http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:Soulfulll&section=today deviantART RSS for by:Soulfulll en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Thu, 10 Dec 2009 07:12:26 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://Soulfulll.deviantart.com/journal/27586927/ http://Soulfulll.deviantart.com/journal/27586927/ Sun, 04 Oct 2009 20:13:40 PDT [link]

]]> ~Soulfulll http://Soulfulll.deviantart.com/journal/21794653/ http://Soulfulll.deviantart.com/journal/21794653/ Wed, 03 Dec 2008 05:37:20 PST


Sonia Sanchez is a wonderful woman. I love her with all my heart. I had a much different experience with her than I had with Angela Davis. She gave me a hug, spoke to me several times, as long as I wanted to talked to her, she was all ears. I felt like I could tell her anything and she would understand. I would love to be just like her when I get old but I understand my mission is to be just like me. Perhaps, if I do what I know I need to do, I'll be just as much an inspiration to others.



While she was here, one of the things that she hit on constantly is the power of words. I remember her saying that she was from Harlem and used to have a reputation of being able to cut people down with her words. She said that once she made a man drop to his knees and cry with her words. I believe her.



Professor Sanchez had a book called "The Messages in Water". She said that in the book, a scientist, was fascinated with frozen water crystals. He conducted a large number of experiments that sought out the effects of words on the shape of these water crystals. He had young children come through and speak to the crystals saying words like I love you, you are beautiful and you are nice. The crystals came out to be beautiful and symmetric. The scientist then had the children come by again and say I hate you, you make me sick and your ugly. The crystals turned out to be distorted and asymmetric. The scientist also tried things like exposing the water to john coltrane vs heavy metal and got similar results.



Personally, I don't know if the difference was soley based on the words, the volume or the tone. I guess I will have to read the book. I do know, however, that Professor Sanchez is one of the most brilliant people I've come across and she believes that the crystals were effected by the words said.



She challenged the audience to not say anything negative about anyone else for a week. Then this awesome woman gave us all her personal phone number so we could tell her how it went. She told us she would give us further instructions afterwards on what we should do. I thought to myself, how hard could this be? I rarely ever talk about other people any way.

Wrong.

I don't gossip, but I didn't take into account that I work in customer service. I get annoyed very often and I may not say something about the ignorance of the people who call me on a daily basis to other people, but I sure say it to myself, lol.

]]> ~Soulfulll http://Soulfulll.deviantart.com/journal/17323258/ http://Soulfulll.deviantart.com/journal/17323258/ Thu, 13 Mar 2008 21:13:29 PDT Coming toward me, looking as if he hadn’t showered in days
Locks uncared for, smelling like… rotten… decaying…. Something
I knew he was coming this way.. So I thought about running away
Ducking into a store or something, but something told me to hear what he had to say

“Hey Miss!” he said, and scratched his neck
“Hi“. I said, somewhat timidly
“Could you spare some change for me today? They don’t want me to live,
I want to live…. They can’t stop me, They won’t stop me…”

At this point, I’m like, this dude is crazy, maybe I should run away.
But again this little voice was there, telling me to stay.
“What are you talking about sir? I mean.. what do you mean -
Who doesn’t want you to live? Is someone after you…?”

“Yea someone is after me, it’s them the government, society,
The people, they’re after me, they’re after us, they’re after everybody”

“Sit down, right here and I’ll tell you how it is…”

Do I go? Or do I stay? Curiosity always kills me, and I don’t
Really have anywhere to go anyway…. So I eased onto the bench
And he sat next to me. I could see 18 month old wax protruding from
His ears. He was hugging himself and had an expression on his face
That was hard to discern. I couldn’t tell if he was scowling …or
Laughing.

Suddenly his demeanor changes. He sits up straight, wipes the crust
From his eyes and the edges of his mouth and attempts to straighten his jacket.
He begins.

“I’ve always had goals. High and lofty goals. Simple Goals. Dreams and Hopes.
I truly thought that in the land of the free, the home of the brave, that anyone
Could have anything they wanted. Just work hard at it and you will be living the
American dream, in no time flat.

So I did, I worked my ass off… for 45 years I worked and worked for my goals.
When I was younger, my goals were high and in my naivety. I knew anything was possible.
So whatever life, fate…. The government or the “Man” threw at me, I worked through it and believed.
Years went by. Opportunities passed. My ambition dropped a bit. I figured I could be
Happy living a simple life. An average American dream. No more Dr. and lawyer shit…
No more trying to save the world…. I just want to get by.

