http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:Sporenza&section=today deviantART RSS for by:Sporenza en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Sat, 19 Dec 2009 20:20:38 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://Sporenza.deviantart.com/journal/19283384/ http://Sporenza.deviantart.com/journal/19283384/ Tue, 08 Jul 2008 23:16:21 PDT
1. WHERE THE F*** HAVE YOU BEEN!?

Where the rainbow ends, where the seas sink into in sky. Um...actually, just Uni. It's been taking up a lot of time and I sort of got over this place for quite a while. Such a shame...And also, it's none of your God damned business.

2. Hey, you live in the Sydney area. Will you be involved in World Youth Day?

No. As flat as possible. No.

3. Did you miss me?

Aw! Of course I did!

4. Out of pure curiousity, what are you doing in Thursday 17th July? Cause I was hoping we could hang.

Sorry! I'm seeing The Dark Knight! It's gonna be awesome.

5. Are you always this bizzare?

Haven't you read any of my work?

6. No. You've been gone so long.

Jeez, I'm sorry. I'll try put some new stuff up soon for y'all.

7. Thanks!

You're welcome.

8. Gonna look at my stuff?

Gonna try!

Sorry, they really stopped being relevant questions then, didn't they? In fact, they ceased being questions at all...

]]> ~Sporenza http://Sporenza.deviantart.com/journal/16515803/ http://Sporenza.deviantart.com/journal/16515803/ Tue, 22 Jan 2008 04:17:35 PST
ALPHA\\
This one clings so tight: she is scared of being alone.
This one stays despite some sins: "Nothing better will come."

BETA\\
This one, maybe she likes the control?
And he? He loves her so.

KAPPA\\
She oh she is just so warm, so he will never leave.
And he oh he is just as sweet...moreso now he's cut his hair.

DELTA\\
This little petal sits alone...probably more deserving than the rest,
As she counts the seconds it takes for the moon to break through the clouds.

EPSILON\\
This one's mine rhymes with gate, and she adores him so.
And his one girl rhymes with glee, strange, cause that's what she gives him.

Oh wow...sorry guys...I got into a serious thing there...so...I think I might have a BO problem, but don't tell my fairy god mother. You know, she's so particular about her smells, what with the carriage made from onion thing (she had run out of pumpkins the previous night).

]]> ~Sporenza http://Sporenza.deviantart.com/journal/15730702/ http://Sporenza.deviantart.com/journal/15730702/ Fri, 30 Nov 2007 05:36:21 PST
Guess who's back?

]]> ~Sporenza http://Sporenza.deviantart.com/journal/13777377/ http://Sporenza.deviantart.com/journal/13777377/ Wed, 18 Jul 2007 03:30:48 PDT
I really haven't been on much, considering that I've been on holidays for the last month...

No real excuses. Books, video games, friends...stuff...

But yeah, like I said. I'm back.

I think.

Pretty sure.

Just letting you know.

]]> ~Sporenza http://Sporenza.deviantart.com/journal/12885087/ http://Sporenza.deviantart.com/journal/12885087/ Tue, 08 May 2007 07:29:16 PDT
Poetry is pure. It can only come from the heart. Words that come from the head are prose.

Poetry is what gives emotions the power of expression.

Poetry is something to fight over and to cry over. Treat her as you would the love of your life.

Poetry is about experimenting with the language and pushing the boundries of the lexicon. She must not, under any circumstances, be allowed to stagnate.

Poetry is boundless. She has no rules, and she cannot be tamed. She is a wild beast that escapes through your fingertips, ravishing your soul and razing mighty empires to the ground.

Poetry is essence. She is the Muses gliding from Olympia, and she is the Furies stalking from Hades.

She is everything.

]]> ~Sporenza http://Sporenza.deviantart.com/journal/12532480/ http://Sporenza.deviantart.com/journal/12532480/ Mon, 09 Apr 2007 22:37:25 PDT 'Quickly, quickly my friend! You must hide! The one whom loves you draws near! This never used to be a problem until you stupidly decided to love them back! Now quickly, you must flee before they invade your home and your heart. Only one can be lost. The one who you love should never be in your home, and you should never love the one who lives with you - one is bad for the soul and the other is bad for conversation. Now go! I will hold them off with tales of your virtue and beauty while you make your escape. I believe that France is lovely this time of year, and the fresh country air will surely cure you of your affectionate ailment. Enjoy your freedom with a toast of wine and a taste of cheese, and don't forget to avoid everyone who smiles at you - they are dull and have no exciting stories. Keep the company of the men who burst into tears. They are the only ones who will teach you about life. Adieu, my lord! Remember me!'

]]> ~Sporenza http://Sporenza.deviantart.com/journal/12241331/ http://Sporenza.deviantart.com/journal/12241331/ Mon, 19 Mar 2007 05:46:07 PDT
Anyway, today I'm fulfilling a promise to *Beccalicious. I am shamelessy advertising her competition.

Basically, it can be any form of art you want. Prose, poetry, photography, painting...all of them are accepted, as long as it sticks to the theme of addiction. For the full set of rules and such just check out her journal on her page.

The winner gets a year's subscription to DA, two runners up get monthly subscriptions. If this isn't much incentive for you, that's okay, cause it's a good chance for you to rub all those other artists' faces in your talent.

Or, if arrogance isn't so much your style...do it for me...Sporenza.

Anyway, I know that some of you people out there have some serious talent so I hope you enter, because it would mean a lot to Becca. And honestly, it is a great chance to see how well your art compares against others and to meet other Deviants, so please give it a shot, okay?

Oh, and I forgot to mention...I'm a judge...so, I'm sure we can reach some arrangement...

[link] [link]

]]> ~Sporenza http://Sporenza.deviantart.com/journal/12139470/ http://Sporenza.deviantart.com/journal/12139470/ Sun, 11 Mar 2007 05:21:52 PDT
]]> ~Sporenza http://Sporenza.deviantart.com/journal/11873724/ http://Sporenza.deviantart.com/journal/11873724/ Sun, 18 Feb 2007 20:31:39 PST And how can we win
When fools can be kings?
Don't waste your time
Or time will waste you.
- 'Knights of Cydonia', Muse

]]> ~Sporenza http://Sporenza.deviantart.com/journal/11807018/ http://Sporenza.deviantart.com/journal/11807018/ Wed, 14 Feb 2007 00:29:58 PST
I have to tell you 6 odd things about me, and I don't think that 'I write poetry' six times over is gonna cut it. Not this time anyway.

1) I think that the sudden explosion in lesbianism and bisexuality is a social fad. I don't mean to offend to anyone, it's just my view. And I'm not saying that there is no such thing as a bi-sexual or homosexual.
2) I despise hedonism with the utmost intensity.
3) I sometimes lick the glass in the shower...
4) I try to be a gentleman as much as I can.
5) I count the tiles on my bathroom floor when I'm on the loo. Shut up! What else is there to do?!
6) Um...uh...I...I write poetry...*hides face in shame*

During the struggle
They will pull us down.
But tonight, we can truly say,
Together we're invincible.

]]> ~Sporenza http://Sporenza.deviantart.com/journal/11706489/ http://Sporenza.deviantart.com/journal/11706489/ Tue, 06 Feb 2007 06:50:17 PST
Now I want you to contact them anyway you can. Call them, text them, write a letter. I don't care. Tell them you love them.

]]> ~Sporenza http://Sporenza.deviantart.com/journal/11583625/ http://Sporenza.deviantart.com/journal/11583625/ Sat, 27 Jan 2007 04:03:37 PST Athos, like all noble creatures, did not reveal to others the sad impressions which he felt; but on the contrary he absorbed them into himself, and in their place returned hopes and consolations. One might say that his personal griefs left his spirit changed into joys for others.
- Alexandre Dumas, Twenty Years After

]]> ~Sporenza http://Sporenza.deviantart.com/journal/11418323/ http://Sporenza.deviantart.com/journal/11418323/ Sat, 13 Jan 2007 05:10:19 PST All my friends are vampires.
I didn't know they were vampires.
It turns out I was a vampire myself.

