deviantART: by:Starkadder

deviantART: by:Starkadder http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:Starkadder&section=today deviantART RSS for by:Starkadder en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Fri, 18 Dec 2009 05:49:08 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png December update http://Starkadder.deviantart.com/journal/28770648/ http://Starkadder.deviantart.com/journal/28770648/ Sat, 05 Dec 2009 16:32:26 PST
My contract with With a Twist was extended till the 23rd, very cool. Might possibly be working 7 day work weeks, but so far that hasn't come about. I'm still loving it there, but the drive has gotten a little harder/longer with snow flurries. *shakes fist at snow flurries*

Birthday was an absolute blast, Thanksgiving with Andrew's family was really nice, so was ours in Indiana the following weekend, tho I missed my sweetheart something awful. Went to see Jeff Daniels with my Rew and his family last night, which was probably the best comedy show I've seen to date. So now I just have the rest of today and tomorrow to reboot before another long work week. I got a few new movies while out christmas shopping, so it might be a movie and fushigi yugi weekend ^_^

I got nearly all my christmas shopping done, there's just a few more little things that still need getting, and my own christmas list will be posted soon for those of you who need and like that sort of thing, my parents included

I've still been enjoying my rp writing and such, tho I'm taking a small break for the holiday, not to say I won't post, but I'm not as dedicated I guess till after things simmer down a little bit. I'm still working on fanart stuff, though admittedly I haven't touched it for months since most of my motivation is derived from the thread it's from and that's gone epically dormant with the unexplained absence of a particular player.

I've had L4D2 for 4 days now, haven't played it. I'm starting to wonder if I ever will. Maybe it's too early to tell.

Where the Wild Things Are and Fantistic Mister Fox are awesome, go see them.

o/

]]> ~Starkadder 8 am on a Sunday http://Starkadder.deviantart.com/journal/28212000/ http://Starkadder.deviantart.com/journal/28212000/ Sun, 08 Nov 2009 06:46:26 PST
Today, my first and only day off before another 6 day work week, I would like to dedicate to cleaning my room and birthday shopping, also probably cleaning a little bit of the house for company next weekend when we will be throwing a birthday party for my mom and I on the one day off I have from work again next weekend. It's hard to enjoy knowing I'm going to be 28 next week. I feel like the numbers between 25 and 30 are just kind of dreaded. 30 years is a pretty profound marker in one's life to observe what you have accomplished in that amount of time. I now understand the struggle my Uncle Mike has at 40, still job hunting, still dating. Guess ya gotta reach that age to understand it. Being younger I never thought about growing any older than 23. Now you start looking at numbers that you remember celebrating for your parents' birthdays years back. It's a little scary, but not in the "growing old" sense, more in the "god where am I in my life" sort of way. I look forward to it none the less, even though I know it, as well as other holidays this time of year, are going to be short and sweet with very little fanfare. It's just going to be that sort of year this year. I expect it and have peace with it. Next year I'm sure will be different, as all years are. Some are remembered, some kind of just... go by.

This morning I've been thinking about presents I would like, a little self indulgence before the day of errands and chores begins. I found a tea set I like ([link]), and I always need a big flatscreen tv since the one I have actually needs a cable converter box which I'm sure I'll never bother to get. Any Vera Bradley that's Mod Floral Pink I would totally adore, but those are always expensive. It's the one actual name brand thing I'm into. Adele Sessler's Wars of Avenon book that I'm pretty sure isn't in stores. I would like P90X that I can play in a DVD player. And I suppose anything else will come to me as I think more throughout the day. Still need new pants and shirts, my wardrobe is gettin a lil dated since college... ALSO!!! If anyone is feeling GENEROUS! I really miss my Subscribed Account here on DA

I really REALLY want to do some roleplaying on my forum or on any other forum for that matter. Getting someone to post as regularly as I try to has proven a failed expectation. I just really like to write, build relationships between characters, and just have a good time. It's been my favorite pastime these days. So much so that I've started making new OCs again, which I haven't done for a good year or so. So many ppl are so busy it's difficult to keep a thread going anymore. Why is it I seem to have so much time even though I have maybe 4 hrs of time to spend for myself any given day these last 2 weeks? Guess it's just the difference between what ppl enjoy doing in their free time. I like to be on the computer being creative by either writing or drawing or having good conversations with my friends. Others I know don't hang around their computer so much. Makes me sound kinda...unsociable? *shrug* Pretty sure I'm just attracted to talking to friends on here. I almost like it more than phones because I can keep records that I can revisit later, peruse old conversations ya know? Otherwise I don't always remember the things ppl said. This always feels more permanent to me. Course that's just me.

Anyway, my day awaits! Time to get movin and enjoying the day. I have quite a bit of it to spend being up so early ^_^'

]]> ~Starkadder First Day of Work http://Starkadder.deviantart.com/journal/27980687/ http://Starkadder.deviantart.com/journal/27980687/ Mon, 26 Oct 2009 15:54:49 PDT
One hour drive one way is going to take some getting used to. More so than the start at 8am part amazingly.

8 hrs a day, 6 days a week. Bring it on.

]]> ~Starkadder I get by with a little help from my Friends http://Starkadder.deviantart.com/journal/27631839/ http://Starkadder.deviantart.com/journal/27631839/ Wed, 07 Oct 2009 11:56:14 PDT
My Portfolio Site

Most of all I want to thank Andrew for taking the time to show me the ropes of Dreamweaver, Flash, and working with my FTP. I worked really hard 3 days straight to get the bare bones up and I couldn't have done it without your expertise, direction and encouragement. Thanks so much sweety.

Also want to make a shout out to Tom for his supply of awesome links that have helped me out with my html knowledge. Got me through a few stitches is this crazy process.

I also want to thank people who I've talked to over the last few days. I've hit the winter blues hard with this consistent overcast and rainy weather, so every small amount of conversation has helped me through, be it about job hunting or anything else, it's all made a difference.

I look forward to posting more deviations this coming fall/winter, so keep an eye out!

]]> ~Starkadder Website is UP! http://Starkadder.deviantart.com/journal/27504281/ http://Starkadder.deviantart.com/journal/27504281/ Thu, 01 Oct 2009 18:05:15 PDT
Next up is Resume tabs and flash work.

[link]

**Demo Reel has been added!
(let me know if load times are decent)

]]> ~Starkadder Moving forward http://Starkadder.deviantart.com/journal/27223253/ http://Starkadder.deviantart.com/journal/27223253/ Tue, 15 Sep 2009 08:02:46 PDT
So it's been good and I feel great. You really can't take for granted friends that are local. You just can't.

]]> ~Starkadder Donuts http://Starkadder.deviantart.com/journal/26649413/ http://Starkadder.deviantart.com/journal/26649413/ Mon, 17 Aug 2009 12:20:08 PDT I know I do
Everybody loves donuts so
Lets eat just one or two

Everybody loves donuts
I know I do
everybody loves donuts so
you and I should share a few

donut
go nuts oh
donuts
go nuts oh
donuts
go nuts oh
donuts
go nuts

[if you own an x-box, get Splosion Man]

]]> ~Starkadder Summer continues http://Starkadder.deviantart.com/journal/26579049/ http://Starkadder.deviantart.com/journal/26579049/ Thu, 13 Aug 2009 21:47:16 PDT [link]), but it's the home that needs to be built and I want to use illustrations along with some other aesthetic designs to run it all. :3

]]> ~Starkadder Summer Begins http://Starkadder.deviantart.com/journal/25482319/ http://Starkadder.deviantart.com/journal/25482319/ Mon, 22 Jun 2009 20:02:16 PDT

Gallery | Blog | Contact

So for those of you who don't get to chat at me regularly, lots has been going on. I'm out of work, job hunting, spending time with Andrew in Bay City, and working with my dad to earn my stay at home and pay off my bills. This includes mowing lawns mostly, but also cleaning gutters, painting doors, landscaping odd jobs, and any other handyman job I get handed to me. I'm reading the book "Lamb" and just got done reading "The Five Love Languages" by Gary Chapman. Very good btw and I would recommend it to all of you in or seeking a relationship. Hell it's just a good read and good info, read it if you can. I got it for 25 cents at a garage sale. 200 pgs, I read it in 3 hours.