I tried and I tried and I tried. I didn’t understand why this was so HARD. I knew that I didn’t
Have the same opportunities as other people have but I didn’t know that it would set me this far back.
I just thought that if I tried hard enough, If I worked harder, the fruits of my labor would come.
There is just this unseen FORCE blocking my way.”

I sat there amazed. He had stopped hugging himself and while he spoke to me passion
Blazed in his eyes. He looked like a fallen god. I felt as if I should reverence him because
He knew. He had the wisdom of a thousand wise men and I felt so ashamed for the way I
Had regarded this elder.

He continued.
“One day, I figured it out. I knew what I had been doing wrong. I wasn’t going after my dream
Full force. I realized I knew all along how I could live my dream. It’s simple. Smoke crack.

Every time I take a hit I’m in ecstasy because I live in a world that I create. I fell in love with
That world. I roam these streets and subject myself to these conditions of humility to live the
Way I want to live. I left my children for this. I won’t go back, I don’t want to go back because
In my world I don’t have kids. That was not something that I asked for. That was something forced
On me by something unseen.

Lady. Give me some change so that I can live my life.”


I stood up. Mind racing, thoughts chasing each other. No. This isn’t right. I could kick myself
For listening to a crack head in the first place. But I couldn’t write him off because I knew he had
A point.

Then suddenly it dawned on me.

“Sir…this is my change to you.”

Sitting down, I put my hand on his shoulder:

“Don’t be a victim.”

He looked at me, eyes wide, mouth gaping. Emotions flew through his countenance.
Beginning with rage and ending in:

“Thank you. Could you give me a lift to Jimmy Hale’s?

]]> ~Soulfulll http://Soulfulll.deviantart.com/journal/14755394/ http://Soulfulll.deviantart.com/journal/14755394/ Sun, 23 Sep 2007 09:51:58 PDT
Made me cry.

I cried like a big baby.

Let me start from the beginning. Since I first found out she was coming to town, I was uber excited. I was like... OMFG... I'm going to be in the same room as ANGELA DAVIS. One of the people that actually had a hand in me even being able to GO to school. I was so excited. I considered skipping school because I had a lab during her lecture. I had already tried to switch my anatomy lab, but my TAs wouldn't answer their phones. I think they were ignoring me. That's something that urks me more than anything else could.

I'll get to that later.

Anywayz, I thought about skipping class. Then I thought. I need to make all As this semester or it's just not going to be looking good for me as a student at UAB. I knew that in my heart of hearts Angela Davis would probably be angry if she knew I'd skipped classed and risked flunking. So I figured I would try to catch her after class.

MAN class was extra long.

I ran to see her after class was over and found out that she was going to go to the honor's house for a book signing. I had 2 missions: Take her picture and shake her hand.

Shaking her hand is symbolic to me. For some reason, I felt like if I could just touch her, someone who made such a difference in our community, someone who did so much for me... it would help me realize the dreams that I have to do close to the same thing. If I could just shake her hand...

anything was possible.


SOoo... I got my share of pics. I was on the first row, clicking away. I didn't ask anything because I wasn't at the lecture and I didn't want to ask questions she had already covered. I couldn't wait until she got off the mic to get to her. But, as soon as she did, people ran up to speak to her. I figured, I would wait a little for the line to get smaller. I didn't really want to talk or get a signature, though I did buy a book. I just wanted to shake her hand.

I tried about 4 or 5 times, to speak to her. First I thought she was busy and just didn't hear me. Then someone else tried to get her attention for me. She ignored them.

It was raining when she left. Someone told me to run after her. I'm still thinking that maybe... maybe she hadn't heard me. I ran after her.. I asked her to shake my hand. She said that her hands were full. It wouldn't have hurt so bad if, when we were inside she hadn't deliberately ignored me and signed someone's book, when she had the same amount of stuff in her hands.

It hurt man. It was classic. I walked back to the building with my head down. I stood in the rain crying till a friend of mine came up, hugged me and told me to put my camera up and go home. The hug did make me feel better. He also told me that life is time and opportunity. That stuck with me.


I don't have any less respect for Angela Davis. My experience with her doesn't change the things she did for us, her courage, her intelligence. I wrote in an earlier note that you can't give less credit to someone for their good just because they did something bad or something you didn't like. If a good person does something bad.. that doesn't make their goodness any less good.