]]> ~Sporenza http://Sporenza.deviantart.com/journal/11316500/ http://Sporenza.deviantart.com/journal/11316500/ Thu, 04 Jan 2007 17:28:48 PST Because I do not hope
Because I do not hope to turn
Desiring this man's gift and that man's scope
I no longer strive to strive towards such things
(Why should the aged eagle stretch its wings?)
Why should I mourn
The vanished power of the usual reign?

Because I do not hope to know again
The infirm glory of the positive hour
Because I do not think
Because I know I shall not know
The one veritable transitory power
Because I cannot drink
There, where trees flower, and springs flow, for there is
Nothing again.

- Ash Wednesday, TS Eliot

]]> ~Sporenza http://Sporenza.deviantart.com/journal/11239996/ http://Sporenza.deviantart.com/journal/11239996/ Sat, 30 Dec 2006 00:38:12 PST
Also, I got my new puppy today!

Go placidly amidst the noise and haste,
And remember what peace there may be in silence.

]]> ~Sporenza http://Sporenza.deviantart.com/journal/11058381/ http://Sporenza.deviantart.com/journal/11058381/ Thu, 14 Dec 2006 04:35:22 PST
1) =Prince-des-Sots

A lovely young chap whose sense of humour often transcends absurdism and enters the realm of intelligence. He is amazingly smart and witty, and as such, his work reveals his mind, which is often a place where miracles happen. For this reason, he is the honourable winner of the n00b Idol of 2006.

My three favourite deviations are
- Guide To Being a Hated Deviant (prose) [link]
- Dream Violin Solo (abstract paintings) [link]
- My Sweet Transliminality (experimental poetry) [link]

2) *Beccalicious

A bright young woman who constantly seeks to improve her artistic skills. Although predominately a poet, she has been known to delve into prose and is skilled in both arts. She is good to read, and can be relied on to give insightful critique to any deviation.

- Daddy's Little Girl Final Piece (prose) [link]
- The Fantasy Life (poetry) [link]
- In Her Sleep (poetry) [link]

3) ~H-P-Lovecraft

A poor, delusional young man who believes himself to be a deceased, nineteenth century horror writer of the same name. Really, young people these days. However, he is a talented poet/songwriter in his own right.

- My My My (poetry) [link]
- The Ever Constant Halo (poetry) [link]
- Oh, The Morn Is Not Yet Here (poetry) [link]

4) ~upsidedown-insideout

A recent addition to my list, but nonetheless an admirable lady of the pen. Her writing is deeply personal, and combines both symbols and frank language to create emotional atmosphere around all her poetry.

- Amnesic Perfection (poetry) [link]
- The Spider That Lived Beside Me (poetry) [link]
- This Haunting Light (poetry) [link]

5) ~MistressofChaos

Indeed, her screen name is a good hint towards her poetry. Her use of symbols is fantastic, allowing open interpretation and giving the reader the ability to obtain various meanings from her work.

- Spinning Glass (poetry) [link]
- Hau... ]]> ~Sporenza http://Sporenza.deviantart.com/journal/11035074/ http://Sporenza.deviantart.com/journal/11035074/ Tue, 12 Dec 2006 00:39:30 PST
He would roll in the poop of other dogs, then look at you as if you were the idiot.

He loved my friend Glen. He would jump on him and start trying to have sex with him. Those moments gave me the best laughs of my life.

If he wanted to play, he would grab your arm and pull you to a ball.

He bit flowers off the bush, and then dropped promptly dropped them.

If you laid down on the grass, he would walk up to you and start smelling you.

When he was really happy he would run in circles.

I taught him how to shake.

He was docile. Probably because he spent the days sleeping, lying in the shade and playing games.

I'll miss him. Rest in peace, boy.

]]> ~Sporenza http://Sporenza.deviantart.com/journal/10989805/ http://Sporenza.deviantart.com/journal/10989805/ Thu, 07 Dec 2006 23:46:10 PST
I have nothing else to say but this. Is a piano a string instrument or percussion? I always forget.

Sing another song to make me
Feel like I'm in love again.

1) =Prince-des-Sots Haha...this will be good.
2) *Beccalicious
3) ~H-P-Lovecraft
4) ~upsidedown-insideout
5) ~MistressofChaos
6) ~alquinton
7) ~postmodernbohemian
8) =NightLolita
9) ~massokissed
10)

Hurry! Only one place left!

]]> ~Sporenza http://Sporenza.deviantart.com/journal/10897215/ http://Sporenza.deviantart.com/journal/10897215/ Thu, 30 Nov 2006 02:08:41 PST
I ask that you raise your glass to honour the memory of Oscar Wilde, who died in self-exile and poverty in France, after being released from Reading Gaol after a two year hard labour sentence for being found guilty of homosexuality. In France he went by the name of Sebastian Melmoth - the wandering martyr.

And so, to the man who has taught me so much and influenced me so greatly through The Picture of Dorian Gray, rest in peace.

IN TENDER MEMORY OF OSCAR WILDE
16th October 1854 - 30th November 1900
Artist, decadent, aesthetic, homosexual, philosopher, wit, genius, martyr, wanderer, author, poet, teacher.

And now, in my moment of humility, I leave you with his last words:

Either that wallpaper goes, or I do.

]]> ~Sporenza http://Sporenza.deviantart.com/journal/10773089/ http://Sporenza.deviantart.com/journal/10773089/ Sun, 19 Nov 2006 02:49:19 PST Siddhartha listened. He was now all listener, completely one with listening, completely empty. Completely receptive. He felt now that had completed his learning of how to listen. He had often heard all these things before, these many voices in the river, but today he heard it in a new way. Now he no longer distinguished the many voices, the happy from the grieving, the childlike from the manly. The were all part of each other - longing laments, the laughter of the wise, cries of anger, the moans of the dying - all were one, all were interwoven and linked, intertwined in a thousand ways. And everything together, all the voices, all the goals, all the striving, all the suffering, all the pleasure - everything together was the river of what is, the music of life. And when Siddhartha listened attentively to the thousandfold song of the river, when he did not fasten on the suffering or the laughing, when he did not attatch his mind to any one voice and became involved in it with his ego - when he listened to all of them, the whole, when he perceived the unity, then the great song of a thousand voices formed one single word: OM, perfection.
- Siddhartha, Hermann Hesse

]]> ~Sporenza http://Sporenza.deviantart.com/journal/10704030/ http://Sporenza.deviantart.com/journal/10704030/ Sun, 12 Nov 2006 17:43:22 PST
Man oh man, I caught the U2 concert. It was fantastic. The atmosphere just swept you away. I had to get through Kanye West first though...eurgh. But when they came on they opened with City of Blinding Lights - which went off - and when they played Vertigo there was this MASSIVE cry from the crowd of uno, dos, tres, catorce! and when they played With or Without You they whole crowd was singing the vocal melody...and Bono sang Miss Sarenjevo (is that right?) perfectly - even the opera part. AND THEY PLAYED ANGEL OF HARLEM WHICH WAS NOT EXPECTED AT ALL. It made my day...but for a pic of the night see my dear friend Natalie's gallery It rained for a little bit, and I love the rain. Man it was awesome. And kudos to Natalie, who achieved one of her goals.

Next concert is the Mountain Goats on January 6th...then MUSE ON JANUARY 24TH...AND THEN RHCP IN APRIL. Oh man these are gonna go off. Just imagine Hysteria live...and Turn It Again live with Frusciante digressing on his gutar...Oh man I can't wait.

I'm going away for a week on the 22nd, spending time with some friends down south.

]]> ~Sporenza http://Sporenza.deviantart.com/journal/10596286/ http://Sporenza.deviantart.com/journal/10596286/ Thu, 02 Nov 2006 17:54:19 PST
But, at present, I have 93 deviations to view, and I promise I will see them all. I will get round to it. I promise.

I have been reading The Picture of Dorian Gray again. Sigh...that book is not good for my health. It is my favourite book of all time...it's so poisonous...I love the Decadent Movement. A Rebours here I come.

Fin de siecle.
Fin du globe.

Please people, keep on reading. Some of the finest art manifests itself in words.

]]> ~Sporenza http://Sporenza.deviantart.com/journal/10518824/ http://Sporenza.deviantart.com/journal/10518824/ Thu, 26 Oct 2006 16:01:21 PDT
'Hey, Perfect Circle have a good cover of that song.'
'Uh...no they don't.'

