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~Substance20 http://Substance20.deviantart.com/journal/25084308/ http://Substance20.deviantart.com/journal/25084308/ Tue, 02 Jun 2009 07:56:28 PDT
In case anybody is wondering, submitting a heaven-knows-how-long review for some PSP game sort of got that reaction from myself after watching it push the tables on the right hand side of my main deviant page down towards Hades, right where Cerberus' doggy dish is.

So, um...that's all, folks. Cheerio. For now.

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~Substance20 http://Substance20.deviantart.com/journal/16856838/ http://Substance20.deviantart.com/journal/16856838/ Tue, 12 Feb 2008 23:14:05 PST
It's been a while since I wrote a review, so to my dear readers--all five of you--please bear with me on this one. For the sake of brevity, I'll only comment on the important parts, but knowing how long-winded my writings can get, I doubt it'll be brief.

First, the gameplay. Make no mistake: this is genuine old-school, no-holds-barred "you can only control your jumps so much so make it count" Akumajou Dracula. I have seen a number of players make pointed statements about Richter's lack of general mobility and limited moveset, some even issuing this as a warning to those who have only gotten into the series after Koji Igarashi wowed his audiences with Symphony of the Night and its technical offspring. I could understand this, having gone through SotN and the two Game Boy Advance titles (Circle of the Moon and Harmony of Dissonance) and appreciating the sheer controllability of their protagonists, as opposed to old school Castlevania. There's simply no comparing a guy who can backdash, run and do other cool stuff to a dude who jumps in a kneeling posture and walks like he's suffering from a back injury.

But here's the thing: It's a remake of an old school CV series entry. The player should always keep that in mind. There are no fancy air dashes, super jumps or slide kicks in this game; in fact, apart from Maria and her rather impressive repertoire of moves, your player character basically moves like a traditional Belmont (i.e. walks and jumps around like a disgruntled cast member from West Side Story). Sure, it may be argued how that Iga should have tried to redesign things to create a highly modified remake of the original Rondo of Blood, similar to what Konami originally did with Super Castlevania IV. I can agree with that; I persoanlly would encourage it. But this is an almost exact remake, and that's the gameplan IGA stuck to for experimental purposes. So how does it hold up?

Pretty good, actually. Richter has enough moves to fare pretty well against the toughest situations. The backflip, in particular, works really well if you put some practice into it, and when used correctly it can save your life many times. In fact, mastering the backflip is essential for defeating bosses like the Minotaur and even Dracula. His walking speed? Just enough to get you around and about while avoiding enemies.You don't need the dash move in this game. In fact I think it can be argued that any faster and Richter might either get killed easily in levels 3, 4', 5 and 5' by accidentally running into a pit, or would breeze through the levels so quickly the entire game would lose its challenge (I've read once that playing as Maria is basically an "Easy Mode" of sorts for the game--I tend to agree, sans her somewhat difficult double jump).

And that's the point. The challenge of Castlevania's early platforming schema was pitting your limited moveset against the level designs and enemy placements. Gaming has always been about sticking to the rules and how far you can get with what you've been given or allowed to do. And this game delivers just that. In fact, here's a golden thing about this game: you can jump on and off stairs. Yes, you heard me. If you're the least bit familiar with how irritating the first few Castlevania games were for not giving you extra mobility while climbing stairs (ref: the in-joke from the Hideo Kojima game "Snatcher"), you'll love this feature.

On the innovation side, I have to admit; this is where the gameplay does fall short, and I must confess that the coming of Symphony of the Night and its descendants has literally changed the landscape of Castlevania and how players, especially the current crop, perceive and appreciate it. While I have whipped through my share of first- and second-generation Castlevania games, it must be admitted that the Metroidvania entires have helped redefine the series in general from linear platformer to castle crawling RPG. In other words, the classic style of Castlevania platforming now seems to be way past its bedtime. Don't get me wrong here; I found it very enjoyable, and I can hazard a good guess that after many years have come and gone (Lord willing), people will still be returning to this genre. But I found it to be likewise dated, and the Metroidvania engine itself is now entering its 11th year in the industry. Iga, of course, rec... ]]> ~Substance20 http://Substance20.deviantart.com/journal/16829800/ http://Substance20.deviantart.com/journal/16829800/ Mon, 11 Feb 2008 09:19:14 PST I fled Him, down the arches of the years;
I fled Him, down the labyrinthine ways
Of my own mind; and in the mist of tears
I hid from Him, and under running laughter.
Up vistaed hopes I sped;
And shot, precipitated,
Adown Titanic glooms of chasmed fears,
From those strong Feet that followed, followed after.
But with unhurrying chase,
And unperturbèd pace,
Deliberate speed, majestic instancy,
They beat - and a Voice beat
More instant than the Feet -
"All things betray thee, who betrayest Me."