For example, MLK... or Bill Clinton. Heresay they both had some problems with faithfulness to their wives. The KKK will say all kinds of shit about MLK. Some may be true... that doesn't change the positive things he did. So we have to recognize the other shit but let it roll off our backs.

I'm better now because I realize that shaking Angela Davis' hand doesn't define me. I have a mission to complete and it will be done to my best ability regardless of what happens or who believes in me or likes me. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

]]> ~Soulfulll http://Soulfulll.deviantart.com/journal/14755369/ http://Soulfulll.deviantart.com/journal/14755369/ Sun, 23 Sep 2007 09:50:33 PDT
Made me cry.

I cried like a big baby.

Let me start from the beginning. Since I first found out she was coming to town, I was uber excited. I was like... OMFG... I'm going to be in the same room as ANGELA DAVIS. One of the people that actually had a hand in me even being able to GO to school. I was so excited. I considered skipping school because I had a lab during her lecture. I had already tried to switch my anatomy lab, but my TAs wouldn't answer their phones. I think they were ignoring me. That's something that urks me more than anything else could.

I'll get to that later.

Anywayz, I thought about skipping class. Then I thought. I need to make all As this semester or it's just not going to be looking good for me as a student at UAB. I knew that in my heart of hearts Angela Davis would probably be angry if she knew I'd skipped classed and risked flunking. So I figured I would try to catch her after class.

MAN class was extra long.

I ran to see her after class was over and found out that she was going to go to the honor's house for a book signing. I had 2 missions: Take her picture and shake her hand.

Shaking her hand is symbolic to me. For some reason, I felt like if I could just touch her, someone who made such a difference in our community, someone who did so much for me... it would help me realize the dreams that I have to do close to the same thing. If I could just shake her hand...

anything was possible.


SOoo... I got my share of pics. I was on the first row, clicking away. I didn't ask anything because I wasn't at the lecture and I didn't want to ask questions she had already covered. I couldn't wait until she got off the mic to get to her. But, as soon as she did, people ran up to speak to her. I figured, I would wait a little for the line to get smaller. I didn't really want to talk or get a signature, though I did buy a book. I just wanted to shake her hand.

I tried about 4 or 5 times, to speak to her. First I thought she was busy and just didn't hear me. Then someone else tried to get her attention for me. She ignored them.

It was raining when she left. Someone told me to run after her. I'm still thinking that maybe... maybe she hadn't heard me. I ran after her.. I asked her to shake my hand. She said that her hands were full. It wouldn't have hurt so bad if, when we were inside she hadn't deliberately ignored me and signed someone's book, when she had the same amount of stuff in her hands.

It hurt man. It was classic. I walked back to the building with my head down. I stood in the rain crying till a friend of mine came up, hugged me and told me to put my camera up and go home. The hug did make me feel better. He also told me that life is time and opportunity. That stuck with me.


I don't have any less respect for Angela Davis. My experience with her doesn't change the things she did for us, her courage, her intelligence. I wrote in an earlier note that you can't give less credit to someone for their good just because they did something bad or something you didn't like. If a good person does something bad.. that doesn't make their goodness any less good.

For example, MLK... or Bill Clinton. Heresay they both had some problems with faithfulness to their wives. The KKK will say all kinds of shit about MLK. Some may be true... that doesn't change the positive things he did. So we have to recognize the other shit but let it roll off our backs.

I'm better now because I realize that shaking Angela Davis' hand doesn't define me. I have a mission to complete and it will be done to my best ability regardless of what happens or who believes in me or likes me. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

]]> ~Soulfulll http://Soulfulll.deviantart.com/journal/10144958/ http://Soulfulll.deviantart.com/journal/10144958/ Thu, 21 Sep 2006 16:54:20 PDT in the back of my mind...

I think of beautiful pieces
and crave to be a part-
of who I am.


Wrestling with moral obligations
not to be self centered..
selfish in my ambitions-
to be
who is ME.

and love it
with abandon


I hope one day
To take a breath and
leap
into the morning, knowing that God made
the noon, evening and midnight
for me... totally.


I don't sit on a cold throne alone
so
The day isn't mine
neither is the night
and we are all parts of one
so I must share with my counter parts

To create ONE of something better, together... forever
to be crying, trying, teaching, reaching for a
future.
A Change, To Change Always.