I dunno. There's something about singing a peaceful song to angry music with a voice like a stalker.

Imagine - John Lennon

Imagine there's no heaven
It's easy if you try
No hell below us
Above us only sky
Imagine all the people
Living for today.

Imagine there's no countries
It isn't hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for
And no religion too
Imagine all the people
Living life in peace.

You may say I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will be as one.

Imagine no possessions
I wonder if you can
No need for greed or hunger
A brotherhood of man
Imagine all the people
Sharing all the world.

You may say I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will live as one

]]> ~Sporenza http://Sporenza.deviantart.com/journal/10403351/ http://Sporenza.deviantart.com/journal/10403351/ Sun, 15 Oct 2006 16:19:23 PDT
2) I GOT TICKETS TO THE MOUNTAIN GOATS AGAIN!! YES YES YES!!!

3) My final exams starts on Friday and finished on November 9th. On November 10th I've got a U2 concert to go to.

4) I have attained a level of liberation and am now back to my old, semi-optimistic self. Hurrah for defeating the obstacles in our existential path.

5) As I haven't been here in a while, and have been listening to far to much music (I'm in a blues mood of late. Led Zeppelin have some awesome Blues and Roots song...I'm learning how to play blues now) I want you all to listen. If you have Stadium Arcadium, and if your copy has Turn It Again at ALL, listen to it now. Now now now! Listen to it and appreciate the solo/outro. You will hear Frusciante's skill, and be transformed by rock.

Peace out, see you after the exams.

]]> ~Sporenza http://Sporenza.deviantart.com/journal/10189463/ http://Sporenza.deviantart.com/journal/10189463/ Tue, 26 Sep 2006 05:50:02 PDT 'My name's Athos,' answered the musketeer.
'That's not a man's name; that's the name of a mountain!' cried the magistrate furiously. He was quite bewildered by now, and began to lose his head.
'And yet I assure you it's my name,' answered Athos calmly.
'But first you said your name was d'Artagnan,' protested the official.
'I never said so.'
'Yes, Sir. You did.'
'No, Sir. I did not. Your men came up to me and said, "You're Monsieur d'Artagnan." I replied "That's what you think." The men replied, "We don't think it, we know it." Not wishing to annoy them, I left it at that. Besides there was always a chance they might be right.'
'You're making fun of the law, Sir!'
'Not at all,' replied Athos calmly.
'You are Monsieur d'Artagnan.'
'Very well, Sir. Since you insist.'
- Aleaxandre Dumas, The Three Musketeers

]]> ~Sporenza http://Sporenza.deviantart.com/journal/10109159/ http://Sporenza.deviantart.com/journal/10109159/ Mon, 18 Sep 2006 07:50:39 PDT We came into town under the cover of night, because we were pretty sure the people here were going to hate us once they really got to know us. It was summer. It's always summer with us. In our lives together, which are sweet in the way of rotting things, it is somehow permanently summer.

THE MOON rose above the trees, older than time, greener than money. You hung you head out of the window of our dusty lemon-yellow El Camino and howled, and I turned up the radio, because the sound of your voice was already beginning to get to me. The speakers crackled and the music came through: Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons. Pretty as a midsummer's morn, they call her Dawn. Let the love of God come and get us if he wants us so bad. We know where we are going when all of this is done.

SOME PEOPLE MIGHT SAY that buying a house you've never actually seen close-up is a bad idea, but what does anybody know about our needs, anyhow? For us it was perfect. The peeling paint. The old cellar. The garden in the back. The porch out front. The still air of the living room. The attic. Everywhere entirely unfurnished and doomed to remain largely so, save for our own meager offerings: a cheap sofa, an old mattress, a couple of chairs and some ashtrays. Maybe a table salvaged from some diner gone into bankruptcy, I don't remember. Neither do you. We drank store-brand gin with fresh lime juice out of plastic cups or straight from the bottle and we spread ourselves out face-up on the wooden floors. An aerial view of us might have suggested we'd been knocked down, but what we were doing was staking our claim. Establishing our territories. Making good. Not on the vows we'd made but on the ones we'd really meant. You produced a wallet-sized transistor radio out of nowhere and you found a sympathetic station: somebody was playing Holwin' Wolf. Smokestack lightning. O yes, I loved you once. O yes, you loved me more. We entered our new house like a virus entering its host. You following me, me following you. However you like. The windows were high and the walls we thick and sturdy. It was hot as blazes. The guts of summer. Always down in the sugar-deep barrel-bottom belly of summer. Always. In our shared walk down to the bottom, which bottom we will surely find if only our hearts are brave and our love true enough, we have found that is somehow invariably and quite permanently summer.
- The Mountain Goats' prolouge to the concept album Tallahasee.

The Alpha Couple is a man and a woman who once loved each other genuinely. Due to alcohol, abuse and drugs their love has deteriorated to a relationship of spite. They love having ownership of the other, and the relationship is based upon drinking the other to death; who can cause the most pain; who can die first.

I love The Mountain Goats.

]]> ~Sporenza http://Sporenza.deviantart.com/journal/10015491/ http://Sporenza.deviantart.com/journal/10015491/ Sat, 09 Sep 2006 02:11:19 PDT Suddenly, by the sort of violent effort with which one wrenches one's head away from the pillow in a nightmare, Winston succeeded in transferring his hatred from the face on the screen to the dark-haired girl behind him. Vivid, beautiful hallucinations flashed through his mind. He would flog her to death with a rubber truncheon. He would tie her naked to a stake and shoot her full of arrows like Saint Sebastian. He would ravish her and cut her throat at the moment of climax. Better then before, moreover, he realized why it was that he hated her. He hated her because she was young and pretty and sexless, because he wanted to go to bed with her and would never do so, because round her sweep supple waist, which seemed to ask you to encircle it with your arm, there was only the odious scarlet sash, agressive symbol of chastity.
- Nineteen Eighty-Four, George Orwell. ]]> ~Sporenza http://Sporenza.deviantart.com/journal/9604161/ http://Sporenza.deviantart.com/journal/9604161/ Sat, 05 Aug 2006 02:43:47 PDT 'And yet,' continued Lord Henry, in his low musical voice, and with that graceful wave of the hand that was always so characteristic of him, and that he had even in his Eton days, 'I believe that if one man were to live out his life fully and completely, were to give form to every feeling, expression to every thought, reality to every dream - I believe that the world would gain such a fresh impulse of joy that we would forget all the maladies of mediaevalism, and return to the Hellenic ideal - something finer, richer, than the Hellenic ideal, it may be. But the bravest man among us is afraid of himself. The mulitation of the savage has its tragic survival in the self-denial that mars our lives. We are punished for our refusals. Every impulse that we strive to strangle broods in the mind, and poisons us. The body sins once, and is done with its sin, for action is a mode of purification. Nothing remains but the recollection of a pleasure, or the luxury of a regret. The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it. Resist it, and your soul grows sick with longing for the things it has forbidden to itself, with the desire for what its monstrous laws have made monstrous and unlawful. It has been said that that the great events of the world take place in the brain. It is in the brain, and the brain only, that the great sins of the world take place also. You, Mr Gray, you yourself, with your rose-red youth and your rose-white boyhood, you have had passions that have made you afraid, thoughts that have filled you with terror, day-dreams and sleeping dreams whose mere memory might stain your cheek with shame -'
- Oscar Wilde, The Picture of Dorian Gray

I often read this part over and over again, letting the words fill me. They are poisonous. I read them and think to myself why I hold back, and my morals are forgotten for a page. I love this book. It's so satirical, horrifyingly beautiful, so heart-breaking - all with a touch of gothicism. Ah, the Victorian Era. Read this book.

'You poisoned me with a book once. I should not forgive that. Harry, promise me that you will never lend that book to any one. It does harm.'
'...Art has no influence upon action. It annihilates the desire to act. It is superbly sterile. The books that the world call immoral are the books that show the world its own shame.' ]]> ~Sporenza http://Sporenza.deviantart.com/journal/9528701/ http://Sporenza.deviantart.com/journal/9528701/ Fri, 28 Jul 2006 23:57:53 PDT
Sigh...I have to decide on University...shit...

