http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:Saphin&section=today deviantART RSS for by:Saphin en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Mon, 14 Dec 2009 18:29:32 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://Saphin.deviantart.com/journal/27511055/ http://Saphin.deviantart.com/journal/27511055/ Wed, 30 Sep 2009 19:40:59 PDT
BUT!

While out to pick up a pizza I stopped at the school bookstore and bought a sketchbook, some pencils, a fine point ink pen (not a sharpie), and a few erasers. Came to about $30. I decided I'd draw 1 comic a day based on something that happened to me that day, or just a funny idea I had. I'm gonna keep it up as long as I can. Hopefully the end results will be hilarious AND insightful!

I thought it'd be an interesting idea. I've already got some ideas for comics on the slow days (mostly weekends). I just wish I had a room mate I LIKED talking to so I could write them into the comic (comically of course).

Man I should've just asked my friend if he wanted to split rent on an apt when I had the chance last year...

]]> ~Saphin http://Saphin.deviantart.com/journal/26515218/ http://Saphin.deviantart.com/journal/26515218/ Mon, 10 Aug 2009 21:16:48 PDT
I got a new apartment 1 floor up from my old apartment.

I'm about to go back to school but I really am not looking forward to it. Wish I had a few more months off!

Latinfest is this Saturday and I'll be there with TLN. Can't wait.

And last but most importantly

My best friend, Billy, committed suicide Aug. 2nd (the official date). It's been rough but I'm dealing with it. I think

]]> ~Saphin http://Saphin.deviantart.com/journal/26288497/ http://Saphin.deviantart.com/journal/26288497/ Fri, 31 Jul 2009 00:46:51 PDT
I don't get it! its like everyone i talk to is such a downer misery pile these days! it bothers me! Everyone complains about how they have it so bad and how their life sucks and how it'll never get better. THEN CHANGE IT!

It's pissing me off cause all they do is complain and bitch about how they've gotten a raw deal, and every time I tell them "just change it" they say "i can't."
Theres NOTHING stopping them!

1 person was complaining about now that schools in she can't see her boyfriend as much. So I told her "just see him when you can" and she was like "thats never! I might as well break up with him!"

Another was complaining about how their life is going too fast and everythings too hectic for him. I told him "take some time and re-calibrate yourself" he was like "you don't get it! if i slow down i'm gonna crash!"

I don't know what I don't "get" about all this but it just sickens me that people only complain about how their lives suck and how nothing can change and how they're just gonna complain about it until it gets better and NONE of them believe me when i say "do something about it!"

And honestly, I can't sympathize with them. I know I used to be just like that! Always complaining about how I got a raw deal and shit, and it took growing up and straightening myself out to realize "hey, if i want things to be better, I have to put myself out there and make them better" And ever since I've started doing that I've been much happier!

Sure I'm not living on easy street with all the glamour and glitz and crap, but at least I'm happier with myself! And everytime something comes a long i want to change. I change it!

]]> ~Saphin http://Saphin.deviantart.com/journal/24033670/ http://Saphin.deviantart.com/journal/24033670/ Fri, 03 Apr 2009 00:58:10 PDT
See, back in January i started feeling cooped up, cabin fevered, just in general not very happy. And I told my friend Alex this. What he said kind of took me for a loop and I think I needed to hear it and reflect on it more than I did when he said it.

What he said is that he found it odd I wanted to go out cause I was always such an independent person.

I didn't think about it much then but I think I should've.

I love being me, and there's nothing wrong with being me. I think I got a little wrapped up in college life and wanting to be that guy everyone loves that I was almost scared to make some enemies.

But I think what he was saying was more of, I should just chill and be myself no matter what, cause the people I want in my life will be attracted to that, and the people I don't want will be avoided. Instead of having a toxic social circle I'd have a genuine one.

I like going out with friends and all but I like being by myself, able to reflect and think and do recalibrate and decompress. I think its important to be able to take some "me time." See who you truly are. I think I just got caught up in trying to see what others see in me instead of what I see in me.

I feel shiny again.

I spent some time looking at my camera and found out all these things it can do! I was lamenting earlier today that I wish I had a big camera like the ones I use at school (mostly because they can white balance, manual focus, variable zoom) but then I looked through the functions of my camera and noticed I can do all that and SO MUCH MORE!

I just need a mic.

BUT I have a mic adapter (that I accidentally stole from my school)! See, I put it in my pocket cause it was getting in the way of the shoot and said I'd put it back later, but forgot XD

ANYWAYS!

I noticed something today. Its SO much easier to talk to a someone you're not attracted to (anymore) than it is to talk to someone you are attracted to!

This is good cause I can work relationships from 2 angles. Girls I've become friends with might open their eyes and see I'm a great guy and want to go out with me and instigate something.
I've also recently decided to start dating randoms instead of trying to get to know them first. Take a chance and put myself out there.

It'll mean an increase in failed relationships, but it'll also mean an increase in relationships in general.

I need to find a singles bar

]]> ~Saphin http://Saphin.deviantart.com/journal/22339734/ http://Saphin.deviantart.com/journal/22339734/ Thu, 01 Jan 2009 18:41:52 PST
If you told me last year I'd be waking up in my own apartment away from my friends and family and surrounded by new friends and "family" I'd have told you to fast forward me a year. That or that you're lying.

probably the lying thing.

So here it is 2009 and I've seen so much change in just the past 4 months. Mostly change in myself. All for the better I believe. Well, except that lack of want to work... that'll always be there though.

One thing I've loved doing is re-inventing myself, changing who I am to who I feel I am. If that makes any sense at all. But I find each time I re-invent myself I'm always dragged back to who I was before. Mostly because people who knew me all my life don't seem to want to see me change, just stay the same. I guess its easier to accept that way.

