deviantART: by:Talking-Pinata

My First Talky Journal In Awhile.

*Talking-Pinata — Mon, 14 Dec 2009 16:28:11 PST

TALK TALK TALK TALK. DOne. Just kidding! You don't need to read this.

Alarm: this is when society shocks you. You figure out what's really going on. You realize that you have to fight it. You cut your hair and wear blazers with shoulder pads. You don't wear makeup. You preach to all who will hear you. Have relevation after revelation and fill yourself up with disgust. The good fight has begun.

Resistance: The good fight continues. Becomes intense. You blush in anger when people offend you. More revelations occur. Make quite a few people hate you. Seem ignorant to the ignorant people in the world. Make big deals out of what might or might not be big deals. Refine your argument skills. Write literature to go along with your views.

Exhaustion: You finally find someone grand who will beat you down--sometimes willingly. You're so tired; so tired. The good fight is still there, but you want it to be quiet now. Only certain boundaries offend you. Parts of the people you used to defend bother you as a whole. You're rolling downhill--downhill--and changing as fast as the snowball that rolls so quickly down a snowy hill. A snowy, snowy hill. Speeding faster and faster, you relax. You realize what is and what isn't.

And the change begins.

You see; its when you give up that you truly realize where you are and where you were.

I love growing up.

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Friday Update

*Talking-Pinata — Fri, 11 Dec 2009 13:41:51 PST

I keep trying to edit Phlogiston, and it hasn't been happening.

I opened the "Yarn" folder on my flashdrive for the first time in literally six months or so. Intense.

I love the Bald Soprano by Eugene Ionesco; the world plays and essence of the idea are just so fabulous. I really would like to memorize one of the longer lines that the characters say. I was thinking about memorizing the story about the fox.

I have a LOT of work to do this weekend.

I discovered Emilie Autumn and am officially checking out her work. Still in the judging process.

My hamster died. ;____; R.I.P. Simon.

I would like to thank everyone in ADVANCE for my soon 20k pageviews. You guys rock.

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Feature of the Week (Because She Deserves It)

*Talking-Pinata — Wed, 09 Dec 2009 14:34:28 PST

performed her song "Upon a Foreign Affair" (lyrics are here: ) at the talent show at my school this past Tuesday (yesterday, as of right now). She won third place.

The lyrics are posted on deviantart to prove that she wrote them as well as to save them from being stolen. I received permission to post her video here: [link]

You can watch the song. (I apologize in advance for the screaming by me and my friend that will take place)

Tell her/me what you think. (and answer the poll)

This Journal Skin was designed by =Night-Beast

Confessions of the Least Girly Girl You Know

*Talking-Pinata — Sat, 05 Dec 2009 15:11:40 PST

1. Do you sleep in your bra?:
If I had boobs, I'd suppose it would be uncomfortable to go without, but when I'm alone in my room, no I do not sleep in my bra.

2. Do you enjoy drama?:
Television, yes. Real life... not really...

3. Are you a girly girl?:
No.

4. Who was the last person you hugged?:
I forget. Long time ago?

5. Small or large purses?:
GIANT PURSES.

6. Are you short?:
No. 5'9"

8.What would you do if someone smacked your butt?
WHO THE HECK ARE YOU AND DO YOU WANT ME THAT BADLY?

9. Do you care if your socks are dirty?:
Yes.

10. Do you dress up on Halloween?:
I would dress up even more if I had the money/time.

11. Are you double jointed?:
No.

12. Where is the weirdest place you have slept?:
I CAN fall asleep just about anywhere when given permission. I've slept on the bathroom floor and I've slept in math class directly in front of the teacher. Maybe my life will get more interesting sometime.

13. Has anyone touched/smacked your butt in the past 24 hours?:
Lol no.

14. Is there a rumor going around about you?:
That I'm mean and freak out too much (which I don't. I sound like I'm freaking out, but really I care very little as to what happens to my grades)

15. Do you call anybody by their last name?
Occasionally. Not much.

16. How many guys will read this just because it says "Girl Confessions?"
Not many, if any.

"X" Marks the spot:
[x] I do wear make-up. (GLITTER YO)
[x] I have cried at a movie theater.
[x] I can put mascara on without opening my mouth.
[x] I get jealous.
[x] I think Johnny Depp is sexy.
[x] I love to laugh.
[x] I like death/grind/black metal. (I LIKE INDUSTRIAL?!)
[x] I like rap. (it CAN be good...)
[ ] I like country.
[ ] I carry a purse.
[x] IÂd be lost without my computer.
[x] I own a Spice Girls CD.
[ ] I own a Britney Spears CD.
[ ] I own a boy band CD.
[ x I get bored watching football.
[ ] IÂve never been called a spoiled brat.
[x] Guys are confusing.
[x] I've been called a bad influence.
[ ] I have/had a piercing other than my ears.

1. What colour is your bra that your wearing?
Dark grey. BORING JUST HOW I LIKE IT.

2. Do you prefer light or dark haired guys?:
Dark haired if I get to choose.

3. Are you currently frustrated with a boy?:
Yes. I discovered that he's immature and I'm not the one to blame!

4. Do you have a best friend(s)?:
I have a few. 2 or 3.

5. Have you ever had your heart broken?:
Yes. But ... that's a weird story.

6. Have you ever thought of having plastic surgery?
Yep. Several times. I have a mental list.

7. Do you like your life?
Nope.

8. Has one of your friends ever stolen a boyfriend from you?
Nope.

9. Have you ever jumped in the pool with your clothes on?
I was always scared I would get in trouble, so no, but I would if I could.

10. Do you have more friends that are girls or boys?
Mostly girls.

11. How long have you had Facebook?
Forever. A year or so.

12. Have you ever slapped a boy in the face?
No I have not! THe things I have to look forward to in life!

13. What are your biggest fears?
Heights, being hideous, airplanes, and vomiting.

14. Have you ever cried yourself to sleep?
Most of the time. It gets you there pretty quickly.
Mr. Dumb... bum... yes.

16. Do you believe in the saying ÂOnce a cheater, always a cheaterÂ?
No. I think people can change, but a one-time cheater should revoke some of their privacies due to their past actions.

17. Have you ever had a good feeling about something?
Um, yes?

18. Do you ever wish you were famous?
Yes, being Lady Gaga would rule.

19. Are you currently missing someone?
I don't know.

This guy or that guy?: what...?
Punk/Goth or Gangster?: I don't know. Stereotyped men aren't my type. Punk if I HAD to choose.
Preppy or Cowboy?: Neither. Lol.
Face or Body?: Cheetos. I can't decide. Some of both? ?
Sweet or Sexy?: Sexy.
Well-educated or Dropout?: I don't care HONESTLY...

The Tidal Wave

*Talking-Pinata — Wed, 02 Dec 2009 18:14:49 PST

I think it's about to hit, quite honestly. And yet this is not a depressing journal (for once). Its partially a rant, partially an update, and partially a reflection on life.

Firstly. I would like to update randomly on Adam Lambert and my feelings toward him--I'd like to announce that no matter how much it doesn't matter. I've forgiven him, because his expalanation of what happened on the AMAs was too perfect. And his album was SO sick. (in the goo way). Beautiful vocals of course, wonderful music, sometimes fun, sometimes strong, sometimes sappy. I just love it all around.

Next, I'd like to explain my RELATIONSHIP TO THAT GAGA. I AM A SLAVE. I think, honestly, that woman and her falseness and her INSANITY have really taken a toll on my VERY soul. I can't get away from it. She injected a love of music, glamour, and fashion into me that no matter how much I try to be rid of it, WILL NOT GO AWAY. Right now, her 'music' and her 'fashion' (both of which are so DRENCHED in being FAKE that I love it. I love it I love it. It has something to say in all of its fauxness).

Next is school. I draw daily now, no matter what anyone says, I do 3-4 'drawings' a day. Most of them have been pretty lame so far, but it relaxes me and I find that I can do homework better if I do something else FIRST and without regret. Because I don't want to go into academics. I like photography and fashion very much, I've half decided. I also love music. And OF COURSE writing. So who knows where I'll end up.

Phlogiston editing has not gone far. I've edited part 1 (its not uploaded as the updated version, though) and nothing else. I think I'll get to that next, then start on my OTHER editing jobs.

Recently, I received JB in the mail (YES!) and I read the Bald Soprano by Ionesco for english class and I absolutely LOVE it. The playing with language and the different subjects are just so funny yet thinkable. It might seem like nonsense, and it is. Maybe that's the beauty of it.

"The fire caught fire.
Caught fire, caught fire..."

