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]]> ~Sadgirl03 http://Sadgirl03.deviantart.com/journal/25244207/ http://Sadgirl03.deviantart.com/journal/25244207/ Wed, 10 Jun 2009 21:06:45 PDT is that I love you.

The more I let you go,
the more I seem to have a need of you.
And it will not go away
no matter how much I command it.

Do you think The Queen is mistress of her feelings?

No.

She is a fool for love.
A hopeless fool."

]]> ~Sadgirl03 http://Sadgirl03.deviantart.com/journal/24634381/ http://Sadgirl03.deviantart.com/journal/24634381/ Thu, 07 May 2009 12:21:24 PDT
I believe that this phrase is known as Soul Mate

12 lifetimes ago we lived in in Wales. I watched as you were unjustly accused of a crime you did not commit. A crime that was committed by a woman in your life. She did not step forward and set things right and you were accused. I watched as a noble lady stood aside and did nothing to save your life though she knew of the truth and could of saved you. I stood in the crowd and watched you hanged and I could do nothing. You were my brother and I loved you. I wanted to save you from these horrible women who wanted to hurt you. I still want to save you.

In another lifetime, too far gone in ancient history to count the lifetimes past, we lived in a native culture, possibly Mayan or Incan. You were my bound mate and I loved you.
I had to sit by and watch you leave time after time to explore and to have adventures. There was nothing I could do but sit and await your return. Then there came a time that you did not return to me. You were gone and again, there was nothing I could do. I wanted to save you and keep you safe by my side at home. I still want to save you.

In one of my lives however I made the choice to sequester myself away from the hurt I've felt throughout the generations of loosing you. I dedicated my life to the Celtic Moon Goddess, Rhiannon.
I had made a solid contract to serve her as her High Priestess and take no man unto myself.
It appears to me that this contract is still valid in this life for I seem to be alone once more.

It is not my Karma to save you. That is a job for you. It grieves me not being able to help you along your path and your discoveries. I watch as you surround yourself with women who can hurt you and do not truly love you. I watch as you try to explore who you are and start out on new grand adventures in a new life. I do not begrudge you your adventures or your new discoveries, In fact I encourage it. But it just seems that once again it I am destined to sit and watch and wait. The problem is that I am tired of watching and waiting.

It was no accident that when I created my petition to the Universe to find my soul mate that I have found you and that you have found me. Once again throughout time and eternity we have come into one another's lives.
I do not wish to have to wait for another life time to have you, To hold you and to tell you how much I truly love you.

For I Truly, Deeply and Madly love you.


Had I the heavens' embroidered cloths, Enwrought with the golden and silver light, The blue and the dim and the dark cloths Of night and light and half-light, I would spread the cloths under your feet But I, being poor, have only my dreams; I have spread my dreams beneath your feet; Tread softly because you tread on my dreams...

~William Butler Yeats

]]> ~Sadgirl03 http://Sadgirl03.deviantart.com/journal/24039414/ http://Sadgirl03.deviantart.com/journal/24039414/ Fri, 03 Apr 2009 11:50:55 PDT
Do you know anything about me?
That I even exisit at all?

Do you know that you are not the only one?
And you wont even be the victor in this?

I wish you no ill will
I hope for you nothing but happiness

]]> ~Sadgirl03 http://Sadgirl03.deviantart.com/journal/22475388/ http://Sadgirl03.deviantart.com/journal/22475388/ Thu, 08 Jan 2009 17:50:23 PST Now he understands
But he still has to come to terms with it
And Im okay with that
Ive maned up and told him EVERYTHING
And NO he didnt run away.
It hingens on a few small but key points
Its gonna take time to work through it
But its gonna be Okay!

]]> ~Sadgirl03 http://Sadgirl03.deviantart.com/journal/22442801/ http://Sadgirl03.deviantart.com/journal/22442801/ Tue, 06 Jan 2009 21:10:03 PST Things have a habbitt of becomming so hollow
That empty feeling
I hate that feeling
But latley its all I seem to be feeling
This will pass
Of that Im certian
But for now Its here and it sucks
But I deal and I will survive

]]> ~Sadgirl03 http://Sadgirl03.deviantart.com/journal/22298175/ http://Sadgirl03.deviantart.com/journal/22298175/ Wed, 31 Dec 2008 09:02:12 PST Trying to collect my thoughts
All I think about is you

And so I cry myself to sleep
And hope the devil I don't meet
In the dreams that I live through

Believe in me
I know you've waited for so long
Believe in me
Sometimes the weak become the strong
Believe in me
This life's not always what it seems
Believe in me
Cause I was made for chasing dreams

All the smiles you've had to fake
And all the shit you've had to take
Just to lead us here again

I never have the things to say
To make it all just go away
To make it all just disappear

Believe in me
I know you've waited for so long
Believe in me
Sometimes the weak become the strong
Believe in me
This life's not always what it seems
Believe in me
Cause I was made for chasing dreams

It's my life
It's my choice
Hear my words
Hear my voice
And just believe

I sit alone and watch the clock
Trying to collect my thoughts
And all I think about is you

If you believe in me
Life's not always what it seems
Believe in me
Cause I was made for chasing dreams

Believe in me
I know you've waited for so long
Believe in me
Sometimes the weak become the strong
Believe in me
This life's not always what it seems
Believe in me
Cause I was made for chasing dreams

~Stained

]]> ~Sadgirl03 http://Sadgirl03.deviantart.com/journal/21757247/ http://Sadgirl03.deviantart.com/journal/21757247/ Sun, 30 Nov 2008 21:24:17 PST
Physically he is usually tall. Sometimes bearded and with piercing eyes, either blue or green. He sometimes gives an austere appearance. He may look like he doesn't smile too often. He may not age well and could tend to look rather weathered or older than he actually is, even at a young age. Mostly he would have dark hair. Conservative in attire most of the time. Serious manner in appearance and clothing.

Personality: Can be abrasive, tactless and have a harsh attitude towards life and his efforts for survival. He may have fought various battles, personal or in times of war, that have left him feeling empty and scarred. He may even have a physical scar on his face or hands. He tends to treat people abrubtly, as if they annoy him just by their presence. He is serious and often secretive. Often, what he doesn't say, says it all. His look can condemn. He likes to be in charge and in control of his life and his environment. He is generally in business suits or a uniform of some type. He appreciates the discipline of keeping up appearances and likes his boots polished very well. He may actually collect old relics or swords as a hobby and enjoy cleaning and polishing them and putting them on display in his home. He is generally tidy by nature, methodical and despising clutter and useless items. He believes that life is meant to involve hard work and he would not like to be unemployed at any time, as he likes the structures of time and discipline in his well-ordered life. He would appreciate a good steak. He dislikes waste and frivolity.

He has the gift of intelligence, commonsense and foresight. He likes to have well-defined plans and goals. He is a stickler for rules and doing his duty. He is a born leader. He appreciates time. He is capable of being the instructor.

Occupations suited to him would be the head of a company or large organisation. Also he would make a great surgeon, doctor, police officer, dentist or anything that involves the use of sharp items or weapons. He would make a good soldier, warrior, fighter or leader of a revolution.

His future lies in being more open to others if he is to feel fulfilled at the end of his life. He could fall in love again, or renew his vows with his wife if already married. He is faithful though observant of the beauty of women. He especially admires women of grace and good manners. He is as vulnerable as the next man, but rarely shows it. He will have a relationship if she shows enough direct interest in him.

Querent's card. If this is you, now is the time to make a clean break with what you have been doing up until now. Sever the past and start anew. You can heed the challenge. You are brave and can face anything the future holds. Just say yes!

If you are not the querent and this card appears, I suggest that you allow this person to be themself. Do not stand in this man's way, he will rollercoaster over you without even noticing you were stood there in the first place. He can be the most sincerest friend, only after you have proven your friendship to him, never before.

