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        <title>deviantART: by:Sardonicism</title>
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        <pubDate>Wed, 09 Dec 2009 00:33:05 PST</pubDate>        
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                  <item>
                <title>...over it</title>
                <link>http://Sardonicism.deviantart.com/journal/28835483/</link>
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                <pubDate>Tue, 08 Dec 2009 21:40:41 PST</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ whatever i was complaining about, i'm over it. see? this is why no one should take me seriously. apparently marisa doesn't. after my initial fury at her advice of 'you should get pregnant,' i realized things could be worse. indeed they get worse when i think about the past few days, but that is why i just stopped thinking. problem solved.<br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>~Sardonicism</author>
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          <item>
                <title>EVERYTHING BLOWS.</title>
                <link>http://Sardonicism.deviantart.com/journal/28753691/</link>
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                <pubDate>Fri, 04 Dec 2009 19:36:48 PST</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ been an unpleasant past few days.<br /><br />i was sick all through thanksgiving break, although i recovered enough on tuesday to make it to fremont and try meth for the first time...not bad, probably do it again.<br /><br />monday the next week i drove to my figure&comp class to turn in some homework and tell my teacher i wouldn't be attending that day, drove home, nothing terrible.<br /><br />tuesday i showed up for weight training, but couldn't work out because i cough if i talk too much, let alone partake in a heavy workout. so i sat around in my car for two hours waiting for my next class to start. luckily i'd brought my trusty bottle of brandy, so i bought a coke and whipped up some cough syrup. yay class.<br /><br />wednesday, while still sick, decided i should go to school. i was going crazy sitting around at home for a week and a half, so why not. i didn't make it halfway there before the car started sputtering and losing power. i barely managed to get it off to the side of the road while it rattled in its death-throws. perhaps there was a chance my mom hadn't reached work yet and could pick me up. i called both parents, only to remember my phone bill hadn't been paid for three days. no problem i thought, i had some change for a payphone, and there happened to be a phone across the street. but the funny thing about payphones is the horrible sound quality due to shitty manufacturing and the background noise of mid-morning rush hour traffic. and the funny thing about coughing for a week and a half is that it leaves you with no voice. my mom hung up on me, assuming the lack of response (i was rasping desperately into the other end while an old man walked past, staring) meant a wrong number, and hung up on me. i knew calling my dad would have the same result. amazingly, i kept a bus transfer in my wallet, JUST IN CASE. not that i'd ever had a just-in-case moment before, but it was some decent luck. i found the bus that went to my house and made it back home, called mammy from the house, and stayed home because i didn't know what bus went to the school. then i drank cough syrup and passed out on the couch. and had a lucid sex dream. <br /><br />thursday i woke up late, since school didn't start till 10.30, and i figured i'd need my strength if i was going to work out. the house was empty, which was to be expected. i aslo expected that my dad would carpool with my mom on his way to the bart station, since he's had jury duty for the past month. instead, both cars were gone, and a note was in the kitchen that said, "the ford is at bart if you go to school today." of course i wasn't going to waste a bus transfer on that, and i wasn't going to walk there [walking a block to the bus stop the day before i had to stop several times, coughing violently as passersby clearly avoided me]. and ever if i did get there, the parking lot there is HUGE, and every fucking person in this shitty town owns a white ford explorer, and i just was not in the mood for that bullshit. so i fell asleep on the couch again and had another lucid sex dream.<br /><br />later that night i had my psychology class, and was supposed to do a group presentation. i had written my five-page essay like i was supposed to...except that my computer was telling me my printer had no ink. and the printer was saying it had plenty. spent a few hours sweating over that [literally] only to realize there was a page connection. so it printed out like five copies, to compensate for all my desperate attempts to get it to print earlier that afternoon. but since it was the evening, my parents were now home, so i had a car to get to school. i decided to take the camery, since a sedan is less overwhelming than a truck [my car is a subcompact] so i figured everything would go smoothly. i might not be abble to present, due to my voice, but at least i had my project done. but, while blasting beastie boys in the parking lot, and fining a spot wonderfully close to the entrance, i forgot that my mother's camery is significantly wider, and turns much wider, than my nice, tiny, compliant, turns-on-a-dime VW fox...and i hit the corner of someone's brand fucking new honda. at least i didn't trigger an alarm, but there was a decent-sized couple of scrapes on the plastic panneling. i corrected and parked next to them. i looked around, and there didn't seem to be anyone that noticed, so i grabbed my backpack and high-tailed it to class. but i started feeling guilty, and i was driving my mother's car, which she fucking adores. if it was the fox, i wouldn't have cared. of course if it was the fox, i wouldn't have hit them in the first place...but you know. so i wrote a note that gave my name and number, and tlod them to call if the scrathes didn't buff out, and went back and stuck it under their wipers. i was a little more comfortable, knowing i could use some good karma on my side...then started thinking about how little money i have, and i couldn't ask my parents for a loan... ]]></description>