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Thanksgiving

*Talking-Pinata — Wed, 25 Nov 2009 20:40:00 PST

I've been ill, so I've attributed that to my lack of appetite in the past two days, but now I'm really really excited about the 'real food' I'll be able to stuff my face with tomorrow. Green bean casserole, awayyy!!

I just finished a night of a quick photoshoot with :midnight53: , if you really want to call it a 'hotoshoot.' She only had about 40 pictures left free (which apparently isn't much when you don't delete most of them, like I do), and we had no specific setting. It was fun, nonetheless, and I'm sorry if you get annoyed with the flood of a maximum of ten photos that I might upload in the next couple of days as I do my own edits.

I received my AL album in the mail, and I haven't even bothered to listen to it yet. My emotional connected-ness to music disturbs my very soul and I take artist-screwups as a personal offense. I'm awfully silly in that way.

If any of you would like to ask a question in the poll, just tell me, as I'm at a loss for funny polls with lyrics (probably until I post this journal).

I have nothing more to say. Gnight.

This Journal Skin was designed by =Night-Beast

AMA Insanity

*Talking-Pinata — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 13:46:59 PST

âª LINK | LINK | LINK | LINK | LINK âª

Oh lord. So I firstly was hearing all this stuff about Adam Lambert's performance on the AMA's. Anywhere from 'its just gay' to 'I can't talk about it, otherwise I will say mean things.' I hadn't watched it yet, so I had my friend watch it and tell me how it was. They told me 'it was very... sexual...'

So I got on AOL to come and check out my deviantart, and he's standing around on the front page of AOL news with the headliner "Was his performance too much?"

Now let me go watch it and see what I think after reading that quite grotesque article.

Okay I'm back. I have to say that was the most worrying thing I've seen in half of my good life. Firstly, WHAT THE HELL IS HE SINGING? That was the worst I've ever. EVER. Heard that man sing. That was a train wreck.

Secondly, I feel like he's faking it again. Only in the impolite way--like he's forcing himself to be someone he isn't quite only not in the nice and cute way like from AI. Even if you look up his older videos where he basically performed in underground sex clubs weren't as frightening as that was. On the other hand, the sexual moments came off as corny and ... awkward rather than, you know, SEXUAL?

What a train wreck--made me doubt the man as a whole. Why can't he stop focusing on the idea that he's GAY but will make out with women and get back to enjoying fashion? No one CARES anymore, Adam. Quit and do what you want to be doing.

*sigh*

Lady Gaga, you never fail me. *pokes journal skin*

EDIT: I didn't realize "The Fame Monster" came out TODAY. I thought it was tomorrow. Ah well, more for me. <3

Okay, This Is My Last Journal For the Week

*Talking-Pinata — Sun, 22 Nov 2009 19:51:17 PST

Unless something really really awesome happens. This is a more real journal, I believe, because it will involve more to its list.

1) I went to see New Moon in theatres today. I laughed through the whole thing. Funniest. Movie. Ever. Don't waste your money seeing it in theatres, in my honest and OBJECTIVE opinion. I found it to be worse than the first movie, and their lack of attention on any music whatsoever was boring.

2) I went to see the play "JB" at my friend's school on Saturday, and I have only a couple things to say about that play: Firstly, it is beautifully written. Beautiful, beautiful. And secondly it was very intense, even for non-religious people.

3) I ordered the book-form of the script from Barnes and Noble online using only gift cards. I discovered that I still have 13.33 dollars on one of my gift cards, which also brightened my day.

4) I'm very excited about editing Phlogiston.

5) This weekend I've done NO homework and I'm about to have the worst monday in history. I have a project to do by Tuesday that I haven't started on and approximately 5 tests in the next two days before Thanksgiving break begins. And yet I'm sitting here at 10:50 writing a journal.

6) I have a sinus infection or cold coming on. I hate it.

7) I'm currently reading "Waiting for Godot" by Samuel Beckett for english class and "Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintainance (spelled wrong)" for my theory of knowledge class. If you've read the books, any thoughts or opinions on them?

8) Adam Lambert's album comes out tomorrow, I probably won't get it for a couple days after that. Heh.

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Subscription

*Talking-Pinata — Sun, 22 Nov 2009 06:34:14 PST

Following the finishing of Phlogiston unedited, but finished, I finally asked to receive the subscription that I won in 's contest a long while back before summer ended.

Coming up:

POLLS!
STAMPS!
FEATURES.

Aren't you excited? (no)

This Journal Skin was designed by =Night-Beast

A Real Journal Entry

*Talking-Pinata — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 07:35:17 PST

1) I want to do a photoshoot involving pomegranates and fashion. Sadly, I have no money and no pomegrante and a crappy digital camera only.

2) I want to finish Phlogiston (12,000 words), but its starting to seriously to bug me into infinity. Can I NOT write anything worth while? Seriously, this stuff makes "Yarn" look good.

3) Its almost Thanksgiving Break. I will read, watch movies, and write. And listen to new music, make money, and pretend to be Lady Gaga.

4) When I get out of this hole in my life, I'm going to dress really Gaudy, I've decided. Too many layers.

5) I want to learn how to drive just because that could probably be helpful.

Dear Life: Please don't end in 2012. That would suck royally. I have so much artifically flavored sensations to live for.

I Have Issues With Music

*Talking-Pinata — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 06:23:03 PST

So I finally get around to preordering the Adam Lambert album (I want that harcover picture book, dammit!) and I don't know how I'm going to obtain the "Down The Rabbit Hole" single that's available for download on the release date. Maybe it'll show up in my email. I hope so.

Then I find out "Take One" is now actually AVAILABLE for download.

And "The Fame Monster" is coming out in like... less than a week? ACK!

How am I supposed to keep track of you people?!

Update Time, I Suppose

*Talking-Pinata — Sun, 15 Nov 2009 08:14:24 PST

I don't have much to say. I still have a bazillion amount of homwork, *makes wish* Sorry I looked at the clock and it was 11:11...

That was a long, ADD sentence. I have a lot of homework. I'm trying to make more/new friends because I'm getting sick of seeing the same people every day. So that's going so well...

My head is slowly imploding (emotionally), and I'm either getting really good at talking about it or NOT talking about it. Sometimes its hard to tell which.

These emotional issues have affected me and therefore my writing. There will not be more for awhile.

My Strange Friday

*Talking-Pinata — Sat, 07 Nov 2009 06:52:04 PST

Involved:

-Breaking up double cat fight (of the CAT, and NOT female sense.)
-Spontaneous nose bleeding
-Being yelled at by extremely conservative sub about a book.
-Smelling sulfur during one of my classes
-getting locked out of house, going across enormous neighborhood to get key, going back across neighborhood to get back to house, and going inside.

Then I saw a play.

Phlogiston parts 9/10 are up (10 is like... 100 words.)

I've also removed some of the middle chapters from Phlogiston and put them in storage. This, I think, would help prevent motives for stealing.

RIPMJ

*Talking-Pinata — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 08:29:59 PST

This is a really strange, obscure journal. Its also a bit belated.

I know everyone is saying it-- "R.I.P. M.J."

And that's how it is. Michael Jackson is dead. He ran himself into the ground, and society teasing him almost helped (he is noted to have said that he felt best on stage, where no one wanted to criticize him.)

Everyone used to joke about pedophelia, rapist, etc. without knowing what really happened about and with Michael. Now that he's gone, there is a rush of guilt flying through, over, above, within, and about people. They want to take everything they've said back. And they should.

Sadly, though, I believe I'm one of these people. Before his death, I hardly even knew more than one song of his ("Thriller"), and although it was great, people would never TALK about how great he was, because to other people he was 'creepy' or 'weird' or whatever else, and therefore endorsing him was a BAD idea.

Now that he's gone, I finally get around to WATCHING him and LISTENING to him. And I want to cry. I want to take back everything anyone else said about him FOR them (I really didn't partake in the awkward comments).

I don't know. It was just a thought.

These Weeks

*Talking-Pinata — Sun, 01 Nov 2009 13:01:17 PST

Are Crazy.

The past two weeks (and the upcoming week) have been and will be insanity. The whole system is keeping me running. Reading, and reading, and reading, and failing, and reading... and doing projects of all sorts, getting confused, working it out, quiz after quiz after quiz after test after quiz.

Insanity.

It is for these reasons that I have not updated in the least over the past two weeks as well as the reason that so far today I've read about 30 pages of a nonfiction book that reads very slowly.

I will be back eventually. (Love Lambert's new single, btw.)

