http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:TenebrousLyke&section=today deviantART RSS for by:TenebrousLyke en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Wed, 25 Nov 2009 04:19:10 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://TenebrousLyke.deviantart.com/journal/26273048/ http://TenebrousLyke.deviantart.com/journal/26273048/ Thu, 30 Jul 2009 09:55:00 PDT

You do? Good (:

So, I spent a few hours yesterday making dA accounts for icons that when put together make a huge green smiley face, but... they banned my IP address from making any more accounts... ... ):

Anyone know how long the bans last?

Anyway, I got about half-way finished and it was like "NO!" And I was like "WTF??" And it was like "severe abuse" and I was like "DAMMIT!!! :facedesk:"

Sooooo... I don't know how I'm going to finish it...

Ooh! Wait a minute! *Runs off* (Taking not of the time: 11:30 exactly.) (Taking not of time: 11:42.) *Trudges back...* Dammit... That won't work... )):



If you would like to help, comment or note me and I'll give you a name and a password to create (: You don't have to use a real email address 'cause I don't care about verifying them... I think I stopped caring around the... twelfth one... /:

Any and all help will be greatly appreciated ^___^ 'Cause then everyone will have a nice big green smiley face to put places on dA (:


Muchos, muchos gracias ^__^


Love and rockets,



]]> ~TenebrousLyke http://TenebrousLyke.deviantart.com/journal/25839290/ http://TenebrousLyke.deviantart.com/journal/25839290/ Thu, 09 Jul 2009 13:07:30 PDT
as "where the sun don't shine"?

The sun doesn't shine on dark places.

When you moon someone, you flash them your ass,

so your privates are the dark side of the moon.





Note: There's not an emoticon for being sick,
so I picked depression because it's cute ^^

]]> ~TenebrousLyke http://TenebrousLyke.deviantart.com/journal/25724469/ http://TenebrousLyke.deviantart.com/journal/25724469/ Fri, 03 Jul 2009 21:32:57 PDT

Quizzieschmizzie:

[* dammit...] I am shorter than 5'4.
[*] I think I'm ugly sometimes.
[*] I have many scars.
[ ] I tan easily.
[*] I wish my hair was a different color.
[*] I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color.
[ ] I have a tattoo.
[*] I am self-conscious about my appearance.
[*] I have/I've had braces.
[*] I wear glasses.
[That's a tough decision... I really don't know.] I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free.
[*] I've been told I'm attractive by a complete stranger.
[*] I have more than 2 piercings.
[ ] I have piercings in places besides my ears.
[*] I've got one Scar.


Family/Home Life
[*] I've sworn at my parents.
[*] I've run away from home. (or tried)
[ ] I've been kicked out of the house.
[ ] My biological parents are together.
[ ] I have a sibling less than one year old.
[*] I want to have kids someday.
[ ] I've had children.
[ ] I've lost a child.
[Eh, kinda, but not really. *] Have a spoilt sibling


School/Work
[*] I'm in school.
[ ] I have a job.
[*] I've fallen asleep at work/school.
[ ] I almost always do my homework.
[*] I've missed a week or more of school.
[ ] I've been on the Honor Roll within the last 2 years.
[ ] I failed more than 1 class last year.
[*] I've stolen something from my job.
[ ] I've been fired.
[ ] Do Home Schooling.


Embarrassment
[I use it sarcasticly and I sign it in my sign language class, but that's it.] I've slipped out a "lol" in a spoken conversation.
[ ] Disney movies still make me cry.
[*] I've peed from laughing. (Now that's embarassing)
[*] I've snorted while laughing.
[*] I've laughed so hard, I cried.
[*] I've glued my hand to something.
[ ] I've had my pants rip in public
[*] I've fallen down on my face


Health
[ ] I was born with a disease/impairment.
[ ] I've gotten stitches/staples.
[ ] I've broken a bone.
[ ] I've had my tonsils removed.
[ ] I've sat in a doctors office/emergency room with a friend.
[ ] I've had my wisdom teeth removed.
[ ] I had a serious surgery.
[*] I've had chicken pox.