In other news I've been playing Warhammer Online and Sims 3, just got some refund checks in the mail (very nice surprise)and my daily to-do list keeps growing and shrinking in regular intervals keeping me relatively busy. I've joined a LiveJournal community called St Edelweiss playing the character Prince Nuada. That's been a lot of fun, but I've since lost some interest, not sure why, maybe because the logs run so slow

Andrew is going to be in a play and I was able to join him at one of his practices, watched a bit and helped cut out material for costumes, that was a great experience and glimpse at how all that goes down. I've never been involved in a play, but I love helping practice lines and watching how the director moves things along and manipulates what happens on stage. It's like a painting: you have an idea of what you want it to look like, but it's while you're painting that you get the good ideas and hash out the details. Really cool to watch.

Plus my subscription here is going to run out soon, I don't think I'm going to renew. There just isn't as much of a difference from paid and non-paid members anymore. I dunno, we'll see if I can stand it...

Congrats to Jcat for graduating!!! Can't imagine what's going to come next!

And still gathering data for a new demo reel. I've submitted some scraps from my sketchbook, but nothing deviation worthy. I'm struggling to do any real art lately. At least I still keep up with the writing now and then.

Hope the rest of you are doing well!! I miss you all and wish I could drive all over to visit on a whim, but till I get a job that's an investment I can't quite afford these days. So k.i.t. any way you can!!! Love you guys!

]]> ~Starkadder Freelance http://Starkadder.deviantart.com/journal/24750863/ http://Starkadder.deviantart.com/journal/24750863/ Thu, 14 May 2009 09:17:08 PDT
It was a lot of fun hanging out at Ken and Kyle's and playing with Lily and watching FMA.

I have a commission coming up! YAY! I have to have it done by June 12th, and my estimate is 16 hrs, perhaps a little shorter or a little longer depending on detail or manipulation of surroundings. It's going to be an emotive portrait. ^_^ I'm excited about that.

Also excited to go back home. I get to see Andrew this weekend, and my sister's wedding is next week + parties and more straightening up of my room perhaps.

Congrats to Jeremy on his graduation day today! Woohoo!! Way to finish strong! And good luck at the student exhibition!! May all your works sell and bring you moneys!!

]]> ~Starkadder move complete http://Starkadder.deviantart.com/journal/24734187/ http://Starkadder.deviantart.com/journal/24734187/ Wed, 13 May 2009 08:56:56 PDT
Have to tell you though, I was WORN OUT! I'd been filling boxes since wednesday and then had to attempt to set up my room in functional order with what will stay out and what will get put away in storage. I think my sister and I came up with a pretty good layout.

Mother's Day on sunday was busy too! I made my mom and edible bouquet of strawberries, grape skewers, and pineapple flowers just like the real deal. Took 3 hours to prepare and arrange it all. Craziness! It looked really nice though and was a big hit.

Now I'm back at work doing freelance till thursday, then I get to see my hunny and spend some time together before the next crazy week of continuing the setup of my room + wedding. Then maybe after that there will be some more work ready for me. Here's hoping!

As far as personal stuff goes I've been doing relatively well. Not super awesome like my first few weeks off because now I'm feeling lazy and not too motivated to do much more than just organize and get my life settled and comfortable again. I don't handle rapid change very well, it puts me in kind of a daze.

]]> ~Starkadder I need help Moving!! http://Starkadder.deviantart.com/journal/24618966/ http://Starkadder.deviantart.com/journal/24618966/ Wed, 06 May 2009 13:48:18 PDT
]]> ~Starkadder $$ for some video! http://Starkadder.deviantart.com/journal/24574426/ http://Starkadder.deviantart.com/journal/24574426/ Sun, 03 May 2009 20:58:29 PDT
also...if you have a digital camcorder....we would love you to use that instead of our OLD one

]]> ~Starkadder Latest OC fanart http://Starkadder.deviantart.com/journal/23667013/ http://Starkadder.deviantart.com/journal/23667013/ Thu, 12 Mar 2009 20:10:18 PDT
]]> ~Starkadder I'm gonna be an Auntie! http://Starkadder.deviantart.com/journal/23622582/ http://Starkadder.deviantart.com/journal/23622582/ Tue, 10 Mar 2009 07:57:22 PDT
That means I have 2 months to lose 10-20 lbs! XD

She's been in school in Chicago to get her master's degree in Psychology, so that's going to be put on hold probably after this next semester. They'll actually let her take a year off and then rejoin the program where she left off, so that's pretty awesome.

She's home for spring break, so we have a lot of sister time planned

]]> ~Starkadder Taxes http://Starkadder.deviantart.com/journal/23605241/ http://Starkadder.deviantart.com/journal/23605241/ Mon, 09 Mar 2009 07:56:17 PDT
So that's gonna go into the savings and soon as my checking builds up again it's PS2 and DDR mats. I can't wait.

]]> ~Starkadder Laundromat http://Starkadder.deviantart.com/journal/23293437/ http://Starkadder.deviantart.com/journal/23293437/ Thu, 19 Feb 2009 17:23:07 PST
I've been working on some neat things at work: matte painting and working with particles to name a few. It's been an awesome learning process and I hope to be able to post my before and after of the photoshopping I did.

Otherwise all has been well with me, still doing a lot of reading and playing TF2. Been doing a little more forum RP these days as well now that that's starting to pick back up on both Ausflucht and Circle of Allwai. My EVE account expired I don't know when. The credit card it was on must have expired and I didn't even realize. Hate it when that happens. At the very least I think I'll pick it back up when I'm back in the mood for it, lately that draw just hasn't been there. I feel like it's getting over encumbered with gadgets and digits and all sorts of complicated that it hasn't been so much fun for me anyway. I'm sure I'll get my second wind tho, eventually. (I still have plans to do character art for an EFR promo)

Speaking of I should probably finish my Terad and Neptune fanart. I love the painting style and it's really gonna show, I can't wait for everyone to see it. Made worlds of difference when I did my matte painting too.

]]> ~Starkadder Bandwagon Journal http://Starkadder.deviantart.com/journal/23173882/ http://Starkadder.deviantart.com/journal/23173882/ Fri, 13 Feb 2009 12:37:01 PST
A
- Available: No

- Age: 27

- Annoyance: loud neighbors

- Allergic: nadda

- Animal: Zebra-tailed Finch

- Actor: Nicholas Cage

B
- Beer: nty

- Birthday/Birthplace: 11-16, Port Huron

- Best Friends: Best is such a strong word

- Body Part on opposite sex: waist/hips

- Best feeling in the world: sleep on blankets in sunshine window

- Blind or Deaf: deaf Â¬.Â¬

- Best weather: the warm day where you can lay in the grass and just forget about everything

- Been in Love: Am

- Been bitched out?: can't really say I have

- Been on stage?: for dance recitals

- Believe in yourself?: most of the time

- Believe in life on other planets: yep

- Believe in miracles: yes

- Believe in Magic: no

- Believe in God: yes

- Believe in Satan: I'm indifferent these days

- Believe in Santa: :3 no

- Believe in Ghosts/spirits: yes

- Believe in Evolution:

yes and no

C
- Car: Stratus

- Candy: twizzlers

- Colour: green

- Cried in school: yeah

- Chocolate/Vanilla: vanilla

- Chinese/Mexican: chinese

- Cake or pie: pie

- Countries to visit: anywhere in Europe, specially Ireland

D
- Day or Night: Day

- Dream vehicle: Ferarri 360 Modena

- Danced: yes

- Dance in the rain?: so fun

- Dance in the middle of the street?: not for a while, dangerous around here

- Do the splits?: never

E
- Eggs: over hard

- Eyes: bluegreen with sunflowers

- Everyone has: debt

- Ever failed a class?: well...i really don't think so. Does dropped count?