I pleaded, outlaw-wise,
By many a hearted casement, curtained red,
Trellised with intertwining charities;
(For, though I knew His love Who followèd,
Yet I was sore adread
Lest, having Him, I must have naught beside.)
But, if one little casement parted wide,
The gust of His approach would clash it to.
Fear wist not to evade as Love wist to pursue.
Across the margent of the world I fled,
And troubled the gold gateways of the stars,
Smiting for shelter on their clangèd bars;
Fretted to dulcet jars
And silvern chatter the pale ports o' the moon.
I said to Dawn: Be sudden - to Eve: Be soon;
With thy young skiey blossoms heap me over
From this tremendous Lover -
Float thy vague veil about me, lest He see!
I tempted all His servitors, but to find
My own betrayal in their constancy,
In faith to Him their fickleness to me,
Their traitorous trueness, and their loyal deceit.
To all swift things for swiftness did I sue;
Clung to the whistling mane of every wind.
But whether they swept, smoothly fleet,
The long savannahs of the blue;
Or whether, Thunder-driven,
They clanged His chariot 'thwart a heaven,
Plashy with flying lightnings round the spurn o' their feet: -
Fear wist not to evade as Love wist to pursue.
Still with unhurrying chase,
And unperturbèd pace,
Deliberate speed, majestic instancy,
Came on the following Feet,
And a Voice above their beat -
"Naught shelters thee, who wilt not shelter Me."

Now of that long pursuit
Comes on at had the bruit;
That Voice is round me like a bursting sea:
"And is thy earth so marred,
Shattered in shard on shard?
Lo, all things fly thee, for thou fliest Me!
Strange, piteous, futile thing!
Wherfore should any set thee love apart?
Seeing none but I make much of naught" (He said),
"And human love needs human meriting:
How hast thou merited -
Of all man's clotted clay, the dingiest clot?
Alack, thou knowest not
How little worthy of any love thou art!
Whom wilt thou find to love ignoble thee,
Save Me, save only Me?
All which I took from thee I did but take,
Not for thy harms,
But just that thou might'st seek it in My arms.
All which thy child's mistake
Fancies as lost, I have stored for thee at home:
Rise, clasp My hand, and come."

Halts by me that footfall:
Is my gloom, after all,
Shade of His hand, outstretched caressingly?
"Ah, fondest, blindest, weakest,
I am He Whom thou seekest!
Thou dravest love from thee, who dravest Me."

--Francis Thompson, The Hound of Heaven

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http://Substance20.deviantart.com/journal/16621456/ Mon, 28 Jan 2008 23:39:39 PST
Anybody who has even talked to me about video games will immediately find that, while I am not against 3D gaming altogether--I've been known to tear up a few things in MGS, Vagrant Story, Half-Life and some of its variant mods, Unreal Tournament and Tekken 3 back in the day, and I still play some 3D games--I am more of an old school, 2D scrolling pixel art guy. Games like Castlevania, Metal Slug and KOF still hold a special place of sorts in my life, and people who have tangled with me in the arcades long ago know about my former Guilty Gear fanaticism (I stopped playing the game and vowed never to touch it again for various reasons, but let's not get into that).

The thing is, I've decided to convert one of Ethereal Studios' comic book projects, specifically our gothic-action/horror series Twilight Oratorio into a video game. One of the reasons being the fact that it was directly inspired by Castlevania, Vampire Hunter D and (to a lesser extent) Devil May Cry, and the other reason being that I have long planned to create my own variation of Castlevania.

The problem was that I had no idea if there was still a market for 2D games nowadays, what with all the 3D merchandise coming out like MGS4, FFXIII et cetera. So I did a little market research (not saying it was big), and I ended up coming across a news item covering a presentation by Castlevania's leading man Koji Igarashi, incidentally, from the Joystiq gaming website. The news item had a comments section, so I delved into the fray and read through the various posts.

Incidentally, it seems there is still a market for 2D games. The thing now is, if, say, I translate such-and-such into the XBox 360, PS3 or what next gen console have you, will it still work out? Bearing in mind that not everybody appreciates 2D games (the current market generation, IMO, appears to possess a mindset that seems to be hooked on anything created with texture-mapped polygons and elaborate lighting techniques), I wonder if it will still sell.

