http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:ShhSecret&section=today deviantART RSS for by:ShhSecret en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Mon, 07 Dec 2009 00:07:45 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://ShhSecret.deviantart.com/journal/1972812/ http://ShhSecret.deviantart.com/journal/1972812/ Mon, 08 Mar 2004 07:30:19 PST Love Soph x ]]> ~ShhSecret http://ShhSecret.deviantart.com/journal/1969420/ http://ShhSecret.deviantart.com/journal/1969420/ Sun, 07 Mar 2004 16:40:56 PST Bulletproof Cupid

( Before Bulletproof Cupid became an instrumental,
Brian spent quite a while trying to conjure some lyrics to complement the song.
The idea was finally abandoned, but the attempt remains )

Everything's forgotten
Everything's so rotten
Why don't you release me?
Why don't you just tease me?

I don't think I need you anymore
I don't think I need another whore
I just feel like you should wait
Time will tell before it's too late
When all is said and done you
Just ain't no fun to be with

You're my bulletproof cupid
You're my little stupid
You're my fluctuated
You're my inspector gadget
You're my new toy to play with
You're my toy boy to be with
You're my bulletproof cupid
Just a little too stupid

Everything is taken
Everything's awakened
Why don't you reject me?
Why don't you just infect me?

I don't think I want this anymore
I don't think I want another whore
I just feel like we should wait
Time unfolds then it's too late
When all is said and done you
Can't be the one to run with

You're my bulletproof cupid
You're my little stupid
You're my incarcerated
You're my fortune faded
You're my new tool to play with
You're my new fool to be with
You're my bulletproof cupid
Still that little bit stupid ]]> ~ShhSecret http://ShhSecret.deviantart.com/journal/1969080/ http://ShhSecret.deviantart.com/journal/1969080/ Sun, 07 Mar 2004 15:37:59 PST Bulletproof Cupid

( Before Bulletproof Cupid became an instrumental,
Brian spent quite a while trying to conjure some lyrics to complement the song.
The idea was finally abandoned, but the attempt remains )

Everything's forgotten
Everything's so rotten
Why don't you release me?
Why don't you just tease me?

I don't think I need you anymore
I don't think I need another whore
I just feel like you should wait
Time will tell before it's too late
When all is said and done you
Just ain't no fun to be with

You're my bulletproof cupid
You're my little stupid
You're my fluctuated
You're my inspector gadget
You're my new toy to play with
You're my toy boy to be with
You're my bulletproof cupid
Just a little too stupid

Everything is taken
Everything's awakened
Why don't you reject me?
Why don't you just infect me?

I don't think I want this anymore
I don't think I want another whore
I just feel like we should wait
Time unfolds then it's too late
When all is said and done you
Can't be the one to run with

You're my bulletproof cupid
You're my little stupid
You're my incarcerated
You're my fortune faded
You're my new tool to play with
You're my new fool to be with
You're my bulletproof cupid
Still that little bit stupid ]]> ~ShhSecret http://ShhSecret.deviantart.com/journal/1966280/ http://ShhSecret.deviantart.com/journal/1966280/ Sun, 07 Mar 2004 05:56:35 PST Mood: Positive.... +!
Listening to: More Foo Fighters with a little Blink 182...
Thinking about: New things!!
I want: Everything I've thought about to be happening now!!
I need: Patience.
Last text received: "Yeah I'll be able to sort it, Love you."
Last text sent: "I'm ok, long time no see, what you been up to?"
Last spoke to: Mommy!! xx
Last touched: Mommy - I needed a hug!
Interesting fact of Today: I have two for you! - Right handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people do! And, polar bears are left handed! x ]]> ~ShhSecret http://ShhSecret.deviantart.com/journal/1961108/ http://ShhSecret.deviantart.com/journal/1961108/ Sat, 06 Mar 2004 07:56:41 PST Mood: Flirty Shirty...
Listening to: Foo Fighters - All My Life
Thinking about: Too much!
I want: The Foo Fighter album so I can dance to it tonight
I need: Money!! As always...
Last text received: "How are you today.X"
Last text sent: "Okay if you dont make it...xxxx"
Last spoke to: Rhiannon - Baggy Butt Fuck (i her)
Last touched: God, um, last night, Stella...
Quote of Today:"Computers are useless. They can only give you answers."
Pablo Picasso. ]]> ~ShhSecret http://ShhSecret.deviantart.com/journal/1945832/ http://ShhSecret.deviantart.com/journal/1945832/ Wed, 03 Mar 2004 14:42:25 PST Don't you need somebody to love?
Won't you love somebody to love?
You better find somebody to love..."