F
- First crush: Sean Burke

- Full name: Natalie Nicole Hallay

- First thoughts waking up: I don't wanna get up yet

- Food: meeeeeeeat

G
- Greatest Fear: losing what I love

- Giver or taker: give give give

- Goals: keep moving forward

- Gum: bubble

- Get along with your parents?: yes

- Good luck charms: not really charms, but I have a bunch of 4-leaf+ clovers

H
- Hair Colour: blond

- Height: 5'6"

- Happy: undoubtedly

- Holidays: christmas

- How do you want to die: old and sleeping

- Health freak?: not a freak, but healthy

- Hate: apathy

I
(In guys/girls)
- Eye colour: lighter colors

- Hair Colour: any

- Height: little taller than me

- Clothing Style: snappy casual

- Characteristics: ambitious and goal oriented

- Ice Cream: Cookie Dough

- Instrument: Piano

J
- Jewelry: silver

- Job: VFX Artist

K
- Kids: some day

- Kickboxing or karate: kickboxing

- Keep a journal?: yes

L
- Longest Car Ride: 13 hrs alone with Netherlight music

- Love: Andrew

- Letter: L

- Laughed so hard you cried: yes

- Love at first sight: crushes for sure

M
- Milk flavour: white

- Movie: Rocketeer

- Mooned anyone?: no

- Marriage: eventually

- Motion sickness?: swings

- McD's or BK: neither

N
- Number of Siblings: 1

- Number of Piercings: 4

- Number: 7

O
- Overused Phrases: that's so cool

- One wish: to be married and live happily ever after

- One phobia: nasty bugs

P
- Place you'd like to live: Ireland

- Pepsi/Coke: pepsi

Q
- Quail: goes good with orange marmalade sauce in a sweet potato nest

- Questionnaires: spaaaaaaaam

R
- Reason to cry: *pouts*

- Reality T.V.: gag

- Radio Station: Slacker Radio

- Roll your tongue in a circle?: nope

S
- Song: Shiny Toy Guns - You are the One

- Shoe size: 9

- Sushi: no spicey, no tentacles, no wasabe, more rice please

- Skipped school: very rare occurrence

- Slept outside: yes
... ]]> ~Starkadder Lounging http://Starkadder.deviantart.com/journal/23100948/ http://Starkadder.deviantart.com/journal/23100948/ Mon, 09 Feb 2009 11:53:09 PST
Next item for the 140lb marker is a PS2 and possibly Red Octane metal DDR pads. I have gift cards and christmas monies to aide in that purchase, but 10 pounds, your days are numbered.

Man it feels good to lose weight. :3

]]> ~Starkadder Work for my friends =D http://Starkadder.deviantart.com/journal/22998330/ http://Starkadder.deviantart.com/journal/22998330/ Wed, 04 Feb 2009 08:19:31 PST

"Two new movie studios are opening in Michigan!

Wunderstruck Studios in Hollywood announced today in Lansing that they will be in the old MGM casino in downtown right next to DTE Energy. Wunderstruck is known for special effects and video games like Guitar Hero. The new studio will be called Detroit Center Studios and employ more than 400 new jobs over the next 5 years.

But get this!!!! The old GM office complex and truck plant in Pontiac (Centerpoint) will become home to a new 600,000 square foot movie studio with the help of Al Taubman and Oakland County investors, which will generate more than 3500 direct jobs and 1500 indirect jobs. The company is Raleigh Studios and will be working with Lawrence Tech, CCS and Cranbrook to train students.

Since the tax breaks were announced last April, 37 new movies have poured in.

Is that exciting or what?!!!!!!

Governor Granholm will be announcing it tonight (Feb. 3) on the "State of the State" address tonight at 7:00."

Keep your ears open, might not all be together for another year or so, but still, opportunity opportunity!

]]> ~Starkadder work on saturday http://Starkadder.deviantart.com/journal/22761454/ http://Starkadder.deviantart.com/journal/22761454/ Fri, 23 Jan 2009 14:16:29 PST
]]> ~Starkadder New Layout http://Starkadder.deviantart.com/journal/22757795/ http://Starkadder.deviantart.com/journal/22757795/ Fri, 23 Jan 2009 11:17:03 PST
So yesterday I had a meeting with my boss and it got me to re-evaluate some things. I haven't been all too enthused about my work and my career has become my -job- if you get that. So I've come back around and decided a game plan. I want to model better and I want to learn cloth and hair dynamics. The dynamics are something I always wanted to learn for character animation and I feel I can find ways to apply them to what I do here. I've also determined that on my "breaks" I'm either going to study one of those three things, storyboard a project idea, or work on a drawing. That way I improve my skills and can relax doing them while still applying it to what I do here. Plus I want to learn how to Rig well. Right now my rig and weight skills are pretty rudimentary. But that's the last thing on the list.

So yeah, revamped and ready to go.

]]> ~Starkadder Sooo http://Starkadder.deviantart.com/journal/22592957/ http://Starkadder.deviantart.com/journal/22592957/ Thu, 15 Jan 2009 09:49:05 PST

Put me in a weird mood.

]]> ~Starkadder happy new year :3 http://Starkadder.deviantart.com/journal/22330385/ http://Starkadder.deviantart.com/journal/22330385/ Thu, 01 Jan 2009 11:24:28 PST
I had a grand time with my friends, had a few memorable moments, played lots of vidya games, went and saw Spirit at the theater (wasn't quite what we were expecting lol) and finally came in at 7am. I'll tell ya what...I was a tired puppy ^.^'

I have a lot of great expectations for this year. I just know that it's going to be a wonderful time and...well...it's just gonna be good. Very good. I know it.

]]> ~Starkadder Gifts http://Starkadder.deviantart.com/journal/21999401/ http://Starkadder.deviantart.com/journal/21999401/ Mon, 15 Dec 2008 14:49:47 PST
I've been blessed with a stellar job and this year I've been saving up a little more money than usual to spend on my family. It's not about the spending, it really isn't. It's about the looks on their faces when they get their gifts. It's about having the christmas they haven't been able to have yet. This year I feel like I can invest back into them what they've invested in me. And it's still not about the money. It's the years of giving gifts that I went bonkers about and was so happy to have. I want them to be the kids this time. :3

I've gotten a lot of things over the years and some things made me feel youthful, some made me feel grown up, and some made me feel unique and individual. It's a rare thing to get the gifts that really say "I know you and knew you would like this." I've gotten quite a few of those too.

Some people have a lot of trouble buying gifts. Lucky for me I can always find something that belongs to someone, that reminds me of them when I see it. I'm one of those people who pick up things year round because I see something and set it aside for the holiday season. Sometimes I don't wait that long, but it always makes the last minute shopping for more endurable.

It took me the longest time to think of anything I wanted for myself this year. Everything is a huge item, like a new tv or microwave, or a PS3. Those are the kinds of things I don't want for christmas. I would rather get lots of small things than only one thing. I've always been that way. But today I just started browsing stores online and came up with a lot of stuff I could use that I had forgotten about. So that was really awesome. Anyways, I'm getting off track.

SO! My goal for this christmas is to give back in the degree of my thankfulness. Well....maybe not quite that much cuz then I would have no money, but you know what I mean. I want my presents to make a difference, to make someone feel something and not just see another object to possess. *nods* Yeah.

Happy Holidays everyone. If I don't get to see ya, have a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!! ^_^

]]> ~Starkadder Getting on gettin on http://Starkadder.deviantart.com/journal/21721661/ http://Starkadder.deviantart.com/journal/21721661/ Fri, 28 Nov 2008 21:03:23 PST
All of this came around bout the time of my birthday wanting to be somebody. At thanksgiving dinner yesterday my family confirmed it as we went around the table saying what they were thankful for. Every time anyone said something about me it was about my creativity and all my talent. Truth is I've been letting it go to waste. I felt ashamed of that. I felt like "that guy" who just has super talent but ends up doing nothing till his friends beat him upside the head saying what's the matter with you?! Not that anyone did that X3 I'm just sayin I need to DO something with the skill I recognize I have. Period.

So. I bought a sketch book today, got 2 pages in. Also started to finish my coloring of Faust and Illy. I have plans to do a commission for Andrew. I also have plans to make orthographs for one of his Game Character designs for Hydrogen.

Basically I'm going to get rid of laziness, quit complaining about being bored, and I'm gonna brush the dust off and revamp my initiative. I draw. I draw well. I need to draw more. Who gives a crap of what it is or if I post it here. I just need to DRAW. Nuff said.

So in light of that, hope everyone had a happy thanksgiving, mine has been quite transitional. Might not last long but I'm not thinking about that. I'm thinking about now and how I can improve myself and the god given talent that's in me.

\o/ w00t

]]> ~Starkadder Yo http://Starkadder.deviantart.com/journal/21620527/ http://Starkadder.deviantart.com/journal/21620527/ Sat, 22 Nov 2008 19:53:17 PST :3

]]> ~Starkadder Post Birthday http://Starkadder.deviantart.com/journal/21551355/ http://Starkadder.deviantart.com/journal/21551355/ Tue, 18 Nov 2008 13:54:25 PST
But for some reason I feel a little down these days. 27 is sooooo close to 30 and it makes me wonder where all that time went. On my life timeline I don't feel like I've gotten very far with things, like I should be further down the road in my ventures by now. In another 13 years I'll be 40. That's a sobering thought.... It really makes me want to nail down and plan out stuff like if I don't i'll run out of time to do everything I want to. It makes me want to do more with my time. I don't want to waste it. I want it to mean something. I want to accomplish something. I don't want to be stuck in repetition. Crazy to think 5 years ago I felt in the prime of my life, young and adventurous in my early twenties. What a strange transition this is.