                <author>~Sardonicism</author>
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          <item>
                <title>*hack</title>
                <link>http://Sardonicism.deviantart.com/journal/28537667/</link>
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                <pubDate>Mon, 23 Nov 2009 20:30:25 PST</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ ...getting over a cold. got a hacking cough that makes people in grocery stores avoid me, so the seasonal crowds are a little more manageable.<br /><br />i'm forcing out this retarded poem, though it seemed like a good idea at the time. the task was to "write a poem including definitions of words." interesting concept, but it's fucking throttling me. i'm out of material.    ...it's a fucking blessing that the end of the semester is so close. i'm a bit suprised i made it this far and got like eight decent poems written. but i'm definately not making it into Neropa University.<br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>~Sardonicism</author>
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                <title>zombified extremities</title>
                <link>http://Sardonicism.deviantart.com/journal/28200345/</link>
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                <pubDate>Sat, 07 Nov 2009 14:47:24 PST</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ went to the doctor yesterday. i was literally 1 minute from being late [rain, traffic, falling down the stairs like an idiot], and then the lady at the desk told me fedEx dropped me from their insurance ...again. apparently they don't believe that i'm a full time student. so i'll be getting charged $100. healthcare is a peach. but i'm medicated again, and like i've said umpteen times before, i don't know what to think about that. it's the same shit as last time. the Amies have returned. <br /><br />they also gave me this migraine medication that disolves in your mouth for 'fast-acting results.' although they did warn me not to take it too often. i guess it works by constricting blood vessels to reduce pressure on the brain, but every blood vessel is affected, so if i take it for too long, it could result in my extremities developing gangreen. nervous laugh.<br /><br />on the upside, i have a hot doctor. asian lady, super friendly, hella cute.<br /><br />elsewhere, my poetry teacher is helping found a poetry outreach thing. i think the objective is to try to connect the students, staff, and community with poetry. i think. i have no idea really, but Hollander wants me to be a part of it. i'm not opposed to it, but i don't think i'd be a very bennificial addition. i'm shitty at speaking, i don't really have much interest or dedication to the community, i've never been involved in any program or club or what have you. They're hoping to start an experimental class that meets like three times per semester in hope of evolving this idea. i'll probably sign up. i'm interested, i jjust have no idea what it's about...but i guess no one does yet.<br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>~Sardonicism</author>
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          <item>
                <title>well fuck me.</title>
                <link>http://Sardonicism.deviantart.com/journal/28069421/</link>
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                <pubDate>Sat, 31 Oct 2009 15:29:40 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ life is joyous, isn't it? i laugh cynically and cough up furballs.<br /><br />i compared my most recent drawings from my Figure and Comp class, to to ones from my very first day. Nothing's changed except the color. I'm still making the same mistakes. I thought i'd improved.<br /><br />My teacher asked me to read 'uterine wall' out loud. i couldn't bring myself to do it. i'm blaming it on the fact that the desks are arranged in a circle, and i'd have to face everyone as i read it, rather than hiding next to the wall like i usually do. but i know in reality i wouldn't be able to read it to them regardless on how i face them. i'm more of a whiney fag than i thought.<br /><br />i weighed myself yesterday. i weighed myself a few times actually, just to make sure it was right. somehow i'm up to 165. officially obese, considering i'm twenty pounds above what the average for my height and age are. HOW THE FUCK is is that i never excercised in high school till i joined track the last semester of senior year [when i first started putting on wieght], i went out every friday for thai food and french fries, and mananged to stay at 140? <br />i've joined the gym [2-4 days a week in there], stopped eating red meat, stopped drinking beer, lowered my sugar intake, NEVER go out to restaurants...and put on twenty pounds. i'd kill myself except i promised never to die fat.<br /><br />and now i'm supposed to go to this fucking halloween party. i'm going as an asshole. i won't be drinking, or doing anything really, so i probably will be an asshole and leave early. ...my get-up consists of a plastic terminator-esque kid's chest plate, a too-small rainbow wig that i have to tie onto my head, goggles, fairy wings, and rainbow armwarmers. maybe i'll put on some make up, but my idea it too dress as awkward and disgusting as i feel. i think i've nailed it.<br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>~Sardonicism</author>
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                <title>bland updates.</title>
                <link>http://Sardonicism.deviantart.com/journal/27696845/</link>