I hate the song, but the words made me think... if so many of us are looking and needing then why is it so hard to find?.....

Everything is ok, except having to start taking my pills again after not doing for so long... I hate having to take them everyday, dont know why... The pains in my chest are back, I hope they aren't lupus..... maybe instead they're just growing pains...

Do you have to settle for less? Everyone keeps telling me that I won't 'just fall in love' when I think when I meet the right guy, I'll know... But then maybe I'm just fooling myself... But then what happens if I settle for less and then meet someone and fall head over heels immediately? Then I'm hurting people... Hmm... I want to be in love. I should stop looking. Then it might come looking for me.... blah blah.... I believe he must be out there somewhere, someone who is everything I want... I just have to find him... and I will.


Oh yeah, and I have that copy of the magazine with me in now... I'll scan in the pictures... but they're a bit rude, so I'll paint clothes on me first! Try to get that done tomorrow...

]]> ~ShhSecret http://ShhSecret.deviantart.com/journal/1945771/ http://ShhSecret.deviantart.com/journal/1945771/ Wed, 03 Mar 2004 14:33:31 PST "Don't you want somebody to love?
Don't you need somebody to love?
Won't you love somebody to love?
You better find somebody to love..."

I hate the song, but the words made me think... if so many of us are looking and needing then why is it so hard to find?.....

Everything is ok, except having to start taking my pills again after not doing for so long... I hate having to take them everyday, dont know why... The pains in my chest are back, I hope they aren't lupus..... maybe instead they're just growing pains...

Do you have to settle for less? Everyone keeps telling me that I won't 'just fall in love' when I think when I meet the right guy, I'll know... But then maybe I'm just fooling myself... But then what happens if I settle for less and then meet someone and fall head over heels immediately? Then I'm hurting people... Hmm... I want to be in love. I should stop looking. Then it might come looking for me.... blah blah.... I believe he must be out there somewhere, someone who is everything I want... I just have to find him... and I will.
]]> ~ShhSecret http://ShhSecret.deviantart.com/journal/1925996/ http://ShhSecret.deviantart.com/journal/1925996/ Sun, 29 Feb 2004 09:16:26 PST

"This vacations useless
These white pills arent kind
I've given a lot of thought on this 13 hour drive
I miss the grinded concrete where we sat past gator 9
And slowly finished laughing in the glow of our headlights
I've given a lot of thought to the nights we used to have
The days have come and gone, our lives went by so fast
I faintly remember breathing, on your bedroom floor
Where I laid and told you, but you swear you love me more.

Do you care if i dont know what to say?
Will you sleep tonight or will you think of me?
Will I shake this off? Pretend its all ok?
Thats there's someone out there who feels just like me. There is.

Those notes you wrote me, I've kept them all
Ive given a lot of thought how to write you back this far
With every single letter, in every single word
There will be a hidden message about a boy who loves a girl."

