http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:SirithrosLirenel&section=today deviantART RSS for by:SirithrosLirenel en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Wed, 23 Dec 2009 04:43:31 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://SirithrosLirenel.deviantart.com/journal/27247551/ http://SirithrosLirenel.deviantart.com/journal/27247551/ Wed, 16 Sep 2009 15:51:15 PDT
On the bad side, I miss home like crazy. Almost everyone here is SO into pubbing and clubbing and drinking and that's just not my lifestyle even though I have gone along for the sake of blending in and making friends, but gah it feels somewhat like a personal betrayal? Talked to Grace on skype today; then closed the computer and felt like crap because I miss having a mugging companion; here people look at you like you're rabid if you so much as hint you actually like studying ):

The stars are so beautiful here, but I wish we were seeing the same constellations.

Hope everyone's been alright! I've been just so busy that I haven't had time to draw and stuff but hopefully... hopefully.

]]> ~SirithrosLirenel http://SirithrosLirenel.deviantart.com/journal/26708317/ http://SirithrosLirenel.deviantart.com/journal/26708317/ Thu, 20 Aug 2009 07:50:00 PDT
Don't you feel your heart shattering when you read this: [link]

I think it's time for plan B xD

Two weeks and a bit to Edinburgh.

]]> ~SirithrosLirenel http://SirithrosLirenel.deviantart.com/journal/25883783/ http://SirithrosLirenel.deviantart.com/journal/25883783/ Sat, 11 Jul 2009 16:44:44 PDT
]]> ~SirithrosLirenel http://SirithrosLirenel.deviantart.com/journal/25768207/ http://SirithrosLirenel.deviantart.com/journal/25768207/ Mon, 06 Jul 2009 06:50:11 PDT
Ok that just had to be announced. Because they're books, and they're big and glossy and smell good and are chock-full of interesting stuff. Still missing anatomy and pathology though because the bookstore didn't carry papa moore or the pathology books. Hi who has an NUS student card to lend me? (: Pretty please?

So today I went to bras brasah with Ally and Yeremy and we wandered the bookstores and bought books and talked. A lot. Yay. Ally and I experienced some epic backfire because Yeremy - as usual - paid for lunch right, and we're trying to pay him back, with the usual results. So we ended up in starbucks and Ally's like, ok let's send him to get drinks, then we stuff the money into his bag while he's away. Except we were just about to do the deed and he comes back and gets his bag. FAIL xD Yeremy is also officially the sweetest person ever because he helped me carry the bags of books all the way home gosh. At risk of being spotted by my parents. (thank goodness they weren't home when we got back!)

I miss Grace who is currently at medicamp ):

Finally, HI HONEYS HARRY POTTER IS COMING OUT WHO WANTS TO GO WATCH? (:

Edinburgh to-do list:
1. VISA omg help my middle name is procrastination
2. Student card thing
3. My aunt has a Date with me to get more jeans
4. STOCK UP ON STATIONERY (I want more RJ files xD and maybe some Raffles shirts)
5. Buy Anatomy and Pathology books
6. Build up alcohol tolerance
7. Build up lack sleep tolerance
8. REPRESS LAC DISCIPLINE OPERON.

]]> ~SirithrosLirenel http://SirithrosLirenel.deviantart.com/journal/25506800/ http://SirithrosLirenel.deviantart.com/journal/25506800/ Tue, 23 Jun 2009 23:12:18 PDT
Monday Grace Yeremy and I went to NUS to surprise Lihsia since her birthday was on Tuesday. Her colleagues and boss are amusing and hahaha Grace is a walking tribute to Murphy's Law!! (or we just had a very humorous cake) We'd brought a whole cheesecake (to curry fLavour with her colleagues xD) and were distributing the pieces in the lounge when Grace picks up a slice of cake on the knife and says, "If I drop it, do I get to eat it?"

... and then the cake promptly flopped over, wrong side up, onto the plate and got smashed. Yay.

Oh and Lihsia's Cambodian MIT (!) colleague is funny and then we made Lihsia give the last slice of cake to her stalker (:

After that we went to Raffles City and Shumin joined us for lunch and we walked all the way to Suntec looking for something for Leanne the resident small whale since she's headed to her new school in Australia next week. And while we were talking we came up with a quote: "When we were young we laughed about the moments we cried. Now we cry about the moments we laughed." which is rather fitting since a lot of our conversations now revolve around how things are changing so dramatically and how we're all going our separate ways, but I guess that's the price we pay for being such a diverse group huh. Not that I would trade my darlings for anything <3

My flight to London is booked too, now. I leave on 7 September. Two months and a week to go! ^^

]]> ~SirithrosLirenel http://SirithrosLirenel.deviantart.com/journal/25371298/ http://SirithrosLirenel.deviantart.com/journal/25371298/ Wed, 17 Jun 2009 11:01:30 PDT
]]> ~SirithrosLirenel http://SirithrosLirenel.deviantart.com/journal/25322035/ http://SirithrosLirenel.deviantart.com/journal/25322035/ Mon, 15 Jun 2009 04:56:35 PDT <

Since my last post it's been confirmed that I am going to the University of Edinburgh! (and that HKU and NUS are now officially my most detested universities after Imperial, which made me fly all the way around the world for my interview and then unceremoniously kicked me out on my behind anyway) and the countdown currently stands at two months three weeks to Fresher's Week! (: Today I went to Bras Brasah with Yeremy to check out the second-hand bookstores for cheap med textbooks since I can't buy from the NUS co-op, not being an NUS student (and glad of that) and gosh I love the smell of old books <3 There were so many too, but I really need recommendations as to which ones are a worthy purchase >< Then after that we somehow ended up at the Cathedral of the Good Shepherd - Singapore's Catholic Cathedral - and watched them change one of the ceiling lights xD I like quiet churches when there's almost noone inside. They feel very peaceful, except the Good Shepherd was falling apart and looks like it's in dire need of a heck of a lot more maintenance. St Theresa's looks a lot cleaner and grander(or maybe I'm just biased xD)

Last week my family and I were in Taiwan and I managed to revisit some of the places we'd been to three and a half years ago (hi Ally and Alicia ^^). Jiufen and Danshui look mostly the same, and the same old lady works the snack store at XiaoYouKeng in Yangmingshan National Park. I get too nostalgic at times.

Apart from that my life has mainly been giving tuition to bratty little kids (many of whom I'd like to hit over the head with something hard and blunt) and compiling more and more stories about these kids and their parents which alternately make you want to kill small furry animals and head the wall. That, and stealing little moments with friends like going out with Grace Ziluo Yeremy today (: Because even as I count down the days to Edinburgh I wonder how I'm going to uproot myself and move halfway around the world. It just gets more and more real every day, and suddenly reality doesn't seem quite as exciting as I thought it'd be at first...

]]> ~SirithrosLirenel http://SirithrosLirenel.deviantart.com/journal/24712900/ http://SirithrosLirenel.deviantart.com/journal/24712900/ Mon, 11 May 2009 22:59:56 PDT
Make that an unhappy turd too. Since the last post I've been to London and back (London was awesome! I managed to catch the Phantom of the Opera and Wicked at West End <3 and went to the British Museum), been rejected by two more universities, HKU and CUHK have just about droped off the radar, and NUS IS NOT REPLYING TO ME. Rawr.

So tell me again, why did I want to study med?

On the bright side, I have my place in Edinburgh; on the very-much-not-so-bright side, I'll be paying international student fees which are like ten times the fees the locals pay (life is unfair, why do I have to be from Singapore) and I NEED CASH ): ): ): Can NUS please hurry up and just say whether you want me or not?

Also, my stint at KK ended so now I'm back to working for my parents and day in day out I've been staring at the same four walls and the same computer screen and being bored into oblivion with typing notes and marking papers. Bad grammar and abuse of language on a daily basis doesn't help my mental state.

These days I miss a lot of things. I miss school like crap - having structure in my life, seeing people other than my parents (they're lovely people; there are just so many things I can't do around them or tell them), STUDYING, being intellectually productive and accomplished... My parents do not understand my need for challenging mental activity and the urge to learn new things ): I miss the old close crowd, and mos after school, and the school buildings themselves (except the annoying new things llc added) and walkabouts after school instead of being stuck here 24/7. Gah. The waiting is the worst bit.

"Faded blue/
Of your remoter heaven"

]]> ~SirithrosLirenel http://SirithrosLirenel.deviantart.com/journal/23888962/ http://SirithrosLirenel.deviantart.com/journal/23888962/ Wed, 25 Mar 2009 18:35:59 PDT
What's happening:

1. Bristol interview tomorrow (thank goodness they're flying someone over here, but does that mean there are many more Singapore applicants to Bristol?)

2. Leaving for London on Saturday for Imperial interview! (: Does anyone have any suggestions how to while away Sunday-Tuesday since my interview's only on Wednesday? Any must-visit places in London? I'm completely confused as to where to start, which is bad because I'm supposed to plan the itinerary >< Also, suggestions on how to spend eight (!) hours alone at Heathrow airport will be very welcome because my flight arrives at six in the morning and I've to wait for my aunt, who arrives at 2 in the afternoon. Still can't believe I'll have to travel almost halfway around the world by myself :/ And back.

3. NUS med interview and essay test/psychometric test once I get back from London. Need to reschedule interview due to a most unfortunate clash with Imperial.

4. I haven't submitted my Astar scholarship app yet omg.

5. Have also a hundred and one things to mail out to various schools/organisations which I haven't done yet.

6. I'm sure there's something I'm forgetting to do. There always is.

7. Oh yes, HKU and CUHK AREN'T REPLYING. Fine. Don't want me. I'll go to the UK or stay in Singapore *pouts*

So, yeah. I swear I'll get round to clearing my backlog of stuff once *this* tangle is sorted out. Hopefully by May I'll know where I'm going to university for sure (:

]]> ~SirithrosLirenel http://SirithrosLirenel.deviantart.com/journal/23719878/ http://SirithrosLirenel.deviantart.com/journal/23719878/ Sun, 15 Mar 2009 20:29:37 PDT < But we're waiting for news of this journal thing we're supposed to be searching up and I don't think it's available online but well.

It's been a Happening week-and-a-bit since my last update. Results came back on the sixth. It was... painful. Econs can go stick itself where the sun don't shine. Still, Edinburgh still wants me! <3 And my parents were ok enough with it. So then there was some scrambling to get tickets and accomodation and stuff - I'm flying to London for my Imperial interview, which, incidentally, is on April Fools' Day xD So all things considered, nothing hurt there but my pride and sense of self-worth, but I have to get over that huh. Just that it's so annoying when you spend all your time striving for perfection and you lose out just because you're not an "all rounder". The perfect math and bio record has to count for *something* right?! I should also just stop making excuses. Grace - congrats dear. It's an awesome set of results! (:

Last Friday I got off work early and watched Watchmen with Grace Yeremy Timo and Shumin met us at Plaza Sing for lunch. The beginning part of the movie was rather good! But then it got lousier, and the end was a bit of a letdown. Still, overall an ok movie.

Saturday I felt like killing small furry animals after classes, but that's nothing new. Sometimes you wonder how parents are raising their children now. Sunday went for NUS open house with Yeremy. The difference between the school of Nursing and the school of Med, which gave talks in the same session, is rather amusing. Nursing is obviously suffering from a lack of people because their talk was all "come join us! You'll like it!" and med's more like "Are you sure you want to join? Really? Think first yeah. *Now* are you sure?" xD Oh then we went to kino. And I picked up more Pratchett because I haven't bought fiction for a long time.

I'm feeling increasingly out of the loop, but what scares me is how little it seems to matter right now.

]]> ~SirithrosLirenel http://SirithrosLirenel.deviantart.com/journal/23502464/ http://SirithrosLirenel.deviantart.com/journal/23502464/ Tue, 03 Mar 2009 06:27:03 PST <

RESULTS OUT ON FRIDAY. 2.30 pm. I’m dying from the wait, as I have been since the weekend, or rather, since we predicted that results would come this Friday. At first it was just momentary bursts of panic when I contemplated econs and GP grades, but now it’s gone into full-fledged, full-time FEAR. Cannot stand myself; until now I never did get how people threw up from nerves, but I’ve very intelligently managed to do so twice in the past three days and there’s a persistent ache in my stomach. Go me. It doesn’t help that I realized today, with Grace’s help, that my backup plans in case of dismal A’levels results are… well, *not* backup plans because they all involve a) med school, b) a PHD, c) both, and only differ by time taken and where I’m going. Very smart, Diana. Now if you’d just use your brain for once and consider the implications of a B for econs or GP…

Cannot. Come back with six As or not at all.

Oh, did I mention I feel kind of schizo? Just ask Grace! (:

Other things… Very cool conference going on tomorrow till Friday which Grace and I get to help out at yay! ^^ I also need to stop thinking about how my A’levels grades matter *even* more now because 1. I need to fulfill the Edinburgh offer, and 2. Imperial wants to interview me omg! And, if anyone knows any relatively low-cost reputable airlines flying from Singapore to London, pretty please give me recommendations because I need to figure out the logistics of getting to my interview in the first place!

Also, please forgive me if I haven't been replying to messages and stuff... Hoping life goes back to normal after Friday! ><

]]> ~SirithrosLirenel http://SirithrosLirenel.deviantart.com/journal/23387970/ http://SirithrosLirenel.deviantart.com/journal/23387970/ Tue, 24 Feb 2009 18:50:15 PST < Met again yesterday with my darlings; it's getting more and more apparent how *fast* we're growing up, and I'm not sure I like it. Hi Grace! (:

YEREMY IS A PIMP HAHAHA I wish Grace would hurry up and post photos on facebook, because then the whole WORLD will see Yeremy out with FIVE! girls xD And his class already thinks he has three girlfriends *snigger*

Grace and I left work early yesterday, and then I met Hsia at Kino to choose a physics book for Yeremy and I love Hsia's present (: And the chocolates! Thank you darling <3 What's going to happen next year! ): We're going to scatter, and NEXT FRIDAY IS RESULTS DAY (by estimation and common consensus) and I'm SCARED. <-- that was Grace.