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                <pubDate>Sat, 10 Oct 2009 22:34:06 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ so my real poetry teacher is back, he had me read 'sound' out loud.....so even though it wasn't a new piece, it wasn't as if i felt like i got raped by the easter bunny, like after reading 'genes.' and i finally got some amount of critique from him (i'm starting to miss how Klevens ripped apart everything i wrote). but apparently i'm giving the impression that i'm a one-trick-pony. it's like yeah, i can describe shit, but there's not really anything there aside from a detailed picture. there's no oomph. nothing jarring, discomforting, or bizarre. so that sucks...but at least i know what i need to improve on. i haven't turned in 'uterine wall' yet, but i think it's a step in the right direction. <br /><br />i had a dream the other night that i went to hell. i don't think i died or anything, but iit turned out that hell was the high school bathrooms, hahaha. and i kept bumping into people i'd always try to avoid, like justin, collin, and amanda rose. i think dawn schaffner might have been the devil, but i can't quite remember, but i know she was there.<br /><br />ALSO! i'm just about done with my ninetails/vulpix picture, just need background and a little more detailing. i expected to be done with this series a while ago, but school started and my resurrected pokemon obsession kinda died, along with my intrest in just about anything and everything.  ...which might explain why i've been drinking so much. regardless, it will be up quite soon.<br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>~Sardonicism</author>
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                <title>it's too long, don't even bother....</title>
                <link>http://Sardonicism.deviantart.com/journal/27525890/</link>
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                <pubDate>Thu, 01 Oct 2009 17:03:43 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ i'm fed up with this online class i'm taking. actually, it's not the class itself, but the Blackboard website. SCREW THAT MOTHER FUCKING BLACKBOARD.COM. shit ain't lettin me start class. i feel bad for pestering the teacher i haven't even  met yet, but i'm greatful she's at least been patient with me. <br /><br />waiting for psych to start. i'll probably go to the gym before that, maybe try to find the Negotiation book I need for the online corse. <br /><br />my phone's been disconnected and the battery dead all week. i'm supposed to go pay for it now but...i'll probably leave it uncharged. <br /><br />doctor's appointment tomorrow, and lovefest on saturday. i'm going in for chronic headaches, again. they'll probably put me back on antidepressants. not sure how i feel about that yet, but depending on what they give me i may or may not go to lovefest.<br /><br />i had to read that shitty 'genes' poem in class today. no one got the transgender part, not suprising. but we had a sub today, nice lady, but not my type. after i read it she went on a spiel about female empowerment and how the role of women is changing. the topic had already come up several times and we kept reading crap about women who consider their bodies to be sacred and all this bullshit, and everyone else was having these really heated discussions about it.... i'm suprised i didn't just leave. but the huge misinterpretation on my poem set me off a bit. i did't say anything, obviously i wasn't about to come out to fifteen strangers, but it just reinforces the fact that i really need to fix that piece. i wasn't even very prowd of it to begin with, but after that it just sounds like a whiney unsatisfied bitch complaining about her body.     ...i generally try to avoid that. so here i go, sounding as angsty and self-pitying as ever, fucking hell they should put me on meds tomorrow. fucking tranquilizers, something to shut me up. actually if they give me tranqs, i'm definetely going to Lovefest.<br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>~Sardonicism</author>
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          <item>
                <title>scanner</title>
                <link>http://Sardonicism.deviantart.com/journal/27136499/</link>
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                <pubDate>Thu, 10 Sep 2009 16:42:00 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ i finally got a scanner/printer, so no more shoulder-tapping for me. but as luck would have it, the sofware would freeze in the middle of downloading, so i wasn't able to print out my english homework -"- fortunately me teacher was kind enough to print it out last minute in an email. finally downloaded this afternoon, hopefully i can up-date some of the shitty images. <br /><br />many small irksome things.<br /><br />if i'm lucky i'll be able to continue the 'mental unwinding' i started during my lunch break after psychology tonight.<br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>~Sardonicism</author>
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          <item>
                <title>cramp</title>
                <link>http://Sardonicism.deviantart.com/journal/27017726/</link>
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                <pubDate>Fri, 04 Sep 2009 15:18:49 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ fucking leg cramps.<br /><br />i arrived at my first day of illustration with a 102 degree fever, and after hearing the bullshit homework assigned the first day and weekly oral reports, i walked out and haven't gone back. now i'm trying to find classes that are still adding because i need the credit to be covered under health insurance.<br /><br />jaded. disappointed. waiting for swine flu to come along and maybe get me. pissed after reading the scale this morning, too depressed now to even go to the gym and deal with this problem constructively. need to write a five page essay for psychology, composition homework for komisar, write some bs for english and crap out another shitty poem, do some sort of excercise this weekend so i don't lose the pittiful lump of muscle i've aquired over the past couple weeks, and maintain some sort of social acivity. <br /><br />now my computer is telling me to download some new Apple software, even though i use Windows.<br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>~Sardonicism</author>