]]> ~ShhSecret http://ShhSecret.deviantart.com/journal/1925257/ http://ShhSecret.deviantart.com/journal/1925257/ Sun, 29 Feb 2004 05:55:02 PST In six pages of a magazine at the moment that I cant find anywhere cause its mainly american - bleugh.
Its not my birthday anymore - bleugh.
People never think i know what im doing - bleugh.
Air guitar to busted even isnt making me smile - bleugh.
Want to eat but cant decide what - bleugh.
The only person to make me smile today is absolute miles away - bleugh.
I cant write - bleugh.
I'm jealous that people who can write dont think they can - bleugh.
I need a hug, but dont want one - bleugh.

Bleugh day.

]]> ~ShhSecret http://ShhSecret.deviantart.com/journal/1914249/ http://ShhSecret.deviantart.com/journal/1914249/ Fri, 27 Feb 2004 06:51:51 PST I've got 32 more messages to look through, and i will do it I promise!!
I hope you're all well, feels like I havent spoke to any of you for ages! Ohh and my msn isnt working again - damn thing never does ... So if u wanna chat, come on [link]... my user name is sah666 and ask to private chat! until my msn is back in order!
Put up a picture from that night out before my birthday, I look a 'bit' wasted and a lot sweaty (its a hot club!!! honest!!!) ... but anyhooooo....

Love
Soph xxxxx
]]> ~ShhSecret http://ShhSecret.deviantart.com/journal/1894054/ http://ShhSecret.deviantart.com/journal/1894054/ Mon, 23 Feb 2004 14:13:43 PST only, um, about, an hour and a half... not too excited now... but think i'll be getting a digital camera tomorrow, so i can start posting loads of crap that no-one wants to look at, but i'll feel important for a day or so!! LOL... there are too many hot girls on DA... I'm gonna complain cause I cant concentrate on the, um, art!...
Soph xxxxxxx
]]> ~ShhSecret http://ShhSecret.deviantart.com/journal/1892694/ http://ShhSecret.deviantart.com/journal/1892694/ Mon, 23 Feb 2004 03:17:25 PST those places!!! Some websites took our photos and we took some of our own, so when they get put up/developed then i'll post them here!! I've been listening to No Doubt 'Its My Life' all day cause it reminds me of there, they turned off the music mid mix and just started blasting this out instead, and everyone joined in!!! it was sooooo good!!!!
I was sooo in awe of the drag queens too, being blatantly obvious too because I was so wasted! They had amazing legs though!!!!!!
My 21st tomorrow... not doing anything as did enough on Saturday!! lol...
Anyways, I hope you're all good...
love Soph xxxxx ]]> ~ShhSecret http://ShhSecret.deviantart.com/journal/1876275/ http://ShhSecret.deviantart.com/journal/1876275/ Fri, 20 Feb 2004 06:00:03 PST I really cant be bothered with work tonight, hope its busy so the time passes quicker... Its my birthday night out tomorrow!!!! Yey!!! but not my actual birthday til tuesday ageeeeees away!!
Soph ]]> ~ShhSecret http://ShhSecret.deviantart.com/journal/1867733/ http://ShhSecret.deviantart.com/journal/1867733/ Wed, 18 Feb 2004 16:40:25 PST
B - Best Quality: Stupidly fun when encouraged.
C - Choice Of Meat: Any, im not fussed!
D - Dream Date: Mattie Jay from Busted
E - Ex (most recent): Mark '&%$£!!' Freejack.
F - Favorite Food: Candyfloss
G - Greatest Accomplishment: Surviving life this long.
H - Happiest Day of Your Life: I dont think theres been one yet...
I - Internal conflicts: spend or save?
K - Kool-Aid: who?
L - Love: I want it! Now!
M - Most Valued Thing I Own: Minnie my Chihuahua.
N - Name: Sophie
O - Outfit You Love: My upand coming birthday outfit! Tutu, ruby slippers, stripey socks, and slutty underwear!
P - Pizza Toppings: Everything! except tomato!
Q - Question you want to ask: You know the little moving faces on DA? well do they keep moving when you've scrolled past them?
S - Sport To Watch: Rugby.
T - Television Show: Jack and Karen.... ahem, i mean, Will & Grace.
U - Unique habit: more party trick - can hold a bottle between my boobs.
W - Winter: bleugh no.
Y - Year Born: 1983
Z - Zodiac Sign: pisces...be gentle!