Ok going to STOP updating at work ><

HAPPY BIRTHDAY YEREMY!!! (:

]]> ~SirithrosLirenel http://SirithrosLirenel.deviantart.com/journal/23279021/ http://SirithrosLirenel.deviantart.com/journal/23279021/ Wed, 18 Feb 2009 20:10:01 PST
Since January, I've gotten a job (of sorts) at KKH thanks to Yeremy's mum, which I guess is pretty interesting (: Plus I'm working with Grace, which is good because I have someone to talk to and fool around with. (And go out with after work) Actually, I'm at the office now (oops) and *should* be working, but THERE'S NOTHING TO DO because we mainly do records, but the records people downstairs really hate us and are so busy they can't send us the files we requested (I bet they're busy on purpose) so we're slacking. xD Oh, and HR and the finance department are anal.

Other things... Went out with Ally recently before she went back to Australia, caught Red Cliff again, had a good time at Vivocity. Then nothing much happened except for Valentine's Day, which was something of a logistical nightmare because Grace, Shumin, Hsia and I are all working, and Yeremy has school, and Ziluo is Serving the Nation (ahaha) so it was a pain trying to arrange presents and meeting times and whatnot, but it was worth it! Last Thursday (was it really a week ago now!) we had a brief gathering after work at Raffles City, involving lots of last-minute (but nonetheless inspired) gift ideas and it was nice to have everyone together again <3 Received some awesome chocolate from Yeremy which I hadn't the heart to eat because it looked so PRETTY (Canele!!!) but my sister had no such qualms so now it's heartbroken. And a wish necklace from Grace which I know is tacky but hell, I like it (: And I think I know what I'll use it for, because I now have a CONDITIONAL FROM EDINBURGH to do MEDICINE!!! (: (: (: And I'd really rather study there than in Singapore or Hong Kong. Barring annoying little factors... *crosses fingers*

It's tough, finding out just how life actually consists of so many factors in play at the same time. I mean, we all knew that before, but having that knowledge and experiencing it is just so different. >< In the three or so months since school ended we've all changed so much. But. I'd better shut up now haha before I get into trouble. Gah :/

]]> ~SirithrosLirenel http://SirithrosLirenel.deviantart.com/journal/22552418/ http://SirithrosLirenel.deviantart.com/journal/22552418/ Mon, 12 Jan 2009 21:02:24 PST
I've watched Red Cliff 2!!! And on the same day as Leanne, haha. And IT WAS EPIC. Like more epic than epic! Like LoTR, but in a more human way. Then again, Three kingdoms *is* kind of like Chinese LoTR (Journey to the West doesn't count; who cares about delinquent monkey gods?!) John Woo is a genius <3 It's like he took everything he learned in Hollywood and applied it to Chinese cinema, but it's also got a more Kung-fu-movie feel to it as well (like the scene where Zhou Yu is prancing, uh, swooping around the house with his sword and Xiao Qiao recites the Art of War, which was really artistic even if it doesn't sound like it is) And Zhou Yu and Zhuge Liang together were SO cool (and cute at times xD) and fine although we *know* it's not going to end like that, well there's artistic license for you and it wasn't half bad! On a more random note, Zhao Zilong as played by Hu Jun seriously reminds me of Glorfindel as he's portrayed in fandom; I have no idea why xD And the scenery was really nice, though I'm not too sure how much of it was computer-generated.

Other things... I'm not going to Cambridge ): Pooled but still completely, ultimately, unceremoniously rejected. Pfft. Oh well. Imperial, please...? ><

Last Thursday I went to White Sands with Grace and Yeremy to see guys (namely, Ziluo) off to Xian Shen Wei Guo (where did the "type Chinese" option on this computer go?!!), aka National Service. Yesterday was the first day of JC and the O'Levels results release day, which didn't exactly impact us except for Yeremy. Grace, Leanne, Ally and I went out to City Hall and sat in the Starbucks for a bit talking about movies (apparently, Australia is complete crap and Ip Man sounds interesting) and then we walked around eating and talking xD oh and taking horrible photos! *sniggers* Then we wound up at the Esplanade, taking *more* photos! Which actually turned out pretty nice, some of them. It's kind of bittersweet, because we look so mature now. There's a totally different kind of feel compared to the RG and RJ photos, but then that's a little like stating the obvious. And Yeremy joined us after he was done with school. I do love the old, close crowd (:

Work continues mundanely, and I'm dying to learn something new. Like how last Thursday we were saying that getting out of school is like going back down Maslow's Heirachy of Needs, because in school your parents met your most basic needs, but now you're really and truly adult and in the working world, you've got to start thinking of how to meet those needs below for ourselves when previously we just had to concentrate on studying.

]]> ~SirithrosLirenel http://SirithrosLirenel.deviantart.com/journal/22424590/ http://SirithrosLirenel.deviantart.com/journal/22424590/ Mon, 05 Jan 2009 21:44:26 PST
Pfft.

I feel kind of cheated. Like how Grace and I were so early and on-task when it came to our UK apps, and hello?! No results?! So maybe I could have used that time for something else huh. It's an itchy-irritating feeling watching other people get acceptances and offers and whatnot, and all the while you feel like you're running behind the bus trying to catch up and there's this distinct feeling of doom that I won't catch up, and to quote Perve-is, "There's always NUS." Or Hong Kong U, in my case, But still! ):

Not much has happened since Grace's birthday celebrations, which were EPIC. I <3 Shumin for being my co-conspirator (or should I say, criminal mastermind?) and the guys for being so game about it *sniggers*

And I'm also really sad that I haven't posted any art since pre-exams last year! ): And that my latest works in progress disappeared when my file got stolen, so I've been working from scratch but because of my amazing efficiency it'll probably be a while yet before I finish anything. Ahrgh? I'm trying to see if I can get anywhere with my Red Cliff picture before part 2 gets released later this week.

I miss school, and studying, and structure. (ooh, sibilant alliteration!)

]]> ~SirithrosLirenel http://SirithrosLirenel.deviantart.com/journal/22297157/ http://SirithrosLirenel.deviantart.com/journal/22297157/ Wed, 31 Dec 2008 08:14:51 PST
... It feels so strange not to be worrying about going back to school. And I almost wish I was.

This is just a quick post; lots has been happening but my parents are around so I'm posting and running. Sorry to everyone I've left without replies and stuff; I'll get round to them soon! And I mean it this time - MY US APPS ARE ALL IN. Go me (:

]]> ~SirithrosLirenel http://SirithrosLirenel.deviantart.com/journal/22198076/ http://SirithrosLirenel.deviantart.com/journal/22198076/ Thu, 25 Dec 2008 19:20:46 PST
HAPPY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE! (If a little belated, oops.)

Life moved so quickly over the past few days. More work (did I ever mention that I CAN'T TEACH?!! >< ), and my social circle seems to have shrunk to the two people I still routinely sms - Grace and Yeremy. Also, thanks to work and uni apps and my own laziness, I still haven't finished with my Christmas cards; sorry loves! You'll get them... in the end. ><

Monday I went out with Grace and Ziluo, then Ziluo left and Yeremy and Leanne came, and we did funny things like camwhore down at waterfront, which would actually have a pretty good view if not for the construction works going on at the IR. Gah. Christmas was the usual; eating, being bored, entertaining the cousins.

AND. I HAVE WATCHED TWILIGHT. And it was so terrible it's funny. Altogether now: Eeeeewwwwwwww. Well fine, at least it didn't try to masquerade as intelligent literature. But OMG GRACE AND YEREMY - HE *DID* SPARKLE! Like diamonds and everything, most literally! (I kind of cracked up at that scene; I think the Twitards in the cinema were giving me death glares, but OH WELL) And well like the book didn't make sense, the movie didn't either. Apparently, Edward Cullen not only sparkles, he does kung fu. 轻功, to be exact. All that's missing is the 蜻蜓点水 xD Plus bad acting, and by the time we walked out of the cinema I weas near dying from laughter. If you want *intelligent* reading, I suggest Ender in Exile (Thank you Yeremy! <3) which is testiment to what a genius Orson Scott Card is.

P.S. I'm really sorry if I haven't been replying to messages and whatnot; I'll get around to it soon, once the mad uni apps season is over!

]]> ~SirithrosLirenel http://SirithrosLirenel.deviantart.com/journal/21926903/ http://SirithrosLirenel.deviantart.com/journal/21926903/ Thu, 11 Dec 2008 07:30:43 PST

1. Have you had any relationships this year?
Same old same old. (: My darlings are <3, and that's what matters.

2. Have you had your birthday yet?
^^

3. Kissed two people in the same night?
... Dear God, if I have, smite me.

4. Been on a diet?
Oh, you mean not eating on account of studying and being too lazy to leave the seat? yeah. Loads of times.

5. Pulled an all nighter?
SSEF and SRP report. ><

6. Drank Starbucks
Heeheehee (:

7. Went camping?
In the study room.

8. Bought something?
... don't we all need sustenance to get us through school?

9. Met someone special/who changed your life?
They're already here. (:

10. Been out of the province/county?
Hong Kong. As usual.

11. What are you thinking about?
US apps. ): And my deteriorating mental faculties. And people I miss.

12. Hugged someone?
I have *been* hugged. Against my will. I have not done, will not do the hugging.

13. Slept in someone else's bed?
No?

14. Got a job?
I'M NOT A STUDENT ANYMORE. *cries*

15. Loaned out money?
Class funds, notes, other random things... yeah. The balance of payments has gone to the dogs; I'm not even too sure about deficit or surplus anymore.

16. Got in a car accident?
Have nearly been run over... But have not actually been run over.

17. Gone over your mobile phone bill?
I'm spoilt in that respect; my parents pay.

18. Been called a bitch?
Quick, somebody do it now!

19. Done something you regret?
... I guess.

----------------------------------------------

LAST:

Last person you hugged?
See above.

Last person to call you?
can't remember. And too lazy to check my phone.

When was the last time you felt stupid?
Very recently.

What was the last thing you yelled?
"LEAVE MY SKETCHBOOK ALONE."

----------------------------------------------

1)Where did you begin 2008?
At home. In front of the TV. (I remember something about watching 300...)

2) What was your status by Valentine's Day?
Single and perfectly happy.

3) Did you attend school this year?
... no, no.

4) How did you earn your money?
Tuition. Bratty little kids. Bah.

5) Did you have to go to the hospital?
No, and hopefully the answer will stay that way for a long time to come.

6) Did you have any encounters with the police?
Not that I remember.

7) Where did you go on holiday?
Hong Kong!

8) What did you purchase that was over $1000?
... I wish I had. There are many things I would like which cost over $1000, starting with that laptop I've had my eyes on for a while. ):

9) Did you know anybody who got married?
No?

10) Did you know anybody who passed away?
Thankfully no.

12) Did you move anywhere?
Home - school - library - home.

14) What concerts/shows did you go to?
Ziluo's band concert! At least I remember that the best.

15) Are you registered to vote?
Not 21, not Singaporean.

16) Who did you want to win Big Brother?
What? BIG BROTHER IS WATCHING YOU, so watch what you say. haha.

17) Where do you live now?
Somewhere inside my head. Where all the voices are. And where reality doesn't bite so hard.

18) Describe your birthday.
Sweet (:

19) What's one thing you thought you wouldn't do but did in 2008?
Complete the A's!!! Make new friends. Lose old friends. Get sentimental over the end of school. I didn't know I would miss RJ this much.

20) What has been your favorite moment?
It's all the little things which pile up and end up counting the most... There was a lot of studying, and the little things which happened in between, and going out randomly, talking about things, V-day! prom, chess, Raja block (and how to Turn Raja On), Astro tables...

21) What's something you learned?
We finished the syllabus. OMG we did?! Oh yeah, we did. *is amazed* Relativity is an awesome theory, because of the way time seemed to pass this year. The moments were long, but overall it seems to have sped by. And you'll never miss it until it's gone.

22) Any new additions to your family?
The fish (which we bought because my sister wanted a water plant and we thought it would be weird to have a water plant in a tank but no fish), and four terrapins xD

23) What was your best month?
Is this a trick question! All of it was good, almost every moment, and in all sorts of different ways.

24) What music will you remember 2008 by?
Vario... ]]> ~SirithrosLirenel http://SirithrosLirenel.deviantart.com/journal/21822726/ http://SirithrosLirenel.deviantart.com/journal/21822726/ Thu, 04 Dec 2008 20:25:24 PST
Kitties have a new home now. I miss them already, but I guess it's for the best because my parents were getting annoyed and I kept worrying I wasn't caring for them properly.

A little something to take my mind off school withdrawal...

-------- The Secret Meme --------

1. Funny, but noone, really. The two parts seem mutually exclusive to me.
2. Ally, Grace
3. Permanently or temporarily? Temporarily, quite a few people I guess, just for the heck of it.
4. Me? xD And because people from my class are saying it, Huishan.
5. Felicia!
6. Grace, Leanne (heehee tapeworm pills, anyone?)
7. various people from 3L. Like Dawn.
8. ~Almeruve, *Captain-Savvy
9. I already did! With Ally and Grace. Maybe also Leanne and Lihsia and Yeremy.
10. Xiuhue, Shumin, Qihua, Ziluo
11. Leanne xD and Lihsia, but not in a serious way.
12. Ever since last last night, lots of people. (:
13. Timo! (heehee)
14. Grace. Hands down.
15. Please, no?
16. Ally, sometimes Grace, sometimes Yeremy. Maybe Ziluo too.
17. Shumin and Lihsia at times; it's not a bad thing! ^^
18. No idea. In what sense!
19. Grace, Ally, , Ziluo, Xiuhue (funnily enough, I had to rack my brains for this one)
20. Shumin! Leanne. Grace.
21. Huh?
22. --what?!
23. no way.
24. Me.
25. KIALIANG HAHAHA (only when it comes to Benjamin and the KKK though)
26. Noone?
27. Lihsia (I think)
28. That'd just be plain bizzare.
29. doesn't exist.
30. I MISS EVERYONE! ):

]]> ~SirithrosLirenel http://SirithrosLirenel.deviantart.com/journal/21808599/ http://SirithrosLirenel.deviantart.com/journal/21808599/ Wed, 03 Dec 2008 23:16:22 PST
PROM WAS AWESOME. <3 Like the way a 6++ hour long photography session is awesome, but awesome-er. Uh, yeah. I’m not very coherent, which is very possibly the result of not enough sleep, but too bad.

