http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:SpiritWolf1213&section=today deviantART RSS for by:SpiritWolf1213 en-us Copyright 2010, deviantART.com Fri, 01 Jan 2010 09:27:59 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://SpiritWolf1213.deviantart.com/journal/17000935/ http://SpiritWolf1213.deviantart.com/journal/17000935/ Thu, 21 Feb 2008 21:40:35 PST
]]> ~SpiritWolf1213 http://SpiritWolf1213.deviantart.com/journal/16636593/ http://SpiritWolf1213.deviantart.com/journal/16636593/ Tue, 29 Jan 2008 22:21:35 PST
]]> ~SpiritWolf1213 http://SpiritWolf1213.deviantart.com/journal/14877359/ http://SpiritWolf1213.deviantart.com/journal/14877359/ Mon, 01 Oct 2007 20:33:33 PDT
Also, the Renaissance Festival is over. That's really awesome because I get to sleep in on weekends now, but it's sad because I don't get to see all my good buddies until next year. Well, actually I can see them sooner than that, but I won't get to see them as often which is still really sad.

Oh well. It's all good in the end. I really can't wait to move. I have absolutely everything planned out and all that jazz. I basically have the whole basement to myself. Oh, and I have a fridge there too. It's going to be pretty darn sweet. Especially once we put in my mini-bar.

Well, that's all for now. See ya all later.

]]> ~SpiritWolf1213 http://SpiritWolf1213.deviantart.com/journal/13108121/ http://SpiritWolf1213.deviantart.com/journal/13108121/ Sun, 27 May 2007 01:45:05 PDT
I've had a pretty good year this year. I was kinda lazy though. I haven't written any poetry in a long time, but I have been working on learning to draw (I'm not very good). I am also working on a story with my friend. We don't have any names yet though...we're still on the major details.

I've drastically improved on my martial arts though. I'm planning on opening a school someday. I would love to teach martial arts.

My parents want to move to Georgia now. I don't want to move though. I like where I live. But I am trying to find positive things about it. Unfortunately, the negatives outweigh the positives.

But it's summer vacation so I'm happy. I'll probably spend quite a bit of time here now. I might post some drawings on here, but only if I can draw something that I actually think might be worth putting on here.

But that's all I can think of for now.

]]> ~SpiritWolf1213 http://SpiritWolf1213.deviantart.com/journal/9121578/ http://SpiritWolf1213.deviantart.com/journal/9121578/ Tue, 20 Jun 2006 00:28:28 PDT
My family is just filled with messed up people. We had a Canada Goose that we found running around in the middle of the road a few years ago. It was just a little gosling when we found it. And just a few days ago, my dad had to scrape her off of the road. No one in my family cried or showed any emotion. My dad just walks in and says, "The goose is dead." Everyone just sat there and said, "Oh, really?" I don't get it! We had that goose for the longest time and we all had fond memories about that goose...and no one seems to care at all! A few weeks ago, we found a cat and then it died within a week from some weird cause that I don't know, and my siblings were crying and spazzing at me when I said, "We've only had that cat for less than a week, and all it did was stay outside and run from us when we got near it." But now that the goose that ran up to us, woke us up in the morning, and let us feed her from our hands dies, no one cares! I just don't get it!

Also, I've been thinking about my martial arts training, and I've realized...I'm a failure. I've been training for nine and a half years and I suck. I mean, I train with my dad every day, but when we spar, he always wastes me. He's been doing the same thing for 9 and a half years! I can't beat him still! I should know his moves and stuff, but I am too slow, too weak, and too bad to beat him. I have terrible balance as well. I have trouble pulling off some of the most simplest of moves. I don't fight anyone else because I know that they'll beat me. I'm even afraid to fight the people who have probably never fought in their life, because I think that I'm going to get beaten. I've been training since September 1st, 1996 and I am afraid that my skills are terrible. It really sucks.