Traveling
[*] I've driven over 200 miles in one day.
[*] I've been on a plane.
[ ] I've been to Canada.
[ ] I've been to Mexico.
[ ] I've been to Niagara Falls.
[ ] I've been to Japan.
[ ] I've celebrated Mardi Gras in New Orleans.
[ ] I've been to Europe.
[ ] I've been to Africa.
[ ] I've been out of my home country.
[ ] I've Been in Thailand
[ ] I've been in Phillipines


Experiences
[*] I've gotten lost in my city.
[*] I've seen a shooting star.
[*] I've wished on a shooting star.
[ ] I've seen a meteor shower.
[*] I've gone out in public in my pajamas
[*] I've pushed all the buttons on an elevator
[*] I've kicked a guy where it hurts.
[*] I've been to a casino.
[ ] I've been bungee-jumping/skydiving. (I would do it again too!)
[ ] I've gone skinny dipping.
[*] I've played spin the bottle.
[ ] I've drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour.
[*] I've crashed a car.
[ ] I've been Skiing
[*] I've been in a play.
[ ] I've met someone in person from myspace.
[*] I've caught a snowflake on my tongue.
[ ] I've seen the Northern lights.
[*] I've sat on a roof top at night.
[ ] I've played chicken.
[*] I've played a prank on someone.
[*] I've ridden in a taxi.
[***] I've seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
[*] I've eaten sushi.
[ ] I've been snowboarding.


Relationships
[ ] I'm single.
[* ^^] I'm in a relationship.
[ ] I'm engaged.
[ ] I'm married.
[Kind of, yes. *] I've gone on a blind date.
[ ] I've been the dumpee more than the dumper.
[*] I miss someone right now.
[*] I have a fear of abandonment.
[ ] I've gotten divorced.
[*] I've had feelings for someone who didn't have them back.
[ ] I've told someone I didn't love them when I did.
[ ] I've kept something from a past relationship.
[*] Kissed a guy


Sexuality
[*] I've had a crush on someone of the same sex.
[*] I've had a crush on a teacher.
[*] I am a cuddler.
[ ] I've been kissed in the rain.
[*] I've hugged a stranger.
[*] I have kissed a stranger


Honesty/Crime
[*] I've done something I promised someone else I wouldn't.
[*] I've done something I promised myself I wouldn't.
[*] I've snuck out of my house.
[I don't think so...] I have lied to my parents about whe... ]]> ~TenebrousLyke http://TenebrousLyke.deviantart.com/journal/25514915/ http://TenebrousLyke.deviantart.com/journal/25514915/ Wed, 24 Jun 2009 10:55:06 PDT
When you finish a theme, send me a note titled "100 Theme Challenge #" and leave a link to your peice, so I can put in my journal (:


Rules: Or rather Guidlines:

You can do them in whatever order.

You may use whatever style of art you wish (: This means you could write a poem for number 6 and take a photograph for number 83 (: It doesn't matter to me (:

DO NO STEAL. Make your own.


Hokay, here's the list:

1. Appear
2. Listen to me
3. Anesthetic
4. Bus stop
5. Love at first sight
6. Pixy Stix
7. War Paint
8. Hamburger
9. Red and dust
10. Sewing needles
11. Privacy, please
12. Flash
13. Paisley
14. Whine
15. Wine
16. Y-5832
17. Chromosome
18. Rest in peices
19. Idiot box
20. Ladies
21. This is how it all began
22. Face-melting power
23. Pockets and pockets
24. Where did the sun go?
25. Nothing
26. Cake
27. Garbage bag and a handgun
28. Memory card
29. Grumble
30. Toilet Paper
31. "Free Kittens"
32. Deletion
33. The hour of night
34. The milk man
35. A collection
36. Return
37. A wee, little smile
38. Good and round
39. Paint chip
40. Hunter
41. Guarding the way home
42. Pry
43. Intense
44. Deck of cards
45. Requiem
46. 7lbs 2oz
47. Insane
48. Capitol
49. Plug
50. Keys
51. Line
52. High
53. Blue secretion
54. Epitaph
55. Lemons
56. In reverence of the lost
57. Stand
58. The birds and the bees
59. World War III
60. Splatter
61. Sweat
62. Obedience
63. Climbing
64. Scissors
65. See the beauty of the damned?
66. Faded
67. Crispy
68. Speaker
69. Peanut butter and KY jelly
70. Finale
71. Stranger
72. "You make me smile"
73. Branded
74. The life I was living
75. Chess
76. Swimmimg pool
77. Lavender
78. Three miles
79. Included
80. Truck
81. Fire fight
82. Lement
83. Hammered and nailed
84. Innuendo
85. Whispers of dark
86. Board
87. Light
88. Suicidal blonde
89. Bug
90. Tube
91.
92. Welcome
93. Drive with abandon
94. Inside
95. You're alive
96. Spilling forth from within
97. Lick
98. First
99. Rule
100. Walk away