Everyone looked so different and amazingly good last night. Some people you had to stop and stare at for a while before you realised who they were, and then it’s like “wow what happened!!!” And we were so gloriously colourful too. We had all the primary colours – RGB – in full glory rather than the more classic and common black/white/champagne/pale pastels. Grace and I looked like Christmas together, and Leanne and I made the Rafflesian green-black-white xD And Ally crashed prom to do a bit of catching up, which was hilarious. Shumin’s dress was a really nice shade ^^ And the guys were *that* much better-dressed *sniggers* I got to Swissotel kind of early, so it was a little awkward at first, and Yeremy and I got chased out of the lobby (along with all the other people also there for RJ prom and waiting for friends) because I bet the hotel staff thought we were scaring the tourists xD.

Most memorable moments of the night (or some of the most “wow”:
1. PHOTOS!!!
2. Lihsia’s glowy necklace xD Which lit up all the wrong places.
3. Timo is a pimp *and* a camwhore!
4. Yeremy stole my concealer.
5. More photos!!!
6. Joshua’s hair. (like, OMG. How do you even *get* it that colour?)
7. RJC in ice!
8. We’re the last ever batch of RJC people. Cue RIJC next year, HOW UGLY! ):
9. Photos. With everyone you’ve known in RJ, ever.
10. Not the food.
11. Dessert was pretty good.
12. Running around ignoring the rather boring performances taking *more* photos (:
13. CAMWHORING in the cool lobby with the pretty lighting, in the toilet which also had pretty lighting, and with the Christmas tree, and the grand pianos, and… basically all around the area. I think Swissotel staff probably hate us by now, but OH WELL. ^^
14. Grace’s “rom date” Daniel xD
15. Flashlights (from all the photo-taking) (Benjamin’s camera has the most insane flash ever. It leaves you standing there looking dazed for a few seconds after the picture, like “Didja see that elephant?!” and it comes in two waves. I think the first flash is to stun you so you hold the pose and *then* the second flash is like “wham!” and you’re just O.o ooh pretty lights…

The “morning after” is a little surreal, and a little sad. I dunno, at first it was more high than anything, running around the ballroom getting photos with everyone, running around outside getting more photos, and taking posed pictures and whatnot, but then you stop and remind yourself that THIS IS IT, and this is the end of RJC, and of JC, and next year it’s university and nothing’s ever going to be the same again. RJ was a whirlwind of two years. Fast-paced, insane, and we changed so much in such a short time. Talk about a major learning curve. And at the end when the video came up, and I suddenly realised how I haven’t been back to school since the A’levels ended, since the bio MCQ paper on that last day, and how familiar and yet faded the pictures in my memory were compared to the ones on screen. And that in spite of two years of whining about RG and how I missed secondary school, I MISS RJ TOO. I miss lectures and tutorials, and the adrenaline rush that came from being three tutorials (on average) ahead of the lectures, and finishing things a month before they were due, and walking between classes and lectures, and sneaking to the canteen to buy food between (or during) lessons, and silly things that happened during class. And being econs rep and how annoyed I was at first at not getting to be math rep, and running across the area in front of LT4 to look for Grace between classes, and Leanne being next door, and after-school mugging sessions in various places. I miss having short-term attainable goals like CTs and Promos, and then Prelims. Things got that much more uncertain after school, like we all suddenly got thrown into Life at the deep end. Just one night, and it’s Officially Over. Before that I could still pretend. JC’s not over yet, we haven’t graduated properly yet. But now we have. It’s goodbye and good luck, hello world. How can things change so drastically over six or so hours? And when the final school song and school cheers came up, it almost felt like an everyday morning assembly again, except we’re all dressed t... ]]> ~SirithrosLirenel http://SirithrosLirenel.deviantart.com/journal/21708551/ http://SirithrosLirenel.deviantart.com/journal/21708551/ Fri, 28 Nov 2008 00:20:32 PST
I NEED ADVICE ON WHAT TO DO WITH THREE REALLY SMALL KITTENS! To cut a long story short, they were found at Pasir Ris park this morning (Yeremy took them home), and I think they're a few weeks old at most but their eyes are already open. I think they may still need milk because the one I was carrying kept sucking on my fingers. But apart from that I have no idea what to feed them (apart from not giving them cow's milk) or how to care for them and whatnot. So any advice will be much appreciated!

Anyway, for those who *are* reading on, this is the story of my most surreal morning. Was dug up insanely early (for a non-school day anyway) because my sister had riding lessons at Pasir Ris park. So I went off for a run by myself - and was stopped at the beach by a girl with a bike who was kneeling at the roadside (I thought she had bike problems at first) and she's like "I found abandoned kittens in a plastic bag". Things got really strange from there. They were really really cute! And small! And they had the bluest eyes <3 So I called my mum, who's back at the stables waiting for my sister, and the first thing she says is "omg stay away don't touch them" (it turns out later that she thought I'd said I found chickens rather than kittens, and she thought they might have bird flu O.o) so I called the SPCA, and they weren't much help either because the first thing they told me was that the kittens would likely get put down if the SPCA took them, so I started panicking. Called up anyone on my contact list who I thought had the remotest chance of taking in at least one of them. The other girl was calling around too. Then we got desperate enough to try to ask passers-by if they could take a kitten home. (none of them did; most looked at the cats, said something along the lines of "ewwww" and ran off ): ) But this group of other students stopped (I think they were on their way to go kayak or something, so they said) and they started calling around too. It was kind of funny, there were at that point six or so of us, standing around these three tiny kittens in a plastic bag on the ground making desperate calls left right and centre ("but Muuuuuum they're so small and cute! Pleaaaase?! Look I'll send you a picture!") And in the end I suggested we take them back to the stables because I'd seen cats at the stables, so I thought maybe the people there might know what to do - and I was half-hoping I could convince my mum we really wanted one of them (no luck there) but Yeremy said yes! So he came to Pasir Ris and took them home (:

It's a little sad how most of the adults we asked all said no so vehmently. As in, I can see where they're coming from - it's a commitment, it's expensive, I don't even know what to do with cats etc - but even temporarily? I know it's someone else's problem that they threw their kittens out, but to me it's a bit like walking past a starving child on the street and not feeling - let alone doing - anything. So maybe growing older makes you cynical and whatnot. Or maybe you think of it as more mature, more rational. But sometimes does this rationality override your sense of compassion? At least, that's the closest word I can think of for it. It's kind of like how at the m_f_a interview they kept asking me whether I could be ruthless and work for the greater good even if I personally felt it was wrong, or unjust, or cruel to the other party. I don't think I can do that. Maybe God sent me down that way today to tell me why I missed out on the internship huh.

And I wish my parents would stop saying how I'm such an irrational emotional soft-hearted "animal lover" (they say it like it's a bad thing) because now they're going around telling my aunts how they got held up at the park this morning because I, uh, "decided to do my good deed for the day" and then they get these (I don't know what to call them) indulgent? looks, like "oh it's so funny she's always been into this silly animal rescue thing but what can we do? We're still waiting for her to grow out of it". Pfft.

]]> ~SirithrosLirenel http://SirithrosLirenel.deviantart.com/journal/21577349/ http://SirithrosLirenel.deviantart.com/journal/21577349/ Thu, 20 Nov 2008 06:41:15 PST
Today, Yeremy completely thrashed me in chinese chess so badly that it's embarassing, but he is so insanely good at it! (: We went out after bio and watched Quantum of Solace at Shaw, which kind of stank (Casino Royale was SO much better) and then played chess and wandered Orchard feeling lost and aimless and more than a little depressed.

The final exams scoreboard stands as follows:

Bio 3 - Ah, *that* felt more like a normal bio paper. Cambridge 2 Me 6

Bio 1 - Oh, what a happy paper! ^^ Finished it in half an hour, and that was with me doing it as slowly as possible. Cambridge 2 Me 7

Now to wait for the scores ):

It feels so strange to think to myself "now to ease back into normal life" when I realise soon after the thought that I'm never ever going back to what "normal" once was. Never going to have to go back to school in RG and RJ, never going to have to wear a uniform again (and I was so proud of the RJ uniform), never going to have to study things like this again. Having to find a new path because I've just reached the end of this one and don't know where to go next. I hate the feeling of undertainty.

"Freedom to and freedom from. Don't overrate it."

]]> ~SirithrosLirenel http://SirithrosLirenel.deviantart.com/journal/21511805/ http://SirithrosLirenel.deviantart.com/journal/21511805/ Sun, 16 Nov 2008 03:36:07 PST
As of last week, the exams scoreboard stands as follows:

Econs 1 - I don't know; I really don't know, and all I can say is that I'm happy to be rid of econs forevermore. I'll never touch that stuff again without a ten-foot pole. Not too sure which way this swings, so it's still Cambridge 2 me 4

Chem 1 - CAMBRIDGE, WHAT HAPPENED?! I swear it's some new protectionist measure to make us all score really badly so they have more places in the UK universities for locals xD Or, we're getting stupid, *or* this year is just plain screwed. BUT I finished the paper *smirk* Which is a big achievement for me. So Cambridge 2 Me 5

I also swear that once econs ended I've felt like it's over already. Yesterday I went to school with all intention to study bio with Grace and Yeremy. The intention didn't last very long.

PROM IS COMING! Yes, after we finally gave up pretending we were trying to study bio yesterday Grace and Yeremy and I went to Raffles City to look at accessories and pretty things. Yeremy is a stubborn obstinate thing because he insisted on carrying our stuff and he was coming down with something. If you read this and you're still sick tomorrow I will get very pissed with you if you come to school! Frivolous is BACK. I want to look at pretty dresses and accessories and think about how to do my hair and nails and... Gosh, what happened to me xD

Four days, 2 papers left. Sorry if I'm not replying to people or leaving messages and stuff; I'll catch up soon! (:

]]> ~SirithrosLirenel http://SirithrosLirenel.deviantart.com/journal/21415155/ http://SirithrosLirenel.deviantart.com/journal/21415155/ Mon, 10 Nov 2008 03:34:19 PST
It feels surreal and bizzare all at once, because I still can't really wrap my head around the idea that after two whole years of complaining, mugging, head-bashing, and endless tests and exams, the A's are finally here and half over. Somehow, I don't feel like I'm panicking enough, because it feels like "just another exam" right now.

The exams scoreboard...

GP - Could swing either way. I believe wholeheartedly in the bell curve. Cambridge 0 Me 0

Math 1 - Made me happy! (: Hands down. Cambridge 0 Me 1

Bio 2 - WTF?! Like after thirty-odd years of walkover bio papers, Cambridge finally decided to set a mass murderer. Came out of the paper feeling like I couldn't decide whether to laugh or to cry, so laughed about it. To quote Chaotong, "I went in there feeling like I was going to massacre the paper" - and the paper massacred us instead. It's almost like genocide. Cambridge 1 Me 1

Chem 3 - Ok paper. Cambridge 1 Me 2

Math 2 - Tralalalala (: *wide grin* Cambridge 1 Me 3!!!

AND. Tomorrow and the day after tomorrow are ECONS. My nemesis; all I have to do is slaughter econs and I *think* I'll be fine. It's like facing off with one's evil! archenemy.

It feels so strange to know that I've completed all the GP and Math papers already, and by Thursday I'll be done with Econs. I kind of miss math already. ):

Went to school today to do more econs with Grace and Shumin and Yeremy; somehow this morning we ended up playing a game of Chinese Chess instead because there was a chess set left at the astro tables. Grace and Shumin and bloodthirsty and kept telling me to just eat as many pieces as I could first xD I prefer minimal casualties! Not that it mattered in the end; the board got duly decimated. And it just adds to the feeling of surreality.

UPDATE 11 November:

Chem 2 - RAWR TRANSITION METALS. So much for "twenty percent inorg", TWENTY ONE MARKS OF COMPLETE STUPID, HELLO?! On the bright side, Cambridge 1 Me 4

Econs 2 - My GOD. MY GOD. What kind of questions were those?! For the sake of the Cambridge examiners and their possibly failing eyesight, I propose that the exam time be lengthened by at least half an hour as well, but that probably still wouldn't have helped with the kind of questions we got. I'm praying for 1. a favourable bell curve 2. a really happy examiner (quote Shumin: I hope he just had sex right before he marked my paper so he's really happy) or 3. an SSEF miracle. Cambridge 2 Me 4

]]> ~SirithrosLirenel http://SirithrosLirenel.deviantart.com/journal/21245544/ http://SirithrosLirenel.deviantart.com/journal/21245544/ Fri, 31 Oct 2008 09:04:16 PDT
I guess it's like Grace says; the A'levels are only going to come once so we might as well have fun doing them. I can't agree entirely but there's truth to it. We were mugging fine this morning, Shumin and I - doing a major crash course for the entire two years' worth of bio - until after lunch, and I don't even know where it began, but it suffices to say we got heavily, severely sidetracked by a hilarious conversation involving Lihsia, Shumin, Yeremy, myself, and the following things:

a) Derrick (*that* one)
b) Guys
c) Falling standards
d) Ettiquitte
e) Derrick
f) Shumin's future boyfriend
g) Shumin's future girlfriend
h) Lihsia's future boyfriend
i) Why we can't see Lihsia married but other people just seem to suit being married
j) Derrick
k) Why we should actually be doing work (but were not)
l) Gender equality (or lack thereof)
m) Does being gentlemanly = condescending?
n) How you should behave with your hypothetical boyfriend (or girlfriend) in public
o) Derrick

... basically it went on like that for quite some time. And! Ginseng brought muffins and the people from 3L who were in school had muffins. (:

And at least I got bio done xD Although something tells me that *should* have been the main point for today. Whoops.

]]> ~SirithrosLirenel http://SirithrosLirenel.deviantart.com/journal/21199067/ http://SirithrosLirenel.deviantart.com/journal/21199067/ Tue, 28 Oct 2008 09:09:15 PDT
OMG SEVEN DAYS. LESS. It's Tuesday. Help. Yesterday it was seven days, but seven days is so much more poetic than six, is it not?

Bah, I have a headache and managed to break a bowl while I was doing dinner ): So now the dinnerware set is incomplete and it makes me feel neurotic because the numbers of bowls and plates and dishes don't match up.

Can you believe we'll spend nearly a month doing exams? By the time our A'levels finish, it'll be December. And it'll be like "omg where did November go?!"