But now I'm unbound by such restrictions! I'm in a city where no one knew me when I arrived and I had an excuse to be reserved at first! I had no clue where anything was so naturally I would stay in and be shy at first.

But this is where I got to re-invent myself! I got to be outgoing and take chances and ask for help where I'd normally twiddle my thumbs and say "oh, ok..." and slink back to my cave of solace.

Naturally I hated it.

Being taken out of my comfort zone took some getting used to, I'll admit, but now my comfort zone is broadened and I feel much more... shiny.

For once in my life I feel prosperous (with the occasional bout of paranoid "I'm secretly failing and don't know it!")! I think 2009 will be a good year for me. I'm doing something I love, and well too! I'm meeting new people (something I love doing) and they all seem to love me for who I am! Its a wonderful feeling after being a reserved man most of your life.

I feel more attractive, more comedic, more.... Shiny. Its great.

Its hard to let go of your reservations after holding onto them for so long. I still have random bouts of paranoia but they soon pass. I find I can let things go easier. I don't obsess over every little thing. If someone doesn't seem to like me I just shrug and let it be. If someone is sending me mixed signals.... Ok, I haven't mastered that one. But I don't let a lot of things that would normally get under my skin affect me.

I just wish I was more money-wise. I'm getting a job when school starts up again so I can pay my bills again and have money to go out on occasion. And if I can make enough, I'll keep working there through the summer and keep my place. I like the location. Easy to get to school, no buses to rely on for anything, next to a McDonalds/Tim Hortons/Subway/Pizza Pizza. What more could a college student ask for?

There's something satisfying about eating your own home-cooked meals. I realized this earlier today. I think I'm going to start doing more home cooking and planning ahead on that aspect of my life.

I do miss having a safety net. But that's part of being independent. Not relying on someone else to catch you when you fall, but to be able to catch yourself. I'm not there yet but I'm sure I will be at this rate.

And a most wonderful part is that for the first time since Odie I feel like I could have a romantic relationship again. She occupies my thoughts constantly but I keep having to stop myself from over-doing it. I don't want to scare her away, but I think just being me this long has brought her this close. Its hard to keep being "me" when I'm so excited. I wonder if the excitement shows when I talk to her?

I must have an expressive face, cause a lot of times people have commented on my facial expression changes (for better and worse) when they notice it.

A couple times come to mind. Like once when a girl (i had a crush on) told me she was going out with her new boyfriend she immediately asked me why I looked so sad.
The other is when Ashley brought my headphones to school on the last Wednesday, she told me she had them and Aneesa started to laugh and immediately said "Awww, his face lit up!"

I wonder.....

]]> ~Saphin http://Saphin.deviantart.com/journal/21936155/ http://Saphin.deviantart.com/journal/21936155/ Thu, 11 Dec 2008 18:07:50 PST
Don't get too busy on me!

]]> ~Saphin http://Saphin.deviantart.com/journal/21822642/ http://Saphin.deviantart.com/journal/21822642/ Thu, 04 Dec 2008 20:18:56 PST
But here's something new I started to think about. Something I also come about thinking about from time to time. I might've shared this with you guys here on LJ or dA but I don't think I have so here goes.

Purpose...

I know I sound like Agent Smith from the Matrix "I have a purpose, Mr. Anderson!" blah blah yadda-yadda whatever right?

Well here's what I was thinking about. Everyone has a purpose. No one is purposeless. So whats my purpose?

I think peoples purpose isn't pre-ordained or anything, i think its made based on their life at that moment. Some people may feel purposeless, but think about it. If you had a purpose to live, what would you do about it?

What got me thinking about it this time was a Florida teen (Abraham Biggs) who killed himself, and I had to wonder why (as I often do when I hear about these things). I wonder what his purpose was, and why he felt he had to end his life.

See, I like to think purpose is as simple as serving and loving your one true. Or caring for your child. Its easy to have a purpose if you feel purposeless. Serving someone else who needs you is probably the greatest purpose ever, I think. I'd love to have that kind of purpose.

I feel purposeless sometimes, but when I feel purposeless I know my purpose is to find what my purpose is, and to serve it.

Being without purpose is like being retired. You wake up daily wondering "Why bother getting out of bed. It's not like I have anywhere to be, anything to do..." its depressing.

................................................


They say a watched pot never boils. Is that really about boiling water? or is it a clever metaphor for love? If you look for it you won't find it (advice I've heard a lot).

I watched a mini documentary online about asking 50 people what they wish would happen by the end of the day. It was sad... Some peoples dreams were no deeper than wanting a new pair of shoes... others wished for better health.

I think if I was asked I'd say I wish I'd meet my true love by the end of the day.

]]> ~Saphin http://Saphin.deviantart.com/journal/21680689/ http://Saphin.deviantart.com/journal/21680689/ Wed, 26 Nov 2008 12:33:06 PST
i'll just rant about whatever comes to mind, and we'll see where it takes me

i love spanish music. i've been listening to it a lot lately. it makes me happy. its so catchy and reminds me of when i was in Paraguay.

