http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:ShatteredSmile&section=today deviantART RSS for by:ShatteredSmile en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Thu, 26 Nov 2009 08:21:49 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://ShatteredSmile.deviantart.com/journal/20138945/ http://ShatteredSmile.deviantart.com/journal/20138945/ Sun, 24 Aug 2008 21:25:58 PDT I decided to break down and do one of these memes for kicks. The idea, apparently, is that you pick a band and answer the following questions with only song titles from that band. I would have done Porcupine Tree except my friend already did that.

And thus, I'm using song titles from Katatonia.

1. Are you male or female?
I Am Nothing

2. Describe yourself.
Fractured

3. What do people feel when they're around you?
Consternation

4. How would you describe your previous relationship?
Had To (Leave)

5. Describe your current relationship.
Dissolving Bonds

6. Where would you want to be now?
Right Into the Bliss

7. How do you feel about love?
Journey Through Pressure

8. What's your life like?
One Year From Now

9. What would you ask for if you had only one wish?
Inside the City of Glass

10. Say something wise.
No Good Can Come of This

]]> ~ShatteredSmile http://ShatteredSmile.deviantart.com/journal/19629576/ http://ShatteredSmile.deviantart.com/journal/19629576/ Sun, 27 Jul 2008 19:43:08 PDT
So far, I've done the following:

- Gone to see the Toro Muerto petroglyphs: Inca rock carvings that remind me of the Anazazi part of Timelapse, best computer game in the world
- Gone to see the seaside town of Camana, riding a boat with the fisherman to see the sea lions and penguins
- Accidentally poked a passing Peruvian in the eye while trying to hail a taxi
- Got a lot of crepes for my birthday dinner on July 24
- Hiked on a three-day long trek to Colca Canyon, bathed in hot springs and saw huge condors
- Mis-asked a kid their age SO horribly (I said: "how do you have years?") that another girl had to translate for her
- Drunk coca mate a LOT
- Developed a British inflection in my speech
- Aaaaand various other shenanigans

And it's a little startling to realize that I can make friends wherever I go.

]]> ~ShatteredSmile http://ShatteredSmile.deviantart.com/journal/18987890/ http://ShatteredSmile.deviantart.com/journal/18987890/ Sun, 22 Jun 2008 17:50:27 PDT
I'm home from London for the summer, which was a good experience. I learned a lot of good things abroad, and I'm glad I did it. I ended up seeing a whole lot of countries, like France, Spain, Denmark, Belgium, Scotland, and the Netherlands.

I'm here in the US for two more weeks, doing summer things like copious reading, drawing, practicing Spanish, sometimes visiting friends... that kind of thing. Then I'm off to Peru for five weeks to volunteer in an orphanage/school in Arequipa and take intensive Spanish tutoring.

As you all may have noticed I've been posting a lot of what I call "calendar art" lately. Things that are pretty but don't take that much skill if you happen to be in the places I've been. I've collected a ton of these kind of pictures during my travels, so I'll be posting a bit of those. I've been a little bereft of creativity in terms of conceptual art, unfortunately, but I'm going to try to delve a little bit into a couple new black and white series before I leave for Peru.

Hope everyone is doing well!




i'm just scared
i'm just scared
i'm just scared
everybody is

]]> ~ShatteredSmile http://ShatteredSmile.deviantart.com/journal/16084227/ http://ShatteredSmile.deviantart.com/journal/16084227/ Mon, 24 Dec 2007 20:53:20 PST
Read all about my adventures abroad, if you wish.

[link]



]]> ~ShatteredSmile http://ShatteredSmile.deviantart.com/journal/14829269/ http://ShatteredSmile.deviantart.com/journal/14829269/ Fri, 28 Sep 2007 15:42:52 PDT Kunochi

1. I think it is the height of sophistication to spout 'your mom' to random, obscure questions or comments.

2. I often 'lose myself,' or dissociate, very easily during fictional stories such as gripping books or television shows. When I inevitably return to reality, I get very depressed.

3. My priorities are as follows:
School work
Sleep
My friends' mental health
My health
Volunteer work
Socializing
My photo society (lol notice how low it is here?)

4. I love saying lololollolol frequently and often because it's hilarious.

5. I always get depressed friday nights.

6. I love obscure music.

7. I think maintaining boundaries are possibly the most important thing in relationships.

8. That said, I really don't socialize that much. I love my friends, I just like to spend a lot of time alone.

9. I'm trying to learn how to say 'no.'

10. I want to volunteer in an orphanage in the Peruvian mountains this summer.

I take... ~AquaDragon and your mom.

]]> ~ShatteredSmile http://ShatteredSmile.deviantart.com/journal/14594266/ http://ShatteredSmile.deviantart.com/journal/14594266/ Tue, 11 Sep 2007 18:24:21 PDT
Except I don't have any time.

I spend 20 hours a week in classes.

Another 40 hours a week studying.

Another 10 hours a week with society stuff and volunteering.

And during the rest of the time, when I'm not sleeping or eating, I'm constantly irritable and exhausted.

Whatevs.

]]> ~ShatteredSmile http://ShatteredSmile.deviantart.com/journal/13580277/ http://ShatteredSmile.deviantart.com/journal/13580277/ Mon, 02 Jul 2007 15:46:32 PDT
Summer has been great. Let's go over all the nice things I'm doing.

- studying Spanish
- drawing (sometimes)
- roleplaying lots
- reading
- breaking into abandoned places
- hanging out occasionally with friends
- cleaning out every aspect of my room
- studying new vocabulary words
- going to NYC for a few days
- attending the pre-conference in for 18th annual psychological trauma conference
- taking hang gliding lessons in August with my brother
- studying for the MCATs (in August)
- lastly and foremostly, working a 40-hour week as a teacher at a school and residential facility for children with autism and other pervasive developmental disorders (ok basically the best job in the world because I LOVE the adolescent girls I work with)

Cheers. ]]> ~ShatteredSmile http://ShatteredSmile.deviantart.com/journal/12820256/ http://ShatteredSmile.deviantart.com/journal/12820256/ Wed, 02 May 2007 19:08:03 PDT hourglass-sentinel

1. Do you like animals?
What kind of a silly thing is that to ask me?

2. Have you ever met an online friend in person?
No but that'd be really cool.

3. Are you athletic?
Sorta? In and out. I tend to stay in decent shape when I'm not drowning in work. But then once I stop exercising it's really hard for me to start again.

4. Are you: thin, fat, athletically built etc?
Not really any. In between.

5. How much do you weigh?
Roughly 150.

6. What's your height?
5' 8" or 9"

7. Shoe size?
Like 11

8. Girls - are you tomboyish, girly, normal, etc?
In between tomboyish and normal. Completely not girly at all.

How old are you?
19 LOLOLOLOL

9. When is your birthday?
July 24. I'm a summer baby; it's the reason I'm so SMOKIN HOT (kidding, for those of you who don't know me).

