http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:SJenkins&section=today deviantART RSS for by:SJenkins en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Tue, 22 Dec 2009 11:20:10 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://SJenkins.deviantart.com/journal/20827691/ http://SJenkins.deviantart.com/journal/20827691/ Sat, 04 Oct 2008 15:31:07 PDT
My point, though, is that every photographer or sight-seeing individual should be well aware of any rules, regulations, and laws regarding the photographing of statues, monuments or any other such buildings, people, plants or animals(even other works of art in a gallery) ESPECIALLY if it's in your own country and ESPECIALLY if it's regarding a national monument. and if you don't know, do some research. It's better to be safe than sorry.

That's my view on photography as far as regulations go.

Whether or not you think it's fair, the law is the law. If you want it to change, do something about it.

peace.


-shere` victoria

]]> ~SJenkins http://SJenkins.deviantart.com/journal/15579224/ http://SJenkins.deviantart.com/journal/15579224/ Mon, 19 Nov 2007 16:09:24 PST

hopefully it'll last and not be one of those "eh, I've had enough.. let's go watch a movie.." after two photos or so.


ha.



anyway.. I'm going to go shake my booty a little and set up for my shoot.



-shere` victoria
xx

]]> ~SJenkins http://SJenkins.deviantart.com/journal/15397467/ http://SJenkins.deviantart.com/journal/15397467/ Tue, 06 Nov 2007 19:27:44 PST

uhm. yeah. some inspiration would be a wonderful thing right now.




-shere` victoria
x

]]> ~SJenkins http://SJenkins.deviantart.com/journal/12874036/ http://SJenkins.deviantart.com/journal/12874036/ Mon, 07 May 2007 09:29:06 PDT

anyway.. to those of you who actually pay attention to the things I update and submit, I'm getting a new tablet so I'm going to have more manipulations up and better edited photographs. I'll be attending IUPUI in the fall to continue my photography major and hopefully learn more than I could ever have imagined.

and, like always- I wouldn't mind your thoughts/critique as it would help me grow and to figure out my personal style.

which is important.. extremely important.


anywho.. have a good day and try to enjoy the sunshine.



-shere` victoria

]]> ~SJenkins http://SJenkins.deviantart.com/journal/11788214/ http://SJenkins.deviantart.com/journal/11788214/ Mon, 12 Feb 2007 16:28:37 PST
today is my birthday.




so, in the name of... me, eat a cupcake or two.


or give the one you love a kiss and a hug.



-shere` victoria

]]> ~SJenkins http://SJenkins.deviantart.com/journal/10829502/ http://SJenkins.deviantart.com/journal/10829502/ Fri, 24 Nov 2006 00:17:25 PST currently: trying to figure things out.. failing miserably.
--


Thanksgiving wasn't horrible. I ate too much. but, that's a given. Uhm.. not much going on except for school. I shouldn't be up right now.. but, I am. he's not paying any attention to me.. and I seem to be stuck in a rut of some sort.


I'll be okay.


I've been working on photos all day/morning. That's all that I have to do. I should be spending quality time with a certain someone. but, he's playing his video games.. and here I am.. on the futon. talking to...whoever.


play euchre earlier. Indiana thing, I guess as I never played or even heard of the game until I moved here. I'm sweaty, gross.. and I feel lonely.





I may or may not be submitting more photos soon. that all depends on the way things are going.. or aren't going. understand?

good.




so much light in a dark room.. and here I am in the only corner that isn't illuminated.




good night,


-shere` victoria

]]> ~SJenkins http://SJenkins.deviantart.com/journal/10424081/ http://SJenkins.deviantart.com/journal/10424081/ Tue, 17 Oct 2006 14:10:07 PDT

I hope to have something good to show for it tonight.


Well, that's all from me for now.

Thank you.. and good night.





-shere` victoria

]]> ~SJenkins http://SJenkins.deviantart.com/journal/6431974/ http://SJenkins.deviantart.com/journal/6431974/ Tue, 06 Sep 2005 12:51:18 PDT
it was supposed to be my day off...but, this guy from work called me and asked me to trade shifts with him...so, i'll be going into work in about an hour and 30 minutes. yay. because i totally want to be there right now. but, then again...i really have nothing better to do with my time. which is mega-sad.


i really want to get out of here soon. i feel as though i'm trapped, however.


i hate that feeling. bleh.


i wish some things weren't so....impossible.


-shere` victoria ]]> ~SJenkins http://SJenkins.deviantart.com/journal/6400920/ http://SJenkins.deviantart.com/journal/6400920/ Fri, 02 Sep 2005 21:16:34 PDT
Super Typhoons in Okinawa..

Hurricanes in Mississippi, Alabama, and Louisiana..


it's weird.. how it hits everyone at once..

and we don't seem to know what to do.




i'm scared.