?? HAVE YOU EVER

1. Kissed your cousin: once when very young and experimental!
2. Ran away: tried, but instead sat on the garden wall with a vanity bag full of barbies for half an hour before getting cold and coming back.
3. Pictured your crush naked: Most definately!
4. Actually seen your crush naked: Not yet....
5. Broken someone's heart: Maybe
6. Been in love: Nope
7. Cried when someone died: Erm, not with any emotion...
8. Wanted someone you knew you couldn't have: All the damn time!
9. Broken a bone: Nope, touch wood.
10. Drank alcohol: All the damn time!
11. Lied: Yeppers
12. Cried in school: All the time, i'm a leaker.

?? WHICH IS BETTER
13. COKE OR PEPSI: Pepsi with lemon.
14. SPRITE OR 7UP: Sprite
15. GIRLS OR GUYS: um, on the whole? Girls? but then Guys are so hot? I dunno....
16. FLOWERS OR CANDY: Diamonds.
17. SCRUFF OR CLEAN SHAVEN: Scruff definately...
18. QUIET OR LOUD: I like quiet guys, loud girls!
19. BLONDES OR BRUNETTES: Brunette every time.
21. TALL OR SHORT: Tall, i love stretching to kiss...
22. PANTS OR SHORTS: Pants as in underwear or trousers?!!

?? WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX

23. WHAT DO YOU NOTICE FIRST: Cute? Dress sense? Ego problem?
24. LAST PERSON YOU SLOW DANCED WITH: Cant remember, was in school!!
25. WORST QUESTION TO ASK: Why my brother?

?? THE LAST TIME

26. SHOWERED: Last friday! but I bathe every day!
27. HAD SEX: um, couple of days ago?
28. HAD A GREAT TIME WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX: Secret.

?? WHAT IS

29. YOUR GOOD LUCK CHARM: Dont have one, maybe a lucky pair of knickers...
30. PERSON YOU HATE MOST: Too many people...
31. THE BEST THING THAT HAS HAPPENED TO YOU TODAY: Nothing.

?? FAVORITES

32. COLOR: Dont have one.
33. MOVIE: Drop Dead Fred/Dirty Dancing/Goonies/Grease!
34. BOOK: Sophie Kinsella's Shopaholic range!
35. SUBJECT IN SCHOOL: English Language.
36. JUICE: Ribena
37. CARS: that little cute BMW...
38. ICE CREAM: Not too fond of ice cream...
39. HOLIDAY: In Ayia Napa for three months...
40. SEASON: Summer, isnt everyones?!
41. BREAKFAST FOOD: Ready Brek!
42. PLACE TO GO WITH YOUR HONEY: i dont have one...

?? WHO

43. MAKES YOU LAUGH THE MOST: Kim
44. MAKES YOU SMILE: Kim
45. GIVES YOU A FUNNY FEELING WHEN YOU SEE THEM: Cute Guys.
46. HAS A CRUSH ON YOU: who knows.
47. DO YOU HAVE A CRUSH ON: Mattie Jay
48. CAN MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER NO MATTER WHAT: Kim
49. HAS IT EASIER GUYS OR GIRLS: Neither.

?? DO YOU EVER

50. SIT BY THE PHONE WAITING FOR A PHONE CALL ALL NIGHT: Not recently, I have done in the past...
51. SAVE AOL CONVERSATIONS: Didnt know u could...
52. SAVE E-MAILS: Some...
53. WISH YOU WERE SOMEONE ELSE: Yeah...
54. WISH YOU WERE A MEMBER OF THE OPPOSITE SEX: Nope...
55. CRIED BECAUSE OF SOMEONE'S MEAN WORDS: Yeah.