Now, remember that I'm not against 3D games. But the thing is, I do not think Twilight Oratorio will work just as well if I force it into 3D. Barring all the more complex arguments surrounding this issue--as experience has shown it tends to be a hot-button topic for many--I do not think it will have the same feel if I use a 3D interface. Even if it's as fast paced as Devil May Cry or God of War (both action based titles), the general feel of the game would be much different than if it were only being played along 2 axes (x and y). Furthermore, while I can't spoil too much of anything except to those people who are aware of this project (you know who you are), there are certain elements in it which would make the game seem like an oddball mix between God of War, some random platformer and Resident Evil if it were presented in 3D format.

IOW: Juxtaposed.

Maybe it's just me, and I love the 2D Castlevania games--or 80's-90's old school games in general--too much. That's one of the problems: we all have our biases. However, and PLEASE take note of this (most people just throw up their hands and scream the "open-mindedness" mantra without thinking of it beforehand), biases are necessary or we wouldn't have the ability to make any judgment calls on anything. It's one thing to be biased, and it's another thing altogether if your bias, in conjunction with being absolutely necessary, makes perfect sense. The question then is if my bias to a 2D title makes sense.

Let's take a look: 2D games are generally cheaper to make. There are perhaps hundreds of well-made 2D games out there, some of them freeware bits from Japan like Cave Story (which was--get this--made by only ONE person) and MindArms. Why? All you need is a decent painting program which can handle pixels well, a knowledge of animation, and a good handle with a programming language (or Game Maker, which I personally use). Contrast this with, say, Resident Evil 4. Judging by what I was told regarding rendering times, you might say one would be in for a huge problem waiting for something to be fully texturized, and that's not counting rigging, lighting, etc. You need bigger guns. And I don't have those bigger guns.

Furthermore, and I must be careful not to spoil too much of anything here, there are elements I plan to put in the game that are more contextually suited for a 2D layout. The Metroidvania games (SotN, CotM, HoD, AoS, DoS, MD, PhD, MBA, BFA, etc.), while not all deserving of the title "great", succeeded in combining exploration with platforming elements. While TO will... ]]> ~Substance20 http://Substance20.deviantart.com/journal/16266460/ http://Substance20.deviantart.com/journal/16266460/ Sat, 05 Jan 2008 07:20:22 PST O world intangible, we touch thee,
O world unknowable, we know thee,
Inapprehensible, we clutch thee!

Does the fish soar to find the ocean,
The eagle plunge to find the air--
That we ask of the stars in motion
If they have rumor of thee there?

Not where the wheeling systems darken,
And our benumbed conceiving soars!--
The drift of pinions, would we hearken,
Beats at our own clay-shuttered doors.

The angels keep their ancient places--
Turn but a stone and start a wing!
'Tis ye, 'tis your estrangèd faces,
That miss the many-splendored thing.

But (when so sad thou canst not sadder)
Cry--and upon thy so sore loss
Shall shine the traffic of Jacob's ladder
Pitched betwixt Heaven and Charing Cross.

Yea, in the night, my Soul, my daughter,
Cry--clinging to Heaven by the hems;
And lo, Christ walking on the water,
Not of Genesareth, but Thames!

-- Francis Thompson, The Kingdom of God

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Off Site Links
Alpha & Omega Ministries - The Christian Apologetics Ministry of Dr. James R. White
Answers in Genesis - Creationism vs. Evolutionism apologetics resource
Institute for Creation Research - Another Creation Science organization.
The Church of the Threshold - Resources for Reformed Theology
International Christian Concern - Advocacy and support institute for persecuted Christians around the globe.
Creative Uncut - Where I get my references from. ~Substance20 http://Substance20.deviantart.com/journal/15181294/ http://Substance20.deviantart.com/journal/15181294/ Mon, 22 Oct 2007 23:13:59 PDT
So let's start with the following. Hope you enjoy.

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Off Site Links
Alpha & Omega Ministries - The Christian Apologetics Ministry of Dr. James R. White
Answers in Genesis - Creationism vs. Evolutionism apologetics resource
Institute for Creation Research - Another Creation Science organization.
The Church of the Threshold - Resources for Reformed Theology
International Christian Concern - Advocacy and support institute for persecuted Christians around the globe.
Creative Uncut - Where I get my references from.

]]> ~Substance20 http://Substance20.deviantart.com/journal/14911270/ http://Substance20.deviantart.com/journal/14911270/ Thu, 04 Oct 2007 10:58:55 PDT
-----

"If any man sin, we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous." 1 John 2:1

"If any man sin, we have an advocate." Yes, though we sin, we have him still. John does not say, "If any man sin he has forfeited his advocate," but "we have an advocate," sinners though we are. All the sin that a believer ever did, or can be allowed to commit, cannot destroy his interest in the Lord Jesus Christ, as his advocate.