Its at times like this that i start to reflect on my life and my choices. i don't think its the experiences that change us, i think its our choices

a good example of this in its most complete form is Art Fundies

I took art fundies at seneca, then took it at sheridan
now when i took it at seneca i had the choice of seneca or sheridan, but i still chose seneca. imagine if i chose sheridan first?

if i went to sheridan first i wouldn't have met any of the people i met at seneca, but i also wouldn't have met the people i met at sheridan (perhaps). i might have kept trying to get into animation, even to this day, i might even get into animation and be an animator

which means i wouldn't be here in ottawa taking TVB
which means i wouldn't have met any of the people i met
which means i wouldn't be writing this journal entry right now

its a mind trip if you think about how 1 choice could change your life so vastly

i like thinking about deep and provocative things like that. its fun, and i kinda wish i had more people to discuss these things with

i also like telling stories

i told a story to Dan and Darcy while out drinking, it was fun cause i had them enraptured wholey in my tale, which was a little difficult to weave since neither has been to brampton, let alone chingcousy hill. it felt good to hear them laugh when i wanted them to, to be silent when i wanted them too, to have the waiting on every word.

theres nothing more satisfying than having people wait on your every word

with baited breath

Mass Effect is a fun game, but i have to wean myself off it whenever i play. i always have something to do and will play it for 2 hours maximum otherwise nothing would get done. i'd starve for hours and my GPA would drop drastically, i like how i'm doing so well in school right now

what i like more is that i'm so good at everything. i just catch on so easily

i feel like an acquirer

my ankle still hurts

i hurt it almost 2 weeks ago now and the pain won't go away, i've had to walk with a limp the past 2 weeks, it really sucks

my software updater just hit and it wants me to restart my computer so i'll leave the rest of my thoughts to myself and maybe copy/paste this to dA at a later point in my life

later ya'll!

]]> ~Saphin http://Saphin.deviantart.com/journal/21459093/ http://Saphin.deviantart.com/journal/21459093/ Wed, 12 Nov 2008 18:09:15 PST
L!

Lighting! I'm learning a lot about it so and its so much more interesting than you'd think!

Laser Pointers! Fun with the kittehs!

Languages! I like being Loquacious!

Legos! The greatest toy ever!

Lightning! Fascinating AND dangerous!

Lemons! Tangy yet sweet!

Lieam! The youngest of the Mouse Guard and yet the most courageous!

Louis Armstrong! Excellent musician!

Layla Kayleigh! Sexiest woman on G4!

Love! Who can live without it?


A few extras

Likenesses! Having something in common with someone it wonderful for bonding! (especially if they're cute)

Lily! The name, i think its cute!

Lame! Fun P.C. insult (politically correct)

Lips! fun for kissing!

Legs/Leggy Blondes! Always aesthetically pleasing!

Loopholes! Fun to exploit!

Loquacious! A fun word to throw into conversations to confuse people

Legal! Excellent to hear a girl is....

Laura! My friend! I love her!

Laundry! Its actually fun! "I'm a fan of laundry." "SIKE! Me too!"

Locks! I dunno why.....

Lined Pants! So warm in the winter!

thats all for now! i could go on but I won't!

]]> ~Saphin http://Saphin.deviantart.com/journal/20874329/ http://Saphin.deviantart.com/journal/20874329/ Tue, 07 Oct 2008 13:28:10 PDT

Dear ~nadienne

I don't really know how to tell you this, but I dislike you. I think I realized it When your dog ran amok Under the bus and I saw you Sit on My avocado plant. I'm sure you're Man enough to understand That Extreme Home Makeover sucks. I'm returning Your ring to you, but I'll keep The results of your blood-sample as a memory. You should also know that I Get sick when I think of Senility .

Fuck off now,
~Saphin

heres how to do it

[link]

]]> ~Saphin http://Saphin.deviantart.com/journal/20740521/ http://Saphin.deviantart.com/journal/20740521/ Mon, 29 Sep 2008 12:07:32 PDT
]]> ~Saphin http://Saphin.deviantart.com/journal/20408600/ http://Saphin.deviantart.com/journal/20408600/ Tue, 09 Sep 2008 15:02:20 PDT
KOMIS

1. What is your character's name?
Komis Fae

2. What is your character's name in another language?
uh, Komis Fae?

3. How old is she?
22

4. What is your character's race and species?
Female, Asian

5. Does she have a crush?
Yes! on me

6. Does she have many friends?
Many many friends

7. What planet is your character from?
Earth

8. Does your character like to eat?
Only the best

9. What's her favorite food?
The free kind

10. What's her favorite drink?
Scotch on the Rocks

11. Is your character annoying?
Not at all

12. What annoys your character most?
Greedy People

13. Is your character loved?
Very

14. Is your character hated?
Only by Kat.

15. Is she emo or goth?
Neither

16. Is she straight, bisexual, or gay?
Straight

17. Is your character a virgin?
Yes, but only because of me

18. Name three hobbies:
Stealing
Cooking
Reading

19. Is your character normal?
Define Normal?

20. Is your character attractive?
Very

21. How does your character handle emotions?
Poise under Pressure

22. Does your character have other forms?
Nope

23. Does your character overreact?
Only when Kat is invovled

24. Is your character a criminal?
HAHA! um....

25. Does your character go to school?
Nope! But shes is educated!

26. What's her IQ?
200!! no, um, prolly around 130-149 range

27. Does your character have a disease or curse?
Dead Sexiness!

28. Is your character dead?
Dead Sexy

29. Does your character have a family?
No... and she doesn't like to talk about it

30. Has she encountered any tragic times in life?
A few, but she takes them in stride

31. What's the best time in your character's life?
When shes working with her best friend, Nikki.

32. If you could name one friend, which would you relate to your character?
ummm.... The closest i can think is Ian, just cause they're both very creative in their ways to get around the rules.