12. Do you like to receive gift art?
Yes it makes me very happy.

13. Are you sociable?
Other people think I am. I'm actually not really.

14. Do you have many friends?
Yeah some. Enough.

15. What's your race?
Norweigan, German, Irish, Welsch.

16. Do you like to talk on the phone?
Not really. Depends who it is. It's ok every once in a while.

17. Are you single or taken?
I have "back off" tatooed on my forehead. And I was going to name a more explicit body part. I don't think so.

18. Do you eat meat?
No. Well, free range meat.

19. Are you paranoid?
Nope.

20. Do you read a lot?
YES LOVE LOVE LOVE! Mostly psychopathology books.

21. Do you listen to music, what kind?
Alternative/death metal, rock... other kinds... just good stuff.

22. Do you play any instruments?
PIANO LOLOLOLOL

23. How long have you been drawing?
On and off for like a couple years. -shrug- It's not my calling, whatevs.

24. What's the meaning of life?
There isn't one and there doesn't need to be one.

25. Now tag five of your friends! They MUST take this quiz and post it in their journal

I tag.... your mom.

]]> ~ShatteredSmile http://ShatteredSmile.deviantart.com/journal/12374944/ http://ShatteredSmile.deviantart.com/journal/12374944/ Thu, 29 Mar 2007 11:58:22 PDT Overneurotic
Don’t know what to do with these oversized brains
The motif of the human way

Go gamble with your guns and your anger
Don’t come to me with your delusions of grandeur
Meant to comfort
Do onto others as they have done onto you
I don’t want to see it anymore


. . .

]]> ~ShatteredSmile http://ShatteredSmile.deviantart.com/journal/11871455/ http://ShatteredSmile.deviantart.com/journal/11871455/ Sun, 18 Feb 2007 17:30:10 PST
* Is identity a set of core values/opinions/traits or is how other people define you?
* If you must compare yourself to others in order to have a self, what if you were the only person on earth?
* What if someone has no core and is a pure social chameleon? Do they have no identity?
* How integral is identity to being human, and are social chameleons lacking in some essential part of humanity?
* How does one reconcile dissociation into this view? Are dissociated parts of oneself part of your identity or a seperate identity, such as in DID (dissociative identity disorder)? Is one, then, made up of tens or hundreds of seperate identities?
* Relating to the previous question, is the self a cohesive body or is it fractured by nature?
* Does memory make identity? What if someone has no memory?

I would love for anyone to share their opinions. This is a very abstract topic, clearly, but any and all of your thoughts will help me piece together the ideas I need to convey through my photography.

]]> ~ShatteredSmile http://ShatteredSmile.deviantart.com/journal/11810084/ http://ShatteredSmile.deviantart.com/journal/11810084/ Wed, 14 Feb 2007 07:01:29 PST hourglass-sentinel has tagged me.

RULES!
The 1st player of this "game" starts with the topic "6 weird habits/things/hates about yourself" and people who get tagged MUST write a journal about their 6 weird habits/things/hates as well as state this rule clearly. In the end, you need to choose the next 6 people to be tagged and list their names. Don't forget to leave a comment that says "you are tagged" in their devpage comments and tell them to read yours.


1) If I sit too long in any one spot, I fall asleep. This makes driving rather difficult.

2) On that note, I have very bizarre, vivid, emotionally charged, hallucinatory dreams. Plus I talk in my sleep.

3) I say 'your mom' way too much.

4) I eat food that "clearly requires a spoon" (say some) with a fork.

5) I oscillate between feeling a lot of compassion for people and hating the human race.

6) I love touching other people and being touched.

I tag... =IfrozenspiritI, ~AquaDragon, ~kifani, ~Darkside01741, ~Lenval, ~amazon-209. So there.

]]> ~ShatteredSmile http://ShatteredSmile.deviantart.com/journal/11682139/ http://ShatteredSmile.deviantart.com/journal/11682139/ Sun, 04 Feb 2007 10:00:36 PST
But in the end, we are all monogamous to ourselves.

]]> ~ShatteredSmile http://ShatteredSmile.deviantart.com/journal/11262926/ http://ShatteredSmile.deviantart.com/journal/11262926/ Sun, 31 Dec 2006 18:20:40 PST
I want to spend the rest of my life taking care of the people that no one else wants to take care of.

]]> ~ShatteredSmile http://ShatteredSmile.deviantart.com/journal/10888835/ http://ShatteredSmile.deviantart.com/journal/10888835/ Wed, 29 Nov 2006 09:53:28 PST cooley yay.

Write about six weird characteristics you possess.

1) I can't count how many times I've been told I'm insane.

2) I haven't been bored or lonely in many years.

3) I'm extremely easy to stress/overstimulate, along with a genetic propensity towards depression.

4) I have a sleep disorder, delayed sleep phase syndrome, which is extremely interfering in my life.

5) I have a very dysfunctional relationship with sugar, which I have tried to end many a time. Someone once asked me why sugar is like crack to me--that perfectly describes it.

6) I'm obsessed with YOU.

I tag whoever watches me and feels like doing this.

]]> ~ShatteredSmile http://ShatteredSmile.deviantart.com/journal/10454629/ http://ShatteredSmile.deviantart.com/journal/10454629/ Fri, 20 Oct 2006 10:41:53 PDT
No one likes me.
I'm not pretty enough.
I don't have enough money.
Our relationship would be better if we could spend more time together.
I'm terrible at chemistry.
I can make my parents accept me if I try hard enough.
The world is supposed to be fair.
I'm supposed to be more successful.
Having a boyfriend will make me happy.
My parents are supposed to have empathy for me.

The world should be different than how it really is.

Experiences don't hurt us. The stories we tell ourselves about these events do.

So if you're unhappy, try telling yourself a different story.

]]> ~ShatteredSmile http://ShatteredSmile.deviantart.com/journal/10261327/ http://ShatteredSmile.deviantart.com/journal/10261327/ Mon, 02 Oct 2006 15:18:53 PDT
But there it goes again, that omnipresent tendency to want others to conform to our own handwritten rules on How To Be Perfect or How You Can Fix My Life. Would be could be should be. So foolish, but I suppose I'm as guilty of it as anyone else is. If you don't believe so, then you don't understand what I'm saying. Which maybe isn't such a bad thing.

People aren't diverse. People are judgmental, condemnatory, childish, stereotyping, conforming, and unhappy.

You know, I have recently thought of what the scariest thing in the world would be. Spiders? Closed spaces? Not to me. I think the most frightening experience would be to live in a world with people and things you didn't know were real or not. Like trapped in a dreamworld, with glimpses into the true reality, but unable to determine which was more real.