The name here given to our Lord is suggestive. "Jesus." Ah! then he is an advocate such as we need, for Jesus is the name of one whose business and delight it is to save. "They shall call his name Jesus, for he shall save his people from their sins." His sweetest name implies his success.

Next, it is "Jesus Christ"—Christos, the anointed. This shows his authority to plead. The Christ has a right to plead, for he is the Father’s own appointed advocate and elected priest. If he were of our choosing he might fail, but if God hath laid help upon one that is mighty, we may safely lay our trouble where God has laid his help. He is Christ, and therefore authorized; he is Christ, and therefore qualified, for the anointing has fully fitted him for his work. He can plead so as to move the heart of God and prevail. What words of tenderness, what sentences of persuasion will the anointed use when he stands up to plead for me!

One more letter of his name remains, "Jesus Christ the righteous." This is not only his character BUT his plea. It is his character, and if the Righteous One be my advocate, then my cause is good, or he would not have espoused it. It is his plea, for he meets the charge of unrighteousness against me by the plea that he is righteous. He declares himself my substitute and puts his obedience to my account. My soul, thou hast a friend well fitted to be thine advocate, he cannot but succeed; leave thyself entirely in his hands.

----------------

Note: The above is for Christians, true believers blood bought by Christ and indwelt by the Spirit. The promise of advocacy is only for the humble, repentant sinner who is a member of God's own elect, his church.

Outside of Christ there is no hope of salvation, no advocacy of Christ, no forgiveness of sins and no washing of regeneration and renewing of the Holy Spirit. Repent of your sins and unbelief and turn to Him for your deliverance.

]]> ~Substance20 http://Substance20.deviantart.com/journal/14296679/ http://Substance20.deviantart.com/journal/14296679/ Thu, 23 Aug 2007 00:09:37 PDT
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I'll be fielding questions about what Press+Start is all about in this blog. Suffice to say that the story revolves around a contemporary example of Solomon's wisdom in Ecclesiastes.

]]> ~Substance20 http://Substance20.deviantart.com/journal/14279923/ http://Substance20.deviantart.com/journal/14279923/ Tue, 21 Aug 2007 22:05:19 PDT here it is, in full black-and-white screentoned glory.

Page 01
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Lord willing, I will upload digitally screentoned updates of the non-toned pages sometime soon, as well as an English version. It's hard for me to translate the manga coherently into English, since I used a lot of Filipino puns. Needless to say, it will take some time. I apologize to those readers who couldn't get any of it.