?? BEST

56. COLOGNE: Emporiom Armarni... Black or white...
57. PERFUME: Chanel Allure or L'aeu De Par Kenzo
58. KISS: Secret.
59. ROMANTIC MEMORY: Secret.
60. MOST RECENT ADVICE GIVEN TO YOU: Just see how things go and stop making rash decisions.

?? HAVE YOU:

61. Fallen for your best friend?: no... ]]> ~ShhSecret http://ShhSecret.deviantart.com/journal/1866766/ http://ShhSecret.deviantart.com/journal/1866766/ Wed, 18 Feb 2004 13:30:39 PST Current Clothes: Jeans, 'play with my heart' cards tee...
Current Mood: Idealistic/Romantic/a little disappointed.
Current Music: Muse 'Showbiz' album...
Current Taste: Refreshers
Current Hair: Dark brown with highlights
Current Annoyance: Letdowns.
Current Smell: Chanel Allure
Current thing I ought to be doing: Dying a bra or exerting my aggression.
Current Book you're reading: Martina Cole, 'The Know'
Current CD in CD Player: Placebo 'Sleeping with Ghosts'


FAVORITE:
Food: Candy-floss
Drink: Beena
Colour: Blue? Dont really have one I guess...
Animal: Chihuahua (my Minnie)
TV Show: Will & Grace - just for Karen and Jack though!
Movie: Dirty Dancing/Drop Dead Fred/Grease/Alice in Wonderland/Goonies!
Song: It changes too often!!

ARE YOU:
Understanding: To a certain point...
Open-minded: Yeah
Insecure: About my personality? yes. Looks? not really.
Interesting: Probably not, fun sometimes, but interesting? no.
Hungry: All the god damn time.
Friendly: Usually, and if not, I'm good at pretending unless you're someone I dont like, then I wont bother pretending.
Smart: In some respects.
Moody: In every sense of the word.
Independent: Yes but I hate it.
Hard working: For things I want then yes.
Organized: Nope, I'm pretty useless at sorting things.
Healthy: Have SLE, but its pretty dormant lately...
Emotionally Stable: I swing from completely in control to a quivering wreck every week.
Shy: If I fancy someone really badly, if not, then no, I'm the loudest!
Difficult: If I'm trying to be!
Attractive: On looks alone, I would say I could be worse, I've done some modelling which made me confident but also gave me some hangups.
Bored Easily: YES!
Thirsty: Now you mention it....
Responsible: No.
Obsessed: With what? with love? yes.
Angry: A little pissed off.
Sad: A little.
Happy: In the grand scheme of things, yeah.
Hyper: Not at the moment, but I do have mad half hours ever so often.
Trusting:Nope.

WHO DO YOU WANT TO:
Kill: Bullies/townies at the moment after reading about a 7yr old getting his skateboard snapped and thrown back at him at our local skatepark by some fucking wankers.
Slap: My housemate for being such a letdown and so apathetic.
Get Really Wasted With: Hoopee aka Kim, my best friend.
Get High With: Nearly choked to death when I tried it so havent done it since!
Look like: Um, someone that absolutely everyone in the whole world finds irrestibly attractive.


HAVE YOU EVER:
Fallen for your best friend? Nope...
Made out with JUST a friend? Yeah, I dont understand how u both know where u stand? usually I think just friends and a quick snog and they think more. I get in trouble.
Been rejected? Hasn't everyone in one way or another?
Been in love? No.
Been in lust? Yes!
Used someone? um, yeah, probably.
Been used? Of course.
Cheated on someone? No, and never will.
Been cheated on? Not that I know of, but wouldnt put it past him.
Been kissed? Mmmm, yeah.
Done something you regret? Yeah, but I'm still learning. ]]> ~ShhSecret http://ShhSecret.deviantart.com/journal/1861886/ http://ShhSecret.deviantart.com/journal/1861886/ Tue, 17 Feb 2004 15:22:29 PST

