iloveyou

i told you i didn't want a cell phone because i knew itd lose it and it would be another reason for you to get mad. i didn't lose my key, its in my other jacket that i just didn't wear this morning. you told me to take that phone to school; don't tell me i shouldn't have. don't switch the tables and make it seem like im going to get you in shit with dad again. 'i had to BEG for you to get a cell phone, dad didn't even want you to have one. You know what ill here tonight? i told you so.' shut the fuck up. you're mad at me for losing a phone i didn't want. youre mad because i forgot my key one day (guess it doesnt fucking matter i ran to grandmas and back, then to mikes and back, then to SCHOOL and back all in the cold in just a hoodie to find the fucking thing. doesn't matter right? becuase this is another chance for YOU. for you to do whatever fucking mind game you get to play when i fuck up.), youre mad because i called and asked to help with a school talent show, as i said i would do, and skip a fucking concert that i didn't want to go to in the first place, and now that there is no possible way i will enjoy it even a bit now, i dont want to go even more. youre mad because im not enough, not doing enough, and wont ever be fucking enough for you. i was going to tell you something i have had to gain the courage about for months now. i was so ready to just say it. i cant imagine saying one fucking word to you now if im not spoken to first and youd get mad if i didnt reply. youre mad because im in a bad mood. because im in a bad mood, youre mad at me; how. and you wonder why i dont talk to you about anything, why i have such trust issues, why im scared to let out my emotions, why i hate having people see me cry, why i hate talking about my problems with everyone but her? because you engraved it in my head for as long as i can remember. 'i yell. i get really mad at you. i find every excuse to verbally abuse you. this is family love and this is how parents are.' did you know when she said 'unconditional love from a family' it actually didnt make sense to me? at all? i couldn't even gather it in my head to make it logical, i still can't. if it's anything i don't understand or i cant make sense of, unconditional family love is it. i need to do a whole math review tonight, and youre making me get home at about eleven. ive been crying harder than i have in a while since four. its six. im fucking done with trying to be who you want me to me. i cant see it; i imagine myself as a parent. my child loses a phone, id deactivate it (the fucking this is on payasyougo anyways). my child forgets their key, id either leave a spare somewhere always or just know that sitting outside alone or running around outisde alone in the cold is punishment enough. i cant see how everything is to fucking huge to you. dont say youll try to change. you dont yell much anymore like you used to every day, but i cant tell you how much it fucking hurt then and it still does now. i feel so done. that man walked up to me and gave me a little bit of paper saying Gods Simple Plan of Salvation. i started crying harder when he recited Bible passages to me. i struggled saying that today was the day i needed to see someone in strong faith, but then it made me so mad that my faith isnt near that. im weak. so is my faith. more so i am.

you dont have to say anything. its just a bad day. a really fucking bad day. and it only started at four. and im complaining about it. dont let me complain anymore. shut me up and tell me to.

;u;

so birthday

is already shaping up to be the best birthday yet


and the day is not nearly over




;u; 143

Two words
right now

FUCK YES.



[link]

Okay, its not that hard of a song in all honesty, BUT I JUST FULL COMBO'D THAT SHIT.

[link]
that's the song


OKAY back to Greys Anatomy <3

Alright so.
I know we're saying this really really lots in advance but Tun's birthday is on March 10th. This happens to be her sweet 16 and she's really been wanting to do something special.

Such as go back to Alberta, with ME ouo, her mum and my adoptive mum, and perhaps :devsafety-pinnxx: if her parents allow and travel arrangements would work and she promises not to make ME ouo bleed.

HOWEVER we know money doesn't grow on trees, and 3 people's plane tickets would cost $2,130.45 CAD.

SHE had an interview to work in the kitchen as a dishwasher at a local hotel, and will be getting a phonecall back on Tuesday to see if he needs her service or not. He didn't give her a wage expectation but we guessed it wouldn't be much above minimum wage, which would put her at about 2000$ by March if she works about 2 shifts a week.

As you can see it's going to be really hard.

So we thought craftily about what ..I WAS ouo doing gross math hold on.

ok.

