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        <title>deviantART: by:StaticGamedude</title>
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        <pubDate>Fri, 01 Jan 2010 09:42:24 PST</pubDate>        
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                  <item>
                <title>This Is My Goodbye</title>
                <link>http://StaticGamedude.deviantart.com/journal/26640516/</link>
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                <pubDate>Mon, 17 Aug 2009 00:24:03 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ My Goodbye to DeviantArt. Well....some non so great things have happened in my life...and well...you can say i have changed as a person...a person that many of you may not like...Ive become to hate life more, for so far..all i see and feel is pain. As well as me being a different person, but my goals have changed. One goal that has changed is, i no longer want to become an artist, or become at art, the only form of art i will continue to pursue is my art in music. So if my artist goals have disapeared, i should no longer keep this deviantart. If any of you, who actually read this want to keep in contact, your best chances is on AIM (StaticOwnage) or my new email AkaStatic@yahoo.com. Yes, my life is different now, my view on life on different, my goals in life are different, and me in gerneral am a different person. Goodbye DA and goodbye others, its my time to sign off<br /><br />The Last Farewell,<br /><br />-Static<br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>~StaticGamedude</author>
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          <item>
                <title>I Hate My Mind....</title>
                <link>http://StaticGamedude.deviantart.com/journal/26329311/</link>
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                <pubDate>Sun, 02 Aug 2009 00:52:05 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ Yes, Its basically the title...I Hate mind...My thoughts..Where to start...well...my home life, isnt so great..and whenever something happens...i get upset..then the anger turns to sadness..and from there, my thoughts wonder. They wonder from thought to thought. Non being positive, all being negative. I try not to think of them, but it fails everytime. My heart begins to race, and my head starts to pound. I hate these thoughts...they only cause more trouble in my life, and sometimes others. I Hate myself mentally. Many say, im a very intelligent person...but i can not see it for what i do to myself. My thoughts, they start small, but later explodes. Which...is where i am now, i had an amazing and great day today. but then what happened at home has easily brought me into this state...I hate my mind, my mental thoughts..Like i said earlier people say im intelligent, i give good strong advice, and know what to do in tough situations...but yet..why..why does this happen to me...this state is unbearable. I think such negative things...and i start to worry strongly about certain things...and the only way i can get out of this state is until everything is explain to me, or my questions are answer...but not always that can happen...just right now...im freaking about things i KNOW i shouldnt be freaking out about...but yet for what my thoughts have lead to me too...it still makes me question...and i dont know when ill find out those questions but the only thing to help calm myself was by witting in this, and yet this barley did much...but its something..<br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>~StaticGamedude</author>
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                <title>Expressions</title>
                <link>http://StaticGamedude.deviantart.com/journal/26245734/</link>
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                <pubDate>Wed, 29 Jul 2009 01:01:07 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ Well, where do i start? Ever have something on ur mind? something big on ur heart? Though when u try to think of ways to express ur feelings on the situations, your thoughts keep comming blank. Well thats whats happening to me...I have a certain situation that is on my heart, and i cant think of a way to express on it. I tried writing a journal entry on it..but that didnt work. I tried thinking of something to draw related to it, and that just came up blank as well. I tried writing song lyrics about it, and you guessed it...blank. *sighs* well, i thought it would help if i could write about how i can express the situation, which is pretty much why this entry is being made right now. Some of you who may be reading this might be wondering, "what happened?" Well...i cant really explain...but lets say....Its a huge and major thing in my life..and its probably one of the biggest things that has ever happened to me..and its pretty much why its hard for me to talk about...but I ask of one thing from everyone reading this...Please...pray for me...i really need it right now...It would mean a lot to me...Thank you<br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>~StaticGamedude</author>
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                <title>I Can Wait Forever</title>
                <link>http://StaticGamedude.deviantart.com/journal/25910273/</link>