I have student loans to pay off, I want a house, I want a family, typical staples in the dreams that many of us have in common. I'm on my way there, I'm just getting anxious, getting nervous, looking around me and trying to figure out if this is really what I want for the next 5 years or so. It's all subject to change of course, and day by day it leads towards change, but every day I feel like I'm waiting for something. I don't know what it is. But there's always something: the next time I get to see Andrew, when will I visit Kyle and Jcat again, car has to get into a shop, holidays and birthdays are coming up, when can I visit the family next. It's been that way for a little while now and it's driving me up a wall. Some of it's responsibilities and some of it is what I want and/or need to do to be happy. So why is it stressing me out?

I'm not mad or upset about it, it's just the grand scope of things is making me uncomfortable and I don't know what I can do about it. There really isn't any escaping how big it is. Manageable sure, and good of course, just a little overwhelming for the time being I guess.

...btw LJ is back up :3

]]> ~Starkadder VOTE! http://Starkadder.deviantart.com/journal/21316084/ http://Starkadder.deviantart.com/journal/21316084/ Tue, 04 Nov 2008 10:54:07 PST
So, got a new car. Not sure what i'm gonna do with the old one yet, probably scrap it.
Drawing has been on hold, probably cuz writing has been put on hold with the exception of Ausflucht, which has been fun so far, still waiting to get 2 more characters approved or the next day to turn over x_x' It's a learning experience and I think the more threads I read the better idea I'll have of the mood and flow of things.

I'm now into "Return of the King" so not much farther to go till I'm finally done with reading Tolkien. Been hanging out with the Jcat more, learning new things and havin a good time. Also been at Kyle's more often which has been a blast.

Birthday is coming up, probably just gonna end up at home for that, nothing special.

Things have been great really, just kinda going with the flow and enjoying myself. I want to do so much more writing, been having a LOT of fun with that. So we'll see how it goes, maybe I will post something in the coming week, sketch dump maybe. Or writing of some kind. *shrugs* We'll see.

Oh, and Pontiac commercials, for Nov. and Dec. year end event stuff - we did those.

]]> ~Starkadder haaaaa I crack myself up http://Starkadder.deviantart.com/journal/21005568/ http://Starkadder.deviantart.com/journal/21005568/ Wed, 15 Oct 2008 17:16:24 PDT
Been working on my latest project, building a forum RP. I love Clockwork but it was time to move on and do our own thing. Chris Crafton is helping me along with 2 Clockwork members. We've come up with tons of content and I've been working on maps and locations as you may have seen from my scraps. The continent won't be revealed since Jcat and Nick aren't supposed to see it. We're going to have FOG OF EXPLORATION!!! Bwahaha! Medieval fantasy run by we GMs. It's gonna be like the tabletop I will never have the courage to do, hehe. Least for me that's what it is.

Going to start a fanart for one of the threads I have going on Clockwork still. (we're still posting while we wait for the big move) It will be Terad Versilius (ya'll have seen him) and Neptune Umbriel (owned by "Sari"). They're both dragon types. It will be awesome. It'll be kinda like a gift art I guess, but I think it's mostly for me, hehe. To capture the moment X3

[I think I will actually attempts to make the thing digitally...dunno, ish a gamble]

Other than that work has been slow, I've been playin games and started watching season 6 of Buffy. Had a really nice last few weekends with a LAN party that was pretty rockin.

Went to the Ren Fair, that was a blast. And Shiny Toy Guns concert coming up on the 26th at the Magic Stick. It will be cool beans.

]]> ~Starkadder alright that's it! Josue technique! bonzai! http://Starkadder.deviantart.com/journal/20571045/ http://Starkadder.deviantart.com/journal/20571045/ Fri, 19 Sep 2008 15:52:40 PDT
If Josue can do it I can do it too! >:3

Here I go!!

]]> ~Starkadder last but not least http://Starkadder.deviantart.com/journal/20520987/ http://Starkadder.deviantart.com/journal/20520987/ Tue, 16 Sep 2008 12:31:57 PDT
Hmmm.

Anyways. I've been motivated to finish my book making project. I have all my materials at my apartment and really just need to cut things up and glue them together. There's sewing to do as well, but you know what I mean. Then after that I need to find out where that link is for learning Quenya. I bought a crap ton of index cards to make flash cards out of them and never did... I've spent a little bit of money on a lot of project materials and I think it's due time for me to get my money's worth out of it. ^_^

Lets see if I can follow through on these this time around.

-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-
_____________

MY FRIENDS

]]> ~Starkadder 1st Beattie Vacation =D http://Starkadder.deviantart.com/journal/20286428/ http://Starkadder.deviantart.com/journal/20286428/ Tue, 02 Sep 2008 09:00:47 PDT Andrew's family. But quickly I must add that it was one of the fondest memories I will ever have, even if it's one of the first few that I will have in my lifetime.

His parents took the sports car and both

Andrew and I and his brother and his girlfriend took the van to a Bed and Breakfast place up north. We stopped at a fruit market on the way up and the rest of the day was wine tasting and some Creole dinner.

Andrew had his first taste of Absynthe :3 The stars that night were phenomenal, truly the most stars I've ever seen, even saw 2 shooting stars.

Andrew and I sat out on the dock for a good 10 minutes or so just looking at them. Then as it got colder we went inside.

Day 2 was a relaxing morning and some beach sunning, little swim, then a VIP vineyard tour where we got to see the vineyard, learn about different grapes, see how everything was processed and barreled, and what differences in the barrels meant to the flavor of the wine. With the tour there was bread and cheese and more wine tasting, hehe. We visited a few other wineries and then it was dinner at the Boathouse. Soooo much good food; there wasn't a day that went by, or an hour...where we didn't feel full.

Day 3 was Ham Bonz for breakfast, some pirate putt-putt, Sleeping bear dunes, then beach time. The water was great! Then we had dinner at a local pub and came back to our Bed and Breakfast place for an early relaxing evening.

Day 4 we packed up and headed back before the traffic got too bad. Watched Office Space with

Andrew and then drove back to my place after the traffic let up.

I'll tell ya what, I slept good last night. ^_^ Then to come back to work with a raise awaiting me and only a 4 day week, yah...definitely good times.

I just wanted to say thank you to

Andrew and his family for a fantastic time. It was a great experience.

oh, and more

Andrew!

X3

-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-
_____________

MY FRIENDS

~Starkadder updates go http://Starkadder.deviantart.com/journal/20019009/ http://Starkadder.deviantart.com/journal/20019009/ Mon, 18 Aug 2008 09:04:17 PDT
I'm supposed to be getting a raise this month, so that should help. I have all kinds of new things I want to put the money towards: new car, maybe a laptop, new tv, ps3, and a bunch of other things for fun and for the apartment. This is all after I pay off one or two of my loans to chop those payments up asap. With those out of the way I won't have so much money going out. What sux though is I was supposed to get the raise last month, but I didn't mark it right on my calendar, so my bad.

Other than that all is well! Been having a wonderful time every time I get to see my Andrew and we've been doing all kinds of things together. Like learning how to make new soups and playing games and going for walks and really just enjoying each other's company to the max. It's been awesome ^_^

-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-
_____________

MY FRIENDS

http://Starkadder.deviantart.com/journal/19590696/ Fri, 25 Jul 2008 13:00:25 PDT
I've been using Vyrl's tutorial for inspiration [link] as well as her style. If she can do that awesome of work in photoshop, then so can I! :3 So that means rule of thirds is in play, environment, and lots of detail.

I have the sketch, but I want to do the final on a big piece of illustration board, I just can't do it small scale, I just can't. And I can't do it all on my tablet either, my hand is never steady enough. >.<'

Other than that I've really been wanting to get back into the habit of posting deviations. Sadly it's because of my lack of pageviews and comments lately, which means I haven't been submitting work like I should be, which means my talent is going to waste if I don't do something with it! So yeah.