We wanted to sell CD's. As you know, we currently have a band called Sleeping Lessons. We were thinking of making a demo CD with about 5 songs, written and performed by us. ;3
(There should be a little bonus on the CD too...ouo)

But we were thinking of selling these for about 15$ here on dA. We'll sign the disc, and the album art will be self made.

Would you guys be interested in helping out?
We're also willing to do commissions as well.

ouo ok that's all

- Tun & Sabe <3

lolcopypaste




STOLEN FROM SHELBY ILU ono

First off, you like boys right?
Do I like half of the world's population? I haven't met them all. Heck if I know.

Ever kissed a Joe, Kevin, or Nick?
No. Is that a good thing?

Have you ever met a gay person?
Yes. And?

Last three texts in your phone are from:
N/A.

Have you ever intentionally made someone jealous?
Not that I can recall.

What's something you're excited about right now?
Dorion. March 10/Alberta. November 1. Halloween. Shitty apartment. Life after moving out.

Was/is your high school football team any good?
Don't really follow them much. Apparently they're okay? o-o

Honestly,do you see yourself as a slut?
-STRUT- Naw. I hope not? ono!

Are you talkative?
Depends how I'm feeling and who I'm talking to.
Or if I have had Ginger Ale Green Tea in large amounts.

Do you still talk to the person you fell hardest for?
I am.

Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell everything?
Yes

Who was the last girl you talked to?
Guess ouo

Are you currently frustrated with a boy/girl?
Yes

How did you get one of your last bruises?
A thong and a doorknob. Good god I'm sticking to boxers forever and always. Not a wearer, but that made me sure I won't start.

Ever had a sleepover with the opposite sex?
Yeah.

Do you listen to love songs when you're down?
I listen to music when I'm down. But I don't think they're really love songs. DEPENDS WHO YOU ARE TALKING TO.

Do you bump into someones arm if you want to hold their hand?
No I just go for it.

Last time you were truly happy?
A little while ago when I was laying around with Tun doing nothing in particular but laying and resting

Do you tend to fall for players?
No?

Will you have a boyfriend in 2 months?
I doubt that with every bone in my body. I hope not. No, I won't.

Have you ever had a best friend?
Yes sirma'am.

Does the song you're listening to remind you of a special boy?
Nothing's playing right now. I just feel like listening to white noise.

Has a boy ever complimented your hair?
Yes

Do you like hugs from cute boys?
IF BY CUTE YOU MEAN THE ONES THAT ARE MY FRIENDS
then yes I like hugs from them.

Last person you talked on the phone with?
Guess who ouo

Who do you blame for your bad mood today?
Not in a bad mood.

Did you have any unread text messages this morning when you woke up?
N/A ono

What's your relationship with the person you last texted?
N/A. OnO

What are your plans for tomorrow?
School. Get up insanely early and get to school really really early and just hang around in the 100 wing enterance. ouo

Name something you dislike about the day you're having?
Certain situations myself and a friend find ourselves in.

Is there anybody you're really disappointed in right now?
There will be soon

If you are being extremely quiet what doe... ]]> =SabeHaywood http://SabeHaywood.deviantart.com/journal/20608008/ http://SabeHaywood.deviantart.com/journal/20608008/ Wed, 24 Sep 2008 13:13:20 PDT

I

am okay

Switch the track and punch my ticket at the station.

Switch the track and punch their tickets at the station.


The sunrise this morning and for the past few mornings were simply beautiful. That's got to be a sign.

]]> =SabeHaywood http://SabeHaywood.deviantart.com/journal/20413437/ http://SabeHaywood.deviantart.com/journal/20413437/ Wed, 17 Sep 2008 15:46:32 PDT

Alright

so I'm near ready to pass out, as Tun just gave me a tablet to drool helplessly over.


ouo

Once I get the hang of this thing
gosh

I am excited



And there's this thing going around, and I was email-tagged about it. You say five facts about you on any site you use. Short and to the point. Lets do this.

1. I love dark chocolate
2. I think cheesy things aren't that cheesy and are lovely and ;u;
3. Half my head is cold thanks to this haircut, but I like it
4. Tounge piercing will be my next planned one I think
5. I like walks through the woods and along the street at night and anywhere

as long as they're with you


OKAY.