Actually, it's more like "where did all the time go?!" but that's nothing new. A couple of years later I'll still be saying that, and then a decade later, and probably all the way up to the point I don't exist to be able ponder my existence any more. I wonder if it's better to die knowing you're going to die, or not. Like if you get dementia and your thought processes just fade away. As opposed to facing a firing squad or something. Because if you go without knowing, I guess there's less of the element of fear of the unknown, but at the same time don't you want to know when you're going to go? So you can prepare? Well, as much preparation as can be done, anyway. Or like whether you want to die in your sleep one night, or just *know* when it's going to happen. Though I'm still not too sure "prepare who" - yourself, or those you leave behind? I've always wondered about Aragorn's (and all the Numeanorean kings' ability to choose when he wanted to go. To choose an exact moment to give it all up. Does it make one feel better, or worse? Would you rather "live fast, die young", and flame out in your prime, or age and fade away slowly?

]]> ~SirithrosLirenel http://SirithrosLirenel.deviantart.com/journal/21090030/ http://SirithrosLirenel.deviantart.com/journal/21090030/ Tue, 21 Oct 2008 05:02:30 PDT
I feel small and stupid. ): And I have to get back to mugging.

The To-Do List:
- US apps
- mug some more ):
- MFA internship form

]]> ~SirithrosLirenel http://SirithrosLirenel.deviantart.com/journal/20900558/ http://SirithrosLirenel.deviantart.com/journal/20900558/ Thu, 09 Oct 2008 04:53:08 PDT
Death by interview.

Oh, HELP. it's half-exhilarating, entirely scary, and makes me feel like the world's finally moving forward, like watching cogs turning and gears clanking into action.

Can you believe we're *this* close to the A's? Where did the rest of the year go?! What happened to "two years is a long time"?!! The past week has been intense but also strangely peaceful. No more major classes, just practice, practice, and more practice, and feeling like watching pieces of a puzzle fall into place. The picture is nearly complete.

Cameras are amazing things! And Lihsia is so amazingly photogenic that she's gone off the other end entirely and is coming back as unglam xD I want more photos of my time in RJ because it's ending, just like we all went a little snap-happy in sec four. It's all the little moments that mean so much; the laugh-yourself-silly, omigosh-what-happened moments, the bits of day to day life because nobody forgets to take pictures of Big Things, but the small memories build up one by one until you realise that *these* are what made your experience so happy to begin with. "Context is all", as Offred said.

"It shouldn't feel like this is ending."

]]> ~SirithrosLirenel http://SirithrosLirenel.deviantart.com/journal/20789032/ http://SirithrosLirenel.deviantart.com/journal/20789032/ Thu, 02 Oct 2008 07:11:12 PDT [link]

Come on, evil! insane! musical genius with a voice to (almost literally) die for, what has Raoul got against him? And I think Kris Phillips completely ousts Gerad Butler because he doesn't have to growl his lines and his voice is more powerful, but in a more controlled kind of way. <3 Oh, and this is forever going to be the voice ot Maglor I hear in my head. It doesn't help he kind of looks like my mental image of my lovely crazy elvish! musical genius.

... ok wait that's not quite fair. Raoul has looks. Cash. *sniggers* BUT. The Phantom is still an evil! insane! musical genius with a voice to die for.

Ignore me, I'm high and doing things I shouldn't be doing because uni apps are a pain in the posterior. (As I've said many times.) Term ends tomorrow, and I feel completely out of it and unmotivated to study.

Andrew Loyd Webber is also a musical genius.

]]> ~SirithrosLirenel http://SirithrosLirenel.deviantart.com/journal/20736655/ http://SirithrosLirenel.deviantart.com/journal/20736655/ Mon, 29 Sep 2008 06:51:23 PDT
BUT. US apps are WORSE. So much for calling it a “Common app”, because when every school asks for *another* supplementary form, how common does it get?! I love UCAS now. It was *that* much more straightforward, and there weren’t so many essays to write. ): And let’s face it, I don’t even really want to study in the US because it’ll mean taking the long way round to med school (and re-taking lots of tests once I get my qualification and return to Asia). Jobs! Recession woes and whatnot, and grade inflation so that half the world gets an A. So much for non-exclusivity, so much for anti-elitism, university admission is frighteningly selective. And yet I see the merits in such a system even when the selection pressure threatens to exclude me. Maybe it comes from having been (mostly) on the “right” side of the system almost all my school life. Now I’m not sure it was such a good thing, because I expect Things and expect them (relatively) easy.

Life sucks worse than a black hole. ): That’s my new catchphrase, because it’s so true. I would have said “life sucks more than a vacuum cleaner in space”, but if space is a vacuum, does a vacuum cleaner still suck, then? It’s like two negatives making a positive. I bet the vacuum cleaner just doesn’t work, because you can’t vacuum nothing… right? If I don’t make med school, I shall start a brand of vacuum cleaners called “Black Hole Brand”, and they will suck. A lot. Like my prelim results. *snigger*

Once the crystal chandelier, so glorious but precariously hung, too heavy for its hook, crashed into a million and more incandescent glittering pieces onto the floor below, there wasn’t much light left in the room apart from the pathetic glimmer of jagged shards and ground glass dust, crumbling and trod underfoot. For Dust thou art, and unto Dust thou shalt return, or something to that effect.

]]> ~SirithrosLirenel http://SirithrosLirenel.deviantart.com/journal/20630712/ http://SirithrosLirenel.deviantart.com/journal/20630712/ Tue, 23 Sep 2008 06:02:09 PDT
AND. University apps are such a bummer. Went shopping for nice sober interview clothes with my mum yesterday. I don't think nice and sober is really my kind of look; either that, or my mum's been watching so many crappy Korean dramas that they ruined her taste in clothes. Couldn't agree on anything, so we ended up at the Japanese supermarket at Shaw instead. Now food is something we can agree on (:

A backdated tag from

001. Real name → Diana
002. Nickname → It used to be D, now it’s more commonly Di
003. Status → quote: “Blissfully single” <-- hear hear!
004. Zodiac sign → Horse! <3
005. Male or female → take a wild guess *rolls eyes*
006. Elementary → CHIJ Saint Nicks from primary 1 to 3, then RGPS! <3 GEP is love. (I don’t mean to be elitist; I mean it in the way people say they loved their (whatever year) classes.)
007. Middle School → RGS! Our sec 4 year was the BEST. I still miss 413.
008. High School → Makes me susceptible to all the “Rafflesian pedigree” jokes, but I’m proud to be a Rafflesian anyway.
009. Smart → Not. End of story. Wish I was.
010. Hair color → Typical. Dark brown until it looks more black than brown. I think of it as black though, ‘cos the brown only shows up under really bright light.
011. Long or short → Just brushes the shoulders (it got cut recently)
012. Loud or Quiet → Quiet. Very much so.
013. Sweats or Jeans → Uh, neither? I like skirts and dresses a lot.
014. Phone or Camera → Once someone figures out a way to put a seven-megapix camera into a phone and still keep it all a reasonable size, I won’t face a dilemma over this question.
015. Health freak → I think I’m oil and grease-phobic. And a very picky eater. But that doesn’t mean I eat healthily xD Nor can I be anorexic, because I like food too much. And more exercise is always good. *guilty look* I am turd. ):
016. Drink or Smoke? – Occasionally, I drink. In small quantities. Because it’s a family thing. Smokers deserve to be hung, drawn, quartered, and otherwise dealt with severely. Especially if they smoke in public. Cigarettes are a demerit good, and smoking generates negative externalities!
017. Do you have a crush on someone? → Quote: “All the guys I have crushes on aren't real.” <-- I agree. Totally. xD
018. Eat or Drink → Drink, I believe. Starbucks is delightful.
019. Piercings → Just the usual. One pair in the normal place to get them. Not any more than that.
020. Tattoos → Ironically, though I wouldn’t get one because I have Issues about doing things to my body, I’d love to do them for people who want them because I think they’re an art in themselves.

FIRSTS:
023. First piercing → When I was seven. Then it got infected. I’ve pierced my ears thrice in the same place, but third time lucky! (:
024. First best friend → Elizabeth, from kindergarten.
025. First award → Some academic thing in primary one. How ironic. Then again most of us were like that before GEP.
026. First crush → Quoted again: “Someone with pointy ears who really likes books...” <-- *sniggers* How true… Well actually there were more than one. The other two… one was very, very musically inclined and more than a little mentally unstable. The other doesn’t need mentioning if you know me xD
027. First pet → I’ve had red-eared sliders in various numbers since… I forget when.
028. First big vacation → Singapore when I was five, to visit all the relatives who were moving over.
030. First big birthday → We’re not really big birthday people.

CURRENTLY:
049. Eating – I just had dinner.
050. Drinking → nothing, not right now.
052. I'm about to → pack up and plan my study schedule for tomorrow.
053. Listening to → My sister practicing Chinese orals outside (and my mum being exasperated)
054. Plans for today → Today is nearly over. Settle the rabbit, watch more! drama serials tonight, and not sleep till tomorrow morning.
55. Waiting for → School to start again so we can get our prelim results.

YOUR FUTURE:
058. Want kids? → Right now, no.
059. Want to get married? – Not really. Can’t say I’m for or against the idea.
060. Careers in mind – Medicine! And research. And I want to be an artist/illustrator too.

WHICH IS... ]]> ~SirithrosLirenel http://SirithrosLirenel.deviantart.com/journal/20516954/ http://SirithrosLirenel.deviantart.com/journal/20516954/ Tue, 16 Sep 2008 06:22:07 PDT
And what did the thief take? MY BIO NOTES.

Yes, my file. With its bio notes. Not Leanne's phone, not any of the cash; this enterprising person took my file while we were all off having the bio paper.

I cannot for any reason concieve of why anybody would steal notes from anyone else, but not only my bio notes have gone missing, Dawn and Charmaine apparently lost chem and econs notes yesterday, from the same place, at about the same time, while we were in exams. It's so bizzare it would be funny.

1. Why NOTES?! Evidently someone wanted good, neat, colourful notes to study with. But if this person is so concerned about his or her studies, why not do your own notes?!! Why take someone else's?!!!

2. What moral values. In school, no less. What is our education system teaching people?!

3. Do you not look at pages upon pages of someone else's notes and see sweat, blood, and many hours of wasted sleep and otherwise leisure time?! As a fellow student, do you not understand the EFFORT that goes into the notes? Or are you just looking for the easy way out, to save yourself some time? I hope you FAIL, whoever you are. Miserably. I hope my notes, and Dawn's, and Charmaine's, don't work for you. I hope you rot in hell, because my summaries mean a lot to me.

4. It wasn't just my bio notes in the file. I had, among other things, the many drafts of my personal statement (thank GOD I submitted my apps already!), my exams countdown and study schedule - which I spent SO much time on - my entry proof for the A'levels, so now I have to fork out another ten dollars to get a reprint from the office, and - to me the biggest travesty along with my personal summaries - A FOLDER OF DRAWINGS. I had a couple of works in progress in there, which I had hoped to work on after the prelims, as a de-stresser. My Red Cliff WIP was in there, and a lot of new sketches.

It could only happen in RJC, where thieves don't take phones, or cash, or music players. They take graphing calculators and notes. The only bright side is that there's only the MCQ papers left for the prelims, but HELLO the A'levels are after this?! How selfish do you have to get!!! If you wanted copies of my notes you could have just ASKED. I lend notes to people if they ask nicely. You didn't need to take them just like that.

I WANT MY FILE BACK.

]]> ~SirithrosLirenel http://SirithrosLirenel.deviantart.com/journal/20418643/ http://SirithrosLirenel.deviantart.com/journal/20418643/ Wed, 10 Sep 2008 07:04:19 PDT
My second revelation for today is that exams make me feel like Pacman. Like running around inside my head trying to chase down every single mark I can get my hands on and eating it and meanwhile the ghost follows in the form of the clock at the front of the hall. Einstein was SO right about relativity. There's never enough time for exams. Especially towards the end when you're so desperate you hop from question to question trying to "eat" as many marks as possible and trying to figure out which questions are worth the time and effort in relation to the marks. (Like that lousy vectors question. Not worth it at all. Hmph.)

GET YOUR ACT BACK TOGETHER. Seven papers to go, not counting the actual A'levels.

You know you want something really really badly when you have nightmares about not getting it. I need to stop dreaming about getting back five rejection letters from the universities I applied to, because the applications haven't even been submitted yet. And I'm also mortally afraid of getting a lousy reference because I don't think my CT likes me as much as I would like. I also need to FOCUS.

]]> ~SirithrosLirenel http://SirithrosLirenel.deviantart.com/journal/19891968/ http://SirithrosLirenel.deviantart.com/journal/19891968/ Mon, 11 Aug 2008 07:02:35 PDT
To all the retards who complain that China could only have gotten it so good because it’s a “Communist country”, go crawl back under your rocks where the sun doesn’t shine. Just because they had the manpower, budget, and discipline to pull it off is no reason for you to accuse them of being communist. China’s capitalizing so fast it’s going to be communist only in name before long; it’s probably just a case of sour grapes that no other host of the Olympics could pull off something like that…

It’s also very upsetting how people keep mixing up the Olympics with politics, although I guess it’s somewhat inevitable. Like all the articles (*cough* no offense meant, but most of them just *happen* to be western media) about how the opening ceremony was too militaristic or politically charged (was it?!! I must be pretty dense then, if I didn’t really catch that…. The only militaristic part was the flag march-in, and come on, that’s just their way of expressing respect for the national flag and nationalistic pride. Singapore did the same thing the next evening for national day, perhaps with an even more militaristic tone. Oh wait, I forgot, Singapore’s another example of a conformist, brainwashed, poor, oppressed society. *snorts* Let’s not even get started on the Tibet, North Korea, or Sudan/Darfur issues. But really, diplomacy shouldn’t just be about pointing your nukes at whoever pisses you off and going “Do what I say or else I nuke you”… right? For all China’s human rights record (admittedly not as good as it could be, but not exactly as bad as people make it out to be) you have to admit China is useful when it comes to keeping an open avenue for “soft” negotiations with “rogue nations” like North Korea. China’s come a long way; don’t say that the now developed, first-world western nations don’t have their own histories of human rights abuse, only further back in time. And so much for the great lofty ideals of tolerance and ethnocentrism and the acceptance of other viewpoints and ways of doing things. Things take time to change, so give China a chance and don’t rain on the coming-out party! ):

]]> ~SirithrosLirenel http://SirithrosLirenel.deviantart.com/journal/19784534/ http://SirithrosLirenel.deviantart.com/journal/19784534/ Tue, 05 Aug 2008 06:13:00 PDT
And. I have been tagged. By *tragic sigh* Self control? What self control?!

1. Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, and find line 4.
"...黄金，丝毫不比高山的屏障，大海的港湾逊色。诺尔多精灵从他那..."
*grumbles* Just my luck, what with my LoTR collection recently exiled to the shelf above my computer due to a lack of space in the bookcase. From the Chinese translation of the Silmarillion (the China version, not Taiwan), line taken from the Valaquenta, the part about Aule.

2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can.
Nooooo, more homework! Doing homework feels like fighting the Hydra - no sooner you cut off one head and five more grow back! ):

3. What is the last thing you watched on TV?
Korean drama on Saturday night xD

4. Without looking, guess what time it is:
Approaching nine - almost time for Air Crash Investigation on Nat Geo! <3 (*sigh* I should be studying. I really should.)

5. Now look at the clock. What is the actual time?
8.50 pm *smirk*

6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
My sister watching Hercules on the Disney channel outside.

7. When did you last step outside?
Today?! I had school!

8. Before you started this survey, what did you look at?
Math homework. Econs homework. Bio homework. Dinner.

9. What are you wearing?
A really really old united colours of benetton dress, pale blue with grey-white flower print, spag strap, getting rather short (I've had it since I was 11) and not really fit to see the light of day anymore xD

10. Did you dream last night?
No. Went to sleep so late I woke up late this morning feeling like I didn't sleep at all. My fault; I was reading *tries to look sheepish and fails*

11. When did you last laugh?
*sniggers* Telling Sneha about Leanne's hilarious noises over lunch today.

12. What is on the walls of the room you are in?
Paint. Many many bookcases. The clock. And shelves.

13. Seen anything weird lately?
Grace and Leanne xD

14. What do you think of this quiz?
Entropic, but I'm bored with work ):

15. What is the last film you saw?
Red Cliff! <3

16. If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy?
GDP is only proxy to but not an accurate indicator of standard of living because SOL consists of material and non-material well-being! I want books though, lots of them, and not to have to worry about funding my future education and my sister's, and to buy things that people I love really really want because it makes them happy (: But we should also save a lot because Singapore is right now perpetually near full employment, hence excessive consumer expenditure may lead to demand-pull inflation while saving creates more loanable funds for investment which is good for potential growth. I studied econs just now! *demented grin*

17. Tell me something about you that I don't know:
I'd addicted to crappy Hong Kong period dramas xD A surprising number of them.

18. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?
Do something about pollution and global warming... Like develop some efficient and clean energy resource. Or maybe something about human rights? Too many things to change! ):

19. Do you like to dance?
When noone's looking.

20. George Bush:
Is rather maligned. Ok so he's not the best at the job, but he's not the worst either... Even though the jokes can be rather amusing xD

21. Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?
Something elvishy (:

22. Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?
Ditto above!

23. Would you ever consider living abroad?
I'm always abroad in one sense or another. But I'd like to see more of the world! ^^

24. What do you want God to say to you when you reach the pearly gates?
... I have no idea. But I'd like to know at the end of my life that I lived it the best way I could have (doesn't everyone, really)

25. 4 people who must also do this meme:
http://SirithrosLirenel.deviantart.com/journal/19713311/ Fri, 01 Aug 2008 06:49:16 PDT
GAH so much for worrying about the A's; the whole "OMG we're going for grad night" thing kind of made us more than a little prematurely happy, but my guess is that this isn't going to last so I'll enjoy it while we can. It's so amusing to look back on my pre-RG-prom journal entries and laugh at how we seem to be worrying about the same "problems" again - hair, dresses, makeup (or the intention to go without it) and D-day plans. Including the after-prom because I get to stay out this year! ^^

And you realise that you've been in the fantasy realm too long and had one too many fictional obsessions when you find out that your idea of guys' formal wear consists of robes and circlets, and maybe a suitably magnificent sword/assorted related cutlery. I can't even tell the difference between a tux, dinner jacket, and blazer?! O.o Whoops.

]]> ~SirithrosLirenel http://SirithrosLirenel.deviantart.com/journal/19675941/ http://SirithrosLirenel.deviantart.com/journal/19675941/ Wed, 30 Jul 2008 07:53:20 PDT
“"Faithless is he that says farewell when the road darkens." said Gimli
"Maybe," said Elrond, "but let him not vow to walk in the dark, who has not seen the nightfall."
"Yet sworn word my strengthen a quaking heart." said Gimli
"Or break it." said Elrond.”

“It is wisdom to recognize necessity, when all other courses have been weighed, though as folly it may appear to those who cling to false hope. Well, let folly be our cloak, a veil before the eyes of the Enemy! For he is very wise, and weighs all things to a nicety in the scales of this malice. But the only measure that he knows is desire, desire for power; and so he judges all hearts. Into his heart the thought will not enter that any will refuse it.”
- Gandalf

“Do not trouble your hearts overmuch with thought of the road tonight. Maybe the paths that you each shall tread are already laid before your feet, though you do not see them.”
- Galadriel
^ My constant reminder to trust God even when I think He’s working in a rather strange way.

“Do not cast all hope away. Tomorrow is unkown. Rede oft is found at the rising of the Sun.”
- Legolas

“War must be, while we defend our lives against a destroyer who would devour all; but I do not love the bright sword for its sharpness, nor the arrow for its swiftness, nor the warrior for his glory. I love only that which they defend.”
- Faramir

“The wise speak only of what they know.”
- Gandalf

“It is useless to meet revenge with revenge: it will heal nothing.”
- Frodo
^ I really needed that. Because no matter how betrayed you feel, revenge is not worth the trouble. It is not worth the person you want to be.

“Many that live deserve death. And some that die deserve life. Can you give it to them? Then do not be too eager to deal out death in judgement. For even the very wise cannot see all ends.”
- Gandalf
^ Of particular meaning to me today. It’s funny how judgemental people can be when they’re telling you not to be judgemental. Which would have been quite amusing if not for the fact I was under quite some duress at the time. But when no two parties are entirely right or wrong, and one has to give way, just don’t expect me to do it with a smile and a curtsey. I know I’m not perfect, but nobody is. This shouldn’t really be an excuse, and I know I’m being petty and whatnot, but when you’re being told oh so righteously to consider the other point of view, don’t you sometimes feel like you want someone to consider yours?

I also <3 Sneha because she’s so understanding and accommodating of my rash, impetuous moods even when she has no reason to be, and so nice to rant to. And Grace and Leanne who are always there, and Hanlin who saved our entire table so we don’t have to crawl in utter misery to where the sun don’t shine come grad night. I’m also disgustingly tired right now, but there’s work to be done. Uni admissions are a pain in the posterior! ):

]]> ~SirithrosLirenel http://SirithrosLirenel.deviantart.com/journal/19655695/ http://SirithrosLirenel.deviantart.com/journal/19655695/ Tue, 29 Jul 2008 06:55:49 PDT
I still maintain vehmently that the whole ten-a-table thing is *not* the best way to run grad night because although a sit-down dinner is supposedly more posh, it's very unfair to the people whose social circles are usually smaller than ten (or larger) because then your whole grad night experience almost literally hinges on whether you can assemble ten nice people to sit with. What's worse is the fact that RJ classes are a lot more uneven than RG classes were, so almost all classes, taking in account everyone who's not going, will have spillovers who can't fill a table on their own.

It's also very annoying that we're trying to get a table together when other people are poaching the people who ALREADY said that they would join our table, and other people can never give conclusive answers because for goodness' sake if you can give us a definite no or yes just GIVE IT and don't deliberate because it's very hard to plan with so many maybes! It's very irritating to know that you're being strung up as the backup plan for people who are just waiting for that invitation to the more desirable table. And GOSH I'm really pissed right now, but I think that some people are being very selfish about it too, because it's like all they care about is getting their own table together, and as long as they fill their seats it's ok even if it means they're going to cause the dissolution of another table so that everyone else who was at that table can't go for grad night due to the retarded ten-a-table thing.

I don't even know why I should get so worked-up about it, but as much as I hate to say this my table has all us "fringe" people who wouldn't normally fit very well with our classes, so it's this group or nothing, and it's very unfair if we (and other people now facing similar situations) can't go for grad night just because our social circle isn't wide enough.

And this whole logistical nightmare is eating into my homework time, not to mention to elevation of cortisol levels!

Any more of this, and grad night can go stick itself where the sun doesn't shine.

]]> ~SirithrosLirenel http://SirithrosLirenel.deviantart.com/journal/19404000/ http://SirithrosLirenel.deviantart.com/journal/19404000/ Tue, 15 Jul 2008 06:15:04 PDT
IT DOESN'T WORK. I've been popping panadol the whole afternoon. *sulk*

But that's not the point. There are better things to bitch about. And here is what makes life so disgustingly sucky right now.

1. MY GRADES. They weren't kidding when they said CT2 was the killer CT, but thank GOD they don't really look at it for university applications because if it's anything to go by I'm destined for a small ulu liberal arts college (and I mean liberal arts in the bad, booze way, not the brilliant! and philosophical! and artsy sense) ): My heartfelt congratulations to those who did really well this time round; it was a tough CT. Yay for Sneha, who got second in class for GP! ^^ I owe Mr Neo an apology because my econs is the biggest tragedy since I found out that Middle Earth doesn't exist. ): I also owe myself a few more whacks over the head because I so totally screwed GP this time. It's disgusting when you know that you should be doing better, and that you *are* capable of better, but "just screwed it", because that shouldn't be an excuse.

2. Motivation. What motivation! I look at my homework list and it doesn't look like there's much to do now, but that's only because the school's winding up the syllabus and revision time is starting. It's like repeatedly thinking you can take a break before you suddenly realise that there's so much more to do because revision doesn't look like much on a homework list, but trust me, it hurts big time. As for discipline, it goes something like this: I want food. Brain needs glucose to think. NO! Food is fat! Nevermind, I want food anyway. ): Excuses about LDMR setting in are not valid; I haven't been working enough to begin with.

3. My head feels like it got bludgeoned by a cave troll with a blunt club. Or like my brain's suddenly decided it wants to expand in certain spots and my skull is unusually thick and unyielding. I also feel stupid, though this is probably a side-effect of the panadol. Oh, did I mention that I also feel a bit like a top? You know, those happy, spinn-y things... Other things hurt too, in varying degrees, but I'm in such a screwed-up mood I can probably invent more as I go along, therefore I should shut up about this right now.

4. I want to watch Red Cliff again. And Wall-e! The trailer looks SO cute. <3 Red Cliff brings back all these memories of older Three Kingdoms chinese dramas I used to follow obsessively and how Three Kingdoms was and still is the only one of the Four Great Chinese Classics which I actually like and I used to hero-worship Zhuge Liang 'cos he was so smart. (I probably still do, but then LoTR came along and eclipsed almost everything.) And my dad and my chinese tuition teacher used to tell all these stories from Three Kingdoms, like 孔明借东风 and the one I used to find completely hilarious; the one with the straw soldiers and the ships and the arrows - was it called 孔明借箭? BAH no more time for movies and such, though. Oh, and I want the Red Cliff soundtrack.

5. I don't know why I should be so tired. There's no reason to! ):

6. I'm wasting my time now. Why are there no good Red Cliff screencaps online?! But then again, this is probably a Sign that I shouldn't be drawing.

7. I don't care what Mrs Chong says about people typing mundane everyday things on their blogs instead of waxing brilliant and philosophical about current affairs and the meaning of life. I haven't waxed philosophical (or at least tried to) for a very long time. I don't care. I can wax philosophical after the exams. Because right now, as much as it pains me to say this, the meaning of life is STUDY STUDY STUDY. ):

8. I'm going on semi-hiatus from now. My internet time is limited to fifteen minutes a day to do essentials like check my email and school stuff. So forgive me if I don't post much/reply to things and so on. This is going public because it's that much more motivation to hold to my promise.

9. Back to work. NOW.

]]> ~SirithrosLirenel http://SirithrosLirenel.deviantart.com/journal/19367336/ http://SirithrosLirenel.deviantart.com/journal/19367336/ Sun, 13 Jul 2008 07:03:52 PDT
Ok, so I took the afternoon off. I persuaded my parents we really, really wanted to watch Red Cliff (well my dad didn’t need much persuading; he studied Chinese Lit in school and according to him Romance of the Three Kingdoms was a “read or die” text) so we caught it at cathay cineplex at Downtown East.

Red Cliff is like China’s answer to totally epic remakes of popular books, except where Harry Potter and LoTR are relatively recent, Romance of the Three Kingdoms is… ancient. We’re talking one of the world’s first ever novels here. And John Woo did a brilliant job of it, so far. (There’s still part 2 to go.) And I hate to say this, but up till the halfway point the movie’s been more faithful to the original books than any other epic! remake I’ve ever seen, LoTR included. And it’s probably the best of all the Three Kingdoms films I’ve watched so far. Zhuge liang is completely fangirl-able, though this is old news, and so is Zhou Yun, which is new news. xD Zhang Fei and Guan Yu (ahaha) both reminded me of taller, slightly (only slightly) less hairy Gimlis.

The battles were kind of Hollywood-ised though I don’t think it’s a bad thing. The blood and gore were awesome, as were the sweeping battle shots (computers are love). It’s amazing how many variations there can be on the theme of “how to kill lots of people at a go”. The scenery was lovely too! And there was some totally hilariously witty repartee (Zhuge Liang and Zhou Yu in the stables is a definite favourite moment), though what probably amazed me more was that I STILL UNDERSTAND MANDARIN! Look Ma, no subtitles! xD

I don’t exactly want to reminisce about the previous week. It’s been a sort of masochistic, sadistic emotional roller-coaster, the kind that comes complete with drops, turns, flips, and all sorts of discomfort-causing manouvres, and it’s also been altogether tiring. I don’t feel like keeping up with my study schedule anymore although it’s imperative I do so at this point in time, and my econs and GP are messes on the scale of the Twin Towers. ): (No disrespect meant, but they really are catastrophic in magnitude) It sounds overdone, overused, and oh so clichéd, but it’s getting really easy to abandon faith in humanity, even though doing so just makes you feel even worse than you originally did and it’s like you just cut yourself adrift when you were already losing direction to begin with, and then suddenly you’re floating alone with no idea what happened and where you’re going next. I’m suddenly and perhaps rather irrationally inordinately pissed with a number of people and pissed with myself over it and just plain confused over what happened to me over the past two years because I don’t even feel like myself anymore.