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          <item>
                <title>la-di-fuggin-da</title>
                <link>http://Sardonicism.deviantart.com/journal/26638002/</link>
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                <pubDate>Sun, 16 Aug 2009 21:08:28 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ as luck would have it, i've fallen ill the day before school starts.<br /><br />fuck. <br /><br />of course i have it coming, convincing my deathly ill friends to leave the house for such splendors as the DMV, or popping in unexpectedly after receiving no response from a sent text message. i've been on and off today. [off right now =_= .] pressure headache. sore throat. neck gland swollen and tender. for some reason the skin on my legs hurts.<br /><br />on the other hand, i'm kind of enjoying it...........which goes to show how bored i've been lately. mentally and physically [except for the headache and soreness] i feel like i'm on neurontin again. occasionally i'll feel dizzy like a mild nitrous high, and i'm going at the pace i would if i'd taken a valium. clinically, i'm not so sure this is a very healthy comparrison, but at least now i know how to describe a neurontin high. plus for once in my life my sinuses aren't giving me hell either.<br /><br />figure drawing starts tomorrow, excited. illustration....gah. apparently the teacher is a complete bitch, but it'll be interesting. no doubt i'll be hating life to the fullest in the next two weeks. i'munna go black out now.<br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>~Sardonicism</author>
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                <title>well i have NOTHING going on</title>
                <link>http://Sardonicism.deviantart.com/journal/26327762/</link>
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                <pubDate>Sat, 01 Aug 2009 22:35:54 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ although at least i'm developing a certain amount of taste when it comes to cheap liquor. next time i'll spend the extra dollar for my Erk n' Jerk. ...hahaha<br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>~Sardonicism</author>
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                <title>sputter</title>
                <link>http://Sardonicism.deviantart.com/journal/25742198/</link>
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                <pubDate>Sat, 04 Jul 2009 20:33:16 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ okay, i stand by my motto of 'if you need to take a break from it, you do it too much.' <br /><br />heeeeehhhh....forced smile.<br /><br />my insides hurt intensely. little worried. eh, i guess i won't be eating for a few days. my kidnies, liver, uterus and stomach are all in a bind, and as i said when i was influenced by six different things, my body's in cahoots.<br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>~Sardonicism</author>
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                <title>man, oh, man....don, aman</title>
                <link>http://Sardonicism.deviantart.com/journal/25533584/</link>
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                <pubDate>Thu, 25 Jun 2009 07:33:22 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ oodellally, oodellally, golly what a day. <br /><br />don't worry dears, despite my unintentionally depressing posts, my world is not yet crashing down to kill you all.....shit. sorry. <br /><br />god damn california. i'm about to eat some <br />vicaden, but carbs first. don't want to throw up this time...tea's about to whip-up some mac and cheese and hotdogs. mentally, i'm quite excited, but my fucking stomach is begging me to keep it empty. kidney's been kickin me. head is buggin me. <br /><br />FUCKING DINO MAC AND CHEESE!!!!!<br /><br />but the morning is nice. we've emerged from the past hours shaken and laughing while scrubbing bathroom tiles with Ajax and toothbrushes. early morning walks to the store, witnessing mass waste, emerging yet again with ...what,? minds in tact. cleaning like tweekers. must go back, re-write, start the song over, take a huff......hold on a sec....<br /><br />*sigh* a couple good whip-its and an hour later, here we are again, "like mountains made of steam..." wearing swim trunks, a bra, and an open flannel shirt. nothing glamorous. don't know why that really matters.<br /><br />BUT FUCK!. i didn't mean this to sound like some huge depressing thing like i always do [on accident X\ ]because i've actually been having a lot of fun lately. of course there are down moments. but goddamn, these are the last years i can afford to rape and take advantage of, and by god i will and am [*deep breath*]. i'm having a blast, ha, and now i sound like i'm just trying to prove some point and justify my behavior. it's not stopping me. been damn busy lately. what the fuck am i even talking about? gah, fuck it, imma go listen to some tunes, play some geetar and hopefully leave this hellish place for a while. <br /><br />smiles.<br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>~Sardonicism</author>
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          <item>
                <title>to quote pearl jam,</title>
                <link>http://Sardonicism.deviantart.com/journal/24825783/</link>
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                <pubDate>Mon, 18 May 2009 16:19:42 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ 'oh, i'm still alive.'<br /><br />crawled out of a three-day drug binge, during which there was one concious hour where i was sober.....and looking for more drugs. don't feel much worse for wear however.<br /><br />came up with the majority of a story for my english class, but i've dropped that idea [again] and now i'm about to start a new one. unfortunately i don't know how it ends.<br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>~Sardonicism</author>