**EDIT: THANK YOU FOR THE ALMOST 19,000 PAGEVIEWS!

'New Moon Mix'

*Talking-Pinata — Sun, 18 Oct 2009 07:36:07 PDT

I just decided to look up the 'new moon mix' of the Muse song "I Belong To You" that was the only song chosen to be on that godforsaken soundtrack.

It sounds like Muse went and signed up for Barney background music, quite honestly. The irony of the song (Its supposed to be about how 'I belong to you' is quite a sickening concept, unlike Twilight which embraces the idea of such a relationship in which one person is weaker and is owned by the other) dulled. Maybe its for that reason, even. To make it 'work' for Bella's sick and twisted relationships and mind.

Ew. Ew ew ew ew ew. Excuse me *runs to bathroom and does not return*

(P.S. I'm sorry I have not yet gotten to my deviations. I've actually been working on a huge project lately.)

Idolization

*Talking-Pinata — Sat, 17 Oct 2009 18:02:35 PDT

As time progresses, I'm slowly realising that I pick the weirdest freaking people to look up to.

Amanda Palmer (who advertises herself as basically a poetic whore, gotta love her), Adam Lambert (let's not go into how wrong that is to look up to him), Neil Gaiman (weird freaking writing that is normally extremely inappropriate to read), and now I think I'm about to add P!nk and Lady Gaga because they're just so... different. They're so strongly embracing and screwing over society at once that I could give them kisses (but I won't literally. :'D). They just so different and cool and... wrong. Gotta love it.

Lady Gaga is so awesome. Everyone should slowly come to this realization eventually, I believ. There was a time when I thought she was a shallow, horrible person. Now she's the coolest bum person I could ever talk about.

When all of you get famous I DEMAND that you invite me places so I can be 'that chick in the background who dresses like a freak' because I've come to the decision that I love runway fashion and will dress up for the remainder of my life.

Can't wait for college and the money it will bring so I can shop thrift stores.

This is rambling. I should get back to the hugest wave of homework ever...

Weekly Update-- Things Aren't Always as Bad...

*Talking-Pinata — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 08:26:41 PDT

As they seem.

I bought a netbook (woot woot), so as I type this I'm still trying to adjust to the tiny, tiny keyboard. But its exciting no matter what. :3

IMPORTANT, PLEASE READ: I want to give everyone a disclaimer on arguments. I've recently discovered (maybe its through doing Congress in my Theory of Knowledge class, but whatever. Its fun.) that I love to argue with people. BUT NOT JUST ANY ARGUING. I like to argue against people whether I believe something or not. It makes their arguments FORCED to be so much more refined. They have to rethink their approach! Then they can win MORE arguments for their cause it a good, just manner. I only, I think, will NOT argue against people about one topic. And one topic alone. And that's not one I'm putting right here right now because I have school work and would rather spend my time getting that knowledge than unleashing hell on you guys. This disclaimer is just to clarify that what I'm arguing is not against your beliefs, but often simply against your argument because I want your argument to be CORRECTLY DONE and undefeatable.

I'm not failing at all!!! I'm making a high B now!!! YES!!!

OMG UPDATE PLZ?

*Talking-Pinata — Sun, 11 Oct 2009 09:12:53 PDT

Hey, this is Pinata here with the commentary of the week.

This week's theme was 'lack of sleep' and 'lots of ridiculous work' but friday was a FABULOUS DAY.

Turns out I'm NOT failing that difficult class. Just making a C. Which is still bad, but MUCH easier to fix if I work hard.

I made a 93 on my three minute speech, which is pretty durn good for that class. That's all due to my practicing in my closet for three hours straight (literally).

I don't know how I did on my math test so far, and that's not good. I have the second part tomorrow. That's not good either.

I. Am. Getting. A. Netbook. (which is a mini-laptop with internet and microsoft word).

Which is amazing. Now I can type-write stuff. Now I can do projects for school IN MY ROOM GOSH DARN IT.

I'm getting it on Tuesday!!! Yes. Friday was a good day.

Halp?

*Talking-Pinata — Fri, 09 Oct 2009 14:47:15 PDT

Does anyone know how to hide your profile from non-deviantart members?

This week...

*Talking-Pinata — Sat, 03 Oct 2009 15:21:29 PDT

I was finally scolded for complaining. Thank god, its about time.

I'm failing my first class and its ALL-MY-FAULT.

I'm missing comments on my crappy writing from my friends.

I'm dreaming in COLOR, like usual.

I'm learning about Native Americans and how they were forced from their homes and told to march away from them just like all of you bastards are forcing me to MARCH away from my childhood. You idiots won't even carry me.

I'm learning about deception and how the Buggers never meant any harm.

I'm wishing that I never loved that anonymous 'you.'

Friday Update

*Talking-Pinata — Fri, 25 Sep 2009 18:12:39 PDT

The weekly one is back.

I've been working word-by-word on Phlogiston and its coming so slowly.

I'm going to bed tonight so I can actually get the correct amount of sleep that humans are supposed to get.

Mika's new cd, and Angelspit's new cd, and Muse's new cd have all been FABULOUS.

My class ranking has risen again (party) and my GPA is also higher, making my Friday a rather good one.

I'm working my bum off, kids. Learning about the Calculus is proving to be harder than should be legal (haha).

If you haven't started reading Phlogiston, tell me here so I can tell you when I repost the edited thing at the very end.

(Did you know its currently 8,800 words long in total and I still have JUST under one half to go? Its a regular novella!!)

Out of:

*Talking-Pinata — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 20:26:04 PDT

Out of those 2 or 3 poetry pieces I've written, I've only edited them about ten times since I posted them and I've reposted them a LOT.

"Proof" is the most changed. I has extra wordses now. I (think) I have them how I want them, but then again... I like editing my own poetry it appears.

Weekly Journal Entry

*Talking-Pinata — Sat, 19 Sep 2009 16:09:35 PDT

I guess you could call this one important:

1) Last weekend I got all my hair chopped off and now I have a short haircut.

2) On Tuesday my braces-for-past-two-and-a-half-years were removed. New hair. New smile.

3) Also on last Tuesday, the new Muse CD was released, and I love its artsy-ness. Refreshing for Muse to finally do something like this. So much classical music inspiration that I have begun referring to it as a "Cyber Symphony". Its beautiful.

4) I got into a lot of arguments this week. I would like to apologize. To all of you.

5) I am missing someone I shouldn't ever miss.

Another Week

*Talking-Pinata — Fri, 11 Sep 2009 15:52:25 PDT

Firstly, I got over my upper respritory infection over the weekend (last weekend) and finished my antibiotics on Wednesday.

Then my throat started hurting.

I got back from the doctor's a couple hours ago and it turns out that I now have strep and must return to anti-biotics. Yum.

I failed a couple tests this week and Beta club at my school has gone completely insane.

As I type this, I've checked all my deviations already. I hope my responses are satisfactory.

I want to read books, and I've discovered that the intros to the Sandman should be reguarded as great works of literature. Some of the introductions by other people say some of the most wonderful things. For example in Volume 9 (The Kindly Ones), Frank McConnell, he writes:

"Amiri Baraka, back when he was Leroi Jones, wrote that art is whatever makes you proud to be human. That is one hell of a good definition of art, and also of the religious imposle, which is after all just the artistic impulse wearing a different hat: the desire to say or see something that convinces us that we MATTER, that our messy, brief lives have a sense, a direction, a clear vector, despite their messiness and brevity. Art isn't 'order out of chaos': that's God's problem, whoever he/she is. Art is the dream order out of the sense of chaos: the three cushion shot to the eight ball, the hewn stone that looks like the God Apollo, Charlie Parker improvising on 'how high the moon,' or Fred Astaire, even if he's only walking across a room. Or 'The Kindly Ones.'"

Brilliance.

Then he goes on to call Neil Gaiman's use of language brilliant, busy, and 'with no space' (which is exactly how I like my literature--chock full of useful things and vividity. I guess I learned to love it by learning to love him.) and its just wonderful.

How the Clock Works

*Talking-Pinata — Mon, 07 Sep 2009 11:38:28 PDT

More and more people have been coming to me with worries about their watchers, viewers, listeners, readers, etc. and not just on deviantart in general. They're worried that they don't appreciate them. They're worried that they're not on the right track; that the people don't agree and like them.

And slowly I've been realising the key thing: You have to like your own work first.

This journal is not to any one in particular, it is to the masses, becasue I finally have thoughts on something that isn't school related.

You don't have to love what you do. It is very difficult to adore yourself. You just have to like it. "Will they think of me as a poor artist if I....?" Will you? Will you be ashamed if you do that? Do what YOU want to do, because the people who made it in the world and are now breeding conciousness, enlightenment, and joy on people are the people who just wrote, drew, sang, etc. for themselves--because they LOVED it.

