't wait till:
I see Nijrid!

41) Who got you to join myspace?:
Some weirdo I would like to see dropped on a pike for my amusement ^^


42) What did you have for dinner last night?:
MeatLoaf!!! >D YESH!!


43) How tall are you barefoot?:
5'4?


44) Have you ever smoked heroin?:
What?


45) Do you own a gun?:
I wish *dreams of one day owning a sawed off shogun*


46) What do you prefer to drink in the morning?: cocoa,tea,coffeee,or juice?

47) What is your favourite weapon to... ]]> ~Ruikurodai http://Ruikurodai.deviantart.com/journal/10878496/ http://Ruikurodai.deviantart.com/journal/10878496/ Tue, 28 Nov 2006 11:42:00 PST I sense emotions and moods way to easily at times.

Sometimes its great and other times it makes me sad.

]]> ~Ruikurodai http://Ruikurodai.deviantart.com/journal/10592128/ http://Ruikurodai.deviantart.com/journal/10592128/ Thu, 02 Nov 2006 10:52:43 PST I finally got around to being able to upload the tat pix.I hope yu guys like them.heh.I'm in a *as you can see lol* affectionate and pleasant mood today.The funny thing is I want to play a game where I can kill lots and lots of stuff.Apparently it doesn't matter what mood I'm in killing is fuuuuun. muhahahah.
Okay, so the ob search will be ontinued next week because I have stuff at home to sort out ^_^
I wish you all well and I luv you guys ^_^

~Rui~

]]> ~Ruikurodai http://Ruikurodai.deviantart.com/journal/10536050/ http://Ruikurodai.deviantart.com/journal/10536050/ Sat, 28 Oct 2006 09:45:58 PDT
Okay so on a cool note I got a tattoo! *feels so happy she explodes into sugar-flavored confetti*
I'll be uploading pictures as soon as I can get them.If I could bend over backwards and take them my self I think I would ^^.

I might be moving to Texas soon ,but alas. .I do not know. . .Growing up is a big fat pain in my arse. *blinks at how she said that* umm anyways. . I'm embaressing myself somehow ,so maybe I should shut up ^^

*waves*

]]> ~Ruikurodai http://Ruikurodai.deviantart.com/journal/10216128/ http://Ruikurodai.deviantart.com/journal/10216128/ Thu, 28 Sep 2006 14:44:43 PDT [link]
Well I'll be gone Oct-15 for a delightful party and I hav'nt found out about my costume yet.I think I'll be something dead and married. . .like a corpse bride?
lol Well I'll figure it out and who knows? I might post a picture ,eh?
Hmm I feel a tad bit melancholy today *did I spell that correctly??*
I'm not depressed or anything I guess it's the feeling of calming and hum-drum that only Autumn can usher in at times I suppose.
I am also working on more projects. . .even a special gift for Galadrex.Which btw I am also stuck on sadly.All these barriers bore and annoy me . . grrr.
Sorry I'm being an angsty monkey [link] I'll keep you updated as much as possible.Hopefully I'll have cool fun news soon.
Talk to you later~

Quote of the Day: 'Kokuyo[demon]:He grabbed one of God's messengers!" Hisui[angel] : "Once you think you've seen it al. . ."

]]> ~Ruikurodai http://Ruikurodai.deviantart.com/journal/10061533/ http://Ruikurodai.deviantart.com/journal/10061533/ Wed, 13 Sep 2006 15:23:10 PDT [link]

The above is my thread asking for advice about my idea for a vampire anime/manga

and below here is where to find some good pics straight from the anime itsself if you need to do research [link] ]]> ~Ruikurodai http://Ruikurodai.deviantart.com/journal/10051968/ http://Ruikurodai.deviantart.com/journal/10051968/ Tue, 12 Sep 2006 16:19:24 PDT
Normally I would be pretty upset about this ,but. . .now I'm just worried. . .
Dammit. . .Lion where are you everyone is looking for you. . . . again. .well I hope he is okay. . .I'm going home soon. . . ]]> ~Ruikurodai http://Ruikurodai.deviantart.com/journal/10049862/ http://Ruikurodai.deviantart.com/journal/10049862/ Tue, 12 Sep 2006 12:40:44 PDT [link]

My dragon name and color is:
Itrenore the Ice Breather (Yellow Dragon)

Cat-Being name is:
Dinene Battledusk

so-called real name in japanese is:中村 Nakamura (center of the village) ??? Michiko (beautiful wise child) in other words its probally Nakamura Michiko or Michilo Nakamura