Got into a course I kinda wanted to... so thats ok

Took a sex test on thespark.com and heres my slutty results!
In my life I will have sex with 31 people (including the 9 already) (does that sound like a hell of a lot to anyone else?!?!)
Information on my future 22 sex partners
21 of the 22 will be female ()
1 will be male (d'oh)
You will actually love 2 of them (doubtful)
Because of your idealist attitude, you have to be careful not to get hurt (so true)

Bitch test:

67% Bitch - 97% of the test takers were LESS bitch than me (hmm, is it strange that I like that?)

src="[link]
border="0">

Slut Test:

64% Slut - Sluttier than 85% of the test takers (starting to believe I could be the nastiest girl on the planet!)

src="[link]
border="0">

listening to: Red Hot Chilli Peppers - Fortune Faded...

Enough of the tests for me, go and see for urselves what u r and post the results for me to laugh at!!!

Soph xxxxxxxxxxx ]]> ~ShhSecret http://ShhSecret.deviantart.com/journal/1854592/ http://ShhSecret.deviantart.com/journal/1854592/ Mon, 16 Feb 2004 09:32:09 PST
Think the side is too far down for a ring, so will have to stay a stud and the middle a ring??! and then maybe another ring the other side?!!
a BIG thanks to for making me my icon u should all visit her page...
Go join too
and todays song is Franz Ferdinand - Take Me Out.... Amazing!!!!! Lemme Dance!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sophie xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx ]]> ~ShhSecret http://ShhSecret.deviantart.com/journal/1848246/ http://ShhSecret.deviantart.com/journal/1848246/ Sun, 15 Feb 2004 06:25:08 PST I had it done, at the side to start with, my lip is a little swollen, but someone is making it feel better today!! Looks pooh with the big fat bar they have to put in, but they're gonna change it before i go out on my birthday to a ring!!! hehehehehehe.... thanks everyone for suggesting the side, i'm a happy chappy...



Sophie xxxxxxxx ]]> ~ShhSecret http://ShhSecret.deviantart.com/journal/1837114/ http://ShhSecret.deviantart.com/journal/1837114/ Fri, 13 Feb 2004 07:01:25 PST Mood: Trying to fend off the down mood! Bad news this morning I wish I could just start afresh.
Listening to: Queens of The Stone Age - No One Knows... Reminds me of something good...
Plan: Get my lip pierced. Just not sure whether to have the side, which is slightly less regular, or the centre, which would make me feel a little more even - which do u think??

Go visit one of the people I DAStalk!:
:iconbreifresprite:

If I've wrote all those without misspelling one I will eat my own left sock. And I adore my left sock. More than life itself.

Ohhh, and also its my birthday soon and I'm going out and I want to dress like a nutcase. I've already decided on a short tutu, either thigh high boots or try to make my own ruby slippers, with black and white ankle socks!! any ideas for a funky top?

Much love
Sophie xxxxxxx ]]> ~ShhSecret http://ShhSecret.deviantart.com/journal/1826709/ http://ShhSecret.deviantart.com/journal/1826709/ Wed, 11 Feb 2004 05:48:27 PST
Check out his gallery is amazing... i love the poems and the art...

Oh and I became a member of a club!! Didnt know they existed on DA! So I joined ... if you are into Placebo too, go join!

:Heart: Soph xx ]]> ~ShhSecret http://ShhSecret.deviantart.com/journal/1826696/ http://ShhSecret.deviantart.com/journal/1826696/ Wed, 11 Feb 2004 05:43:43 PST ~ShhSecret http://ShhSecret.deviantart.com/journal/1822221/ http://ShhSecret.deviantart.com/journal/1822221/ Tue, 10 Feb 2004 08:02:17 PST

These people you should all check out, I either love them or their work, or both!