Neil Gaiman, I can tell, simply finds that entertaining himself is worth the writing. That is (honestly) what he does. He has ideas and jokes and he writes them down to put a smile on his own face. Look where he is now.

The listeners and people who get it will come. Just keep growing as an artist. Keep practicing just to get better and see what you can do next. Keep having those ideas. But QUIT being afraid to have them and execute them.

You guys are and can be the chosen ones of the upcoming tradeover of generations into the world. You just have to want to do what you do for YOU.

Write/draw/sing to SAY something. Not for others to hear. Because you can control and alter and perfect what you say. You can't force someone to listen.

I love you all.

Deviations are checked.

*Talking-Pinata — Sat, 05 Sep 2009 10:12:08 PDT

I've checked all 150 deviations in the past few days and commented on most of them. Its your turn now. I challenge you to start hacking away at that massive amount of deviation that I know is in your inbox. ;D

TGIF. Seriously.

*Talking-Pinata — Fri, 04 Sep 2009 13:44:41 PDT

My week has been a bizarre disasterous mix of good and evil.

I'm slightly better now. But not really yet.

I've done a lot of school work and performed a 7 minute skit about absolutely nothing (literally).

Learned about lobotomies.

I'm being a zombie right now, I apologize, its the school work.

I'm working really hard, you guys. I'm really going to try and not screw up too badly this year. I'm going to be studying this weekend for a test on Tuesday (we have Monday off!!).

But today is Friday, and so I shall rest and play and be happy. Fridays...

I'm checking deviations and messages, so expect to finally hear from me on a lot of stuff.

I'm still writing when I get a chance, even a couple sentences here and there in school (which suprises me as much as it should suprise you.)

I'm kind of brain dead and mellow right now, thus the paragraphs all starting with 'I'm'.

...

haah.

In two weeks, Muse's "The Resistance" comes out. That's good.

Pinataology

*Talking-Pinata — Mon, 31 Aug 2009 05:32:57 PDT

Rules: Okay, if you get tagged you have to do this too. Let others know a little more about yourself, re-post this as your name followed by "ology".

FOODOLOGY*

What is your favorite sit down restaurant?
Doc Chey. I'm not too sure that's how you spell it, but they have the most fresh, wonderful Chinese food... in America.

What is your favorite fast food restaurant?
I don't like fast food, but I do mildly enjoy burger king's french fries.

what food can you eat for weeks and not get sick of?
The tropical fruit snacks that are Target brand.

What are your pizza toppings of choice?
I like the supreme pizzas. With pepperoni, sausage, peppers, and onions. mmmm...

TECHNOLOGY*

How many televisions are in your house?
Well... only 2 are hooked up to television, but I have one for my wii and movies.

What color cell phone do you have?
... ruby colored? ?

BIOLOGY*

Are you right-handed or left-handed?
right handed

Have you ever had anything removed from your body?
NOOOO.

What is the last heavy item you lifted?
My history book. Yay for America being not-that-old historically but having way too many pages still...

Have you ever been knocked unconscious?
I've ALMOST fainted once. It was... strange.

If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die?
No.

If you could change your name, what would you change it to?
I think I'd pick something boring, but obscure. I can't really say because its a new name every time I hear a new name that I like.

Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1000?
... sure. I would try. 1000 dollars would buy me a computer.

DUMBOLOGY*
Last time you had a run-in with the cops?
... I didn't...?

Last person you talked to?
My mom, about staying home from school today and going to the doctor ASAP.

Last person you hugged?
Ahahaa...

FAVOURITOLOGY*

Season?
I really dont' have a favorite, favorite. Because all of the seasons have emotions I associate with them, and each day I might feel like one or the other. But honestly, it has to be either spring or autumn.

Holiday?
Summer vacation. Orrr... if we're talking real holidays, I don't have one. I don't like excuses to act differently from every day life because honestly, if you want to act that way, then you should whenever you want. I do enjoy celebrating made up characters birthdays...

Day of the week?
Fridays or Saturdays, of course.

Month?
JUNNEEEE.

CURRENTOLOGY*

Missing someone?
My friends right now...

Mood?
I'm feeling rather okay despite the fact that my world is crashing around my ears.

What are you listening to?
Nothing. My new computer doesn't have itunes yet.

Watching?
Nothing.

Worrying about?
42, life, the universe, and everything.

RANDOMOLOGY*

First place you went this morning?
Yo fue al bano. *without the squiggly thing over the n. *

What's the last movie you saw?
Part of Mirrormask. I miss Mirrormask...

Do you smile often?
I do, myseteriously...

MEOLOGY*

Do you always answer your phone?
If I notice that someone is calling.

If you could change your eye color what would it be?
I don't know. I have giant eyes and eye color has never been a big problem for me. Eyes are pretty in general. Now if I could change my hair color, I'd go for something darker.

Do you own a digital camera?
Yesh. Mi camera es mi amoorrrr. *is destroying spanish in this journal*

Have you ever had a pet fish?
Noooo.

What's on your wish list for your birthday?
The old computer.

Can you do pushups?
Hardly.

Can you do a chin up?
Hahhahahahaa. No.

Does the future make you more nervous or excited?
Nervous > Excited. But I will survive.

Do you have any saved texts?
I do.

Ever been in a car wreck?
Nope.

Do you have an accent?
I don't believe I've succumbed to the accent of the area surroundi...

FML??

*Talking-Pinata — Sun, 30 Aug 2009 11:39:53 PDT

So that illness I had started to go away!

... THEN I LOST MY VOICE AND AWKWARD TASTING STUFF WAS IN MY THROAT AND I HAVE A SLIGHT FEVER AND YEAH.

I really, really cannot miss school, but I might. Just tomorrow. To go get some anti-biotics.

I cannot handle school if I can not sing/talk/laugh away the blues of its wonders and stress. If I cannot speak, then I cannot work properly in the numerous groups we work in and such, but we'll see. For all I know, a day off might let me get ahead.

... or get on schedule.

... or get on schedule and finish Phlogiston (if only...)

I apologize again for the delays on everything. Family computer broke, I was sick, we haz no moneyz, school is insane. You know, the usual.

I'd like to thank everyone for my almost 17,000 pageviews (only, like, thirty more to go).

Illnesses and Depresedness... es...

*Talking-Pinata — Thu, 27 Aug 2009 19:26:57 PDT

School sucks. It is the most number one life draining thing ever.

I apologize to Bryn for not asking for a subscription or my feature yet. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I still don't want them yet, though. Too busy to even be happy with them.

I'm sorry to my person who I won a print from. I will be choosing one as soon as I can, but I'm too busy and as of right now I'm wasting time again.

Homework absorbs my life after school.

I ended up with a virus (Not H1N1, I promise. ) and I still go to school because there's no way in heaven I can miss any days. I'm hoping to be mostly better by Monday. Each week is a struggle.

Honestly, guys. I don't care who you are or where you come from. You CANNOT convince me you have more homework than I do. :-D

I won another contest. But I haven't been able to read the journal yet. My life is a torture.

School Begins (and my life, as predicted, ends)

*Talking-Pinata — Sat, 22 Aug 2009 13:07:23 PDT

I don't know where to begin with the past four days. It's been insane (good and bad), but as I sit and type here I feel worse and worse about wasting time. Wasting. Time.

First day of school was the best I've had since... I don't know when. Very good. Perfect, if you will. The second day scared the living daylights out of me--I discovered that there were aspects to the 'IB' program which they didn't bother to inform us of until we got into the program.

I won Bryn's contest. *bragging session over* I was just so excited. *QUIT BRAGGING!*

Friday was... a relief. Today I've been doing my Theory of Knowledge homework that apparently takes hours and hours to complete.

I discovered that I need to KNOW spanish. And I thought I might want to try and get ahead in Calculus so I have Calculus for Dummies and I'm about to go read a bit of that before I try and decipher some of "Charlottes Web" in spanish (which will help me learn it!!! D:<. And I discovered that... I just want to KNOW more. And enjoy knowing it. For so long I've just accepted school as what I needed to know and...

but I'm so lazy. -.-

And I have much school work to actually do now.

Oh well.

"You smell... like roses!!! : )" --- Adam Lambert (who needs to get off Twitter and write some music.)

Sorry, Sorry

*Talking-Pinata — Wed, 19 Aug 2009 17:49:52 PDT

Hey, sorry I haven't answered all of the comments/replies as well as deviations in my inbox. Busy week. I will be checking all of them ASAP.

Dreaming in Crappy Writing

*Talking-Pinata — Tue, 18 Aug 2009 18:10:14 PDT

MY EYES ARE GOING TO BLEED OUT OF MY HEAD IF I DON'T STOP WRITING.