]]> ~Sadgirl03 http://Sadgirl03.deviantart.com/journal/21375695/ http://Sadgirl03.deviantart.com/journal/21375695/ Fri, 07 Nov 2008 16:27:43 PST
Sometimes the only word there is to describe a certian situation, a certian feeling, a certian person or a certian place is just that one little word......FUCK!!!

So thats how I am going to descibe my day today......FUCK!!!


FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK

]]> ~Sadgirl03 http://Sadgirl03.deviantart.com/journal/21328436/ http://Sadgirl03.deviantart.com/journal/21328436/ Tue, 04 Nov 2008 20:55:53 PST I hope it lasts forever.

Karma gave me a gift
And Im not suppose to look a gift horse in the mouth.

But for somereason I think Im gonna have to pay a heafty price for it.

But the Universe has told me that Ive allready pre-paid so dont worry about it, this gift is mine all mine and I dont have to question.

I hope that this is true.
Beacause to feel this way is bliss
and I hope it lasts forever

]]> ~Sadgirl03 http://Sadgirl03.deviantart.com/journal/21261216/ http://Sadgirl03.deviantart.com/journal/21261216/ Sat, 01 Nov 2008 08:30:42 PDT Don't know how much time has passed
Oh God it feels like forever
But no one ever tells you that forever feels like home
Sitting all alone inside your head

[Cause I'm looking at you through the glass
Don't know how much time has passed
All I know is that it feels like forever
No one ever tells you that forever feels like home
Sitting all alone inside your head ]

How do you feel? That is the question
But I forget you don't expect an easy answer
When something like a soul becomes initialized
And folded up like paper dolls and little notes
You can't expect a bit of hope
So while you're outside looking in
Describing what you see
Remember what you're staring at is me

'Cause I'm looking at you through the glass
Don't know how much time has passed
All I know is that it feels like forever
But No one ever tells you that forever feels like home
Sitting all alone inside your head

How much is real?
So much to question
An epidemic of the mannequins
Contaminating everything
We thought came from the heart
But never did right from the start
Just listen to the noises
(Null and void instead of voices)
Before you tell yourself
It's just a different scene
Remember it's just different from what you've seen

I'm looking at you through the glass
Don't know how much time has passed
And all I know is that it feels like forever
But no one ever tells you that forever feels like home
Sitting all alone inside your head

'Cause I'm looking at you through the glass
Don't know how much time has passed
And all I know is that it feels like forever
But no one ever tells you that forever feels like home
Sitting all alone inside your head

And it's the stars
The stars that shine for you
And it's the stars
The stars that lie to you, yeah ah
And it's the stars
The stars that shine for you
And it's the stars
The stars that lie to you, yeah ah

I'm looking at you through the glass
Don't know how much time has passed
Oh God it feels like forever
But no one ever tells you that forever feels like home
Sitting all alone inside your head

'Cause I'm looking at you through the glass
Don't know how much time has passed
All I know is that it feels like forever
But no one ever tells you that forever feels like home
Sitting all alone inside your head

And it's the stars
The stars that shine for you, yeah ah
And it's the stars
The stars that lie to you, yeah ah
And it's the stars
The stars that shine for you, yeah ah
And its's the stars
The stars that lie to you, yeah yeah

Oh when the stars
Oh when the stars they lie.

~Stone Sour

]]> ~Sadgirl03 http://Sadgirl03.deviantart.com/journal/21240454/ http://Sadgirl03.deviantart.com/journal/21240454/ Thu, 30 Oct 2008 22:32:44 PDT No need to think it over,
If i'm wrong I aint right,
No need to look no further,
This ain't lust,
This is love but,

If i tell the world,
I'll never say enough,
Cause it was not said to you,
And thats exactly what i need to do,
If i'm in love with you,

Should i give up,
Or should i just keep chasing pavements?
Even if it leads nowhere,
Or would it be a waste?
Even If i knew my place should i leave it there?
Should i give up,
Or should i just keep chasing pavements?
Even if it leads nowhere

I'd build myself up,
And fly around in circles,
Wait then as my heart drops,
and my back begins to tingle
finally could this be it

Should i give up,
Or should i just keep chasing pavements?
Even if it leads nowhere,
Or would it be a waste?
Even If i knew my place should i leave it there?
Should i give up,
Or should i just keep chasing pavements?
Even if it leads nowhere


~Adele

I love this song
I just found it and I absolutly love it.

]]> ~Sadgirl03 http://Sadgirl03.deviantart.com/journal/21128993/ http://Sadgirl03.deviantart.com/journal/21128993/ Thu, 23 Oct 2008 16:46:01 PDT
My Heart Thump
My Knees Weak
My Soul Ache
My Stomach Flip
My Arms Long For You
My Eyes Tear


You Make........

Me Want You More And More Everyday

]]> ~Sadgirl03 http://Sadgirl03.deviantart.com/journal/20807197/ http://Sadgirl03.deviantart.com/journal/20807197/ Fri, 03 Oct 2008 11:11:05 PDT
In every possible way.
And oh, my dreams, it's never quiet as it seems,
Never quiet as it seems.

I know I've felt like this before, but now I'm feeling it even more,
Because it came from you.
And then I open up and see the person falling here is me,
A different way to be.



I want more imposible to ignore,
Imposible to ignore.
And they'll come true, impossible not to do,
Impossible not to do.

And now I tell you openly, you have my heart so don't hurt me.
You're what I couldn't find.
A totally amazing mind, so understanding and so kind;
You're everything to me.

Oh, my life,
Is changing every day,
In every possible way.

And oh, my dreams,
It's never quiet as it seems,
'Cause you're a dream to me,
Dream to me.

~The Cranberries

Just Like It Oh So Much.

]]> ~Sadgirl03 http://Sadgirl03.deviantart.com/journal/20051710/ http://Sadgirl03.deviantart.com/journal/20051710/ Wed, 20 Aug 2008 00:20:00 PDT A nice stiff drink. Yeah thats the ticket!

Then I need to get laid
Thats right, I said I need to get laid, I felt it was so important it needed to be said agian.

Then I need about 500,000 dollars,
Dont ask me why, just trust me on this.

Shoes, did I mentions the part about the shoes?
Yeah I'm gonna need some new shoes, alot of new shoes and no the 500,00 dollars will not be paying for said shoes, that money is for other things, again just dont ask, just go with the flow here.

I need for Georgia to not be so God Damn far away! I do miss him alot!

I really really need for my dog to stop barking at the neighbors cat whos digging holes in my front garden so he can take a shit.

I need a BB gun to shoot afore said cat right in the ass for digging up my front garden to take the afore siad shit.

I need to be manhandled by the sexiest of them all, but like I said before Hes in Georgia.... But then agian I think this may go with my second entry of getting laid....See, I said it was an important topic of discussion, important enough for me to bring it up three times alone in this conversation.

I need to stop babbiling and go to sleep.

]]> ~Sadgirl03 http://Sadgirl03.deviantart.com/journal/19616143/ http://Sadgirl03.deviantart.com/journal/19616143/ Sun, 27 Jul 2008 00:38:12 PDT Why did I like you?
What did I see in you?

I like you because........

You are.......
Open
Honest
Funny
Genuine
Incredably Handsome
Not to mention Sexy
Nobody dose the things that you do to me
Nobody makes me feel the way that you do
I have so much in common with you
Not to mention you make my heart race everytime I hear your voice, See your face watch you smile and look in your eyes.
I can't explaine why

I pulled myself back and back and back
But I kept finding myself thinking of you
The more I learned
The more I was drawn closer

You probobly think I'm crazy
And by my behavoir your probobly right
I don't mean to be crazy
I just feel things so much more keenly and deeply than most people and it can get so overwhelming at times

But what I do know is......