That meme is still in progress, that's okay. I might get too many projects going at once, but really I don't care and it doesn't matter much cuz I don't have any deadlines. I'm going to use reference and I'm going to practice environments and composition. It's a start. ^_^

-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-
_____________

MY FRIENDS

http://Starkadder.deviantart.com/journal/19180766/ Thu, 03 Jul 2008 09:27:27 PDT
On the up side I'm working on an OC art meme. ("original character") which is going to prove rather hilarious me thinks. Just a bunch of random questions that link up 10 OCs of mine. It's....very silly. XD

Internet has been down at my apt. for the last week, but now it's back up. So I'll be able to play EvE again and unravel the mysteries of the universe in spaaaaaaaaace. Faction warfare just started, so I'm delving into the whole political history behind it from the chronicles and news archives that have been released. It's been a lot of fun. Who would have thought i could get into history let alone politics eh? Guess it has to be a fantasy world... <_<

Anyways. In other news. Kitty was sent to a shelter. Least I got some good pics of her while I had her. Made veggie soup last night that was awesome, but i need to make more broth, the noodles soaked everything up. 4th of July is gonna be fun, sounds like I'll be heading to Bay City. I've been watching the Buffy series on DVD and it's been a lot of fun, very dramatic though. I'm still doing my "work out 4 times a week" thing. No strengthening or anything, but the weight is coming off as planned. Netherlight has been lots of fun every time, no surprise there. :3 And everything relational has been peachy. ^_^

Really...i'm putting too much time into the drawing for that meme...but it's good! I'll be getting used to drawing all of my OCs

-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-
_____________

MY FRIENDS

http://Starkadder.deviantart.com/journal/18657728/ Wed, 04 Jun 2008 07:25:40 PDT

The Rules:
1. Post these rules.
2. Each tagged person must post 8 facts about themselves on their journal.
3. At the end, you have to tag 8 people and post their icons in the same journal.
4. Go to their pages and send a message saying you tagged them.
5. No tag-backs.

My Eight Facts

1. I enjoy silence more often than not. That means no music boys and girls.
2. I'm very anal about people using my things, even in fictitious environments.
3. I hate it when people waste my time.
4. I love hanging out with my family when I can.
5. I <3 Andrew.
6. If I haven't seen a friend in a long time, I can still hang out with them like I saw them yesterday.
7. I want to be outdoors at all possible times. A beautiful day spent indoors disturbs me.
8. I'm good at drawing...but I don't always like to draw.

Taggies: none! you're freeeeeee!

-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-
_____________

MY FRIENDS

]]> ~Starkadder Kitten needs a Home! http://Starkadder.deviantart.com/journal/18544476/ http://Starkadder.deviantart.com/journal/18544476/ Wed, 28 May 2008 17:12:15 PDT
[link]
[link]

I have until Friday and she goes to a shelter. I dun wanna do it, I wanna give her a happy home O_O;

EDIT:

to the rescue!!!! YAAAAAAY!!!!!
Cali will be so happy! I am so happy!!!!
I know she's in good hands! Thanks everyone who has helped in some way!

-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-
_____________

MY FRIENDS

]]> ~Starkadder Working up http://Starkadder.deviantart.com/journal/18347886/ http://Starkadder.deviantart.com/journal/18347886/ Fri, 16 May 2008 07:22:17 PDT
"FYI-
Just wanted to send out a thank you and great job! Email to everyone for their hard work done for Kevin Omans at Campbell-Ewald. I just talked to him again and youÂve all helped secure KevinÂs spot to present directly to the client in competition for the campaign voice of Aveo for the next year. The Chief Creative Officer, Bill Ludwig (who is not easy to get audience with or easy to please) said that the animated guys were awesome and even asked Kevin specifically who the company was that did it, he said he was very impressed! Being from CE and that business model, let me tell you... getting Bill happy with things is tough to doÂso, kudos to all of you! ( I hope I didnÂt miss anyone who may have helped, please pass this on if I did)

Cross your fingers for his next big preso to client (and cross Âem for us too!)
Thanks again!

Chris Calabrese
Interactive Creative Director"

If this is received well, this could mean a whole slew of projects from Chevy. And Chris Calabrese did stress how hard it was to please the man, that he was very picky and things usually get turned down. So I'm super excited that he liked our work! XD

More character animation woohoo!

-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-
_____________

MY FRIENDS

http://Starkadder.deviantart.com/journal/18321288/ Wed, 14 May 2008 13:46:42 PDT [16:38] Azral J B: put em up black hole!
[16:38] conquerdaworld: awwwwww *squeal*
[16:38] Azral J B: (9o.o)9 o
[16:38] conquerdaworld: O.o
[16:38] conquerdaworld: thas my baby!
[16:38] Azral J B: (9o.o)9 0
[16:39] conquerdaworld: :<
[16:39] Azral J B: (9o_o)9 0
[16:39] Azral J B: (9o_o) 9 O
[16:39] conquerdaworld: x.x;
[16:39] Azral J B: ( 9 O _ O ) 9 O
[16:40] Azral J B: ( 9 X o X ) - O O
[16:41] Azral J B: *blip~* O
[16:41] Azral J B: O = (9o.o)9
[16:41] Azral J B: O = (9o.o)9
[16:42] Azral J B: * (9o.o)9
[16:42] conquerdaworld: O_O
[16:42] Azral J B: ,(o.o,)
[16:42] Azral J B: ,(^.^,) I win!
[16:43] Azral J B: j00r safe

-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-
_____________

MY FRIENDS

]]> ~Starkadder Spending my time http://Starkadder.deviantart.com/journal/18240715/ http://Starkadder.deviantart.com/journal/18240715/ Fri, 09 May 2008 11:23:49 PDT
I'm excited to go to dinner with Andrew this weekend, have some Mother's Day events, and do my best to spend some quality time with my Rew. There's so many things that still have to get done, and more things I find myself wanting to do in my free time. It's been really fun.

Spent some time with Jcat and Al the other day. Needless to say is was refreshing and good times all around. AS IT SHOULD BE! :3

<3 Infinite Roll

Played Brawl and The Great Dalmudy (as if i actually knew how to spell that word...yeah right x_x) while watching Gankutsuou and eating candies. Good fun ^_^

Now all that's left is to get my internet installed and get a couch and tv stand of some kind and I'll be all set.

*sigh of relief* I'm feelin good. Yup.
Real good.

-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-
_____________

MY FRIENDS

]]> ~Starkadder move-in day http://Starkadder.deviantart.com/journal/18113431/ http://Starkadder.deviantart.com/journal/18113431/ Thu, 01 May 2008 07:11:22 PDT .<' Thank you guys for your help, seriously. It would have been a disaster otherwise. And thank you Nick for letting me borrow your bed. After an evening like that I slept really good.

SO! Today should be the day I get my new place, all to myself, with my tons of stuff. :3
Pray that all goes smoothly this time around.

AND! Good luck ANDREW and NICK today on your final reviews for Senior Studio!

Workin with my 'Rew on his project has been soooo fun. Being able to critique things and finish the final character for Sabre Dance has been really rewarding for me. btw that will get posted some time....when...i have my comp hooked up to the internets again... ;-;

I survived this craziness relatively well!!! YAAAAAY!

-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-
_____________

MY FRIENDS

]]> ~Starkadder It's fun to stay at the...! http://Starkadder.deviantart.com/journal/17762494/ http://Starkadder.deviantart.com/journal/17762494/ Wed, 09 Apr 2008 11:29:42 PDT
I got my membership today!! Booyah!
Pool, here I come!

-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-
_____________

MY FRIENDS

]]> ~Starkadder leftovers http://Starkadder.deviantart.com/journal/17736102/ http://Starkadder.deviantart.com/journal/17736102/ Mon, 07 Apr 2008 17:28:55 PDT
-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-
_____________

MY FRIENDS

]]> ~Starkadder Horses http://Starkadder.deviantart.com/journal/17728997/ http://Starkadder.deviantart.com/journal/17728997/ Mon, 07 Apr 2008 09:47:01 PDT

So I'm back at work now, being Monday and all and I was thinking about picking away at an old plot of mine when it dawned on me. I've been calling "Raisin Jack" a chestnut gelding for quite some time now, and I quite honestly didn't know what it meant. In my head I thought of a dark "oak/tan" colored horse, male, pleasant temperament. But I couldn't be sure. I didn't know what breed it was and also I needed another horse to be pulling a carriage. So I did some research.