Leanne, I completely agree when you said it would be awesome to travel back in time and live in something like the medieval/renaissance era (minus the hygiene issues, though) because somehow things seemed so much simpler. Or at least there’s just a certain kind of people who seem more suited to that kind of life.

]]> ~SirithrosLirenel http://SirithrosLirenel.deviantart.com/journal/19248063/ http://SirithrosLirenel.deviantart.com/journal/19248063/ Mon, 07 Jul 2008 05:49:36 PDT
Went out with *counts fingers* Ally, Grace, Leanne, Ziluo, Benjamin, and Timothy today, at Raffles City. And celebrated Benjamin and Timothy’s impending birthdays at the Starbucks there. It’s wonderful to have Ally back, because then all the old patterns return and for a while when the gang’s together everything seems like it should be, like all’s right in the universe. And Grace, Leanne, Ally and I are completely CMI when it comes to being gay!!111! and camwhoring, because we, well, just can’t do it. xD

Anyway, major picture dump!

Ally: [link]
Timothy and Benjamin (and the brownie): [link]
The cake: [link]
Grace the Gay!!!111!!: [link]
Grace and Leanne being gay-er… : [link]
Ziluo says, “Do I know them? Noooo… I’m just going to sit here and hide…”: [link]
Picture of an unsuspecting Timothy and Benjamin in a rather compromising position: [link]
Timothy telling me to stop taking incriminating photos (not that he looks like he minds): [link]
“Not you too!” : [link]
Timothy resigned to his fate to appear in lots of bad photos: [link]
Ally laughing at him and the bad photos we take: [link]
A most campy picture: [link]
A sample of a really bad photo (my hand shook): [link]
Why we are such CMI cam whores: [link]
More Really Bad Photography: [link]
Finally! A decent-ish shot of Leanne: [link]
Ally being very happy and me not being too pleased: [link]
Did anyone ever tell you I hate hugs? Learn the fact!: [link]
These people don’t mind being gay though… : [link]
Awww, honey!: [link]
*sigh* : [link]
Starbucks!: [link]
How it all started – the original group minus Lihsia who couldn’t come out today: [link]

It's so funny to think of what would have happened if things didn't turn out the way they are now, but I'm always thankful they turned out the way they did. ^^

]]> ~SirithrosLirenel http://SirithrosLirenel.deviantart.com/journal/19213813/ http://SirithrosLirenel.deviantart.com/journal/19213813/ Sat, 05 Jul 2008 05:44:54 PDT
PSC scholarship and career fair was enlightening. I'm happy for Grace because she found out enough about law to make her very enamoured with the idea. But why don't they do med scholarships! ): The MOH scholarships tend to be for fields which most people wouldn't do since they're so specialised or narrow. And I never did like the idea of teaching very much. I'd kill the kids, for one. Maybe teaching at the university level would be good, though, because it would mean I'd never have to leave academia. Lifelong learning is a cliche, but it's an awesome one.

Aaand I can't wait for Monday because Ally is back and we're going out for ketchup xD But for now I'm not going to stick around longer now because RoTK is showing on TV <3

]]> ~SirithrosLirenel http://SirithrosLirenel.deviantart.com/journal/19197242/ http://SirithrosLirenel.deviantart.com/journal/19197242/ Fri, 04 Jul 2008 06:59:49 PDT
Last term Xiuhue (the absolutely brilliant mummy to the class!) had us do "the compliments thing" where you pass a piece of paper around and basically write messages and stuff (preferably positive xD) to your classmates. Anyway yesterday Xiuhue gave out the compilations (and I heard she stayed up 'till three plus in the morning doing them so... wow *kowtows*) and there are some things I need to say but I'm not sure how to do it.

1. Yes, I know I'm not close to the class. It's probably my own fault. (Where probability = 1) But I'm quite touched by some of the messages.

2. I feel a bit guilty because I'm probably consciously distancing myself or at least not making an effort to socialise, but people still found things to say. But hell, you know me, social skills of a plank of wood, and that's on a good day. I'm half-glad most people don't read this, because GOSH it's awkward and I'm still deliberating over whether I should delete this post soon, but I genuinely like 3L as a whole and I guess I really don't set out to be aloof or arrogant or anything like that. ><

3. Ginseng! If you do read this, I really, really appreciated the effort you put in for PW, and I still think you deserved an A, and I'm tremendously guilty you missed it. ): I hope you, uh, don't hate me. (Though you're well within your rights to.)

]]> ~SirithrosLirenel http://SirithrosLirenel.deviantart.com/journal/19178475/ http://SirithrosLirenel.deviantart.com/journal/19178475/ Thu, 03 Jul 2008 06:28:17 PDT <

Yesterday at mos we were trying to mug but Shumin started asking questions about God and stuff, so obviously we talked after that. Things like “How do you know what is the work of God”, and “How do you tell if this is God’s will or not”, like based on the premise that God works in subtle ways, then how do you know God didn’t allow plastic surgery to exist so we can make ourselves look better/ feel better about ourselves, and if euthanasia is against God’s word then what about life support, since if it’s your time to go, it’s your time to go just like you shouldn’t take your life if God doesn’t take it. Though I still disagree heartily with plastic surgery, because it seems more to me like it’s correcting the symptoms rather than the root cause, i.e. your own feelings of inadequacy. Like you can say how you hate your looks, and it’s taking a great piece out of your self-confidence, but this lack of self-confidence, I feel, actually stems more from you not being comfortable with yourself and feeling dissatisfied rather than your looks themselves. Therefore what you should be working on is the way you feel about yourself, and not the way you look.

But I digress. Anyway, we were talking and this lady who’s sitting at the booth behind us comes up and asks if she can add her two cents, which turned out pretty interesting because she knew what she was talking about, with regards to the Bible and stuff.

We’re getting back our CT results back next week. I’m not looking forward to it. C and below is nothing short of disaster, and even Bs are pushing it. I WANT STRAIGHT A’S. ): But I guess it’s like Grace said. You do what you can, and put in your best, and what’s left is really up to God, because with Him you can go further.

And I think I slacked off too much during the holidays. I used to be able to function on much less sleep ):

]]> ~SirithrosLirenel http://SirithrosLirenel.deviantart.com/journal/19099320/ http://SirithrosLirenel.deviantart.com/journal/19099320/ Sat, 28 Jun 2008 20:32:32 PDT
Also, I think the chem department switched question-setting teams with the math department, because the math paper was worse than usual and the chem surprisingly do-able. And the bio paper was weird! "What is the role of a genetic counsellor"? O.o I was at a complete loss and running out of time so I wrote something about telling people to use birth control. Obviously I should not be a genetic counsellor. xD Then the question about "What should the genetic counsellor tell (the person who is safe from the genetic disease)?" Heheh it was only afterwards we thought it would have been funny to write "Go forth and multiply".

Two Towers was on TV last night, so guess who spent the time planted in front of the telly again. ^^ But it was worth it. LoTR is always worth it. <3

]]> ~SirithrosLirenel http://SirithrosLirenel.deviantart.com/journal/18963419/ http://SirithrosLirenel.deviantart.com/journal/18963419/ Sat, 21 Jun 2008 08:36:17 PDT
… Wait, I’m not sure that makes sense.

I’m suffering from a balance of payments deficit of the brain. Imports > Exports. Things *should* be going in, after all, given all the staring-at-notes I’ve been doing. Whether they come out when I need them is another matter altogether. My mental faculties are like a benzene ring bonded to an electron-withdrawing group – deactivating! With a horrendously slow rate of reaction. And the probability of my making it good this time round (not that I actually did make it very good before) is slowly but surely slipping into the negatives, even though that’s technically impossible. Not on the real plane. Therefore the probability of my doing well this time is an imaginary number. ): You add complex numbers like vectors. They have magnitude and direction. I feel like the normal to the plane, i.e. going the wrong way entirely. This is also really ironic because I feel anything but normal.

They showed the first half of FoTR on channel five this evening. That meant 1.5 hours wasted, sitting in front of the telly watching something I’ve watched countless times already; but oh it’s the hallmark of totally brilliant storytelling that the magic never really wears off no matter how many times you watch it. Having recently watched Elizabeth: The Golden Age, and now FoTR, I have decided that Cate Blanchett’s voice is really… interesting. She really was an inspired choice for Galadriel, especially when you recall the line in the books about her voice being “lower than woman’s wont” and having that special quality to it. I don’t think I could ever really attach someone else’s voice to the character any more. And I love love LOVE the close-up face shots, especially the eyes. The new HD telly is awesome; I can’t really remember ever fully appreciating how delightful Aragorn’s/Viggo Mortenson’s eyes are. (Oh ignore me; I think I say this every time I see them again). There’s this one shot where they’re not really blue or green but that lovely shade in between, like aquamarine. <3 And my sister has finally joined the “OMG where is Glorfindel and why has Arwen stolen his horse?!” club xD Also, I don’t think I’ll ever tire of oogling the Rivendell shots. It’s so wonderfully true to the books and heartbreakingly beautiful, and if you ask me when I’m going to get off the imaginary plane and ground myself in the real world the answer is never. Tolkien was SO right when he proposed his thesis about fantasy being escapist in the “risoner in the tower” sense, not the “ostrich sticking its head in the sand” sense.

And to complete the utter waste of time, I had the laptop on my lap, re-reading old RPG threads. *sighs* I miss RPing. I miss the way I used to write, before Real Life stormed in and made me write things about acid dissociation and conjugate bases and Keynes and mathematical induction. Because if you asked me to write like this now, I don’t think I can still do it:


(All the Ever After people, remember this? *evil grin*)

All of a sudden he felt the muscles of the great black horse, previously so tense they were rock-hard, go limp, and then the animal’s front knees buckled. Horse and man went plunging headfirst to the ground, landing in the loam of the clearing floor with a heavy thud, sending dry dead leaves flying and accompanied by the loud cracks of brittle twigs snapping beneath the impact of their fall.

Sakhar had been prepared for retaliation like this the moment Diablo’s muscles had begun to relax, and he kept his firm grip on the rope as the beast faked a collapse. He did not release the knot once they hit the ground, instead putting in another slipknot to hold the first one in place and then padding softly round to the beautifully dished head. Rough fingers forced the horse’s eyelids open to reveal a baleful glare, gleaming volumes of menace and ill-intent, but the Haradrim merely chuckled softly and ran a calloused hand down the length of the head, getting a closer look at the flared nostrils stained a bloody red, the foam-flecked mouth held partially open against the bridle and the thick rope halter, the large, strong muscles evident in the cheeks, stopping to finger the bulging vein beneath the soft velvet fur on Diablo’s neck and asses the animal’s hammering pulse.

“Smart brute, aren’t you?” he... ]]> ~SirithrosLirenel http://SirithrosLirenel.deviantart.com/journal/18845097/ http://SirithrosLirenel.deviantart.com/journal/18845097/ Sat, 14 Jun 2008 21:02:07 PDT
But then again, what else is new?

One week to common tests.

Hong Kong was wet. And hot. And humid. And as always, it invovled a lot of food and relatives, which could be good or bad depending on my original mood. And shopping. Which is always good. Because we had to entertain my cousins we watched Prince Caspian again, except this time in Cantonese. I spent most of the movie trying really hard not to laugh. Still, you have to give disney credit for trying xD Or whoever it is that does the dubbing into other languages. Also, I'm still jet-lagged or at least trying to catch up on all the sleep I missed because there were so many relatives 1. there was always a fight for the bathroom at night and 2. you try sleeping with someone else snoring into your ear like some defective car engine! and 3. I don't like large concentrations of humanity, period.

But Grace! *whines* I like ketchup more than chilli sauce! Although the herbs and pepper sound good too (:

UPDATE:
I LOST MY PHONE. Really pissed with myself right now; don't try to contact me through handphone. I can still be reached through email/msn/home phone, and my line probably won't be back up 'till sometime mid-next-week. ):

]]> ~SirithrosLirenel http://SirithrosLirenel.deviantart.com/journal/18743066/ http://SirithrosLirenel.deviantart.com/journal/18743066/ Mon, 09 Jun 2008 06:35:33 PDT
Nice things:

1. The horses. <3 I think I spent more time oogling the horses than my mum did saying Ben Barnes (?)/Caspian was good-looking. Like that gorgeous friesian Caspian was riding in the opening sequence and then Susan and Lucy were riding later. And Miraz's grey andalusian-type animal? <3

2. The locations were beautiful. All the mountains and forest and glacial rivers so clear you can see to the bottom... Especially the Lucy-finds-Aslan sequence; the lighting was lovely.

3. The costumes! Except why does only Susan appear to have changes of clothes? Just about everyone else wears the same thing all the way through... Love the girls' dresses, though, especially the ones they had right after they got back to Narnia? The split-skirt ones with the long skorts underneath the top layer. The design is interesting. And the swords, even if they were kind of theatrical. And the runes on Peter's big sword are a complete LoTR ripoff.

4. Fine, Caspian wasn't bad looking.

5. Their digital effects have improved! ^^

6. The music!

7. Lucy is SO cute.

Bad things:

1. Capsian/Susan. Enough said.

----------------------------

On the more serious front, my study schedule is a mess. ): Being on holiday is not conducive to studying.

]]> ~SirithrosLirenel http://SirithrosLirenel.deviantart.com/journal/18639651/ http://SirithrosLirenel.deviantart.com/journal/18639651/ Tue, 03 Jun 2008 05:59:32 PDT
Because as much as I hate to admit it, I never could convince myself that math is more fun than a good fantasy book and drawing.