-shere` victoria ]]> ~SJenkins http://SJenkins.deviantart.com/journal/6352459/ http://SJenkins.deviantart.com/journal/6352459/ Sun, 28 Aug 2005 16:11:07 PDT Current Mood: i'm not feeling good..
Current Movie: The Breakfast Club
Currently: wasting away.
--

a guy i know told me that i'm going to be working at Macri's Deli for the rest of my life. why do people just say things like that out of nowhere? i don't understand it. he said that because i'm not jumping right into college like everyone else. but, he's always put me down. and after awhile, you start believing shit like that..

but, i'm trying to fight it.


sometimes i wonder..


How come Andrew gets to get up? If he gets up, we'll all get up, IT'LL BE ANARCHY!



-shere` victoria ]]> ~SJenkins http://SJenkins.deviantart.com/journal/6342886/ http://SJenkins.deviantart.com/journal/6342886/ Sat, 27 Aug 2005 13:44:54 PDT
maybe i'll get out and do something tonight....maybe i won't. *shrugs*




-shere` victoria ]]> ~SJenkins http://SJenkins.deviantart.com/journal/6338479/ http://SJenkins.deviantart.com/journal/6338479/ Fri, 26 Aug 2005 23:14:07 PDT Current Mood: guess i'm alright. . .
Currently: hating the idea of going to work in 8 hours.
--


so, i'm bored.. and i don't want to be up at 1 in the morning looking at a computer screen...but, i've got nothing better to do and i can't seem to keep my eyeballs shut. it's getting... bad. i slept until 1 in the afternoon...after i had gone to bed at 10 last night. and this kind of thing is worrying me. should it? i'm sick, i believe. so, nobody get near me.. *steps back*


i'm snot-nosed and i feel faint.


bleh...


-shere` victoria ]]> ~SJenkins http://SJenkins.deviantart.com/journal/6329396/ http://SJenkins.deviantart.com/journal/6329396/ Thu, 25 Aug 2005 22:14:13 PDT Current Mood: i'm not really sure. . .
Currently: downloading music...

--


well, it's almost Friday. i don't work tomorrow (Friday) which is nice.


i'll pretend that i'm wrapped in someone's arms tonight..


i wish i didn't have to pretend.


-shere` victoria ]]> ~SJenkins http://SJenkins.deviantart.com/journal/6312079/ http://SJenkins.deviantart.com/journal/6312079/ Wed, 24 Aug 2005 02:43:39 PDT








i'm in such pain... and i've got permanent marker all over my body. this sucks.



why am i so stupid?












you don't have to respond. in fact, only respond if you're disregarding any of my questions.


yeah..


-shere` victoria ]]> ~SJenkins http://SJenkins.deviantart.com/journal/6307083/ http://SJenkins.deviantart.com/journal/6307083/ Tue, 23 Aug 2005 13:48:04 PDT
when will it start?

















-shere` victoria ]]> ~SJenkins http://SJenkins.deviantart.com/journal/6301000/ http://SJenkins.deviantart.com/journal/6301000/ Mon, 22 Aug 2005 20:08:34 PDT
however, some need it, hardcore.



-shere` victoria ]]> ~SJenkins http://SJenkins.deviantart.com/journal/6293184/ http://SJenkins.deviantart.com/journal/6293184/ Mon, 22 Aug 2005 01:00:52 PDT

and that's all i'm going to say. because i'm so exhausted.

if it means anything.. have a nice day. because i'm going to try so hard to have a nice day today. it's already started out kind of bad. but, i think i'll be fine.


-shere` victoria ]]> ~SJenkins http://SJenkins.deviantart.com/journal/6282699/ http://SJenkins.deviantart.com/journal/6282699/ Sat, 20 Aug 2005 20:15:42 PDT
when will i have someone to wrap me up in their arms? when will i have this "love" thing everyone keeps talking about?


when will i escape?



i'm dying..

-shere` victoria

i need a good long hug.. perhaps, a cuddle...

it's been a long time since i've had a real hug. do they even exist anymore? ]]> ~SJenkins http://SJenkins.deviantart.com/journal/6282666/ http://SJenkins.deviantart.com/journal/6282666/ Sat, 20 Aug 2005 20:10:42 PDT

have you ever gotten into a spell..thinking that nothing you wanted would ever happen?

and if so, how did you get out of it?


is there any hope?




-shere` victoria ]]> ~SJenkins http://SJenkins.deviantart.com/journal/6266008/ http://SJenkins.deviantart.com/journal/6266008/ Thu, 18 Aug 2005 21:39:24 PDT
to love me.

really.
truly.
deeply.

love me.

when i'm crushed,
upset or sad.

when i've been good,
or even when i've been bad.

on days when it's storming.
or on days that it's sunny.

i just want someone to love me.
when it's cold outside.


to cuddle me up.
warmly.
tightly.
passionately.


please love me.

when i've got no more tears to cry.
when it's just you and i.

love me. please.


my lovely.
sweet.
boy.



-shere` victoria ]]> ~SJenkins http://SJenkins.deviantart.com/journal/6263641/ http://SJenkins.deviantart.com/journal/6263641/ Thu, 18 Aug 2005 16:32:53 PDT

and that's all i got.


i'm at the monroe county library. teehee.

i lurve books.