special thanks to for being so patient and showing me how to do all this!! xxxx
]]> ~ShhSecret http://ShhSecret.deviantart.com/journal/1821722/ http://ShhSecret.deviantart.com/journal/1821722/ Tue, 10 Feb 2004 04:36:28 PST Feeling a lot better today too
Things seem to be getting sorted I hope...
]]> ~ShhSecret http://ShhSecret.deviantart.com/journal/1817399/ http://ShhSecret.deviantart.com/journal/1817399/ Mon, 09 Feb 2004 10:13:12 PST ~ShhSecret http://ShhSecret.deviantart.com/journal/1797486/ http://ShhSecret.deviantart.com/journal/1797486/ Thu, 05 Feb 2004 09:17:17 PST Sophie. ]]> ~ShhSecret http://ShhSecret.deviantart.com/journal/1743191/ http://ShhSecret.deviantart.com/journal/1743191/ Mon, 26 Jan 2004 06:18:48 PST Theres something else that would make me more happy, and thats to have someone to enjoy EVERYTHING with, every aspect of my fun, and someone who would have just as much fun with me and their own exploits, someone who i can go out with, stay over at someone elses without them and then go back and laugh and giggle about it with them... a best friend and a lover all in one without the seriousness of life. everything in my life is serious except for what i can control, my lovelife and my social life.... and i intend to make some lasting memories over the next couple of years
I hope ur all happy, and if not, get in touch and come out with me and my friends! you're allllll more than welcome to come out and stay at ours!!!
MUCHOS LOVEOS
Soph xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxx ]]> ~ShhSecret http://ShhSecret.deviantart.com/journal/1694158/ http://ShhSecret.deviantart.com/journal/1694158/ Sat, 17 Jan 2004 07:54:47 PST really antisocial today. Cant face going out and having to put up with people talking to me. I dont know why, but when I'm in this type of mood, everything that people say to me really grates on my nerves and i feel like screaming, and i hate having to smile like i care.
I'm at this bit of my life where nothing seems to be happening, i feel like i'm set on pause, or repeat, everything bad that has happened to me or the things that annoy me keep happening. And however much i try to solve the problems they just wont leave me alone. I can see things happening in the future that i've organised, but they seem to be ages away and I feel like they'll never come round.
Feel like everyone wants me for reasons beneficial to themselves. No-one seems to want me for me, but thats mainly cause no-one except my family know me.
I'm too scared to show people me, because i've lost so many people while I was being me. I have to put on an act for most of my life, to get anywhere you have to be nice to people you dont know or dont like.
I cant seem to find anyone who thinks the same way as me, all my friends' life ambition is to find a man. And they settle for things that aren't exactly how they want. Instead of growing up and growing apart and finding new friends, i've outgrown my friends and grown into only me.
I hope I feel better tomorrow...
Sx
ps, dont need any comments on this, its only me spouting off... bad day... thanks anyhoo.... xxxxx ]]> ~ShhSecret http://ShhSecret.deviantart.com/journal/1683139/ http://ShhSecret.deviantart.com/journal/1683139/ Thu, 15 Jan 2004 05:00:19 PST I really get upset when people dont like me, even if its for a good reason. Now surely this is part of life and I should be able to ignore it? So if anyone has any handy hints? because it really plays on my mind constantly when i know someone dislikes me... starting to bug me...Is this even normal??
If you can help that'd be great!
Soph xx ]]> ~ShhSecret http://ShhSecret.deviantart.com/journal/1683099/ http://ShhSecret.deviantart.com/journal/1683099/ Thu, 15 Jan 2004 04:42:17 PST Why are they limited winter edition????? They're the most gorgeous things I've ever tasted and you should all become fellow addicts also.
Sit, eat white maltesers and listen to country... maybe cry when you finish the last packet, but be safe in the knowledge that winter will be back soon!!
Now, do maltesers have a website??...
Mood:a little strange....:s
All my , 's and garden 's...
Soph xxxxxx ]]> ~ShhSecret http://ShhSecret.deviantart.com/journal/1673567/ http://ShhSecret.deviantart.com/journal/1673567/ Tue, 13 Jan 2004 11:42:24 PST Have become a Patsy Cline addict today, especially walkin after midnight, its gorgeous!!!
I'm still soooper confused with my lovelife, it seems i'll never know what I want. Maybe I've not met my one yet and thats why I dont know. Maybe. My life is full of flippin maybes!
I hope one day someone comes along with all the answers, and they make me feel like all these questions were worth it.
Anyhew, I guess theres always tomorrow!
Love Soph xxxx ]]> ~ShhSecret http://ShhSecret.deviantart.com/journal/1672435/ http://ShhSecret.deviantart.com/journal/1672435/ Tue, 13 Jan 2004 06:19:02 PST INSTRUCTIONS:
1. Copy this whole list into your journal.
2. Bold the things that are true about you.
3. Whatever you don't bold are false