Also, people are trying to hurt me. Not physically, but mentally and emotionally. I am being lied to, and people are giving my little sister ways to bug me. My brothers will not leave me alone and have a need to do the exact opposite of what I say! Then my friends are really messing with my mind. I got a haircut, which my dad messed up, as usual, and now absolutely everyone is making fun of me...my cousins are calling me a girl thanks to my sister. And my friends suddenly have an urge to bring up the stupid stuff that happened during school. They especially like to bring up the time that I accidentally punched a wall. It's not that big of a deal! They really need to know what they should and shouldn't say. *sigh* I don't know why, but for some reason, it really messes up my mind when someone messes around with me. I can't take insults well for some reason, and noone seems to understand that! It's like they like to see me spaz...which is something that most of them have admitted to.

Oh, and more good news! My mom pretty much hates me. She's starting to threaten me again, saying that she'll send me to military school, or to a group home. She says that I have a mental illness. I don't have a mental illness, or at least, not the kind she thinks I do. (I may have an inferiority complex and insomnia.) She's the one who has a mental problem. My dad even agrees with me. She's the one that needs to see a doctor! Children learn things from their parents, so if they think that I'm messed up, they should also think that they're messed up as well. She also said that I'm a bad example for my siblings. What she doesn't realize, is that I am like one of their parents during the school year. We go to school, then come home just as our mom leaves to go to work, and so I have to watch them, until 7:30 which is when my dad gets home. Then he tells us to go to bed because it's late and we would normally have school the next day. I'm not a bad influence to them. I'm almost the only influence they have.

*Sigh* I think that I've ranted enough. That's all from me for now. ]]> ~SpiritWolf1213 http://SpiritWolf1213.deviantart.com/journal/8260611/ http://SpiritWolf1213.deviantart.com/journal/8260611/ Fri, 24 Mar 2006 23:32:17 PST
Now, I'm having trouble choosing which poem I want published. I'm not really good at judging my own work, so I'd really appreciate it if you guys helped me out by telling me which one of my poems you think I should send in.

Thanks a lot. ]]> ~SpiritWolf1213 http://SpiritWolf1213.deviantart.com/journal/7938860/ http://SpiritWolf1213.deviantart.com/journal/7938860/ Sat, 18 Feb 2006 23:21:18 PST
See, a long time ago, a kid brought an ad for a poetry contest to english contest. I was interested, so I decided to enter "In Your Hands..." and guess what. It made it to the semi-finals!!! Out of the thousands that entered, only 200 people made it to the semi-finals. So that's really good! But what's even better is that IT'S GETTING PUBLISHED!!! Yeah that's right, one of my poems is getting published! I'm so happy about it!

Now, yesterday there was a dance and I had nothing to do, so I just decided to go. A lot of things happened there. When I got there, I was so excited, but then I suddenly got angry/sad. I had no idea why, but after a lot of thinking I realised that it was because I was lonely. The angry/sad feeling that I always get is not depression or unsettled anger, instead it's lonliness. So I finally found out why I act the way that I do. I act hyper and loud at times just so I can get attention and not feel alone. Then when I feel sad and distant it's also because I want people to pay attention to me. I want someone that wants to listen. But that raises another question. If I want someone that wants to listen, then why don't I ever talk about it when people want to listen? I'm gonna have to work on that one.

Another thing that happened, was that I noticed that people are starting to call me emo. A few weeks ago, two people in my drawing class started calling me emo. (even though one of them thinks that I'm one of the coolest people in the world.) But they always call me a "freakin' emo". Then a few days ago, I was hanging out with some of my older friends and suddenly someone started saying that I was emo. She's never even talked to me before, so I thought it was just wierd that she called me emo. Most people think I'm goth when they first see me, so yeah, that was pretty confusing.

Then the last thing that happened yesterday, was that I ended up dancing with someone. At first, we were pretty much arms length away, but we kept moving closer until we were basically hugging eachother. I was so happy. But the bad thing is that I'm not sure if I still like her as a friend or as something more. So I'm trying to figure that out to. I know that she likes me, which really surprises me because I look wierd/scary and act hyper/immature, but I'm not sure if I like her back. She has a locker near mine, and so does a lot of her friends, so we have small conversations between classes, but nothing major. Then one day last week, she asked me to Saidee Hawkins (I'm pretty sure that I spelt that wrong) but I said no, because I knew that I was going to be a lousy date, and I told her that too. Then when I was in the bus line, one of her friends came up to me and asked if she asked me, and I said yes, and she asked what I said and I told her that I said no, so she called me a jerk. But then I explained why I said no, so she said "Oh." Then she asked "So, how does it feel to know that someone likes you." So yeah, I do know that she likes me, but why, I don't know. And I am kinda rambling now, so I'm going to stop explaining.