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          <item>
                <title>sweet jesus.....</title>
                <link>http://Sardonicism.deviantart.com/journal/24593417/</link>
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                <pubDate>Mon, 04 May 2009 22:26:17 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ i ran out of brandy last week i thingk. no, week before that. onto muscle relaxers now, whatever's rfee. ghaaaaaeh............/<br /><br />i'm actually not onm anything at this exact moment, wait , no, theres that one thing... but just clumsy tyiping. <br /><br />main problem has reemerged. i finally shat out that story for my english class, now i have to do a second one. big fuckin sigh.<br /><br />in other news [the newscast that literally no one tunes into, ha], i'm blonde now. or something like that. i dunnea, i havent checked the mirror recently.<br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>~Sardonicism</author>
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          <item>
                <title>glug</title>
                <link>http://Sardonicism.deviantart.com/journal/24292425/</link>
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                <pubDate>Fri, 17 Apr 2009 14:34:07 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ been drinking a lot lately. like shit. if i develop a drinking problem we'll know who's fault that is. heh.<br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>~Sardonicism</author>
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                <title>frustrated sigh.</title>
                <link>http://Sardonicism.deviantart.com/journal/24121703/</link>
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                <pubDate>Tue, 07 Apr 2009 23:27:46 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ i'm not one to update journals regularly, but damnit, i got pissed looking at that damn journal that said how i was finally turning this family vacation to the desert into a potentially good, artistic thing. because as my luck has it, the moment i look foreward to it, it gets cancelled. no desert for me.<br /><br />too much homework from komisar, though i guess i'm not one to complain. there are those who have it worse, you know who you are. manditory wink.<br /><br />i need to write a fully-fledged short story for my english class, beginning to end, with 'round' characters who are capable of and show change, with rising action, climax, the whole jizz and shit. i suppose i'll be going to pete's tomorrow and slip brandy into my coffee and hope my pen moves.<br /><br />on the other hand, i've been drawing a lot lately. about 2/3 done with the current sketchbook, filled mostly with shit because i hate that book and just want to fill it up. i haven't done a self portait in a while. i think now is the time. i'm filled with things. god but i've already got like three full images i'm trying to do all at the same time. ah oh well. i'm on break. i can get away with loading myself up with personal projects. get some shit done before i'm forced back into the grind of the most monotonous oil paiting class in the world god that class sucks. you've been warned.<br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>~Sardonicism</author>
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                <title>death valley</title>
                <link>http://Sardonicism.deviantart.com/journal/24028328/</link>
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                <pubDate>Thu, 02 Apr 2009 17:44:49 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ goin out to the middle of fuckin nowhere on tuesday. i have no idea when i'll be back, but at least i'll be in the desert. inspiring.<br /><br />the new claypool album is fuckin awesome. finally something that doesn't sound obscenely happy. quite the opposite actually. it sounds like a really unpleasant mushroom trip, and not because of all the fungus references, but in a good way. i'm feeling pretty inspired by this album. strangely by banghra dance videos as well, so the combination has been having an interesting yeild. hopefully the desert will add on to this, although now that i've admitted inspiration i'll lose whatever spark i breifly gained, haha. ah life. <br /><br />god i need to get out of the house and do something. god. my mom is blasting brittany spears upstairs. i'm trying to counter it with my ecclectic taste in noise...but brit is breaking through.<br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>~Sardonicism</author>
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                <title>shedding</title>
                <link>http://Sardonicism.deviantart.com/journal/23736944/</link>
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                <pubDate>Mon, 16 Mar 2009 20:03:10 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ my hair seems to be falling out....i haven't dyed it for two weeks, and i haven't bleached it since november. me and my delayed reactions. <br /><br />i need to submit something that's not poetry. this isn't even worth posting, but i'm bored and i will talk to myself. haha, i posted this comment on a youtube video where some bitch left hella comments about how ketamine shrinks your bladder and it killed her friend, BS, BS, BS.....not a bad response considering i just pulled it out my ass. <br /><br />"not a video i expected to go with the song, but it's a great song nonetheless. such drama about K. anything will kill you if you use it the wrong way, but there's always someone who has to be the buzz kill and start shoving statistics and sob stories down our throats. really. if you're that against it, do something about it, don't bitch to random people on youtube about your weak-minded opinions. i say yay for drugs."<br /><br />i have nothing worth saying. i'm sure anyone reading this knows that by now, but i'm sure you're all caught up in the anticipation that i might actually say something that will mean that you haven't just wasted two minutes by reading this. tough luck. nuuuuuuuuuurrrr....<br /><br />i came home saturday night and my mom told my that my dog had a third nipple [11th, technically] that we never noticed. my dad agreed and flipped the dog over, to which i responded: "that's a tick." oh, the look of realization on their faces. so i've been calling sweetie 'tick-tit' now. <br /><br />i bet you're still reading. ha. alright, i guess i won't push my luck anymore. i was just tired of seeing the same post about me griping about school.<br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>~Sardonicism</author>
