deviantART: by:Silenced-beauty

Life update

~Silenced-beauty — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 07:40:33 PST

Christmas is approaching rapidly and I need to find money for gifts somewhere, but more importantly: I need to figure out how to get there through all the school work waiting for me when I get back to school next week. I'm trying to play catch-up now, but I'm having trouble finding the motivation needed to sit down and actually get some work done. Sure, I've been working on stuff for my computer class, but that's just because I think it's fun to do, I've been working ever so slightly with my history too because I have to get a presentation up and running by Monday, but it's not going too well.

The reason I'm so far behind? Swine flu has kept me home from school for a week and a half (by the time I'm allowed by the doctor to return anyway) and I haven't been able to get anything done before now. So I've started trying to make a plan for day and what I need to do. It's not like the workload will get lighter all by itself, and while I'm bored I might as well do something useful. Thanks, darling, for reminding me

When school's not pressing it's heel down on my neck, I'm spending my time watching Heroes with the most wonderful boy there is. Of course we don't always watch Heroes, but right now we do that a lot to get caught up with where the series is on TV in the US

A side note on the Christmas thing: I'm excited because my "sister" is coming over from Indiana for Christmas xD

<3

~Silenced-beauty — Wed, 30 Sep 2009 16:35:15 PDT

So yeah, life's been nice with me for a change and landed me a really awesome boyfriend Here's a little something I've been working on lately:

You take me places I've never been,
where nothing makes sense.
In a nonsense land, is there a nonsense plan?
If you take me higher, I'll see beyond the clouds,
because nothing makes sense but reaching out to touch the sky.

Bring me home a rainy cloud, for the days I'm down,
A grey for the days I frown,
and a white, misty one for days with uncertanity.
Instead you bring me blue skies and a happy smile.

You Can Type Command

~Silenced-beauty — Sat, 29 Aug 2009 02:28:56 PDT

Ok, so what the heck? A friend of mine (*Judin) told me I had to watch this clip on youtube...

[link]

I finally did, obviously. And my reaction to it all? I thought it was just weird, like seriously, who thought of that? Ok, so the song at the end was slightly amusing, but that's it.

In the spirit of sharing, this song has been on my mind the past week, I just love it.
I also watched the epsiodes of the Guild posted on their channel

[link]

Oh. Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along. That was amusing. Google/youtube it ^-^

London

~Silenced-beauty — Wed, 15 Jul 2009 12:22:10 PDT

Finally preps for London trip made. Leaving tonight. Be back the 21st.

Wanted to give one last update before my sub runs out.

I'll try to take pictures, just hope I don't leave anything important behind when I leave. can't promise anything about the pictures though.

Busy days

~Silenced-beauty — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 08:29:58 PDT

Back to enjoying the summer now. Except it would've been nice with some rain, just a little bit of it.

So, this week I'm going to a festival to work for a night. Next week I have two doctor's appointments. Different doctors, different reasons.

And then finally, it's time for London

Whatever you put in my hands is my life savings, my main man
I got a box fit for a king on Queens Street
(Tell me that's not irony)

Money can't buy happiness
Man, I think the opposite
If I had just one chance
I'd buy romance

I want to know the things you're thinking
I want to be the place you are
Under the city lights, I'm sinking
Is anybody out there, anybody out there?

-Marriage to Millions, Cute is What We Aim For.

Update

~Silenced-beauty — Wed, 24 Jun 2009 13:23:33 PDT

Way to spoil the summer vacations. Funerals. Hate them. Can't not go. Great-grandma of 99 years passed away yesterday. Fell asleep. Good for her, she was so tired. Finally peace for her poor old soul.

Been playing Kingdom Hearts 2. Realized that for someone who doesn't draw I have too much artsy stuff. So I attempted a few drawings, might put them in my scraps later.

Went swimming earlier. Was nice.

Back to enjoying the summer holidays.

Summer

~Silenced-beauty — Sun, 14 Jun 2009 05:42:32 PDT

School's finally out for this time No more projects or papers to write or exams to worry about for a long time. Thankfully.