I got over bieng lonley along time ago,
I cherish my freedom and my ability to be alone and be happy (Yes belive it or not, I can be happy more times than not)

But I do miss going to bed next to someone I love
To be held and petted like a kitty before I fall asleep
To wake up in the morning with him pressed next to me,
Ready for the sleepy early morning spooning sex.
I miss going to the movies and holding hands
I miss car rides up the caynons just so he and I could be alone together

Lonley is one thing
Wanting to share is another.
Theres too many great fun adventourous things I would like to do
It just makes it so much better when theres someone you care about there with you.

I dont know if this will ever be read by you or not
If it dose, I really hope you will respond back to me
If it dosnt..............

I do know this.......
The universe sent you to me twice,
If you are ment to be in my life, you will be
If not, you have given me some very incredable
memories......

The first look of you walking into a book store with goofy glasses on, Spilling coffee all over yourself *Sighs*......
That memory is something that is irreplacable and I think back to fondly almost everyday.

Thank You for everything
No matter what happens
Thank you

]]> ~Sadgirl03 http://Sadgirl03.deviantart.com/journal/19582167/ http://Sadgirl03.deviantart.com/journal/19582167/ Thu, 24 Jul 2008 23:25:41 PDT Answer: It is most certian

Magick 8 Ball, Did he do it on porpous?
Answer: No Doubt!

Magick 8 Ball, Will I ever see him agian?
Answer: It Is Most Certian

Magick 8 ball, Dose he know?
Answer: The signs are positive

Magick 8 Ball, Is it receprocated?
Answer: The Outlook Is Favorable

Magick 8 Ball, Am I worth it?
Answer: Can't predict right now

I think the Magick 8 Ball is broken.

]]> ~Sadgirl03 http://Sadgirl03.deviantart.com/journal/19564961/ http://Sadgirl03.deviantart.com/journal/19564961/ Thu, 24 Jul 2008 00:17:07 PDT Absolutly no claim
That beast, that animal....
The one that starts with L
And ends in ove
I have no ownership of this thing.........



So why dose it still hurt?

]]> ~Sadgirl03 http://Sadgirl03.deviantart.com/journal/19475608/ http://Sadgirl03.deviantart.com/journal/19475608/ Sat, 19 Jul 2008 01:31:07 PDT It's a very drunk yet still a very Sexy One!
Apparently he thought he was Superman.....Agian
Able to leap knee high Arby's resturant signs in a single bound.
Didn't work did it there festus. LOL
The hole in your shin must be purty
Thats okay, I still think your sexy.
But I think you must have a little Irish in you




I bang on the door but she wont let me in
cause you're sick and tired of me reeking of gin
I knock on the doors from the front to the back
you left me a note telling me I should pack

I walk in the bar and the fellas all cheer
hey order me up a whiskey and beer
you ask me why I'm writing this poem
some call it a tavern, but I call it home

Fuck you I'm drunk!
Fuck you I'm drunk!
pour my beer down the sink
I've got more in the trunk
Fuck you I'm drunk!
Fuck you I'm drunk!
and I'm going to be drunk til the next time I'm drunk!

you've given me an option
you say I must choose
between you and the liquor
then I'll take the booze
jump on a bus
turn down to the south side
were I'll sit down an excersise my Irish pride

Fuck you I'm drunk!
Fuck you I'm drunk!
pour my beer down the sink
I've got more in the trunk
Fuck you I'm drunk! (Fuck You)
Fuck you I'm drunk!
and I'm going to be drunk till the next time I'm drunk!

~Drop Kick Murphy's

]]> ~Sadgirl03 http://Sadgirl03.deviantart.com/journal/19401369/ http://Sadgirl03.deviantart.com/journal/19401369/ Tue, 15 Jul 2008 00:31:18 PDT Im happy to be free
Free of the pain
Free of the guilt
Free of the jelousy
Free of the ignorance
Free of the sadness
Free of him!
If you would of run into me in a public place such as the mall or the grocery store back in December you wouldn't recognize me from what I am today!
I like what I am
I like what I've become
I like what I'm growing into
Its great to feel comfortable in my own skin agian.
The insecurity is still there
But I think he's gonna be with me for a little while longer.
But the good news is he's not so big, bad and scary as he use to be.
Doubt still stops in to say hi from time to time, but I've got him almost kicked to the curb.
As for lonlieness, He can kiss my ass!!!!!!!!!!
So things are doing better for the mamey! Rejoice all and bask in my glory of self assuredness and great joy.
To the sexiness of them all.......I had a blast sunday (You should see the bruises.....tee-hee) Please dont make me wait another month to have that kinda fun with you agian! Im a fiend for you and what you do....lol

]]> ~Sadgirl03 http://Sadgirl03.deviantart.com/journal/19381201/ http://Sadgirl03.deviantart.com/journal/19381201/ Sun, 13 Jul 2008 22:48:10 PDT Im sorry that my job is going so well for me and yours isn't.
Im sorry that I am able to move out of the house and into something better and your still where your at.
You have had a big hand in making me jaded and cynical, but im so moving past these petty things. But its hard to move past them when you keep trying to drag me back to them.
Please, Im done. Im stopping this here and now.
I need a life, I deserve a life, I deserve to move on.
Im sorry that your having a hard time moving on, but please, Let me.
But take pride in the fact that you have taught me many great things with your leaving....
I dont need anyone to take care of me, Not anymore
I am so much stronger than I thought I was
That money dose not make the world go round....Love dose that

I loved you, Mistakes were made on both sides, Things said and done that cant be taken back
But Im done, I need a break. Let me live my life, Please.

]]> ~Sadgirl03 http://Sadgirl03.deviantart.com/journal/19272612/ http://Sadgirl03.deviantart.com/journal/19272612/ Tue, 08 Jul 2008 11:56:41 PDT Ive alos been told that "Dont be a show off, no one likes an attention whore."
Ive also been told "The squeaky wheel gets the greese".

But what Ive found out in this day and age of money, want and greed the squeaky wheel just gets kicked to the curb and replaced by a new one. There is no repair involved, there is no attention, no need nor any want, Just replace it with a new one.

So, the big lesson here children is to just keep your mouth shut and if someone notices ya they notice ya, if they dont, well you just dont get your heart broken now do ya!

What a jaded way of looking at life, but as I've told you before, I was told "It is what it is"
I dont wish to live my life Introverted and Jaded, but I keep putting my heart out on the block and one of two things happen, it gets stomped on or it gets ignored.
Personally, when its ignored, thats the worst feeling of all, Its that empty, hollow feeling. At least pain is a tangable feeling........This however......This feeling of unimportance, the feeling of bieng used for one thing, this hollowness, this.........this.......this......this is a whole different animal. It feels as if it will never leave me. I will be half empty my whole life.
Maybe the one of fifteen years was right, Maybe I am not deserving of the things that i truley want and need.

One last thing before I go, I was also told once that "True love is the ability to give someone the power to hurt you, but trusting them enough not to."
I just dont have that kinda trust anymore.

One more step and I could fall away
If it happened would it matter?
And I can't tell if I should go or stay
Same old picture feel so hollow
How can anybody know what's best for me?
Another page I turn in shame
And my decisions brought me to my knees
I needed someone to blame

I feel so hollow
I feel so hollow
Time to do what's best for me I believe I can change

Once upon a time in broken dreams
Reflection's that I can't face
So hold your breath and make a wish for me
Take me to a better place
Time always seems to be passing by
It never waits for me
If I could do it all one more time
I wouldn't change a thing

I feel so hollow
I feel so hollow
I feel so hollow
I feel so hollow
Time to do what's best for me I believe I can change

]]> ~Sadgirl03 http://Sadgirl03.deviantart.com/journal/19212487/ http://Sadgirl03.deviantart.com/journal/19212487/ Sat, 05 Jul 2008 02:10:07 PDT The Deed,
The Words,
Not exactly what I wanted to say
Or how I wanted to say it
But done none the less
Cant read other no more
No clue whats in his head
Insecurity is setting in
Thats the worst hate I have in this world
Insecurity
Doubt
Fear
Im so through with these 3 jokers
They dont hang with the mamey no more
Well the insecurity dose
But he scares me
I dont know how to tell him to bounce out
But the streangth is returning
Maybe one day soon ill find the girl I once was
And maybe the sexiness will see that and think Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
Whilst scratching his chin
But hey..................
Whatevers Clever.