So guess what, if I don't write 3,500 or so more words tonight I won't finish one of my summer goals and my supersition will become bad luck for the next couple of days.

But I've already written 3,894 in the past 3 hours or something, and my head feels heavy and my eyeballs feel tired and...

sorry about Phlogiston parts 3,4, and 5 being... quick. xD

Its Always Something I SAID.

*Talking-Pinata — Sun, 16 Aug 2009 17:23:40 PDT

Always.

Distorted.

Misinterpreted.

Everyone. Not just one person. Everyone. Or most everyone.

And you know what? I'm getting sick of being the most different person in the fucking world. I'm sick of expressing myself in arguments and seeming harsh and then turning out to be a chicken. A lame-ass chicken. I wish I could take a vow of silence. I really really do.

But my family...

Family. -_______- I get tired of people complaining about theirs because I TRY to not complain about them. I guess I have been more and more recently. Sister calls me emo. Has said to me "Why couldn't you be more normal?". And that's probably what a good day is like. Dad ignores my opinons but likes me agreeing with his. Mom doesn't understand my personality. Older sister won't give me a chance to be older. It doesn't seem that bad. But... I don't know. I don't talk to them about me anymore. Not the real me.

I'm drowning in the judgement of non-divine figures. And yet sometimes it feels just as powerful as the judgement of God.

All of my words are messed up.

My family doesn't even know I developed an almost social-fear of drawing. Especially in public. I have subconcious mental break downs and my ideas stop. Dead-still.

I'm sick of talking. Sick of hurting people. Sick of being the only one that sees society for what it is and gets angry about it. Sick of holding close that one secret I have never told anyone. But sick of talking, because I know it'll lead to nothing. Protest doesn't lead to change. I wish I was blind again. I want to quit being invisible now. I want to be blind (metaphorically).

Silence.

Silence.

Silence.

Silence.

... *Silence*

My Life According To The Dresden.

*Talking-Pinata — Sat, 15 Aug 2009 21:07:23 PDT

Using only song names from ONE ARTIST, cleverly answer these questions. Pass it on to 15 music lovers and include me. You can't use the band I used. Try not to repeat a song title. It's a lot harder than you think! Post as "My life according to (band name)"

[Pick your Artist:]
Dresden Dolls

Describe Yourself.
Girl Anachronism

How do you feel?
Dirty Business

Describe where you currently live.
Modern Moonlight

If you could go anywhere, where would you go?
Shores of California

You and your best friends are...
My Alcoholic Friends

What's the weather like?
Good Day

If your life was a TV show, what would it be called?
Modern Moonlight

If you could be anything, you'd like to be...
The Kill

What's the coolest super power?
Gravity

What is life to you?
Slide

Your last/current relationship.
Necessary Evil

What makes a good boyfriend/girlfriend?
The Perfect Fit

What is your fear?
Me and the Minibar

How would you like to die?
First Orgasm

Your soul's present condition.
Truce

What is the best place to relax?
Boston

What is your motto?
Sing

Meme

*Talking-Pinata — Sat, 15 Aug 2009 20:34:09 PDT

If you were tagged, you gotta do this!
Have fun!!
Put an x in the boxes that are you!

YOUR BOY SIDEÂ-
[x] You love hoodies.
[x] You love jeans.
[] Dogs are better than cats.
[] ItÂs hilarious when people get hurt.
[] Shopping is torture.
[] Sad movies suck.
[x] You own a car racing game.
[x] You played with Hot Wheels cars as a kid.
[] At some point in time you wanted to be a firefighter.
[x] You owned a DS, PS2, N64,or Sega.
[] You used to be obsessed with Power Rangers
[x] You have watched sports on TV
[x] Gory movies are cool.
[x] You go to your dad for advice.
[] You own like a trillion baseball caps.
[] You used to collect hockey cards.
[] Baggy sweats are cool to wear.
[x] ItÂs kinda weird to have sleepovers with a bunch of people.
[x] Green, black, red, blue, or silver are one of your favorite colors.
[x] You love to go crazy and not care what people think.
[] Sports are fun
[x]You talk with food in your mouth.
[] You sleep with your socks on at night.
[] You have fished at least once

Â-YOUR GIRL SIDEÂ-
[x] You love to shop.
[x] You wear eyeliner
[] You wear the color pink.
[x] You go to your mom to talk.
[x] You consider cheerleading a sport.
[] You hate wearing the color black.
[x] You like going to the mall.
[x] You like getting manicures and/or pedicures
[x] You like wearing jewelry.
[x] You cried watching The Notebook.
[] Skirts are a big part of your wardrobe.
[x] Shopping is one of your favorite hobbies.
[] You donÂt like the movie Star Wars
[x] You are/were in gymnastics
[x] It takes you around one hour to shower, get dressed
[x] You smile a lot more than you should.
[] You have more than 10 pairs of shoes.
[x] You care about what you look like.
[] You like wearing dresses when you can.
[x] You like wearing high heel shoes.
[x] You used to play with dolls as little kid.
[x] You like putting make-up on others.
[x] You like being the star of everything.
[] Pink is one of your favorite colors.

Appearance Â

[] I am shorter than 5â²5â³.
[] I have many scars.
[] I tan/ burn easily.
[x] I wish my hair was a different color.
[] I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color.
[] I have a tattoo.
[x] I am self-conscious about my appearance.
[x] IÂve had/have braces.
[x] IÂve been told IÂm attractive by a complete stranger.
[x] I have more than two piercings.
[] I have / had piercings in places besides my ears.

Â Embarrassment Â

[x] IÂve slipped out a ÂlolÂ in a spoken conversation.
[x] Disney movies still make me cry.
[x] IÂve snorted while laughing.
[x] IÂve laughed so hard IÂve cried.
[x] IÂve glued my hand to something.
[x] IÂve laughed Âtil some kind of beverage came out of my nose.
[] IÂve had my pants rip in public.

Â Health Â

[] IÂve gotten stitches.
[] Broken a bone.
[] IÂve had my tonsils removed.
[] IÂve sat in a doctorÂs office with a friend.
[] IÂve had my wisdom teeth removed.
[] IÂve had serious surgery.
[] IÂve had chicken pox.

Â Traveling Â

[x] IÂve driven / riden over 200 miles in one day.
[x] IÂve been on a plane.
[] IÂve been to Canada.
[] IÂve been to Cuba.
[] IÂve been to Niagara Falls.
[] IÂve been to Ottawa.
[] IÂve gone to Sudbury.
[] IÂve been to the Caribbean.
[] IÂve been to Europe
[x] IÂve been to Florida

Â Experiences Â

[x] IÂve gotten lost in my city.
[x] IÂve seen a shooting star.
[x] IÂve wished on a shooting star.
[x] IÂve seen a meteor shower.
[x] IÂve gone out in public in my pajamas.
[x] IÂve pushed all the buttons on an elevator.
[] IÂve kicked a guy where it hurts.
[] IÂve been to a casino.
[] IÂve been skydiving.
[] IÂve gone skinny-dipping.
[] IÂve drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour.
[] IÂve crashed a car.
[] IÂve been skiing.
[] IÂve been in a musical.
[x] IÂve caught a snowflake or snow on my tongue.
[] IÂve seen the Northern Lights.
[] IÂve sat on a rooftop at night.
[x] IÂve played a prank on someone.
[x] IÂve ridden in a taxi.
[x] IÂve seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
[x] IÂve eaten Sushi
[x] IÂve been snowboarding.

Â Honesty / Crime Â

[x] IÂve done something I promised someone else I wouldnÂt.
[x] IÂve done something I promised myself I wouldnÂt.
[x] IÂve snuck out.
[x] IÂve lied to my parents about where I am.
[x] IÂve cheated while playing a game.
[] IÂve ran a red light.

MSN

*Talking-Pinata — Tue, 11 Aug 2009 21:16:49 PDT

Is there a way to get MSN messenger for free and have it NOT automatically pop up on your computer when you log on???

HAI ANSWER THIS LETTER WITH YOUR ANSWERS PLZ

*Talking-Pinata — Tue, 11 Aug 2009 10:30:07 PDT

Dear Pinata

I _______ you.

You have a nice _______.

You make me _______.

You should _______.

Someday I will _______.

You + me = _______.

If I saw you now I'd ______.

I want to _______you.

I would build a _______ just for you.

If I could sing you any song it would be _______.

We could _______ under the stars.

From,

__________

(P.S. _______________.)