Tun thank you ;-; n

I luh you



ಠ_ಠ JUST DO IT -NIKESWOOSH-

[] Push me against a wall and kiss me?
[] Come To My House To Do Nothing But Chill?
[] Slap Me?
[] Slap me if i asked you to?
[] Kiss Me?
[] Let Me Kiss You?
[] Watch A Movie With Me?
[] Take Me Out To Dinner?
[] Take A Shower With Me?
[] Take Me Home For The Night?
[] Let Me Sleep In Your Bed?
[] Take Me Anywhere With You
[] Repost This For Me To Answer Your Questions?
[] Let Me Make You Breakfast?
[] Make me breakfast?
[] Tickle Me?
[] Sleep with me?
[] Fuck me?
[] Let Me Tickle You?
[] Stick Up For Me Uf I Was Being Put Down?
[] Instant Message Me?
[] Greet Me In Public?
[] Hang Out With Me?
[] Hold my waist from behind while we are out?
[] Bring Me Around Your Friends?
[] Fall in love with me
[] Like me
[] Love me

Do You...

[] Miss Me?
[] Think I'm Sexy?
[] Think I'm Cute?
[] Think I'm Hot?
[] Think I'm Ok?
[] Think I'm Ugly?
[] Want To Kiss Me?
[] Want To Cuddle With Me?
[] Want To Date Me?

Am I...

[] Smart?
[] Funny?
[] Cool?
[] Lovable?
[] Adorable?
[] Great To Be With?
[] Attractive?
[] Mean?
[] Ugly?
[] Gorgeous?

Have You Ever...

[] Thought About Hooking Up With Me?
[] Found Yourself Wanting To Kiss Me Non Stop?
[] Wished I Were There?
[] Had A Crush On Me?
[] Wanted My Number?
[] Had A Dream About Me?
[] Been Distracted By Me?

Are You...

[] Happy You Know Me?
[] Thinking About Me
[] my friend?

]]> =SabeHaywood http://SabeHaywood.deviantart.com/journal/20411506/ http://SabeHaywood.deviantart.com/journal/20411506/ Tue, 09 Sep 2008 17:50:48 PDT

Maybe I'm being dumb. Maybe I'm being stupid. Maybe I'm just being idiotic. But I don't want to die. I don't want them to put LCH online tomorrow. Protons colliding make blackholes. CERN is firing two rays of protons at eachother in the biggest and most powerful particle accelerator built. I don't want them to put it online. We don't need new matter. We're fine without it. How dangerous would it be even if there were no blackholes, however small? How dangerous would new matter be? We're tampering with mother nature. We're tampering with life. We're tampering with what we don't need to. We don't need to. Why are they launching this. How has CERN actually been granted this much money and with ALL these dangers with NO way to stop them if it happens and how can they still launch it?


Maybe I'm being dumb. But I don't want this doomsday machine to go online. I'm not sleeping tonight. I'll be praying and hoping. Maybe I'm being dumb. But I am scared.


I am scared.

]]> =SabeHaywood http://SabeHaywood.deviantart.com/journal/20325367/ http://SabeHaywood.deviantart.com/journal/20325367/ Mon, 08 Sep 2008 17:32:58 PDT

So I was requested to type up a quick journal again. You know I don't have anything to say when you ask, right? You know that right?


Not much new other than something she'd probably kick me for putting up here. Buy guys. For srs. -out-


So you know, just finished up my homework. I'm excited and nervous for this year. It's so balanced out I don't know to say whether I'm either.



I really wish we'd start actually WORKING on our project in construction and woodworking. We're still in the dreaded week of safety and forms and measurement. Apparently, just because we don't use it much, teens here have no clue what an inch or a yard or 1/16" is. It's rather upsetting to know I'll be working dangerous machines beside kids who can't figure out one of those little tick things means an inch. I'm not saying I'm better, I'm not saying they're not smart; it just unnerves me to know that I guess. AND. These boys. Good god this happened last year. When there is a girl in tech, an occasionally rare sight, this happens.