Turns out a "gelding" is only 1 part away from being a stallion, and I'm sure you could throw a guess to what that is. So I found myself mildly surprised, but content all the same, after all I bought the horse legitimately through rp means. And "chestnut" refers to "red" colored horses. See horses come in 3 colors: Red, Black, and Gray. Any other color is a variation of those, even white, unless it's pure white which is RARE. White is usually an older or faded gray horse with black skin beneath its fur. Albino cases do not exist because it is lethal to horses. (dunno why)

I learned the difference between a colt and a filly, picked up some fun breed types, learned about their communication habits and get this: they sleep, like REM sleep (they have to lay down), maybe 2 or 3 hrs in a 24 hour day. And even that is divided into 15 minute intervals throughout. They "rest" anywhere from a few minutes to a few hours a day. If you never let it lie down, after a few days it may collapse and slip into REM sleep or it might do so standing up. Poor horsey. But yeah, I thought that was really kewl.

They are like dear in lots of ways, totally always on the alert for predators hence why they sleep standing up or why they can freak out by sudden weight on their back. You could be a mountain lion for all they know o.O'

-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-
_____________

MY FRIENDS

http://Starkadder.deviantart.com/journal/17276413/ Mon, 10 Mar 2008 18:21:28 PDT
AshÂs story did not begin at the beginning as most stories do, it began in the middle. He had escaped a prison that served one purpose: to torture souls to their deaths. In the midst of that place he lost his humanity and gained a twisted, fearless, and prideful nature. He felt little pain, thrived on killing, and had little concern for any matter regardless of its consequences. This would explain his first encounter with a band of players. They were attacked by wolves and happened upon the man in a tattered straight jacket whose face was constantly hidden in an unnatural shadow. He did not aide the party, but rather attacked it. With overwhelming odds, Ash was sucked into a world unfamiliar and encountered many strange companions and enemies alike. He held loyalties only to those he admired, but would not hesitate to turn on anyone at a whim. Fighting only temporarily gorged his desires to become powerful and after a time he was offered a chance. Returning to Alzaria, the home of his prison, Ash stumbled across a castle where inside he would meet his captor for the first time since his escape. Reminded only of the pain and suffering he had endured he took revenge on Horus Brish, the scientist responsible for AshÂs disposition. If Ash were ever to become great, it would be by his own efforts.

Many years past and time took its toll in calming down the savage nature of the oddity that was Ash Grey. It wasnÂt long before his past would haunt him to an unexpected death. Upon the death of Horus, an organization was put together to eradicate anything left of his experiments. With this knowledge Ash killed one of the party members without question. This of course angered his colleague Viking whom sent Ash to his much deserved grave. His soul was torn from him by a dagger enchanted with soul rend and for a while was back in his cell, his hell, for what seemed an endless amount of time. A bizarre and cleansing turn of events in the darkness returned him to the living as his brother, Marro, had him resurrected for a special task. Fully trusting and in debt to the man, Ash would do as he was asked, but never would he have expected the request that was made: ...to revive Horus. When it came to the end, he accomplished his task only to learn that he had indeed been meant for something great. But that something was passed on to Marro as his body became the vessel for the god of their world, for the god Azral. His search for purpose was suddenly over as it was realized and happening without him. He fell to his knees in the presence of the holy entity and empty tears streaked down his face. Ash was not elatedÂhe was ashamed. Soon after accomplishing his task bid by the god, Ash felt something he had not known: Âregret. Left alone in the throne room he was left to gaze upon the dead shell that was his brother, Marro, the vessel of god. All Ash had left now was a sister and the sanity to find her and share with her everything he could remember.

I wouldnÂt have had it end any other way. It took that sort of humbling experience to ground him, to snap him out of his craze, to have a reason to continue when everything around him that meant something to him slipped away. ÂBittersweetÂ puts it best. I couldnÂt agree more.

Bravo Netherlight, bravo.

-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-
_____________

MY FRIENDS

http://Starkadder.deviantart.com/journal/16943544/ Mon, 18 Feb 2008 10:18:26 PST Saturday Aaron had Erika's birthday party at my apt. and Jcat came out to visit me. We went to the party store to pick up some beverages and we talked about Netherlight almost the entire night while thinking of concepts for Ash's new outfit. Some of the ideas we came up with have potential for sure. So drawing, talking, drinking, it was all very relaxing and stimulating. It was a nice pick-me-up from the slump I've been trying to escape. Do not confuse "escape" with "avoid". No, lately I've been on a mission to rediscover what it is that I enjoy doing on my own time, my alone time. I've been searching for what makes me happy, who makes me happy, and what brings me down. Just trying to get to know myself better really, I'm not having any sort of mental/social conflict. So it's all good. I have a habit of relying on other people to make me happy, but really it's up to me, my decisions, and my perspective. So yes, that is my current and ongoing project.

Sunday = 8 hrs of Sims 2 + shower + dinner + 2 hrs of Sweeny Todd

...yeah that's it.

btw everybody at the party was asking for Andrew and wondering where he was and why he wasn't there. You were missed ^_^

Can't wait to see ya.

Currently I'm on lunch, working on floor plans for bigger and better Sim houses, hehe. It's surprisingly demanding. I'm hoping that eventually I will be able to design my "dream house". Now of course the laundry room and garage and stuff like that will be missing, but that's not the point. It's all about style.

-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-
_____________

MY FRIENDS

http://Starkadder.deviantart.com/journal/16849476/ Tue, 12 Feb 2008 14:15:51 PST .<
I wanted to use my tablet to make my dad a b-day card and my hand was shaky. So i tried pencil and paper, but I could NOT draw what I wanted to. That's so frustrating.

I really just want to try practicing, just hands, parts, over and over to get the flow back. Then poses and other unimportant things. Then maybe characters. We'll see. I want to get into the habit of making backgrounds too. So it's all going to be rough sketches for a while. It will come back, just needs time. Maybe in the process I'll get better, hehe.

-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-
_____________

MY FRIENDS

]]> ~Starkadder I would like to take a minute... http://Starkadder.deviantart.com/journal/16657723/ http://Starkadder.deviantart.com/journal/16657723/ Thu, 31 Jan 2008 11:39:15 PST
Just how awesome Andrew is.
*play and read* [link]

I can remember back when we first met. We hardly knew each other back then. Video games, chess, music and movies, a good friend and good listener. We both went through hard times at relatively the same time and found comfort in the company of one another. We've shared a lot since then, changed a lot since then, and without trying too hard, have gotten closer day by day.

Sometimes I make it hard, revolving my world around you. Shame on me. ^_^ You're my sunshine, and that's no understatement. You always bring a smile to my face and I've grown to cherish every hug and walk together. You constantly try to help me through my struggles and do the best you can to make me happy. No one has tried harder. You know what's best for me and stay by my side even when I think I have everything under control, despite the fact you know full well I don't. But you're there because you love me. And I love you right back. There's always something new or something forgotten that comes around, refreshed and brightening our time together.

You don't follow others, you make your own path and everyone follows you, a true leader with great talent. I'd follow you anywhere. Do you remember back when you visited me in my apt. in the ACB? You had something on your mind you wanted to share and almost chickened out, but I asked you to stay? How nervous you must have been. I'm glad you didn't leave the room.

We have a lot of differences, but they always seem to compliment one another. We make an awesome team. Sure sometimes we bump heads, but there's never been a situation we haven't been able to work through because we're both willing to make it through together. I couldn't ask for more.

You're confident and loyal, trusting and caring. You don't let anything bring you down if it can be helped and put your efforts towards the things that keep you happy. You've set a great example when it comes to knowing yourself and knowing what you want in life. You don't accept anything as permanent and can adapt to any situation still expecting the best outcome. Truly something to admire. You're willing to change, willing to give, willing to go the extra mile if it will make a difference. And you have made a difference.

You're not hard, nor are you soft. You can admire beautiful, melodic, and cute things, but also enjoy the rugged, fearsome, and horrifying things. It's opened up many new and exciting experiences for me, many I never would have sought out before.

I've no regrets, not one. Everything we've gone through has molded us into what we are today and everything you do continues to build a stronger foundation. You really are the best. And I'm so very glad to call you mine.

I

you Andrew Beattie!

-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-
_____________

MY FRIENDS

http://Starkadder.deviantart.com/journal/16641227/ Wed, 30 Jan 2008 09:40:26 PST
-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-
_____________

MY FRIENDS

]]> ~Starkadder pay meh what you owe meh! http://Starkadder.deviantart.com/journal/16612161/ http://Starkadder.deviantart.com/journal/16612161/ Mon, 28 Jan 2008 12:21:36 PST
I should be an employee of Ringside Creative soon, maybe when I get back in the studio after my time off.