]]> ~Substance20 http://Substance20.deviantart.com/journal/14072222/ http://Substance20.deviantart.com/journal/14072222/ Wed, 08 Aug 2007 10:18:48 PDT batangbatugan's journal--hey, you said I could tag myself with it).

~~~~~~~~~INTERESTING STUFF ABOUT MY ART~~~~~~~~~

#10) I have too many influences on my art that I'd easily fill up this section with a lot of names (including Eiji Shiroi, SHINKIRO and Jo Chen...).

#9) I learned what I know from copying other peoples' styles (yes, I'm not a self-styled artist).

#8) I don't like drawing outright Moe manga characters (you know, the ones with almond-shaped heads and big jewelled eyes that look like they occupy half their cerebral cavities). I prefer a more realistic approach to manga.

#7) I hate fanservice. Don't bother looking for any in my gallery (maybe that's one reason why I'm so unpopular....

#6) I'm a very fast but also VERY MESSY artist (owing to the amount of detail I like to put in my drawings---folds, accessories, whatever), though I can still get things done tightly. This is also why I make mistakes.

#5) I like drawing people, inanimate objects, architecture and the occasional vehicle or mecha. Animals are my major weakness. Lord willing, that will change soon enough.

#4) I rarely draw backgrounds for my art. Lord willing, that will also change soon enough, because I think backgrounds add more character.

#3) I love realism the most out of every art style. Conversely, I dislike certain types of abstractionism the most as well (particularly the postmodernist ones), except perhaps fractals.

#2) I love experimenting with and switching between different styles, which is why my gallery contains eclectic stuff.

AND THE #1 INTERESTING THING ABOUT MY ART...

#1) About 100% of the time, there will always be a few details gone wrong in any completed artwork of mine. Have fun looking for them.

]]> ~Substance20 http://Substance20.deviantart.com/journal/11439516/ http://Substance20.deviantart.com/journal/11439516/ Sun, 14 Jan 2007 19:56:32 PST
Well, it's been several freaking months and I haven't uploaded much of anything. But tonight I'll showcase a few endeavors of mine, and I would like to take opportunity of this time to rant about Yoshitaka Amano, everyone's favorite surrealist watercolor illustrator.

First of all, let's face it. The guy is...um...a genius of sorts. Yeah, that's it. So, being the darned Sharingan dude that I am, I embarked on a brave mission to hopefully emulate his art and make millions out of badly painted watercolor pieces with a curvy "Y. Amano 'XX" signature at the bottom, where X = current year of the new millenium.

Just kidding.

Anyway, seriously speaking...so I did manage to figure out *some* of Amano's quirks...how he draws, how he sketches, how he paints, what color shirt he wears on Saturdays...OK, so I didn't get to find out about the last part (although I DO know that he likes New York mailboxes...), but I managed to produce enough works *ALMOST* similar to his. Put greater emphasis on *ALMOST* there if you need to. I don't see myself mimicking his level of surrealism anytime in the next year.

The guy sketches rather loosely, so it seems. His mastery of the human form, combined with the exaggerations present in both ancient Japanese ukiyo-e (woodblock) printing and European art, and dashed together with a certain level of simplicity...utterly mind boggling. BUT: his secret, it appears, lies in the mastery of spontaneous sketching and gesture drawings. Two things I can do. Combine them with observational skills and you get much.........................cheese.

Right now I am still working on modifying Amano-san's style and transforming it into a hybrid technique with crisper, more defined lines and more sloid form. But when I DO get around to doing that (in around 50 years, maybe?) I'll post it here. Until then, you...make do with the stuff you'll see later on.

Pretty please.

God bless,
Mach

P.S. I had actually been working on Amano-san's style since last year, but only got around to posting these ue to the lack of a scanner in the interim. But now that I have my new CanoScan LiDE25 that magically works in Ubuntu 6.10 (Edgy Eft)...

--------
"...freedom without form produces nothing."
--Francis Schaeffer, The Church at the End of the 20th Century

]]> ~Substance20 http://Substance20.deviantart.com/journal/11167751/ http://Substance20.deviantart.com/journal/11167751/ Sat, 23 Dec 2006 22:08:49 PST not epistemological, as atheist crusaders like Richard Dawkins claim it to be) known to mankind as "science".

‘Many people, including many important and well-respected scientists, just don’t want there to be anything beyond nature. They don’t want a supernatural being to affect nature, no matter how brief or constructive the interaction may have been. In other words … they bring an a priori philosophical commitment to their science that restricts what kinds of explanations they will accept about the physical world. Sometimes this leads to rather odd behavior.’ (Michael Behe, Darwin's Black Box, The Free Press, New York, 1996, pp. 243)

And on the subject of all the hoopla about people not needing God or a religion to be "good people" (yes, that was featured even in the old PS1 game "Xenogears" at the end of Disc 2):

Good? What is good? How can you distinguish it from evil? On what basis do you think you are good and that your deeds are good? If there is no perfect God, then what is the source for goodness? Imperfect people? Imperfect societies? Imperfect parents? Majority rule? All of these have been shown to be fallible. (Bodie Hodge, "Do Christians do Good out of Selfish Motives?", Answers in Genesis. Dec. 18, 2006)

The fact of the matter is, God is inescapable. From the physical construction and components of both living and nonliving systems to the immaterial nature of thoughts, ideas, morality and meaning, God is far too evident. The question then becomes: "What are we to do with Him?"