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                <pubDate>Sun, 12 Jul 2009 23:33:56 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ Hey guys, well this is a song im really relating to at the moment, so im putting the lyrics below<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />I Can Wait Forever - Simple Plan<br /><br /><br />You look so beautiful today<br />When you're sitting there it's hard for me to look away<br />So i try to find the words that i could say<br />I know distance doesn't matter but you feel so far away<br />And I cant lie<br />Every time I leave my heart turns gray<br />And I want to come back home to see your face<br />And I<br />Cause I just cant take it<br /><br />Another day without you with me<br />Is like a blade that cuts right through me<br />But I can wait<br />I can wait forever<br />When you call my heart stops beating<br />When you're gone it wont stop bleeding<br />But I can wait<br />I can wait forever<br /><br />You look so beautiful today<br />It's like every time I turn around I see your face<br />The thing I miss the most is waking up next to you<br />When I look into your eyes, I wish that I could stay<br />And I cant lie<br />Every time I leave my heart turns gray<br />And I want to come back home to see your face<br />And I<br />Cause I just cant take it<br /><br />Another day without you with me<br />Is like a blade that cuts right through me<br />But I can wait<br />I can wait forever<br />When you call my heart stops beating<br />When you're gone it wont stop bleeding<br />But I can wait<br />I can wait forever<br /><br />I know it feels like forever<br />I guess that's just the price I gotta pay<br />But when I come back home to feel your touch<br />Makes it better<br />Till that day<br />Theres nothing else that I can do<br />And I just cant take it<br />I just cant take it<br /><br />Another day without you with me<br />Is like a blade that cuts right through me<br />But i can wait<br />I can wait forever (I can wait forever)<br />When you call my heart stops beating<br />When you're gone it wont stop bleeding<br />But I can wait<br />I can wait forever<br />I can wait forever<br />I can wait forever...<br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>~StaticGamedude</author>
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                <title>Happy Three Months, I Love you</title>
                <link>http://StaticGamedude.deviantart.com/journal/25872176/</link>
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                <pubDate>Sat, 11 Jul 2009 01:20:16 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ Well, some of you who read this may wonder what i mean...well, Its officially July 11th, and its the 3 month anniversary of me and Lily. Though, she is not here, and cant see this entry but i felt like writting it anyway...Lily, wrote me a letter before she went on the trip titled "Do not open until July 11th, 2009" and since thats today i read it, and well...the very first line..i started to cry..and actually, i will admit, im actually crying as i write this, I love you Lily, i know u cant see this now, but i love you, with all my heart. I love the beautiful relationship we have, and i cant wait to spend many more months with you. Happy Three Months, I love you Amy<br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>~StaticGamedude</author>
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                <title>I Miss Her... / Small Chance</title>
                <link>http://StaticGamedude.deviantart.com/journal/25787651/</link>
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                <pubDate>Tue, 07 Jul 2009 02:10:21 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ You all can probabbly guess who im talking about by the tittle. As many of you know Lily went on a trip for a month, and well, i miss her very much. I keep thinking of her, and im not sure what to do, so i decide to write about it. Writting at the moment will help calm me a bit. But Be Warned : Some of you may find this corny XP. Well...lily has been gone...exactly two weeks now, and i miss everything about her..Her laugh, her smile, her eyes, her face, everything..I miss when i would sign on AIM and see her sn come online. I miss it when she would call me during the day. I miss it when we hold hands. Unfortuanatly, we cant speak on the phone while shes there, and she has no internet for email. Two more weeks, and i get to see and talk to the one i love again.  I just hope these weeks go by fast. This small part is for Lily, i know she cant read this until she gets back but theres still that small chance...that really small microscopic chance that you found an internet cafe and decide to check ur deviant. But Lily, if you ever do get to read this, I miss you so much and know that I love you, and i will be waiting for you when you come back. I hope your having fun, and I hope everything is all right. I love you.<br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>~StaticGamedude</author>
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                <title>Everythings Magic</title>
                <link>http://StaticGamedude.deviantart.com/journal/25056212/</link>
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                <pubDate>Sun, 31 May 2009 17:35:52 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ First, let me say this, Occasionally, i will put up the lyrics of a song that really means a lot to me. and sometimes i just want to know what other people think. This Song is Called Everythings Magic by Angels And Airwaves. Let me know what you guys think.<br /><br />"And do you ever feel like you're alone?<br />And do you ever wish you'd be unknown?<br />I could say that I have..<br />I could say that I have..<br />And do you ever feel things here aren't right?<br />And do you ever feel the time slip by?<br />I can say that I have..<br />And I can say that I have..<br /><br />So hear this please<br />And watch as your heart speeds up endlessly<br />And look for the stars as the sun goes down<br />Each breath that you take has a thunderous sound<br />Everything, everything's magic<br />Just sit back and hold on, but hold on tight<br />Prepare for the best and the fastest ride<br />And reach out your hand, and i'll make you mine<br />Everything, everything's magic<br /><br />And do you ever lay awake at night?<br />And do you ever tell yourself don't try?<br />Don't try to let yourself down<br />Don't try to let yourself down<br />And do you ever see yourself in love?<br />And do you ever take a chance, my love?<br />Because you know that I will..<br />Because you know that I will..<br /><br />So hear this please<br />And watch as your hearts speeds up endlessly<br />And look for the stars as the sun goes down<br />Each breath that you take has a thunderous sound<br />Everything, everything's magic<br />Just sit back and hold on, but hold on tight<br />Prepare for the best and the fastest ride<br />And reach out your hand, and i'll make you mine<br />Everything, everything's magic<br />Everything, everything's magic<br /><br />So hear this please<br />And watch as your hearts speeds up endlessly<br />And look for the stars as the sun goes down<br />Each breath that you take has a thunderous sound<br />Everything, everything's magic<br />Just sit back and hold on, but hold on tight<br />Prepare for the best and the fastest ride<br />And reach out your hand, and i'll make you mine<br />Everything, everything's magic"<br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>~StaticGamedude</author>