-shere` victoria ]]> ~SJenkins http://SJenkins.deviantart.com/journal/6259041/ http://SJenkins.deviantart.com/journal/6259041/ Thu, 18 Aug 2005 06:20:26 PDT ~SJenkins http://SJenkins.deviantart.com/journal/6256430/ http://SJenkins.deviantart.com/journal/6256430/ Wed, 17 Aug 2005 21:19:02 PDT
don't know what's going on in the rest of my world.. hopefully i'll know soon. hopefully..





-shere` victoria. ]]> ~SJenkins http://SJenkins.deviantart.com/journal/6241376/ http://SJenkins.deviantart.com/journal/6241376/ Tue, 16 Aug 2005 08:23:15 PDT
haha. i'm going to relax today. i have to go into work at 9:30. which is crazy crazy.. but, i'll never have to go in before that. which is hella awesome. and i'm still exhausted from last night.

i'm playing this really really mean trick on this guy...


okay..so here's the scenario..

there's this guy, Ryan. he's married and has a baby. he's 21 years old. and he calls me ALL THE TIME. he's been trying to cheat on his wife for a long time now with me and i keep telling him that it's wrong and that i don't like him like that and that i never will. he's cheated on his wife before...but, with a guy. anyway.. his friend, Benjamin who is also good friends with me, has asked me to mess with his head. Ryan works at Starbucks and always gives us free drinks...which is weird. i've never once asked for anything while we were there. but, anyway..back to the story.. Ben and I have started to act like we're sleeping together...(note: we are not sleeping together. Note: i'm not attracted to this man) so, last night.. me and a group of friends are hanging out with Ben at Starbucks and so Ben and I come up with this idea that we'll go tell Ryan that we're both leaving to go to his apartment....alone. little does he know, the group that i had been hanging around all night is also going to Ben's apartment with Ben and I. and so we tell him all of this and he gives us this wide-faced grin and we leave acting all flirty and stuff...

so, we get to his apartment and about an hour later...guess who calls......Ryan. so, Ben gives me this glare and everybody else in the room is definitely clued in as to what we are doing. SO.. everybody else in the room goes silent.

Ryan asks, "what are you doing?" Ben tells him that he's showing off his apartment. and Ryan asks who is all at his apartment....Ben tells him that it's only him and I. then he says into the phone, "hey, i'm tired, dude. i'm gonna get to bed.." then, I shout really loud like i'm in another room, "Ben, come back to bed!" in this really...uhm... tortured voice.. and without laughing or giggling....Ben says into the phone, "well i think i'd better get going, dude, seriously. i've got things to do.".. and Ryan says, "hey, i understand." and they're off the phone. as soon as he clicked the phone off, everybody is laughing so hard. it was awful. haha.


and that was the highlight of my night. i feel bad. but, this guy is married and has a kid. and it's gross. what kind of an asshole does that to a woman? i mean.. i wouldn't help a guy cheat if my life depended on it. and the sad thing about it is.. his wife knows that he calls me all the time. and she doesn't do anything about it. he calls me from her cell phone, from Starbucks and from his cell phone. and FINALLY, my parents answered my phone when he was calling and told him that i wouldn't have that cell phone anymore and that i don't have a phone anymore. and he hasn't called since. so, it worked. i'll never have to deal with him again. thank goodness.

Ben and I plan to mess with his head alot. it's just fun. because he gets angry. and i guess it's just payback for all the times that he's woken me up at 1 in the morning. asshole..

i would get so angry that i just wouldn't answer my phone. but, then i'd be wide awake...because i'm a light sleeper.


*sigh* it's all better now.

and i'm exhausted. i may go back to bed. who knows..

see you, kids.


-shere` victoria. ]]> ~SJenkins http://SJenkins.deviantart.com/journal/6232211/ http://SJenkins.deviantart.com/journal/6232211/ Mon, 15 Aug 2005 08:23:03 PDT
i'm just glad i have a job again. it's something to do to pass the time when i could be just sitting around and stuff. i'm excited. because i'll be learning new stuff. and i LOVE to learn.

i had a lovely dream last night. hehehe.

it was about someone really special to me. it was about HIM.

*covers mouth*


and with that said, i must go...


-shere` victoria. x x x x x ]]> ~SJenkins http://SJenkins.deviantart.com/journal/6227434/ http://SJenkins.deviantart.com/journal/6227434/ Sun, 14 Aug 2005 18:18:19 PDT Current feelings: temporary insanity
Currently: wishing i were somewhere else..

--


so, today was... pointless. nothing good came from it. i haven't really gone anywhere because my friends aren't in town. i kind of took that opportunity to relax and be lazy. however, i won't be lazy tomorrow. my first day at my new job. yesh. i'm a little excited because i've never cooked anywhere before. so, this is going to be a new experience. -hopefully a good one. however, i don't plan on staying there for a long time, at all....sadly. i'm just trying to save up a little. we'll see how things turn out.


anyway..my tummy hurts. i'm gonna go curl up in a ball and perhaps....play some tetris. because i'm obsessed...haha..


it's become an addiction..