Oh and I am _____ (going/not going) to post this under my notes/journal and see what you write about me.

o____________________________o

*Talking-Pinata — Mon, 10 Aug 2009 17:45:24 PDT

[link]

All I can say is thank you to anyone or anything that had to do with this.

That is all I can say, for honestly I spent the last 5-10 minutes mouth hanging open going "what the f**k? *rubs eyes* ... o______________o what the f**k?"

THANK YOU.

I want to know YOUR interpretation of these lyrics

*Talking-Pinata — Sun, 09 Aug 2009 19:27:22 PDT

Gravity plays favorites, I know it cause I saw.
Honest to god officer it's awful. [Awful...]
Down at work, I'm getting too familiar with the floor
Trading in my talents by the mouthful.

Hate to break it to you, but it's out of my control,
Forces go to work while we are sleeping. [Sleeping...]
If I could attack with a more sensible approach
Obviously that's what I'd be doing [Right?!]
Someone tell her,
Someone get her off!

[Now!]
Necks are cracking sideways,
Hit me from the back side.
I am on the white side,
You are on the black side.
Cut a piece that's bite size,
Shoot me from my good side.
If you got a straight line,
This would be a good time.

Gravity works slowly if you notice it at all,
Some of us are getting mighty lucky [aren't we?]
If you had to live with this, you'd rather lie than fall,
[You think I can't fly...?] Well you just watch me! Watch me!

Someone tell her,
Someone get her off!

-You can do it
Good girl (recites ABC's)
[Right] Right foot
[Left] Left foot
That's just the way we showed you
Back in the car!
Can't put on the seat belt!
Posture, Oh oh oh
Posture, Oh oh-
Look I think she's going now...
Oh my god I'm gonna see if she's moving ok?

I think we've lost her!

[Now!]
Necks are cracking sideways,
Hit me from the back side.
I am on the thin side,
You are on the fat side.
Cut a piece that's bite size,
Shoot me from my bad side.
If you want a straight line,
This would be a good time.

The sky is always falling down on me,
The sky is always falling, falling.
The sky is always falling down on me,
So officer, forgive me, please!

--Gravity by Dresden Dolls.

All Dresden Dolls songs (or almost all) have a metaphorical interpretation and the literal one. The literal one is obvious, especially in this one, so I want to hear YOUR interpretation of the metaphorical one, because there are MILLIONS of rumors flying around.

One is that its about anorexia as involved in the modeling industry
Another is that its about getting caught drunk driving (which explains the odd interlude with ABCs and the whole 'straight line' thing.)

I think it may be about these but I also was considering love, the fact that the english terminology for love is 'falling into' it and gravity causes you to fall. So I was thinking its about how love can be forced, wanted, betrayed, destructive, and mind boggling.

But I don't know. Your opinion? Agree with one of these or make up your own. I REALLY want to find one I'm really confident in.

Random Depression + Question/Advice from Writers

*Talking-Pinata — Sat, 08 Aug 2009 22:40:17 PDT

I don't feel so good. Today I spent two hours watching Degrassi (canadian high school drama show that I must admit I have a weakness for), eating ice cream, and drinking diet coke. 8( AND THE TWO HOURS WERE AFTER MIDNIGHT. In fact its coming back on at 2:00.

I just don't feel so good about a lot. Like... what's the point in anything? I mean seriously, I kind of want your guy's opinion. What is the point of it all?

A question for authors: If you're doing an extended collaboration and things start to seem old and all the emotions seem used up and the situations gone old, what do you do to shake it up? Or do you? I'm having problems with one of my own and I don't know, its just making me a little upset.

I shouldn't write emo journals. Its not like anyone sincerely cares. They just read them to be a good friend. -.- That's alright though. I'm asking for two topics of advice.

Updates

*Talking-Pinata — Sat, 08 Aug 2009 11:37:55 PDT

I love putting "Updates" as a title now. So I do a lot.

There isn't MUCH to update on. I've been reading Invisible Man almost non-stop. Page 268 out of 440 so I'm > than halfway through now. That's good... except that I want to finish it today. ... *shrug* I have like... 12 hours still.

Then I have to write my essay and finish my summer math work.

Then I'm ready to go back to school. ... kind of. Man.

Also

*Talking-Pinata — Thu, 06 Aug 2009 23:18:25 PDT

I'd like to thank people as I ALREADY approach my 16k pageview. THANK YOUUU

Almost August 2.0

*Talking-Pinata — Thu, 06 Aug 2009 20:45:46 PDT

Last year sometime I did a journal called "Almost August". Yes, I know its already August. It just feels all cool and tradion-y.

My stomach hurts at the moment, and that is bothersome.

I'm hoping to work out a few kinks with ATN (After the Night) soon, I've been working on it and as I work out problems with ideas, I gain problems with cohesiveness. I have multiple ideas from multiple EARTH CULTURES and I need to figure out a way to make them work.

Phlogiston will be finished someday.

I need to finish reading Invisible Man. It is KILLING me. 440 pages long and I can't read more than 6 pages in 30 minutes. Its not that I read slowly, because normally I REALLY REALLY REALLY don't. But for some reason this book is SO SLOW. I'm on page 104. Not even a fourth of the way through. And I have less than fifteen days to finish that, do my calculus work, and try to complete some summer goals so I don't feel like a failure of personal goals.

I am tired. Spent too much time on wikipedia today reading and reading and learning and learning. Two full notebook pages with scribbled notes EVERYWHERE of ideas. EVERYWHERE. Info. Info. Info. I love it and I hate it. Love it because ideas are filling to the top of my head; hate it because I don't know how to make them work together like I want to. Maybe I'll just write it, let it sound crappy, and then fix it. Or that could be a horrible idea. Tell me what YOU think.

I am tired. Sleep. I await your advice.

American Idol Concert

*Talking-Pinata — Sun, 02 Aug 2009 18:47:57 PDT

Was fab-u-lous!

Music Quirks

*Talking-Pinata — Thu, 30 Jul 2009 17:43:13 PDT

This shall be my rant on music. Its all good if you ignore it, haha, for it will be annoying and overly oppinionated.

Firstly, I don't think people should decide that they like a genre, because again and again I've tried to put myself into have a "favorite" genre, and quite honestly I cannot. On my iPod I have everything from High School Musical (yes, seriously) all the way to the genre entitled "heavy industrial" in which the lyrics are something such as "Scribe the words 'Happy Meal' right across your head". (Yes it is a reference to cannibalism but its also a metaphor for ignorance of society and blah blah blah...). Anyway, I listen to all of it, and if I had to choose between my guilty pleasure of Fall Out Boy and say... the Hush Sound, I couldn't choose. Of course I have my days when I could choose one over another but that's the NEXT topic.

Secondly, love artists-- not genres. Artists are so diverse and wonderful. I'm so in love with Amanda Palmer's music, lyrics, composing that it's not even funny, but all of the other ones that are supposed to be "similar to her" and such cannot compare.

Thirdly, for some reason I cannot stand it when people only WANT one song of an album or from an artist, especially sing the songs they end up wanting are just the singles that are supposedly the "best songs" rather than the artistic ones and such. I know way too many people who are like "I've heard that song and love it!" because I have difficulty taking them seriously as a music lover. Haha. I can, on the other hand, understand having heard all of the songs a bunch and really just don't like all except for one or two. I definitely have those types of albums on my hands.

I won't complain about artists specifically right now because there are too many rants to go with that. Now I shall talk about my favorite artists ever and ones I've just recently liked.

-Amanda Palmer/Dresden Dolls-- Palmer recently went solo from Brian, her previous drummer, and she's doing wonderfully, but considering the albums on iTunes claim that she composed the music, I'm going to qualify them as the same band/person (although WKAP is a wonderfully different album from her 'normal' work.). Often crude, she expresses the dark sides of life with a spirit and fire of irony. Sometimes she is sad and sometimes she scoffs at 'good and evil' and it really depends on her mood. Either way, she does her research and means every word she ever says. Her primary instrument is the piano (other than her voice, I mean).

-Muse -- do I have to say anymore? Really? I know Twilight (poor Muse) made them 'opular' but I've loved them for I don't know how long. Their occasionally spacey music, fantastic vocals, wonderful compositions, and extreme dependency on guitar (well played guitar, at that) makes a thrilling, layered, satisfying, artsy album(s) for all.

-Angelspit (recent one)-- Dark lyrics full of attitude and horrific images (or sounds) plus the beats just makes me want to 'sing' (or talk) along.

-Of Montreal (specifically 'Skeletal Lamping' and recent one as well) -- Lead singer's vocals plus the 'sex funk' vibe really just makes for a great jamming CD. Discovered it from my sister who has been a fan for years and years. Variety of sound but very cohesive.