Girl in tech class > Pamela Anderson and Carmen Electra and every other female icon doing a photoshoot in the back of the shop

They are offering their emails to me. Offering. Apparently I'm quite the catch. Maybe it's just to tech kids. They're all in there just to not do homework because you can't bring saws home. I mean I'm talking to them like they're just casual friends, because it's a pretty social class. And I mean it's good to know someone who might cut your finger off or skin your arm clean or crush your ribs in the next few months. But I don't like it much.

"Hey.. Beth, right?" "Yeah, hey. c: I think you were in my science last year right? Tech and french too if I remember?" "Heh yeah! I was. 8D Ehhhehehhhhhh" "Good stuff, good stuff. c: -DOES WORK FOR ONCE-" "So do you want my email? o-o" "... ._. *thought: What the hell. *second thought: I'm in tech. *third thought: Not again ;-;. My MSN is kind of.. cluttered. But ANYWAYS you got the answers to yesterday's work right you weren't here and I think you should get them down and.."

That. Happened. It's not fair to toy with them but I might give them the smallest amount of false hope if they keep up. Tech guys. N. They're all older than me and they don't know it. One kid asked if I was in grade twelve. A bunch just think I am. I don't get it I'm younger n Beat them all off my hot manufacturing education bod with a two by four if they try any more funny buisness. -crossed arms- They're everywhere


BUT REGARDLESS OF BOYS WANTING ME ALL OVER THE PLANER AND RADIAL ARM SAW BENCH I should go biking before it gets dark. So, goodnight and whatnot.



Suggestions for drawings? c:


Stolen from someone, but then Moose had it. I saw it somewhere though. :c

Would you/ Could you...

[] Push me against a wall and kiss me?
[] Come To My House To Do Nothing But Chill?
[] Slap Me?
[] Slap me if i asked you to?
[] Kiss Me?
[] Let Me Kiss You?
[] Watch A Movie With Me?
[] Take Me Out To Dinner?
[] Take A Shower With Me?
[] Take Me Home For The Night?
[] Let Me Sleep In Your Bed?
[] Take Me Anywhere With You
[] Repost This For Me To Answer Your Questions?
[] Let Me Make You Breakfast?
[] Make me breakfast?
[] Tickle Me?
[] Sleep with me?
[] Fuck me?
[] Let Me Tickle You?
[] Stick Up For Me Uf I Was Being Put Down?
[] Instant Message Me?
[] Greet Me In Public?
[] Hang Out With Me?
[] Hold my waist from behind while we are out?
[] Bring Me Around Your Friends?
[] Fall in love with me
[] Like me
[] Love me

Do You...

[] Miss Me?
[] Think I'm Sexy?
[] Think I'm Cute?
[] Think I'm Hot?
[] Think I'm Ok?
[] Think I'm Ugly?
[] Want To Kiss Me?
[] Want To Cuddle With Me?
[] Want To Date Me?

Am I...

[] Smart?
[] Funny?
[] Cool?
[] Lovable?
[] Adorable?
[] Great To Be With?
[] Attractive?
[] Mean?
[] Ugly?
[] Gorgeous?

Have You Ever...

[] Thought About Hooking Up With Me?
[] Found Yourself Wanting To Kiss Me Non Stop?
[] Wished I Were There?
[] Had A Crush On Me?
[] Wanted My Number?
[] Had A Dream About Me?
[] Been Distracted By Me?

Are You...

[] Happy You Know Me?
[] Thinking About Me
[] my friend?







_{just
like
that~}

<... ]]> =SabeHaywood http://SabeHaywood.deviantart.com/journal/20273378/ http://SabeHaywood.deviantart.com/journal/20273378/ Mon, 01 Sep 2008 14:08:11 PDT

She sacrificed her cherry to me at Grandma's.

And I took her licorice.

That is all.