-shere` victoria.
x ]]> ~SJenkins http://SJenkins.deviantart.com/journal/6220163/ http://SJenkins.deviantart.com/journal/6220163/ Sat, 13 Aug 2005 22:02:53 PDT Current Mood: hopeful.
Currently: awake.
--


so, today (saturday) i finally got a job. FINALLY. i'll be a cook at Macri's Deli. i'm SOOOO excited. i've needed income for about a month now. and yeah... anyway...so, i'll have something to do and i'll be getting paid for it. this is awesome.

and i get $7.25/hr. which is mega-sweet...seeing as i only got $6.77 at Lowe's...and Lowe's can lick my...


anyway...i should get some rest. gotta wait for a phone call from my new supervisor. yesh...

i need sleep, hardcore. i've been forgetting a lot of things lately. i'm losing it.....if i ever had it.


heh.
peace out, gangstas.



-shere` victoria ]]> ~SJenkins http://SJenkins.deviantart.com/journal/6203023/ http://SJenkins.deviantart.com/journal/6203023/ Thu, 11 Aug 2005 23:18:58 PDT Current Mood: yeah...
Currently: angry + hurt..
--

why is it so hard to tell me that you're ashamed of me?


that goes on a list of things i don't understand. that's a long list..



-shere` victoria. ]]> ~SJenkins http://SJenkins.deviantart.com/journal/6193312/ http://SJenkins.deviantart.com/journal/6193312/ Wed, 10 Aug 2005 23:49:23 PDT Mood: disgusted..
Listening to: Amsterdam- Coldplay
Reading: Valiant- Holly Black
Watching: Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

so, today was a reminder of just how pathetic some people are..

and of how stupid i am.


i'm really beginning to wonder if there are anymore REAL good people out there... there's a few that i can name..

it's sad that i actually have to wonder about things like this though.

and i wonder if things will go the way i want.. i guess only time will tell.


i was reminded of a really ugly, inconsiderate, unworthy, self-loathing, i'll throw everything i hate about myself at you, girl i once used to be friends with.. but, then i remembered what a real friend is...and it didn't bother me anymore. haha. funny how things turn out.


bitches..


i'm glad i dont have to deal with certain people anymore as long as i live.


it's too bad people like that will never change..



-shere` victoria

fucking stalkers.. ]]> ~SJenkins http://SJenkins.deviantart.com/journal/6146311/ http://SJenkins.deviantart.com/journal/6146311/ Sat, 06 Aug 2005 00:00:02 PDT Mood: i'm not really sure.
Listening to: we will become silhouettes- the postal service
Reading: Valiant- Holly Black
Watching: Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

well...that's odd. subscribed until August 11th. noticed that when i tried to submit a journal entry a couple of minutes ago and all these options appeared. i'm not really sure how it happened..

i won't be around this weekend. i'm going to a paintball tournament with my best friend and her fiance`. should be fun. yesh.. and i'll be gone until Monday morning, i believe. and i'm leaving in exactly 3 hours. and i've got to pack my stuff up. yay.

got a cute shirt today. yesh...polka dots.. black and white.

very very......................out of it right now.

but, i'm happy. hehe.


*lurves*

-shere` victoria

by the way..

people in Bloomington, IN simply cannot drive. i really do believe that college students should have a driving test before they enroll. because they're fucking idiots. almost got killed more than two times today. ]]> ~SJenkins http://SJenkins.deviantart.com/journal/6121767/ http://SJenkins.deviantart.com/journal/6121767/ Wed, 03 Aug 2005 11:01:26 PDT Current Mood: giggly.
Currently:

--

i feel like such a slob. i didn't get up until around 11am. and i'm still tired.

okay.. what happened to Gwen Stefani? has she lost it? she used to be mega-cool. and now she's just.....annoying....and old. am i missing something?

i mean...i know it's cool to like her because she's on her own and that's what you do when you're OLD (i guess)... but, geez... "this shit is bananas"? is that the new thing?

and don't get me started on the video to that song...

all i have to say is... if i hear that song again... so help me!!






-shere` victoria ]]> ~SJenkins http://SJenkins.deviantart.com/journal/6118340/ http://SJenkins.deviantart.com/journal/6118340/ Wed, 03 Aug 2005 00:32:48 PDT Current Mood: i'm pretty sure i'm alright.
Currently: half asleep/half awake.
--

so, it's 2:30 in the morning.. and i don't have much to do. i'm hoping i get this job i applied for a couple of days ago. i was supposed to know by yesterday if i have the job but the owner told me to call her just in case i didn't get a call. i guess she really wants me to work for her or something. i'll be making about $0.50 more than i did at my last job (Lowe's).. and i'll be around people who want to have fun. which is cool. i'll be cooking, which is fun to me..because i don't usually like to talk to a whole lot of people from Bloomington. mostly because they're big babies. and they're greedy. it's pathetic, really. but, i think i'll be dealing with a much warmer and friendlier crowd. which is cool. i won't be working there for a long time, atleast i don't plan on it. i need to get back on track here.

i haven't been working out a whole lot. i've just been drinking frappucinos from freaking Starbucks...and i'm getting fat.




i need to start working out again. it's rediculous. all i seem to do is eat.

i think i just need to get out of here, seriously. in a couple of months... that's where my head will be.

i wish.. i had SOMEONE to cuddle with..