]]> ~Sadgirl03 http://Sadgirl03.deviantart.com/journal/19010200/ http://Sadgirl03.deviantart.com/journal/19010200/ Mon, 23 Jun 2008 21:26:34 PDT How do i tell him?
I use to be good at expressing myself, I use to know exactly what I wanted and when I went after it I almost always got it.
But I doubt myself now. Once Burned Twice Shy my Grandmother use to tell me.
I now find myself second guessing my first instincts, my gut feelings. They use to be so dead on, but after the one of 15 years left and tore my heart out my Mojo has gone. I use to be able to tell what people were thinking, I could get the upper hand so to speak, but thats gone now.
But the fact still is staring me boldly in the face..........You Care For This New One Amy, This Sexiest Of All men, This Good Good Man............and the sad part is I dont know how to tell him.
Now here in lies the cunundrum, One of my greatest quandries. He is leaving for what could be a long time.
Do I let him leave to do his duty without so much as a word to what is in my heart or do I open up and let him know just how I feel and risk the rejection and never seeing him agian? Or will he reciprocate the feelings? There is always that chance he could feel the same way, but the doubt creeps back in.
It feels like Im damned if I do and Im damned if I dont.
The one thing I am certian of is, When I asked the Universe to send me a freind and maybe more, He came into my life for a short while, then he left and i truley thought Id never see him agian.
After sometime had passed I agian asked the Universe to send me a friend maybe more and for the second time this man came into my life. He has everything I am looking for and wanting in a best friend and lover. I have been told by many gifted whitches that I trust and a few gifted readers that this is a good man who will be very good for me and that there is an excellent chance of us ending up together.
But agian, I second guesse and doubt my heart.

]]> ~Sadgirl03 http://Sadgirl03.deviantart.com/journal/18795309/ http://Sadgirl03.deviantart.com/journal/18795309/ Thu, 12 Jun 2008 03:09:34 PDT Things have changed in dramatic ways
To the point where'd you'd hardly recognize me
The one of 15 years up and went away
and I no longer be the missus but once agian just plain Amy.
Since the leaving and the parting and the grieving and the sorrow and the bitterness and the heart ache and the lonly nights and then suddenly one night hallelujia praise be to jesus you realize in one word "Freedom" and the fog lifts and the light shines through and men come flocking to your door to give you just what you want without all the grief and mommy issues.
How I had missed men, the touch, the smell, the feel, rough hands, large arms, hairy chests with sexy tattoo's I said God Damn.
Out of all the passer bys and one night stands and friendly fucks and freinds with bennifits, there is this one, and can I just say WOW. This one makes me weak in the knees and the heart race out of the chest. The things he dose and how he dose them he is a blessed blessed man and I just can't get enough.
Addict I cry, you've made me a junkie. I blame not myself for you did this to me with your evil sinful ways and the amazing member of which i crave......Can I get an Amen Brothas and Sistahs
So Ive rambled alot of nonsense and muddied the waters but its clear as crystal to those of us with special needs. Bwahahahahahahahaha
To the sexiness of them all, make me beg, you know that gets me off!

]]> ~Sadgirl03 http://Sadgirl03.deviantart.com/journal/13195481/ http://Sadgirl03.deviantart.com/journal/13195481/ Sat, 02 Jun 2007 22:35:01 PDT
The waiting continues and the yearning is eating away at me. Breaking me down ever so slowly till I become compliant, supple and plyable.
Is this his plan, Is this what he wants, Because my desires have been made ever so clear.
I must be a very spoiled little girl because I am most certianly not use to bieng made to wait this long. I feel as if Im going to explode, errupt, overflow.
But I am learning paitence slowly but surely and Im hoping these painfull torturing lessons will pay off.
He must come to me soon.

Think ill get high now! ]]> ~Sadgirl03 http://Sadgirl03.deviantart.com/journal/12477212/ http://Sadgirl03.deviantart.com/journal/12477212/ Thu, 05 Apr 2007 22:43:46 PDT You got me wrapped around your finger, ah, ha, ha.
Do you have to let it linger? Do you have to, do you have to,
Do you have to let it linger?
~The Cranberries

The Waiting wears on my paitence.
And my paitence is wearing thin.
Im not use to be made to wait for what I want.
I know you know. Dont Pretend you dont.
How good could could it be?
Theres only one way to find out.

Think ill get high now! ]]> ~Sadgirl03 http://Sadgirl03.deviantart.com/journal/12344825/ http://Sadgirl03.deviantart.com/journal/12344825/ Tue, 27 Mar 2007 02:30:51 PDT
I wanna Get High.....Right Now

I Need to go see 300 agian. That is the perfect example of how the perfect man should look like.....WOOF

I need Bam Majera to leave that bitch Missy and come and play Jackass with me.....TeeHee

I want the Firemen in my life to Stop stalking me.....WHAT THE HELL MAN.

I need to go to the tanning booths.......I put on shorts yesterday and I relized I was a really white Irish chick......LOL

I wanna go golfing tommorow

I need about a grand to spend on clothes and shoes.

I want to go home to Ireland and spend some time in Galway Bay.

Don Holley.......Dont make me beg........I miss you......ALOT. I Need to talk to you aigan.

I wanna gigiggity this one guys shamogyan but he dosnt know ive got the excitment for him.....LOL....Get around that one if you can.

I wanna cast that one spell in Galeic and see if it really works......Watch Out....Im gonna getcha........teehee.

Think ill get high now! ]]> ~Sadgirl03 http://Sadgirl03.deviantart.com/journal/11583010/ http://Sadgirl03.deviantart.com/journal/11583010/ Sat, 27 Jan 2007 01:50:19 PST
I need a massage.........right now
I want Sean Bean to spank me and call me a bad girl
I need a new hair color
I want a Million Dollars

I want to go live on a deserted island that is inhabated by trained monkeys butlers and half naked, sexy natives who worsip me as there goddess and live to do my every little silly whim.

I want my Husband to stop bieng such a Dick Head....Im just this close to strangling him.

I need to take my vacation to Hudderdsfield Yourkshire England. Then when I get there I need to decide if im ever comming home.

I want my toenails painted shamrock green (Cause im Irish )

I want my daughter to stop growing up........She scares the hell outta me.)

I wanna talk to Don Holley agian and i want it to be like it was before.


I wanna have a four way with 4 men who have served in the 4 branches of the military.....
Army, Navy,Airforce Marines. Just to do my patriotic duty for our boys in uniform.

I need to go campining this summer in the High Uintas So I can dance naked in the natural moonlight and finish my level 1 of The Natural Green Witch for my coven. LOL.....wouldnt that be a sight to come across if you were a lost hiker.

And finally i nned to go to sleep

Think ill get high now! ]]> ~Sadgirl03 http://Sadgirl03.deviantart.com/journal/11535420/ http://Sadgirl03.deviantart.com/journal/11535420/ Mon, 22 Jan 2007 20:52:57 PST
I just got done with a Yahoo confrence with some of my good friends.
As much as I enjoyed it and As much as i love each and everyone of those people.......3 stood out in my mind the most.
And Yes, they were men.
Now Granted, ive never laid eyes on these men in my life. Ive never seen a picture of them and until tonight have never heard any of there voices. But to me these men are Sexy?
I can closes my eyes and the ugliest man, who happens to have a sexy voice can become my greatest wet dream.
But take a sexy and handsome man and put Tiny Tims voice on him and thats something that sticks with you for life.
It is the voice that lets others know who we are...where were from. It portrays emotion.
There are also many types of a sexy voice.
For instance....Sean Bean.....Low and rugged, raspy at times with that beautiful Northern Yorkshire accent. And its just a bonus that he is fucking sexy as hell.
Another instance. Seth MacFarlane. Yes Family Guy Seth MacFarlane. Now he has a deep very sensual voice. Not to mention his increadible talent with his voice. Hes Very Funny.....another sexy bonus in my book........and hes just cute as shit.
So for me to claim that these 3 men i talked with tonight are sexy is a big leap.......but the voice can never lie. So i will stick by my claim that they are sexy.
(And one of them is in the Military so you know hes gotta be just yummy.)
Ok....Ive RAmbled on way to much. Teehee.