So, I'm going to London in a month, never been there so it'll be interesting. By then I'll hopefully have caught up on the pictures I have lying around

Exams

~Silenced-beauty — Thu, 14 May 2009 02:59:27 PDT

Two projects put on hold, another one started. The 22nd is an interesting day. It's exams, and English. Whole day spent sitting in a classroom, staring at the computer screen, trying to answer the task given. Surely it'll be alright.

Anyway, I have pictures to upload, but not sure if I'll be able to upload any of them until my exam is done. Oh well. It'll be wonderful once my exams are over, because then school is almost out for the summer

Photohunt Feature

~Silenced-beauty — Mon, 04 May 2009 12:22:18 PDT

*photohunt had a big event a while back and I promised to feature the winners.
The people below won two rounds of the game and have their winning pieces followed by two personal favorites.

<...

Easter

~Silenced-beauty — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 00:43:01 PDT

Finally easter break^-^ A week of nothing important to do at all, just relax prepare mentally for exams that come in May.

Have a nice day, week, however long it will be until I find something witty to update my journal about

Birthday Update

~Silenced-beauty — Thu, 26 Mar 2009 05:32:03 PDT

Today I turn 20 I've finally joined the league two of my best friends here on dA joined a while back *Judin and *frozen-bubbles

Another year has passed now since I was born, and it seems time is only moving faster. I know I say that now, and I know the feeling's only gonna get worse as time passes. But oh well, at least I get to see time pass

So far today:
I've been home all day, doing nothing but what I want to, mom bought me a new phone, and I'm going out for dinner with my closest family today and everything is swell

If you love movies, and know your quotes, this is a place for you Take a look at ~QuoteThat and see for yourself, but keep in mind that it is still under construction

Six Honest Men + Update

~Silenced-beauty — Mon, 23 Mar 2009 02:10:22 PDT

I found back to an old and useful friend the other day while looking through old textbooks:

I keep six honest serving-men
They taught me all I knew);
Their names are What and Why and When
And How and Where and Who.
-Rudyard Kipling

I figured it I put it up here, I won't lost it again and it can be useful to remember in the future

A few days ago I decided to get an old idea of *frozen-bubbles and myself up and running. Or at least attempt to. If you love movies, and know your quotes, it's a place for you Take a look at ~QuoteThat and see for yourself, but keep in mind that it is still under construction

Other than that, life's still good, spring is here for real and it's time to catch up on lost things.

Sunshine

~Silenced-beauty — Tue, 10 Mar 2009 13:15:57 PDT

Seasons change, as do people. With summer approaching, I watch myself remember things I thought I'd lost long ago and become more free to talk about the past again. It's a wonderful feeling finding back to small good memories that were once burried rather deep down. I can think more thoroughly about a lot of things that made me cry just a few months ago, though I'm as sensitive to books, tv-shows and movies as before when it comes to the crying part

I also feel better about myself with every passing week, I feel almost better than I did before I got sick in many ways. I still get tired a lot easier than before, but other than that, I'm overall better than ever.

I saw my grandfather today, and he looked very well considering he removed one of his kidneys only yesterday. It was good to see him look more or less like normal, though he said he had some pain if he stretched and minor other things bothering him. If everything goes well now, he'll be home by the end of the week and hopefully we'll soon learn if the tumour on the kidney was benevolent or not. Hopefully by removing the kidney, they removed the problem

And the snow is melting Some of it anyhow.

Winter Break + feature

~Silenced-beauty — Sat, 21 Feb 2009 05:09:03 PST

IÂve wallowed in self-pity long enough, and IÂm not going to complain about things (at least try not to) for a while now. There are things I cannot change, things that happens for no reason, but itÂs better to accept it and tough it out, because thatÂs more the person I used to be, rather than complain and moan like IÂve been doing lately.

So, once thatÂs said, today is my lovely friend *JudinÂs birthday, so anyone reading this today feel free to go over there and congratulate her on her 20th birthday

I'm also on winter break this week and will probably have more time than usual to spend around dA ^_^

On a brighter note, here are some of my favourite deviants:
She writes lovely poetry and short stories, sheÂs also really god with comments and has always something nice or useful to say about my deviations and I really appreciate the feedback she provides.