I don't know what reality is. Can anyone know? To most people, reality is a construct we based from our nerve endings--the interaction of the world we live in and our nervous system. I don't know if this is really what is real or not, but I guess it doesn't matter. No one will ever know, so what is the purpose of ruminating over it?

]]> ~ShatteredSmile http://ShatteredSmile.deviantart.com/journal/10153815/ http://ShatteredSmile.deviantart.com/journal/10153815/ Fri, 22 Sep 2006 16:08:14 PDT
I'm trying to decide between training to be an EMT for 2 college years or to go abroad for a semester in New Zealand junior year. I can't do both because the EMT squad (heehee squad) only wants people who will do it for four consecutive semesters. For years I assumed I wanted to go abroad, but now I want to do this too and it's making me sad. >.< I need to come up with a choice soon because the due date for the applications for the EMT class is coming up soon.

Here is what I have so far for the pros vs. cons:

EMT
PROS
-Really interested in health/trauma
-Get to take the cool-awesome class
-It would be something I would really enjoy
-Possibly help a smidgeon with med school

CONS
-Have to stay on campus during call
-Might be called when I’m depressed/don’t feel up to it
-One person I really don't work well with is in the group (Not gonna name names. xD)
-The class takes up a lot of time and I wouldn’t be able to take a fifth class in addition to it, which I wanted to do
-I don’t know anything about locations on campus, which means I would get lost easily on a way to fix a broken arm

JUNIOR SEMESTER ABROAD
PROS
-I love traveling and it would be great to photograph New Zealand
-I could experiment with different kinds of classes than I'm used to

CONS
-I’m scared of not being able to pack that much for a semester, since I'm obviously flying there
-I would get really homesick
-Wouldn’t be able to take classes I wanted to take at Hamilton
-Independent living in a different country freaks me out



Argh why does life give me stupid-awesome opportunites and then expect me to pick between them!

]]> ~ShatteredSmile http://ShatteredSmile.deviantart.com/journal/9973186/ http://ShatteredSmile.deviantart.com/journal/9973186/ Tue, 05 Sep 2006 05:21:16 PDT
Free sketches to the first 10 commenters.

The Rules:

• Only one character per requestee.
• You must repost this meme in your journal if you get accepted for a request.
• References for original characters please.
• Fanart allowed, as long as I know what you're talking about!

Copyright belongs to original creator of the character! ]]> ~ShatteredSmile http://ShatteredSmile.deviantart.com/journal/9960685/ http://ShatteredSmile.deviantart.com/journal/9960685/ Mon, 04 Sep 2006 07:17:09 PDT
* * *


# *Survey - The following survey is for an article I am writing for the Northern Light (UAA) Newspaper. I need as many people as possible to fill out both this survey and the photography poll so I can get accurate data. If you would be so kind, please link back to this survey and poll in your journal so your friends/watchers can fill it out as well. Please do not fill out this survey if you do not use a camera or photograph often. The article is slated for release in approximately two weeks (September 14, 2006).


1.) Full name? (and titles if applicable)

2.) Age?

3.) Level of education?

4.) Major? (if applicable)

5.) Career? (if applicable)

6.) Do you consider yourself to be a professional photogapher?

7.) Type(s) of camera(s) you own?

8.) Type of camera you prefer to use? (Please note what type of film it uses, or if it is digital.)

9.) Why do you prefer this camera?

10.) What kind of subjects do you photograph? (portraits, animals, sports, etc.)

11.) How often do you use your camera?

12.) Why do you prefer traditional over digital, or vice versa?

13.) What are your thoughts on 35mm film? (Will it always be around or is it becoming obsolete?)

14.) Any comments on digital versus traditional photography? (Please be brief.)

15.) Do I have your permission to quote any of the above information/comments in my article?


# *Please Note - If you do not fill out this information correctly (as in, not including you full-name, titles, etc.) I cannot quote you if you give me permission to. (Do not leave the last question blank either!) Please fill out this information as accurately as possible, I do not need lenghty responses, I just need short answers and quotable material. Your opinion is very important, for it reflects the opinion of a large art community. Thanks again for taking the time to fill this out! ]]> ~ShatteredSmile http://ShatteredSmile.deviantart.com/journal/9887192/ http://ShatteredSmile.deviantart.com/journal/9887192/ Mon, 28 Aug 2006 16:50:08 PDT
I wish there was a hole in my head so the sun could get in.

]]> ~ShatteredSmile http://ShatteredSmile.deviantart.com/journal/9745869/ http://ShatteredSmile.deviantart.com/journal/9745869/ Wed, 16 Aug 2006 08:42:49 PDT
And not toilet trained, though I am toilet trained. Something far superior.

Trained for chemistry. For whatever the marvelous world of chemistry can throw my way. Yes, I can tackle the problems, I have the tools to kick its big bad ass.

That's right. I finished my chemistry class.

-wild applause in the background- -shrieks of adoration-

This means more time for the creative work I've been craving to do, including roleplaying and drawing. I have only ten more days before I head back to Hamilton, but those days are going to be chock(chalk?)-full of all the craziness I can muster. Plus I'm going to New Hampshire for a few days to visit bean and to Marblehead for a few days to visit Caiwin. Oh, and my dad I guess.

So maybe I'm not going to be as carefree as I might have liked, but oh well. Summer's goin' out with a bang.

Works in Progress
~ Trade with silverspitfire - coloring
~ Trade with pristrix - coloring ]]> ~ShatteredSmile http://ShatteredSmile.deviantart.com/journal/9500233/ http://ShatteredSmile.deviantart.com/journal/9500233/ Wed, 26 Jul 2006 11:22:21 PDT

I can validate my own experience.


I can validate my own experience. ]]> ~ShatteredSmile http://ShatteredSmile.deviantart.com/journal/9300729/ http://ShatteredSmile.deviantart.com/journal/9300729/ Fri, 07 Jul 2006 10:39:16 PDT
For example.

I had to cancel the volunteering with at-risk toddlers because I came to the sudden realization that there wasn't enough hours in the day to do that + my internship + my class. Same goes for babysitting. I don't even know what I was thinking there.

Haven't been scuba diving mainly because I haven't been to my dad's house... though I DID go to Marblehead this past fourth of July. Of course, I had just had surgery on my freaking tailbone, so I couldn't go swimming for risk of introducing bacterial. There goes that plan.

Haven't really done that much instrument praticing, though I HAVE to say, I'm getting mighty skilled at my didgeridoo drone. I can officially drone now for 17 seconds without taking a breath. My goal is to reach 20.

Spanish on CD going pretty well, though slowly. And I realize now that they only teach you how to speak it, not to write it. Score. Oh, and the stick shift thing? Not working out at all.