01. When I was younger I made some bad decisions
02. I don't watch much TV these days
03. I love psychadelic mushrooms
04. I love sleeping
05. I have loads of books
06. I once slept in a toilet
07. I love playing video games
08. I like marijuana
09. I watch porn movies
10. I watch them with my father
11. I like sharks
12. I love spiders, I think they're adorable, especially the ones with bright colours on their backs
13. I was born without hair and I still have no hair
14. I like G. Bush
15. People are cool.
16. I have changed a lot mentally over the last year
17. I have a lot to learn
19. I carry my knife everywhere with myself
20. I'm really really smart
21. I've never broken someone's bones
22. I have a secret
23. I hate snow
24. I drink only milk
25. I drink too much water
26. I hate microsoft
27. I love Chinese food
28. I would hate to be famous
29. I am not a morning person
30. I wear glasses
31. I don't need glasses, except sunglasses
32. I have potential
33. I'm pure Japanese
34. My legs are two different sizes
35. I have a twin
36. I'm wearing a padded bra
37. I can ramble on about absolutely nothing
38. I'm left-handed
39. I hate llamas, but I'm one of them
40. I don't like horror movies
41. I suck at climbing, but I love it anyway
42. People hate me usually.
43. I love pop music
44. I hardly ever go to bed before midnight
45. I hate parking fines
46. I know national anthem of my country by heart
47. I know more than two languages
48. I spend too much time on the computer
49. I often want to throw out the computer in a window
50. I live on a ground floor
51. I don't like chocolate
52. I'd like to be more original
53. I've lied
54. Cocks are my favorite birds
55. I want to conquer the world
56. I wonder what happens when you die
57. I've read all books about Harry Potter
58. Eat your dog!
59. I love to exercise. only if I get time
60. I hate chemistry with a passion
61. I love to write
62. I like changes
63. I hate going to class
64. I am afraid to die
65. I hate dish washing
66. My hair is long, brown, and incredibly curly
67. My nails are nine inch long
68. My favorite color is black
69. I like to sleep on the floor
70. I am hopeless at cooking
71. I sucked my thumb when I was little.
72. I should be doing somehting else rather than writing this
73. I am online a lot, but not in MSN
74. I hate government
75. I don't have a girlfriend/boyfriend
76. I'm too nice for my own good.
77. I love to read, I read as much as I can.
78. I don't trust newspapers
79. I like debating
80. I live in a vagon
81. I clean my room once a month
82. I'm scared of american fast food
83. I have a third eye
84. I love Mozambique
85. I don't trust any religion
86. I used to play with barbies because all the other girls were doing it
87. I wanted to be a super hero when I was little
88. I like listening to wind chimes sometimes... others I want to kill them
89. I'm very disorganized
90. My hair is long and straight
91. I earn a lot
92. I don't like spicy food
93. I keep a diary
94. I can't do cartwheels
95. I am very lazy sometimes.....
96. I'm sarcastic
97. I think my hair is annoying
98. I'm very sensitive
99. I love being "ab-normal"
100. My left eye is violet and my right eye is a light blue. ]]> ~ShhSecret