-shere` victoria ]]> ~SJenkins http://SJenkins.deviantart.com/journal/6091743/ http://SJenkins.deviantart.com/journal/6091743/ Sun, 31 Jul 2005 17:34:52 PDT Current Mood: tired (i've been working out)
Currently: thinking about stuff.
--


Things I Wanna Do Before I Die (list):

- collect seashells(again)
- eat chocolate cake and not give a damn.
- drive around a place that i've never been.
- make new and longlasting friends.
- paint a self portrait. ( haha. sorry, couldn't help myself.)
- plant an entire field of daisies.
- get married in a field of daisies.
- go backpacking through Europe.
- kiss my love.
- see Saves The Day in concert.
- go to New York City.
- like what i'm looking at in the mirror.
- paint an entire room red.
- go floating down a river in an inflated tube.
- be loved.



when i rule the world, i'm gonna make everyone happy. even if it is just for a second.

a girl can wish, can't she?


-shere` victoria ]]> ~SJenkins http://SJenkins.deviantart.com/journal/6073290/ http://SJenkins.deviantart.com/journal/6073290/ Sat, 30 Jul 2005 00:10:16 PDT Current Mood: REALLY GOOD
Currently: trying to come up with a plan..
--


so, lately i've been EVERYWHERE. looking for a job to hold me over.. i have an interview on Monday at like...3:00 at Macri's Deli. that should be fun. ha. ha. ha. yeah.....

you know- mostly everyone i know who has a job is unhappy with their job. and they always tell me that that's what you have to do to make a living. but, i don't agree with that. i refuse. because i want to be happy doing whatever i do. i don't want to be unhappy and treated like crap just to make a few bucks here and there. it's stupid, and i won't do it.

one day, some day.. i'll be happy and i'll be just where i need and want to be.

hopefully that day will come soon. yes.


-shere` victoria ]]> ~SJenkins http://SJenkins.deviantart.com/journal/6043107/ http://SJenkins.deviantart.com/journal/6043107/ Tue, 26 Jul 2005 20:09:19 PDT Current Mood: i'm alright..
Currently: researching.

--


went to the library today. every tuesday is book sale Tuesday. so, they sell old books from the library itself. bought 3 books today. spent a meer $1.50. nice. and i checked out a couple of books as well. i'm pretty happy about the library card thing. it's nice. it's better than buying books. because you only read a book once, really. and then it sits atop a stack of books and never gets that attention again. it's kind of sad to think about. anyway.. i got a new lense cap for my camera. just a bit of advice to those of you who let your friends play with your camera.... DON'T LET YOUR FRIENDS PLAY WITH YOUR CAMERA!! because they'll end up breaking or losing something...like your LENSE CAP! bastages. makes me angry. but, anyway......yeah. had a GREAT pizza today....the best, i think. from Aver's. pesto + chicken= wonderful.

yesh.. food is great.

anyway... enough of me. tell me about yourself...



interesting..




well, off i go. until next time..


-shere` victoria


p.s. had a wonderful image in my head today. ]]> ~SJenkins http://SJenkins.deviantart.com/journal/6030428/ http://SJenkins.deviantart.com/journal/6030428/ Mon, 25 Jul 2005 12:52:54 PDT i'm working endlessly until i get what i crave.
i hang letters and poems and pictures that remind me of you.
then, i realize that i really am your slave.

there's this corner in my cave in which i curl up and turn out the light.
and in this darkness, i lovingly hold you, my make-believe prince, i hold you tight.

but, then i remember all the arguments and fighting,
suddenly, you're quickly taken from me.
and you push me away, until you're out of my sight.

you used to tell me that i'm beautiful.
you told me that i was fun.
you told me you'd never go away.
so, why must you run?

my cave is nothing but darkness now.
because the light cuts me deep, deep, deep, deeply.
i could stay here forever and dream to myself.
until i'm so-very sleepy.

-shere` victoria ]]> ~SJenkins http://SJenkins.deviantart.com/journal/5998782/ http://SJenkins.deviantart.com/journal/5998782/ Thu, 21 Jul 2005 19:49:30 PDT ~SJenkins http://SJenkins.deviantart.com/journal/5963149/ http://SJenkins.deviantart.com/journal/5963149/ Sun, 17 Jul 2005 21:59:59 PDT
words that describe me lately.



mean. bitter. cruel.

words that describe other people lately.



loving. sweet. perfect.

words that i once used to describe a relationship i had.



upset. alone. confused.

words that i hate to use to describe how i am.



hurtful. hateful. untrusting.

words that describe what i've turned into.