If, for whatever reason, you feel you cannot complete a theme, here is a list of ten substitutional themes:

X. In the end
X. Hole
X. Whole
X. Measurement
X. Lighter
X. Bubble(s)
X. Present
X. Bottle
X. "Found"
X. Exclamation



Have fun, and good luck! ^^

]]> ~TenebrousLyke http://TenebrousLyke.deviantart.com/journal/25279004/ http://TenebrousLyke.deviantart.com/journal/25279004/ Fri, 12 Jun 2009 18:46:35 PDT [link]

My Twitter is: [link]

My brand new Plurk is: [link]

Feel free to add me on any of there (:

If you don't have one, feel free to get one (:

I am brand new to Plurk, so I'm still trying to figure it out, lol (:

]]> ~TenebrousLyke http://TenebrousLyke.deviantart.com/journal/25090944/ http://TenebrousLyke.deviantart.com/journal/25090944/ Tue, 02 Jun 2009 15:02:10 PDT


And then I started thinking about freezing time... If you were to freeze time, the light waves would stop and you wouldn't be able to see anything... Unless you were moving super fast... Maybe... And that might distort everything... I think...



And then I started thinking about popsicles 'cause you freeze those, too ^^ Mmmm, popsicles ^^



Eh, I could be entirely wrong about everything I just said, which is a definite possiblity considering I'm only a senior in high school, a C student generally, and I lack a great undertanding of astrophysics, regular physics, the time-space continuum, and all that fancy jazz... But I'm fairly certain I'm not wrong about the popsicles... It's a pretty widely accepted fact that most people freeze popsicles before eating them...



Eh, I'll just let that bake your noodles for a bit (:



Or perhaps I'll let the freeze your noodles for a bit, haha (: ... BRAIN FREEZE!!!...



Hokay, have a marvelous day, all you deviants who took precious time out of your busy day to read my crackpot ramblings! ^^

Sincerely,

]]> ~TenebrousLyke http://TenebrousLyke.deviantart.com/journal/24852556/ http://TenebrousLyke.deviantart.com/journal/24852556/ Wed, 20 May 2009 07:55:11 PDT
So, I'm readin 'Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?', and the introduction written by Roger Zelazny begins with three and a half ways to look at a trash compactor repairman. He gave up... I would type the introduction here, but i'm too lazy and my fingers keep tripping over themselves and I'm having trouble getting the words to form right on the computer... I thought it would be fun to play! (: Here are my thirteen ways to look at a trash compactor repairman:

1) Once there was a man who repaired trash compactors because he needed an exorbitant amount of money to pay off the hitman he was planning to hire to kill his drug-addicted wife that was bleeding his bank account dry and sucking out his very soul with her shrill and hurtful words.

2) Once there was a man who invited himself into strangers’ homes while he was sleeping and repaired their trash compactors. He did so because when he was young, his father abused him and he found that repairing household appliances was the only way to cope with his terrible home life, but he now has to work in a cramped office that smells of sweat and old fish fourteen hours a day, so he has no time to work on the trash compactors except when he’s sleeping.

3) Once there was a trash compactor repairman who desperately needed to get away from the life he so deeply abhorred. He spent so much time trying to save up for his eventual escape that he worked himself to death. After he died, his three greedy children fought over his accumulated fortune ‘til the middle child went insane and shot and killed his siblings. He is now in prison, and the trash compactor repairman’s fortune was used to buy a shiny, red car for his lawyer.