-Shiny Toy Guns-- while they might be mildly unrefined (in the lacking-something way) and the lyrics leave something to desire occasionally (specifically the choruses a lot of the time), they never fail to suprise and push out some golden sounds. Some of their lyrics (often verses) just really strike a strong creative and emotional note. Harmonies burst at the least expected times and really please the listener. Strong computer vibes add to their style and really polish it off.

-Adam Lambert-- he doesn't even have his own songs out. His voice just makes me want to roll on the floor.

- Birthday Massacre (recent one)-- Heavy guitar, 80's like background tones, and Shiny Toy Gun-ish vocals really make this sounds like one strange/creepy band. While some of their subjects might be mildly cliche, their note progressions can just kill the listener with happiness.

-The Hush Sound-- a more acoustic-y feel really brings out a calmer side in my music taste, although songs like "Love You Much Better" have some cute attitude sides to it. The lyrics are one of their strongest points as they pick some of the most darling yet striking lyrics I've heard in awhile (see "Hurricane" "Wine Red" or "Momentum"), and yet seemingly familiar. Their sound always matches their lyrics wonderfully.

-Demi Lovato- Yes, seriously....

Escape

*Talking-Pinata — Tue, 28 Jul 2009 12:02:48 PDT

You would say anything
You would try anything
To escape your meaningless
And your insignificance
You're uncontrolable
And we are unloveable

And I donÂt want you to think that I care
I never would
I never could
Again

Why canÂt you just love her?
Why be such a monster?
You bully from a distance
Your brain needs some assistance

But IÂll still take all the blame
'Cause you and me are both one and the same
And it's driving me mad
And it's driving me mad
IÂll take back all the things that I said
I didn't realise I was always talking to the living dead

And I donÂt want you to think that I care
I never would
I never could
Again

You would say anything
You would try anything
To escape your meaningless
And your insignificance

I'm fairly sure that in the song above, the artist is berrating themselves for not being able to love, for being a monster.

I will never blame the stars. I will never blame the clouds. I will only blame the moth--me and myself.

Moar Updates Plz

*Talking-Pinata — Sat, 25 Jul 2009 15:31:00 PDT

I just finished checking all of the deviations I'm going to check. Meaning if I haven't checked one you really needed me to, note me or something, because I finally finished checking hundreds of them. *SIGHHH*

So obviously I finished Macbeth, as you could tell by the last one. Now I'm reading The Invisible Man and it's (as any of you who have read it should know) kind of weird. On chapter three now and I'm looking forward to getting some more of that done tonight after I finish putting parenthetical citations inside the Macbeth questions.

I haven't written anything new, but I'll be finishing Phlogiston hopefully before I work on anything else. It isn't a novel, just a long short story, so it shouldn't be too difficult to finish (and I know entirely what happens *phew*).

I bought Coraline on DVD (special edition, of course), but I've been wanting to watch Mirrormask. I promised myself I wouldn't watch it until I finished with all of my summer assignments. It can be my reward, haha.

ENTER 's contest PLEASE. Art and literature accepted. Please.

MEME TIME

Stolen from

*see his journal for the first section, I deleted it because I'm lazy*

Nine things about myself:

1. The main type of earrings I wear currently must look like it was found as a scrap of metal in a mill or industrial plant and then I stick it in my ear. Yes. I use safety pins and blank studs recently.

2. I would do anything to have a dream that I felt and loved. Face fears.

3. I show most of my affection through being mean and caring too much to the point of anger. But I also express anger or annoyance in the same way, so watch out.

4. I'm one of those annoying "SOCIETY WILL DESTROY US" people. Ask me about gender-roles and society and SMASH, you have a year-long rant in your face.

5. I like to think my mind is "liberated" because I see a lot more of society's downfalls than most people.

6. I just want to learn how to have fun in life.

7. The moment I turn 18, I think the first thing that is happening is a large amount of road-trips with my friends.

8. I'm incredibly easily jealous.

9. Like Roger from RENT wishes he could finish one song, I wish I could finish one story. And finish it well.

Eight ways to win my heart:

1. Laughing
2. Tell me a story
3. Accept my form of affection (I'm mean. ;.
4. Have (mostly) similar opinions on certain key topics
5. Have a sense of adventure
6. Don't conform to gender roles--be a PERSON.
7. Make sure your intentions are clear--I will not be the person to approach
8. Love soda as much as I do.

Seven things that cross my mind a lot:

1. I wish I had a dream.
2. I wish I could finish this stupid story.
3. Society. Society. Society. I hate it. I hate it all.
4. There cannot possibly be a person for me.
5. ... I should do work.
6. I need some soda.
7. I want to watch Degrassi.

Six things I do before I fall asleep:

1. Change into pajamas.
2. Feed hamster
3. Get new water
4. Take medicine
5. Turn fan on medium
6. Curl up as close to the wall as possible.

Five places I want to visit:

1. New Zealand
2. England
3. The House on the Rock
4. Rock City
5. Caribbean islands.

Four things I'm wearing right now:

1. Tank top
2. Jeans
3. Necklace chain
4. Skin

Three bands that I listen to often:

1. Muse
2. Shiny Toy Guns

Two things I want to do before I die:

1. Go on a wild and crazy road trip with a bunch of friends.
2. Meet a person that is just for me.

One confession:

1. I am scared into depression that I'll never be free. Free of hoping for a dream. Free of society. Free of a future in a desk-job. What am I good for?

*extra* 2. I don't care about being a hero to someone or inspiring people. Its good... but I'm still trapped.

Macbeth

*Talking-Pinata — Sun, 19 Jul 2009 18:26:27 PDT

Was a dumb loser who had far too high of a word-knowledge for his level of moral-knowledge.

End.

*hates questions she must answer for this*

Losing Waters + HP 6 + Updates

*Talking-Pinata — Thu, 16 Jul 2009 14:41:10 PDT

I went to see Harry Potter 6 with at midnight two nights ago and it was aweeeessommmmeee. In a really teenagers-love-to-makeout kind of way.

I still haven't done my summer reading.

My watchers have apparently ditched me.

End.

CONTEST

*Talking-Pinata — Sun, 12 Jul 2009 19:30:47 PDT

CONTEST THAT YOU SIMPLY MUST ENTER.

ART OR WRITING IS ACCEPTED.

HOSTED BY

[link] THERE ARE THE DETAILS.

ENTER PLEASE.

100 Truths.

*Talking-Pinata — Sat, 11 Jul 2009 20:20:07 PDT

100 Truths

Lasts:
1. Last Beverage?: Orange Kool-Aid.
2. Last Phone Call?:
3. Last Text Message?:
4. Last Song You Listened To?: Well I was just listening to music... but now I cannot remember. I think "Rose" by Perfect Circle.
5. Last Time You Cried?: Yesterday.

Have You Ever:

6. Dated Someone Twice?: No.
7. Been Cheated on?: No.
8. Kissed Someone And Regretted It?: No.
9. Lost someone special?: ... no.
10. Been Depressed?: I'm a pessimist.
11. Been Drunk?: No.

List Three Favorite Colors:

12.: Green
13.: Black
14.: Blue

This Year Have You:

15. Made New Friends?: Yes.

16. Fallen Out Of Love?: Kind of.

17. Laughed until You Cried?: Two days ago at the most recent.

18. Met Someone Who Changed You?: Everyone.

19. Found Out Who Your True Friends Were?: Do I need to know?

20. Found Out Someone Was Talking About You?: Yes.

21. Kissed anyone on your friends list?: No.

22. How Many people on your friends list do you know in real life?: I am so not counting now. At least 5.

23. Do you have any pets?: Two cats and one hamster.

24. What did you do for your last birthday?: Had an extremely artistic party with all of my friends showing off their talents.

25. What time did you wake up today?: 11 something.

27. Name something you CANNOT wait for?: Tuesday.

28. Last time you saw your father?: Hour ago.

29. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life?: Wish I had a purpose that I felt.

30. What are you listening to right now?: "Red Stars" by Birthday Massacre.

31. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom?: I don't believe so.

32. What's getting on your nerves right now?: The fact that I'm too lazy to start my summer reading.

33. What is your real name?: Hear it in the Silence.

34. Zodiac Sign?: Cancer

35. Male or Female?: Male. :handsomeonionplz: ... female. T_T

36. Elementary School?: Your mom.

37. Middle School?: Your llama.

38. High School?: Your face.

39. Hair Color?: Blonde

40. Long or short hair?: short

41. Height?: ... tall?

42. Do you have a crush on someone? Nope.

43. What do you like about yourself? ... *thinks* ... *thinks some more*

44. Piercings?: Two in each ear.

45. Tattoos?: I think it'd be fun to get some tattoos that are a slightly darker color than my skin in funky henna designs somewhere.