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          <item>
                <title>grunt of disdain</title>
                <link>http://Sardonicism.deviantart.com/journal/22994039/</link>
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                <pubDate>Tue, 03 Feb 2009 22:57:56 PST</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ started college. big fucking difference from high school...not really, except that the classes i'm taking are even less relevant to anything i want to do in life. and how the fuck do they expect you to be inspired about a parody of an Eminem song, and write a GOOD poem based on that inspiration, in two days? god fucking damn.<br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>~Sardonicism</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>big bang</title>
                <link>http://Sardonicism.deviantart.com/journal/22561451/</link>
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                <pubDate>Tue, 13 Jan 2009 13:07:36 PST</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ i've got one last big week of drugs before school starts again...smoked saturday, acid in People's Park yesterday, and more acid in San Felipe Park  thursday, then aderall again on sunday or monday for a night of nocturnal mischief.<br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>~Sardonicism</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>Urban Sturgeon</title>
                <link>http://Sardonicism.deviantart.com/journal/22250789/</link>
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                <pubDate>Sun, 28 Dec 2008 21:21:19 PST</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ at long last, nine months in the making, the six-foot+ fish hat is complete. pictures coming soon. it's fucking amazing. i stuffed it, so it's 3D as well. the sad irony is that i don't know if there's going to be a hat contest this year...the theme i guess is "a night at the opera." HOWEVER the sturgeon is versitile in that it is a wrap as well as a hat. the fact that it is fish and not fox makes it all the more relevant [the second irony is that it's wool].<br /><br />and what the hell, i'll make a christmas picture. it'll show my true feelings about the holiday. belated is my style and way of life. it'll probably be done in february.<br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>~Sardonicism</author>
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          <item>
                <title>augh.</title>
                <link>http://Sardonicism.deviantart.com/journal/21790766/</link>
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                <pubDate>Tue, 02 Dec 2008 20:23:19 PST</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ i had a dream the other night...nothing too crazy, just typical, nonsensical shit. and one of my characters made a cameo.<br /><br />I was walking through a park, following three black girls around, and one of them was on acid. something, something, something, i was riding my bike with my dad, something, i was driving my dad's car down Cull canyon and almost crashed at the end of the road, turned around, started heading back, but the car turned back into my bike, and the road opened into a muddy grass field. I was in a hurry, and the quickest rout was to go straight through it, even though there was a group of like thirty people that i'd have to bike through. so i'm plowing through the mud hella slow, making my way around these people, and i hear this really obnoxious, threatening yelling, and i look up to my right, and there's Isaac Schmide, like seven feet tall, and hella bitching someone out. it was kinda neat, because it wasn't a realistic version, it was a three-dimensional, animated Schmide. So as stoked as i was about that, at the same time, i hella didn't want to attract his attention, because he'd have beat the shit out of me. i fear what i create, hahaha.<br /><br />last year miss leighton descibed my artistic style something like this: "She's created her own little world, with all these interesting characters, but you wouldn't want to stay there for more than like ten minutes." <br /><br />smile, something, smile. headache, beer, smile.<br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>~Sardonicism</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>fuck yes</title>
                <link>http://Sardonicism.deviantart.com/journal/21291396/</link>
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                <pubDate>Sun, 02 Nov 2008 20:59:39 PST</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ congrats to myself for 1000 pageviews. i'm pouder now that when i graduated.<br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>~Sardonicism</author>
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          <item>
                <title>.</title>
                <link>http://Sardonicism.deviantart.com/journal/21143564/</link>
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                <pubDate>Fri, 24 Oct 2008 16:46:17 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ i just got tired of looking at the words 'little caesar's' everytime i signed on. nothing of interest. Ironically this post doesn't fix my dilemma.<br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>~Sardonicism</author>