]]> =SabeHaywood http://SabeHaywood.deviantart.com/journal/20197075/ http://SabeHaywood.deviantart.com/journal/20197075/ Thu, 28 Aug 2008 06:54:07 PDT

My brother left last night. He tried to get out of the house without anyone hearing him, but we have a loud house. It wasn't trying to be a childish thing; it was more just a 'fucking get out of here now' sort of thing. It was about one thirty in the morning. My dad heard and went to the window, opened it, and started shouting at him. So did my mum. My mum said she's kicking him out. As soon as he 'e-mails her from work' as he said he would in the fucking two page note clearly explaining why he didn't want to be here, (And I could have writen the exact same words myself. But she wouldn't notice. She doesn't pay attention to stuff that doesn't involve how much work she has to do and how unfair it is.), she'll be replying with a seven-day notice to pick up his stuff and be gone by a certain date and time. He's old enought to be on his own, he shouldn't be on his own. I honestly don't think he'd be okay on his own. He's staying with friends and co-workers though. But I just don't know. Don't get me wrong he can really be a completely rude idiot sometimes, but I love him sort of like a good friend. My friends probably won't get that, but this house has been through a lot of stuff I wish it hasn't, and we've both gone through some of it together. Not much, but some. As soon as he got a job I didn't see him much, which scared me to death knowing I was the only one home to get screamed at. Knowing he'll be.. not just at work... not coming home.. that fucking scares me the most. It's like a tagteam here. When I'm home, I'm yelled at. When he used to be home when he was a bit younger, he was 'talked to'. I always got the worst of it because I'm younger I guess. Fucking unfair, I couldn't agree more, but at least he'd talk back just a few times, just those few times, to give me time to stuff my head under the pillow and pretend it wasn't happening. Now, I get screamed at about everything, including him. And he gets home at about midnight, everyone's in bed, he leaves for work really early, and it's the same fucking thing over again.
He's going to be gone. Guys I'm sorry I'm just - if you weren't getting me out of the house today for a few Tun I don't know what would have kept me here last night and now.

]]> =SabeHaywood http://SabeHaywood.deviantart.com/journal/20097353/ http://SabeHaywood.deviantart.com/journal/20097353/ Sun, 24 Aug 2008 15:11:46 PDT

I dont feel right

Last night was really nice being able to see you though. And today. And resting till two or three. It really was. Thank you.


But I really don't feel right. At all. I don't want to be scared about what might be wrong. I don't want to be scared about being here anymore. I don't want to



I wish I could tell you what it is but it is just so far off from right.


I thought about it when I was walking across the Hudson street bridge.



I dont want to be scared I dont want to be this selfish

I dont want to



I feel so, in lack of a better word, done




Im sorry guys you dont have to say anything I just I dont know

]]> =SabeHaywood http://SabeHaywood.deviantart.com/journal/20078474/ http://SabeHaywood.deviantart.com/journal/20078474/ Fri, 22 Aug 2008 05:20:37 PDT

I wish my good moods could stay around for a little longer then they do, you know? Selfish, probably. But I wish they would.

This is the worst it's been around here for a long long time. I can't remember a time when everyone was so mad at eachother, to be honest. It was all over house cleaning. No one likes to do it, sure. But I can't believe this is all happening; how much everything escalates in here. If my parents logically stay together through this, I'll be kind of surprised. All my mother said to me today was "Are you fucking out of there yet?", reffering to me being in the shower to wake up this morning. And about an hour of screaming. I tried to count how many times she said "fuck" or "fucking". I lost count after a minute or so. I just sat there, stirring my cereal around blankly while she continued screaming. I didn't have the stomach to eat any more when she was done. I've been throwing up and crying more than I know I could. I was the only one home, I'm the only one not old enough to pack up and leave. I guess she's smart when she picks who to take her anger out on. She left a note by the coffee maker saying she's "On strike". That she's not going to do anything around the house untill everyone does their part. I guess I can understand that. I really don't like my room clean to be honest, but if that will make her stop screaming, I'll do it. My dad left a note for her saying "Here's some blood. I forgot you were the only one doing anything. I forgot that when I'm out all day working you're slaving away twenty four hours a day.." I dont know, it kept going. He broke a red pen or something at the bottom; maybe it was ketchup, I'm not sure. My brother is at work, so is my dad, and thank God my mum just left. The wind closed the gate this morning. I jumped to the window of my room to see if she left yet. When I found out she didn't I started crying harder. I don't know much different, but I don't think family means anything close to this. Hate, screaming, anger.. this isn't a home. It's just a house. It's just a fucking house with tinted windows that my mum doesn't let anyone see in to. It's just a fucking house. Walls and a roof that I don't want to be in anymore. Wood and plaster and glass; that's all this place is anymore.