33. Is your character single?
Nope!

34. Has she developed any relationships?
shes very close with Nikki (her best friend) and she loves me!

35. Does she have any type of power?
Shes an excellent Theif

36. Do you role-play your character?
nope!

37. Do you write about your character?
from time to time

38. Does your character have a bad temper at times?
Only when dealing with Kat

39. Does your character get depressed?
Only when dealing with Kat

40. What's your characters favorite animal?
Cats, because of the expression "Cat Burglar"

41. Does your character have any fears?
just of being responsible for terrible consequences after stealing something

42. Does your character have any weaknesses?
she doesn't trust Men easily

43. Does your character look up to anyone?
Robin Hood

44. Does your character like music?
She loves Classical Music

45. What's your character's favorite type of music?
Classical

46. Is she impatient?
nope

47. What's something funny about your character?
She sometimes goes grave robbing

48. If your character were in a movie or television program, who would play the role of him/her?
Eriko Hatsune

49. Does your character curse?
as in swear or curse others?

50. This test is over, what does your character have to say?
That was fun, Thanks for the new wallet!

NIKKI

1. What is your character's name?
Nikki Nine

2. What is your character's name in another language?
um, Nikki?

3. How old is she?
21

4. What is your character's race and species?
Female

5. Does she have a crush?
Yes

6. Does she have many friends?
a few

7. What planet is your character from?
Earth

8. Does your character like to eat?
yes, but she doesn't eat often

9. What's her favorite food?
She'll SAY Chai Tea and Ceaser Salad, but she REALLY means Fried Chicken and Pepsi

10. What's her favorite drink?
Chai Tea (read Pepsi)

11. Is your character annoying?
She can be

12. What annoys your character most?
being ignored

13. Is your character loved?
yes, but she doesn't think it

14. Is your character hated?
Only by Kat

15. Is she emo... ]]> ~Saphin http://Saphin.deviantart.com/journal/20312342/ http://Saphin.deviantart.com/journal/20312342/ Wed, 03 Sep 2008 17:28:28 PDT
I feel like this going to be my theme song... but not relating to computers....

Code Monkey get up get coffee
Code Monkey go to job
have boring meeting with boring manager Rob
Rob say Code Monkey very diligent
but his output stink
his code not functional or elegant
what do Code Monkey think
Code Monkey think maybe manager want to write goddamn login page himself
Code Monkey not say it out loud
Code Monkey not crazy just proud

Code Monkey like Fritos
Code Monkey like Tab and Mountain Dew
Code Monkey very simple man
with big warm fuzzy secret heart
Code Monkey like you
Code Monkey like you

Code Monkey hang around at front desk
tell you sweater look nice
Code Monkey offer buy you soda
bring you cup bring you ice
you say no thank you for the soda cause
soda make you fat
anyway you busy with the telephone
no time for chat

Code Monkey have long walk back to cubicle
he sit down pretend to work
Code Monkey not thinking so straight
Code Monkey not feeling so great

Code Monkey like Fritos
Code Monkey like Tab and Mountain Dew
Code Monkey very simple man
with big warm fuzzy secret heart
Code Monkey like you
Code Monkey like you a lot

Code Monkey have every reason
to get out this place
Code Monkey just keep on working
to see your soft pretty face
Much rather wake up eat a coffee cake
Take bath, take nap
This job fulfilling in creative way
such a load of crap
Code Monkey think someday he have everything even pretty girl like you
Code Monkey just waiting for now
Code Monkey say someday, somehow

Code Monkey like Fritos
Code Monkey like Tab and Mountain Dew
Code Monkey very simple man
with big warm fuzzy secret heart
Code Monkey like you
Code Monkey like you

]]> ~Saphin http://Saphin.deviantart.com/journal/20068844/ http://Saphin.deviantart.com/journal/20068844/ Wed, 20 Aug 2008 22:03:51 PDT
So many of my friends don't know what they want to do with their lives. Some of them just hop around on one foot figuring out what they can do. Others just take any job they can to make money and live.

As sad a state of affairs as that is, i'm rather in the same boat as them. And it got me to thinking, how did we (myself and many others like me) end up in the place?

After careful thought (and many conversations with many people) i've noticed a few things, both society wise and generation wise.

I hate to sound lazy but I feel like Andy from Mission Hill. Allow me to elaborate for the sake of fleshing out my argument. Andy lives with his friends (and little brother) in their apartment. He works a full time job at a no-name matress company but really wants to be an artist. In one episode in particular Andy becomes jobless and loses a tooth. Not making any money and being borderline broke (living from unemployment check to unemployment check) he can't afford to have his tooth fixed or put back in his mouth or whatever. In order to get around this he borrows his best friends dental benefits card and pretends to be him to receive the dental attention he desires. Naturally it backfires and hes forced to get a real job. In this episode Andy realizes that he has spent the majority of his adult life slacking off working dead end jobs while his friends went out and got real careers. Hes heard to remark "No fair! My generation played a nasty trick on me! I thought we were all supposed to be goofing off but they all went out and were successful behind my back!"

As funny and ridiculous as this statement is, it bears a certain weight that can't be ignored. Getting back to the point, people from my generation are finding it harder and harder to make ends meet because of a certain ideal we mostly grew up with. Do what you love.

Such a simple statement can be so powerful. Do what you love. Theres a deeper meaning behind this tiny phrase, and it infected an entire generation (several in fact).

The generations surrounding people roughly my age are chasing a certain dream. Not fortune or fame, but rather happiness. True happiness. Everyone knows the saying "Money can't buy happiness" and my generation took it to heart. Instead of looking for jobs that bestow upon us fortune or fame or title, we've geared ourselves towards jobs that please us. We found our niche and stuck to it.

I always wondered why people were happy to hear i was an artist, or director, or writer, or whatever "fun" job I was gearing up for. They were doctors, lawyers, computer programmers. They always told me they wanted to be an artists, or musician, or actor, or such, but instead became what they are. It got me wondering, "if you don't like what you're doing, why are you doing it?"

The answer came simply and quickly. Money.

Society runs us with the All-Mighty Dollar. The symbol of "Success" and "Virtue" and "Justice For All." But I thought "Money Can't Buy Happiness?" Well no, it can't, but neither can poverty.