-shere`




what do you do to get rid of regret? ]]> ~SJenkins http://SJenkins.deviantart.com/journal/5917320/ http://SJenkins.deviantart.com/journal/5917320/ Tue, 12 Jul 2005 20:00:11 PDT I’d erase myself from here and from your memory.
I wouldn’t be obvious, I’d fade away slowly as I decay.

I would apologize for everything in a long, detailed letter.
Or maybe I would just go and let you forget me altogether.

I’d take everything back,
Every kiss, every word, every touch.
Because I know you never kept them close to you.
I knew you wouldn’t care very much.

I’ll disappear as the sun comes up in the sky.
And every night we spent together will be considered lies
Because they never existed to you anyway.
And history they will become.
And eventually, I won’t even be a person anymore.
Because eventually, you would have won.

-shere` victoria ]]> ~SJenkins http://SJenkins.deviantart.com/journal/5897872/ http://SJenkins.deviantart.com/journal/5897872/ Sun, 10 Jul 2005 19:38:21 PDT Current Mood: guess i'm okay..
Currently: getting ready to work out a bit..

--

yeah.. well, i don't get a day off until Thursday. it's wonderful. i thought today was Monday. so, yeah..that sucked. tomorrow is Monday and i work from 1:30 to 9:30. yay...............

atleast i'm working though. i suppose. i'm keeping busy until i disappear soon.

don't know where i'm going..

-shere` victoria ]]> ~SJenkins http://SJenkins.deviantart.com/journal/5867616/ http://SJenkins.deviantart.com/journal/5867616/ Thu, 07 Jul 2005 13:31:14 PDT Current Mood: bleh.
Currently: off from work. yesh.
--


today was.. productive.... ha. ha. ha. ..


and that's all i got.


-shere` victoria ]]> ~SJenkins http://SJenkins.deviantart.com/journal/5831391/ http://SJenkins.deviantart.com/journal/5831391/ Sun, 03 Jul 2005 18:37:06 PDT Current Mood: i feel gross..
Currently: thinking..
--

written December 19th, 2004


So I'll hang my head in despair between my legs and pretend that anymore, I don't care.
I'll wrap my arms around my legs and hide behind my hair.
I'll breathe in deeply and exhale as every tear I try to hold back rolls down my face.
I'll shake as I cry silently to myself
And I'll tell myself I hate this place.

I'll tell everyone I'm okay when secretly; I'm dying behind my closet door.
I'm pretty used to this routine, I've felt this all before.
I'll let the cold freeze the air I inhale into my unsteady lungs.
I'll exhale and if anyone hears me, I'll quickly bite my tongue.

I'll hold in every single word and I'll hold back and not be heard.

I'll squeeze my pillow close to my body and I'll hug it tightly as I pull myself together.
I'll slowly roll over and look out the window wishing I were the weather.
I'll wish I had power and control, I'll wish I could keep my heart- the one you stole.
I'll wish you were here to hold me close, I'll wish you were here to stay.
I'll hope that one day you'll be here to kiss me and hold me tightly, I'll wish my pain away.

And the next morning, when I wake up with my eyes shrunken with sorrow,
I'll hope to myself and wish and pray that everything will be different tomorrow.

-Shere` Victoria Hansell ]]> ~SJenkins http://SJenkins.deviantart.com/journal/5830943/ http://SJenkins.deviantart.com/journal/5830943/ Sun, 03 Jul 2005 17:28:52 PDT Current Mood: bleh..sunburnt. yesh..
Currently: ouching.
--

hmmm. went to Madison, In. today. was... stupid. took pictures, won't submit any. my dad thinks he owns my camera...which is stupid. i keep telling him not to touch it because it was so expensive and he won't pay for another one. and today, i trusted him to keep hold of it so that i could get a drink. and when i came back, he had loaned it to one of his buddies and let him go take pictures of racing boats. i was.. beyond pissed. ass..

i really need out of here... can't take much more of it, really. i'll go anywhere... seeing as i have nowhere to go. anywhere in the entire world. . . . yesh.

do do do do do do do do do do...

-shere` victoria ]]> ~SJenkins http://SJenkins.deviantart.com/journal/5824276/ http://SJenkins.deviantart.com/journal/5824276/ Sat, 02 Jul 2005 20:55:40 PDT Current Mood: hopeful..
Currently: Missing.. someone.
--


I wish to become something else,
But it seems as though i've already done so.
Without knowing, without permission,
My mind, my feelings, my actions have rebelled against submission.

I'm not that girl anymore.
I'm changing everyday.
And if you could reappear again,
my life would be okay.

That love..
That love that you so gave to me.
It still overwhelms me to no end.
Which is why i can't seem to forget
That love.. that love that you so gave to me.

Tell me what i can do, and i'll do it.
Because i'd do it for you.
I'd do anything for you.

I'll rip out my heart and throw it on the floor- if you wanted.
Why? I think i've told you before.
I'll swim across oceans and fight deadly, blood-hungry sharks
Just to get to you.
I'd do it for you.

I'll climb through spider webs, let you lick my teeth, let you walk all over me...

my prince..


i'd do it for you.