I donÂt know her in real life, but she takes wonderful photographs and started great things around here for the photographers like *iPhotograph and *photohunt and whenever I meet her in the chatrooms, she gives me the impression of a caring and devoted deviant.

Makes wonderful fractal arts HeÂs also been a very good friend to me when things have been rough in the past, always listening patiently and giving advice on what to do IÂd like to think heÂs helped me through a lot, just by letting me tell him whatÂs been worrying me. Another plus is that heÂs sent me some lovely music on email

Has been a good friend to me this past year and she's currently into coloring things, which I think she does a great job at

Cursed

~Silenced-beauty — Sun, 01 Feb 2009 13:28:13 PST

My family is cursed.

I have no other way of explaining how all these things just keep happening to us all.

It all started out 7 years ago when my father died in an accident. Not too long after that, his father suffered a heart attack, but luckily he survived.

2007, my other grandfather had heart surgery.

Almost exactly a year ago, I was told I had Leukemia, and on the exact same day as we found out what was wrong with me last year, IÂm told this year that my grandfather, the one that had heart surgery, has a tumour on one of his kidneys, so they need to remove the kidneyÂ His wife isnÂt well either; my grandmother suffers from ParkinsonÂs disease. Is it ever going to end? Luckily they discovered the tumour now, and it can't have been there very long, because grandpa has been to regular controls since his heart surgery, but I'm still worried about him.

Birthday Feature

~Silenced-beauty — Tue, 20 Jan 2009 01:33:17 PST

It's the middle of January and in my opinion the perfect time for winter to end, but nature hates me and we just got a bunch of snow. And since the snow decided to keep me out of school today, I decided to feature three of my friends whose birthdays have just passed or are right around the corner, most likely before I update this thing again, so I decided to dedicate this entry to my friend's birthdays. Of course these are personal favorites.

Happy birthday^-^

December 26

January 1

February 21

CSS by

Christmas

~Silenced-beauty — Sat, 27 Dec 2008 07:33:37 PST

I realize this is a bit late, but Merry Christmas everyone and Happy New Years!

So, my Christmas so far has been kind of weird, because the host family I stayed with last year, is at our house for the holidays. At our house, we now speak a mixture of Norwegian and American English, it's really weird and at times tiresome.

I have a really good friend here on deviantArt that's one of my favorite writers here, , I know this is late: but have a really nice Christmas Break and enjoy yourself.

CSS by:

Scuzzle

~Silenced-beauty — Fri, 21 Nov 2008 09:56:30 PST

*photohunt had a big event a while back and I promised to feature the winners.
The people below won two rounds of the game and have their winning pieces followed by two personal favorites.

<...

Tired and lonely

~Silenced-beauty — Sun, 10 Aug 2008 07:14:55 PDT

Do you ever get the feeling of being completely lost on a project? Where even people who started a month later than you are more than a chapter ahead while you're stuck on page one of the reading? That loser so far behind, that's me.

This has been a hard race -no not hard-, extremely challenging race is more like it, against the leukemia, which in the end, I won. But the victory is bittersweet. I get to stay at home, no more chemo and talk to my friends more often, all of which is great, but I have trouble with eating and drinking, barely getting enough down to keep myself standing, and I'm supposed to train and get muscles back and get stronger.

Eating is such a disaster. Mom is nagging on me to eat, and I know it's really important that I try all I can, and I really do try, but it's never good enough, it's always 'You have to do better than that,' or 'After my own experience, eating right after you've thrown up is the best time to eat and get the food to stay down.' I feel so down at the moment and I really wish I had a friend who knew what I was going through, but none of my friends ever went through what I've just experienced, I highly doubt anyone of them has been so far down with doctors not telling you everything, being uncertain of how to proceed and the situation dead serious.

I just need a shoulder to cry on, that doesn't judge, doesn't nag me about anything and that understands how scary cancer really is, even though you never straight out tell people you're scared.