46. Righty or Lefty?: Right.

Firsts:

47. Surgery?: Orthodontic surgery.

48. Piercing?: Ears.

49. Tattoo?: None yet.

50. Best Friend?: Its not okay to choose.

51. Sport you joined?: None. I am not athletically inclined.

52. Pet?: Freeway the cat.

53. Vacation you remembered?: I don't recall.

54. Concert?: American Idol last year.

55. Crush?:

56. Alcoholic Drink?: None.

Right Now:

57. Eating?: Nothing
58. Drinking?: Nothing
59. I'm about to...: Go to sleep and dream
60. Listening to...: "Elixir" by Angelspit
61. Waiting for...: Tuesday.

Your Future:

62. Want kids?: No.
63. Want to get married?: Sure.
64. Careers in mind?: ... I wish I had one that I dreamed of.

Which Is Better with the opposite/same sex?

65. Lips or Eyes?: I love these questions. Eyes. They light up the stars.
66. Hugs or Kisses?: Kisses.
67 Shorter or Taller: Taller.
68. Older or Younger?: Older
69. Romantic or Spontanious?: Either. Both. Doesn't matter.
70. Nice stomach or Nice arms?: Stomach.
71. Tattoos or Piercings?: Sure. Um. ... not too much of either I guess, but I can definitely like some. ;D
72. Sensitive or Loud?: Either, Both. Whatev.
74. Trouble Maker or Hesitant?: Don't hesitate. Don't cause too much trouble. Trouble is okay though, just no drugs and no getting into jail. xD

Have You Ever (2):

75. Kissed a stranger?: That'd be cool.

76. Drank hard liquor?: Nope.

77. Lost glasses/contacts?: I don'...

...

*Talking-Pinata — Sat, 11 Jul 2009 20:32:56 PDT

So it's update time, and DON'T I HAVE NEWS. ...

Firstly, I'd like to point out a contest that's going on right now for writers of any kind or for artists. [link] is holding a contest with the theme "one with many faces" and I'm doing winner features as well, so please enter.

Next, hmmm... I'm going to go see the midnight showing of Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince if gets the tickets before they sell out.

...

So yesterday I came home from two days at 's house, and there's all this crap in the garage. Like... boxes and boxes of junk. My dad had just gotten home as well, so I'm standing in the garage, head cocked to the side, staring at this junk. I was wondering if we were having a garage sale. My dad comes up, and is about to pass me and hugs me REAL tight.

"I lost my job."

"What?" I say.

"I lost my job," he repeats, kindly. And although I don't want to say anything I come up with "Oh my god."

I honestly don't know if I'm comfortable with people knowing this, so I might take down the journal in a bit, but I'm putting it up now for sanity's sake.

EDIT: Thank you. I'm about to hit my 15,000th pageview.

Delayed Challenge Winner

*Talking-Pinata — Tue, 07 Jul 2009 11:26:42 PDT

I'm proud to announce that we have two winners that gave two wonderful answers. They were so similar that it would have been unfair to choose one or the other, and their addition sentences that back up their original statement compliment eachother nicely.

The winners are:

-

"Art is an expression of an idea, whether it's something on paper or the art of nature. It can be the way things transform to paint on a canvas. It could be music or dancing or even the art of swordfighting. Even like the rough not-prtty brawling is an art, though a sloppy one XD Art is simply the expression of an idea. Written or painted or tossed or anything!"

and

-

"Art is our energy, our ideas displayed and expressed. It is a dance routine, a poem, a doodle in a textbook, a film, a song.Art is what keeps us human. It is one of the few things that a machine can never replace. Art something that can bring us together or push us apart.
It is our creativity put to use."

I suggest to everyone to check these artists out. They've got the words in their souls and the stars in their eyes. Thank you EVERYONE for their entries.

Missed Crimson Apples

*Talking-Pinata — Fri, 03 Jul 2009 12:56:47 PDT

Update time.

I posted the first part of "Phlogiston", the new story I'm working on. Its not novel length, so I don't refer to the parts as chapters, but it is so far going to be a long short story, so I divided it up a bit so I could put a bit out there more often and so as not to intimidate my readers.

The first portion comes out to be approximately 1,400 words, so I'm going to shoot for a range of about that amount every time, although it'll be a little less or a little more depending on the stopping point.

I bought an ipod touch and I really really like it.

I still haven't started my summer reading yet, but that's simply because I've been lazy. I need to read: Canterbury tales, Beowulf, The Invisible Man (not by Wells), and Macbeth.

Dreaming in Vivid Colors

*Talking-Pinata — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 08:24:49 PDT

Hey, I just thought I'd update, and I think this journal is going to be an eventfully important one.

Firstly, my birthday came and passed. It was an awesome one, and I just want to thank everyone for all the birthday wishes that were sent my way.

Next, I'd like to welcome SEVERAL people I know from "real-life" to my page, but I won't be naming these people (there are, in fact, several) because I'm going to give out a warning to all of them: I won't tone down what I'm saying here just because you're reading it. I've worked far too long on this one account to ditch it because I'm scared of what people will think. If you don't agree with my views, I URGE you to tell me (unless there is a disclaimer on the piece or journal) and we can have a FRIENDLY argument, but I also beg you to never think less of me or avoid me simply because of these views. I support ALL views. Thank you, all of you people. I don't like losing friends just because they're scared of me.

I had a dream last night, and it was weird.

Thanks.

Sobering the Moonlight

*Talking-Pinata — Thu, 25 Jun 2009 12:16:39 PDT

I've been away for the past two days looking at a few colleges. Saw two I liked and one I really wasn't all too interested, but I'm still not very confident about any of them. I suppose I'm picky...

I was writing something earlier today but as the day progressed I felt worse and worse so now I'm probably going to need to wait until next month or something until I feel like writing again. Sorry. I'm kind of somber feeling right now.

Not much to report; my time is simply a waste of it.

Who's so phoney and always surrounded
Stop your screaming, no one can hear
All the scars on your skin, post no bills

Who you were
Was so beautiful
Remember who... who you were

Hide from the mirror, the cracks and the memories
Hide from your family, they won't know you now
For all the holes in our souls host no thrills

Who you were
Was so beautiful
Memories who... who you were

Nom nom nom

*Talking-Pinata — Sun, 21 Jun 2009 09:29:49 PDT

I have nothing to do so I shall make a journal.

My birthday is this upcoming Sunday (not 21st, but 28th) and I'll finally be sixteen, despite the fact that I always change the listing of my age on here by my half birthday in December.

I've finished reading "The Adventures of Tom Sawyer" and now I'm reading "The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn" and I actually find it strange how much I enjoy them. I dunno... I like all the little adventures that are combined into a book full of character development, humor, and insight. Its cool, but I honestly didn't think that was really much of my genre.

I went on vacation for two days to a big city and I saw some really neat scenes that I think I want to write about, but I haven't really been able to get anything written-written, you know?

...

um.

That's all. *runs*

Trapped In House

*Talking-Pinata — Wed, 10 Jun 2009 20:10:12 PDT

Well... no one is home any day this week.

I can't get to sleep so I go to bed at 3:00AM or so and then I wake up at 10:00 only to fall back asleep and wake up at 12:30 in a dazed panic at oversleeping. Then I watch movies and play Wii because I have nothing better to do (except role-play *happy sigh*). And the cycle repeats.

Today I cleaned the dining room because I decided that I needed to do something other than watch television or play around on the computer. Then I watched Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian. I have to admit that it bothers me when the trees come back to life and there's only like... four on the battle field and the trees in the background aren't movie. You'd think somebody would have taken that into consideration and made them at least DANCE a little. Oh well...

I should be reading; I should be writing--its summer, and that's what I promised to do. Its the same thing that happened last summer, only at least I've realized it by the time the second week began rather than at the end. Maybe I can change my lazy ways...

Did anyone hear about the Rolling Stone interview with Adam Lambert? He admitted he was gay (oh big suprise! (not.)) and said some really amazing things, I thought. And the cover of that magazine is pretty nice looking too (yum). Luckily, my family already gets the magazine and they've agreed to let me keep it. I've had two subsequent dreams about meeting him just as soon as I stopped listening to his songs everyday. I can't remember the second one at all, but I know it happened.

I've got a story under process, but it'll take awhile to complete, because firstly, I think it might be long and secondly, it makes no sense what so ever.

I almost have 14,000 pageviews and I'm just going to keep thanking you guys for every 1,000 I get, because I think its due to the watchers.

Take care.