-shere` victoria ]]> ~SJenkins http://SJenkins.deviantart.com/journal/5805938/ http://SJenkins.deviantart.com/journal/5805938/ Thu, 30 Jun 2005 20:54:16 PDT Mood:
Currently:

--

when you plan to disappear again,
take me with you, please.

we'll disappear together,
we'll slip into darkness with ease.

i'll show you something you've never seen before.
i'll give you everything i have.

i'll keep giving and giving until i pass out on the floor.
i'll do anything and everything in my power to make you laugh.

i want to be wrapped in your arms,
protected from pain.
i want to kiss you until you're sick of my lips.
and you can tell me i'm insane.

but i've always loved you and i always will.
and everyday would be a thrill
if you would just take me back
and remind me of how to laugh.
just take me in and show me love.
you're the only one i ever wanted to be with.
tell me i'm the one and the only one i'll be.
tell me that you've missed me, tell me that you need me.
show me that you care, i hope you're still there.
and that i can be the only one.



-shere` victoria ]]> ~SJenkins http://SJenkins.deviantart.com/journal/5713745/ http://SJenkins.deviantart.com/journal/5713745/ Tue, 21 Jun 2005 12:11:56 PDT Current Mood:
Currently: getting ready for work.
--

so, alot has been on my mind lately. i don't really want to specify. just a few people from my past coming into focus....again. i don't like it, really. i wish nothing would have changed in the first place. sometimes i feel like i lose the very best things that happen to me.. and that i'm losing them without realizing just how important they are...until they're gone. and that really sucks. i'm so messed up right now. i wonder if things will ever change for the better.

so, i'm at the point where i want things to be better, but have no real way of taking the time to help this happen.

maybe one day i won't have to work so hard to get what i want...like most people, it seems..

beh, i don't know.

-shere` victoria ]]> ~SJenkins http://SJenkins.deviantart.com/journal/5684334/ http://SJenkins.deviantart.com/journal/5684334/ Sat, 18 Jun 2005 09:35:03 PDT Current Mood: tummy hurts. gawd..
Currently: getting ready for work.

--

hmm....yeah. so, i work today until closing. i hate closing. i really hate it. because i get so tired..

anyway...yeah...i just wanted to bitch.

have a nice day.

-shere` victoria ]]> ~SJenkins http://SJenkins.deviantart.com/journal/5654466/ http://SJenkins.deviantart.com/journal/5654466/ Wed, 15 Jun 2005 09:31:19 PDT Current Mood:
Currently: eating a fortune cookie.
--

Do not step on anyone on the way to the top.


i wasn't aware that the top is where i was going..


fooled me.


-shere` victoria ]]> ~SJenkins http://SJenkins.deviantart.com/journal/5630065/ http://SJenkins.deviantart.com/journal/5630065/ Sun, 12 Jun 2005 18:54:42 PDT Current Mood: sick, tired, lonely, and bored
Currently: waiting for laundry to be done..

--


so today really sucked. you never realize just how greedy people are until you work with them everyday. people will say pretty much anything and do pretty much anything to get money or to get things for dirt cheap prices. it's really sad. psychos.

what is this world coming to? not an end...just yet.

anyway..yeah....i have to be up early tomorrow morning for work and stuff.


ciao.

-shere` victoria ]]> ~SJenkins http://SJenkins.deviantart.com/journal/5596834/ http://SJenkins.deviantart.com/journal/5596834/ Thu, 09 Jun 2005 08:47:53 PDT Current Mood: bored..
Currently: hoping..

--


so...today i work until closing. i might not be back until like midnight, however. hanging out with a friend from work. yep yep. i'm so bored. i've been up for like 4 hours. and i've got nothing to do. and it's killing me.

i've got so much hope in me. i hope for the best. is that wrong?


-shere` victoria ]]> ~SJenkins http://SJenkins.deviantart.com/journal/5589413/ http://SJenkins.deviantart.com/journal/5589413/ Wed, 08 Jun 2005 13:15:29 PDT Current Mood:
Currently: downloading music...

--


so...yeah...i get paid Friday...might buy some new lenses and stuff for my baby. i'm naming it Frank.

yesh...


sorry, i'm weird..


hey Jane, get me off this crazy thing, cold love.


-shere` victoria ]]> ~SJenkins http://SJenkins.deviantart.com/journal/5583606/ http://SJenkins.deviantart.com/journal/5583606/ Tue, 07 Jun 2005 20:26:42 PDT Current Mood: so fucked up, i don't know where to begin.
Currently: trying to make a plan.. it's not working, however.
---


i really need to get out of here...i don't care where i go, as long as i'm gone...and nobody around here remembers me. that's all i want..

just to disappear.


i wish fortunes were real. but, i feel as though everything i want will never be. that's usually the way it goes anyway. i wish there was more holding up than what is falling down.

i wish a lot of things. wishing never got me anywhere.

i need a hug....among other things.



why are good friends hard to find?