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                <title>The Mental Chamber, Pain seals you in....</title>
                <link>http://StaticGamedude.deviantart.com/journal/25025139/</link>
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                <pubDate>Sat, 30 May 2009 00:03:41 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ ...The Mental Chamber...one may wonder, what...what mental chamber..? Oh...this chamber isnt like any other chamber...this chamber is one horrible, dark place. The is no light but the crease of the chamber...you try and try to push the chamber open, but your arms collapse from the tremendous weight being applied on the other side. Your try and try to escape, but everytime you fail, your blood...on the floor, spilled from your head, from ur falls...blood...on your arms, from ur scrapes and bruises...your body...is weak...no food...no water...you are left completly alone...your legs feel broke from the lack of engery. Whenever you tried to stand up, you collapse. Though, you pull ur self to the creases of light shining through of the chamber....and you see all the pain that is pressing you in, that is damaging your body, but past that...you see peace...you see happiness..you may be wondering...what happened? To be honest...im not even sure for myself...for i am locked in this mental chamber. I am happy? I am sad? I am hurt? I dont know how i feel? My mind is a mental destruction. I cannot think, i cannot feel anything else...theres one thing i feel right now which is emotional pain..Here is the thing...there is one way to cure the pain, but, that would bring pain to someone else...not just one person...but two....so...what am i do to? I remain in this chamber...i will lie on the cold floor, covered with my own blood and wait. Wait till the answer for my freedom comes up, I will somehow find the energy to give my weak body enough, to stand up, and push this chamber open....but, healing needs to be done first....my broken legs, my cuts, my bruises, my cracked head...it will all need healing...but...i cannot get this healing, if this pain continues to press againt this chamber, if this pain keeps entering my wounds that have been deeply cut already, pain will add up, slowly, very slowing, tearing me apart, piece by piece in side, mentaly, and emotionaly. Will you help me exit this chamber?<br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>~StaticGamedude</author>
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          <item>
                <title>Love? How Wonderful It Is =] / Shoutout &lt;3</title>
                <link>http://StaticGamedude.deviantart.com/journal/24968862/</link>
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                <pubDate>Tue, 26 May 2009 20:03:22 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ Love, What is there say about love? To be honest, there is TONS we can say. And these past couple days...well, there is one very special person...who has been showing me tons of love. and the feeling and emotions i get from this, is truly, truly great. The best part is, loving that same person who loves you. The feeling...is truly amazing. First let me define the world "Love." (Note: This is clearly all my opinion, im sorry if u disagree XP)Love is where one person, deeply and truly cares for another person.  Love is when a person is willing to go to worlds end for that person. Love is where a person is wanting to do anything, and i mean anything to have the one they love come up with a smile, even the smallest of smiles; just the small smirk, antyhing will do. Love, is when you are there for the person, ALWAYS through good and bad. Through all the hard times, through all the good times. Love is when you share pain, yes its not fun, but when the one u lovei s in pain, you tend the feel the same pain, the pain shifts over to you, and you wish you could take the pain from them and place it on ur shoulders. Love...there so much to say,but cannot be spoken by words. Love is truly amazing. (remember, basicly, what i just said, is mainly hopw i feel towards someone when I tell them, I love them) But ya, recently, the one i love deeply, has been showing me, so much love, So much love, that i wish i could show nearly as much as shes shown me. Shoutout: Lily, Thank you so much, so very much, for the tremendous love you show me in our amazing relationship. Like one of our friends said today "Your lucky to have her!!" Shes right, I feel like im the luckiest person alive to have you <3 I Love you, and I will be a better person to you, I will do everythign i can do to make you happy. I Love you Lily <333<br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>~StaticGamedude</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>What To Do..</title>
                <link>http://StaticGamedude.deviantart.com/journal/24935556/</link>