Think ill get high now! ]]> ~Sadgirl03 http://Sadgirl03.deviantart.com/journal/10723767/ http://Sadgirl03.deviantart.com/journal/10723767/ Tue, 14 Nov 2006 13:57:08 PST
And I just dont understand why. Are they so miserable in there own pathetic little lives that to act like a dick makes them feel superior to total strangers.
Well I have a few words for you little man.........You are pathetic. Its obvious that you have no real life of your own so you must butt into the lives of those you are jelouse of and try to make us feel bad for your shortcommings.
You try to order us around because this is the only place you can do so. Im sorry if your tiered of bieng picked on in Real Life, just dont bring it online and try to make those of us with Real Lives come down to your level.
Go ahead and live in your little fantasy world, just dont try to ruin my Real World. Cause in the end, im bigger and stronger and Yes......More Popular than you......LMGDFAO

Think ill get high now! ]]> ~Sadgirl03 http://Sadgirl03.deviantart.com/journal/10551635/ http://Sadgirl03.deviantart.com/journal/10551635/ Sun, 29 Oct 2006 18:04:00 PST
I have woken up at 3 am every night this past week to my cupboards opening and closing by themselves and a horrible cold throughout the whole house.

I think someones in the Halloween spirit. LOL.

I dont care that there are ghosts in my house, just let me sleep guys. This 3 in the morning Bullshit has got to stop soon. Hahahahahahaha

On a diffret note, but still feeling Restless........Lucky, I had fun with you last night, please dont be a stranger, you have given me a yearning and you know what for....LOL, what I got last night just wasnt enough. Teehee.

Think ill get high now! ]]> ~Sadgirl03 http://Sadgirl03.deviantart.com/journal/10105315/ http://Sadgirl03.deviantart.com/journal/10105315/ Sun, 17 Sep 2006 19:53:38 PDT


Last Friday Don Holley had a Massive Corinary. He was all of 35 years old.


I know your gonna be OK and Im so happy about that.
Things were said and done but I never wanted you hurt.
I dont like what you said or what you did,
But your health is way more important than any little petty
Argument or any He said She said High School Bullshit.

I miss the friend I had in you. I miss smoking weed on my couch or in Scotty's Garage. I miss poking fun at Justin and Tony with you. I just miss you.

Please get better and come home to us. This is your chance to help us all to get back to normal.

Think ill get high now! ]]> ~Sadgirl03 http://Sadgirl03.deviantart.com/journal/9558662/ http://Sadgirl03.deviantart.com/journal/9558662/ Mon, 31 Jul 2006 20:04:22 PDT
I play a game known as Vampires! The Dark Alleyway. Or to everyone else, RAvenBlack City. And i did my Right of Passage yesterday. I got killed for my effortts. LOL, Fuck yeah! Oh well, Such is the ocupational hazzards of a Vampire.

In other news, Its no longer 105 degrees in SLC and it rained today! Yeah..........bout fucking time too.

Think ill get high now! ]]> ~Sadgirl03 http://Sadgirl03.deviantart.com/journal/9032834/ http://Sadgirl03.deviantart.com/journal/9032834/ Sun, 11 Jun 2006 00:16:30 PDT


Think ill get high now! ]]> ~Sadgirl03 http://Sadgirl03.deviantart.com/journal/8837117/ http://Sadgirl03.deviantart.com/journal/8837117/ Sun, 21 May 2006 16:55:04 PDT
Think ill get high now! ]]> ~Sadgirl03 http://Sadgirl03.deviantart.com/journal/8536100/ http://Sadgirl03.deviantart.com/journal/8536100/ Thu, 20 Apr 2006 20:47:27 PDT And frolicked in the autumn mist in a land called Honah Lee

Little Jackie Paper loved that rascal Puff,
and brought him strings and sealing wax and other fancy stuff. Oh


Together they would travel on a boat with billowed sail
Jackie kept a lookout perched on Puff's gigantic tail,
Noble kings and princes would bow whene'er they came,
Pirate ships would lower their flag when Puff roared out his name. Oh


A dragon lives forever but not so little boys
Painted wings and giant rings make way for other toys.
One grey night it happened, Jackie Paper came no more
And Puff that mighty dragon, he ceased his fearless roar.

His head was bent in sorrow, green scales fell like rain,
Puff no longer went to play along the cherry lane.
Without his life-long friend, Puff could not be brave,
So Puff that mighty dragon sadly slipped into his cave.

To all my Herb Lovin Bretheren out there, Have a Happy and High 420!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Think ill get high now! ]]> ~Sadgirl03 http://Sadgirl03.deviantart.com/journal/8313458/ http://Sadgirl03.deviantart.com/journal/8313458/ Thu, 30 Mar 2006 11:06:51 PST
Grandma Doesn't Know Everything

Little Tony was staying with his grandmother for a few days. He'd been
playing outside with the other kids for a while when he came into the house
and asked her, "Grandma, what is that called when 2 people are sleeping in
the same room and one is on top of the other?"

She was a little taken aback, but decided to tell him the truth. "It's
called sexual intercourse, darling."

Little Tony just said, "Oh, OK" and went back outside to talk and play
with the other kids.

A few minutes later he came back in and said angrily, "Grandma, it is not
called sexual intercourse! It's called Bunk Beds!" " and Jimmy's Mom wants
to talk to you"!!

Think ill get high now! ]]> ~Sadgirl03 http://Sadgirl03.deviantart.com/journal/8256012/ http://Sadgirl03.deviantart.com/journal/8256012/ Fri, 24 Mar 2006 13:54:02 PST
Donny, I cant belive you sold your friends out for sick joke. Did you want revenge? Did you feel left out and isolated so you thought a little bit of revenge would be in order? Well, The person you were targeting got off because of a little bit of help from Justin. But your best friend will probobly be fired......HE HAS 4 KIDS YOU PRICK!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I think about the times you sat in my house and smoked my weed and talked about Scott like he was your brother. Oh Well, you just think its friendly fire and as long as it dosnt affect you.

SELFISH, NASTY, MEAN, ARROGANT, HORRIBLE MAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Its one thing to call me a fat nasty cunt, but to sell out your whole crew including your best friend for a vendetta.....all i have to say is watch out......you never fuck with a witch or her friends!

Think ill get high now! ]]> ~Sadgirl03 http://Sadgirl03.deviantart.com/journal/8126340/ http://Sadgirl03.deviantart.com/journal/8126340/ Fri, 10 Mar 2006 23:07:34 PST Or do I just watch my mouth and behave myself?
But something must be said,
I read what you wrote and it made me sad.
Its not normal.
Its not fair, nor is it correct.
Its twisted and corrupt.
Some would almost call it Insane.
You are so worried she will be taken away That you are willing to purger yourself.
You may feel Justified,
You just look silly.
You said “More Than One”,
But you seemed worried over others.
Hypocrocies know no Bounds.
The only advice I have to offer is
Grab Your shovel and prepare to dig yourself out of the shit.

Think ill get high now! ]]> ~Sadgirl03 http://Sadgirl03.deviantart.com/journal/7873571/ http://Sadgirl03.deviantart.com/journal/7873571/ Sun, 12 Feb 2006 12:24:30 PST
But the good thing is, St. Patricks Day is the next holliday up and since im Irish, im required to love it, And i do! Its the start of spring, and theres tons of Guinesse to drink! Woot!