So basically, I'm excited that I'm getting published, I'm trying to figure out my loneliness issue and why I won't talk to people, I'm sorta confused about why people are suddenly starting to call me emo, I'm happy that I danced with someone, and I'm trying to figure out if I like the person I danced with or not.

I've got my work cut out for me. Oh well, I had a good day yesterday. And to think that all this happened just a few hours ago. Life is just wierd and wonderful like that. I just hope that I'm ready for what comes next. ]]> ~SpiritWolf1213 http://SpiritWolf1213.deviantart.com/journal/7718092/ http://SpiritWolf1213.deviantart.com/journal/7718092/ Thu, 26 Jan 2006 21:13:14 PST
See, my dad works at this one printing press place, but I wish that he didn't. Why? BECAUSE HE'S BEHIND BY 10 PAYCHECKS!!! That's right. Those jackasses owe him 10 paychecks, but they'll probably never get it to him.

Now my dad's looking for a new job (which he may have found at a restaurant) and my mom is going to try to get a job at Mini-Hops. (Some gymnastics place that my sister goes to.) This probably means that I'm gonna have to stay home every day to babysit my 2 year old brother. I have enough problems as it is! I just wish that I could go to sleep and wake up to see that everything's all right, but that's never going to happen.

Oh well. Experiences like these only make us stronger. Heh, knowing me, it's probably not even that bad! I just have a really bad habit of making things an even bigger deal than they really are. ]]> ~SpiritWolf1213 http://SpiritWolf1213.deviantart.com/journal/7493453/ http://SpiritWolf1213.deviantart.com/journal/7493453/ Mon, 02 Jan 2006 21:40:07 PST
I've been reading some journals and I've seen people complaining about so many things. How they hate people, how they hate themselves, the lies, the family problems, how their New Year sucked, and so on and so forth. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not angry that people are complaining, I complain about stuff like that all the time. It's just that I read about the pains in peoples' lives and then I look at the comments and there's about ten million comments saying, "Wow. that suxs. but don't worry. Its a new year so u can start over." SHUT THE HELL UP!!! The new year won't change that. Families don't stop fighting just because it's a new year. Your grades won't become A's just because it's a new year. People will not stop dying in the war just because it's a new year. That stuff can only be accomplished through motivation, determination, and hard work.

Don't get me wrong, New Years is my favorite holiday. I'm just getting mad that people think that everything will get better because it's a new year...and I've just had a terrible reminder of the past a few minutes ago, so I'm angry and miserable about that as well.

I know, it's in the past and I should forget it, but I can't. I might forget it for a while, but things can never be truely erased from the human mind...well, amnesia might, but I'm not sure, and I'm not going to try to get that.

Well, I'm calmed down now, and I've forgotten what else I was going to say, so I'm done for the day. And if you read this...find something to do, because you must be very bored! XD ]]> ~SpiritWolf1213 http://SpiritWolf1213.deviantart.com/journal/7459258/ http://SpiritWolf1213.deviantart.com/journal/7459258/ Fri, 30 Dec 2005 17:56:50 PST
Yeah, I wrote this because I was sick of my old journal. ]]> ~SpiritWolf1213 http://SpiritWolf1213.deviantart.com/journal/7313729/ http://SpiritWolf1213.deviantart.com/journal/7313729/ Wed, 14 Dec 2005 21:09:12 PST
I'm practically a complete fake! I don't know who I am anymore.

In public, I'm this really crazy guy who has infinite amounts of energy. I never seem sad and I almost always have a joke for everything. At other times, I'm a sad little person who is on the verge of becoming a sadistic killer. There are so many things I want to tell people, so many things that I want to point out for them, but I never say them. I don't know why.

Every now and then, someone says something stupid, thinking that they're right, or something like that. Sometimes I'll know that they said something stupid and I know what I should say to prove them wrong, but I don't say anything.

Why don't I? Is it because I think that it'll hurt their feelings? Am I just afraid that they'll start arguing with me, saying stupid things over and over again until I can't take it? I don't know.