I need to go outside. I can't breathe in here. I don't want to breathe in here.


On a better note, Tun, I can probably go with you on the 29th. Seeing my mother "doesn't fucking care what I do with my fucking wasted life". She said to ask my dad. He's a lot more understanding with stuff like this, you know that. I'm sure he'll understand that I'm not going to camp with her now, under any circumstances. I'll try to get some money together today. I'll check my account.


I don't want to be here.





I was a little girl alone in my little world
who dreamed of a little home for me
I played pretend between the trees
and fed my houseguests bark and leaves
and laughed in my pretty bed of green

I had a dream
That I could fly from the highest swing
I had a dream

Long walks in the dark
through woods grown behind the park
I asked God who I'm supposed to be
The stars smiled down on me
God answered in silent reverie
I said a prayer and fell asleep.

I had a dream
That I could fly from the highest tree.
I had a dream.

Now I'm old and feeling grey
I don't know what's left to say
about this life I'm willing to leave
I lived it full and I lived it well
there's many tales I've lived to tell
I'm ready now, I'm ready now,
I'm ready now to fly from the highest wing.

I had a dream

]]> =SabeHaywood http://SabeHaywood.deviantart.com/journal/19864869/ http://SabeHaywood.deviantart.com/journal/19864869/ Mon, 18 Aug 2008 10:15:41 PDT

Man, so it looks like I only have nine days of my donated sub left. Rather upsetting, yes. I didn't want one untill Tun made me pass out after donating it to me, now I don't want to go back. Especially with this new version of dA.

BUT. Other than that. I hope you're having a good time out at Dorion. I'm sorry I haven't been home. I've been in and out of the doctors and stuff; and getting the phone when across town is a bit tricky. Make it a good week though, alright?

School is coming in about two weeks. I'm not sure if I'm looking forward to it or not. I get to see all my cool kids every day, and I got into all my classes, but I mean.. it's school.

This summer; best summer so far for me I'd have to say. Huge ups and downs, but all in all, just looking at the ups, it's been awesome. (Other than yesterday's heat. 37C/(about)98F? I'm Canadian. Not enjoyed.) But I'd sit here for hours typing away about all the amazing things that have happened these two months. I'll spare you, but trust me, it kicked some serious ass.

I guess the school year is what you make of it, right? Let's make it a good one, okay? Okay. If you don't, you know, I'll just hit you a little bit. But I'll still love you.

OKAY.


Man I'm going to miss this sub. :c Thank you though Tun

]]> =SabeHaywood http://SabeHaywood.deviantart.com/journal/19858734/ http://SabeHaywood.deviantart.com/journal/19858734/ Sat, 09 Aug 2008 08:17:11 PDT

-backspaces ALL of that-







I played a bunch of Coldplay at the window last night. Before I got my ride to see Miss whatever her name was. I don't know if you like that song, Shiver, but its one I really like so I played that. Then Yellow.. and Fix you.. and a toned down Speed of Sound.. and a lot of other songs by different people. I dont know if you could hear me, but I thought you might like them so I tried. The wind might be a bit slow for letting you hear them, but we'll see how it goes.


So, I'm about out of stuff to say. I'm excited you're getting back. I'll call Adoptive Mum and see what's what tomorrow.


I love you and miss you but one more day oh my gosh



BUT BY THE WAY that Sim you made of yourself now has a collection of 34 husbands and wives. Man.. the downsides to the free will option. I'm one of them so I mean CANT BE THAT BAD. But you keep having your way with me all over the house.

ENOUGH OF THAT



143. 143. (1 more day? It can mean so much n)

<3v3333v333v

]]> =SabeHaywood http://SabeHaywood.deviantart.com/journal/19833943/ http://SabeHaywood.deviantart.com/journal/19833943/ Fri, 08 Aug 2008 07:58:05 PDT

Okay so you wanted me to do a journal, but I really don't know what to write about right now. I've been watching online shows all day, and I biked for a bit which was a horrible choice as to my leg(s) are not even close to feeling better but I had to leave the house for a bit. I biked all the way to Copenhagen Rd. I mean only 21 kilometers or so up all the, pardon the language, fucking amazing yet fucking tricky Centennial bike paths. (Have you BEEN on those things yet? Beautiful paths. Rocks bigger than me to jump over, jumps everywhere, streams and trees and roots and just good riding) but I think I made my leg so much worse. SO, you know, just dont laugh at me at the airport or at Dorion because I'm not letting you see me with crutches (PRIDE IS A BITCH D; ), stupid things make me feel stupid, so I'll be walking wierd. :c

I'm really glad you got to meet Dani and Dani got to meet you. Sounds and looks like you kids had a great time. I'm sorry I forgot your note Dani I remembered when I got back in the car and Tun got on the plane. :c I will mail you something I swear.

