http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:TCStarwarp&section=today deviantART RSS for by:TCStarwarp en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Tue, 22 Dec 2009 04:59:42 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://TCStarwarp.deviantart.com/journal/25892937/ http://TCStarwarp.deviantart.com/journal/25892937/ Sun, 12 Jul 2009 05:08:58 PDT
I've always been able to draw cartoons fairly well. It's easy to draw something that's already drawn. All you have to do it copy each line or shape. In school, I was taught the grid technique so I often visualize a grid over the image I'm copying and draw it "one square at a time" if that makes sense. But who wants to go around re-drawing things that someone else has already drawn?

Often times my ambition or vision outweighs my skill level and I end up being horribly frustrated with the work I've produced. I have a picture that for my skill level really isn't that bad; but, when I look at it, I see complete crap. I shouldn't be so hard on myself and that's probably why I go through periods of not drawing.

I decided to go back to the basics and walk before I run. I do faces well and I think thought I was ready to move forward from "portraits" but bit off more than I could chew. Oh well. If you don't like Seeker faces, avoid my work for a while because that's what I'll be focusing on. I'll perfect my portraits before I attempt to move on to body or action shots.

One thing I have found that works (which I didn't use on the last Phoenix face and likely why she turned out so horrible) is drawing the oval with the cross in the center so the face is symmetrical. In the past I've tried drawing the human figure and then drawing a Seeker over it. Seems easy enough, right? The only problem is I'm not that great of an artist and some things get lost in translation. When I used to draw people I never put helmets on them. The same thing goes for their bodies. They have parts we don't and it's hard for me to get the canopy, chest area and wings proportionate. Meh, it's a process and I haven't committed myself to it like I should have. I think I've short changed myself. I used to draw constantly and now I rarely do. Hopefully, that will change.

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http://TCStarwarp.deviantart.com/journal/24213969/ Mon, 13 Apr 2009 04:50:41 PDT
[link]

A bunch of my coworkers are into Mafia Wars and Vampire Wars and insisted I play as well. It sounded fun so I decided to give it a shot. The only problem is you have to be on Facebook or Myspace. I choose Facebook and oddly, I love it. I've talked to other people who have both and most agree that Facebook is a lot better and more fun. I choose to use the name Pulsar Cybertron because I only joined to chat with coworkers and play the two games. I don't want to be contacted by old school mates or family memebers. But if anyone here has Facebook and wishes to add me, feel free. Just expect to be bombarded with game invitations, quizzes and other goofy "gifts".

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http://TCStarwarp.deviantart.com/journal/23482635/ Mon, 02 Mar 2009 04:28:30 PST
[link]

I was tagged by I'm not going to tag anyone else. If you want to do this you can. I think it's one of those things where you list 8 facts about yourself.

1. I'm passive aggressive and darn proud of it

2. I'm surprised this thing is still floating around

3. I love horror films and go in spurts of watching a bunch of them until I get creeped out and can't watch any more for a few months.

4. Over the past two years I've slowly become obsessed with Fall Out Boy and think Patrick Stump is one of the best singers and cutest leprechauns ever!

5. I used to play piano but I've actually forgotten everything including the basics. Sorry for wasting your money on lessons, Mom

6. I used to want to be a psychologist but now if I could do any job I wanted I think it would be ghost hunter/parapsychologist. Whether it be gathering evidence or debunking I find it a fascinating study.

7. Am I done yet?

8. I'm on the internet constantly but only visit a handful of websites: DA, The Seeker Sanctuary, ICHC, Friends or Enemies and now the Dragon Cave

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http://TCStarwarp.deviantart.com/journal/23393917/ Wed, 25 Feb 2009 06:15:20 PST
[link]

I've found it increasingly difficult to get motivated to do anything art related. I haven't drawn or colored anything in ages and I have a story that I'm just not into finishing at the moment. I've found a few addictions to pass my time. One probably hinders my ability to do anything. I've been playing a lot of hidden object games lately. I have no idea why they're so addictive. Perhaps because it's challenging yet still relaxing.

My other new addiction is dragons. I know a few of you have them and is the one who turned me onto them. I had seen them floating around here. I know has them too. Who ever came up with the idea is a genius. Not only do I find the artwork amazing but the coding is brilliant too. I'm slowly trying to recruit my co-workers to the site. So, anyway. That's that.

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http://TCStarwarp.deviantart.com/journal/23200230/ Sat, 14 Feb 2009 16:33:01 PST
[link]

My head's in heaven my soles are in hell
Let's meet in the purgatory of my hips and get well

Nothing new to report. I'm mostly just messing around and trying to keep Sunstar from freaking out over my dragons possibly dying It's amazing I figured out how to post them here. Thank primus for idiot proof codes that are already written for you.

There isn't anything exciting going on with me but there seems to be a lot going on in the world. Rampant fires in Australia, crazy woman having 8 kids bringing her grand total to what? 13 or 14? and Chris Brown beating up Rhianna. What's the world coming to?

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http://TCStarwarp.deviantart.com/journal/21716039/ Fri, 28 Nov 2008 14:36:49 PST Build my dreams,
Trees grow all over the streets.

But I don't know much about classic cars,
But I got a lot of friends stuck on Classic Coke.
Down set one, hut-hut, hike,
Media Blitz,

Lets hear it for Americas suitehearts!
I must confess,
I'm in love with my own sins...
****************************

I stole this meme from I love these things because it reminds me of madlibs. My best friend from school and I used to play madlibs for hours on end. I'm not going to tag anyone. If you want to fill this out then go right ahead and so on and so forth and yada yada

Dear Sunstar:

I don't really know how to tell you this, but you're a pervert. I think I realized it when your dog ran amok in your camping car and I saw you carve your initials into the crazy monk. I'm sure you're senile enough to understand that Extreme Home Makeover sucks. I'm returning the pictures from LA to you, but I'll keep your photo as a memory. You should also know that I never will forget to hate the Boston Celtics.

Good luck on your short-term leave from jail,

Pulsar



RULES:
Do the "Letter MEME". Tag no less than 5 other people, and leave them a comment, informing them that they have been tagged. Then copy the "How-to" Letter Meme, and finish your Journal entry.

-> How you do the Letter Meme:

Dear (the last person who left a comment on your journal):

I don't really know how to tell you this, but ___1___. I think I realized it ___2___ ___3___ and I saw you ___4___ ___5___. I'm sure you're ___6___ enough to understand ___7___. I'm returning ___8___ to you, but I'll keep ___9___ as a memory. You should also know that I ___10___ ___11___ .

___12___,
-Your name-

1. What's the color of your shirt?
Blue - Our romance is over
Red - Our affair is over
White - I'll join the monastery
Black - I dislike you
Green - Our horoscope doesn't match
Grey - You're a pervert
Yellow - I'm selling myself
Pink - Your nostrils are insulting
Brown - The mafia wants you
No shirt - You're a loser
Other - I'm in love with your sister


2. Which is your birth month?
January - That night
February - Last year
March - When your dwarf bit me
April - When I tripped on sesame seeds
May - First of May
June - When you put cuffs on me
July - When I threw up
August - When I saw the shrunken head
September - When we skinny dipped
October - When I quoted Santa
November - When your dog ran amok
December - When I changed tennis shoes


3. Which food do you prefer?
Tacos - In your apartment
Pizza - In your camping car
Pasta - Outside of Chicago
Hamburgers - Under the bus
Salad - As you ate enchilada
Chicken - In your closet
Kabob - With Paris Hilton
Fish - In women's clothing
Sandwiches - At the Hare Krishna graduation
Lasagna - At the mental hospital
Hot dog - Under a state of trance
None of the above - With George Bush and his wife


4. What's the color of your socks?
Yellow - Hit on
Red - Insult
Black - Ignore
Blue - Knock out
Purple - Pour syrup on
White - Carve your initials into
Grey - Pull the clothes off
Brown - Put leeches on
Orange - Castrate
Pink - Pull the toupee off
Barefoot - Sit on
Other - Drive out


5. What's the color of your underwear?
Black - My best friend
White - My father
Grey - Bill Clinton
Brown - My fart balloon
Purple - My mustard soufflé
Red - Donald Duck
Blue - My avocado plant
Yellow - My penpal in Ghana
Orange - My Kid Rock-collection
Pink - Manchester United's goalkeeper
None - My John F. Kennedy-statue
Other - The crazy monk


6. What do you prefer to watch on TV?
Scrubs - Man
O.C. - Emotional
One Tree Hill - Open
Heroes - Frostbitten
Lost - High
House - Scarred
Simpsons - Cowardly
The news - Mongolic
Idol - Masochistic
Family Guy - Senile
Top Model - Middle-class
None of the above - Ashamed


7. Your mood right now?
Happy - How awful I've felt
Sad - How boring you are
Bored - That Santa doesn't exist
Angry - That your pimples are at the last stage
Depressed - That we're cousins
Excited - That there is no solution to this.
Nervous - The middle-east
Worried - That your Honda sucks
Apathetic - That I did a sex-change
A... ]]> *TCStarwarp http://TCStarwarp.deviantart.com/journal/21335278/ http://TCStarwarp.deviantart.com/journal/21335278/ Wed, 05 Nov 2008 07:29:12 PST What a catch
And all I can think of is the way I'm the one who charmed the one who gave up on you
****************************

I am actually working on something at the moment and regretting the fact I agreed to do it. "Oh, sure, I can do that. Oh yeah, that'll be really really easy. I'll have it done in no time." Famous last words. It's a color project that will eventually be turned into a cake decoration for a coworker's granddaughter. It was a picture she brought home from school the kids were all given to color as they please. It looked really simple so I scanned the black and white outline into my pc and started coloring it in gimp. Turns out it's actually really intricate. I have until Thanksgiving to finish it...well, before then because she wants the cake on Thanksgiving day.