CSS by

Rainy weather and features

~Silenced-beauty — Sat, 02 Aug 2008 07:25:13 PDT

The hot summer weather is finally over and some rain is falling. It's great. I like rain, and the air is so much cooler than what it's been lately.

I thought getting home would solve all my problems, but it didn't. I'm still having trouble eating enough every day, I'm like an anorectic trying to recover and man is it hard work. But I finally feel like things are going better and that in itself is a huge step in the right direction.

And now over to the featuring of some of my favorite artists here at deviantArt:

My best friend, check her out:

Great photographer and a good friend:

My "step-brother". He's here mostly because of my pet and because he has some awesome pictures:

and my sweetheart:

Thanks to for the CSS and for the subscription.

Happy + Pageview contest

~Silenced-beauty — Sat, 19 Jul 2008 10:43:41 PDT

I'm just really happy, I was released two days ago and am finally home. No more hospital everyday, more like every other day, but it's great to be home. I'm really exhausted, and will take a long time rebuilding muscles and food habits, but the leukemia is gone so everything's good ^-^

Lots of love to the friend that's been to see me at the hospital once or twice a week: ~frozen-bubbles And thanks a billion to her for the subscription too.

About this contest thing, whoever can provide a screen shot of my page at the pageviews 3,599 3,600 or 3,601 will have three of their deviations featured in my next journal.

Letter Tag

~Silenced-beauty — Tue, 01 Jul 2008 03:58:10 PDT

Tagged by the lovely

Use the 1st letter of your last name to answer each of the following. They have to be real places, names, things: nothing
made up. Try to use different answers if the person in front of you had the same 1st initial, WHICH IS SORT OF HARD IF YOU'VE ALREADY READ THEIR ANSWERS. You CAN'T use your own name for the boy/girl. You can only use an answer one time, no repeats. If you do this, tag at least three people, and leave them messages to let them know they've been tagged!

1. What is your last name?
.......... Loeff
2. 4 letter word
.......... Lion
3. Vehicle:
.......... Light rail
4. City, State or Country:
.......... Luxembourg
5. Boy Name:
.......... Lennon
6. Girl Name:
.......... Lisa
7. Occupation:
.......... Lawyer
8. Something you wear:
.......... Leather
9. Food:
.......... Lettuce
10. Found in a bathroom:
.......... Lavatory
11. Reason for being late:
.......... Lost my car keys
12. Something you shout:
.......... Look out
13. Animal:
.......... Leopard
14. Word to describe you:
.......... Lazy
15. Word you hate:
.......... Losing
16. Something on TV
.......... LOST

And the lucky winners of the tag lottery are:
and

Almost over, finally.

~Silenced-beauty — Thu, 29 May 2008 09:22:03 PDT

Finally there's an end to this madness of an illness. Aiming for home by the end of July, until then hello hospital nurses and doctors every day... Going for the last part of treating this cancer now and then I'm on my way back to normal life with hospital visits only if I get sick and to see that all is well every three months for the first year then bye bye hospital. Bye bye food regulations.

I was so looking forward to eating strawberries this summer, but because I'm getting the treatment I am, I'm not allowed to eat any fruit that can't be pealed and that would include all the berries I like too So no strawberries for me this year.

Buuut, I found a few old songs on my computer that made me smile: good memories of singstar and fun with friends:

McFly 'Obviously':
[link]

Fountains of Wayne 'Stacy's Mom':
[link]

If anyone has any good movies to recommend, feel free to do so, including a short plot summary without too many spoilers ^-^ Watching a lot of movies these days.

Personal update

~Silenced-beauty — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 08:52:06 PDT

I think it's time for another confession, this time in list form. Too tired to write long paragraphs about my bothers.

Leukemia sucks!
The treatment almost more so. This time I had an allergic reaction to one of the meds and stopped breathing for a few seconds. >.<

I miss my brother, barely seen him since August because of the US trip then the whole getting sick part. So gonna hug him to death when I'm well. -s him anyway-

My birthday went well, got to celebrate at home.