But for now, I leave you with a song that has been stuck in my head non-stop for a whole week. It's by my new band, the Dresden Dolls, called Sing.

Sing - Dresden Dolls

There is this thing that's like touching
Except you don't touch.
Back in the day it just went without saying at all.
All the world's history gradually dying of shock.
There is thing that's like talking
Except you don't talk.
You sing
You sing

Sing for the bartender
Sing for the janitor sing
Sing for the cameras
Sing for the animals sing
Sing for the children shooting the children sing
Sing for the teachers
Who told you that you couldn't sing
Just sing

There is thing keeping everyone's lungs and lips locked
It is called fear and it's seeing a great renaissance
After the show you can not sing wherever you want
But for now lets just pretend that we're gonna get bombed
So sing

Sing cause its obvious
Sing for the astronauts sing.
Sing for the president
Sing for the terrorists sing.
Sing for the soccer team
Sing for the janjaweed sing.
Sing for the kid with the phone who refuses to sing.
Just sing.

Life is no cabaret.
We don't care what you say.
We're inviting you anyway.
You motherfuckers you'll sing someday...
You motherfuckers you'll sing someday... ]]> ~Sporenza http://Sporenza.deviantart.com/journal/9485296/ http://Sporenza.deviantart.com/journal/9485296/ Tue, 25 Jul 2006 00:52:06 PDT
~silent-kitty
~massokissed

They know what I mean. But for now, off to work I trot, there's a new girl who is really cool, and then back home to finish my extension history essays...that sucks.

Mitch and Nat? ]]> ~Sporenza http://Sporenza.deviantart.com/journal/9443718/ http://Sporenza.deviantart.com/journal/9443718/ Fri, 21 Jul 2006 01:12:40 PDT I got dosed by you...closer than most to you...what am I s'posed to do...take it away I never had it anyway...take it away and everything will be okay...

I finally finished my first draft for my Extension Two Major Work. Let's see, I announced my choice to do poetry on Febuary 3rd (from my previous journal entries. I didn't just remember it), and it is now the 21st of July. 5 months. Shit.

It's three thousand words long, precisely, and one long poem, not an anthology. All that is left now is some editing and the reflection statement. But the good news is that now I can write poems for DA again! YAY! I'm so happy, it's like a weight has lifted from my shoulders.

And darn you Mitchell! When my sis called up from school I asked her to go to my locker and get my hackysack, lo and behold, it wasn't there! I hate you. I swear, I will hurt you if I don't get it back, regardless of what vendetta Natalie declares on me. I'll steal your X-Box. Don't you see you're proving Golebiewski right? The evil influence! Or you could just buy your own dammit. Like the one you bought me but never got round to giving it to me.

Meanwhile, STADIUM ARCADIUM IS ROCKING MY SOCKS OFF! Listening to it now...smiling...I get to go sailing with some friends on Sunday at Wollongong - the best city in the world. AND I heard a rumour of a Batman V Superman movie. It'd be worth it, just to see the Dark Knight kick Mr. Goody Two Shoes in the balls with his boots of kryptonite. Anyway, I'm off. See ya!

The soul is a terrible reality. It can be bought, and sold, and batered away. It can be poisoned, or made perfect.
- Oscar Wilde, The Picture of Dorian Gray ]]> ~Sporenza http://Sporenza.deviantart.com/journal/9227362/ http://Sporenza.deviantart.com/journal/9227362/ Fri, 30 Jun 2006 01:19:33 PDT To-morrow, and to-morrow, and to-morrow,
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day,
To the last syllable of recorded time;
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!
Life's but a walking shadow; a poor player,
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage,
And then is heard no more: it is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing.

- Macbeth, Act V, Scene 5. ]]> ~Sporenza http://Sporenza.deviantart.com/journal/9110923/ http://Sporenza.deviantart.com/journal/9110923/ Mon, 19 Jun 2006 00:17:58 PDT This is our last embrace, must I dream and always see your face? Le sigh (damn you and your influence Natalie!). But anyway, without further ado, my song of the moment. So lovely, so passionate, so intense, so emotional, so sad...

Originally sung by Leonard Cohen. One of the few remakes I absolutely love over the original.

HALLELUJAH - Jeff Buckley

I heard there was a secret chord
that David played and it pleased the Lord,
But you don't really care for music, do you?
Well it goes like this:
The fourth, the fifth, the minor fall and the major lift,
The baffled king composing hallelujah

Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah...

Well your faith was strong but you needed proof.
You saw her bathing on the roof,
Her beauty and the moonlight overthrough you.
She tied you to her kitchen chair,
She broke your throne and she cut your hair
And from your lips she drew the hallelujah

Baby I've been here before;
I've seen this room and I've walked this floor,
I used to live alone before I knew you.
I've seen your flag on the marble arch,
But love is not a victory march.
It's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah.

There was a time when you let me know
What's really going on below,
But now you never show that to me do you?
But remember when I moved in you,
And the holy dove was moving too?
And every breath we drew was hallelujah.

Well, maybe there's a God above,
But all I've ever learned from love
Was how to shoot somebody who outdrew you?
It's not a cry that you hear at night,
It's not somebody who's seen the light,
It's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah.

Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah... ]]> ~Sporenza http://Sporenza.deviantart.com/journal/9053667/ http://Sporenza.deviantart.com/journal/9053667/ Tue, 13 Jun 2006 05:22:17 PDT Out of this stony rubbish? Son of man,
You cannot say, or guess, for you know only
A heap of broken images, where the sun beats,
And the dead tree gives no shelter, the cricket no relief,
And the dry stone no sound of water. Only
There is shadow under this red rock,
(Come in under the shadow of this red rock),
And I will show you something different from either
Your shadow at morning striding to meet you
Or your shadow at evening rising to meet you;
I will show you fear in a handful of dust.
Frisch weht der Wind
Der Heimat zu
Mein Irisch Kind,
Wo weilest du?
'You gave me hyacinths first a year ago;
'They called me the hyacinth girl.'
- Yet when we came back, late, from the hyacinth garden,
Your arms full, and your hair wet, I could not
Speak, and my eyes failed, I was neither
Living nor dead, and I knew nothing,
Looking into the heart of light, the silence.
Oed' und leer das Meer.

My favourite part of my favourite poem, 'The Waste Land' by TS Eliot. If you have the time I highly recommed reading the poem in its entirety. Also, happy birthday to ~alquinton for Friday, 16th of June.

Non sum qualis eram. De profundis resurgam ]]> ~Sporenza http://Sporenza.deviantart.com/journal/8965734/ http://Sporenza.deviantart.com/journal/8965734/ Sun, 04 Jun 2006 05:45:35 PDT
1) Full Name: Zachary James Phillips
2) Name Backwards: Sporenza (my alter ego and opposite)
3) Were you named after anyone?: Same middle name as my Uncle Pat. He's cool.
4) Does your name mean anything?: Remembered of Jehova, English form of Jacob (a prophet), lover of horses.
5) Nick Name(s): ...cough...
6) Screen Name(s): Used to be Mathias. Now Sporenza.
7) Date Of Birth: 7th December, 1987
8) Place of Birth: Australia
9) Nationality: Australian
10) Current Location: Campbelltown, NSW
11) Sign: Saggitarius
12) Religion: Officially, Roman Catholic (shudder). But in truth...the wisdom of misdirection.
13) Height: 187cm?
14) Weight: 70kg?
15) Shoe Size: 12
16) Hair colour: Brown with a funky white birthmark.
17) Eye colour: Hazel
18) What do you look like? Like something you never want to see again.
19) Innie or Outie?: Innie
20) Righty, Lefty, or Ambidextrous?: Righty
21) Gay, Straight, Bi, or Other?: Straight.
22) Best friend(s): Natalie
23) Best friend you trust the most: Alex
24) Best friends {your sex}: Mitchell, Patrick, Rohan
25) Best friends of the Opposite Sex: Natalie, Alex, Anna
26) Best Bud(s): See question # 22 - # 25
27) Boyfriend / Girlfriend: Me? Girlfriend? Get real...
28) Crush: I refuse to allow myself such emotions.
29) Parent(s): When a man and woman like each other alot...
30) Worst Enemy: The Dahaka, the Vizier and Dr. Robotnik.
31) Favorite on-line Guy(s): SCOTT AND REEFA ARE SO RANDOMLY FUNNY
32) Favorite on-line Girl(s): You know, cause I can't pull REAL girls.
33) Funniest friend: Reefa or Pat.
34) Craziest friend: Patrick. Most definately.
35) Advice Friend: Alex and Anna.
36) Loudest Friend: Damn extroverts...
37) Person you cry with: Darkness there, and nothing more... Ie, I have not cried in ages. And with no one.