We'd have put Dannick Tetronic on a DVD by now except that the codec got outdated and now it's crap because I can't open it without crashing the computer. Which pisses me off. And I'm supposed to do these experiments to figure things out and I'm too tired all the time to do it.

Infiltration and rock climbing = good shiz. XD My wrists get SO sore when we rock climb though, to the point of me not being able to pick up a water bottle. And though Xanna and I have only been on one infiltration trip, it was pretty kickass, and we have an even cooler one planned next weekend.

Photography = not really. Just haven't been taking much pictures, although I experienced a resurgence of a desire to draw, so I've been doing a lot of that, especially human and animal anatomy. Check out my scraps for some random shots of my sketchbook.

Hang gliding lessons are still in the works. They're a possibility, if I get my massive exhaustion under control.

Now, to the two biggest parts of my summer: my chem class and my suicide hotline internship. My class is so much friggin work. It sucks up basically all my time. I leave at 9 each morning and I come back between 5-7pm every night. The concepts aren't that hard though... yet. And my hotline is amazingly interesting and really tough. It's been a lot of exercise for my psychological boundaries. I've made a few mistakes, but I've learned from them.

Oh, and my health has had some ups and downs. Earlier in the summer I had nearly chronic headaches, so I eliminated sugar from my diet and the headaches stopped, which basically means I was insulin resistant. I've completely redone my nutritional tendencies, and feel better... mostly.

Already mentioned the surgery... don't want to go too much into that because it was hella humiliating... oh, and so I've been tired pretty much all the time, falling asleep on the train, in class, missing stuff... it's been grim. So I got bloodwork done yesterday... they're checking for low thyroid function, mono, lyme disease, and anema. At this point I figure if it's any one of those, it's hypothyroidism. Which would be really nice because it's easily fixable and I would like not to feel tired all the time.

Oh, and the whole "seeing friends this summer" thing? Yeah. Haven't gotten a spare breath in between working and sleeping and eating foods with a low glycemic load and high phytonutrient index. Rawr.



And the only reason I'm even writing this is because I'm waiting for my chemistry review session to start.

Now here's a little poem for you all:

If you're on fire
Then get your sire
And ask him to pour water on your head
The water is blue
It will work before you can say "choo"
Maybe even before you are dead.

]]> ~ShatteredSmile http://ShatteredSmile.deviantart.com/journal/8828494/ http://ShatteredSmile.deviantart.com/journal/8828494/ Sat, 20 May 2006 18:49:17 PDT
- An intensive 8 week chemistry class at Harvard worth two college credits
- Babysitting as my only source of income
- Interning job on a 24-hour suicide hotline
- Volunteering as an assistant teacher in a preschool for at-risk toddlers
- Plan the tutoring/mentoring section of the Underground Cafe (place for teens in Utica, NY)
- Learn Spanish on CD
- Learn stick shift
- Go rock climbing with Xanna
- Finish Legend of Dannick Tetronis (the movie Xanna and I have been working on for a full 4 or 5 years) and put it on a DVD
- Take hang gliding classes with Dicky (my younger brother)
- Lots of scuba diving at dad's house, including ship wrecks
- Weekend trips to ghost towns
- Urban infiltration... in other words, breaking into places I shouldn't be breaking into -shifty eyes-
- Working on conceptual photography, especially some social commentary
- Practice piano, Native American flute, and the didgeridoo

And there's my long-winded plans! Doncha just love 'em? ]]> ~ShatteredSmile http://ShatteredSmile.deviantart.com/journal/8407077/ http://ShatteredSmile.deviantart.com/journal/8407077/ Sat, 08 Apr 2006 10:56:11 PDT The 1st player of this "game" starts with the topic "6 weird habits/things about yourself" and people who get tagged need to write a journal about their 6 weird habits/things as well as state this rule clearly. In the end, you need to choose the next 6 people to be tagged and list their names. Don't forget to leave a comment that says "you are tagged" in their devpage comments and tell them to read yours.

Habit #1 -

When I get really angry, I'll just shut down and look completely calm, but I'm actually really dangerous to talk to at that point. This doesn't happen too often, but when it does, it's usually completely random.

Habit #2 -

I use forks for EVERYTHING with the exception of cereal, soup, and oatmeal. I really don't like spoons.

Habit #3 -

I alternate between feeling misanthropic, disappointed and angry with other people, and enormously compassionate for others.

Habit #4 -

I really really love picking people up and touching other people's hair and hugging people, but it's a sign of utter trust if I do. I'm afraid of touching people I don't know extremely well.

Habit #5 -

I can flare my nostrils larger than any girl in this world.

Habit #6 -

I'm enormously curious and tend to ask a lot of questions, especially about peoples' childhoods.

And I tag...

AquaDragon
Darkside01741
wackyfreak32
laundered
amazon-209
IfrozenspiritI

(Whatever, I don't know how to link - don't be hatin') ]]> ~ShatteredSmile http://ShatteredSmile.deviantart.com/journal/8218146/ http://ShatteredSmile.deviantart.com/journal/8218146/ Mon, 20 Mar 2006 14:57:33 PST
It felt like wet fungus.

That will be all.

]]> ~ShatteredSmile http://ShatteredSmile.deviantart.com/journal/8186670/ http://ShatteredSmile.deviantart.com/journal/8186670/ Fri, 17 Mar 2006 09:34:18 PST
I'm at the Grand Cayman with the lustrous, the sunburnt, the awesome bawsome XANNA. It's been great so far; we got in on Wednesday after making fun of the guy on the plane's hair. We were those rowdy teenagers that no one likes to sit next to. And then we did a magic trick and went to the hotel. It was a magical time. Yesterday we just relaxed and went snorkling off the beach and I read a great book on the stigmatized epidemic of dissociation. Oh and then I got into an argument with Xanna's dad about electromagnetic radiation, but I emailed my professor and he said I was wrong. Booooo.

Today we are going to a turtle farm and the Botanic Park which is super cool because it has blue iguanas. Who doesn't like blue iguanas? And the turtles are supposed to be really super cute. I'll melt.

And then the next day we're going scuba diving, Sunday we're going to a labryinth of pirate caves, Monday we're going snorkling/scuba diving in Stingray City and get to feed a crapload of Stingrays, and Tuesday me and Xanmaster are going parasailing! And then Wednesday we're coming home again. It should be a magical time.

]]> ~ShatteredSmile http://ShatteredSmile.deviantart.com/journal/8083080/ http://ShatteredSmile.deviantart.com/journal/8083080/ Mon, 06 Mar 2006 11:27:29 PST
1) Have you ever been jailed? If so, what were the circumstances?
2) How would you feel if you were arrested?
3) What is your instant, gut reaction to anyone telling you they have previously been jailed?