I just wish that I could make up my mind and be one person! I'm tired of being split in half! Am I really happy, or am I really sad? Is my behaviors a result of my unresolved and unhealed pain? Is my sorrow just a simple sadness that will be gone after a while and I won't be as sad anymore? What's going on?!?

You know that one guy that seems absolutely perfect? You know, the person who seems to have a perfect life? The person who's good at sports, has really good grades, has an infinite number of friends, and who's happy all the time. You see them and you think that they have absolutely no problems at all, but in reality, they do have problems and they do have flaws. They just won't share them with anyone.

You know that kind of person? Well, that's the kind of guy I am. Everyone thinks that I'm leading a wonderful life, heck, even my family thinks that I'm leading an awesome life. But really, I'm being destroyed.

My pains were small when I was younger, but they were still there and over time, they got bigger. I remember when I was in sixth grade. I was completely carefree. I almost always had a smile, and they were real smiles too. Not the fake ones that I wear now. I used to get straight A's, but now I've become a bit lazier and I've had trouble getting my homework in. Now I'm lucky to have a B.

My life is headed straight downward. I'm digging myself into a deeper grave, and if I don't stop soon, it my cave in on me. ]]> ~SpiritWolf1213 http://SpiritWolf1213.deviantart.com/journal/7039804/ http://SpiritWolf1213.deviantart.com/journal/7039804/ Sun, 13 Nov 2005 20:20:17 PST
It's weird. I remember a year ago, someone told me that crying makes you human. What if I can't cry? Does that make me non-human? What does it make me? I can feel sad, and my eyes will water, but I can't cry...I just can't. The tears won't escape my eyes...my pains won't find an escape either.

I know what I need in life...I KNOW what I NEED! I had it once...or...at least I think I did.

How do I know it was real? Was it just a game of charades, where the there where sick consequences? I know what I need in life...and I'm not sure I want it.

I like to talk to myself...It helps me understand myself better. I guess that's why I adore the night. It always makes me think. As long as I don't dream...I'll be fine. Dreams have caused me a new pain.

Dreams!?! Who would have thought that something so beautiful could cause a person pain? They're not dreams with sad endings...they're dreams with happy endings...impossible endings. Why do I dream?

*Sigh* So many questions, but no answers, yet, it feels as if I already know the answers. I hardly understand anything, let alone myself, yet I understand many things about others. I don't understand myself, and I probably never will.

Hehehe. Now I'm rambling. I'm just like a run on sentence, I just keep going and going. Hahaha! ]]> ~SpiritWolf1213 http://SpiritWolf1213.deviantart.com/journal/6983795/ http://SpiritWolf1213.deviantart.com/journal/6983795/ Mon, 07 Nov 2005 17:59:03 PST
I live out on a farm, so there's a lot of open space where I am. The corn was just cut down, so I can see the small town from where I live. Well, there's a few spots along my running trail that have the best views of the town. The lights were on and it just felt so amazing to see something like that. The stars in the sky are so easy to see and so the images all mix together and make the perfect scene.

It was beautiful...but it made me sad. Beauty is only true beauty if you can share it with someone, and there's no one I can show it to.

I ran over 2 miles before I stopped running, but I still stayed outside. I was busy admiring the night sky and figuring out so many things, like how the night is so much like life. It also helped me learn some more things about myself.

*Sigh* It sucks that I have school, otherwise I would stay out all night...I just wish I had someone to share it with. ]]> ~SpiritWolf1213 http://SpiritWolf1213.deviantart.com/journal/6966162/ http://SpiritWolf1213.deviantart.com/journal/6966162/ Sat, 05 Nov 2005 20:42:48 PST
So many things went wrong today.

For starters, I stayed up all night, so I haven't slept for over 24 hours. Secondly, I had a friend over and there was nothing to do, so I was bored all day, and then I got on, hoping to get a note from a friend. I got a note, but it said that they didn't want me in their life anymore. I'm confused. I don't know why! They never told me why, they just sent me a note saying not to reply to the note and that they didn't want me in their life anymore.

I know people who are friends with this person and I've sent them messages, hoping to find out why this is happening. I just hope that they'll still talk to me.

I feel so betrayed...I feel like I have no more friends...Life is empty, once again. ]]> ~SpiritWolf1213