Before you get all excited about me being a cake decorator let me say one thing. If you're thinking of Duff from Ace of Cakes, stop. I'm in no way shape or form anywhere near that talented. I do airbrushing and make designs and flowers out of rose icing but I don't work with shaped cakes or fondant. I'm happy for that since fondant seems to be a demented and aggravating edible version of playdough...well, playdough is sort of edible too but I digress. I do easy stuff like this [link] and this is my current favorite cake to make. My least favorite is the Disney princesses...ugh, so repulsive.

So, Obama won This is my first election and yes, I voted for him. I'm not sure if it's a good thing or bad thing but only time will tell. All I know is it really sucks not being able to pull yourself out of a financial hole. Fortunately my debt is only in the four digit range but I had no debt a few years ago. I don't like owing anyone anything and I like knowing what's mine is actually mine. I am also in need of a new car that I really can't afford at the moment.

Tomorrow is an important day as well. You really need to head over to page and wish her a happy birthday. Sorry I don't have anything for you, my dear I've been racking my brain trying to come up with something. The pic I'm working on for Jeanie's granddaughter is getting me more interested in doing art again so I'm hoping to either draw/color something or even just find a nice something or other to color for you. Happy birthday, Sunstar!

Evil Co-hort and color expert:


Transformer nutjobs:

*TCStarwarp http://TCStarwarp.deviantart.com/journal/20777016/ http://TCStarwarp.deviantart.com/journal/20777016/ Wed, 01 Oct 2008 13:19:55 PDT I can't keep my cool, so I keep it true
I got somethin to lose, so I gotta move
I can't keep myself, and still keep you too
So I keep in mind, when I'm on my own
Somewhere far from home, in the danger zone
How many times did I take 'til I finally got through
you lose, you lose
****************************

Patrick Stump's better. And no, I don't expect anyone to know what that means.

I don't really have anything relevant to say but hey, it's my journal and I can do what I want with it Mostly just here to rearrange some things.

I'm disappointed for several reasons. The only one that matters in this community would be regarding the fic I'm working on...or not working on to be more accurate. I'm sort of stuck. I know how the whole thing will play out but it's bridging the story together that's got me hung up. I could write out the specific scenes and bridge them later but for some reason I can't work that way. It seems unnatural and I really don't want to force this one.

I swear Patrick's voice is golden. *Wipes drool from keyboard and scurries off*

Evil Co-hort and color expert:


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http://TCStarwarp.deviantart.com/journal/20654718/ Wed, 24 Sep 2008 16:01:00 PDT I was brain-dead, locked out, numb, not up to speed
I thought I'd pegged you an idiot's dream
Tunnel vision from the outsider's screen
I never understood the frequency, uh-huh
You wore our expectations like an armored suit, uh-huh
***************************

I hate politics. I always have and always will. To me a lot of it is people making promises they can't or don't intend to keep. I hate the mudslinging during campaigns as well. You want me to vote for you? Tell me what your view is rather than dog your competitors.

I'm part of the "slacker" generation and I've come to realize we've been misunderstood. Well, maybe just me. I think most of the world thought we just didn't care and to an extent, we don't. One of my all time favorite songs is REM's What's the Frequency, Kenneth? and a line from that song that's always caught my attention is, "Richard said, 'Withdrawal in disgust is not the same as apathy.'" I think that's pretty much what my generation has done. This world sucks and is broken but it's not my fault so I won't fix it. We're quick to point the finger at previous generations yet unwilling to do much about anything.

I finally registered to vote today. It's very possible my one vote won't make a difference and I don't really want to go on some revolution to change the world. I just agree with a lot of other people who say you don't have the right to bitch about anything if you don't vote. Woman have had the right to vote in this country for just under 100 years. Our ancestors fought for that right and I think it's a slap in their faces not to do so.

This won't change me or who I am. I still hate politics. I still think the media over sensationalizes everything for the sake of ratings. I still think Seekers are sexy in a giant evil transforming robot sort of way. I won't be jumping on any bandwagons or going on crusades. I'm just going to vote. So, my fellow Americans, I urge you to do the same. Vote or stop bitching.

Evil Co-hort and color expert:


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http://TCStarwarp.deviantart.com/journal/20310400/ Wed, 03 Sep 2008 15:46:09 PDT Oh dear lord, please let me into heaven for just an afternoon...

My name is Pulsar and I fully endorse this message.
***********

I know what I'm getting myself for my birthday. Fall Out Boy's new album Folie à deux hits stores November 4 and I can't wait. I think their marketing campaign of campy political candidates is hilarious. I really should register to vote

I've started writing a fic and I think I'm going to nudge myself into working on it a bit more tonight. I've been going over it in my mind but haven't committed anything to "paper" the past week but I really need to get the ball rolling on it before I lose my momentum. And, don't freak out but...it's NOT TRANSFORMERS!!! I know, scary isn't it? It's going to be my longest fic yet which probably isn't saying much. I'm also putting a lot more thought and work into this one than I have my previous "works" which were mostly comedic Transformer shorts. This one, oddly enough, goes along with the title of the new Fall Out Boy album. I guess I'll call it a "ghost story" but I know what direction I want it to go in. I don't want to give away too much but let's just say I really love the questions that movies like The Omen make you ask.

Evil Co-hort and color expert:


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http://TCStarwarp.deviantart.com/journal/19502545/ Sun, 20 Jul 2008 15:32:29 PDT I wouldn't piss to put you out
Stop burning bridges and drive off of them
So I can forget about you

I'm in a bit of an ornery mood lately and I think it's partly because I just don't care anymore. It really doesn't pay to give a shit sometimes and primus knows my soap box is starting to crack from me jumping on it so many times. Sooooo, I'm letting it all go. I'm gonna center myself and find peace...or I'll just revert to my former wicked self. Meh, sometimes it's easier to be evil and a hell of a lot more fun. Frag, I'm insane

Update on the computer: I got it back from HP a while ago and it still doesn't work. I now have sound and internet access but my disc drive doesn't work. Go figure. I'm seriously thinking of saying frag it and just buying a new one yet again. I might take this one to a repair shop first. I don't care if I have to pay to get it fixed. I've sent it to HP twice and it still doesn't work. That's part of the reason I haven't really done anything lately. I have everything I need for my art and writing ventures but I haven't even bothered hooking up my scanner and such because I'm just kind of fed up with this crappy little black box that calls itself a personal computer. More like personal antagonist if you ask me.

I'm thinking how ironic is it that I'm about to say what I'm about to say because of what I'm listening to. I hate bandwagons. I don't like jumping onto them. When everyone else does something it makes me NOT want to do it. Why is that funny? Well, I love Fall Out Boy and that's what I'm listening to right now. Sure they're not the most popular band at the moment but you've got to admit it's a funny choice for someone who hates what everyone else loves.

There's a point to this story and here it is. That myspace thing...I hate it. Everyone has one. Everyone has a fraggin myspace page. I hate that so much. I don't want something that everyone else has and I don't want to do what everyone else is doing. However, a coworker died and in searching for information on her I stumbled upon my other coworkers' myspace pages. I've trolled around and checked out other people's pages and dammit if I'm not thinking about doing it myself. So, my question is: is it really worth it? Is myspace the complete and total waste of time and energy I think it is or should I sell my soul to the devil and give into this temptation? So what do you guys think? I know you all have myspace pages because everyone else in the fraggin universe does

Evil Co-hort and color expert:


HMW nuts:

*TCStarwarp http://TCStarwarp.deviantart.com/journal/18760522/ http://TCStarwarp.deviantart.com/journal/18760522/ Tue, 10 Jun 2008 05:06:26 PDT The mood is turning
The streets are burning
And all roads lead to nowhere
Hear talk in the back room getting louder
I'll know when I've found her
You'll know it when I get there
Don't fall through the cracks
There's no turning back
Once you've fallen in
It begins

I got my new computer back from repair....again. It had a bad motherboard when I got it. I had that replaced and a couple months later it went out again. This time they replaced the motherboard and the hard drive so I've lost some data that for some reason couldn't be transfered from the old computer despite the fact it worked last time. Let's see how long this one lasts.