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          <item>
                <title>HA!</title>
                <link>http://Sardonicism.deviantart.com/journal/20919265/</link>
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                <pubDate>Fri, 10 Oct 2008 11:01:06 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ i quit my job at little caesar's! i only worked like five days, and i probably made a hundred bucks, but it ain't worth it. fuck that place, and fuck rashan, that fuckin fagot.<br /><br />and don't eat there, the sanitation is not what you think...<br />a. i splashed soap water in the pizza sauce<br />b. i found bugs in the flour<br />c. i saw someone drop some dough on the ground, then pick it up and put it back with the rest<br /><br />of course these things don't bother me personally, but i don't think the general public would be too pleased.<br /><br />and i think that place made me have a stroke o_0 like three or four times when i was apprehending dough, i'd get these weird sharp pains in my wrist, and my vision would hella blur in one eye. like sever headrush status. and of course the next day [yesterday, actually] i have three tiny bruises on my wrists, directly over the veins, where the pain was. what the fuck is with that? i look like i've been shooting up or something. hahahaha.....fuck it, i'm free.<br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>~Sardonicism</author>
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          <item>
                <title>autumn</title>
                <link>http://Sardonicism.deviantart.com/journal/20526748/</link>
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                <pubDate>Tue, 16 Sep 2008 18:14:49 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ fall's coming, thank god. summer wasn't the greatest. not much for art at least. i always thought fall was inspiring, and i can feel it creeping back up my nose and in my ears to lodge itself in my brain. my snot isn't blue anymore. all has blown out. i intend to find a hillside and spend the day there drawing and listening to music.<br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>~Sardonicism</author>
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          <item>
                <title>rejuvinised</title>
                <link>http://Sardonicism.deviantart.com/journal/20341930/</link>
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                <pubDate>Fri, 05 Sep 2008 14:49:29 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ my granny finnaly left, job opportunities are looking up, found a bag of more than 4 hits of x, reestablishing connections, new/old working typewriter, the reasons for continuing forth are numerous.<br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>~Sardonicism</author>
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          <item>
                <title>YES!</title>
                <link>http://Sardonicism.deviantart.com/journal/19797892/</link>
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                <pubDate>Tue, 05 Aug 2008 20:30:25 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ finally i can get some recent shit up here. once again, thanks for the scanner ;D<br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>~Sardonicism</author>
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          <item>
                <title>hella boo boo.</title>
                <link>http://Sardonicism.deviantart.com/journal/19416368/</link>
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                <pubDate>Tue, 15 Jul 2008 19:42:43 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ i'm feeling bored creatively. i think i'm going to start doing some pokemon fan art. like really elaborate, epic, dumb shit. i'll recreate all my favorites from when i was a kid. i'll use all the lame-but-good music i have as inspiration. maybe i'll make jinx and mr. mime hella hot. requests will be taken into considerartion. <br /><br />i think i'm going to lean more towards the dog-like pokemon [eevee, growlithe, ninetails, etc] since it's more likely to get done if i aim for something doable. <br /><br />and betsy, if you too are still creatively hollow, you can re-do digemon characters. the pokemon/digimon battal will be reborn.<br /><br />in other news, i've started the fish helmet. it looks kinda like a dolphin rather than a sturgeon at the moment, wut that'll change after i give it fins. i don't want to speak too soon, but it's turning out to be an easier task than i was expecting. i've also started a fish beanie, as backup incase of disaster. it's quite a bit longer than i intended, but that just makes it more comical. it's slow going, and a bit difficult, but i can tell the outcome will be worth it.<br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>~Sardonicism</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>blame</title>
                <link>http://Sardonicism.deviantart.com/journal/19237131/</link>
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                <pubDate>Sun, 06 Jul 2008 14:25:09 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ giving him another shot so he can join the other guys. forks spoons and knives. maybe a spork or two.<br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>~Sardonicism</author>
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          <item>
                <title>hiatus</title>
                <link>http://Sardonicism.deviantart.com/journal/18919419/</link>
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                <pubDate>Wed, 18 Jun 2008 20:21:23 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ so i'm off to disappear for a little while. camping. i'm hoping this will turn out to be some sort of art binge for me. i seem to have joined the ranks of the uninspired, so hopefully this will help. fuck cities. fuck civilization. i bet my headaches will go away once i'm out in the wilderness. yee. mmkay, i suppose this'll be my last internet interaction for the next week and a half. happy.<br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>~Sardonicism</author>