]]> ~SirithrosLirenel http://SirithrosLirenel.deviantart.com/journal/18555713/ http://SirithrosLirenel.deviantart.com/journal/18555713/ Thu, 29 May 2008 06:53:29 PDT
Band concert was on Monday. The second half was kind of nicer than the first half, but that was probably only because when the band struck up with "the ants come marching" I had to try really hard not to laugh. I don't think the tune's actually called "the ants come marching" xD but that's what I've always known it as... Also, I think a lot of people in our school have to learn Situational Awareness. Such as the fact that you do NOT whoop and cheer for your friends when they are performing in The major concert hall in the country, no matter how much you love them. Because it's a complete breach of decorum and shows no respect for the setting and situation, let alone your friend, and worst, reflects very badly on the school because it implies that the school has not managed to impart basic etiquitte to its students. Yes ok, so maybe it's a school concert, but if your friend were to perform in something like Phantom of the Opera on Broadway? Do you then go to watch your friend and yell in the middle of a crowded theatre "Go so-and-so!" or "We love you so-and-so!"? No. Also, bermudas and sports shoes or sneakers are NOT considered proper attire for such a setting. It's not so much being fussy as it is etiquitte! If there's no dress code for anything, you might as well spend your days in, oh, your nightie or something like that. Or just plain shabby clothes. *sighs* But I think guys look better in shirts. Really. Though that is beside the point.

I was very unceremoniously stood up by Leanne yesterday morning, when we were supposed to go swimming but she slept in 'till twelve. And didn't reply to *all* my messages and calls.

PSC psychometric assessment this morning, which was a disaster. It was like the GEP entrance exam, except if this were the GEP entrance test I wouldn't get in. I have to stop being paranoid and checking my answers so much. It wastes time. Then went mugging with Grace and Kinonn and Leanne.

It's amazing how easy it is to be so so SO pissed with a person yet act as if nothing's gone wrong.

]]> ~SirithrosLirenel http://SirithrosLirenel.deviantart.com/journal/18458170/ http://SirithrosLirenel.deviantart.com/journal/18458170/ Fri, 23 May 2008 05:24:25 PDT
2. Whatever my parents might say, my social skills *have* improved somewhat these past few years. In the diplomatic sense. As in, the "smile and laugh with the same person you feel like strangling right now, painfully, even as you're seething inside with all sorts of things you'd much rather be saying and doing to said person" kind of way. It's such a joke when people say I'm aggressive, because there are so many more things I could do, and want to do, but don't for the sake of I-don't-really-know-what. And the worst that actually happens is me turning around and bitching to the usual suspects; you know who you are, and I <3 you all lots for it. I'm turning into such a (not so) closet female dog. ): And I'm probably worse to my friends than I am to the people who I really should be taking it out on, but I hope you all know I appreciate being able to throw things at people (within limits xD).

3. Shumin, is anything the matter? ): You can tell me, you know...

4. Shumin's lj is very interesting to read. Just so you know. And it's really good to be able to debate with someone with views so unlike mine, because you make me challenge my own stands and think about what I think about. I like the way all of us can talk about Issues and Things That Matter, and the way we don't see it as imperative that everyone adopt the same stand, because it can be so irritating when people think that their views are the only legitimate ones and think it makes you lacking or flawed in some way if you don't see eye to eye with them.

5. Lunch today was fun ^^ We made an impromptou decision to bring Sneha to Wanchai tea house in J8 after school today to try new food and the food was good. I <3 Shumin and Sneha to little bits because I don't think I could survive class without them.

6. I feel guilty sometimes because Shumin says I see her as second to Grace. This is not true. ): Really! But I think maybe the relationships themselves are different? A little, anyway... I don't know how to put it. ): But to choose between one or the other is like asking me whether I like the arts or sciences more, because each is unique and special to me in their own way and both together make for a more well-rounded world view.

7. Frivolous is good. Once in a while, anyway. Frivolous with Grace is even better because she's more of a fruitcake than I am when it comes to choosing clothes. ^^

8. I AM REALLY TRAUMATISED BY TAMORA PIERCE'S "WILL OF THE EMPRESS". The book that comes after the first two "Circle of Magic" series; after Briar and Tris and Daja come back from their wanderings. I wasn't *quite* so taken aback by Daja being lesbian than the little hints here and there that *Lark and Rosethorn* were an item (they always seemed so asexual -.-) So I looked it up. According to the Tamora Pierce Wikipedia, Lark is "gay and polyamorous" while Rosethorn is "bisexual and polyamorous" and (this takes the cake) had sexual relations with *Crane*. O.o And I don't really like the way Briar turned out as a young adult, though it's probably a rather accurate portrayal. He just reminds me too much of parts of certain people which annoy me a lot.

9. The not-quite-holidays are finally here. Thank goodness. School takes a lot out of you.

10. S_R_P turned out kind of worth it, after all. ^^ I <3 Grace and Chaotong.

11. Reminder to self: YOUR BREAK ENDS TOMORROW. SLOTH IS A SIN.

12. While I'm still allowed to be frivolous, I'm annoyed because I don't know what to wear to Band Concert on Monday. ):

13. Second note to self: YOU'RE BEING AS SELF-CENTRED AS A GYROSCOPE THESE DAYS. I will care more about the people who Matter. ):

]]> ~SirithrosLirenel http://SirithrosLirenel.deviantart.com/journal/18316096/ http://SirithrosLirenel.deviantart.com/journal/18316096/ Wed, 14 May 2008 06:11:45 PDT
Although that's probably an affront to a perfectly nice, intelligent animal.

I AM UNINSPIRED, APATHETIC, and UNCONCERNED, which actually concerns me a lot, although I would much much rather I be concerned about my studies rather than being concerned that I'm unconcerned... Pffft.

It's a feeling of impending doom, like watching the first few pebbles b-o-u-n-c-e slowly down a scree slope and somewhere in there a little maniac voice is jumping up and down yelling FLY YOU FOOL and you're still standing there going "Ooh. Stone. Stone is falling. Look, the mountain is falling. Oh dear, I know there's something I should be doing... starts with r... Ah yes, run! But I don't feel like running. If I ran, would I be fast enough? I don't think so. But I should be trying, right? Hmmm I'm tired, I don't feel like ru-"

... Whoopsies.

The bigger picture is elusive, but I worry that if I lose sight of the here and now I'll never have the luxury of appreciating the bigger picture in the future. It's almost like knowing that the sky is blue but never having seen the blue for yourself because you're always bent over some minutae in the dirt, and every time someone or something reminds you that there's a blue sky up there you go "I'll look later; there's things to be done down here in the dirt." Not a very sound analogy, of course, because I'm not so much grubbing about in the dirt; rather I'm sitting there with a childish pout on my face glaring at it and not doing anything at all but complain that there's still so much to be done, while the sky above fills with drifting clouds to mark the passage of time.

--------------------

Is there anyone that fails
Is there anyone that falls
Am I the only one in church today feelin' so small

Cause when I take a look around
Everybody seems so strong
I know they'll soon discover
That I don't belong

So I tuck it all away, like everything's okay
If I make them all believe it, maybe I'll believe it too
So with a painted grin, I play the part again
So everyone will see me the way that I see them

Are we happy plastic people
Under shiny plastic steeples
With walls around our weakness
And smiles to hide our pain
But if the invitation's open
To every heart that has been broken
Maybe then we close the curtain
On our stained glass masquerade

Is there anyone who's been there
Are there any hands to raise
Am I the only one who's traded
In the altar for a stage

The performance is convincing
And we know every line by heart
Only when no one is watching
Can we really fall apart

But would it set me free
If I dared to let you see
The truth behind the person
That you imagine me to be

Would your arms be open
Or would you walk away
Would the love of Jesus
Be enough to make you stay

Are we happy plastic people
Under shiny plastic steeples
With walls around our weakness
And smiles to hide our pain
But if the invitation's open
To every heart that has been broken
Maybe then we close the curtain
On our stained glass masquerade

]]> ~SirithrosLirenel http://SirithrosLirenel.deviantart.com/journal/18222457/ http://SirithrosLirenel.deviantart.com/journal/18222457/ Thu, 08 May 2008 06:05:54 PDT
Thank you all my darlings, for yesterday and today, and for all the other days besides that I've had the (sometimes dubious!) honour of being your friend. And thank you Dawn and Charmaine for the sparkly! dangly! earrings, and everyone who wished me a happy birthday, including (those I can remember so far apart from the Usual Crowd) Prasatt, Timothy, Joshua and Xiuhue. And of course 3L in general. ^^

In no particular order; Grace, Leanne, Lihsia, Shumin, Sneha, (*dubious look here*) Benjamin, Yeremy... What more to say? Mos is becoming a place of such memories, is it not? I thought you'd wound me up last year, but nooo I think we've got such a competitive streak we keep trying to outdo previous birthdays within the lot of us xD

Ally made my day too! <3

I FEEL OLD. And I can now drink and drive (though I guess not at the same time). Which, however, still doesn't excuse me from homework. >< Especially undone and backlogged work.

... the mood icon is retarded, I say! Retarded!!! ):

On a more serious and sadder note, please spare some thoughts and prayers for who just lost her cousin ):

]]> ~SirithrosLirenel http://SirithrosLirenel.deviantart.com/journal/18176108/ http://SirithrosLirenel.deviantart.com/journal/18176108/ Mon, 05 May 2008 06:32:42 PDT grammar questions that the right thing started to look wrong. :/ And the writing section was *staked*, which is like screwed, but bigger, but then again that was only to be expected. H3 bio today could have been worse (for example, I could’ve been unable to do a single question) so I’m *hoping* I did better than I originally set out to do. Also, I no longer need to find out who hid the Hidden Markov Models and where he/she/it/they hid them because I don’t need them anymore and didn’t need them during the paper.

I NEED TO CATCH UP WITH H2 STUFF.

Also, there’s a prodigious backlog of work and non-work from my self-imposed isolation in preparation for the exams. I need to reply to a lot of messages so if I left you hanging for a reply today I’ll try my best to get around to it within the week! ^^

“Finding a replacement with a heart sedated, I’ll forget you.”
Trivial little things annoy me, but it’s ok for now. Trivial little things are not worth getting worked up over. Trivial little irritating people Do Not Figure.

]]> ~SirithrosLirenel http://SirithrosLirenel.deviantart.com/journal/17971155/ http://SirithrosLirenel.deviantart.com/journal/17971155/ Tue, 22 Apr 2008 06:04:30 PDT < Anyway, thanks to everyone who contributed to the count! ^^ Especially people like Sav and Otter who've been there from the start, and all my watchers <3

-------------------------------------

Speaking of Real Life. I have recently rediscovered the piano. Because Mrs Chong didn’t turn up for GP last Tuesday and somehow a lot of the class ended up in LT3 doing things to the piano (and doing Unmentionable things to poor Kialiang, which should stay unmentioned). It’s quite ironic; the people who stop piano early or who have never learnt to play the piano are now the ones who want to play, while all us jaded “old hands” who’ve been playing since we were four or something like that are decidedly less than keen. Familiarity breeds contempt, though I suspect it also has a lot to do with the exams factor. I never really liked exam pieces; I didn’t like the tunes most of the time, and even if I did, practicing them again and again for nearly a year does a lot to kill one’s affection. Shumin’s right in a way, that you should ideally learn piano to play nice things which people around you can appreciate, rather than to pass exams. It makes me a little zi bei sometimes, that I’ve gotten my grade 8 and all but am totally reliant on scores because I’m hopeless at playing by ear (no perfect pitch, I’m afraid, and less talent) while Timothy stopped taking exams at grade 5 and… there’s no other way to put it, he’s pro. I will sniff and make disparaging remarks about musical geniuses and attempt to console myself that I’m a terribly visual person rather than auditory. >< Angles are good; being round is way overrated. xD

My sister is entering tortured pianist phase, after realizing that art doesn’t really work out for her. (I *told* my parents I was a genetic aberration, and it was all their fault, but did they listen? Noooo… But then again, they’re not exactly musical either.) She likes sonatinas, because we have a Big Book of them, and the first half at least is relatively easy. On the other hand, I find myself detesting Clementi more and more because half the accursed sonatinas in the first part of the book are by him and they’re ALL (no kidding) so cheerfully CHIRPY. *shudder* As are Mozart’s pieces. And Beethoven was the original emo. There are a lot of tortured pianists in the neighbouring blocks; I’ve managed to classify them into roughly two types – the Classical Tortured Pianists, who play Beethoven and the Romantic pianists with such passion it seems like nuclear Armageddon is descending tomorrow, and the Chinese Pop pianists, who play (surprise, surprise!) Jay Chou and Guang Liang (Tong Hua, in particular) and sound like they’re being dumped by a successive string of girlfriends (well maybe if some of them actually *tuned* their pianos, you know…. Occasionally (or not so occasionally) they turn their probably clawed, scarred hands to Evanescence (how many times can a person hear “Bring Me to Life” and “My Immortal” before contemplating thoughts of cutting? By that, I don’t mean cutting myself. I meant throats. Someone else’s throats.) and Five for Fighting (which I think is a complete affront to a really good band). AND PACHABEL. Have I even mentioned how many times I’ve had to endure stirring renditions of Canon in D in a variety of fluencies, tempos, and other such variations?! Not only that, Canon in C (from the Korean drama My Sassy Girl) is another culprit in the road to severe brain damage. Some days I get so annoyed, Variations on Canon – that lovely thirteen-page-long affair by David Lanz (?) – makes a wonderful comeback, played at full volume with the window next to the piano open. It’s pleasantly brainless, because my fingers still remember how to do it even if my head doesn’t. (This happens a lot, and its occurrence has a direct correlation to the volume of stuff on my mind.)

I think I'm just posting because I don't want to start work. Help. DISCIPLINE! WHY DO YOU DESERT ME?!!

Leanne, I completely agree! I miss it being just Us, as in the three? of us, plus Ally when she's here. I don't even know why I should be getting so irritated with That Issue, because it sounds so trivial, but nonetheless it's been on my mind a lot recently. And of course I feel like a filthy hypocrite at times. When does standing up for oneself stop and becoming a "bra-burning feminist" begin? (And why would they want to burn bras in the first place -.-") Or is this such a testosterone-innundated world that the two are equivalent across a gradient? ... I don't even know how to phr... ]]> ~SirithrosLirenel http://SirithrosLirenel.deviantart.com/journal/17954665/ http://SirithrosLirenel.deviantart.com/journal/17954665/ Mon, 21 Apr 2008 06:52:26 PDT If you know, you know. If you don’t know… too bad! xP

2) Male/Female?
Female. -.-“

3) Were you named after anyone?
No. My grandmother chose it because she said it was an easy-to-remember name. (She didn’t speak English.)