Speaking of not lasting: I stepped down from my management position for my own sanity. I got tired of being micromanaged and expected to do the same to my team. I also got tired of the head games the upper management team likes to play. They don't communicate, cut each other's throats at every turn and point the finger constantly. They also lie to their employees and use each other as threats. The only problem is I'm just as if not more stressed out now. I admit I do tend to be paranoid at times but I'm pretty positive they're fucking with me in hopes I'll quit. Well, mission accomplished. I just can't quit until I find another job. I put in an application at the company I turned down to work at the one I'm at now. We'll see how that goes.

Hopefully I'll get the job thing situated and get this computer straightened out. If I can get my scanner set up again...oh yeah and download gimp again then I might actually start doing that art thing again. Wish me luck.

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http://TCStarwarp.deviantart.com/journal/17767848/ Wed, 09 Apr 2008 17:11:51 PDT How your dogma has abandoned you
Pray to your Christ, to your god
Never taste of the fruit
Never stray, never break
Never---choke on a lie
Even though he's the one who did this to you
You never thought to question why

The rules are:
1. Post these rules.
2. Each person tagged must post 8 random facts about themselves.
3. Tags should write a journal/ blog of these facts.
4. At the end of the post 8 more persons are tagged and named.
5. Go to their page and leave a comment telling them they're tagged.

I thought I'd list some of my beliefs. Anyone who knows me in person or knows me well on the net knows all this slag. These aren't things I keep from anyone. I just don't usually see any reason to post it here and they're the only facts about me I can think of at the moment.

1. I believe in a higher power but I strongly oppose organized religion.

2. I believe in ghosts and I've encountered quite a few in my lifetime including some that have scared me slagless.

3. I don't doubt the existence of other lifeforms in the universe but I don't think they visit Earth on a regular basis.

4. I believe in ESP and think if someone really works on it they can achieve amazing things. I myself am too lazy though.

5. Though religion was never pushed on me I cringe at anything relating to Christianity.

6. I studied Druidism but as they say, "Many are called and few are chosen." Again, I'm too lazy and I have a hard time talking to trees.

7. I toss salt over my shoulder any time I spill it to "keep demons away".

8. I believe it is possible yet difficult to become possessed yet that's one of my greatest fears.

Now I tag anyone who cares to do this.

Evil Co-hort and color expert:


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http://TCStarwarp.deviantart.com/journal/17576555/ Sat, 29 Mar 2008 16:21:39 PDT
I didn't realize my DA subscription was about to expire. In fact I didn't realize it until it DID expire. Every time I subscribe I swear it'll be the last. This time I managed to go a day without it and couldn't stand it. Things around here aren't nearly as bad as they used to be though. This time last year DA was eating journal entries and posts and was just generally fragged up.

Anyway, I've had a massive burst of creativity lately but there's a catch. I don't know where to begin! I want to draw but I don't know what, I'm in the mood to write but have no idea what the subject should be... I think it's just about as frustrating as going through a lull but I welcome this feeling. It means there's hope for me.

I'm fairly frustrated with other aspects of my life though. The biggest issue right now is my job. It, like most jobs, really really sucks. I have a lot of turnover in my department lately and it seems like I'm training someone new every time I turn around. I also keep getting stuck decorating cakes which is sort of bittersweet. That might be part of my recent increase in creativity as well. I miss being a peon cake decorator but unfortunately I'm the boss and I have to run two departments as well as do cakes, each of which is supposed to be a 40 hour a week job. So basically I'm expected to do 80 hours worth of work in 40 hours. If it weren't for the fact my boyfriend and I bought this house I'd probably just say screw it and quit. I'd love to go back to being a nobody without worries or the stress of being a manager. Meh, wish in one hand and shit in the other, right?

Evil Co-hort and color expert:


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http://TCStarwarp.deviantart.com/journal/17256721/ Sun, 09 Mar 2008 13:39:22 PDT
I actually got a new computer about a month ago but it never had sound. I had to send it back and get it fixed. So now I have sound and this Windows Vista thing which I am having a massive love/hate relationship with. I'm really not liking the new WMP. It's far too complicated for my tastes.

I had a couple of projects I was working on but the computer thing and the whole going insane thing sort of put a hold on them. I had actually finished one project on the old pc but I wasn't really happy with how it turned out. Toward the end I just started phoning it in. Since I have a new and improved version of gimp on this pc I may give it another go.

I'm still not entirely happy. The universe seems hell bent on me not catching a break but hey, I'm not dead either. I think part of it is the weather too. I look forward to the upcoming heatwave. Whoo hoo 40F! Maybe this migraine will finally go away then.

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http://TCStarwarp.deviantart.com/journal/17008948/ Fri, 22 Feb 2008 12:49:37 PST
I’ve been debating on the title of this piece. I thought about calling it “Mid-life Crisis” because that’s what it feels like but to be honest that seems rather silly. Not because I’m not in crisis but because I don’t know that this is truly the middle of my life. I also thought about calling it “Memoirs of a Madman” but that’s a little extreme, don’t you think?

So, why did I decide to call it “My Greatest Work Yet”? This is hardly a literary masterpiece. I’m sure the grammar is incorrect and I’m hardly a competent author but the fact of the matter is everyone loves a good train wreck. Humans are so fascinated with disaster be it floods, tornadoes, fires or even Britney Spears having a complete nervous breakdown and being committed to several mental institutions.

I’m not sure what you’re witnessing here. I’m not going to make any promises because I’m not sure what I’m in the middle of right now. Crisis: yes but is it waxing or waning? I cannot answer that at the moment. All I know is this is the first time I’ve ever written something truly and honestly from the depths of my soul.

Let’s start there, shall we? I’ve had journals and diaries and I’ve never been completely honest in them. I’ve even destroyed things in the past to avoid them gaining permanence. I’ve since realized something. Nothing is permanent. Nothing is forever. Paper fades and disintegrates over time, computers can be erased and even CDs and DVDs can’t live on forever. Ashes to ashes and dust to dust. The truth is what you’re reading now will likely be forgotten in a matter of days or weeks. If it does manage to become infamous it will surly die soon after I do.

With that said it’s time to be honest. What the hell is wrong with me? I don’t know. I have serious abandonment issues which I resolve by not making connections to anyone. If I do manage to reach out to someone I hold back. If I do reach out to someone and not hold anything back I punish them by pushing them away and attacking them. Why do I do this? I could blame it on a lot of things. I could say it’s because I was molested as a kid. I could say it’s because my mother went psycho from menopause and beat me nearly every day for about a year. I could say it’s because my lazy father never paid any attention to me. But those are all just excuses. Events don’t make a person who he or she is. What makes you you is your likes, desires, thoughts, emotions and so on. I fear commitment. That sounds so cliché but I believe it’s true. That’s why I’ve put off writing this for so many years.

I’ve recently professed my desire to die. Why? Because I don’t want to commit to life. I don’t want to commit to death either which is why I haven’t actually taken my own life. Death is far more permanent than life and what if I haven’t actually fucked up yet? What if this is just leading up to my big moment? After all, that is what I’m waiting for, right? Isn’t that what we’re all waiting for? Fame and fortune? My mother was a hick from a small backwoods town in the south but there were over 300 people at her funeral. How many would attend mine? I bet I could count them all on one hand. That’s hardly famous. I don’t expect to achieve the status of Elvis or Madonna but 300 people is pretty good. Fortune doesn’t have to be monetary. Some people find fortune in work they do or having children. I have neither. I don’t know that I really want children. I fear I’d be an immense burden on them and that I’d screw them up worse than I myself am. As far as work goes…well, we’ll get to that next.

I have an enormous desire to be artistic and creative but I lack commitment. Ah yes, there’s that word again. I need direction since I lack discipline. I also fail before I even try. Before pencil touches paper or before I sit down at the computer I’ve already told myself what I’m about to do is going to suck. I figure no one will enjoy it, anyone who says they like it will just be humoring me and no one will get any sort of pleasure or satisfaction from it. Art is an expression of yourself but its purpose is to convey your emotions to others. Perhaps that’s why I lack the talent and ability. I keep myself so guarded and hidden because I don’t want anyone to know what I’m thinking or feeling. That commitment thing keeps me from writing too. I get half way through the story and just give up. So what is it about this art thing that draws me? I honestly don’t know. The only way I can describe it is through a character. I often feel like Salieri from the movie Amadeus. I should be a great artist. I’m full of intense passion and self torture. I live to hurt. I thrive off of pain and anguish. Isn’t that what makes a great artist? Yet, some little Mozart comes along and steals my thunder. And to anyone reading this, no, I’m not referring to you or anyone... ]]> *TCStarwarp http://TCStarwarp.deviantart.com/journal/16591612/ http://TCStarwarp.deviantart.com/journal/16591612/ Sun, 27 Jan 2008 05:18:43 PST
Have you ever:
(x) Smoked a cigarette
(x) Drank so much you threw up
( ) Crashed in a friend's car
(x) Stolen a car (my dad's and my sister's)
(x) Been in love
(x) Been dumped
(x) Been Laid off/fired
(x) Quit your job
(x) Been in a fist fight
(x) Sneaked out of your parent's house
(x) Had feelings for someone who didn't have them
back
( ) Gone on a blind date
(x) Lied to a friend
(x) Skipped school
( ) Seen someone die
(x) Been to Canada
( ) Been to Mexico
( ) Been on a plane
(x) Been lost
( ) Been on the opposite side of the world
( ) Gone to Washington , DC
( ) Swam in the ocean
(x) Felt like dying
(x) Cried yourself to sleep
(x) Played cops and robbers
(x) Recently colored with crayons
( ) Sang karaoke
(x) Paid for a meal with only coins
(x) Done something you told yourself you wouldn't
(x) Made prank phone calls
(x) Laughed until some kind of beverage came out of
your nose
(x) Caught a snowflake on your tongue
(x) Made a snow angel
(x) Danced in the rain
(x) Written a letter to Santa Claus
(x) Barfed in the middle of the night
(x) Watched the sunrise with someone you care about
(x) Blown Bubbles
( ) Made a bonfire on the beach
(x) Crashed a party
(x) Gone roller skating
( ) Gone ice skating
(x) Made someone cry