Think ill get high now! ]]> ~Sadgirl03 http://Sadgirl03.deviantart.com/journal/7774841/ http://Sadgirl03.deviantart.com/journal/7774841/ Wed, 01 Feb 2006 19:24:40 PST
In the Druid Pagan Days of old they use to celebrate a holliday named Imblog. This represents the Union between The Sungod and The Earth godess Bridget. There copulation and the promise of Spring.

To me its a lovley holliday, It reminds me that spring is on its way....even though it may seem like winter is endless, and it may be grey and cold outside, there are things going on in the earth that we cannot yet see. It gives me hope.
Let the warmth come, Im ready!

Think ill get high now! ]]> ~Sadgirl03 http://Sadgirl03.deviantart.com/journal/7512723/ http://Sadgirl03.deviantart.com/journal/7512723/ Wed, 04 Jan 2006 21:49:41 PST
I heard you crying loud,
all the way across town
You've been searching for that someone,
and it's me out on the prowl
As you sit around feeling sorry for yourself
Don't get lonely now
Dry your whining eyes
I'm just roaming for the moment
Sleazin' my back yard so don't get so uptight
you been thinking about ditching me

No time to search the world around
Cause you know where I'll be found
When I come around

I heard it all before
So don't knock down my door
I'm a loser and a user so I don't need no accuser
to try and slag me down because I know I'm right
So go do what you like
Make sure you do it wise
You may find out that your selfdoubt means nothing
was ever there

You can't go forcing something if it's just
not right

No time to search the world around
Cause you know where I'll be found
When I come around (2 times)
When I come around (sev times)
~Greenday

So Christmas was OK, Everything went all right. Kids got what they wanted and everything was peaceful. Donny didnt show his face until after New Years, Then he was whining the whole time, But the Mother Fucker was looking so HOT. I can forgive him almost anything for looking that fine! But anyways........so, My friend Tony has gotten Cancer agian and im devistated, and i have been so sick with Female problems im having Surgery this friday, But its all good, Just gonna be down for a day or two, then maybe i wont be so sick.......so anyway, thanks for reading my increadibly depressing Post.

Think ill get high now! ]]> ~Sadgirl03 http://Sadgirl03.deviantart.com/journal/7277231/ http://Sadgirl03.deviantart.com/journal/7277231/ Sat, 10 Dec 2005 20:17:45 PST You gotta chase a dream
One that?s all your own
Before it slips away

When you?re flying high
Take my heart along
I?ll be the harmony
To every lonely song
But you?ll learn to play

When you?re soaring through the air
I?ll be your solid ground
Take every chance you dare
I?ll still be there
When you come back down
When you come back down

I keep looking up
Waiting your return
My greatest fear will be
That you will crash and burn
And I won?t feel your fire

I?ll be the other hand
That always holds a line
Connecting in between
Your sweet heart and mine
I?m strung out on that wire

And I?ll be on the other end
To hear you when you call
Angel you were born to fly
And if you get too high
I?ll catch you when you fall
Catch you when you fall

The memories, the sunshine
Every new day brings
I know the sky is calling
Angel let me help you with your wings

When you?re soaring through the air
I?ll be your solid ground
Take every chance you dare
I?ll still be there
When you come back down

Take every chance you dare
I?ll still be there
When you come back down
When you come back down


~Nickle Creek

So Donny and Scotty arnt speaking. Its all this horrible woman Ashleys fault. Now a 20 year friendship is ruined and im heart broken. Scott is upset, Donnys lonley and im caught in the middle. (did that sound dirty to you too?) I just wished that everything could go back to normal for Christmas. That is my Christmas wish That everyone can be happy and friends for christmas.......and since i belive in Karma i hope it comes back around to me!

Think ill get high now! ]]> ~Sadgirl03 http://Sadgirl03.deviantart.com/journal/7092998/ http://Sadgirl03.deviantart.com/journal/7092998/ Sun, 20 Nov 2005 00:18:39 PST
Nobody likes you...
Everyone left you...
They're all out without you...
Having fun...

Where have all the bastards gone?
The underbelly's accidental high
The dummy failed the crash test
Collecting unemployment checks
You're f**king only along for the ride

Where have all the riots gone?
As your city's model gets pulverized
What's in love is now in debt
On your birth certificate
So strike the f**king match to light this fuse

The television's an obstructionist
And you don't even know that you exist
Stand still wish to die
You better run for your f**king life

It's not over 'till your underground
It's not hope before it's too late
It's cities burnin'
It's not my burden
It's not hope before it's too late

There's nothing left to analyze

Where will all the martyrs go when the virus cures itself?
And where will we all go when it's too late?

And don't look back

You're not the Jesus of Suburbia
The St. Jimmy's opinion of
Your father's raise and your mother's love
That's made the idiot America

It's not over 'till your underground
It's not hope before it's too late
It's cities burnin'
It's not my burden
It's not hope before it's too late

She said I can't take this place
I'm leaving it behind

Well she said I can't take this town
I'm leaving you tonight



~Green Day

So i have just the best friends inthe whole wide world.
i have friends that live jsut down the street,
The other side of the country,
Half way around the world.
Thats a blessed person for sure that can count that many friends.
You know you can count a person as a friend when youve had a bad day
and they just show up to your house with a sack full of weed just to get you high!




Dont forget to vote agian on Hot or Not.......I know, I know, Its so tottally shoallow, but Justin and I have new Pix up and we want hight ratings....LOL.



Scotty Too Hotty
[link]

Donny Boyeeee
[link]

Justin so fine
[link]

And Me, Miss Amy
[link]

Think ill get high now! ]]> ~Sadgirl03 http://Sadgirl03.deviantart.com/journal/6967212/ http://Sadgirl03.deviantart.com/journal/6967212/ Sat, 05 Nov 2005 23:30:22 PST
St. Jimmy's comin' down across the alleyway
Up on the boulevard like a zip gun on parade
Light of a silhouette
He's insubordinate
Coming at you on the count of 1,2,1,2,3,4!

My name is Jimmy and you better not wear it out
Suicide commando that your momma talked about
King of the forty thieves
And I'm here to represent
That needle in the vein of the establishment

I'm the patron saint of the denial
With an angel face and a taste for suicidal

Cigarettes and ramen and a little bag of dope
I am the son of a bitch and Edgar Allen Poe
Raised in the city under a halo of lights
The product of war and fear that we've been victimized

I'm the patron saint of the denial
With an angel face and a taste for suicidal

ARE YOU TALKING TO ME?

I'll give you something to cry about.

ST. JIMMY!

My name is St. Jimmy I'm a son of a gun
I'm the one that's from the way outside (St. Jimmy)
I'm a teenage assassin executing some fun
In the cult of the life of crime. (St. Jimmy)

I really hate to say it but I told you so
So shut your mouth before I shoot you down old boy (St. Jimmy)
Welcome to the club and give me some blood
And the resident leader at the lost and found (St. Jimmy)

It's comedy and tragedy
It's St. Jimmy
And that's my nameeeeeee...and don't wear it out!


~Green Day

So here is everything that is shallow and vain, and yes i have fallen pray to it. Go to these links and rate me and my buddies super hot shit baby yeah!