Do You Have...

38) Any sisters: Yes. Three.
39) Any brothers: Yes. Two.
40) Any pets: My dog, Terry.
41) A Disease: I think too much.
42) A Pager: No. I find they give paper cuts.
43) A Personal phone line: No official ones.
44) A Mobile: ...what year do you think it is?
45) A Lava lamp: No, but I want one.
46) A Pool or hot tub: Unfortunately not.
47) A Car: No. Don't want one either.

Describe Your...

48) Personality: Imagine a cynic watching paint dry.
49) Driving: Based on Need For Speed, very reckless, smooth and elegant and escaping the police in style.
50) Car or one you want: I want a motorbike. Suzuki Hayabusa.
51) Room: Big, messy, noisy with various posters, musical instruments and cds strewn about.
52) What’s missing?: Plant life. Wait...is mould a plant?
53) School: Shall be over soon.
54) Bed: Is a refuge lost.
55) Relationship with your parent(s): Closer to my mother than my father, though dad is much funnier. We disagree and fight a lot. I am the black sheep.

Do You

56) Believe in yourself: Actually...no. I don't.
57) Do you believe in love at first sight?: A more important question is, Do I believe in love?
58) Consider yourself a good listener: Depends what I'm listening to. If there's passion or something serious, yes.
60) Get Along with your parents: 50/50
61) Save your e-mail conversations: Ever since I got Gmail.
62) Pray: I wouldn't lower myself.
63) Believe in reincarnation: No.
64) Like to make fun of people: Yes.
65) Like to talk on the phone: I'm grateful for any contact.
66) (This question was missing...) Says Natalie. I'll sub in my own question. 66) Are you cynical? YES
67) Like to drive: I'm too laid back to drive.
68) Get motion sickness: No
69) Eat the stems of broccoli: I like broccoli.
70) Eat Chicken fingers with a fork: Who the hell eats chicken fingers? Breast or legs!
71) Dream in color: Yeah.
72) Type with your fingers on home row: Oh, there's a theory for typing now?
73) Sleep with a stuffed animal: It depends...I love my Theo, who I gave away, but Leo is just as good.

What Is…?

74) Right next to you: 'Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right. Here I am, stuck in the middle with you.' Actually, it's the Spartan Constitution, by Xenophon.
75) On the walls of your room: A RHCP poster, a dragon poster, Batman poster, Lord of the Rings poster, Bruce Lee poster, The Living End poster, a calender, Wallspace poster, an iceberg poster, a tiger poster and various newspaper/magazine pages (24, Hilary Duff (is hot),... ]]> ~Sporenza http://Sporenza.deviantart.com/journal/8849423/ http://Sporenza.deviantart.com/journal/8849423/ Mon, 22 May 2006 21:41:24 PDT
[link] To a little picture that I've fallen in love with after going through my favourites.

[link] To a poem by a friend that I've been reading over and over and it keeps on growing and growing on me. By ~silent-kitty

I've had a chance to be insane,
Asylum from the falling rain.
I've had a chance to break...

I got on the other side of tipsy the other day. I should've gone all out drunk. Anyway, lately, for the past week, maybe two, I've had the urge to write a romantic poem. I just got an image in English one day, there was a man standing in the rain in this movie, and in my mind for some reason came this girl, standing in the snow, the cold flakes blushing her cheeks red. She was amazingly stunning. Ah, I need a muse...but I'm gonna give it a try. I've tried before, but it sucked. Wish me luck.

'That is alright, that wine? ...No, I wasn't asking, 'Is it a quality wine?' I meant have ya pissed in it?' ]]> ~Sporenza http://Sporenza.deviantart.com/journal/8765829/ http://Sporenza.deviantart.com/journal/8765829/ Sun, 14 May 2006 06:55:45 PDT ~Sporenza http://Sporenza.deviantart.com/journal/8609448/ http://Sporenza.deviantart.com/journal/8609448/ Fri, 28 Apr 2006 07:23:09 PDT The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock - TS Eliot

S`io credesse che mia risposta fosse
A persona che mai tornasse al mondo,
Questa fiamma staria senza piu scosse.
Ma perciocche giammai di questo fondo
Non torno vivo alcun, s'i'odo il vero,
Senza tema d'infamia ti rispondo.

Let us go then, you and I,
When the evening is spread out against the sky
Like a patient etherized upon a table;
Let us go, through certain half-deserted streets,
The muttering retreats
Of restless nights in one-night cheap hotels
And sawdust restaurants with oyster-shells
Streets that follow like a tedious argument
Of insidious intent
To lead you to an overwhelming question...
Oh, do not ask, `` What is it? ''
Let us go and make our visit.

In the room the women come and go
Talking of Michelangelo.

The yellow fog that rubs its back upon the window-panes
The yellow smoke that rubs its muzzle on the window-panes
Licked its tongue into the corners of the evening.
Lingered upon the pools that stand in drains.
Let fall upon its back the soot that falls from chimneys.
Slipped by the terrace, made a sudden leap,
And seeing that it was a soft October night,
Curled once about the house, and fell asleep.

And indeed there will be time
For the yellow smoke that slides along the street,
Rubbing its back upon the window-panes;
There will be time, there will be time
To prepare a face to meet the faces that you meet;
There will be time to murder and create,
And time for all the works and days of hands
That lift and drop a question on your plate;
Time for you and time for me.
And time yet for a hundred indecisions,
And for a hundred visions and revisions,
Before the taking of a toast and tea.

In the room the women come and go
Talking of Michelangelo.

And indeed there will be time
To wonder, ``Do I dare?'' and, ``Do I dare?''
Time to turn back and descend the stair,
With a bald spot in the middle of my hair--
[They will say: ``How his hair is growing thin!'']
My morning coat, my collar mounting firmly to the chin,
My necktie rich and modest, but asserted by a simple pin--
[They will say: ``But how his arms and legs are thin!'']
Do I dare
Disturb the universe?
In a minute there is time
For decisions and revisions which a minute will reverse.

For I have known them all already, known them all:
Have known the evenings, mornings, afternoons,
I have measured out my life with coffee spoons;
I know the voices dying with a dying fall
Beneath the music from a farther room.
So how should I presume?

And I have known the eyes already, known them all--
The eyes that fix you in a formulated phrase,
And when I am formulated, sprawling on a pin,
When I am pinned and wriggling on the wall,
Then how should I begin
To spit out all the butt-ends of my days and ways?
And how should I presume?

And I have known the arms already, known them all--
Arms that are braceleted and white and bare
[But in the lamplight, downed with light brown hair!]
Is it perfume from a dress
That makes me so digress?
Arms that lie along a table, or wrap about a shawl.
And should I then presume?
And how should I begin?


Shall I say, I have gone at dusk through narrow streets
And watched the smoke that rises from the pipes
Of lonely men in shirt-sleeves, leaning out of windows? . . .

I should have been a pair of ragged claws
Scuttling across the floors of silent seas.


And the afternoon, the evening, sleeps so peacefully!
Smoothed by long fingers,
Asleep. . . tired . . . or it malingers,
Stretched on the floor, here beside you and me.
Should I, after tea and cakes and ices,
Have the strength to force the moment to its crisis?
But though I have wept and fasted, wept and prayed,
Though I have seen my head [grown slightly bald] brought in upon a platter,
I am no prophet--and here's no great matter;
I have seen the moment of my greatness flicker,
And I have seen the eternal Footman hold my coat, and snicker,
And in short, I was afraid.

And would it have been worth it, after all,
After the cups, the marmalade, the tea,
Among the porcelain, among some talk of you and me,
Would it have been worth while,
To have bitten off the matter w... ]]> ~Sporenza http://Sporenza.deviantart.com/journal/8423198/ http://Sporenza.deviantart.com/journal/8423198/ Mon, 10 Apr 2006 00:50:12 PDT
I would like to wish ~memory-junkie a happy birthday for the 11th of April. So I will. Happy birthday. I'm glad I've gotten to know you little better.