We have only two choices: Run away with our fingers in our ears and yelling "I don't want to go to Him!!" like the spoiled children that we are, or fall down at His feet and say "Lord, I believe; help my unbelief!"

Wishing you a Christ-centered Christmas,
Mach

]]> ~Substance20 http://Substance20.deviantart.com/journal/7654878/ http://Substance20.deviantart.com/journal/7654878/ Fri, 20 Jan 2006 06:12:29 PST
A very close friend of mine once told me that maybe it's God's will for her to live according to the way she's living right now. Now I am aware that most people on earth either presume to know God's will or not give a rat's tail about it. But the purpose of this essay is to challenge the former; that is, how can one come to know about God's will?

To start off, here's a basic response: what is the basis by which one could come to know what God's will for him/her is? Is it a voice in the head? A coincidence? Or could it be something much more obvious, like a written authoritative code?

For true, orthodox Christians, there can be no other authority than what God has spoken of in His revealed Word. This is what the Bible says concerning God's will:

"...be not conformed to this world: but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may PROVE what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God." (Romans 12:2, emphasis mine)

This basically imples that that God has revealed His will concerning how we should live. He has revealed this in the Bible, first through the Patriarchal Covenants (one example is in Genesis 1-3, in which God gives Adam and Eve authority to rule over the rest of creation and to enjoy all of its benefits, with one minor restriction: not to eat of the tree of knowledge of good and evil [we all know how that one went...]. Other such covenants are the ones made between God and Abraham, Isaac and Jacob.) "And when Abram (Abraham) was ninety-nine years old, the LORD appeared to Abram, and said unto him, I am the Almighty God; walk before me, and be perfect." (Genesis 17:1)

The greatest example in the Old Testament is the Law of Moses, which can be found in the books of Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers and Deuteronomy. This Law has for its basis the Ten Commandments, followed by religious rituals and various socio-cultural laws.

Of course, the single most binding example throughout the whole Bible is the Gospel of Jesus Christ, which tells men to "Repent, and believe the Gospel, for the kingdom is at hand (Mark 1:15)".

Now, the single common factor between these things is that they are explicitly revealed to us so that we may follow what God says and live. BUT! There is what is called the HIDDEN will of God. These are things which God has decided to keep to Himself for purposes we do not know, such as the ultimate reasons for events or the knowledge of the future. A good example of this is found in the book of Job, especially chapters 38-42.

The Apostle Paul himself says of this matter, "O the depth of the riches both of the wisdom and knowledge of God! how unsearchable are his judgments, and his ways past finding out! For who hath known the mind of the Lord? or who hath been his counsellor? Or who hath first given to him, and it shall be recompensed unto him again? For of him, and through him, and to him, are all things: to whom be glory for ever. Amen." (Romans 11:33-36)

You see, the thing is by claiming that maybe it is God's will for one to live life the way one does without change or thought, one has confused God's hidden will with His revealed will. But God's hidden will is His alone to know: "...My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, says the LORD. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts (Isaiah 55:8-9)." To sum it up, Moses himself once said, "The secret things belong unto the LORD our God: but those things which are revealed belong unto us and to our children for ever, that we may do all the words of this law (Deuteronomy 29:29)."

The bottom line here is that the act of presuming to "maybe" know about God's will is a dangerous one. Not only are we claiming some other authority than God's revealed Word (which is to be taken as authority in and of itself, since they are the very words of God and God never changes [Malachi 3:6]) to be definitive on the matter, but such is a clear act of rebellion and abuse against God's good providence and sovereignty. ]]> ~Substance20 http://Substance20.deviantart.com/journal/7513716/ http://Substance20.deviantart.com/journal/7513716/ Thu, 05 Jan 2006 01:19:58 PST "Right and wrong are not what separate us and our enemies. It's our different standpoints, our perspectives that separate us. Both sides blame one another. There's no good or bad side. Just 2 sides holding different views."

At least this game gets more honest with its postmodern romanticism than its counterparts (with the exception of, perhaps, Hideo Kojima's MGS series). While in some aspects correct, Mr. Leonhart is obviously in error with his conclusion that there is no right and wrong. Allow me to explain:

a) By holding to a certain "perspective", as Squall calls it, you ALREADY hold to an interpretation of what is right and wrong. Hence one ends up contending with opposing viewpoints, as Squall points out; you can't have two opposing viewpoints true at the same time and in the same relationship. So yes, right and wrong (or what men perceive as right and wrong) are what DO separate people.

b) Interestingly, by believing in a certain worldview which dictates what right and wrong are, one has obviously submitted to a schematic of what good and bad are as well. Ergo, there really IS no neutral worldview, as Squall asserts earlier in the game ("We're not on anybody's side", owing to the fact that they're mercenaries...which then raises the question of what motivates mercenaries in the first place). We all have a concept of what good and bad are; it's just that most of these concepts DISAGREE with one another since all humans interpret the one objective reality differently.