While talking to younger co-workers, asking them what they want to be I often hear the same thing. Accountant! When was being an accountant such a sought after job? Accountants were always looked at as boring, dull people who slave all day in a cubical in nameless cities for nameless corporations the world over, I thought. I guess I was wrong....

Everyone wants to be an Accountant. Why? So they can be rich, and make money, and buy lots of things.

I stagger to think of what the next few generations will bring us. 2% tax cuts and 5% raise in cost of living...

Everyone is so "business minded" and chasing that dream of fortune that they don't see that they're missing out on life....







Heres some lyrics for thought

Down to Earth - Peter Gabriel

Did you think that your feet had been bound
By what gravity brings to the ground?
Did you feel you were tricked
By the future you picked?
Well come on down

All these rules don't apply
When you're high in the sky
So come on down
Come on down

We're coming down to the ground
There's no better place to go
We've got snow upon the mountains
We've got rivers down below
We're coming down to the ground
To hear the birds sing in the trees
And the land will be looked after
(Come) send the seeds out in (the deep?)

Did you think you'd escaped from routine
By changing the script and the scene?
Despite all you made of it
you're always afraid of the change

You've got a lot on your chest
Well you can come as my guest
So come on down
Come on down

We're coming down to t... ]]> ~Saphin http://Saphin.deviantart.com/journal/18220195/ http://Saphin.deviantart.com/journal/18220195/ Wed, 07 May 2008 23:42:15 PDT
All I know is I was sad to leave. Like, really sad. I felt like I was going home to a strangers house, like Japan was where I should be all the time. What made it worse was I only had a box of possessions and I didn't actually go home! I went to some, almost hospital-like clinic where I stayed with a bunch of other people who went to Japan and wanted to go back. It was almost like we were being medicated and treated to enjoy our lifestyle here.

My brothers came to visit me from time to time and each time I'd give them more from my box of possessions in hopes that it would all go home and that I too someday would see home.

But which home?
Japan or home-home?

]]> ~Saphin http://Saphin.deviantart.com/journal/16824974/ http://Saphin.deviantart.com/journal/16824974/ Sun, 10 Feb 2008 21:55:45 PST
SO! Here it is!

[link]

It WAS my online portfolio... But it was terrible.

So I wiped it clean and turned it into my art Practice Blog. Basically it's there to record my progress an artist and to force me to do art on a semi-regular basis so as to keep up my skill.

That being said, hopefully I'll scan my sketchbook soon and just mass dump it here for ya'll to enjoy.

Keep your fingers crossed!

]]> ~Saphin http://Saphin.deviantart.com/journal/14987424/ http://Saphin.deviantart.com/journal/14987424/ Tue, 09 Oct 2007 15:40:09 PDT
I have to wonder if its just the title that catches peoples eye and not the actual content? I wonder if they realize the Tentacle Monster is actually trying to EAT the girl and not have sweaty tentacle sex with her.

OH well! Look foreward to a few more pieces done when I get around to drawing again!

P.S. Beyond the Sea is STILL a bad ass song!

]]> ~Saphin http://Saphin.deviantart.com/journal/14734794/ http://Saphin.deviantart.com/journal/14734794/ Fri, 21 Sep 2007 20:40:23 PDT
After spending the night talking to Kristyn and getting to bed around 2:30 am I'm awoken by my brother screaming like a maniac about how everyone needs to get up right away. First thing I think is that its 3:00 and we've all overslept so I ask what time it is.

10:04

I told him to give me another 5 minutes and went back to sleep for the next half hour.

After getting up I get dressed and head to the mall to have my glasses straightened (since they were a wee bit off. After all, I need to look my best for the ceremonies right?)

After I get back we all eat breakfast (crepes) and then take our respective showers. I lounge about in the buff for the next hour or so since we don't have to leave till 3:00 and its about 12:30. At about 2:15 I grab my rent-a-tux and put it on, snap a few shots in Photo booth of me in all my sexy glory and then we all head out.

A long and hot ride later we arrive at city hall 2 hours early! Not only that, my stomach has started to growl for some serious munchage.

About an hour later the bride and groom arrive as well as a few others for Photos from the professional photographer. Thankfully I was just a "no-named" usher so I got to ignore moving in and out of photos for a bit.

A whirlwind ride of photos later and we're left with 10 minutes before the actual ceremony. We all rush to the Chapel on the 2nd floor and Leif and I ushers people to their seats before going to a side room with the Bride, Groom, other ushers (Rob and Alex) and made of Honour (Amber) to discuss what'll happen next. As its decided Evan, Alex, and I go to the front first and wait as Leif and Amber walk out, followed by Tammy and Rob.

The ceremony lasted a few minutes with some very cool vows (Something about "Partner in Mischeif" was mentioned and we all cracked up) and soon we're taking pictures and heading to the restaurant for our meals. (yes, my stomach is STILL growling at this point)

We arrive, get the tables ready, and a few hours later we're all seated and ready to eat when Leif stands up to deliver a speech. Despite the clawing at my stomach Leif delivered an amazing speech! Not a dry eye was left in the house. And finally! The $150 meal!

Having a chance to sample all the options on the menu (Steak, Salmon, or Chicken) The Chicken was the best! Followed by the Salmon, and lastly the Steak.

As the night goes on we all talk, laugh, joke around and have a general merry time. Sergei does a magic trick, Amber tells me she used to have a crush on me, we all depart happier.

Now, having recounted (as slowly as I can manage) the wedding I'm about to hit the hay, have a headache pill, and soak my feet in warm water for half-an-hour! So long everyone!