I get to go and see The Mountain Goats soon, on the 19th. I can't wait. I'm really in an acoustic rock/folk music phase lately, so they'll really quench that thirst.

My latest deviation, Ego Suicide...I'd like to thank you all who read it and commented. It means a lot. I'm addicted to it now. I keep on adding to it again and again...

Everyone's in the corner,
Face to the wall,
I never could be this way,
And I never will at all.
Great is my confusion,
It never lets me be.
No one said to be here,
I was punished by me.

As long as there is laughter, there is hope. I think I'll make that my own personal saying. It sounds very much like something I'd say...disregarding the fact that I did. But...still...

Sorry for all the times I've made it worse, and not helped at all. Sorry for all the times I've failed.

This Easter I'm home alone with my slightly cooler and slightly more attractive (well, actually, better looking and way cooler) elder brother this Easter. It'll be great. I get to eat meat on Good Friday. And we'll both have port and watch good movies and the house will be full of music. The rest of my family is going to Nyngan, where most of my relatives live. Hopefully we'll do something fun. I feel like whipping out my acoustic and playing a cool chord progression...I'll take my leave now.

Do not be afraid. There cannot be shadows unless there is a light. ]]> ~Sporenza http://Sporenza.deviantart.com/journal/8339481/ http://Sporenza.deviantart.com/journal/8339481/ Sun, 02 Apr 2006 01:22:56 PST
And now, a challenge.

Finds morals, and then abide by them. ]]> ~Sporenza http://Sporenza.deviantart.com/journal/8300930/ http://Sporenza.deviantart.com/journal/8300930/ Wed, 29 Mar 2006 02:52:52 PST excellent article I read in today's paper. Not the tabloids. Avoid those like the plague. It was in The Australian. Speaking of the tabloids, I saw a really cool shirt a few months back. It had on the front Is That True, Or Did You Read It In The Telegraph? (note; for all readers from abroad, The Daily Telegraph is NSW's tabloid newspaper (note; NSW is New South Wales. A state of Australia (note; Australia is that weird looking country on the Southern Hempisphere, the Island Continent (note; The Southern Hemisphere, aka, the lower half of the globe (note, that round hard ball that is a map of the Earth. Trust me on that. It IS the Earth)))))

[link]

2) I am REALLY looking forward to seeing V For Vendetta. I have a hunch my friends are seeing on Friday without me. I work on Fridays, and I really need money but only get two shifts a week now. I'm pulling in $80 bucks a week now (note; bucks = dollars). Bastards. But I'll just probably go see it with Anna when I see her again in the holidays. Also, I'm kinda pissed. If it weren't for U2 pulling out, I'd be seeing them this Friday.

3) A first sign of the beginning of understanding is the wish to die
- Kafka ]]> ~Sporenza http://Sporenza.deviantart.com/journal/8267681/ http://Sporenza.deviantart.com/journal/8267681/ Sat, 25 Mar 2006 17:57:29 PST
At the moment I'm writing another part to my little Michael story, and I love this one. To me the every word resonates with pure anger. See if you can guess where this one will lead...la la la...persuasion and temptation...the offer of a release.

Anyway...I'm gonna go an see a play, The Importance Of Being Earnest, by Oscar Wilde tonight with my friend (that's right, I only have one) and some of her family. Get my mind off things...ah Oscar...you're the best.

I write to express my emotion. It is the safest way.

There is nothing sadder than drowning in self pity and refusing to accept any responsibility.

'Sticking feathers up your butt does NOT make you a chicken.'

Laughter is the greatest gift and weapon of mankind.

We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.

For lack of a better term, my 'gods' are Lucifer and Lucifuge, and they are symbolic.

Now...off to the show...

I love all of you
Hurt by the cold.
So hard and lonely too
When you don't know yourself.
- 'My Friends', RHCP ]]> ~Sporenza http://Sporenza.deviantart.com/journal/8203186/ http://Sporenza.deviantart.com/journal/8203186/ Sun, 19 Mar 2006 01:39:05 PST She's running to the hills again,
Can you tell me if she'll ever return?
She must be Mother Nature's child
'Cause she's running to the call of the wild.
She's talking to the trees again,
Telling me that she's one of them.
She's staring at the bird in a tree,
Is she ever gonna notice me?
- Colossal, Wolfmother.

I love that song. It rocks. Epically. And if I ever meet that girl I am likely to fall in love right away. Hmm...I have to do an essay and biology thingy for tomorrow. But hopefully this shan't take long. Hmm...I don't really know what to say. I have nothing of importance. I have emotions, philosophy, dreams, ambitions, aspirations, desires, but nothing of relevance.

Well, 'Ego Amo Tu' was nerve wracking. I didn't want to put it up, but I'm glad I have. God it scared me. That was exposing myself to the max. Well, I was feeling angry, lonely and betrayed at the time but the words still echo a certain truth to me.

The days have turned away from me,
The lights no longer shine on my head...

Someone once told me that writing is not an art. I disagree. It is the purest form of art there is. Words can be interpreted in ways that pictures or paintings (no offence) could never be. The truest writers spell beauty with every word. They force you to explore you innermost soul and discover a new sense of truth. They can create and they can take. They can make your deepest pleasures come true with a whisper, or if need be, turn it into your greatest fear. They are the gods. They can giveth or they can taketh away. They are philosophers, the givers of life. They can destroy your mind or strengthen its walls. The true writers write about univeral feelings. Writing is the most powerful art. Wars have been fought over writings.

Do not insult a writer. It may be the last thing you do.

Wanna see a cool painting? [link] ]]> ~Sporenza http://Sporenza.deviantart.com/journal/8089273/ http://Sporenza.deviantart.com/journal/8089273/ Mon, 06 Mar 2006 23:42:51 PST
At The Bottom Of Everything - Bright Eyes

We must talk in every telephone,
Get eaten off the web.
Rip out all of the epilogues
From the books that we have read.
And in the face of every criminal
Strapped firmly to a chair,
We must stare,
We must stare,
We must stare.

We must take all of the medicines
To expensive now to sell.
Set fire to the preacher
Who is promising us Hell.
And in the ear of every anarchist
That sleeps but doesn't dream,
We must sing,
We must sing,
We must sing.

While my mother waters plants
My father loads his gun.
He says 'Death will bring us back to God,
Just like this setting sun
Is returned to the lonesome ocean.'

We must blend into the choir,
Sing as static with the whole.
We must memorise nine numbers
And deny we have a soul.
And in this endless race for property
And privilege to be won,
We must run,
We must run,
We must run.

We must hang up in the belfry
Where the bats and moonlight laugh.
We must stare into a crystal ball
And only see the past.
And in the caverns of tomorrow
With just our flashlights and our love,
We must plunge,
We must plunge,
We must plunge.

Oh my morning's coming back,
The whole world's raising up.
In the city buses are swimming past.
I'm happy just because
I found out I'm really no one. ]]> ~Sporenza http://Sporenza.deviantart.com/journal/7948167/ http://Sporenza.deviantart.com/journal/7948167/ Sun, 19 Feb 2006 23:07:38 PST
This, my friends, is my favourite song of all time.

SOUL TO SQUEEZE- Red Hot Chili Peppers

I've got a bad disease.
Up from my brain is where I bleed.
Insanity it seems
Has got me by my soul to squueze.

Where's all the love for me?
With all these dying trees I scream.
The angels in my dreams
Have turned to demons of greed
That's me

Where I go I just don't know...
I got to gotta gotta take it slow.
When I find my peace of mind
I'm gonna give you some of my good time.

Today love smiled on me
And took away my pain said please.
All that you ride be free.
You got to let it be your friend.

Where I go I just don't know...
I gotta gotta got to take it slow.
When I find my peace of mind
I'm gonna give you some of my good time.

Oh so polite indeed,
Well I've got everything I need.
Oh make my days a breeze
And take away my self destruction.

It's bitter baby and it's very sweet,
I'm on a rollercoaster but I'm on my feet.
Take me to the river let me on your shore,
I'll be coming back baby,
I'll be coming back for more.