OK, here are more questions:

What time is it now? 8:16 AM
Recent movie you have seen the Theater? Transformers
Do you plan on having children? still unsure
Favorite restaurant? Olive Garden
Favorite sport? none
Favorite Ice Cream? mint chocolate chip
Coffee? Folgers
Shake flavor at a fast food restaurant? chocolate
What color is your bedroom? green
Favorite nonalcoholic drink? Dr. Pepper
Body piercing? Ears and nose
What is your favorite vacation spot? Haven't been there
yet
Ever steal any traffic signs/billboards? no, but I was with someone else
Favorite Salad Dressing? Italian
Favorite number? 3
Favorite Holiday? My birthday
Favorite food? Italian
Favorite sound? Music I enjoy
How do you see yourself in 10 years? not sure
How many times did you fail your driver's test? 0
What do you do when you are bored? Watch TV or play on internet
Who is the person that you are most curious to see
their answers? All of them
Ford or Chevy? Chevy all the way
What are you listening to right now? My hard drive grinding >.< (doesn't sound so bad now)
How many pets do you have? none
What would you like to accomplish before you die?
find sanity

Evil Co-hort and color expert:


HMW nuts:

*TCStarwarp http://TCStarwarp.deviantart.com/journal/14911014/ http://TCStarwarp.deviantart.com/journal/14911014/ Thu, 04 Oct 2007 10:34:32 PDT

Thanks for the laugh. It was much needed.

[] Gum has fallen out of your mouth when you were talking.

[X] Gum has fallen out of your mouth when you were NOT talking.

[X] You have run into a glass/screen door.

[] You have jumped out/off of a moving vehicle.

[X] You have thought of something funny and laughed out loud, then people gave you weird looks.

[X] You have run into a tree.

[] It is possible to lick your elbow

[] You just tried to lick your elbow.

[X] You never knew that the Alphabet and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star have the same rhythm.

[X] You just tried to sing them.

[] You have tripped on your shoelace and fallen.

[X] You have choked on your own spit.

[] You have seen the the Matrix and still don't get it.

[X] You didn't notice that in the last question "the" was spelled twice.

[X] You just looked at it.

[X] Your hair is blonde/dirty blonde.

[] People have called you slow.

[X] You have accidentally caught something on fire.

[] You tried to drink out of a straw, but it went into your nose/eyes.

[X] You have caught yourself drooling.

[] You've fallen asleep in class.

[X] If someone says "fart" you laugh.

[X] Sometimes you just stop thinking.

[X] You are telling a story and forget what you were talking about.

[X] People shake their heads and walk away from you.

[] You are often told to use your "inside voice."

[X] You use your fingers to do simple math.

[] You have eaten a bug.

[X] You are taking this test when you should be doing something important.

[X] You have put your clothes on backwards or inside out, and didn't realize it.

[X] You've looked all over for something and realized it was in your hand, hair or pocket.

[] You sometimes post bulletins because you are scared that what they say will happen to you if you don't even when you know it won't happen to you.

[X] You break a lot of things.

[] Your friends know not to use big words around you

[X] You sometimes tilt your head when you're confused.

[X] You have fallen out of your chair before.

[] When you're laying in bed, you try to find pictures in the texture of the ceiling

[] The word "umm" is used many times a day.

Evil Co-hort and color expert:


HMW nuts:

*TCStarwarp http://TCStarwarp.deviantart.com/journal/14497811/ http://TCStarwarp.deviantart.com/journal/14497811/ Wed, 05 Sep 2007 05:35:08 PDT

1. Post these rules.
2. Each person tagged must post eight random facts about themselves.
3. Must make a blog/journal about this.
4. Tag eight or more peoples.
5. Go to their page and leave a comment notifying them of their tagging.

8 things about me:

1. I hate my job but make too much money there to leave.

2. I'd rather watch the same episode of CSI five times in a row than watch 15 minutes of Big Brother or Survivor or any other crap piece of reality tv.

3. They say you can tell your favorite color by looking in your closet. I did that last night and it seems brown is a close second to green.

4. I only own 15 Transformer toys and only 9 of them were bought by me. (but two came together in one pack)

5. When I find a car I like I tend to stick with it. I owned two Sunfires before I got my Impala. I'd like my next car to be a newer Impala.

6. I have an office supply fetish. I have hundreds of pens, pencils and notebooks and probably won't be able to use them all in my lifetime.

7. I'm anal about symmetry. Everything has to be at right angles and clutter drives me insane. (which also explains my lack of Transformers)

8. I found it difficult to think of things to put on this list and have run out of ideas.

I tag anyone who cares to do this as most of my watch list has done this one anyway

Evil Co-hort and color expert:


HMW nuts:



Other interesting Artists:
*TCStarwarp http://TCStarwarp.deviantart.com/journal/14100467/ http://TCStarwarp.deviantart.com/journal/14100467/ Fri, 10 Aug 2007 04:58:55 PDT
Right after the move I also had to go to Chicago for a business trip. It was actually a lot of fun. After our meetings we went to see The Color Purple at the Cadillac Palace. It's always been one of my favorite movies and I was definitely impressed by the performance. Michelle Williams from Destiny's Child played Shug Avery and I seriously had my doubts about her but she did the role justice much to my surprise.

After the show we walked the streets of Chicago and got to see them shoot a scene from the upcoming Batman. They had the street blocked off and we couldn't see a whole lot but it was still pretty cool. At the end of the street was the City Trades Building which we learned will be used as the exterior shots for Wayne Tower. They had a semi trailer turned over and smashed in the middle of the street. The assistants wouldn't tell us anything about the scene they were shooting but they did tell us they were working on close up shots at the time we were there. Like I said, we didn't see much but it was still pretty cool to watch.

So, now I'm slowly getting settled into my new place which is a hell of a lot closer to work. It's also closer to a major shopping district which could be bad for me. But it is nice to know I have options other than Meijer and Target now. Hopefully I'll get my new cabinet, get my Transformers unpacked and get back to messing around with gimp and whatnot.

Evil Co-hort and color expert:


HMW nuts:



Other interesting Artists:
*TCStarwarp http://TCStarwarp.deviantart.com/journal/13311933/ http://TCStarwarp.deviantart.com/journal/13311933/ Tue, 12 Jun 2007 04:25:34 PDT


RULES:
1. Put your music player on shuffle.
2. Press forward for each question.
3. Use the song title as the answer to the question even if it doesn’t make sense. NO CHEATING!
4. Bold the questions and with the answers, give your own comments on how it relates to the questions.


Q: How are you feeling today?
A: Smooth

Q: Will you get far in life?
A: I Constantly Thank God For Esteban
And I don't even play guitar

Q: How do your friends see you?
A: Over My Head

Q: Will you get married?
A: Smooth Operator

Q: What is your best friend's theme song?
A: Soul
And I doubt Sunstar's even heard that song

Q: What is the story of your life?
A: The Background
Ain't it the truth

Q: What was high school like?
A: Love Will Keep Us Together
That's a crock of bull

Q: How can you get ahead in life?
A: Believe It or Not

Q: What is the best thing about your friends?
A: Hold My Hand
Um...

Q: What is in store for this weekend?
A: Enigma

Q: To describe your grandparents?
A: Fly
Oooook...Well, they are all dead

Q: How is your life going?
A: 3 Libras

Q: What song will they play at your funeral?
A: Nothing Else Matters
That's right, The World does revolve around me you know

Q: How does the world see you?
A: I Write Sins Not Tragedies


Q: Will you have a happy life?
A: Get Busy Living or Get Busy Dying
Amen!

Q: What do your friends really think of you?
A: Don't Stand So Close to Me
Why? Do I stink?

Q: Do people secretly lust after you?
A: Weathered
Hey, I'm not that old!

Q: How can I make myself happy?
A: Don't Dream It's Over
Good advice

Q: What should you do with your life?
A: Stay
Yep, don't plan on going any time soon.

Q: Will you ever have children?
A: Song For You
Hmmmmm

Evil Co-hort and color expert:


HMW nuts:

*TCStarwarp http://TCStarwarp.deviantart.com/journal/13172501/ http://TCStarwarp.deviantart.com/journal/13172501/ Fri, 01 Jun 2007 05:04:00 PDT

I hope it doesn't show how little I know about my watchers


If you comment...