]]> ~Saphin http://Saphin.deviantart.com/journal/13915453/ http://Saphin.deviantart.com/journal/13915453/ Sat, 28 Jul 2007 14:41:04 PDT
I decided to try it out and scan a bunch of sketches I did at work. They scanned nicely, though they seemed to vary in size. I'm not sure if my scanner just resizes images to best fit its scan or if Photoshop CS3 does that to me...

Now having Photoshop CS3 on my Mac has made it awkward to use since all the old Hot Keys do NOTHING, or something I don't want it to do. I need to relearn the program except this time for Mac.

I also submitted my scans (all mashed together thanks to Photoshop) and found that submitting things has gotten EVEN MORE DIFFICULT! I swear sometimes Deviant Art doesn't WANT us to upload our stuff. If anyone can help me figure out why the full view of my picture doesn't show up I'd very much appreciate it.

In the mean time I'll be scanning artwork and figuring out how to use Photoshop CS3 properly with a Mac.

Comments, critiques, and any help possible is GREATLY appreciated!

Thanks!

~Saphin

]]> ~Saphin http://Saphin.deviantart.com/journal/12906181/ http://Saphin.deviantart.com/journal/12906181/ Wed, 09 May 2007 23:57:33 PDT
well here goes

I've started writing Universally Speaking again. Its giving me something to work on while I sort out my life. Perhaps the end result will be something I can take to agents and ask to have an animated series made. I doubt they'll buy it as its neither a comedy or an action show, more of a drama.

Funny, i can't stand drama in my life but i sure like to write about dramas....

apparently my trip to B.C. is still on the back-burner. Ian's asked me to be his guitar tech for the summer as his band tours the west coast (of both parts of Canada and the U.S.) a lovely gesture and i took him up on it. although i'm completely aware that i'll be sitting in a cramped van with maybe 4 other "techs" as we ride all night to get to the next gig as Ian's band chill in a tour bus in the lap of luxury, with ladies in their laps (except their singer, she'll have guys)

I've also been offered a chance to be their 133 (anyone not familiar with the reference isn't a Slipknot fan), but i really don't think I could live that life, let alone live up to the standard of "tag along sampler" that 133 has set for us all. I don't even have a mask to hid my face behind!

Ian's got a new girlfriend! i know thats not news about me but its news that AFFECTS me! I've met her twice now and she seems like a nice girl. I like that she watches Scrubs (but am secretly jealous that Ian has now seen more Scrubs episodes than I have. I really only have myself to blame for that. She asked me if i'd like to borrow them, but quiet frankly, borrowing 3 seasons of Scrubs from someone i barely know let-alone never talk to i think is a bit, need to put this delicately, pompous?)

So aside from Laura being a cool cat she does, however, have this one VERY nasty habit that drives me up the wall. Shes CONSTANTLY asking me if I'll date her best friend. Which is nice of her to want to see me dating someone and happy, and i admire her willingness to go out of her way to help her friend get a date, but seriously, shes not selling me on the idea. Not one bit!

First off, shes got a GOD AWFUL NAME! And normally names don't phase me. Hell I once was tripping all over myself flirting with a Chinese girl named Dong-dong! But this name just screams "Cheap."

I don't know how to spell it but it sounds like "Chin-see-ah." Don't ask me why, but that name bothers me.

Moving past my weird name issues. She was described as lonely (which is a polite way of saying desperate), will put-out (the, uh, kind of polite way of saying easy), and annoying (which is the polite way of saying, well, annoying!). Thats all of her own admission! And Ian's to some degree.

Oh well, thats that chapter

i quit AGA! I was SOOO happy to quit! it made me feel 10 pounds lighter! though i was probably 10 pounds heavier, I gained a nice layer of winter flub that i need to work off this summer and hopefully keep down next winter. I had ABS last summer! And pecks! now i've got pecks and flub. The pecks are still there, the Abs are no longer a 6-pack but a Keg. Its sad really. But at least i've started running again! I'll be running tomorrow.

Actually, last time i went running i was kicked in the gut by this nasty feeling. I don't want to go into much detail but i felt horribly sad all of a sudden. Sad and lonely. It was a very terrifying feeling. I had to stop running and walked the rest of my way home.

Its probably because of that that I havn't been sleeping well. Since Sunday (the day I went running) i've been restless and unable to sleep. Surprisingly the one who helped me get over this restless-ness was none-other than....

Anu!

Holy Shit! Right?

Well its an odd story. I was up all night because I couldn't sleep. Restless like I said, and Anu suddenly starts talking to me on MSN, which she hasn't done for ages. She apparently is in India visiting relatives, so for her it was like, mid-day. Anyway, she asked how I was, and i've always maintained that i should be honest with everyone i talk to, to a degree. Somethings they don't need to know.

Anyway, I told her i was feeling restless and out of sorts lately and she asked why and what was bothering me. So I proceeded to unload my problems on her in a simple set of 3.

1 - Not in school at the moment has made me feel uninspired, lazy, and very depressed. Its one of the few things I love to do is study my field of choice. I think all education should be like Post-Secondary. Unfortunately people don... ]]> ~Saphin http://Saphin.deviantart.com/journal/12797519/ http://Saphin.deviantart.com/journal/12797519/ Tue, 01 May 2007 00:08:41 PDT
I'm still alive, if you haven't gathered from my randomly commenting on your pages/journals and such.

No new artwork yet though sadly. I promise I'll get cracking on something super funtabulous for you all and all your patience. (though i doubt you really care)

at anyrate

i did my taxes today. The last minute i sent them in, because i'm so bad-ass like that and i can't get anything done ahead of time. I also cleaned my room today. since I quit my job i have a lot of free time on my hands.

i'm debating dropping the trip out west in favor of buying my camera and final cut studio 2 (just released). of course, i still havn't heard from ryerson yet....

that mood thing is right.
I'm VERY uneasy right now. I've got a huge question on my mind and it plagues me so much so i'm becoming paranoid.... unfortunately i could always just walk up to someone involved and be like "Hey! [insert question here]" and get my answer, but at risk of looking like an idiot for asking a rediculous question i won't

i really wish i had someone on the inside i could trust with this...