Damned hippie name lol:
Aquamarine Mariana and Peace Birchwood

Very british name:Margaret Chamberlain *Call Me Margey ^_~*

Midevil Dark Elf, Orc, and other races names :Jeneth Lonilo

vampire name is: Elizabeth Breedlove * Call Meh Lizze'*

weird name isrincess with a Mind of Pewter

Pornstar name is :Horny Price *roflmfao*

Angel/Demon name:Huriloneziel

Holloween Town name is: Marny

FF12 name/ race generator: Penelo Rebe

cyber punk name:Cyberer BioHazzard Build 1.0

R U Gay: It said I was lying and that I am gay >_
Emo name is: deamond illusions ]]> ~Ruikurodai http://Ruikurodai.deviantart.com/journal/10010453/ http://Ruikurodai.deviantart.com/journal/10010453/ Fri, 08 Sep 2006 15:23:33 PDT
My ex is going to have a Baby and I'm psyched.
We beleive it might be a girl ,but I dunno.I think her name will be Teresa Isabelle.If so, her nickname is Izzy. . .lol.It ttly reminds me of Digimon.I'm a little worried about her though.She isn't happy quite as much in her current realtionship with the baby's daddy.I suppose in a situation like this though you might have to put aside your true sexuality.I wish I could do somehting about it ,but sadly I can't.She knows how I've felt how in some very small way I still feel,but she knows that I would never want to be involved in her life that way again if it meant really hurting her.

I'll help her still of course.We started out friends and friends we will be.Besides I've gotta cute neice or nephew ^_^.I'm a kick-arse baby sitter.Well, umm this little play called 'life' keeps getting a more and more interesting plot as it moves along.I swear everyday I live is like some kinda tv show.lol.

Lets just observe and see what happens! ]]> ~Ruikurodai http://Ruikurodai.deviantart.com/journal/9998976/ http://Ruikurodai.deviantart.com/journal/9998976/ Thu, 07 Sep 2006 13:42:03 PDT Also have you ever noticed that you feel like a complete idiot and wonder why you even really care for a person?

Yeah.

Thats me right now.
I feel stupid,slightly hurt,and a bit angry right now with a certain person.I feel bad for feeling like this ,but sadly I still do.I walked ALL over freaking Millington with my friends after being told to meet this person at a certain place.
They are not there.
Y'know they COULD"VE called and said 'Well hey I hav;'nt seen so&so for a while and I wanna hang out with them' ,right?
No.
we are left wandering around thinking maybe that person was looking for us ,but NO.
There they are sitting there with someone else when the could've said *I quote*Sorry I want to hang with someoneelse*end quote*
We walk up there wait about oh I DON"T KNOW 15 or 20 minutes to get an answer.
*I quote from a friend*I don't know I MAY hang out with you later. . . IF I feel like it*end quote*
That really stung.I don't fucking care IF I AM ho-bagging.
The most fucked up thing is REALLY unfourtunatly. . .I have an 'attraction per se'' to this person.-_- I really hate how I can just set myself up for falls like this I really do.I feel like shit right now and quite frankly I don't think I care if this person sees this or not.

Look I know we just hanged out yesterday ,but he wanted to maybe hang out today. . .I did'nt know though.My other friend was taking forever getting ready. . .and well it boils down to the simple fact of.

He could've said "No I don't want to hang out today.'
It really would'nt have been so bad ,and in fact. . . I would'nt have cared.

It's also only been maybe a month since my breakup with the first true love of my life. . .and this well this just did'nt help i guess. . .I can't really help thinking that his is all my fault though. . . . somehow. . .I dunno. . . .God. . .where the Hell is a Vodka when you need it!

Sorry for the bull. . .I just REALLY had to let it out. ]]> ~Ruikurodai http://Ruikurodai.deviantart.com/journal/9938505/ http://Ruikurodai.deviantart.com/journal/9938505/ Sat, 02 Sep 2006 08:41:43 PDT I finally got a pic up.It's no regular pic either!
It s a gift for my dear friend Rose!!
I really hope she does like it.
I am currently surfing the net and stuff.Nothing much serious going on at the moment I'm afraid.lol ]]> ~Ruikurodai http://Ruikurodai.deviantart.com/journal/9929548/ http://Ruikurodai.deviantart.com/journal/9929548/ Fri, 01 Sep 2006 11:56:30 PDT I'm ok. . .I got some kind virus or something and its driving me nuts!!
lol
I'll be fine though.Now that I don't have a bleh. . bf around. .ic an concentrate on some important things ^_^ ]]> ~Ruikurodai http://Ruikurodai.deviantart.com/journal/9532530/ http://Ruikurodai.deviantart.com/journal/9532530/ Sat, 29 Jul 2006 11:18:56 PDT Yeah
That is me right now. [this too I think >> ]
<< That is what I want to do to my 'bf'.
This >> is what I AM doing about it. . .and yes my facial expressions DO get that pathetic. . .
with him its always the >> . . .and I'm always like >> on the inside ,but I try to be all like >> .
Oh I'm on a break with him. . .I've done nothing wrong except do everything to make him happy so apparently everything IS my fault GAH!! LMAO
Oh one bright point today. . .THIS IS MY FAVE EMOTI!!