4) Once there was a trash compactor repairman who repaired trash compactors because he got some sort of sick sexual pleasure from the sound of whirring gears and crushing garbage. He quite often beat off to the newly repaired machines… One day he went a bit far and actually attempted to copulate with the contraption… The woman whose trash compactor he was repairing called the police… He spent his last days in the mental institution repairing and disrepairing the same trash compactor day after day, and beating off to it…

5) Once there was a trash compactor repairwoman who repaired trash compactors because she had four illegitimate children and there was no father figure to support them, so she needed to or else the CPS people would steal them away from her. She loved her children with all of her heart and she couldn’t bear to be without them, even if it did mean working a shit job for fifteen hours a day, six days a week for hardly any pay at all. She did regret her relations with the men who fathered her kids, but she never regarded her kids as “mistakes,” merely “happy accidents.”

6) Once there was a trash compactor repairdog who was a super genius compared to all the other dogs in the world. (How many dogs you know can repair a trash compactor?)

7) Once there was a trash compactor repairman who repaired trash compactors because he liked to in a completely non-sexual way. He worked until he was 83 years old, and then he retired. He did at the age of 97. He was a very happy man.

8) Once there was a man who repaired trash compactors for his father’s trash compactor company. He didn’t care if his job was awful and paid little because he had the most amazing woman in his grasp. They were scheduled to get married in three months time.
The wedding was beautiful, and they lived happily ever after.

9) Once there was a man who repaired trash compactors for his father’s trash compactor company. He didn’t care if his job was awful and paid little because he had the most amazing woman in his grasp. They were scheduled to get married in three months time. He absolutely adored her! But one day he came home early from work to surprise her with a nice dinner at one of the nicer restaurants in town, the best one he could afford, and he walked in on her and another man copulating in their bedroom. He left her without another word and moved to another city where he never again laid a finger on a trash compactor. He eventually came out as homosexual and became an avid gay rights activist. He also never spoke to his father again.

10) Once there was a trash compactor repairman who came from a long line of trash compactor repairmen. His great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great grand father had been George Washington’s own personal trash compactor repairman. He was also a lover of cats.

11) Once there was a man who did not repair trash compactors, but he disassembled them and turned them into modern art. His most famous piece was his fifteenth trash compactor sculpture and he created it to look like Mother Teresa.

12) Once th... ]]> ~TenebrousLyke http://TenebrousLyke.deviantart.com/journal/24512242/ http://TenebrousLyke.deviantart.com/journal/24512242/ Thu, 30 Apr 2009 11:24:18 PDT

FACE MELTING POWER!!1!


^^


Teehee, that is all (: Enjoy your day and your... non-face melting powers!!! Lol, you may envy me and *my* supreme face melting powers!!@!

]]> ~TenebrousLyke http://TenebrousLyke.deviantart.com/journal/20498517/ http://TenebrousLyke.deviantart.com/journal/20498517/ Sun, 14 Sep 2008 23:41:47 PDT [link] and I came across this:

Me(works at a zoo): *feeds chickens*

Older man: “Oh, you’re a bus stop!”

Me: “Huh?”

Older man: “A bus stop! You’re a bus stop, aren’t you?”

Me: “?”

Woman: “No, she’s not a bus stop.”

Older man: “…oh.”

Me: *completely at a loss*


I think it's HIGH-larious. Silly old people ^_^


Love and rockets,
Spike x

]]> ~TenebrousLyke http://TenebrousLyke.deviantart.com/journal/19858089/ http://TenebrousLyke.deviantart.com/journal/19858089/ Sat, 09 Aug 2008 07:18:45 PDT [*] You drink a lot of tea.
[ ] You know what a brolly is.
[ ] Deal or No Deal has taken over your life.
[ ] You wanted Ben to win X Factor.
[*] You use the word "bugger" or the phrase "bloody hell."
[*] Fish and Chips are yummy.
[ ] You can eat a Full English Breakfast.
[ ] You dislike emos almost as much as you dislike chavs.
[ ] Its football...not soccer.
Total: 3


Australian
[ ] you wear flip flops all year.
[ ] You call flip flops "thongs", not flip flops.
[ ] You love a backyard Barbie.
[*] You know a Barbie is not a doll.
[ ] You love the beach.
[ ] Sometimes you swear without realizing.
[ ] You're a sports fanatic.
[ ] You are tanned.
[ ] You're a bit of a bogan.
[ ] You have an Australian something.
Total: 1