-shere` victoria ]]> ~SJenkins http://SJenkins.deviantart.com/journal/5568449/ http://SJenkins.deviantart.com/journal/5568449/ Mon, 06 Jun 2005 09:15:39 PDT Current Mood: really not happy..
Currently: looking at my fortunes..

--

So, i've had chinese food....ALOT lately..

here are my fortunes:

Although it feels like a roller coaster now, life will calm down.

Including others in your life will bring you happiness.

A heavy burden is lifted with a phone message or letter.

Someone from your past has returned to steal your heart.


--

what would you think?


i think it's just more let downs. nothing good happens to me.

and when something potentially good does happen, it's quickly taken away.

just disregard this entry if you must.




-shere` victoria ]]> ~SJenkins http://SJenkins.deviantart.com/journal/5554750/ http://SJenkins.deviantart.com/journal/5554750/ Sat, 04 Jun 2005 20:05:03 PDT Current Mood: Tired..
Currently: uploading photos...still.
--


anyway..so, i work tomorrow and i'm off Monday. greatness. i may not be here Monday or Wednesday...but, i definitely won't be around the rest of the week. every chance i get, i'll try to keep everything up-to-date. i really hate being so busy.

it's 10:00...and i'm still up. *sigh*


-shere` victoria ]]> ~SJenkins http://SJenkins.deviantart.com/journal/5541925/ http://SJenkins.deviantart.com/journal/5541925/ Fri, 03 Jun 2005 11:40:21 PDT Current Mood:
Currently: looking for an apartment.. yeh..
--

it's funny how things turn out...and how things don't. everything seems to be...stable at the moment. not much is going on except for the fact that i haven't been getting to sleep until like 3 in the morning lately. people keep me up. and i've been hanging out with a couple of people from work. atleast i'm getting out, i suppose. but, it's taking away from stuff that i want to be around.

so, yeah... i make plans and they don't work out. but, i'm really hoping that my current plans will go to...eh...plan.

i'm looking for a place to stay until i'm on my feet. i don't know anyone, really here in Bloomington. so, i'm looking to live on my own. which will be interesting. i think i'll be fine. i'm looking for another job as well. so, this will be a key reason as to why i won't be on here much.

*if you want my email address, then send me a note or a comment. i usually check that more often than i check my notes on here.


-shere` victoria











]]> ~SJenkins http://SJenkins.deviantart.com/journal/5442842/ http://SJenkins.deviantart.com/journal/5442842/ Mon, 23 May 2005 20:48:32 PDT Current Mood: okay..
Currently: wondering why the hell i'm up so late..

--

so, tomorrow is the first of the last days of finals...which means that's 1 day closer to being away from Loogootee.

and, i have to go..because it's almost 11 and i can hardly keep my eyeballs open.

thanks for reading...until next time.

signing out,

-shere` victoria

p.s. i know what you're thinking.. ]]> ~SJenkins http://SJenkins.deviantart.com/journal/5409654/ http://SJenkins.deviantart.com/journal/5409654/ Fri, 20 May 2005 07:22:07 PDT
Current Music: All-Star Me- Saves The Day
Currently: at school and waiting to leave at 10:30.

--


So, today has been great, so far. i suppose..

i feel dirty. and i guess that makes sense because i haven't taken a shower in like....3 months. just kidding. it's only been a day, actually. but, i still feel really dirty. ANYWAY.. i'm taking pictures at my father's retirement ceremony today. so, maybe...if i have anything that is significant, i'll put them on here. some drunken pictures, perhaps. maybe...

haha. anyway..yeah. peace out, gangstas!

-shere` victoria.

]]> ~SJenkins http://SJenkins.deviantart.com/journal/5371326/ http://SJenkins.deviantart.com/journal/5371326/ Mon, 16 May 2005 07:28:03 PDT Current Mood:
Currently: wishing i could disappear...
--

yeh..



]]> ~SJenkins http://SJenkins.deviantart.com/journal/5336546/ http://SJenkins.deviantart.com/journal/5336546/ Thu, 12 May 2005 07:29:49 PDT Current Mood: Stressed out
Currently: in class and uploading photos for yearbook. yay..
--


i'm really busy lately. work, school, homework, sleep...all that good stuff that seems to take everything from me. bleh. so stressed out. i have so much to do and i have only 9 days to do all of this stuff. and it sucks. i graduate in 10 days...which is a little scary..because i'm overwhelmed with crap that should've been brought to my attention awhile ago. which sucks, but what can you do? anyway...i should've been uploading pictures all week but with my tight schedule and lack of time to myself, obviously i can't. but, i'm going to try to tonight seeing as it's my night off for the week. gosh..

i really need to get out of here. today sucks. people suck..

this whole town sucks.

bleh..


-shere` victoria


]]> ~SJenkins http://SJenkins.deviantart.com/journal/5262908/ http://SJenkins.deviantart.com/journal/5262908/ Wed, 04 May 2005 07:23:46 PDT

anyway.. just wanted to inform those of you who are reading this that i will have pictures on here very soon.

thanks,

-shere` victoria.


p.s. word to your mother.







]]> ~SJenkins