I'm doing alright. On my down time when it's just me at my apt. I get feeling pretty mellow, reflecting on the weekend and trying to cope with loss and amazing memories at the same time. Andrew's been a real blessing, staying by my side and offering the comfort I need whenever I need it. Today was my first day really back in the scheme of things and not having anyone around. I didn't really think I would be feeling so down, but then again I didn't know how I would be feeling really once all was quiet and back to normal. (or routine rather) Makes me wonder if being at work will be like this or if it will help get me back on track. I actually went in the day I got the news at 2am. If I got any sort of criticism in the smallest way I felt really bad really quick, it was like I was emotionally thin. I'm debating on giving it one more day or not. I have tuesday scheduled off, but I could still go in if i wanted. I certainly need the money, but also I don't want to feel like I'm rushing things.

Today I just took care of taxes and bills. Sobering busy work, heh. I can't wait to be making some money that will be making a difference on these loan payments. The day is only half over though. Still have time to see what else can happen. Maybe play some games with Andrew, or watch some anime. Both would be a pleasant distraction.

-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-
_____________

MY FRIENDS

~Starkadder Luv you Grama http://Starkadder.deviantart.com/journal/16532777/ http://Starkadder.deviantart.com/journal/16532777/ Wed, 23 Jan 2008 07:11:09 PST
Best memories:

As a child my sister and I and my cousin Coty went there a lot to be looked after when my parents were busy. We had tea parties with milk and sugar and a drop of coffee. She got me hooked, hehe. Then there were hot dogs and the best mac'n'cheese ever. Chinese lanterns grew in her garden, there was always laundry going in the creepy basement, and her ice cream sandwiches were unmatched. I mean, how many grandmas do you know who take that half gallon carton, peel away the package, and slice the whole block and used cinnamon graham crackers? Yah, they were awesome ^.^'

She also taught us how to roller-skate, make fudge, and is totally responsible for any art talent that runs thick in the family. Yeah, me included.

She was a fine lady.

-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-
_____________

MY FRIENDS

]]> ~Starkadder Tags all around ^.^' http://Starkadder.deviantart.com/journal/16283956/ http://Starkadder.deviantart.com/journal/16283956/ Sun, 06 Jan 2008 10:02:54 PST

(01) First name: Natalie

(02) Your nickname in DA: Starkadder

(03) Birthday: 11-16-81

(04) Horoscope sign: Scorpio

(05) Birth town: Port Huron, Michigan

(06) Religion: christian

(07) Nationality: American (Russian/Hungarian)

(08) Parents: Mike and Karen

(09) Do you love them: uh-huh

(10) Brothers or sisters: 1 younger sister

(11) Do you like the place where you live: For the most part, it gets frustrating sometimes though

(12) Hair color: dark blonde

(13) Color of your eyes: blue-green with sunflowers

(14) Height: About 5'6"

(15) Weight: too embarrassed to say, but it will be 130 soon with my workout plan

(16) What school/grade are you going to: DONE!! Bwahahaha!

(18) Do you work anywhere: Yep, and I'm lovin it

(19) What do you want to be in your life: Somebody who made a difference in the lives of a few people.

(20) Your life: Is pretty awesome

(21) Personal quote: "wreeeeeeeet!"

(22) Lucky number: 7

(23) What are you interested in: lots of things, mostly outdoorsy things

(24) Good side of your character: patient, kind, understanding, trustworthy, good listener

(25) Bad side of it: procrastinator, perfectionist, stubborn, sometimes I get bleh and can't get out without some help, once I finally get mad it takes some time to not be

(26) Is your life happy: yup

(27) Do you think that you are crazy: nope

(28) What is the time: 12:37pm

(29) What is the date: 1-6-08

(30) What's the weather like: overcast, but kind of nice out for a winter day

(31) Favourite day in a week: saturday

(32) Favourite music: techno, rock and roll, celtic, orchestra

(34) Band: My Chemical Romance, VNV Nation, Shiny Toy Guns, all Netherlight ^.^'

(35) Song: Rocketship by Shiny Toy Guns

(36) Best concert you have been: For the few concerts I've been to...Shiny Toy Guns for the win

(37) Actress: Julia Roberts

(38) Actor: Nicholas Cage/Sean Connery

(39) Film: oh god don't make me pick

(40) TV series: House

(41) Theatre play: Seen a few but don't have a favorite

(42) Film director: <.<'

(43) Do you want to be famous: no not really

(44) Do you want to be an a---- : i don't get it

(45) Do you want to be a singer: no, too much traveling

(46) Book: One for the Morning Glory by John Barnes

(47) Colors: green, blue

(49) Food: salmon

(50) Drink: champagne

(51) Sweet: gummy bears

(52) Fruit: strawberry

(53) The worst food: liver

(54) The Worst drink: beeeeeeeeeer XD

(55) The worst Singer: not gonna go there

(56) The worst Band: egh

(57) The worst Actor: errrr

(58) The worst Actress: ehhhh

(59) The worst Movie: Spiderman 3 was kinda bleh, thrown together with not much depth, just moving the story along

(60) The worst book: anything I can browse that makes me lose my concentration in 10 seconds

(61) Do you drink alcohol: sometimes yep

(62) Do you smoke: nope

(63) Do you take some drugs: uh-uh

(64) What do you adore to wear: hoodies and hot topic stuffs!

(65) Do you think you're pretty: not all the time, but most of the time

(67) The most beautiful person you have ever seen/male: how unfair

(68) The most beautiful person you have ever seen/female: i will not initiate cat fights

(69) The most beautiful person on dA/male: can it be a kitty?

(70) The most beautiful person on dA/female: erm...

(71) 5 of your best friends on dA/male:

(72) 5 of your best friends on dA/female: http://Starkadder.deviantart.com/journal/16239810/ Thu, 03 Jan 2008 12:42:31 PST
10,000 pageviews.
i am loved?

^.^'

-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-
_____________

MY FRIENDS

]]> ~Starkadder Stepping into 2008 http://Starkadder.deviantart.com/journal/16221208/ http://Starkadder.deviantart.com/journal/16221208/ Wed, 02 Jan 2008 09:30:28 PST Had Christmas with my family and got lots of nice things. I got to do some shopping afterwards to spend my gift cards I had gotten from Andrew and family, so I got a new lamp, some fun hot topic items, and I got my ears pierced again! So now I have two lobe piercings on each ear. I really like them, but my left ear keeps bugging me on and off, hopefully that stops soon. I got to spend a few days in Bay City (boy it felt good to have my Andrew back ^.^ ....he was skiing in Colorado for Christmas) and we did all kinds of things. We did a little bit of shopping, played Psychonauts, saw Sweeny Tod at the theater, went to a party (one of the most fun I've been to I might add with lots of peeps, drinking games, and euchre), watched some House episodes, did a bunch of brainstorming for a new EVE RP forum, and tried every store in both cities trying to find a DS Lite before he left for Las Vegas to see Jason to no avail. It was a great time! Then back in Port Huron we vegged about watching House and went out to dinner with the grandparents for my sister's birthday. Then we went rollerskating and watched fireworks for New Years.

Andrew headed home to prep for the next day flight and I packed up to head back to the apartment. I'll admit being back wasn't as exciting as I thought it was going to be. Trash to take out, mail to sort, unpacking to do, email and DA and Clockwork to widdle down from a week of inactivity, work in the morning. Still have lots of things to put away when I get outa work. e_e' But that bein said it was ALL a lot of fun.

All my loans are due and my grace period has run out. $500+ a month plus ~$350 for rent and utilities. My boss is makin sure I get employed soon. I let him know this afternoon that I was feelin the pressure with loans and all so I'm sure it will be very soon now. ^_^ I'm so excited! It will be so amazing to have that sort of income! Help ease the pain of my Christmas splurging, hehe.

I may drop Clockwork entirely to put my efforts into the EVE forum. My efforts will be appreciated and respected there and it will be my responsibility to organize and set up rules. If I don't leave I'm at least going to drop to member status and do nothing but write. I'm tired of the rude and immature remarks people give me. Sorry if you guys are readin this, but when members bark at an Admin, there's no respect...none. So dropping the site like a bad habit won't be too hard. I got a cool drakin (sp?) character out of it.