]]> ~ShatteredSmile http://ShatteredSmile.deviantart.com/journal/8009390/ http://ShatteredSmile.deviantart.com/journal/8009390/ Sun, 26 Feb 2006 14:08:42 PST
Afterwards we stayed at a hotel in Hartford and watched cartoons all morning. You just gotta love Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

I spent the rest of the weekend at Vassar, which was pretty damn cool, let me tell you. The campus is beautiful even in the winter. But they do take their trees very seriously there.

In other news, some of my family has joined DeviantArt! Both my mom and my little brother, Kevin. They're both a little slow at putting up art, but give them a glance. Kevin likes submitting sketches and drawings, while my mom is more into photography (and is also friggin amazing at watercolor!). I don't know how to link them, but Kevin can be found at [link], and my mom at [link].

]]> ~ShatteredSmile http://ShatteredSmile.deviantart.com/journal/7452410/ http://ShatteredSmile.deviantart.com/journal/7452410/ Fri, 30 Dec 2005 00:13:43 PST
Actually, there is another reason too. Yesterday I was thinking of ways to raise money for good causes, and I could think of nothing. Can’t make art commissions, because I can’t draw. Can’t bake. Can’t really do much at all, besides read a lot about psychopathology and take care of fish. So I decided that in the slim chance that I could make any money at all by selling my photography, I would collect what I earn and donate it to charitable organizations, such as Plan International, Urban Improv, The Humane Society of the United States, New England Home for Little Wanderers (whom I might be interning with over the summer), and other various orphanages. If anyone who decides to buy a print of mine would like to specify what organization to donate the earnings to, please let me know and I will do what I can.

So these are my primary reasons that I now have a print account. On to other business.

I’m currently in the winter break of my college education, and I have a whole month off to relax. For Christmas I basically got a ton of books on psychology, which is what I wanted most. I suggested building a darkroom in the house without much enthusiasm from the parental units – but ah well, I’ll stick with digital photography for now. But even that has its various downsides; I’ve been reluctant to use my camera lately, particularly to take pictures of people. The reason is rather personal.

But anyways, enough of that. For the rest of the break, I shall be seeing friends, reading, applying to summer jobs, going to sleep at 6am and waking up at 2pm, hanging out with my brothers, breaking and entering into abandoned places (my new illegal hobby – urban exploration!), and other various endeavors.

VRN (Very Random News):
- Might be volunteering in Romania at some point in the near future at a gypsy orphanage my mom's friend's friend's 21-year-old daughter established.
- Decided that I would take up capoeira, a Brazilian martial art.
- Bought a didgeridoo on a hypomanic whim.
- Picked out a hang gliding school to learn how to hang glide with my brother this summer.
- Located a lot of abandoned places in New England for me to break into on one of my urban exploration endeavors.
- May be able to continue darkroom usage if a student-run darkroom club is established at Hamilton.
- Discovered that I really, really like flossing.

Have fun with your lives, and always remember: Don’t thank me. Thank Jesus.

]]> ~ShatteredSmile http://ShatteredSmile.deviantart.com/journal/6929167/ http://ShatteredSmile.deviantart.com/journal/6929167/ Tue, 01 Nov 2005 18:25:18 PST

So it goes. ]]> ~ShatteredSmile http://ShatteredSmile.deviantart.com/journal/6587902/ http://ShatteredSmile.deviantart.com/journal/6587902/ Sat, 24 Sep 2005 07:19:16 PDT
Now what the hell is with that?

In other news, I'm in love with the darkroom here at the school. It's so nice just to go there at midnight, listen to Opeth, and work.

And I also really want cake right now. Anyone have some damn cake? ]]> ~ShatteredSmile http://ShatteredSmile.deviantart.com/journal/6426005/ http://ShatteredSmile.deviantart.com/journal/6426005/ Mon, 05 Sep 2005 18:50:43 PDT

Also, I have had two people tell me that I need to get 'laid,' and a couple people tell me that they're going to make me smoke a joint. I protested by saying that my friend's little sister didn't want me to give into peer pressure.

Somehow, I don't think they find that a very legitamite excuse.

Otherwise, I find absolutely no reason to complain, besides my roommate being just a tad too loud in the morning when I'm still trying to sleep. The classes are great. Well, that's an exaggeration. Psychology is dead boring, because I have studied literally everything we're going over before, whether in classes or my own personal study. I have decided that I despise philosophy, as we're just studying a bunch of old men who debate back and forth on inane questions you really don't even need to know the answer to to be happy. Photography looks great regarding the course material and amount of work we have (a lot), but we're going too slow, since we haven't even gone over darkroom stuff yet, and the teacher is very intimidating. Anthropology is the only class I have no complaints about - I love it. Very good.

I have decided I don't need really really good friends here. I've already made my best friends in high school or earlier, and I don't need any more. However, I do have a great many friendly acquintances, which, surprisingly enough, are mostly boys. That's never happened to me before. I mean, when I think about Sean dancing with my moosh on his head (a big blue pillow) and singing "Genie in a Bottle," by Christine Aguilera (not even sure if that's how it's spelled - and yes Sean, I did just tell the whole artist community what you did), or Scott filming himself pouring warm water all over his sleeping roommate (who watches copius amounts of porn and never showers ) and dedicating it to the third floor Mac girls (we live on the third floor of the McIntosh building), I just have to laugh. ^^

All in all though - it's alllll good. I feel like I'm one big vacation. No drinking, no drugs, just lots of studying and hanging out and too little sleeping. PARTY! ]]> ~ShatteredSmile http://ShatteredSmile.deviantart.com/journal/6426004/ http://ShatteredSmile.deviantart.com/journal/6426004/ Mon, 05 Sep 2005 18:50:38 PDT

Also, I have had two people tell me that I need to get 'laid,' and a couple people tell me that they're going to make me smoke a joint. I protested by saying that my friend's little sister didn't want me to give into peer pressure.

Somehow, I don't think they find that a very legitamite excuse.

Otherwise, I find absolutely no reason to complain, besides my roommate being just a tad too loud in the morning when I'm still trying to sleep. The classes are great. Well, that's an exaggeration. Psychology is dead boring, because I have studied literally everything we're going over before, whether in classes or my own personal study. I have decided that I despise philosophy, as we're just studying a bunch of old men who debate back and forth on inane questions you really don't even need to know the answer to to be happy. Photography looks great regarding the course material and amount of work we have (a lot), but we're going too slow, since we haven't even gone over darkroom stuff yet, and the teacher is very intimidating. Anthropology is the only class I have no complaints about - I love it. Very good.