1- I'll answer with something random about you.
2- I'll dare you to try something.
3- I'll say a color I associate with you.
4- I'll tell you something I like about you.
5- I'll tell you something I always remember about you / a first memory about you.
6- I'll tell you what animal you remind me of.
7- I'll ask you something I always wanted to ask you.
8- If I do this for you, you must put this in your journal.

Evil Co-hort and color expert:


HMW nuts:



Other interesting Artists:
http://TCStarwarp.deviantart.com/journal/12641536/ Wed, 18 Apr 2007 09:38:32 PDT
Why the hell is DA so fraggin slow lately?

Evil Co-hort and color expert:


HMW nuts:



Other interesting Artists:
http://TCStarwarp.deviantart.com/journal/12620560/ Mon, 16 Apr 2007 15:07:41 PDT

Choose ten of your original characters in any particular order (NO PEEKING AT THE QUESTIONS AT THIS STAGE!). Then, answer the questions that follow.



1. Phoenix
2. Pulsar
3. Polaris
4. Darkstar
5. Sunchoker
6. Torrent
7. Phobos
8. Zephyr
9. Northstar
10. Halo

WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF...

1.Number 1 woke you up in the middle of the night?

Seeing as how she disrupts my baths I wouldn't be the least bit surprised. It seems like when I take a bath she starts flooding my head with ideas.

2. Number 2 asked you to go out with him/her?

Well, seeing as how he's pretty much like a son to me I'd suggest he get therapy.

3. Number 3 walked into the bathroom while you're showering?

Well, he is a Transformer so I'd have to repair my bathroom because if he walked in he'd tear the walls and ceiling apart.

4. Number 4 cooked you dinner?

As far as Decepticon cuisine goes he's a good "cook" but I'd be afraid of any human food he prepared.

5. Number 5 was lying next to you on the beach, sleeping?

I'd wonder how the hell I ended up on a beach then I'd thank primus she was asleep and run like hell before she decided to use me as sling shot ammo.

6. Number 8 got into the hospital somehow?

As a patient or a worker? As a patient would make sense since she's a munitions expert but I hope she would go to a Decepticon hospital. I doubt a human hospital could do much for her.

7. Number 9 made fun of your friends?

That depends on what she said about them. That's actually not Northstar's nature. She'd be more likely to make friends then make fun of them.

8. Number 10 ignored you all the time?

Again, that's not really Halo's nature but if she did I'd figure she saw me as one of her offspark and I must be doing something to annoy her.

WHAT WOULD THEY DO UNDER THE FOLLOWING CIRCUMSTANCES?

1. Two serial killers are hunting you down. What will Number 1 do?

Torch their asses.

2. You're on a vacation with Number 2 and you manage to break your leg. What does Number 2 do?

He's a medic in training....but a Decepticon medic. So, like Dr. Archeville I'd end up with bionic limbs.

3. It's your birthday. What will 3 give you?

Pickles.

4. You're stuck in a house that's on fire. What does Number 4 do?

I'd like to think he'd rescue me.

5. You're about to do something that'll make you feel extremely embarrassed. what does number 4 do?

Hmmmm,he's more of a guardian type so he'd probably stand back and watch then laugh and point out my error after the fact.

6. You're about to marry Number 10. What's Number 6's reaction?

There are all sorts of things wrong with that and I'm sure Torrent would agree with me there.

7. You got dumped by someone. How will Number 7 cheer you up?

I don't know Phobos all that well so he'd likely avoid me.

8. You're angry about it afterward, how does Number 8 calm you down?

She's probably suggest we go to a shooting range.

9. You compete in some tournament. How does Number 9 support you?

As one of my HMW Chars she's actually been *in* a few tournaments

10. You can't stop laughing. What will Number 10 do?

She'd call #1 (Phoenix) who is a psychologist.

RELATIONSHIP PART

1. Number 1 is all you've ever dreamed of.

Um, #1 is kinda sorta me so I have some serious issues including narcissism.

2. Number 2 tells you about his/her deeply hidden love for Number 9.

He's in love with his great aunt?! O.o

3. You're dating Number 3 and introduce him/her to your parents. Will they get along?

Ok, this quiz is getting kinda creepy. He's Pulsar's brother which means he's basically my son so that makes this question all sorts of wrong.

4. Number 4 loves Number 9 as well. What does that mean?

It means he's a wonderful brother who loves his sister

5. Number 6 appears to be a player, he/she breaks many hearts. What do you do?

Tell Quasar that she needs to dump his aft then send Pulsar out to beat him up.

6. You had a haircut and Number 7... ]]> *TCStarwarp http://TCStarwarp.deviantart.com/journal/12364240/ http://TCStarwarp.deviantart.com/journal/12364240/ Wed, 28 Mar 2007 15:03:08 PDT knows what I mean. I'm hoping it'll turn out half way decent and I think she's looking forward to coloring it for some odd reason. We blame Starscream.

]]> *TCStarwarp http://TCStarwarp.deviantart.com/journal/11576798/ http://TCStarwarp.deviantart.com/journal/11576798/ Fri, 26 Jan 2007 14:01:43 PST
1. Do you like animals?

yes

2. Have you ever met an online friend in person?

yes

3. Are you athletic?

Um, no

4. Are you: thin, fat, athletically built etc:

somewhere in between

5. How much do you weigh?

130 lbs

6. What's your height?

5 feet 6 inches

7. Shoe size?

9

8. Girls- are you tomboyish, girly, normal, etc?

It depends on the situation. A bit of both tomboy and girly

10. How old are you?

31

11. When's your birthday?

November 16

12. Do you like to receive giftart?

sure, why not

13. Are you sociable?

sometimes

14. Do you have many friends?

that depends on your definition of many

15. What's your race?

Seeker

16. Do you like to talk on the phone?

Not at all.

17. Are you single or taken?

taken

18. Do you eat meat?

absolutely...mostly beef

19. Are you paranoid?

sometimes

20. Do you read a lot?

I go in spurts

21. Do you listen to music, what kind?

Rock...definitely rock

22. Do you play any instruments?

no

23.How long have you been drawing?

most of my life

24.What's the meaning of life?

To piss off as many people as possible and have fun doing it.

Now I tag...

Anyone who cares to tag themselves.

]]> *TCStarwarp http://TCStarwarp.deviantart.com/journal/11333505/ http://TCStarwarp.deviantart.com/journal/11333505/ Sat, 06 Jan 2007 06:13:16 PST
Don't expect anything new from me in the near future. I've been suffering from artistic block and as I told my cohort I probably couldn't draw stick people to save my life at the moment. I've had some ideas but haven't been able to commit them to paper or get them to come out the way I've wanted.

My DA subscription expired and as I've said in the past I won't be renewing it although I really do miss all the nifty features. In the time that I was subscribed DA was more trouble than it was worth as it was riddled with problems. Yes, I'm very very stubborn.

View my cohort's gallery

Member of

]]> *TCStarwarp http://TCStarwarp.deviantart.com/journal/10369690/ http://TCStarwarp.deviantart.com/journal/10369690/ Thu, 12 Oct 2006 13:49:53 PDT
So is anyone else noticing DA being super slow? One of the reasons I haven't bothered with commenting on other peoples' stuff this week is it takes forever for pages to load here and I have DSL. And no, it's not my computer because this is the only site that's super super super slow. Everyone keeps saying use Firefox (which I have) but it's too much of a hassle for me. MSN Exploder has more features that I've grown rather accustomed to.

Because evil should always come in pairs

[link] A safe haven for Seekers ]]> *TCStarwarp http://TCStarwarp.deviantart.com/journal/9677731/ http://TCStarwarp.deviantart.com/journal/9677731/ Thu, 10 Aug 2006 12:30:11 PDT
Mood: perturbed
Listening to: Get Busy Living or Get Busy Dying by Fall Out Boy

It seems that they're slowly attempting to work the bugs out of it but....yeah, it really sucks. I've actually been thinking about ditching DA for a while now. Since I've had a paid subscription it's been riddled with problems. I'm not crazy about the new layout here and sometimes it takes forever for the pages to load. I'm sure even if I stopped uploading things here I'd still lurk around and check out others' works. All I have to do is figure out what the frag is wrong with my Verizon website or find another free web service that's easy enough for a dumbaft like me to use. I understand slag happens but the fact that some features have been down since before v5 rolled out and I can't view the forums here without getting booted off IRC really irritates me. I guess if I didn't have a paid account I wouldn't be as upset but the fact that I've paid for these features and they don't even work... ugh. Anywho, I'm rambling and babbling and trying to do several things at once while exhausted so ta ta.

Because evil should always come in pairs

[link] A safe haven for Seekers ]]> *TCStarwarp http://TCStarwarp.deviantart.com/journal/9392488/ http://TCStarwarp.deviantart.com/journal/9392488/ Sun, 16 Jul 2006 07:54:39 PDT
Mood: Not so good
Listening to: Deny by Default

I've been struggling for probably about two weeks now maybe longer as my sense of time is often skewed. I haven't had the energy or desire to really do anything which is why I haven't uploaded anything here in a while. I also haven't been commenting on the works of others much because I just don't feel like I have anything to contribute. This morning everything sort of came to a head and I'm feeling really empty and alone. Sometimes I feel like my life lacks purpose or meaning and I wonder when the universe will reveal its plans for me. It's a nasty vicious cycle I go through but I'm sure I'll snap out of it sooner or later. Here's to hoping it's sooner rather than later.