Haven't drawn or read much, haven't had the time. I have to draw a pic of Ash for the upcoming Netherlight campaign. I'm excited about that, but again I need the motivation and the time. It comes and goes and both aren't always on the same schedule, hah. I may keep doing character pics for Andrew's senior project too, while he does animation. They're a lot of fun. Narrow it down to 4 projects, EVE and Sabre Dance, Clockwork and Netherlight. ...probably in that order...

Happy New Year all! I'll try to get out and visit some people! It's overdue! 8p

-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-
_____________

MY FRIENDS

http://Starkadder.deviantart.com/journal/15818280/ Tue, 11 Dec 2007 12:42:14 PST - it's been asked for, so here it is ^.^'

1. The Wars of Avenon: The Rover's Cripple by Adele Lorienne
- This book can only be ordered online (not to be confused with "The Art of Avenon") [link]

2. $$ - for: car upkeep, she's gonna need some TLC this winter

3. Memorex 8GB USB 2.0 Flash Drive - or 4G, whatever is more cost effective

4. CDs
- Loreena McKennitt: An Ancient Muse, The Book of Secrets
- My Chemical Romance: The Black Parade, Helena (I don't think this is in the states yet? I don't see it on their web site)
- John Doan (ANYTHING, I love his music XD) I would like "Departures" but it's an '88 release, think it would still be available for purchase?

5. Arm warmers from Hot Topic, warm ones that I can wear with T-shirts. Either black or grey or some color that would go with a variety of shirts, maybe even white or striped. Nothin toooo crazy. Oh, and no glove-like fingers. They can cover my hand, but no "fingers".

6. Jewelry - I could use all kinds. Bulky to go with Ts, pretty to go with dresses and nice shirts, or fun to go with either. No bracelets. Earrings to match is a +. No big bulky gaudy for jewelry, think slender/pretty/cute/...frosting. ^_^

7. Hat/scarf/glove set. Still need one of these. I want somethin really warm and not scratchy, no feathers. Keep it simple. No red....

8. Shirts - I always need more of these, either T-shirts or long sleeve shirts, also nicer "snappy casual" shirts for work, holidays, or going out. Nothin slinky plz, my figure ain't into that right now. <.<

9. TJ Max gift card!!!! Can't go wrong there...evar.

10. iPod - i have yet to own an mp3 player. The more songs it can hold the better. iPod or nothing, I dun want an offbrand. (I bet you never thought those words would come outa this 'cheap' mouth eh? XD)

11. PS3 - may as well throw this out there.

12. Deathnote wall scroll - of "L" (kinda like my Cloud wall scroll from Final Fantasy VII)

aaaaaaaaand...

13. A new calendar for the new year

14. An insense burner...that's like a case, and has a tray underneath, for sticks. Also I need a tray for /\ ones.

(btw I wear Medium shirts)

I'll....update when I think of more.

-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-
_____________

MY FRIENDS

http://Starkadder.deviantart.com/journal/15794163/ Tue, 04 Dec 2007 14:02:00 PST
Work: It's been slow in the studio, but the news has been positive for me being hired soon: we're just kind of waiting on a big deal to go through, then they can give me the final word. My hopes are that it will be some time this month. That will be exciting. But also with this dip in productivity it has given me time to work on things for Andrew's Senor project which I have been enjoying very much. It feels like work sometimes, but that's not to say I don't enjoy it. Heck every project I've done in my life that's lasted for more than a day feels like work in the long run, lol. But the technique I've been using for these pieces has really become my favorite method of coloring my art. And to be honest it's the best way to capitalize on Photoshop for what it's made for rather than try to paint...which is really more what Painter is made for. So it's been good all around.

Love: What can I say? Andrew and I have been doing great. Every day that goes by it just gets better and better. There's a hitch now and then, but with each upset it gets easier and easier to handle and we're learning a lot about eachother and our needs. He's tons of fun to be around and he continues to find new and exciting things to talk about. He thrilled with the characters I've been working on and it's really been a blast being able to help him out. We make a good team. ^_^

Family: So far my grandma has been doing alright. It's still only a matter of time and she's lasted longer than anyone has expected of her. It hasn't been on my mind much lately, but it still hangs there as a constant reminder of how fragile life is. I haven't spent much time at home, but I know as the holidays roll around that will change. Christmas shopping is still on the "to do" list. I should probably try to get some of that done before the mad rush eh?

Life: It hasn't been quite as peaceful as I would like it to be. There's always something going on, but I've been able to flow with things pretty easy. I still really want to get some good, quiet, quality time alone with my thoughts to organise some things I've been distressed about. Just some reflection would be a good thing for me. The months have gone by like the snapping of fingers. I notice them because of the bills that show up in the mailbox. Hah. The apartment has maintained a sense of control with keeping clean and keeping food in the fridge, so that's been really nice.

Play: Clockwork is full of brats, both Chris and Andrew are eager to help me out with making a new forum. There's been no rush really, but the daunting nature of the site has just really put me out and I can't just concentrate on my writing as easily. So yeah. The maps are sort of on hold, but now that King D'Ganos is finished I can pick up on those again. Plus I have a small pic of Rin and Khal to finish. I'm slowly getting back into EvE and most of my friends are glad to see it. It will still be a while before I can dedicate some REAL time to it, but it's rolling along at the very least and I'm excited about it. Andrew's helping ^.^'

That about wraps up what's been goin on. We'll have to wait and see what deviations I come up with next. XD Watch me post those maps.....with textures, lol. <.<'

-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-
_____________

MY FRIENDS

http://Starkadder.deviantart.com/journal/15436438/ Fri, 09 Nov 2007 15:33:47 PST

To realize
The value of a sister
Ask someone
Who doesn't have one.

To realize
The value of ten years:
Ask a newly
Divorced couple

To realize
The value of four years:
Ask a graduate.

To realize
The value of one year:
Ask a student who
Has failed a final exam.

To realize
The value of nine months:
Ask a mother who gave birth to a stillborn.

To realize
The value of one month:
Ask a mother
Who has given birth to
A premature baby.

To realize
The value of one week:
Ask an editor of a weekly newspaper.

To realize
The value of one minute:
Ask a person
Who has missed the train, bus or plane.

To realize
The value of one-second:
Ask a person
Who has survived an accident.

Time waits for no one.
Treasure every moment you have.

You will treasure it even more when
You can share it with someone special.

To realize the value of a friend or family member: lose one.
Cherish the ones you have.

^_^

-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-
_____________

MY FRIENDS

http://Starkadder.deviantart.com/journal/15279294/ Mon, 29 Oct 2007 20:28:26 PDT
I'm planning on inviting people out Wednesday night for candy, video games, and movies (The Shining and Beetlejuice). This list includes Andrew, Jcat, Gerald, Ayaka, Ken and Kyle, Nick and Jess, and Aaron and company and Chris and Steph...this is if ya'll wanna come. Just to chill, have snacks and pop, conversate. ^_^ I DO want to watch ghost hunters though and that starts at 9 I think? I'll be out of work by 6:30 if all goes well and movies will begin promptly after. Party time will close down at approximately 2am for those who have work and school. If you just wanna stop out and say hi that's kewl too, don't have to stay if you have other plans, but AT LEAST come by and say hello! ^_^ This is really my only Halloween dress up time, so yeah, I'll be dressed up if I can find the stuff i want. <.<

In other news, work is gettin busy and demanding, but I'm shining through and am looking forward to being hired soon. I got all the programs and files off my laptop.... I'm sooooo going to miss it. Andrew's main character is SO close to being done. OMG. Once he's done I'm going to try and plow through one more before the term is up.

So far my grandma is doing ok, but we're still not sure how much longer she's going to be around. It's really only a matter of time.

So progress is kinda getting done on everything slowly but surely. It's all down to time management at this point. I'm not stuck on games or posting on clockwork, so I'm gettin done what needs to be done, it's just still busy. x_x;

Also, everyone say hello to Sari! [link] She's a friend of mine from Clockwork, has some writing up, plans to maybe post some things when she gets ahold of a scanner. ^_^

-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-
_____________

MY FRIENDS

~Starkadder LAME http://Starkadder.deviantart.com/journal/15202277/ http://Starkadder.deviantart.com/journal/15202277/ Wed, 24 Oct 2007 13:28:59 PDT

Fall is dumping on me this year -_-;
how very unkewl...

-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-
_____________

MY FRIENDS

]]> ~Starkadder