Thanks for all the pageviews

I miss school and being with friends all the time.

I'm starving, been IV fed the last three weeks so my stomach's empty.

Hopefully I get to go home from the hospital soon.

One last thing, I really like Panic at the Disco's new cd.

Thanks for you time.

Movie Tag Thing

~Silenced-beauty — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 10:12:41 PDT

I figured it was about time to do something fun instead of just boring myself with the same old things. Besides, movies are great at any time in your life when there's nothing better to do. Some of the quotes are rather easy.

>tagged by >

Movie Quote Quiz:
1. Pick 15 of your favourite movies.
2. Go to IMDB and find a quote from each movie.
3. Post them for everyone to guess.
4. Fill in the film title once it's guessed.
5. No cheating. That includes search engines such as Google and IMDB's internal search engine.

1) {Pirates of the Caribbean - At World's End} "The world's still the same - there's just less in it"

2) {Bruce Almighty} "And that's the way the cookie crumbles"

3) {Phantom of the Opera} "A toad, madam? Perhaps it is you who are the toad..."

4) "Now I am the ruler of all the ocean! The waves obey my every whim!"

5) {Finding Neverland} "Young boys should never be sent to bed... they always wake up a day older."

6) {Donnie Darko} [Donnie]: I made a new friend today.
[Doctor]: Real or imaginary?
[Donnie]: Imaginary.

7) {Sweeney Todd - Demon Barber of Fleet Street} "At last! My arm is complete again!"

8) {Enchanted} "I seek a beautiful girl. My life partner, my one coquette, the answer to my love's duet."

9) {Stay} [Person quotes]: "bad art is more tragically beautiful than good art 'cause it documents human failure."

10) "I guess there's no such thing as safe sex with a werewolf"

11) {Fight Club} "This is your life and it's ending one minute at a time"

12) {Spaceballs} I ain't shooting this thing, I hate guns.
[her hair gets singed by a laser]
[Princess]: My hair, he shot my hair. Son of a bitch!
[begins blasting]

13) [Girl 1]: Just admit you're stupid and don't know what you're talking about.
[Girl 2]: I'm stupid and I don't know what I'm talking about

14) {Shrek 2} "I'm sorry, the position of annoying talking animal has already been filled"

15) {Once Upon a Time in Mexico} "Are you a Mexi-CAN or a Mexi-CAN'T?"

Home Sweet Home

~Silenced-beauty — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 06:32:21 PDT

I got to go home, so I didn't have to worry about being treated so far away from home after all. A doctor came from Denmark and went home with mom and me. We all traveled first class (which I never would've if I hadn't been sick, and probably never will again) and the trip from Chicago O'Hare to London Heathrow couldn't have been more comfortable.

The trip itself was exhausting, but when I got to the hospital where I was to stay, I had to be isolated, since I'd been in the hospital in a foreign country. The next day, I had to take another bone marrow sample before starting the first week of chemotherapy. Then we just had to wait, first a week to make sure there was no more leukemia in my bone marrow, then for the bone marrow to rebuild (and we're still waiting). I've been in the hospital almost 5 weeks now, and this week was scheduled for the second treatment, but as my bone marrow hasn't started working properly, we just have to wait for that and I've got to stay at the hospital.

I got to spend a night at home for the first time since August 02, left last night and have to be back with all the nurses tonight. Hopefully things will change soon.

Edit: I'm going to be home the whole week of Easter.

On another note, I've been cleaning up some in my gallery and will soon be uploading more pictures from my trips to New York and Disney World, Orlando.

Slightly worried

~Silenced-beauty — Sat, 02 Feb 2008 08:05:08 PST

I've had the most wonderful time of my life the last 6 months, but now I'm scared. I'm in the hospital, about to start a very hard month of treatment and I'm so far from home. But thankfully my mom and brother are coming over with my grandma and mom's boyfriend and they're gonna stay here with me while it's all going on and I'll hopefully be able to go back to school after that again. I guess time will tell.

