http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:Savior-Replica&section=today deviantART RSS for by:Savior-Replica en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Mon, 21 Dec 2009 17:22:41 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://Savior-Replica.deviantart.com/journal/16759363/ http://Savior-Replica.deviantart.com/journal/16759363/ Wed, 06 Feb 2008 18:16:10 PST

]]> ~Savior-Replica http://Savior-Replica.deviantart.com/journal/15211693/ http://Savior-Replica.deviantart.com/journal/15211693/ Thu, 25 Oct 2007 06:05:34 PDT
Man...took a few precious minutes out of my life to back track and see all of the old comments and journals I have made over the couple of years I have been on DA. I laughed. I cried. I came. So much stupid drama. I never realized how much of an insane BITCH I can be.

]]> ~Savior-Replica http://Savior-Replica.deviantart.com/journal/12267522/ http://Savior-Replica.deviantart.com/journal/12267522/ Wed, 21 Mar 2007 05:38:01 PDT
I have recently dropped out of college and am trying to bring my problems here in Pittsburgh to an end. Beside the money problems, it became pretty clear to me that because of how I have changed here(mentally and everything), I'm not really meant for this right now. This place is meant for kids who don't have to work and have mommy and daddy fitting the bill for everything so they can focus on school and don't have to be subjected to the vile cold of this city on a daily basis. I'm not exactly bashing those types (and there are plenty around here), but I am a little jealous of them.

Now what's going to happen is that I am going to move into the little basement at work and live there for awhile and try to figure some things out while I save all of the money I make. Some options are me going to California with my sister to get into a potentially better situation, military, or..stay here and get into a hella cheaper school. I have yet to decide. All I know now is that I need money.

I have also spoken to my father recently. We had a nice long conversation about what I've been doing. Although things have been terrible between us from the day I was born to only recently, I know I can trust him for a no bullshit and relatively educated opinion. He says that going to California with my sister would probably be best. I want my relationship with my family to improve (only those members who want it to) since it has been completely shredded. For that to happen, I have to be honest with them. Me being gay is a pretty big secret that I didn't want many of them to hear, but I do now. If anything good came from this city, it is that it has made me more honest.

So, to recap, out of school, hate the north, planning on next step, trying.

]]> ~Savior-Replica http://Savior-Replica.deviantart.com/journal/10832948/ http://Savior-Replica.deviantart.com/journal/10832948/ Fri, 24 Nov 2006 10:06:49 PST
Right now, my plans are to save up alot of money and transfer the hell out of Pittsburgh. Maybe to Chicago so i can keep in touch with my last family. As soon as i get some more things taken care of, I am really going to do it. Hopefully this new change of scenery will provoke a new mind set.... a better one. I also aim to get some more artwork done and finall become active on DA again.

I just remember how i was when i first got up here and I look at how i am now and I am greatly saddened. I don't know what exactly has happened to me or why, but I feel like a total stranger in my own skin and am scared. I just need to make sense of things...and finally see the doctor.

Everyone, stay well.

]]> ~Savior-Replica http://Savior-Replica.deviantart.com/journal/9357805/ http://Savior-Replica.deviantart.com/journal/9357805/ Wed, 12 Jul 2006 19:16:23 PDT
My classes are nice and I passed everything last semester! Yay me! There are some expensive books I have to buy, though. Maybe buy..there are ways around this problem. I mean, I am NOT going to pay $80 for a goddamn speech book. No freaking way! Or another $60 for a comp lit. book! Greedy vultures!

Anyway...no school or work tomarrow, so if I'm not hanging out with somebody (I never am anyway), then I may just go down to the strip district and get some nicely priced sushi or something...maybe go clothes shopping (I need more).

Have a good day, yall. ]]> ~Savior-Replica http://Savior-Replica.deviantart.com/journal/9306614/ http://Savior-Replica.deviantart.com/journal/9306614/ Fri, 07 Jul 2006 21:37:57 PDT
It's been awhile. I haven't posted anything in quite some time and it is because I have lost alot of interest in DA. Honestly, it is because of my life at this point has become quite beneath desired standards.

I hate this dicusting city to the core! God! It is so very amusing looking back at some of my previous posts praising this place and now knowing how much it MAKES ME SICK!! There is like a slime..or a film on everything...a cold and nauseating coat that I despise so much. Now this may make no sense now, but..lets continue.

I am sooo damned lonely around here..I hate being alone. It makes me think too much and when I think, or should I say"self reflect", I can't help but think about bad things... I mean..I feel like nobody..I'm nowhere. Everything like the weather, the feel, the everything around here feels so revolting and muggy.

It seems that my family up here wants nothing to do with me anymore..I mean..over the course of 5 years, people change and I'm not the same person I was. Yes, I have changed. I poisoned my very being in order to keep from being hurt by my "loved ones". Who I was then is just too far gone. And the loneliness and darkness in this place has only made things worse. I've descovered things about myself that have only led to more and more painful confusion..I can't come out to people because I know they can't be trusted. My TMJ is also to blame for some things..for the start of me losing a grip on myself.