Scotty Too Hotty
[link]

Donny Boyeeeeeee
[link]

Justin so fine
[link]

And Me, Miss Amy
[link]

Think ill get high now! ]]> ~Sadgirl03 http://Sadgirl03.deviantart.com/journal/6868642/ http://Sadgirl03.deviantart.com/journal/6868642/ Tue, 25 Oct 2005 21:29:41 PDT
Do you have the time
to listen to me whine
About nothing and everything
all at once
I am one of those
Melodramatic fools
Neurotic to the bone
No doubt about it

Sometimes I give myself the creeps
Sometimes my mind plays tricks on me
It all keeps adding up
I think I'm cracking up
Am I just paranoid?
Or I'm just stoned

I went to a shrink
To analyze my dreams
She says it's lack of sex
that's bringing me down
I went to a whore
He said my life's a bore
So quit my whining cause
it's bringing her down

Sometimes I give myself the creeps
Sometimes my mind plays tricks on me
It all keeps adding up
I think I'm cracking up
Am I just paranoid?
Uh, yuh, yuh, ya

Grasping to control
So I better hold on

Sometimes I give myself the creeps
Sometimes my mind plays tricks on me
It all keeps adding up
I think I'm cracking up
Am I just paranoid?
Or I'm just stoned

~Green Day

So I have Issues. But then agian who dosent. My issues deal in the realms of Jelousy, and bieng a revengfull bitch.
So its my understanding from a conversation i had this evening with a very close friend of you know who....thats right, HIM, that he is smothering this new girlfriend of his.....My god man, it hasnt even been a week yet. hehehehehehehe. I have derived great pleasure from this news. That is so wrong, but it feels so good. Like I said, I have Issues.

Think ill get high now! ]]> ~Sadgirl03 http://Sadgirl03.deviantart.com/journal/6845243/ http://Sadgirl03.deviantart.com/journal/6845243/ Sun, 23 Oct 2005 12:21:19 PDT
Take away the sensation inside
Bitter sweet migraine in my head
Its like a throbbing tooth ache of the mind
I can't take this feeling anymore

Drain the pressure from the swelling,
The sensations overwhelming,
Give me a long kiss goodnight
and everything will be alright
Tell me that I won't feel a thing
So give me Novacaine

Out of body and out of mind
Kiss the demons out of my dreams
I get the funny feeling, that?s alright
Jimmy says it's better than here,
I?ll tell you why

Drain the pressure from the swelling,
The sensations overwhelming,
Give me a long kiss goodnight
and everything will be alright
Tell me that I won't feel a thing,
So give me Novacaine

Oh Novacaine

Drain the pressure from the swelling,
The sensations overwhelming
Give me a long kiss goodnight
and everything will be alright
Tell me Jimmy I won't feel a thing,
So give me Novacaine
~Green Day

Please Doctor, insert the needle into my eye and drain the puss that has built up in my brain. I cant stand this pain anymore please put me out of my misery. But maybe i need to feel the pain so i know im alive. But maybe i need to feel the pain so i know that what is happining is real and not my fucked up imagination. Isnt that what life is anyway........pain and puss and miseryand fucked up things. Teach me how to live in the real world so i can deal with the dissapointment that is constantly handed to me. Drain the pressure from the swelling, the sensations overwhelming. If the pain is not drained i will exploed into a tiny million pieces of flaming wreckage that was once a happy beautiful woman ....................KABOOM!!!!!!!

Think ill get high now! ]]> ~Sadgirl03 http://Sadgirl03.deviantart.com/journal/6812924/ http://Sadgirl03.deviantart.com/journal/6812924/ Wed, 19 Oct 2005 19:18:24 PDT
Take away the sensation inside
Bitter sweet migraine in my head
Its like a throbbing tooth ache of the mind
I can't take this feeling anymore

Drain the pressure from the swelling,
The sensations overwhelming,
Give me a long kiss goodnight
and everything will be alright
Tell me that I won't feel a thing
So give me Novacaine

Out of body and out of mind
Kiss the demons out of my dreams
I get the funny feeling, that?s alright
Jimmy says it's better than here,
I?ll tell you why

Drain the pressure from the swelling,
The sensations overwhelming,
Give me a long kiss goodnight
and everything will be alright
Tell me that I won't feel a thing,
So give me Novacaine

Oh Novacaine

Drain the pressure from the swelling,
The sensations overwhelming
Give me a long kiss goodnight
and everything will be alright
Tell me Jimmy I won't feel a thing,
So give me Novacaine
~Green Day

I think everythings gonna be just fine. He was all freaked out over the whole me wanting to fuck him and him wanting to fuck me and Justin bieng cool with it. So the only way he knew how to act was just to avoid me. And me bieng the over sensitive flower that i am took it to heart. Justin spent this morning with him and explained things to him in a way that helped him to be more comfortable, and he actually spent this afternoon with me......nothing happened, but he was so funny and cute and talked my ear off and i just loved every second of it. So im just gonna chillax and let nature take its course, he told justin i was a so hot and he wanted to have a piece of me for along time now......(DUH!) but with what his wife had done to him he was having a hard time dealing with this situation........So im cool hes cool and soon, very very soon i will have him (In Me!) LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Think ill get high now! ]]> ~Sadgirl03 http://Sadgirl03.deviantart.com/journal/6787039/ http://Sadgirl03.deviantart.com/journal/6787039/ Sun, 16 Oct 2005 21:16:07 PDT
Take away the sensation inside
Bitter sweet migraine in my head
Its like a throbbing tooth ache of the mind
I can't take this feeling anymore

Drain the pressure from the swelling,
The sensations overwhelming,
Give me a long kiss goodnight
and everything will be alright
Tell me that I won't feel a thing
So give me Novacaine

Out of body and out of mind
Kiss the demons out of my dreams
I get the funny feeling, that?s alright
Jimmy says it's better than here,
I?ll tell you why

Drain the pressure from the swelling,
The sensations overwhelming,
Give me a long kiss goodnight
and everything will be alright
Tell me that I won't feel a thing,
So give me Novacaine

Oh Novacaine

Drain the pressure from the swelling,
The sensations overwhelming
Give me a long kiss goodnight
and everything will be alright
Tell me Jimmy I won't feel a thing,
So give me Novacaine
~Green Day

Hes Home, and i dont think hes none to pleased to see me........He was very cold and very distant........he made a point to stay away from me all night long and we were in Wendover Nv. Gambling, celebrating his home comming. Im a little bit more than upset.

Think ill get high now! ]]> ~Sadgirl03 http://Sadgirl03.deviantart.com/journal/6726076/ http://Sadgirl03.deviantart.com/journal/6726076/ Mon, 10 Oct 2005 00:25:55 PDT
Starry nights city lights coming down over me
Skyscrapers and stargazers in my head
Are we we are, are we we are the waiting unknown
This dirty town was burning down in my dreams
Lost and found city bound in my dreams

And screaming
Are we we are, are we we are the waiting
And screaming
Are we we are, are we we are the waiting

Forget me nots and second thoughts live in isolation
Heads or tails and fairytales in my mind
Are we we are, are we we are the waiting unknown
The rage and love, the story of my life
The Jesus of suburbia is a lie

And screaming
Are we we are, are we we are the waiting
And screaming
Are we we are, are we we are the waiting unknown
Are we we are, are we we are the waiting
And screaming
Are we we are, are we we are the waiting unknown
Are we we are, are we we are the waiting unknown
~Green Day

Ive Decided hes never coming home. Hes just gonna stay down there cutting down trees forever and ever.........When i heard his voice on the phone say the words "Indefinate" i just about died.....Sigh.

Think ill get high now! ]]> ~Sadgirl03 http://Sadgirl03.deviantart.com/journal/6664042/ http://Sadgirl03.deviantart.com/journal/6664042/ Sun, 02 Oct 2005 21:53:01 PDT
So he was suppose to have left Houston Friday afternoon and be home Sunday afternoon (today), But his company sent him to Lake Charles LA. and he wont be home till next week...........GAH................its just never soon enough.
Its the barrell of cocks all over agian.

Think ill get high now! ]]> ~Sadgirl03 http://Sadgirl03.deviantart.com/journal/6576121/ http://Sadgirl03.deviantart.com/journal/6576121/ Thu, 22 Sep 2005 19:12:18 PDT
Things i Need:
New Shoes
A OBGYN Exam
Some Insanity Pills
A Babysitter
To get LAID........NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!
A chocolete chip cookie
Money
A Big Hairy Green Eyed Man.