Because evil should always come in pairs

[link] A safe haven for Seekers ]]> *TCStarwarp http://TCStarwarp.deviantart.com/journal/8742371/ http://TCStarwarp.deviantart.com/journal/8742371/ Thu, 11 May 2006 17:15:50 PDT
Mood: busy!
Listening to: Nothing at the moment

I've trimmed up my watch list. Basically I've stopped watching people that have not done anything in a long time. If I cut you, please do not take offense. I'm just trying to tidy things up.

Because evil should always come in pairs

[link] A safe haven for Seekers ]]> *TCStarwarp http://TCStarwarp.deviantart.com/journal/8726896/ http://TCStarwarp.deviantart.com/journal/8726896/ Wed, 10 May 2006 04:14:21 PDT

Mood: Meh
Listening to: One Last Run by Nickelback

Seven things to do before I die

I don't make plans. I fly by the seat of my pants because I think it makes life more fun and interesting.

1. Get married

2. Have at least one kid

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

Seven things I can't (or won't do)

1. Make doing journal tags a habit (you're lucky you're my friend, Sheba )

2. Drugs

3. Finish this list

4.

5.

6.

7.

Seven things that attract me to music

1. Lead singer's voice

2. Lyrics

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

Seven things I say the most

1. Retard/retarded (yeah, I'm not P.C.)

2. That infamous F word

3. You're gonna miss me

4.

5.

6.

7.

Seven movies I could (or do) watch over again

1. Transformers: The Movie but only to a certain point

2. Little Nicky

3. Anything by Stephen King

4. Silence of the Lambs

5. Hannibal

6. Girl Interrupted

7. Heathers

Because evil should always come in pairs

[link] A safe haven for Seekers ]]> *TCStarwarp http://TCStarwarp.deviantart.com/journal/8707066/ http://TCStarwarp.deviantart.com/journal/8707066/ Mon, 08 May 2006 04:46:31 PDT
Mood: Proud
Listening to: Ordinary by Train

Again, many apologies if I don't reply to anything you've done but I just came back from working and fighting in the RDD/AWC battle on HMW. I didn't have any time to surf the net as my full attention was needed on MSN and the battle. We (the RDD) lost by one mission but we come out in high spirits because we fought well

Because evil should always come in pairs

[link] A safe haven for Seekers ]]> *TCStarwarp http://TCStarwarp.deviantart.com/journal/8475068/ http://TCStarwarp.deviantart.com/journal/8475068/ Sat, 15 Apr 2006 02:26:53 PDT

Mood: It's alive!!!
Listening to: Change by Deftones

My pc had crashed and I've been without for nearly a week. It's back now bigger and better but I'm a bit lazy and somewhat overwhelmed so I'm not going to respond to anything that happened while I was gone. But it is good to be back

Because evil should always come in pairs

[link] A safe haven for Seekers ]]> *TCStarwarp http://TCStarwarp.deviantart.com/journal/8371609/ http://TCStarwarp.deviantart.com/journal/8371609/ Wed, 05 Apr 2006 08:12:21 PDT

Mood: Crazy is a mood?
Listening to: Running Away by Hoobastank

Six weird things about me...

1. I can pop my thumbs numerous times which often grosses people out.

2. I can talk and burp at the same time...weird things or gross things? Hmmm

3. I can't read when someone is talking but I can read while watching television or listening to music.

4. I have a hard time not associating music to Transformers.

5. The smell of patchuoli and vanilla make me sick.

6. I became a better drive by watching NASCAR.

Now to select my victims



Because evil should always come in pairs

[link] A safe haven for Seekers ]]> *TCStarwarp http://TCStarwarp.deviantart.com/journal/8261550/ http://TCStarwarp.deviantart.com/journal/8261550/ Sat, 25 Mar 2006 04:03:16 PST

Mood: Meh
Listening to: Perfect Situation by Weezer

I had written a journal yesterday but it was during the time that DA was having issues and all comments were showing up blank or not at all. I don't save my journals to my hard drive because I have enough stuff I have to sort through and I can't be bothered with that.

So anyway, I was just complaining about the weather and how the cold has given just about everyone in our area the blahs and the sads. But then I checked the weather report this morning and rain is bringing warmer temperatures. Let's hope because I don't do too well in the cold.

The winter blahs mixed with PMS have left me without any inspiration or ideas. I haven't really felt like doing anything lately.

I was outside freezing my aft off checking on my plants yesterday and I started thinking of a coworker's birthday present. She's crazy about the Wizard of Oz but she has everything you can possibly imagine. She's a very sentimental person though. So I thought that maybe I'd try to draw her something. I thought maybe I'd give the Tin Man a try but I found some pics on the net of Emerald City. I only wish I could paint. I think it would turn out a lot better than pencils. I've got about three weeks to work on it so we'll see what happens. If all else fails I've got some screen shots that I can print on photo paper and frame for her.

Because evil should always come in pairs

[link] A safe haven for Seekers ]]> *TCStarwarp http://TCStarwarp.deviantart.com/journal/8062536/ http://TCStarwarp.deviantart.com/journal/8062536/ Sat, 04 Mar 2006 06:23:19 PST
Mood: Rested
Listening to: Perfect Situation by Weezer

So, vacation ends Tuesday morning and it's back to work for me. I'm feeling more relaxed and less homicidal which is pretty good. The HMW scalp hunt went well. It was my first competition and though I didn't win I think I did really well. Phobos has crapped out on me now that the competition is over though Pressure's off so I guess he thinks he can relax now.

Earlier in the week I bought some art supplies. Got some real colored pencils so I don't have to mess with those crappy crayola ones anymore and I bought a portfolio book since some of my drawings were getting damaged.

I had started to work on a drawing based on RP but I've lost motivation. It's hard to draw a picture of two characters coming to blows when they're getting along

I'm sure something will catch my eye and pique my interest. Until then it's life as usual.

Because evil should always come in pairs

[link] A safe haven for Seekers ]]> *TCStarwarp http://TCStarwarp.deviantart.com/journal/7995810/ http://TCStarwarp.deviantart.com/journal/7995810/ Sat, 25 Feb 2006 02:55:45 PST

Mood: Giddy
Listening to: Feel Good Inc. by Gorillaz

So, I'm on vacation for ten whole days and I have absolutely no plans which is fine by me. I don't like making plans. They usually fall through anyway.

Okay so maybe I lied. I do plan on playing HMW on Seibertron.com. It's a highly addictive game. Who would have thought that watching a timer count down and reading could be so much fun I was introduced to the game through and have met some wonderful people there such as and who invited me to Pax Cybertronia where there is currently a scalp hunt going on. Which means I'm guaranteed to play even more. Thanks to Sunstar, Soundwave and Tammuz for helping me set up my team (I go by Pulsar at Seibs btw) and good luck to anyone involved in the scalp hunt

Because evil should always come in pairs

[link] A safe haven for Seekers ]]> *TCStarwarp http://TCStarwarp.deviantart.com/journal/7728882/ http://TCStarwarp.deviantart.com/journal/7728882/ Sat, 28 Jan 2006 03:02:22 PST
Mood: Whooo hooo
Listening to: The Reflex by Duran Duran

So, I need some motivation. Does anyone have any suggestions?

I can't bring myself to do anything because I've got the winter blahs. The weather has actually been rather decent but I thrive more in the heat.

I want to exercise because that raises endorphins and gives you more energy but I lack the energy to start. I think if I can get going I can do so much more. I lack the desire to draw or write or do anything but sit here like a lump.

Doc offered to buy me a treadmill or something that I can use when it's too cold to go outside. I'm thinking of taking him up on that. Any other suggestions?

[link] A safe haven for Seekers

Because evil should always come in pairs ]]> *TCStarwarp http://TCStarwarp.deviantart.com/journal/7654066/ http://TCStarwarp.deviantart.com/journal/7654066/ Fri, 20 Jan 2006 02:40:43 PST
Mood: Meh whatever
Listening to: The Suffering by Coheed and Cambria

Doc is coming home in a couple of days so you'd think I'd be in a better mood.

As much as I love Skywarp, at times I can emulate Thundercracker. Too bad there's not an emoticon that really describes what I'm feeling right now.

I have a live journal but I've never used it. Something about lj's that seem too lemmingish to me. I'll admit that I've jumped off a few cliffs in my day but that's one that I think I'll steer clear of. The same goes with cell phones. I had a cell phone for a few months and all I got were text messages from my sister which really annoyed me because it ate up my minutes.

If you have any questions at this point I'll have to refer you to the header. Brooding for the sake of brooding I guess? Damn these anxiety attacks.