c) Finally, this interpretation of the origin of conflicts in itself requires one to hold to a certain "perspective" as well--the self-refuting perspective of Moral Relativism!

Discussing the topic of which worldview is correct and which ones are false would require a separate (and lengthy!) written work, so I will not tackle it here. All I wished to show here is how Squall ultimately undermined himself. One would then have to wonder why they fought Ultimecia at all. ]]> ~Substance20 http://Substance20.deviantart.com/journal/7217354/ http://Substance20.deviantart.com/journal/7217354/ Sun, 04 Dec 2005 04:02:37 PST THEOCRACY
Theocracy

At the center of my heart there sits a throne
That the rightful occupant's not always
free to call His own
For how can i give the King
His place of worth above all else
When I spend my time striving
to place the crown upon myself?

Battle cry, to engage
for the war, set the stage
and armies march and kings arise
for the choice, the time has come
mine or thy will be done?
and the pain reflects in holy eyes
for the will to obey
for the night to the day
and the seasons change and rulers die
not of flesh, not of men
wage the war deep within
on and on it rages undenied

(Chorus)
I TAKE MY CROWN AND CAST IT DOWN
CASTLES BURNING
CASTLES BURNING
LEARN TO GROW, GROW TO BE
A FLESH AND BLOOD THEOCRACY
TO TAKE THE LOSS AND BEAR THE CROSS
RAISE THE KINGDOM
RAISE THE KINGDOM
BURN AWAY ALL IVE BEEN
TO RESURRECT THEOCRACY WITHIN

and the would-be rulers of my heart
that I place upon the throne
each lead the kingdom of my life to ruin
to bring every though into submission
to tear the idols down
is to break the chains, to rearrange,
to give the king his crown

(Repeat Chorus)

Rather, use me to be your hands down here
a mirror to reflect your glory into hurting eyes
and let me see the world with vision clear
and not through selfishness and lies
for if I am consumed with my own cares
what right have I to speak the words
Thy Kingdom Come?
And if I am consumed with my own will,
what right to pray Thy Will Be Done?

As all round me I see bleeding souls
please give me strength to never pass them idly by
and as the angry stormclouds start to roll
may they see comfort in my eyes
for just as you are full of love
the same to others you have called me to be
and by the covenant of grace above and below
within our souls: theocracy

(Repeat Chorus)

SINNER
Theocracy

Shame covers me
What was Light has turned To Dark
Pain torments me
Where there once was something holy
now beats my blackended heart

Sin has tangled me
My life is broken and I bleed eternally
Grief’s controlling me
So I cry out to the only one who can bring
the healing that I need

(Chorus)
Help me, save me
Take this guilt away from me
Hear me, take me
back to where I was before the fall
Wash me, cleanse me
See what has become of me
Trying on my own I failed
so I now come crawling back to you
I've fallen

I’m a sick man rotting slowly
Spiritual leprosy
I’m a captive crying out
Tear the chains and set me free

(Repeat Chorus) ]]> ~Substance20 http://Substance20.deviantart.com/journal/7216625/ http://Substance20.deviantart.com/journal/7216625/ Sat, 03 Dec 2005 23:56:32 PST
Over My Head (Cable Car)
The Fray

I never knew
I never knew that everything was falling through
That everyone I knew was waiting on a queue
To turn and run when all I needed was the truth
But that's how it's got to be
It's coming down to nothing more than apathy
I'd rather run the other way than stay and see
The smoke and who's still standing when it clears

(Chorus)
Everyone knows I'm in
Over my head
Over my head
With eight seconds left in overtime
She's on your mind
She's on your mind

Let's rearrange
I wish you were a stranger I could disengage
Say that we agree and then never change
Soften a bit until we all just get along
But that's disregard
Find another friend and you discard
As you lose the argument in a cable car
Hanging above as the canyon comes between

(Repeat Chorus 2x)

And suddenly I become a part of your past
I'm becoming the part that don't last
I'm losing you and its effortless
Without a sound we lose sight of the ground
In the throw around
Never thought that you wanted to bring it down
I won't let it go down till we torch it ourselves

(Repeat Chorus 2x)

Or this one?

Happy is a Yuppie Word
Switchfoot

Everyone dies
Everyone loves a fight
Nothing is sound
Nothing is right side right
Evening comes, when the sun goes down in red
Nothing is cool
When will all the fighting end?
When will all the fighting end?

Happy is a yuppie word
Nothing in the world could fail me now
It's empty as an argument
I'm running down a life that won't cash out (cash out)

Everything fails
Everything runs it's course
A time and a place, for all of this loving war
Everyone buys, everyone's gotta price, and nothing is new
When will all the failures rise?
When will all the failures rise, rise!

Happy is a yuppie word
Nothing in the world could fail me now
It's empty as an argument
I'm running down a life that won't cash out

Happy is a yuppie word
Blessed is the man who's lost it all
Happy is a yuppie word (word)

Looking for an orphanage
I'm looking for a bridge I can't burn down
I don't believe the emptiness
I'm looking for the Kingdom coming down
Everything is meaningless
I want more than simple cash can buy
Happy is a yuppie word
Happy is a yuppie word
Happy is a yuppie word
Happy is a yuppie,

Nothing is sound (8x)

Happy is a yuppie word
Nothing in the world could fail me now
Happy is a yuppie word (word)

So calm down, yeah!
So calm down, yeah!
So calm down, yeah!

Hmm.