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          <item>
                <title>creative juices running low.........</title>
                <link>http://Sardonicism.deviantart.com/journal/18385694/</link>
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                <pubDate>Sun, 18 May 2008 15:41:16 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ i think ms leighton has sucked all creativity out of me. i haven't come up with any new personas in ages.....'the end pt 1' doesn't count since i actually did that quite a while ago. i miss blame. i need to finish that painting. fucking ms leighton. you ruined me. oh well, it's ok. i had a dream last night that i sent her and mr. B to prison for on-campus drug use. ironic, ey? then i was driving home in the White Whale, missed the exit and pulled a u-turn on the freeway, thrashed for a while, and not a scratch was on the car. perhaps this has something to do with watching "Fear and Loathing" last night. *grabs curtain rod* I am Ahab, you whale!!!<br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>~Sardonicism</author>
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          <item>
                <title>thaaa-aaanks!</title>
                <link>http://Sardonicism.deviantart.com/journal/18053970/</link>
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                <pubDate>Sun, 27 Apr 2008 11:54:48 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ for the scanner abuse.<br /><br />good for yeeeeww!!<br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>~Sardonicism</author>
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          <item>
                <title>unsatisfied</title>
                <link>http://Sardonicism.deviantart.com/journal/17920512/</link>
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                <pubDate>Fri, 18 Apr 2008 23:59:13 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ the bullshit photos and half-assed stories i've been posting are bothering me. but i wrote the stories a while back, and i have had no instruction on how to work with 35mm's. my feeble excuses won't hold up for long. most post worthy art. good god i need to use your scanner, man.<br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>~Sardonicism</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>neon butterflies.</title>
                <link>http://Sardonicism.deviantart.com/journal/17772009/</link>
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                <pubDate>Wed, 09 Apr 2008 21:58:59 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ one day it will turn me into some large-nosed, fire-breathing demon creature, and i'll swell with glee until i am lucky enough to burst into a plume of neon green and blue butterflies. until then i am left with my escape plans that hold no stability except when they follow through perfectly in my mind, where i am, yes, both high and mighty. higher than thou. mindless indeed! ha! after running through THAT door victory is mine, i won't stop until it is and after running through that door there will be no stopping me. but of course the door, like the mailbox, has slammed shut on my demon's face and a grinding halt like that after carrying on the way i did stunts the growth of any healthy ego. nonetheless i hurtle myself towards things that are possible but distant, compelling me to rise from the seat that cushions my ass and fly to those goals, although i have read that achievement may mean nothing, but it is not the achievement that is alluring but the wandering. the bottle of change and small bills grows to make mental escape physical, and you may not be aware but you too may have supported the escape fund. neon butterflies are swarming me but they are not mine. i'm yearning for a combustion of sorts, it will start with sparks, but it will grow. i will burst and everything around me will smolder and i will keep bursting until i've burnt myself out and driven myself into the ground in a pulpy mess dragging itself home, hoping for self-satisfaction. lungs and legs permiting, there is already fuel for a first spark. inner demons forbid the necessary immersion into the corporate world, however beneficial to escape, suck all belief in that escape out of me. i would not be suprised. regardless i will trow myself at any chance of embarking on a journey elsewhere than anywhere i've ever been. if ever i lose my will to escape, kill me. no joke, dudes, plot against me and kill me because i will have lost all that is worth living for.<br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>~Sardonicism</author>
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          <item>
                <title>Nichail &amp; Banzai</title>
                <link>http://Sardonicism.deviantart.com/journal/17186819/</link>
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                <pubDate>Tue, 04 Mar 2008 20:38:01 PST</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ The two bastards are finally done. Xheck 'em out, I'm quite prowd. also got a free association in my scraps, not that it's very impressive.<br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>~Sardonicism</author>
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          <item>
                <title>nichail</title>
                <link>http://Sardonicism.deviantart.com/journal/16969491/</link>
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                <pubDate>Tue, 19 Feb 2008 21:14:13 PST</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ nichail is in the slow process of creation. lucky went much faster, so i think at this rate i'm going to take him home and get it over with. i like to consider Nichail Lucky's older brother...he seems like that kind of guy. i really need to get this fucking project done.<br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>~Sardonicism</author>
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