I just want help and I want out of this darkness. I am tired of being alone..I need people around me that want to be... Crying for the first time in 4 years, a few months ago, felt good, but it only led to more confusion. I realized I could love a person..this didn't quite bold well with a part of me and it brought fourth a fear like nothing I have ever felt. First anxiety attack !

I've made my choice. If possible, without too many problems, I am going to move back to texas and get transferred to the Art Institute of Dallas at the end of this next quarter. I will be closer to my friends and I will be back home. Away from this place once and for all. Nobody wants anything to do with me here. I know that may sound like some kind of self pity, but it is a real realization..i mean..when I need something from a person, it is like pulling teeth..and I'm the ass hole because of it...I mean, I don't ask for help unless I actually need it. I have my stupid man-pride, you know..

Seriously though..I just want this feeling to go away, I want my internal order back, and I want to feel passion again. I want to be ME for the first time in years.

I am a jerk for not posting anything, but I still have no scanner and I'm not even getting a chance to find one considering that i've had to work all damned break while my co-workers get to go out and have fun at will...really really pisses me off. it's my tunr, but being the "nice guy" I am obligated to stay and help out my boss.. ]]> ~Savior-Replica http://Savior-Replica.deviantart.com/journal/8440780/ http://Savior-Replica.deviantart.com/journal/8440780/ Tue, 11 Apr 2006 17:16:53 PDT
I am loving Pittsburgh! . Things are much better now than they were last week. I was pretty depressed and lonely at that point, but I am in high spirits now . School is going good. I am procrastinating a bit, but things are getting done.

Yeah..it is pretty nice around here..even the porn theater across the street is looking nice with all the lights and such. lol

(omg! My subscription is about to expire!)

]]> ~Savior-Replica http://Savior-Replica.deviantart.com/journal/8327686/ http://Savior-Replica.deviantart.com/journal/8327686/ Fri, 31 Mar 2006 21:47:20 PST
I was able to check out a few dorms before I made a decision on the one I would pick. The first 2, I hated. The 3rd one I checked out was pretty nice. I never met my potential roomates though, but I will tomarrow. I hope they are cool people =/. I officially move in on Saturday, so I will have a free day to walk around Pittsburgh. The people I do know around there are all at a convention and will be there until Sunday night, but that's okay..I'll have fun...alone .

It was with the help of many people that I was able to get in, so please check them out. They are a great group of people!



Thanks to you all!

If I forgot someone, let me know.

]]> ~Savior-Replica http://Savior-Replica.deviantart.com/journal/7830234/ http://Savior-Replica.deviantart.com/journal/7830234/ Tue, 07 Feb 2006 15:58:13 PST

It was a good day. Lonely, but good.

]]> ~Savior-Replica http://Savior-Replica.deviantart.com/journal/7737307/ http://Savior-Replica.deviantart.com/journal/7737307/ Sun, 29 Jan 2006 01:01:58 PST

Some good things are happening in my world. I just sold my Ebay item for $256 and am significantly happy about that. I am taking on a new art genre that I have wanted to try for some time, but have just been... too busy? Anyway, I hope that pleases certain people.

I was kinda in a pit of despair for some time there where it seemed that I couldn't make many artistic advancements. It's just.. over a little less than a years time, I haven't improved a whole lot . It's probably because I was really distracted by another activity which is now no longer around and, hopefully, for the best.

~Goodnight

]]> ~Savior-Replica http://Savior-Replica.deviantart.com/journal/7671489/ http://Savior-Replica.deviantart.com/journal/7671489/ Sat, 21 Jan 2006 22:42:00 PST
My stepdad was away at school for the past few months and such and everything seemed fine before he left, but after he got back a couple of days ago, I noticed how detached he was acting and my mother also noticed and asked him about it. I left the room as soon as that conversation started and when I came back out, she was crying and I just tunred around and walked back out.

Soon after, he called a family meeting and told us that he wasn't happy in the marriage anymore and that he wants to separate from my mom. The thing is is that he apparently did this before last time he went to Iraq. Seemingly he got the taste of the single life and wants it back, plus my mother (and me to some extent) believes that he is cheating on her and just wants to be with this other girl or something. This was also something that happened last time.

It is especially difficult to think about and it is depressing because after being a part of hateful families growing up, they actually were really close and loving and it was like the light at the end of a tunnel. I guess that light turned out to be a train. Almost all of my confidence in realationships has dissapeared. Another thing is is that this was my plan. To come up here to a stable household where I wouldn't be stressed out, I could go to school, and I could just get on with my life comfortably. Now, I am going to have to completely throw out that plan because of his idiocy...My mother, me, and my sister are all going to go down to Pennsylvania now to stay with one of her friends and I am going to have to get a job to help support them because I have nowhere else to go and nothing else to do.

They did do pretty well compared to some couples. 11 years, statistically, isn't too bad... =/

On a "brighter side", there is an art college (a supposedly nice one) down there that I may decided to attend.

I just feel so shitty right now and I am not trying to make anyone feel bad. I just needed to tell somebody is all.

]]> ~Savior-Replica http://Savior-Replica.deviantart.com/journal/6809035/ http://Savior-Replica.deviantart.com/journal/6809035/ Wed, 19 Oct 2005 11:59:14 PDT








~Savior-Replica