]]> ~Saphin http://Saphin.deviantart.com/journal/12326764/ http://Saphin.deviantart.com/journal/12326764/ Sun, 25 Mar 2007 17:55:02 PDT
I went up to Yorkdale where I then visited the local EB Games. I noticed a used Final Fantasy XII Collectors Edition in MINT condition. I grabbed it off the shelf to see another one (in slightly worse condition) behind it and then started to debate picking it up.

See, the dilemma I've always had was I told myself I wanted to try it, but never did, and then silently vowed to never play it. But I found myself more and more drawn to it lately. Especially since recently Final Fantasy Tactics Advance has crept its way back into my cycle of games I want to play. So I wondered around debating for a while and eventually decided I'd give the game a shot (forgetting EVERYTHING I had ever heard about it and just knowing it took place in Ivalice was enough to make me want to play it).

As I approached the counter the girl gave the game an almost apprehensive and disgusted look, followed with a look of pity towards me. She said she HATED Final Fantasy XII, and found it was sadly, the weakest link a series she adored. This sent me for a loop. Surely NOTHING was worse than Final Fantasy X and X-2! This could not be! So I brushed it off with a chuckle. She asked her co-worker at the cash what he thought of it. He said he picked it up the day it came out, and returned it the same week as it was such a poor game.

A bit if discomfort and shame grew in my stomach.

I was starting to have doubts about the game and wonder what was going on here. She continued by asking her other nearby co-worker what she thought who simply replied with a disturbed look on her face. I was starting to feel woozy. She then assured me that it was not a shameful thing to purchase this game, and that if I DID in fact hate it like they did, I could always return it later. Her co-worker chimed in that if I don't like I can always return it later for $30. This intrigued me.

I remind steadfast in my resolve to buy and try Final Fantasy XII. The thought of seeing the Moogles and Bangaa and Veira again was too much to stop me. Plus it was a Collectors Edition in MINT condition. The EB girl said I was lucky to have found it in such good condition and that if I liked it I could keep a really good condition Collectors Edition.

As the transaction was completed to cement her point further she gave me a quick whisper that if I returned it in 7 days I could get a full return on my money.

]]> ~Saphin http://Saphin.deviantart.com/journal/10309766/ http://Saphin.deviantart.com/journal/10309766/ Sat, 07 Oct 2006 00:32:51 PDT
I just felt I should express how I feel about my most important of friends ATM. If i forget you, don't worry, i'll get to you some other time probably...

if not, you're just not that important to me! Sorry!

And if you think you are important to me, just remind me and i'm sure i'll make an edit or two for you

OK so to get to these people

lets start with Safs, because i was talking to my friend Bel about her earlier.

I dunno what i'd do if Safs wasn't in my life. I think I best desrcibed it by saying "A part of me would die if she did." Crude I know, but true.

Another important person in my life is Odie. I doubt she understand how important her friendship is to me but it really is. I dunno how I'd live if she wasn't my friend.

I'm not gonna forget my best men; Ian and Ben

I know I can count on Ian's level headed-ness and amazing-ness. No better best friend exsists. I'm certian of it.

As for Ben, I will never stop missing him. He completed me at Sheridan. He was the Ying to my Yang so to speak. I truely wish he lived in Ontario so we could hang all the time. Though if things keep going the way they are, I might just be moving to Alberta to work with him at his Construction Site Job...

I'll never forget Bel. Honestly, shes been a great inspiration to keep going, even when things aren't looking thier brightest. Her faith in me inspires me greatly and I hope she knows that. I'd marry her and Odie, and Safs if I could. But Piligimy is illegal in most parts of the world, that and they're all attached to someone. LOL

You all know I love you!

D! Don't forget your importance! Don't think you don't mean a lot to me! You are by far, the most unique person I've ever met! Like Ben, I wish I could work side-by-side with you till the end of time! And if all works according to my plan, we will be working in close proximity!

Erin, though a bit crass and a bit on the unusal side, has always been an amazing friend to me! I know she'll have my back (even if its not needed.)

Anthony, I just remembered you know! You rule! And I feel like a richer man inside knowing I know you!

Same goes for you Nadine
....
And Berdj
....
And Nessa

Thalia! Don't think you're left out! You're Uber awsome! Despite my disagreeances with you're lifestyle I love and respect you as a whole. You're unique behaviour makes me want to be a more open and better person, and no one else on this list can say that about themselves! You're truely a Unique person in my life (and you still owe me Teddy-bread! Sorry I forgot to e-mail, hopefully soon! I miss you girl!)

Amir! You're not forgotten! You are my Comerade-in-arms sharing many a sentimental/intellectual/emotional view on the world and how it is! I'm SOOO glad I got to know you! You make it worth wile to know other languages other than english!

My mountianous friend Alex and Chris! You guys are an inspiration and a reminder of how great something can be! I hope we all stay as close as we are now untill the end of time!

I'm fading fast ya'll! Add to that the sensation of having to puke and you got how I feel... Night!

]]> ~Saphin http://Saphin.deviantart.com/journal/10241143/ http://Saphin.deviantart.com/journal/10241143/ Sat, 30 Sep 2006 20:36:58 PDT
Thats simple to answer right? Yes! Of course!

Now heres the doosy. What if they had a kid. One from a previous relationship, and were asking you to raise it like your own? Would you be able to?

I've asked several people this question and explained my answer several times. I just don't think I could do it! Not because I'm shallow or anything. I like to think I'm pretty far from shallow. But because I don't think I could ever truely love the child like my own. Just knowing she had a child with someone else, its like. What else can she give me that she hasn't given someone else?