So I die into myself
and it shrinks to almost nonexistence
and sits in the back of my mind.
Mentally and Physically a
Sacrifice...

hoping and wishing for a
greater time. ]]> ~Soulfulll http://Soulfulll.deviantart.com/journal/10054802/ http://Soulfulll.deviantart.com/journal/10054802/ Tue, 12 Sep 2006 21:03:28 PDT
and I did...

but I ran into this dudes page, Aniekan, who is an amazing artist
I looked at his paintings and ran into Huey P. Newton.

The photo I ran into that inspired me to research Huey Newton and in turn the Black Panthers, then Tupac's mom and stepfather, Afeni and Mutulu. After that I learned how the X men are really a skewed representation of civil rights leaders.

This picture got me places, lol.
. Afterwards I thought... I have heard SO much about Huey B. Newton but I really honestlly know next to nothing about him. So I went to see my friend Google and started on a 4 hour journey of research and enlightenment.

I looked up Newton and realized that this dude SERIOUSLY needs to start a major role in a movie about his life. A little background on Huey: He was one of the founders of The Black Panthers (which was essentially suppossed to be the protectors of ghetto blacks against police brutality before the FBI introduced drugs to the organization.... yea.. I SAID it.) which advocated the free breakfast program, opening of schools, the ten point plan and medical clinics for their neighborhoods to name ONLY a few. Reading about him taught me a lot about people and also refreshed and clarified things I already knew.

We are learning in pathology and culture about how people, alot of times don't get tested for mental illness because they are afraid of being classified with their illness without people really taking the time to check out what is really going on with them. Newton's life, and alot of other people's life who were involved in THE struggle... or any struggle for that matter, makes me think of how people can use for example, MLK's unfaithfullness to Coretta and Newton's drug abuse and murder to overshadow the beautiful and positive things that they have accomplished in their lives. Even if Newton allegedly took money from the organization to support his drug habit, there would be NO organization if he didn't or never had good intentions. I'm certainly not saying that we should ignore the shortcomings of our leaders.. but I think it is important to realize that they are human because if we don't, it is damaging to each or us individually (mentally) and culturally. In looking at things unrealistically, we aren't honoring their memories. I'm sure they would want us to look at them and realize that we aren't perfect and instead of ignoring that fact, admitting to it and in turn working on our flaws to make them better. But yall don't hear me though. (For more information on Newton hit up: [link] , [link] , [link] )


By the way.. .Newton met this guy in prison, who was suppossed to help him with his reading. They became best friends... this dude is Robert Trivers and he is a famed evolutionary biologist who still teaches at Rutgers University. His number is (732) 932- 1670 and I'm thinking about trying to either email or talk to him to see whether or not he responds. His information was on the school's website so I think it is ok to include it here. This guy is one of the 2 most noted revolutionary evolutionary biologist there are now and he was Newton's bestfriend. Right now he is working on the significance of symmetry and its correlation to different sides of the brain. ( [link] )

In learning about the Black Panthers and Newton, I ran into information about Afeni and Mutulu Shakur. Shamedly, I didn't do nearly as well as I should have in African Amercan Studies. Not that I couldn't, if I ever told you that I was stupid, it was a lie. I didn't do well because I would forget homework assignments, loose my books and split my time in 50 different directions.... this also applies to all my other classes too. Anyway, I digress. Dr. Hodari was one of my favorite teachers and is one of my role models... I don't agree with everything she says but at least she has a good reason for saying what she does say. Plus, she has nice style and I like her attitude (again, I digress). She would always tell us stories about this guy she visited in prison, I'd forgotten his name, but knew she always said he was Tupacs dad. When I was researching The Black Panthers, I ran into Afeni (Tupac's mom). And again, just because she cheated on her husband w/ Tupac's dad and then remarried his Dad's brother shouldn't outshine The Panther Post (look it up: [link] ), her prison time for advocating the panthers and Tupac Amaru Shakur Foundation... ]]> ~Soulfulll http://Soulfulll.deviantart.com/journal/9610918/ http://Soulfulll.deviantart.com/journal/9610918/ Sat, 05 Aug 2006 19:07:31 PDT [link] and reading up on techniques and composition. ...

I also enjoy: acting, dancing, poetry, music: tuba, bass, baritone, reading, graphic design, natural hair, natural healing and healthy living.

So, if you would, leave a comment on my work... anything is great... I just want to get some imput. Thanks... 'preciate it.

-Jess ]]> ~Soulfulll