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                <pubDate>Mon, 25 May 2009 03:17:46 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ Well....like i said in my last journal "Words Hurt, But Thoughts Hurt More"...i dont know how long this pain will go away....and that was about....4 hours ago? my clock says 3:08 and i cant sleep because of my thoughts and my pain. Though..me staying up this late made me think..theres something I want to do. She says im doing a fine job...but..I need to be better to her...I need to be a better person to her..After all she has done for me...I NEED to be better...I feel like...all ive truly given her is stress and make things difficult. Our relationship we have is amazing, truly beautiful, i just....just wish I could be better...She is so wonderful to me, I Must return it. I...I MUST...I promised her, I'd Show Her the world, and I will...I Need to be better....I will fight through my pain to be better...i will do it...<br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>~StaticGamedude</author>
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          <item>
                <title>Words Hurt, But Thoughts Hurt More</title>
                <link>http://StaticGamedude.deviantart.com/journal/24933772/</link>
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                <pubDate>Sun, 24 May 2009 23:11:35 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ Pain....Pain Inflicted...Inflicted by who? Its Actually nobody but just one person, just one person to be specific...that person? That person is me...<br /><br /><br /><br />*sigh* what to do...There are times where it isnt someone elses words or thoughts that hurt you....its your very own that hurt. Why, do i do this to myself? That is a question i would very much like to know for myself. Yes, im an emotional guy, but with me being emotional, and with my thoughts of logic, its not always easy...it doesnt always make sense...at times...it brings tons of pain...pain that hurts a lot. Pain that is noticeable quickly, pain that throws ur breathing off. Though, most of us, our thoughts that come into our mind, are usually false statements, so most easy throw them out quickly. But, sometimes, depending on that thought, although i know it should be nothing, it effects me big...and hard. That thought....its not a quick thing...it sticks in...and stays...delievering pain every second...Let me give you an example of how such thoughts effect me. The thought enters my head, and the second that thought has reached the end of the sentence...Bang, Hit 1. Sharp pain instantly delievers to my body, effect me how I think, how I see, and how I breathe. I sit there, question, how did it get to this...? From the bullet laying in my head, the damage is increasing along with the pain. But suddenly....my mind...trying to struggle to find solutions to fix that though...that thought gets stronger....Bang, Hit 2, this bullet has turned into a detenator, exploading within my mind delievering pain unimaginable...And the time to heal is unknown....sometimes is a day, sometimes its a week, maybe longer.....*sigh* many of you who read this may think...."this is stupid..." well....its not to me...for the pain bring towards myself isnt fun.....and writting sometimes is the only way to help the pain go down even the slightest level. I, myself, do not know why this happens....I dont know why I do this to myself...but everytime...it does...and the pain grows and grows...I...just have to keep doing what ive been doing for years and years now....I have to take the pain....just take it, and hold it....take it, and control it, until the pain decides to leave my body, and leave my body to rest...<br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>~StaticGamedude</author>
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          <item>
                <title>How I wish I was an Artist</title>
                <link>http://StaticGamedude.deviantart.com/journal/24916009/</link>
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                <pubDate>Sat, 23 May 2009 23:05:19 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ There are times in my life, where I start searching for certain art. I see photography art, and tons of drawings. Then in my mind, I think of many designs many drawings I could do, but yet, if I try to put it down on paper, It is destroyed. My thoughts in my head can never me put down onto paper. Well, some may think, why not try photography? Well, though they are many scences and pictures I see online, but i can never find things like that in the world. I dont have an eye to find such amazing things such as those. *sigh* but what can i do? Hope is basicly it. Ah oh well.<br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>~StaticGamedude</author>
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          <item>
                <title>About Me</title>
                <link>http://StaticGamedude.deviantart.com/journal/24915176/</link>
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                <pubDate>Sat, 23 May 2009 21:49:00 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ Well, many of you who first may read this, may think, "who the...?" lol, im new to deviantart (obviously) but most of you can call me Static.I made the deviantart well for a certain someone thats very special to me <3 and also sometimes i like to speak about certain feeling or emotions. Ya, i have strong opinions on certain topics and subject and may speak of them randomly, but ill be writting journal entries in this whenever i have the time. Well, some of you may be wonder who that "certain someone, thats very special to me" is, well im a wonderful, fantastic, beautiful relationship wtih Lily. She means a lot to me, and I am extremly lucky to have someone such as her =] What else about me....umm...well...i guess u can say im musical. I play drums and some of the guitar, and my music preference is rock/punk/alternative/metal but ill listen to anything =] I hope to meet lots of people, and please feel free to talk to me for advice =] Feel free to send a message <img src="http://e.deviantart.com/emoticons/b/biggrin.gif" width="15" height="15" alt="=D" title="=D (Big Grin)" /><br /><br />- Static<br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>~StaticGamedude</author>
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