But you haven't heard the song I learned so it doesn't really count, but I think you'd like it. Especially seeing I can't play the guitar too well yet so it'll sound.. childishly aweful. But I think you might like the tune.

Three more days. I need to call Adoptive Mum tomorrow to see what is all going down when you get back, but I think my parents are alright with it.

I really want to make the bike ride down to the border again. Yet again, only about sixty kilometers, but it was so nice last time. If my legs weren't being sourpusses and jerks I would have gone today. ;-; BUT I could not. I just killed them more on the short term riding.

HOLYSHITTWENTYMOREDAYSOFSUB;__;

I really hope you're having a great time there. I will bug you forever about your H&M shirt. Untill it is in a pile beside a bed that happens to have both of us in it not just sleeping, I will pester you about it. And all your other stuff you bought. :c -waddles to Salvation Army for more shirts again- I'm stealing your shoes and hoodies and music I love you

Alright. I'll wait up for you anyways, whether you're getting back online or not. Talk to you tomorrow.


1432743384(10)443 (jerk, I know.)

143(10)<3 c:


Remind me to give you the pinecone when you get back. It looks stupid but it means a lot to me and I think you'd be a bit amused with it.


I love you and miss you come home safe and happy soon alright?

<3 Goodnight.


Okay. Edit.


Because of the breakin(s) a little while ago, we need a new door for they smashed ours in. So, my dad painted and got this new door, and the man came today to fix it. He's still here, mind you, and I dont like it because I'm the only one home, and he makes a lot of noise, but in short, there's a really badly tanned disgustingly muscled shirtless man with a stupid looking goatee and a waxed chest but not waxed back nailing things into my doorway right now. But I didn't sleep, so I'm groggy as hell, and I wonder downstairs to go to the bathroom. And he's in there. The door unlocked. Peeing in my bathroom. Good god if I was awake I would have died. I just closed the door and waited. He was studdering for however long trying to say sorry, I said something along the lines of its cool everyone has to pee but I dont know. That was the wierdest way to start off today I think. When I wake up I'm sure a reaction will hit me.

I've eaten way too many Cheerios to be healthy right now. You know those jumbo square boxes with two big bags in them? That was taken down in two days. Two breakfasts. I dont feel well.

My god I am gpoingtobe sic

]]> =SabeHaywood http://SabeHaywood.deviantart.com/journal/19792043/ http://SabeHaywood.deviantart.com/journal/19792043/ Wed, 06 Aug 2008 11:52:07 PDT

Alright so I don't have too much to say I guess. It's just nice typing stuff and knowing you'll read it whenever you get the chance to. It's bloody pouring here, but in a relaxing sort of way. No lightning or thunder, just a lot of rain. It sounds nice. I don't think it's going to last too long though.

Manduh can probably hear me typing this and eating my Cherrios because I think the mic is still on but that's alright.


Man I have to stop drawing. At least hell is warm. :c

But I miss you and I love you and I hope you're having a great time.


I'd love to do the same for you for the rest of my life. I'm not joking either. -holds out box-


Hopefully talk to you soon.

143. <3



52?


I was talking to Manduh so this took a while to type. It stopped raining.