If I get time or possibility I'll upload some pics and stuff, but don't count on anything at all from me for at least a month, don't expect anything at all. I'll miss dA and my friends here, but I'll be back when I'm well again.

Most Wonderful Time...

~Silenced-beauty — Sun, 16 Dec 2007 18:38:56 PST

I still can't believe how lucky I am to be spending a year in the United States and live with one of my best friends for a school year. We've had a lot of fun, doing marching band and being part of the Macy's Thanksgiving's Day Parade as well as placing third at state. And I realize just now that this is my first entry since I got here, which is kind of sad.

What made me want to write, was a story I wrote a little over a year ago, that was supposed to have more stories following, but never did: [link]

Anyhow, leaving for Florida next week, we're spending Christmas at Disney ^.^ I get to see a lot of the country as we're driving from Indiana and down and it's really nice. So I'll be adding a lot of Disney pictures when I get back in January

Will be gone from December 23 to around January 5.

Merry Christmas everyone and a happy new year as well.

Feature

~Silenced-beauty — Tue, 24 Jul 2007 14:37:28 PDT

The first five people who reply to this journal get put up here, along with three of my favorite deviations by them.

The catch is: You have to put this in your journal as well, so no cheating.

You must have more than a dozen deviations that I can pick my 3 favs from.

Please have something in your gallery (photos, drawings and written work), or else I'll disregard the comment.

And I'll leave a little comment with it too of course.

#1:
Russian deviant with many talents.

[link] This is my fav piece, I just love it, the starry sky and everything.

[link] The hair in this one is just awesome and that's what caught my attention first, and the hearts are also nice of course.

[link] I can't really describe this drawing, I just like it. The shading, her expression and especially her hair.

#2:
A painter from the UK. He's a relatively new deviant.

[link] Phoenix vs. Dragon. I just love phoenixes.

[link] This is my favourite one from his gallery. The colors are amazing.

[link] I like the concept of this one.

Projects

~Silenced-beauty — Sun, 03 Jun 2007 00:43:27 PDT

Think it's time for an update as to what I've been up to lately. I've been uploading a lot recently, that's because I still have many pictures from France that turned out nice and that I'd like to share with the deviantArt society. And I constantly find new things that I like and to be frank, I've grown fond of taking pictures since I got my camera for my birthday.

I've found something I like here at dA (other than the forum itself obviously) check out for more info, if you like taking pictures, that's the place to go.

I would've added thumbs here, and a CSS and all that, but gotta get my lazy ass off the chair and by myself a sub first So, for now, I'll have to deal with just adding links.

Not too long ago, I took some picture for a friend of mine, . I decided that since it's been raining a lot lately, it's time to go back there and add a few more pictures to that series XD

Waterfall series:
I: [link]
II: [link]
III: [link]
IV: [link]
V: [link]

Other than that, I have to finish this school year then start packing, because in August I'm on my way to Indiana ^.^

Love Hurts

~Silenced-beauty — Sat, 19 May 2007 01:47:19 PDT

What follows below is rather personal, so you don't have to read it or understand. I just needed to get it out of my system again this year.

Another year has now officially passed since you passed away dad, and we're doing our best to move on with our lives at home. There are so many things I think about on this day, things you never got to see, since you're just a picture on a wall now, and emptiness inside. You never got to be there in my confirmation, or my eighteenth birthday. Not even me leaving to study a year in the US... We don't really talk much about you; it's more like we think about you without mentioning to each other.

I've made myself a promise, this year I will come visit you at the graveyard more often, since I won't be able to do so in a year. I just wish I had said goodbye the day you left to go fishing, maybe things would've been different then, but I was too busy playing to really say goodbye that day and then it was suddenly too late to say anything to you and expect a reply.

Mom's the age you were when you died now, it's weird to think about actually. Everything happens for a reason, right? Well, I'd like to know the reason for your passing. It can't be so that I can go abroad with the insurance money, that's for sure, that would just have been stupid.

Something I haven't thought about before, is that this day isn't just a day I have to visit you, but it's also my grandfather and great-grandmother's birthdays today...

I miss you, wish I could see you one last time and say goodbye.