I have decided I don't need really really good friends here. I've already made my best friends in high school or earlier, and I don't need any more. However, I do have a great many friendly acquintances, which, surprisingly enough, are mostly boys. That's never happened to me before. I mean, when I think about Sean dancing with my moosh on his head (a big blue pillow) and singing "Genie in a Bottle," by Christine Aguilera (not even sure if that's how it's spelled - and yes Sean, I did just tell the whole artist community what you did), or Scott filming himself pouring warm water all over his sleeping roommate (who watches copius amounts of porn and never showers ) and dedicating it to the third floor Mac girls (we live on the third floor of the McIntosh building), I just have to laugh. ^^

All in all though - it's alllll good. I feel like I'm one big vacation. No drinking, no drugs, just lots of studying and hanging out and too little sleeping. PARTY! ]]> ~ShatteredSmile http://ShatteredSmile.deviantart.com/journal/6425740/ http://ShatteredSmile.deviantart.com/journal/6425740/ Mon, 05 Sep 2005 18:20:24 PDT
Also, I have had two people tell me that I need to get 'laid,' and a couple people tell me that they're going to make me smoke a joint. I protested by saying that my friend's little sister didn't want me to give into peer pressure.

Somehow I don't think that was a very legitamite excuse in their eyes.

Otherwise, I find absolutely no reason to complain, besides my roommate being just a tad too loud in the morning when I'm still trying to sleep. The classes are great. Well, that's an exaggeration. Psychology is dead boring, because I have studied literally everything we're going over before whether in classes or my own personal study. I have decided that I despise philosoph, as we're just studying a bunch of old men ]]> ~ShatteredSmile http://ShatteredSmile.deviantart.com/journal/6301538/ http://ShatteredSmile.deviantart.com/journal/6301538/ Mon, 22 Aug 2005 21:16:55 PDT It was a stretch for me, but after a while, I didn't even have to fake the social discomfort... my yummy Paxil fixed it all for me! (Which I am going to attempt to get off of after first semester, probably) I hugged lots of people, and the leaders were TOTALLY WICKED AWESOME! (Which is the expression that one of them used to wake us up each morning. Thanks a lot for those years of therapy, Paxton.)

After that, we took a well-deserved shower and went on a high ropes course. Everyone was really stretching themselves and everyone else was cheering them on... it was a really adult activity, methinks, and I had a ton of fun. I even met what looks to be a promising companion, Louisa, who has connections in Sweden that I may exploit. Plus I now know the names of literally fifty other kids, who know me as Laura and L-Train (thanks, Jerome, or J-man, as I dubbed him), which is huge for me. I could not even imagine being this outgoing in middle school or even freshman year.

So now I'm in a hotel room with my family, who is up for orientation, where I will hopefully meet some other people and help my roommate move in, as well as engage in a million activites they have planned for us. o_o

Cheers to everyone.

(NOTE: Xanna, so sorry I didn't get to call you back! I'm nearly unconscious now and I was afraid that I'd sound like I had a flat affect or something on the phone, but I promise I'll call you tomorrow.) ]]> ~ShatteredSmile http://ShatteredSmile.deviantart.com/journal/6053075/ http://ShatteredSmile.deviantart.com/journal/6053075/ Wed, 27 Jul 2005 22:38:32 PDT

I know I have comments to respond to, and I know that I have a million things to do right now, but I just had to share with you all a deeply... well, scary, painful, unbelievably fun, and exciting trip I took today with my very own lunny, =IfrozenspiritI, otherwise known as Rachel.

We have been pretty much ruminising (is that a word?) about this trip all summer, but it hasn't really been put into a real plan until my dad printed up maps with me and taught me how to use his old GPS system. Rachel and I were going to five choice ghost towns in various places in New Hampshire, and photograph our buttocks off! So at 7:30am this morning, we showered, stocked on provisions (which consisted of three yogurt covered almonds) and set off.

It was awesome in the car - just blasting music and reading Harry Potter outloud and laughing hysterically every third line. The first "ghost town" we arrived at, which according to my dad's records, held 1 house and 0 people, turned out to be a bust - it was covered in trees, and the house looked quite inhabited. No matter, we trudged on happily anyways.

The second ghost town was even more difficult to find than the first. We could not find the street to turn onto, and turned back and forth on the same goddamn road about five times. This is how I felt: . We tried to use the GPS (connected to a map program on my laptop), but realized that the computer was rapidly running out of battery power. No fun at all. We eventually turned off the computer with the intention of trying to find the road again on our way back.

The third ghost town was even more tricky. Not only did it involve driving slowly through the creepiest town in the world - Berlin, New Hampshire, complete with massive, smoke-pumping factories lining the area and hopeless looking kids practically standing in the street with nothing to do, but it also consisted of finding and driving down an unpaved road that claimed "no conventional motor vehicles allowed past this point." Oh well... until, that is, we realized that we couldn't even find the registration in the car, and if we were stopped by a cop, we would have been taken away in a paddywagon. Good times.

Anyways, so we decided to keep going down the road, rocks scraping the bottom of Rachel's poor old Mercury Sable, Spot (not very good words to hear in the middle of nowhere: "Did the bottom of the car always look like that?"). After about ten miles, we decided to pull the car over and walk. After all, my dad's maps declared there were only 2 or so miles to the ghost town (where 71 houses were and only 2 people), and our camera gear was light. We set off with a cheery grin and a bounce in our step.

A mile down... BAM! It was bad news for us, because the rain started POURING down... it was the hardest I'd ever seen it rain (second hardest, actually - the first being in Honduras), and we were in the middle of effing nowhere, no cell phones, dripping clothes, and the air getting colder and colder. It was quite a sight, with us trecking down the path, rain dripping from my glasses and Rachel with a saddlepad clutched over her head.

We eventually decided to abandon our shoes, since my flipflops were not getting me anywhere and Rachel's shoes weren't waterproof. We put them under the waterproof saddlepad with my tripod, but we figured we had come this far, so we might as well keep going... we were already soaking wet, and we wanted to see a ghost town!

We ended up... walking over an hour... with NOTHING ON THE EFFING TRAIL!! It was just... neverending! A trail of nothingness! We were soaking wet, our feet were aching, we were cold, hungry, and tired, and we had seen a dead rodent in the middle of a puddle on the way. We were not having a good time. We started back, trying to keep up our spirits by making "war songs," complete with Voldemort (nicknamed "Volds") coming out of the forest and telling Severus Snape off for trying to block the... ]]> ~ShatteredSmile http://ShatteredSmile.deviantart.com/journal/5980688/ http://ShatteredSmile.deviantart.com/journal/5980688/ Tue, 19 Jul 2005 19:42:09 PDT
In truth, how many of you buy other people's prints, for how much are you willing to buy them for, and how many of you are successful at selling your own prints? ]]> ~ShatteredSmile http://ShatteredSmile.deviantart.com/journal/5837425/ http://ShatteredSmile.deviantart.com/journal/5837425/ Mon, 04 Jul 2005 11:51:51 PDT some of our cases, sugarfree ), and just generally relaxing.