You're going to have so much reading :c

]]> =SabeHaywood http://SabeHaywood.deviantart.com/journal/19720995/ http://SabeHaywood.deviantart.com/journal/19720995/ Mon, 04 Aug 2008 13:36:49 PDT

Man you are going to have so much reading when you get back I am so sorry. I thought THEBOOK had quite a bit. That is a fraction of all the bits of paper I've writen and horribly doodled on I'm sorry ilu. ;n;

But I am sorry. I said I'd be safe. I promised to try and I tried so hard but a rock and a dirtbike that is heavier than me didn't seem to think that promise was worth shit. I'm not using the crutches though. I'd sooner shove them somewhere uncomfortable than walk around with those things bruising my underarms and hurting my wrist more. I'll just waddle. Don't make fun of me please? That rock moved so fast and then the bike had my legs pinned under itself on rocks. My legs hurt quite a bit they better be able to walk nicely or with the least possible wincing and waddling. Damn. It was last night too. I was almost home safe and fine. SO close. ;-; I am decked out in three or four tensor bandages. Now that

THAT

kind of kicks ass.

But I hope you are doing well. I cannot wait to see these strange pictures of dead bodies and whatnot. And some rollercoaster and other stuff that untraveled Beth will be completely and childishly amazed at. My mum said I can do the get-to-Dorion late thing, so airport seems to be a go if your mum doesn't mind a waddling kid slowing her down a bit. ;-; N but I got to watch a bit of Titanic while I was waiting and when they were twisting my legs back in because it 'wouldn't hurt much'. Bullshit. I'm sorry, but bullshit.

Okay well I'll be looking forward to talking to you today. I say sorry again for all the reading and tired doodles you'll have to work your way through at Dorion but it's in the most loving way possible.

I saw birds going at it. Like right outside the hospital window. I was all ".... 8|". I wasn't staring like that but it threw me off.


Make me promise to take you to Fraiser and Jessie and Elizabeth lake. I think you'd like it there.



Hope you're alright and you're still having a good time there

143 <3


[link] Scorpios are misunderstood. :c I don't like expensive stuff I don't care how much stuff costs I'm not great with compliments I don't get angry easily. :c! Maybe jealous sometimes but not very often.

Guys.

OKAY 143 <33

]]> =SabeHaywood http://SabeHaywood.deviantart.com/journal/19609093/ http://SabeHaywood.deviantart.com/journal/19609093/ Wed, 30 Jul 2008 20:31:14 PDT

So it's about quarter after eleven, I just spelled eleven wrong about ten times before getting it right, and I'm on my roof waiting for clouds to clear up. You just signed off rather quickly, so I didn't get to say much of a goodbye. You won't read this till tomorrow but goodnight and I love you. I don't really know what else to say. I've been stuck in my room all day for the past while from grounding so you're probably going to get quite a few horribly done doodles; I'll blame how tired I am and not the fact that I lost quite a bit of artistic.. magic. But I don't know, I really hope you're having a good trip and that you'll feel better soon. You really deserve to have a great time there and I want you to have one. You know, just take pictures for the kid still cooped up in her room. I don't know if I'll be able to meet you at the airport when you come back, but I'll try my hardest to do so if you still would like me to. I keep trying to imagine what it must look like there but I'm not doing such a great jHOLYFUCKINGCHRISTABIRDJUSTHITMEINTHEHEADWHATTHE okay I'm alright. Um, anyways.. I'm not doing a very great job at it. I'll be a camera whore when you get back or something along those lines. That was a really loud car. My word. I mean I'm glad you're way off there hopefully having a good time, but it would be nice if you were here, or I could at least give you a hug or something nice. But since I can't just know that I really would like to. And alright, the stars are coming out, so I best be going. I'll try to stay up and get up early just incase you decide to sign back in. I hope you have a great night and know that I miss you terribly but I love you more than that so that is what counts. Have a good night and a good day tomorrow.

11:26pm, Wednesday apparently?, June 30th.

143 <3

I'll talk to you tomorrow.

I miss you

]]> =SabeHaywood http://SabeHaywood.deviantart.com/journal/19526225/ http://SabeHaywood.deviantart.com/journal/19526225/ Mon, 21 Jul 2008 20:39:48 PDT

I know the timing isn't great
But these things, you just can't plan.
I just need a little time
So I can find myself again
'Cause I get buried underneath
All the things they think you are
And I'm too tired to pretend it doesn't hurt

I had a pocket full of dreams
But I gave them all to you
So can you tell me if I'm crazy or confused?
Don't ever change
The way you are
I've never loved anyone more.

]]> =SabeHaywood