4) Does your name mean anything?
*looks it up* Heavenly and divine? …Who are you kidding?!

5) Nickname(s)?
D, Di, various spinoffs.

6) What do you think you look like?
Grace and co. alternately say I look like a cat and then a rabbit, my parents say I’m spotty, and noone has thought to say that I look like me. *sigh*

7) Date of birth?
May 8.

8) Place of birth and current location?
Current location, Singapore. Planted on my computer chair in front of the computer. Place of birth = not Singapore.

9) Nationality?
More than one. ^^

10) Astrology sign?
Not sure. Taurus, I think.

11) Chinese astrology sign?
Horse! <3

12) Religion?
Roman Catholic

13) What's your favorite smell?
Various floral scents. Freesia, lavender, rose, forget me not, wisteria, the “China Blue” blend from Marks and Spencer… Other things include horses (yes they smell nice!), dried hay, new books, and ink and paint.

14) Political position?
What political position? Disillusioned?

15) What do you prefer to drink in the morning?
Nothing!

16) Hair + eye color?
Both brown to the point of being black.

17) Do you look like anyone famous?
I look like me. Me = not famous. Apply logic here.

18) What do you look like?
Do I get points for spotting a repeat question?

19) Any unusual talents?
I’m not too sure about “unusual”. xP

20) Righty, lefty, or ambidextrous?
Right. Ambidexterity in training.

21) Gay, straight, bi, or other?
Straight :/ What were you expecting me to say?!

22) What do you do for a living?
Study! Well they say being a student’s an occupation… Help my parents. And do the chores.

23) What do you do for fun?
Read, draw, do more homework, play piano/violin, talk with People, do silly embarrassing things with aforementioned People/ watch them do silly things (and laugh).

24) Materials to work with?
Pencils all the way! Occasionally calligraphy pen, dip pen, quills, gouache paints.

25) What kind of materials would you like to work with?
Every medium imaginable. ^^ (I wish!)

26) Have you met your grandparents?
Not recently.

27) Boyfriend/Girlfriend?
No thanks.

28) Crush?
*coughs* Thankfully doesn’t exist. Not on the Real plane.

29) What celebrity would you date if you could?
None? Wouldn’t you date a person because of who he/she was, and not because he/she is a celebrity?

30) Current worries?
School. Homework. Not doing homework.

31) Favorite online guy/girl(s)?
Online? Savvy and Almeruve! <3

32 and 33 don’t exist!

34) Do you burn or tan?
A mixture of both.

35) Ever break a bone?
Not a clean break. It was a crack.

36) What is your favorite cereal?
Don’t like cereal.

37) Person you cry with?
I don’t cry.

38) Any sisters?
One.

39) Any Brothers?
Thankfully no.

40) Any pets?
Rabbit! <3

41) An illness?
Mental? xD No.

42) A pager?
What pager? You still use pagers?!

43) A personal phone line?
Is that your handphone number? … *is confused*

44) A cell phone?
Yes.

45) A visible birthmark?
Nothing noticeable.

46) A pool or hot tub?
Pool! Big! And deep!

47) A car?
Nah, horse!

48) Personality?
No idea. I confuse myself at times. Mostly prickly and mugger. (If being mugger is part of one’s personality.)

49) Driving?
This year, I get to do it *legally*. xD

50) Your clothing style?
Skirts, lots of them! And dresses and flip flops (preferably beaded ^^) and earrings, the danglier and sparklier the better! xD

51) Room?
What room? I see bookshelves, and files, and paper… Funny, I don’t remember the wall being here…

52) What’s missing?
My grades. Motivation. Discipline. And world peace, because that’s never going to happen.

53) School?
Last year of JC. Where did all the time go?!

54) Bed?
Uh… *dubious look* I can think of many ways to interpret this question, and many of them are Not Nice. Really, what are you expecting me to say, I sleep on the couch?!

55) Relationship with your parents?
Fine.

56) Do you believe in yourself?
I don’t think so…
~SirithrosLirenel http://SirithrosLirenel.deviantart.com/journal/17790880/ http://SirithrosLirenel.deviantart.com/journal/17790880/ Fri, 11 Apr 2008 06:05:53 PDT
How do I even face you, and *you* again?

Currently f-ed up enough to use the expression "f-ed up". These days I'm getting more and more painfully aware of what a presumptious, self-centered *thing* I am; if only I could rewind and start all over again.

And all the while, it's worse to know that "I'm sorry" just isn't going to cut it and that I can't do anything else.

]]> ~SirithrosLirenel http://SirithrosLirenel.deviantart.com/journal/17743195/ http://SirithrosLirenel.deviantart.com/journal/17743195/ Tue, 08 Apr 2008 06:09:45 PDT
Murphy was SO right. Or I’m just getting complacent. Or stupider. Or both.

I’d like to think I tried my best. I feel like it, because H3 week was a near-catastrophe and I had to prioritise. Hence I went and did chem and math and econs and left only sporadic gaps for bio. I *thought* the paper was “too easy”. It was that unsettling feeling of having left something out – the semi- bliss of not-quite-ignorance, when you know so little you think you knew it all (most of it, anyway) and then it comes back and you realize there was so much you’d forgotten. Forgotten in the moment of the exam, or forgotten to study. It doesn’t matter, because you screwed it up anyway. I never seem to be able to get all my papers right at the same time, and I’m also really good at making excuses afterwards. Definitely made the dunce list for GP this time, and I’ve never felt worse to be proved right. It feels like I’ve let a lot of people down.

It’s just me and my thoughts and the windblown crags halfway up the rock face, teased mercilessly by soaring eagles, beautiful and airborne and enviable, and the dull ache of the scapula where the wings should have been; intangible and insubstantial as dust-motes in the sun, longing to exist, let alone unfurl. Stereotypically five feet from the edge, because five alliterates and there isn’t a small enough number starting with m so it can’t be metres, on a precarious prepice littered with the debris of Icarus and Daedalus – battered, yellowing feathers tinted with wax burns from their brush with the furious glory of the sun. All the inspirational quotes about aiming for the stars is bull, because each star is a sun in its own right, temptation and warning for the Icaruses and Daedaluses in a multitude of universes. And as Glorfindel leapt for the balrog he took it down with him in a blaze of terrifying finality, and the eagles retrieved his mangled form, charred beyond recognition, from the sharp rocks below. Reincarnation isn’t all it’s cracked up to be; redemption comes ever harder.

The glass unicorn wasn’t meant to be manhandled like that. Similar to yet always distant from the rest of the silicon dioxide menagerie, iridescent and subtly rainbow-hued only under bright light, but only ever under the light, and if you looked hard enough. With the horn shattered into shining dust on the floor it was just another, very easily overlooked glass horse, simple in design and perhaps a little misshapen, a little distorted.

]]> ~SirithrosLirenel http://SirithrosLirenel.deviantart.com/journal/17521946/ http://SirithrosLirenel.deviantart.com/journal/17521946/ Wed, 26 Mar 2008 08:22:42 PDT Tell us an old tale we know
Tell of adventures strange and rare
Never to change, ever to share
Stories we tell will cast their spell
Now and for always”

Days like today remind me of what I hold nearest and dearest in my life. Talking is cathartic, even more so when it’s talking like we haven’t talked in simply ages. It felt almost like old times again, when it was just us and our thoughts and the ease of familiarity, when the words and ideas flowed fast, thick, and free, forming and shaping themselves in a most dynamic way. It’s good to have your opinions affirmed, but just as good to rethink and reshape them and challenge yourself mentally. I miss the way English and Lit and Social Studies were more about opinions and stands and sticky issues rather than just content knowledge. You need to know things, yes, but what good is merely *knowing* without understanding the assumptions and implications and how to carry your own argument coherently, to think your own thoughts in a rational, thorough manner? Sometimes it feels like GP is here to teach us *what* to think, not *how*. But then again, we don’t have the luxury of time here do we? A’levels in, what, seven months? Give or take.

These days I worry life is going so well (relatively speaking) that it could all go downhill any second. Today’s pet peeves are perhaps rather insignificant by comparison, but still… Let’s face it. I like to whine xD *sheepish look*

I got a little icked when they tried to use LoTR (and Aragorn in particular) during assembly to teach “leadership”. It reminded me of sec 3, with RG’s mad “Thinker LEADER pioneer” thing in full swing and the whole “leadership practices” bull. The one where they used Aragorn again (poor thing) to explain “qualities of a good leader”, and Ms Kum looked like she really, really regretted the choice of topic after I’d nitpicked the worksheet from top to bottom (and wasn’t very quiet about it, I admit). For one, they didn’t even spell “Aragorn” right. Nor “Elrond”. Or “Boromir”, for that matter. Hello if you use LoTR at least make sure you know the subject matter. For two, they didn’t get his history right, and I had Issues with the whole “motivations of a leader” issue because well it’s highly open to debate (it has all the potential of the “should Aragorn have ended up with Eowyn” debate or even the “do balrogs have wings?” thing, IMHO) and I didn’t like the way the worksheet put it. For three, let’s just say I was a lot more rabid then. *Especially* with regards to a certain scruffy Dunedain. (My tastes haven’t changed much, just my self control.)

Besides, Tolkien created Aragorn to be the archetypal hero figure, an amalgamation of all the qualities of the traditional hero of folklore. Not the best role model, perhaps… Maybe someone a little more down to earth would be more realistic? I was really, really annoyed that the video took things right out of context, using the lit analyses of Aragorn and Braveheart and various other fictional heroes to showcase “good leadership strategies”. There’s a difference between “leader” and “hero”. Nobody real is perfect, and sometimes it seems as if the qualities of a hero are incompatible with modern society’s preferred mode of leadership. Heroes “go into dark places to fight demons alone”; Aragorn always seemed to be a highly individualistic type of character. I see him as rather removed from the people of Gondor, maybe by legacy of his Elvish connection and whatnot, but from the books, it seemed like he could lead because he was lofty and awe-inspiring, the stuff legends are made of, instead of leading by gritty down-to-earth fraternity. Boromir comes closer to the kind of leader people seem to prefer now, down and dirty and very much “one of the boys”. Context is all. And I needed to get this off me because if I say it in school people will just give me funny looks. (Ah, but this is the kind of thing that could make LoTR fans debate “until their keyboards explode” xD. While we’re at it, let’s drop another bombshell I’ve been hatching for a while now – how do you explain Elrond and Elros’ “strange” affection for Maglor, considering all he and the other sons of Feanor did to their family and how they were technically captives of Maglor and Maedhros? I propose Stockholm Syndrome.)

Other trivial little things… Sometimes I think people can be so blind?! I can’t really get properly irritated about this because I may be just as guilty, but oh this has been sitting on my mind for *quite* some time now; whether people see things about other people I don’t see, or if I see/know things they don’t, whether this is actually important, or whether people are just so shallow and appearance-oriented, or maybe we’re talking drastically different values systems here so I’m not even qualified to comment. Othe... ]]> ~SirithrosLirenel http://SirithrosLirenel.deviantart.com/journal/17487660/ http://SirithrosLirenel.deviantart.com/journal/17487660/ Mon, 24 Mar 2008 07:07:40 PDT
Can you consciously make yourself more mature? To think and behave the way people commonly perceive mature people to think and act? But then again, how do you even define maturity? To me, maturity has always carried with it the connotations of being worldly-wise, perhaps slightly jaded, maybe because one has to have seen a lot of the world to be mature…? And then again, even if one has seen and been through a lot, it still doesn’t make one mature, because that’s partially to do with the way you respond to it too. Although, I guess, it does help. On the other hand, if you’re in touch with your “inner child”, as many people profess to be, are you more or less mature? Less mature in the way children are less mature, or more mature in that you’ve seen just as much as your more cynical counterparts, but you prefer to deal with it differently? To be in touch with yourself, maybe?

Spontaneous, you say. Spontaneous and innocent and caring and giving. Please, don’t make me laugh. By this time most of us are hardened two-faced snots, though I guess I don’t mean “two-faced” in the conventional double-crossing way, and it has its merits at times. We’re all many-faceted, and oh so many times there are so many facets that most people don’t get to see. But to all appearances we are what society makes us. Mankind’s innate nature? Your own distinct personalities? It’s all too easy to pretend, disturbingly simple to force an identity on yourself, and sooner or later it becomes so much a part of you that you forget who you were in the first place. Then you get to contend with “the grass is always greener on the other side” syndrome – things were always better, more glorious, and brighter, “back then”. Even if you can’t remember what “back then” means. And you resort to these lovely little fantasies reeled off the top of your head. Perhaps part truth, but a lot of it fiction, fond little things you want to remember.

Maybe the longer and deeper you conceal it, the more violently it’s released. The more civilised the society the more brutal it becomes in other ways to make up for it. We all go a little mad once in a while, after all. How mad depends on how much we’ve kept inside us, how strongly it’s been building up. It seems as if the more advanced society thinks it is, the more restrictions and moulds and unspoken rules it places on its members. Not just society; it happens within a community of practice, a sphere of influence. Why does artificiality have to be an element of a developed society? We lambaste “country bumpkins” for electing politicians based on appearances and empty, grandiose promises, but we ourselves are so highly judgemental of each other based on the trivial things – how so-and-so looks, the way so-and-so dresses, the haircut so-and-so has. And why is conformity so valued? Because it “keeps the societal order”? Even if we don’t state so explicitly, you’re weird if you like something most other people don’t like, if you think differently from “everyone else”, if you don’t believe in what most of society believes in. It is because you shake the previously firm foundations the trendsetters have laid for themselves and their devoted followers? To remind them that not everyone needs to think the same way, and that in the end *you* can’t really change the way other people think? (Even though it’s ever so easy to change your own thinking, if only – forgive the pun – you set your mind to it.) And then again, nothing is sacred as “deviation” becomes “cool” – so long as it’s done by the “right” people (ah, those selfsame trendsetters again – all you need to do is break the trend you started!).

One day, I’ll move to a corner of the world far from civil society and take a long, long break. Or maybe I’ll just run around deserted islands with whoever’s unlucky enough to get stuck with me, waving a stick sharpened at both ends and yelling semi-incoherently about killing pigs, cutting throats, and spilling blood.

]]> ~SirithrosLirenel