So then I was thinking of the Transformers. Oh how I love me some Transformers. And here comes Thundercracker again. If it's not a Decepticon and it can't fly...no sir, I don't like it. And you can't make me like it. Actually, I'm a snobbish elitist Seeker. I've only recently started liking Astrotrain and Soundwave. Here's my thing: I don't like anything but G1. I'm allowed to be stubborn and bullheaded and biased and I don't have to like comics or other universes or anything if I don't want to. It is my right and I choose to exercise it. You won't find me discussing Galaxy Force or RID or Dreamwave comics or whatever else is out there because quite frankly I don't really care for any of it.

That doesn't mean others can't like it. Like whatever you want. Be an Autobot for all I care. Just let me be my self centered, elitist, stuck up Seekerish self.

Again, not sure where this train of thought is coming from but there it is. Sometimes I have the need to be combative so frag only knows what's going on here. Your guess is as good as mine.

Because evil should always come in pairs ]]> *TCStarwarp http://TCStarwarp.deviantart.com/journal/7564581/ http://TCStarwarp.deviantart.com/journal/7564581/ Tue, 10 Jan 2006 13:33:35 PST
Mood: Amused
Listening to: Dance, Dance by Fall Out Boy

As many of you know I haven't been in the best of spirits lately. One thing that helps me is to be around other happy people. Since my family decided to neglect to tell me our aunt died and all of my RL friends are work friends, I have to go to work to be around other people. I live on a cul de sac of a snotty neighborhood. I don't know my neighbors and from what I know of them I'm glad I don't know them.

So, after having two rather lonely days off I was looking forward to going to work this morning. Everything was fine until one of my employees came in and started complaining. Yes, the company sent you something you didn't order. They do it at least once a week and you've worked here what thirty years? It happens, get over it. I rolled my eyes and informed her that I just walked in the door myself.

She went to work and started complaining about the night girls. "I'm tired of doing yesterday's work today," she said to anyone within earshot. I had had enough. I told her that if she was going to be in a bad mood she could just go home.

She continued to brood and pout and ignore me. She slammed things and complained to her two coworkers about how I had ruined her day. The more upset she got, the more amused I became. I had to go into the cooler to laugh at her a few times.

First breaks rolled around and when a coworker and I returned, she left. Put on her coat, grabbed her purse and left. As soon as she was out of sight I burst out laughing. A coworker said, "Won't she get fired for leaving without permission?" I responded, "She had permission. I told her to go if she was going to be in a bad mood."

She lost six hours of pay because of her attitude. What did she accomplish? She was made fun of and laughed at for her behavior. I'm known for my temper. Stories of my explosions are legendary. My calm and amused attitude toward her departure caused others to see me for what I really am. Evil.

The moral of the story is: Don't throw a temper tantrum because it's possible that no one cares.

Because evil should always come in pairs ]]> *TCStarwarp http://TCStarwarp.deviantart.com/journal/7541574/ http://TCStarwarp.deviantart.com/journal/7541574/ Sun, 08 Jan 2006 04:23:23 PST
Mood: Huh?
Listening to: Sugar We're Going Down by Fall Out Boy

Normally I'm quite good a multi-tasking but it seems my brain shut down in protest yesterday. Just a typical moment for me and one reason I fancy myself as Skywarp's avatar.

Anyway, I've experienced every emotion possible to humanity over the past few days. I've questioned my sanity at times but from what I've heard that's a good indication that you're not insane as the insane never doubt their sanity. That was a rather Mojo Jojo sentence. *scratches head and shrugs*

I still can't bring myself to draw. There seems to be a lot on anxiety with that. I attempted to work on a Skywarp sketch I've been tinkering with for about six months now and I actually got queasy. So, until I get over those issues I don't think I'll be posting any new drawings here. All of my old ones that I'm willing to post have been posted. Other than the occasional journal entry I doubt I'll be very active here for a while. Kind of a waste since I now have a paid subscription. *Sighs* oh well. We'll see what happens with that.

I had a final falling out with my family. They just don't know it yet. I guess having a different father than the rest of them makes me not one of them. For thirty years I thought that maybe they had accepted me. Boy, was I wrong. There are a lot of things I could say but what's the point. Don't walk away mad, just walk away, right?

This one is actually more coherent and sane than the one I accidental deleted. Guess things really do happen for a reason. Anyway, I'll still be lurking around here. You don't spend thirty bucks on something and just walk away. So anyone that gives a frag I'm here. But if I'm not here I'm in the Sanctuary. And if I'm not there I'm not on the internet at all because that's just how uneventful my life is

Don't delete don't delete don't delete...Huh? Oh yeah. See ya! *Salutes and teleports out*

Because evil should always come in pairs ]]> *TCStarwarp http://TCStarwarp.deviantart.com/journal/7536433/ http://TCStarwarp.deviantart.com/journal/7536433/ Sat, 07 Jan 2006 14:36:51 PST
Mood: Huh?
Listening to: Dare by Gorillaz

Ah frag it. Don't operate computers while insane, children.

Because evil should always come in pairs ]]> *TCStarwarp http://TCStarwarp.deviantart.com/journal/7475032/ http://TCStarwarp.deviantart.com/journal/7475032/ Sun, 01 Jan 2006 04:43:35 PST
Mood: Depressed/Angry
Listening to: Woke Up This Morning by Nickelback

I paid my last respects this mornin' on an early grave
Already said goodbye, nothin left to say
A tiny church a tiny town and not a tear was spent
Not how I wanted it, I'm hating all of this

Well I'm hating, all of this
I'm hating, all of this
All of this, all of this

Now I know why, I hide my love from you some days
No I don't mind keeping this bottled inside me
You came along, and tore this wall down around me
Looks like you found me
Now I know why
I felt like shit when I woke up this morning

I've been a loser all my life, I'm not about to change
If you don't like, there's the door, nobody made you stay
There ain't a woman on the planet who can deal with it
Just how I wanted it, I'm hating all of this

Well I'm hating, all of this
I'm hating, all of this
All of this, all of this

Now I know why, I hide my love from you some days
No I don't mind keeping this bottled inside me
You came along, and tore this wall down around me
Looks like you found me
Now I know why
I felt like shit when I woke up this morning



I should not be left alone to deal with my family on holidays. Or if I am alone, I should be allowed to ignore the holidays. It's not fair. Fuck you, dysfunctional family. I don't need your bullshit hanging over my head anyway. You do more damage than good to me.

I wish it was that easy. But for some really fucked up reason I can't just walk away. I can't cut them out. It's the most unhealthy relationship in my life and the only one I feel obligated to hang onto.

Why? They only care about me when it's convenient for them. When it benefits them. What do I get out of it? Not a fucking thing. Let's focus on me for once, people. Ever stop to think that I have issues too? Ever stop to think that I have the same genetic make up and have a tendency toward depression too? No, because you're all too fucking self absorbed and self centered.

I was invited to a few parties last night by co-workers but I wanted to turn down my sisters. I haven't seen or heard from them since Xmas. They live about five miles from here so it's not like distance is a factor. Guess they didn't want me hanging around. Fuck you too. I don't want you hanging around. Not like that's an issue. When's the last time you were at my house? I don't take to being ignored very well. So you know what? Fuck you. I'm, done. I don't care anymore. Mom is dead, Dad is a total fuck up that I cannot associate with anymore so there's nothing holding me to you. Goodbye and good luck.

]]> *TCStarwarp http://TCStarwarp.deviantart.com/journal/7420042/ http://TCStarwarp.deviantart.com/journal/7420042/ Mon, 26 Dec 2005 05:34:10 PST
Mood: Contemplative
Listening to: The Game by Trapt

And no, I don't really care. Out with the old and in with the new. Or so they say. I'm not going to make any resolutions. I made that resolution about ten years ago and it's the only one I've been able to keep. But the new year's approach always causes a bit of introspection.

So, I've decided to use my favorite element to wash away the past. I've gathered quite a collection of wrapping paper and boxes and general trash and those of you who know me know that I have a rather nice fire pit in my back yard. So, like the Phoenix I shall rise above the ashes and become reborn. <.< >.> I mean that figuratively. I'm not really going to set myself on fire. But I really will burn stuff because let's be honest: I'm a pyro.

So as the flames flicker toward the sky I'll release my grudges and free myself from this burden. I wish the same to you all. Happy new year and best wishes.

]]> *TCStarwarp http://TCStarwarp.deviantart.com/journal/7384592/ http://TCStarwarp.deviantart.com/journal/7384592/ Thu, 22 Dec 2005 17:01:28 PST
Holy crap, there are a lot of cool features on this DA subscription. It's worth it just for the neat buttons and things to play with. Merry Christmas to me What's another thrity bucks when you already owe $400? It could be worse. That's the only debt I have so when others owe thousands and hundreds of thousands of dollars, I'd say I'm doing ok.