Things i wonder about:
Do my cats have parties when im not home
Do I smoke Way toooooo much weed
Am i smoking enough weed
How do republicans sleep at night
Am i getting fatter or am i just getting shorter
Why men expect us to be all shaved and trimmed "Down There" but with them its like the '70's all over agian with the Penis Fro

Think ill get high now! ]]> ~Sadgirl03 http://Sadgirl03.deviantart.com/journal/6574123/ http://Sadgirl03.deviantart.com/journal/6574123/ Thu, 22 Sep 2005 15:33:05 PDT
Hes Staying..........thats right, he told me last night.........I just cant go, gotta stay.

YIPPEE for me, Going to Port Of Call Pub tommorow night and im gonna get him Drunk then im gonna get me drunk and then well see what happens.

Think ill get high now! ]]> ~Sadgirl03 http://Sadgirl03.deviantart.com/journal/6512316/ http://Sadgirl03.deviantart.com/journal/6512316/ Thu, 15 Sep 2005 14:17:12 PDT Yes i have new haor agian.
Its sooooooooooooo cute.
so diffrent from what it was a month ago.
So i know i sound empty headed and full of myself
but i havnt written in my journal for so long i need to think of something so
Here ya go.......Check out my new do.

Think ill get high now! ]]> ~Sadgirl03 http://Sadgirl03.deviantart.com/journal/6383309/ http://Sadgirl03.deviantart.com/journal/6383309/ Wed, 31 Aug 2005 23:08:12 PDT The lunatic is on the grass.
Remembering games and daisy chains and laughs.
Got to keep the loonies on the path.

The lunatic is in the hall.
The lunatics are in my hall.
The paper holds their folded faces to the floor
And every day the paper boy brings more.

And if the dam breaks open many years too soon
And if there is no room upon the hill
And if your head explodes with dark forebodings too
I'll see you on the dark side of the moon.

The lunatic is in my head.
The lunatic is in my head
You raise the blade, you make the change
You re-arrange me 'til I'm sane.
You lock the door
And throw away the key
There's someone in my head but it's not me.

And if the cloud bursts, thunder in your ear
You shout and no one seems to hear.
And if the band you're in starts playing different tunes
I'll see you on the dark side of the moon.

"I can't think of anything to say except...
I think it's marvelous! HaHaHa!"
All that you touch
All that you see
All that you taste
All you feel.
All that you love
All that you hate
All you distrust
All you save.
All that you give
All that you deal
All that you buy,
beg, borrow or steal.
All you create
All you destroy
All that you do
All that you say.
All that you eat
And everyone you meet
All that you slight
And everyone you fight.
All that is now
All that is gone
All that's to come
and everything under the sun is in tune
but the sun is eclipsed by the moon.

"There is no dark side of the moon really. Matter of fact it's all dark."




~Pink Floyd

Lemons arnt for Just Lemonade folks.........its been fused with this incredable substance known as WEED and then a new product is born. Lemony Trainwreck...........Woo Hoo.......im seeing things right now that ive never seen on weed.......the walls are dripping crayons, My cats are talking too each other, My fish have become cartoons and my hands ore so fucking huge.........Im surpirised i can type as well as i am......hehehehehehehehehehehehe.......Well see ya later folks, Im floating off to bed now........its not under my own power, its just happining.

Think ill get high now! ]]> ~Sadgirl03 http://Sadgirl03.deviantart.com/journal/6336468/ http://Sadgirl03.deviantart.com/journal/6336468/ Fri, 26 Aug 2005 18:31:01 PDT Get a good job with good pay and you're okay.
Money, it's a gas.
Grab that cash with both hands and make a stash.
New car, caviar, four star daydream,
Think I'll buy me a football team.

Money, get back.
I'm all right Jack keep your hands off of my stack.
Money, it's a hit.
Don't give me that do goody good bullshit.
I'm in the high-fidelity first class traveling set
And I think I need a Lear jet.

Money, it's a crime.
Share it fairly but don't take a slice of my pie.
Money, so they say
Is the root of all evil today.
But if you ask for a raise it's no surprise that they're
giving none away.
~Pink Floyd

Ok, So ive had a very strange day today..........Not bad just strange.
Now for those of you who dont know me too well im from SLC Utah. And Utah is full of Mormons...and im kinda one. I was brought up to belive that Magic in any form was evil and from the Devil. and i belived that until I was about 14. Then wierd things started to happen to me. Things like other worldly experiences....ghosts and the like. It wasnt until 3 years ago when I worked for a flower shop here in my home town. My Boss at the time is a Wiccan Witch. She explained alot to me and why certian things happen to me and why certian spirits are attracted to me. Since then ive given White magick a chance. And its been very helpful.

So my story of today begins with yesterday afternoon. I was speaking with my old boss at her shop and was explaining to her some of the money troubles my family and I have been experienceing over tha past month....its nothing permenant, just a temporary problem. So Sherry goves me a "GoodLuck Money Come To Me" Candle. So last night i burned it and did everything i was suppose to do in accordance with this special candle.

This morning i get up and head to work. My boss Kathy sent me home because there was nothing to do. I thought to myself "Damn...I really need the money." But i get home and the mails in....im sorting throughthe mail.....and there on the bottom is Justin's bonus check wich wasnt suppose to come for another 2 weeks. and it was for $2500.00 wich is $1000.00 more than we expected.

So, theres one of todays money suprises. about an hour later Kathy called me back into work.....there was a huge wedding that came in that needed to be done immediatly...well i got it done in about 2 hours but she paid me for 6 hours as she felt bad for calling me back in ater sending me home....there was a extra $100.00 bucks i wasnt expecting.

So....i get home to find out that Justin had sold our boat for $200.00 dollars more than we had advertised.......So theres an extra $800.00 dollars i wasnt expecting today.

So....the last surprise of the day comes when i went to the grocery store to pick up something for dinner. I get back out my car and put the grocery's in the trunk and return the cart to the cart return when i noticed the cart in front of me had a rumpled up paper bag in the bottom of it....i picked up the bag and there was $80.00 in it.....so i thought i really needed to do the right thing and turn it in at the coustomer service counter......the coustomer service rep told me "You might as well take it home cause our night time manager will just pocket it for himself."

Woo Hoo...........i came into almost $3500.00 dollars today.
I did however remeber the laws of three and my Karma...i gave about $300.00 of it to my really good friends who are in really bad money troubles.

Think ill get high now! ]]> ~Sadgirl03 http://Sadgirl03.deviantart.com/journal/6275444/ http://Sadgirl03.deviantart.com/journal/6275444/ Fri, 19 Aug 2005 23:02:21 PDT
Anybody out there withint he sound of my voice......Go see The 40 Year Old Virgin. That was one of the funniest movies ive seen in a long long time. I dont wanna ruin it for ya'll but the part when he gets his chest waxed.......I sprayed coke outta my nose! And please stay for the credits....Its Worth it! I Promise.....it put the song solo of Afternoon Delight on Anchorman to shame!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Think ill get high now! ]]> ~Sadgirl03 http://Sadgirl03.deviantart.com/journal/6246931/ http://Sadgirl03.deviantart.com/journal/6246931/ Tue, 16 Aug 2005 20:13:47 PDT
How excited am i? Green Day is comming to SLC and i was really bummed cause im in love with Billie Jo Armstrong and i wasnt going to be able to go. *Sniff Sniff* but now ive got my tickets and im ready to face Billie Jo. *Sigh* YIPPEE for me.

In other news im going back to art school. Its been 12 years since i went to art school and im scared to death but im going back anyway. So there ya have it.

Think ill get high now! ]]> ~Sadgirl03 http://Sadgirl03.deviantart.com/journal/6187227/ http://Sadgirl03.deviantart.com/journal/6187227/ Wed, 10 Aug 2005 10:53:31 PDT
I need a candy bar....Right now
A new house.
A boob job
My dog to stop chewing up my shoes
$12,000.00
To shave my legs

Think ill get high now! ]]> ~Sadgirl03