Lets think about this shall we? She had this guys child, maybe even married the guy and divorced him now! Shes basicaly given everything she has to this guy and now expects me to just be her "back up plan?" I know thats probably not the case but I couldn't live with someone knowing I'm just replacing someone else.

A friend asked "What if she had a child, but gave it up?" That comes with a whole new set of problems. If she put it up for adoption, how do I know she'll be able to commit to having a child with me? She could easily run off or even have an abortion. And if she had an abortion before, than shes clearly not apposed to it at all.

My friend also posed the question "What if she lost it to the father?" That would make me question what she did to lose it to him. Is she unfit to be a parent? Does she have some sort of chemical imbalance that causes her to mistreat and possibly harm the child? In which case I wouldn't want to have children with this woman anyway.

"What if the father would be able to give the child a better life?" Thats almost like adoption. How can you give up your own child to someone so that they'll have a better life? That shows a remarkable lack of commitment!

Now, thats not to say that any of these above reasons are taboo and forbidden under any circumstance. This is just the case in point for me. Some of the people I talked to wouldn't care either way. If the love was there and was both ways they didn't mind. Others said they'd need to be sufficiently ready for such a proposal, and given time could surely do so. And some were like me and agreed that thats just too much.

Its hard to say where to draw the line with today-societies morals and beliefs. Thats not to say its wrong to not see eye to eye with everyone. Its just hard to figure where your personal limit is and where someone elses personal limit should be.

]]> ~Saphin http://Saphin.deviantart.com/journal/7634442/ http://Saphin.deviantart.com/journal/7634442/ Tue, 17 Jan 2006 21:10:15 PST
And then there are the BIG choices that never seem small. Like "Should I go out with that guy?" or "Should I go into medicine?" Stuff like that that make you ponder for periods on end. Ultimately these could just be small choices, if everything you do is doomed to failure.

And so we head out to do what we think is best. Making our small choices. But what happens when you don't know what choice to make? Curtain number 1, 2, or 3? All of them seem so enticing and the idea of TRUE happy-ness makes you yearn for the success behind each one. But will any of them REALLY hold success? You can't chose.

You reach foreward for Curtain 1, will you be happy?
You reconsider Curtain 2, its a long shot, but will you be happy?
You look to Curtain 3, its just so hard to decide!
There might as well be infinite Cutains for all the good your thoughts have done you.

So you pace up and down in front of the Curtains, 1,2,3. Looking over each possibility, weighing the pros and cons to see which is best, which is worst. Trying to construct an answer from nothing. You lack a base and structural integrity to do this, so you pace some more.

As you pace you're time is running out. The clocks tic away your life silently, the bells and alarms don't go off. Hit the snooze! you're not ready to wake up yet! Pacing, pondering.

But wait! Theres MORE! You're just 1 of many people to be standing there, looking at these Curtains. These tempting taunting silently, almost defiantely glaring Curtains of choices-1,2, and 3. There are others who stand by watching you. Some in awe of whater what choice you'll make. The audience who've made thier choices and wait to see if you make the same. And the other contestants in LIFE-The Gameshow That Never Stops!

You continue you're pondering and pacing untill you notice, you only have 2 Curtains to choose from now. Curtain 3 was opened by the impatient man standing beside you. Hes won you're happyness. But would you REALLY have been happy with your prize at the end of the rainbow?

So you look at the other patients, all starring, wondering why YOU get first pick when it should be them. You stare and they stare back into you're deep, black, heartless soul as you waste your time and everyone elses trying to decide between Curtain 1 and 2. Is this what you want? Is this what they want? Which is better? What you want or what they want? Can you walk away? Can you let someone ELSE decide for you? Will you be happy if they do?

Can I use a life line? Sorry, wrong game, no easy answers here! Can I have both? Whats this look like? The Price is Right? Hurry up and choose!

So you slink back up those marble steps to decide once and for all, Curtain 1 or Curtain 2. But as you reach for those curtains you suddenly notice the millions of other hands, reaching, grasping for your happyness and (evidently) thiers.

You curse thier greedy palms as you grease yours with the thought of taking thier joy away by owning something they want. By having YOUR choice, and theirs. You relish the thought of being on top, you swagger under the weight of the thought. The Magnatiude of how important you must be to these people who want what you want! The power you lord over them by having it, dangling it just out of reach like you would a piece of yarn to a cat! But they're more persistant with each false swipe of hope you give them. Startled you step back and reconsider. Would you be happy with a hoard of haters? Is it worth it to be part of the Hoard and hate somone who has what you want?

Whats that? someones trying to grab Curtain 1! You rush to the Curtain to show you want it, but it seems like they're more qualified for the Curtains Call than you are. You're swept aside like so much used trash and left looking up in awe at whats left. Curtain 2. It calls and taunts you. Whats behind it? Happyness? or Misery? Maybe its just what you need, maybe its just what the doctor ordered. But it could just as easily not be. After all, it WAS the longshot.

You heart races, your breath quickens, you lips go dry and you lick them in a desperate attempt to squish out some moisture you could use. Starring, searching, WANTING to know whats there. You're palms become sweaty as you reach for it. You can feel it in your grasp. YOu know its coming! You can almost feel the joy! The Hope! the Love of whats behind Curtain 2! Tt'll be yours! You want it!

Blood rushes in your head, you're eyes go wide, pupils dilate and you mouth gapes as you take in as... ]]> ~Saphin http://Saphin.deviantart.com/journal/3134289/ http://Saphin.deviantart.com/journal/3134289/ Sun, 15 Aug 2004 19:02:46 PDT
[link] ]]> ~Saphin