. . . or is it? . . .

To be quite honest, this summer has been rather hectic for an introverted, headachy, highly sensitive person like me. Not only have I been socializing tons (indeed, I have become quite close with one friend that I believe nearly (yes, nearly) considers me her best friend -- three cheers for Parissa!), but I've also been working hard for money, babysitting for the neighbors nearly every day, and doing (or in some cases, procrastinating from doing) many things that have needed to be done for quite a long time. This includes learning stick-shift, getting comfortable with driving on the highway, college papers, a hefty exercise regime, and piano practicing. And photography.

Oooh yes, photography.

Now here comes the MASSIVE amount of thanks to everyone who watches and supports my work. I really appreciate every single thing you say, even if it's: "This sux with an X." (Ok, so maybe not) Collectively, you are what inspires me and keeps me going. A thousand thanks to each and every one of you.

I have recently been incredibly motivated to learn some new photography techniques, especially since my dad purchased me a brand new Sony DSC-H1 for my graduation, which I happily dubbed Dextre. He's smart, funny, sensitive, caring... hell, I might as well be describing a new boyfriend. I bought a couple filters for him, including diffusion, cross star, red, infrared, UV, and a polarizer, and I'm getting very much into them. I also got two books on photography composition to improve (hopefully) my work, as well as one on filters so I can figure out what I'm doing.

So, that's the story on this summer. Thanks for hearing me out, and I hope everyone who lives in the United States has a happy fourth of July! Well, actually, I hope everyone does - it's not like it goes from the third to the fifth for those in other countries or anything.

Cheers and cookies,
Laura ]]> ~ShatteredSmile http://ShatteredSmile.deviantart.com/journal/5650399/ http://ShatteredSmile.deviantart.com/journal/5650399/ Tue, 14 Jun 2005 20:42:35 PDT


. . . smells like stupid toast.

(It no longer smells like magic.)


















PS: I'm sorry; I won't be able to respond to your comments anytime soon. I have carpal tunnel syndrome. ]]> ~ShatteredSmile http://ShatteredSmile.deviantart.com/journal/5468126/ http://ShatteredSmile.deviantart.com/journal/5468126/ Thu, 26 May 2005 13:39:03 PDT
Today... is the culmination of four years of toil, labor, exhaustion, red-rimmed eyes, and toes. Nay, not our graduation. The last day of school. I'm free! No more biology tests. No more rhetoric papers. No more damn reused water bottles.

But then again, today was also really sad. I was surprised at how fast my yearbook was filled with "I love yous" and "Never changes." It's weird to think of the fact that I'm never going to see these people again - at least, not most of them. It's sad. I even asked the evil librarian to pronounce "homicidal" for me after she yelled at my friends for having too many people at one table, not realizing that I was accidently threatening her. And my teachers! My english teacher gave me a box of lemon cookies with a sulfur-crested cockatoo on the cover and made me promise to visit him over Thanksgiving.

Yesterday I beat the crap out of five cops at once for a RAD program. I cried through the entire thing. It was the scariest thing I've ever had to do in my life, since they were attacking me/verbally abusing me.

In any case, I'm officially going to Hamilton college next year. My mom forbade me from going to Latin America, so I'm going after college instead. I'm really nervous about it - I don't feel ready, but maybe no one really does.

Best wishes to everyone. ]]> ~ShatteredSmile http://ShatteredSmile.deviantart.com/journal/5055566/ http://ShatteredSmile.deviantart.com/journal/5055566/ Sun, 10 Apr 2005 21:21:39 PDT
However, I'm pondering upon another option, instead of going to college next year, and more than pondering too. I'm almost positive I'm going to do it. I want to volunteer in Latin America for nine months out of next year, working in orphanages and rebuilding communities, complete with construction work, teaching english, rebuilding degraded areas, and animal rehabilitation. I will be working in such places like Costa Rica, Bolivia, Peru, Ecuador, El Salvador, Chile, and the Galapagos islands.

I'll miss my friends and home very much, but so would be the case in college. I very much want to do this. I might get some terrific photography in as well, though I may have to bring a digital camera instead of Ponder (my film beast), since I really don't want Ponder to be stolen. I really hope to catch some insight into the living conditions of the impoverished through photography.

Anyways, just wanted to update all on my plans. Hope everyone is doing well! ]]> ~ShatteredSmile http://ShatteredSmile.deviantart.com/journal/4801533/ http://ShatteredSmile.deviantart.com/journal/4801533/ Sun, 13 Mar 2005 11:30:31 PST
My near obsession with forgiveness...
My horrible, falsely constructed memories of guilt and wrongness...
My thoughts that I was a terrible person in a past life, if such past lives exist...
My obsessive perception that everyone I ever knew is angry with me and always will be...

They are all connected in one tangled knot.

(...Keep it quiet here
I will not TOLERATE your noise
This is where I listen for
The forgiving voice...)

I think that's how my social anxiety disorder began, but I am still blind as to why such persistent thoughts and compulsive behavior following those obsessions came from.

...it haunts my dreams
it haunts my dreams
it haunts my dreams
it haunts my dreams...

...this is where I listen for...

Please, please, just leave me alone...

...it haunts my dreams...

Why can't I forgive myself? Why do I need to forgive myself?

(This is where I listen for
The FORGIVING voice) ]]> ~ShatteredSmile http://ShatteredSmile.deviantart.com/journal/4379134/ http://ShatteredSmile.deviantart.com/journal/4379134/ Fri, 21 Jan 2005 17:43:37 PST
At one point, a group of people stopped to talk to us politely, then left again. However, one boy came back up and kicked the box I was in. Turning back and kindly pointing out to him that what he had done was very rude, his friends came back. Shouting explicitives at us, they told us they would break everything from our "fucking faces" to our "fucking camcorder." From then on, we recieved everything from cruel snickering and mild verbal abuse from most people we met, to people flat out surrounding us and kicking/hitting us or the box. It made me realize that the cruelty we were recieving, by being socially abnormal, was one night of the torment some shunned high school kids have to endure for years. Humans are vicious creatures - they find someone who doesn't fit into their society, corner them, and abuse them.

(Not to mention that because we were carrying a video camera, we got stopped by two security guards - one of which who was positively ready to arrest us because he was convinced he had already given us a warning. Yet another came over to our group and told us to "break it up." After that, an undercover cop followed us for half an hour.) ]]> ~ShatteredSmile http://ShatteredSmile.deviantart.com/journal/4302432/ http://ShatteredSmile.deviantart.com/journal/4302432/ Wed, 12 Jan 2005 12:20:24 PST
Hope everyone is doing well. ]]> ~ShatteredSmile http://ShatteredSmile.deviantart.com/journal/4122282/ http://ShatteredSmile.deviantart.com/journal/4122282/ Tue, 21 Dec 2004 19:20:08 PST (...where can I run to
where can I hide...)