AHHH I luuuuvv it!!

umm newhos. . .l8r ]]> ~Ruikurodai http://Ruikurodai.deviantart.com/journal/9467555/ http://Ruikurodai.deviantart.com/journal/9467555/ Sun, 23 Jul 2006 11:57:24 PDT Current Location: Millington/Memphis, TN
Eye Color: hazel/changes with mood
Hair Color: dirty blonde
Height: 5'4?
Right Handed or Left Handed: Right
Your Heritage: german,french,Cheerokee,and Irish. . .maybe jewish?
The Shoes You Wore Today: sandels that really need to be thrown away because I can see through them XD
Your Weakness: I'm not telling!
Your Fears: umm oompa loompas.. . . .really. .I'm not kidding. . .
Your Perfect Pizza: shrimp,chicken,olives,peppers.pineapple,onions,sauteed tomatos,all types of cheese.
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: find a good job,find a good person to date,do better art,find out more about my self I guess that is it?
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger:^_^

Thoughts First Waking Up: Oh god, *grumble* I'm awake NOOO!!
Your Best Physical Feature: Lion says "your sexiness' XDDD
Your Bedtime: when I pass out or someone hangs up on me for falling asleep on the phone
Your Most Missed Memory: a little boy I iked when I ws 4?
Pepsi or Coke: PEPSI!
MacDonalds or Burger King: McDonalds
Single or Group Dates: Single
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: Lipton,Baby!
Chocolate or Vanilla: Vanilla
Cappuccino or Coffee: cappuccino
Do you Smoke: NO!
Do you Swear: FUCK YES I DO
Do you Sing: you'll only know if I do if you catch me in the shower. . ..
Do you Shower Daily: yesh!
Have you Been in Love: Yes happily and yet regretfully. .
Do you want to go to College: Yes
Do you want to get Married: maybe. . .
Do you belive in yourself: a little
Do you get Motion Sickness: yes *barf*
Do you think you are Attractive: well a little I guess
Are you a Health Freak:borderlining!
Do you get along with your Parents: kinda
do you like Thunderstorms: yes XD!
Do you play an Instrument: keyboard,harmonica,recorder and spoons XD
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol: no dammit!
In the past month have you Smoked: thought about it. . NOT!In the past month have you been on Drugs: I wish sometimes
In the past month have you gone on a Date: umm I don't know really. . .
In the past month have you gone to a Mall: no...
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos: no.
In the past month have you eaten Sushi: NO! DAMMIT GIMME
In the past month have you been on Stage: I kinda wish
In the past month have you been Dumped: Yeah you could kinda say that. . .except a certain someone named Russ might be getting dumped for good pretty soon if he doesn't get his shit together!
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping: XD I wish!
In the past month have you Stolen Anything: umm I think maybe? mms from my mom
Ever been Drunk:YES!
Ever been called a Tease: hee hee maaaayybeee
Ever been Beaten up: kinda
Ever Shoplifted: when I was 2
How do you want to Die: in the snow at midnight
What do you want to be when you Grow Up: grow up? Who said I'm even grown up now? I dunno be a tattoo artist?
What country would you most like to Visit: Japan or Germany
---------------------------------------
what do you like In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Color: any.I love eyes *stares*
Favourite Hair Color: hmmm brunette,black hair,or red *drools*
Short or Long Hair: it depends on how it looks on them.
Height: tall is good or medium?
Weight: who cares as long as they're not a asshole with WAAAAY too much emotional baggage?
Best Clothing Style:leather,lace,pvc,etc
----------------
Number of Drugs I have taken: dunno? it is mostly prescription. . .
Number of CDs I own: around 20? *used to be 60. . .*
Number of Piercings: 2
Number of Tattoos: 0 for now....
Number of things in my Past I Regret: so many. . .and I know that there is so much more to come

Stolen from 'Lion' and 'Tiger' my gay bfs ^_~ ]]> ~Ruikurodai http://Ruikurodai.deviantart.com/journal/9384279/ http://Ruikurodai.deviantart.com/journal/9384279/ Sat, 15 Jul 2006 10:38:07 PDT
I feel bored. . .
My ear is hurting again too. . .damn ear. . .lol

So I'm currently working on a yuri [girlxgirl relationship thingy] and I'm stuck in a rut. . .it really is lacking in the passion department.It is quite depressing some how. *sighs*
I have a good character setup a good basic set up ,but thats about it right now.lol.

I would rather be doing graffiti art right now.I adore graffiti.That is probally why the police follow me sometimes if I have too much art stuff with me when I'm walking lmao.

Sooo umm I think I might kidnap lion today.I hope his mom did'nt bitch at him too much.Sometimes she REALLY pisses me off. Maybe I can kidnap when I get a place of my own.Just long enough for him to be able to save money up to go see his Tiger.Seeing him happy makes me happy ^_^.

So ummm yeeeaaahh last night was boring around 2 am.No good yaoi or yuri so far. . .so depressing.I had to abandon my bf for the night too -_-;;;

*I'm so dang clingy that its sad* lol XD

Anyways I'm gonna go ,maybe next time that I write I'll have some art to put up.In case noone knows I have one art piece in my scraps if you wanna look at it.

Well Guys,
Ciao
Rui ]]> ~Ruikurodai http://Ruikurodai.deviantart.com/journal/9321115/ http://Ruikurodai.deviantart.com/journal/9321115/ Sun, 09 Jul 2006 12:41:11 PDT ~Ruikurodai