I will not forget, but I cannot remember,
I said my pleasures are much better
And I won't regret it ever!

Where I go I just don't know...
I got to got to gotta take it slow.
When I find my peace of mind,
I'm gonna give you some of my good time.

Where I go I just don't know...
I might end up somewhere in Mexico.
When I find my peace of mind,
I'm gonna keep it till the end of time. ]]> ~Sporenza http://Sporenza.deviantart.com/journal/7870429/ http://Sporenza.deviantart.com/journal/7870429/ Sun, 12 Feb 2006 03:47:58 PST Sing For Absolution - Muse

Lips are turning blue
A kiss that can't renew
I only dream of you
My beautiful

Tip toe to your room
A starlight in the gloom
I only dream of you
And you never knew

Sing for absolution
I will be singing
And falling from your grace

There's no where left to hide
In no one to confide
The truth burns deep inside
And will never die

Lips are turning blue
A kiss that can't renew
I only dream of you
My beautiful

Sing for absolution
I will be singing
Falling from your grace

Sing for absolution
I will be singing
Falling from your grace

Now wrongs remain unrectified
And our souls won't be exhumed ]]> ~Sporenza http://Sporenza.deviantart.com/journal/7786993/ http://Sporenza.deviantart.com/journal/7786993/ Fri, 03 Feb 2006 04:08:04 PST ZACORP; according to Einstein's Theory of Relativity, we bankrupted you yesterday!

Mood: Pissed and Peaceful
Listening to: Failure 33Object
Reading: Dante's Inferno
Watching: Batman Begins

Well, DA chose me to have a free one week subscription...I'm not sure why, but I'm still exploring. It's actually kinda cool.

But I should use this oppurtunity to wish ~silent-kitty a happy birthday for Sunday. Happy birthday chickadee. Love you lots, you lava lamp owning be-atch. Is there a cake smiley? Let's find out

Anyway, my last year at school, I do Extension 2 English, and for my extended piece I have decided to do extended poetry. That's 4 000 words I think. I'm not even sure if that's as long as The Waste Land...but that means that my poetic efforts will be going into the giant poem, so DA may be left out for a while. I'd submit it in scraps, but then I may be suspect for plagarism. I think this means that I'll submit more prose, and you guys will have to learn to love it.

But I'm looking forward to this poem. I'm using TS Eliot's 'The Waste Land', Dante's Divine Comedy (particulary 'Inferno'), and The Picture Of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde as the basis for the work. It'll be set out in different peices, chapters if you will, like '...Waste Land', have a protagonist and guide viewing evil and punishment like 'Inferno' and use the idea of unreachable redemption, which Dorian realises in Oscar Wilde's work. Okay, it sounds boring but I love it. So many allusions...my mind overloads just by thinking it. But when I get it back, I'll submit. Be patient my friends.

And as we wind on down the road,
Our shadows taller than our souls... ]]> ~Sporenza http://Sporenza.deviantart.com/journal/7756727/ http://Sporenza.deviantart.com/journal/7756727/ Mon, 30 Jan 2006 22:44:19 PST
School is gonna suck this year. It's my final year, so the workload will be huge. My little sister starts this year (it was bad enough with my little brother), my mother works there and now my big sister has a job there. Awkwardness anyone? Really, school is an escape from my family, just like home is an escape from school...except the work. That stuff just follows you everywhere. But just a few more months...but then I have to decide what to do next. I can't think of any real job I would like to do. Ever since I was a child I've wanted to be an author, but I'm pretty sure that that's a hard industry to make it in. So I'll probably go to university to study some crappy thing and get a crappy job. This year marks the beginning of the end.

Damn I wish my friends were 18 already. I'm going to the Mountain Goats pub gig in April with my big brother (the cool one) and his friends. I'll be lonered, but I'll have the music. See, I would love to go to a pub gig with my friends. It would rock.

Oh, and Ne Cede Malis is now finished. If you thought my poems were long, check this one out. It's a beast. Now I'm off to listen to Muse...

Sing for absolution... ]]> ~Sporenza http://Sporenza.deviantart.com/journal/7737363/ http://Sporenza.deviantart.com/journal/7737363/ Sun, 29 Jan 2006 01:18:23 PST
We met the brothers who shot arrows
And shot assumptions wide and narrow.

But news...gossip...none really. A friend rocked up drunk on my doorstep...went to a Halo LAN which kicked ass...I bought breakfast for 15+ people, all McDonald's hotcakes and one big breakfast. The most expensive meal I've bought came from Maccas. Is that wrong?...rediscovered my rock roots...spent Australia Day listen to JJJ Top 100 Countdown...um...yeah my life is boring. But I love my friends and spontaneous moments. Like mass ordering hotcakes. It was worth it.

Oh and I've done some more work on Ne Cede Malis, and I've changed the narrator from Anne to Michael.

And friggin school starts up soon. Just three more terms, just three more terms...I'll hate the work, but it will be good seeing my friends five days a week (if they turn up) again ]]> ~Sporenza http://Sporenza.deviantart.com/journal/7653326/ http://Sporenza.deviantart.com/journal/7653326/ Thu, 19 Jan 2006 23:02:04 PST
My girl, my girl, where have you gone?
Tell me where did you sleep last night?
In the past, in the past, where the sun don't ever shine,
I would shiver the whole night through.
My girl my girl, where did you go?
I went where the cold wind blows.
- Where Did You Sleep Last Night (covered by Nirvana)

Thus the title of the journey.

Anyway, I just realised the awesome power of the past. It never dies...Jeez. I was looking over this piece of writing from ages ago, and I was (quite simply) filled with rage. I wanted to throttle the person who wrote it and dismember their corpse. Then I thought 'Wow, but that was ages ago.' Then I played some Muse. God dammit, just reading it got me so angry...me feels a new poem on the rise.

But isn't it amazing that something from so long ago can have so much power, even though it's dead. The past cannot be changed, so why do people cling to it? Unachievable dreams can't be realised, so why do we aspire to them? Too many people live in the past and in their desires.

But that's just me, and I could be wrong... ]]> ~Sporenza http://Sporenza.deviantart.com/journal/7617463/ http://Sporenza.deviantart.com/journal/7617463/ Mon, 16 Jan 2006 06:26:37 PST
[link]

Now then, I thought I should explain my DA name, Sporenza. It's quite simple really. You see, I admire Oscar Wilde. The man was a genius in the way he acted, spoke and wrote. He is one of the few people I think mankind is at a loss to lose. But anyway, his mother was a poet, and wrote under the pseudonym, Speranza. So, I figured my pseudonym could be, should be and would be a play on that name. Therefore, Sporenza. I think it's a very playful name, but it flows and sounds so mystical. I really like it. But, anyway, that is the story behind it.

And now, if you don't mind, it's 1:00am. I am going to play Prince of Persia; The Two Thrones. God, I love that game.

Oh, and for those of you who have never seen me, and have wondered what I look like, damed sexy or downright ugly, here are some pics by Silent-Kitty [link] and Massokissed [link]

1) At a fancy dress party. I went as a Reservoir Dog, and yes, it is a fake gun...sigh...Oh, and Zacorp is my company of Tyrany. [link]
2) Same party. [link]
3) Gore. Same pic as 1), but with gore and attitude. [link] ]]> ~Sporenza http://Sporenza.deviantart.com/journal/7579028/ http://Sporenza.deviantart.com/journal/7579028/ Wed, 11 Jan 2006 23:14:16 PST
I know I do this a lot, and you must get sick of it, but songs are a great form of expression. All art is. Anyway, this is a perfect song for how I feel at this present moment in time. There is one part (When I feel I've got problems, how wrong I am) that I've been trying to decode for ages. Is he being sarcastic and saying
1) I have problems no less real than you, or
2) I actually have it pretty good. I'm just over-reacting.

Anyway. Here it is.

The Days Have Turned - John Frusciante

The days have turned away from me.
The lights no longer shine on my head.
And people turn away from me.
No more do they look to me with respect.

Well, I know now,
It's the first time.
That was fun
Now from life I've resigned.
When I feel I've got problems
How wrong I am.
I'm awaiting life as another man
Don't crowd me.