Everything is so numbing and cold - makes you feel the blunt reality of existence
(...because everything is different now...)

Then again, we suppose it makes us appreciate the spring all the more
(...always seems impossible to know...)

Similar to having to experience oppression before you can truly understand /freedom/
(...all these things I hold so dear
I won't take for granted....)

And the earth continues its travel anyway.
Keep your promises and everything will be all right. ]]> ~ShatteredSmile http://ShatteredSmile.deviantart.com/journal/3706950/ http://ShatteredSmile.deviantart.com/journal/3706950/ Sat, 30 Oct 2004 07:50:44 PDT
Now I look at the world almost through a photography lens... instead of thinking "pretty tree," I think "AHHHH GOOD PICTURE." Anyone get that?

Anyways, just thought I'd share this new addiction. Everyone tell me how they're doing.

Oh, and my new fiddlation with photo manipulation is directed by a friend of mine, cited in my pieces... go check out her work! (IfrozenspiritI) ]]> ~ShatteredSmile http://ShatteredSmile.deviantart.com/journal/3088040/ http://ShatteredSmile.deviantart.com/journal/3088040/ Tue, 10 Aug 2004 03:11:10 PDT
I'm writing from a comupter in Legano, Swizerland, which is on the coast of Italy (you can see Italy from across a lake here). It's been VERY fun here in Europe with just me and my mother eating our way across the country. We started out in Paris, then hiked along a bunch of little alpen towns, and now am here! Tomorrow we're going back to the south of France (Provence), and then to Paris. Should be much fun, though unfortunately, my camera broke less than halfway through the trip. Ah well.

Hope everyone is well. ]]> ~ShatteredSmile http://ShatteredSmile.deviantart.com/journal/2706905/ http://ShatteredSmile.deviantart.com/journal/2706905/ Sun, 20 Jun 2004 20:06:59 PDT
I’d give anything to have my life returned to such a perspective. To look through the world tinted by innocence – a small child’s looking glass.

Now it’s so much more complicated. Besides having each one of my actions or lack of actions forming a consequence that may hinder my chances for the future, I have feelings I would much rather not deal with. Jealousy. Sadness. Intense anger.

Who wouldn’t dread those emotions for the simple joy in life that only a child has?

It’s not as if I dislike my life – indeed, quite the contrary. But sometimes I feel as if it is escalating beyond my control, and staying frightfully too far in control at the same time. I’m caught in the middle of the ride, and I have only too far to go. ]]> ~ShatteredSmile http://ShatteredSmile.deviantart.com/journal/2706903/ http://ShatteredSmile.deviantart.com/journal/2706903/ Sun, 20 Jun 2004 20:06:25 PDT
I’d give anything to have my life returned to such a perspective. To look through the world tinted by innocence – a small child’s looking glass.

Now it’s so much more complicated. Besides having each one of my actions or lack of actions forming a consequence that may hinder my chances for the future, I have feelings I would much rather not deal with. Jealousy. Sadness. Intense anger.

Who wouldn’t dread those emotions for the simple joy in life that only a child has?

It’s not as if I dislike my life – indeed, quite the contrary. But sometimes I feel as if it is escalating beyond my control, and staying frightfully too far in control at the same time. I’m caught in the middle of the ride, and I have only too far to go. ]]> ~ShatteredSmile http://ShatteredSmile.deviantart.com/journal/2623371/ http://ShatteredSmile.deviantart.com/journal/2623371/ Wed, 09 Jun 2004 18:33:18 PDT
It's thundering outside right now. And raining. I was going to go running with a friend, but I guess that didn't work. And it was like 187 degrees today! Ok, only 100, but yeah... way nice temperatures. Beep.

Ok, raise your hand if you're sick of school. Oh man, I wish I were out. Right now. The only thing that I now look forward to is art. Yummy art. I made a new friend in art! She's so cool... yep.

I hate it when you really want to spend time with friends, but then you want to completely isolate yourself at the same time... or maybe I'm just a dysfunctional human being. Yah, that must be it.

I don't mind if no one responds. I write these for my own twisted benefit, anyways. ]]> ~ShatteredSmile http://ShatteredSmile.deviantart.com/journal/2538677/ http://ShatteredSmile.deviantart.com/journal/2538677/ Sat, 29 May 2004 21:08:09 PDT
Why can't everyone just leave me alone? ]]> ~ShatteredSmile http://ShatteredSmile.deviantart.com/journal/2323477/ http://ShatteredSmile.deviantart.com/journal/2323477/ Thu, 29 Apr 2004 11:38:31 PDT ~ShatteredSmile http://ShatteredSmile.deviantart.com/journal/2280138/ http://ShatteredSmile.deviantart.com/journal/2280138/ Fri, 23 Apr 2004 06:24:28 PDT
There was actually one college that stood out however, so I am really starting to view that one with less tredipation than some. I even had a dream last night about going to it. xP I had a flukish lucky SAT score, so I probably have a chance of getting in too.

Anyways, enough about me, how has everyone else been doing this past week? ]]> ~ShatteredSmile http://ShatteredSmile.deviantart.com/journal/2095222/ http://ShatteredSmile.deviantart.com/journal/2095222/ Sat, 27 Mar 2004 12:20:55 PST
On on a very random side note, I recently realized that I very much like this world, even if I am sometimes not too fond of our species. xD There's just too many beautiful places to dislike it.

Love to everyone! ]]> ~ShatteredSmile http://ShatteredSmile.deviantart.com/journal/2047616/ http://ShatteredSmile.deviantart.com/journal/2047616/ Sat, 20 Mar 2004 07:03:43 PST -snuggles everyone, but is careful not to breath on them- ]]> ~ShatteredSmile http://ShatteredSmile.deviantart.com/journal/2003426/ http://ShatteredSmile.deviantart.com/journal/2003426/ Sat, 13 Mar 2004 08:15:15 PST
Hello and goodbye to everyone whom I don't know! (And some people whom I do) ]]> ~ShatteredSmile http://ShatteredSmile.deviantart.com/journal/1878299/ http://ShatteredSmile.deviantart.com/journal/1878299/ Fri, 20 Feb 2004 14:24:31 PST ~ShatteredSmile http://ShatteredSmile.deviantart.com/journal/1845562/ http://ShatteredSmile.deviantart.com/journal/1845562/ Sat, 14 Feb 2004 16:58:56 PST ~ShatteredSmile