]]> *TCStarwarp http://TCStarwarp.deviantart.com/journal/7355340/ http://TCStarwarp.deviantart.com/journal/7355340/ Mon, 19 Dec 2005 14:24:56 PST
His departure leaves me with a bit of a dilemma though. The Exorcism of Emily Rose. Oh how I love these movies but they scare the slag out of me. He would never watch it with me so even if he were here I'd have to watch it alone. It comes out on DVD tomorrow and I'm debating on if I should rent it or not. The last time he went home I watched the Ring. *Shudders violently*

It's more likely that someone will break into my home or that I'll die in a car accident than be possessed by water demons but the fear is there anyway. So, do I torment myself and watch it? Meh, who am I kidding. There's a Blockbuster within walking distance of where I work. I'm gonna do it. I'm sure I'll regret it ]]> *TCStarwarp http://TCStarwarp.deviantart.com/journal/7044309/ http://TCStarwarp.deviantart.com/journal/7044309/ Mon, 14 Nov 2005 11:04:27 PST
I get this way from time to time. I tend to be a bit paranoid and it usually ends up being nothing. I like to obsess about things or events, make them bigger than they really are and then smack myself when I realize it was never anything to worry about in the first place.

I'm chalking this one up to turning the big 3-0. That reminds me...did I change my age in my DA profile? *Makes mental note to change* For the most part I see age as just a number. I guess I'm a believer in that "you're only as old as you think you are" crap.

Another reason for my recent paranoia could be the fact it's been nearly three months since I quit smoking. I'm still struggling with the cravings but I haven't given in to them.

The turning 30 and not smoking has caused another side effect which may be another source of unease. Let's see... yep 17 pounds. I now weigh 135. That's actually a bit heavy for me. I've been a bean pole most of my life. I weighed more than this about 12 years ago but this time the weight is more evenly distributed. I've been told I look better which has put me at ease a bit but 17 pounds is a lot of weight to gain in three months. I think I'm getting over the initial shock and the disappointment in the fact that my clothes no longer fit. I actually have a cute curvy figure now. Now that I have hips I actually have a waist!

So I guess things aren't that bad. I'll let ya know if anything explodes. ]]> *TCStarwarp http://TCStarwarp.deviantart.com/journal/6718106/ http://TCStarwarp.deviantart.com/journal/6718106/ Sun, 09 Oct 2005 04:44:15 PDT ]]> *TCStarwarp http://TCStarwarp.deviantart.com/journal/6613573/ http://TCStarwarp.deviantart.com/journal/6613573/ Tue, 27 Sep 2005 03:25:35 PDT
My hopes just fell, and I can’t see
The reason why, why there is blood on my sleeve
And all this time, I thought it mine
But it’s not, it’s yours and

It’s not worth it for me, gets harder every time call you
This life you lead, like swimming in a shiny ballroom
Next time you bleed, right about this time tomorrow
Next time you steal, better ask before you borrow

And I don’t see too well, don’t sing too well
And I settle to scream
Just grab your shit, and leave with it
They won’t make no statues of you

It’s not worth it for me, gets harder every time call you
This life you lead, like swimming in a shiny ballroom
Next time you bleed, right about this time tomorrow
Next time you steal, better ask before you borrow
This label theif, find a better title suited for you
This tidal wave, is coming down upon you

This time I’ve forgotten
I swear this shit was rotten
This time, I believe it
Cause I’ve seen the shit you’re needin

It’s not worth it for me, gets harder every time call you
This life you lead, like swimming in a shiny ballroom
Next time you bleed, right about this time tomorrow
Next time you steal, better ask before you borrow
This label theif, find a better title suited for you
This tidal wave, is coming down upon you

*******************************************

That's one of my favorite songs and it seems to fit so many situations. I've been dragged into a situation where someone is claiming to have been victimized by me when in fact this person did it to herself. Oh the whole situation borders on slander and it's full of lies and deceit and I can't even step in to tell my side. It's really not worth it anyway. It's all a waste of my time and energy and being angry about it is pointless. So I just shrug my shoulders and say, "Meh." It is a bit funny too. Happy Bunny said it best with, "Your anger makes me happy." *Deep chuckle* ]]> *TCStarwarp http://TCStarwarp.deviantart.com/journal/6284979/ http://TCStarwarp.deviantart.com/journal/6284979/ Sun, 21 Aug 2005 03:40:08 PDT *TCStarwarp http://TCStarwarp.deviantart.com/journal/6251234/ http://TCStarwarp.deviantart.com/journal/6251234/ Wed, 17 Aug 2005 09:58:51 PDT
Um I don't like porno so I just don't look at it. Believe it or not, it's extremely easy to avoid. You would not believe how easy it's been for me to not see pornos on the internet.

This is not elementary school, folks. If someone says something on the internet that you don't like, you don't have to read it. ]]> *TCStarwarp http://TCStarwarp.deviantart.com/journal/6010168/ http://TCStarwarp.deviantart.com/journal/6010168/ Sat, 23 Jul 2005 04:08:52 PDT
Sooooo, my RP cohorts will not see me Tuesday. I plan on taking my sketch book and possibly my camera. Not sure I'll be doing anything besides eating, drinking and shopping but we'll see ]]> *TCStarwarp http://TCStarwarp.deviantart.com/journal/4978526/ http://TCStarwarp.deviantart.com/journal/4978526/ Sat, 02 Apr 2005 10:45:42 PST

*sigh* it looks like I'll be going to the doctor if it doesn't begin to clear in the next couple of days. ]]> *TCStarwarp http://TCStarwarp.deviantart.com/journal/3532656/ http://TCStarwarp.deviantart.com/journal/3532656/ Thu, 07 Oct 2004 07:27:04 PDT
I've been a bit down lately due to writer's block. I'm hoping that posting this will help me.

*************************************
Keep all your thoughts to yourself now
I don't need to trip on those words anymore
You blame me, blame them, blame the whole town
Don't you try to look down at me anymore

-Crossing The Line by Default


"Will you stop that?" Thundercracker growled.

"Stop what?" Skywarp asked perplexed.

"That incesant tapping. It's driving me nuts. Can't you sit still for an astro second?"

Skywarp exhaled sharply and sat silently at his console with his chin rested on his palm.

"Stop that!" Thundercracker shouted as he smacked Skywarp on the back of the head.

"WHAT?! I'm not doing ANYTHING!! I'm just sitting here." Skywarp protested.

"You were not 'just sitting there'. You were moving your foot and it was making an awful screeching sound." Grumbled the blue Seeker.

Skywarp swung his chair around to face Thundercracker. "What crawled up your afterburner?"

Thundercracker cocked his head and glared at the dark Seeker. "You're really getting on my nerves today. Just sit there, watch the monitor and leave me alone, ok?"

Skywarp clenched his jaw and turned to face the monitor. His knee bobbed rapidly as the tension and anger built up inside of him. He quickly turned back to Thundercracker.

"What? You got something to say?" Thundercracker snarled at Skywarp but never took his optics off his monitor.

Skywarp turned back to his monitor and grimaced. He turned back to Thundercracker and wagged his finger in the blue Seeker's face. "I don't know what your problem is but you don't need to take it out on me. If you have a problem with me then spill it, otherwise, keep your vocalizers off."

Thundercracker grabbed Skywarp's finger and squeezed it. "Don't you ever stick your finger in my face." He squeezed a bit harder causing the dark Seeker's finger to indent. Skywarp fought back a cry of pain but his expression gave him away. Thundercracker released the offending apendage and Skywarp immediately nursed it.

"Did I actually do something to piss you off or am I your whipping boy as usual?" Skywarp spat acidly.

"Whipping boy, where did you learn that word?" Thundercracker chuckled.

Skywarp scowled. "I'm smarter than you think I am. If you'd get off your fraggin high horse once in a while you'd see that."

Thundercracker turned to Skywarp with a puzzled look on his face. "What are you saying? You think I'm stuck up? You think I look down on you?"

"Yes, you do." Skywarp replied without hesitation. "You look down on everyone. You think your slag doesn't stink."

"You don't even know what you're talking about, Warp. Get back to work. This isn't the time or the place to discuss this anyway."

"No, you're wrong. This is the perfect place and the perfect time." Skywarp had raised his voice which caught the attention of Ramjet and Dirge.

"Keep your voice down. Do you want to get us both in trouble?" Thundercracker shushed.

Skywarp glared at the Coneheads who returned their optics but not their attention to their monitors. "I'm sick of your attitude. I don't know what your problem is but I'm real sick of these mood swings. How long have we been friends? I've overlooked it for years but I can't take it anymore. Why can't you learn to place the blame where it belongs? Like I said before, if I pissed you off, tell me. Otherwise shut your fraggin mouth."

In one swift movement Thundercracker stood from his console, grabbed Skywarp by the arm and dragged him to the hallway. Once outside the control room, he slammed Skywarp against the wall. "How dare you! What are you trying to do? You wanna pick a fight with me? Ok, let's go."

"You started it! You've been on my afterburner all morning. Ever stop to think that you get on my nerves too? I'm sick of this superior attitude of yours. You think you're so elite. You don't even know where your loyalties lie!"

Thundercracker slammed Skywarp against the wall again. "You learn that trick from Starscream? You really know how to push my buttons don't you? You know that's a sore spot for me. You gonna kick me when I'm down too?"

"Why not, you do it to me." Skywarp retorted as he pushed the blue Seeker away.
*TCStarwarp