There's riddles in the shadows.
They're thrown the way that I'd expect.
And people never seem to know,
What they least suspect is coming next.
Well it seems like times elapsed,
And I've stabbed life in the back,
I'm searching for what it means
To never be anything.

And I know now
It's the first time that was fun,
Now from life I've resigned.
When I feel I've got problems
How wrong I am.
I'm awaiting life as another man. ]]> ~Sporenza http://Sporenza.deviantart.com/journal/7528329/ http://Sporenza.deviantart.com/journal/7528329/ Fri, 06 Jan 2006 16:38:25 PST
Anyway, I am in a Batman mood. His cape is second to none. NONE! NOONE HAS A BETTER CAPE THAN BATMAN! But I bought Batman Begins the other day. Oh God there are so many cool lines from him and his trainer. I won't get into them before I just quote the whole movie. But this is from the first Batman movie. It's what the Joker says before he kills someone.

"Have you ever danced with the Devil in the pale moonlight?"

Of course Batty uses that line too before he fights Joker and sends him off Gotham Cathedral.

In conlcusion; Batman kicks ass. He is tortured by his past and as the coolest aura. He is the best and truest hero ever. He doesn't need powers and he isn't scared of some crappy rock. He's a ninja! ]]> ~Sporenza http://Sporenza.deviantart.com/journal/7505402/ http://Sporenza.deviantart.com/journal/7505402/ Wed, 04 Jan 2006 05:25:30 PST - Bono

It reminded me of this, uttered 200 years earlier.

"One should be careful when dealing with monsters that one doesn't become a monster oneself. And when you gaze long into the abyss, the abyss gazes back."
- Nietzsche

When you gaze long into the abyss, the abyss gazes back...

Absolutely terrifying, isn't it. The tone and image and sound of that bit gives me the shivers. The abyss is alive... ]]> ~Sporenza http://Sporenza.deviantart.com/journal/7446225/ http://Sporenza.deviantart.com/journal/7446225/ Thu, 29 Dec 2005 06:48:54 PST
ZACORP: By reading this you are now property of Zacorp. We own you and all your possessions! ]]> ~Sporenza http://Sporenza.deviantart.com/journal/7436874/ http://Sporenza.deviantart.com/journal/7436874/ Wed, 28 Dec 2005 03:30:02 PST Vindicated - Dashboard Confessional


Hope dangles on a string
Like slow spinning redemption
Winding in and winding out
The shine of it has caught my eye

And roped me in
So, mesmerizing and so hypnotizing,
I am captivated, I am

Vindicated
I am selfish
I am wrong
I am right
I swear I'm right
Swear I knew it all along
And I am flawed,
But I am cleaning up so well
I am seeing in me now
The things you swore you saw yourself

So clear
Like the diamond in your ring
Cut to mirror your intention
Oversized and overwhelmed
The shine of which has caught my eye
And rendered me
So isolated,and so motivated
I am certain now that I am

Vindicated,
I am selfish,
I am wrong.
I am right,
I swear I'm right.
I swear I knew it all along.
I am flawed,
But I am cleaning up so well.
I am seeing in me now,
The things you swore you saw yourself.

So turn
up the corners of your lips
Part them and feel my finger tips
Trace the moment, fall forever

Defense is paper thin
Just one touch and I'll be in
Too deep now to ever swim against the current
So let me slip away
So let me slip away
So let me slip away
So let me slip against the current
So let me slip away
So let me slip away
So let me slip away
So let me slip away

Vindicated,
I am selfish,
I am wrong.
I am right,
I swear I'm right.
I swear I knew it all along.
I am flawed,
But I am cleaning up so well.
I am seeing in me now
The things you swore you saw as well.

Slight hope
Dangles on a string
Like slow spinning redemption...

There it is. I hope you like it cause I sure do. And I wrote this on a forty degree day (that's celsius, or 104 degrees Fahrenheit {did I spell that right?}. I love Australian summers. Really.) and was sweating from just sitting here. ]]> ~Sporenza http://Sporenza.deviantart.com/journal/7398839/ http://Sporenza.deviantart.com/journal/7398839/ Sat, 24 Dec 2005 04:12:18 PST
Once a year, and once a year only, my sworn enemy, Western Civilisation, becomes shrouded with everything that is good, except commercialism. It's late Christmas Eve and the striking peace here has just struck me. Everyone is eager and there are nearly no negative feelings anywhere. The peace has come on at last. It's a shame people only get this way once a year. The joy of giving is fantastic.

And so I've reflected upon the year...too much has happened too quickly. Things passed me by before I could recognise them, things changed before I could understand them, but everything is transient. I've changed, but I'm not sure whether for better or worse.

To my friends, thankyou for honouring me with your presence. I enjoyed every moment I spent with you, cause I was feeling some kind of emotion. I'm better for having known you.

To my new found friends on Deviant Art, thankyou for every bit of encouragement. It's hard to share poetry, because it always releases an emotion so raw and real and truthful to you. You can only write your truth in poetry, and that's why it's so hard to share. I would like to personally thank Mystik Angel [link] for being my first fan and for all the encouragement and favourites she has given to me, Fenrirs Follower [link] for always making me smile with his comments on my poetry and only seeing the positives in while overlooking its flaws, HP Lovecraft [link] for constantly amazing my mind with his young one. God bless us poets, for trying to open minds and doors and keeping a dying art alive.

Thankyou to everyone on Deviant Art for sharing their work with me.

To Alex Quinton, my editor, for helping me add some polish to my works. [link]
To Mitchell, for giving me my avatar (where's my other pic?) and the sarcastic humour. His art isn't my type, but art has only one purpose, to be beautiful and have meaning, and so I can appreciate it on every level but taste. [link]
To Patrick, for some awesomely symbolic and beautiful pics and keeping me sane with his insanity. [link]
To Natalie, for listening, caring, understanding and a lot of other things. Inadvertantly, you've made me discover a lot about myself, and have helped get one step closer to enlightenment. She is the person responsible for my opening an account here on DA, so all my fans should check her out, out of respect. Also, for the art. [link]

Thankyou to everyone who has looked at, commented on and favourited my work. It means a lot to me. Never underestimate the power of encouragement.

And so, if I've forgotten anything or anyone, I sincerly apologise.

Have a very merry Christmas, while I have my peaceful one. May you all find some form of peace, and the three redeeming features of mankind; art, humour and love. ]]> ~Sporenza http://Sporenza.deviantart.com/journal/7389124/ http://Sporenza.deviantart.com/journal/7389124/ Fri, 23 Dec 2005 05:39:37 PST
It sounds gay, but whenever I feel like I can't go on (mentally, physically, emotionally...grammatically...) I just think of the Spartans and the example they have set us and it makes me go one step further.

The first stanza of the poem I actually did in my head to the tune of The Battle of Evermore by Led Zeppelin.

I hear the horses thunder
Down in the valley below.
I'm waiting for the Angels of Avalon
Waiting for the eastern glow

became

I hear the cry of Sparta
Down in the valley below.
I stand upon the Mountain of Wolves
Listening to the faint war cry. ]]> ~Sporenza http://Sporenza.deviantart.com/journal/7376758/ http://Sporenza.deviantart.com/journal/7376758/ Wed, 21 Dec 2005 20:06:05 PST
Learning there’s nothing to gain from advice
Hey doubt, com on around any time
Anyhow mistakes are what lead you through life
Down and out’s only if you think up and in’s right

I’ve gone along with the sins that are versions of you
But guidelines were all i had time to get through
It’s like reading of love that’s gone wrong
If time was laid out like that everything would occur at once

And all the laws were laid down twice
And the clouds were doubled in the sky
And being tall meant lacking height
And being wrong was being right

You’re perfect you fit snuggly right in the lie
One host is going to teach how to die
Lay down the darkness tonight is so bright
Reasons there’s one for each time cars collide

I hear that telling moments divide
And the only important moments are the in between times
And being confused is an exercise
I’m missing your thoughts tonight
But we reach out to what’s out of our sight ]]> ~Sporenza http://Sporenza.deviantart.com/journal/7360560/ http://Sporenza.deviantart.com/journal/7360560/ Tue, 20 Dec 2005 05:00:27 PST
GO SPARTA!

And FF, your poem will be done soon. ]]> ~Sporenza