"And if it seem evil unto you to serve the LORD, choose you this day whom ye will serve; whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the flood, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land ye dwell: but as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD." --Joshua 24:15 ]]> ~Substance20 http://Substance20.deviantart.com/journal/6657344/ http://Substance20.deviantart.com/journal/6657344/ Sun, 02 Oct 2005 09:15:23 PDT
I have long been a man torn apart between two extremes...self-pity and arrogance. Two opposite ends of the pride and self-absorption spectrum. Julie, a friend of mine, puts it rather bluntly: "I know how insecure artists are."

Let's get down to specifics. I'm a perfectionist at heart. If I can't do something right the first time, I'll sulk until I turn blue. It's not only because I couldn't get my envisioned concept to come out the way I wanted it to, but also because I'm not the type of guy to accept criticism of ANY kind. Oh, sure, I could launch into a defense of this attitude right now. Maybe it's because I occasionally get called "stupid" or something worse by my parents whenever I make an obvious mistake. But the fact that I'm too proud to admit I'm wrong remains.

I also don't like to admit that I'm incapable of doing a lot of things. For far too long I've been told that I'm a genius, a master, a prodigy or any other noun that ascribes to greatness. Imagine how I would feel if I find out that I can't do certain things, or that I can't be great at other tasks--no matter how serious or mundane they may be. I find it unacceptable because I'm supposed to be great! I'm the greatest! I'm supposed to have the ability and knowledge to be able to do ANYTHING! Or at least I think so. Self-delusion has never been so much fun.

It's even MORE fun when jealousy sets in. "Ohh look this person has this. Ohh look this person can do that! YOU'RE INFERIOR! DO something!!" Good grief. If I had a dime for every single moment I felt inferior to somebody, I would have...well...I would have...never mind, but it'd probably be enough money to keep me stocked for a month. All in all, it's like a gigantic vaccum, a big empty void which "is never satisfied" (Proverbs 27:30, 30:15-16). I just keep wanting to have more than enough, to be omipotent, omniscient or any other skill "omni" could be attached to. Even Omnislash, but Lionheart is a whole lot better, so I want that too.

And being a Christian, you can imagine all my guilt when I recognize the sin of covetousness in my life (Ephesians 5:3, Colossians 3:5). Am I not content with what God has given me, and must I also yearn for the things of others (Exodus 20:17)? I who had been commanded to love my neighbor as myself (Leviticus 19:18, Matthew 22:39, Romans 13:9), shall I then covet the gifts God gave to him, and so sin against God?

This lasted for quite a while, I must admit. Until one day, I talked to a few friends on the IRC chat channel #prosapologian. One of them was a guy whom I'll call Stephanos, a man with a crippling disability. He came to me asking if I can help redesign his website ([link]), since it didn't exude the image he wanted to project.

"Sure," I said. "What do you want me to do?"

He quickly replied, laying out his own ideas in front of me. "Well, I was thinking this..." and so proceeded to ask me about color schemes, alternating banner scripts and the like. We talked for quite a time, exchanging thoughts and devising new ones.

Then he told me something that would remain in my heart. "Thanks," he said, after I picked out a color scheme for his website. "I'm color blind, so I can't really distinguish between these things."

Color blindness.

A syndrome in which your eyes cannot perceive a certain set of colors in the visible spectrum.

As an artist who works with colors, such a thing would be unimaginably dreadful. It would all but completely cripple my coloring skills and severely limit my work.

And yet here was Stephanos, confined to a wheelchair and color blind to boot, yet he still keeps up his faithful duty as the webmaster of a site dedicated to preaching and defending the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

I should be ashamed of myself. Here I am, spiritually gifted with eternal life and forgiveness as well as physically gifted with a strong body and many skills, and all I do is complain about how I could neither drive a car properly, fight like an expert martial artist nor achieve a certain color pencil technique.

And what about my advancing age? I have myopia, or shortsightedness. Apart from potentially expensive surgery, sooner or later I wouldn't be able to use my eyes at all. What then will become of all those artistic talents? I don't think my heart will last much longer either. What I normally don't tell people is that I suffer from occasional chest pains. Let's not forget any providential "accidents" that might occur, which may end up taking away either my abilities or the opportunities to use them.

To my Christian friends and viewers, I would like to challenge you now: Is there any... ]]> ~Substance20 http://Substance20.deviantart.com/journal/6055136/ http://Substance20.deviantart.com/journal/6055136/ Thu, 28 Jul 2005 06:17:59 PDT suggested I should upload pieces of [considerable] sentimental value instead.

Well, there's a new one, over there. It's one of two pieces dedicated to her. She's been a good friend in a short time, really. I just hope I don't get addicted to her or I might forget that I'm living for an audience of One.

In other news, I'm thinking of toying around with my camera and one of my old, unused shirts, as well as getting back into the arena of Bible study and theology. School may be hectic, but I still find myself bored. I have a tendency to become reckless whenever I feel restless (wow, that rhymes...) and I need some self-control. ]]> ~Substance20