Italian
[ ] The Sopranos is a great show.
[ ] Your last name ends in a vowel.
[*] Your grandmother makes her own sauces.
[*] You know how a real meatball tastes.
[ ] You know Italian songs.
[ ] You have dark hair and dark eye color.
[ ] You speak some Italian.
[*] You are under 5'10".
[ ] You know what an Italian horn is.
[*!!!] Pizza/spaghetti is the best food in the world!
[*] You talk with your hands.
Total: 5

Spanish
[ ] You say member instead of Remember.
[*] You speak Spanish or some.
[*] You like tacos.
[ ] YoU TyPe lIkE ThIs On Da CoMpUtEr. (LOL RACIST?)
[ ] You are dark skinned.
[*] You know what a Puta is.
[*] You talk fast occasionally.
[I don't think this counts, but *] You have had highlights or have dyed your hair.
[*] You know what platanos are.
Total: 6

Russian
[ ] You say villain as: vee-lon
[*] You get short tempered.
[ ] You know of somebody named Natasha.
[*] You get cold easily.
[*] Rain is fun for you.
[ ] You get into contests all the time
[*] You can easily make do with the cold weather.
total: 4

Irish
[ ] You think beer is the best.
[*] You have a bad temper.
[ ] Your last name starts with a Mc, Murph, O', Fitz or ends with a ley, on, un, an, in, ry, ly, y or L.
[*] You have blue or green eyes.
[*] You like the color green.
[ ] You have been to a St. Patty’s day party.
[*] You have a family member from Ireland.
[*-ish] You have red hair.
[ ] You have/had freckles.
[*] your family get together always include drinking and singing.
Total: 6

African American.....Black
[Haha, nukka ^_^ I make fun of people when I say nukka. I guess that's a *] You say nigga/nukka casually.
[ ] You have nappy hair.
[*] You like rap.
[*] You know how to shoot a gun.
[Rascist? No. Dumbass? Yes.] You think President George Walker Bush is racist.
[*, but not fried.] You like chicken.
[*] You like watermelon.
[ ] You can dance.
[ ] You can 'sing' gospel.
Total: 4

Asian
[ ] You have slanty/small eyes.
[*] You like rice a lot.
[ ] You are good at math.
[ ] You have played the piano.
[ ] You have family from Asia.
[*] You laugh sometimes covering your mouth.
[ ] Most people think you're Chinese.
[ ] You call hurricanes typhoons.
[ ] You go to Baulko.
Total: 2

German
[*!!!] You like bread.
[*!!!] You think German Chocolate is good.
[I know a few words... Shall I count that? Yes, I sahll. *] You speak some German.
[*] You know what Schnitzel is.
[*] You hate it when stupid people call you.
[*] You went to Pre-school.
[ ] You're over 5'7''
Total: 6

Canadian
[I'ts fun to watc people get hurt ( : *] You like/play/played hockey.
[ ] You love beer.
[*] You say eh.
[ ] You know what poutine is.
[ ] You speak some French.
[ ] You love Tim Horton's.
[ ] At one point you lived in a farm house.
[ ]You watch/watched degrassi.
Total: 2

American
[Not foreigners. Immigrants. But only the illegal ones...] You hate foreigners.
[ ] You hate non - Christians.
[*] You're lazy.
[Hahaha!] You have had an abortion.
[*] But love the penalty.
[ ] You don't read.
[*...] You shop at Wal-Mart.
[ ] You think this survey is rather biased.
Total: 3

Belgian:
[*] you grow some small vegetables in the yard. (Used to)
[*] you like french fries.
[*] you think Belgian chocolate rules.
[ ] you know that the 'official best beer in the world' is Belgian.
[ ] you speak both Dutch and French
[*] you like Belgian waffles.
[ ] you call a pub or bar a café.
[ ] you fully realize and acknowledge that your football team sucks. (lolbears)
[ ] you drive/own a French or German car.
[*] you have a lot of comments on your govern... ]]> ~TenebrousLyke http://TenebrousLyke.deviantart.com/journal/19554988/ http://TenebrousLyke.deviantart.com/journal/19554988/ Wed, 23 Jul 2008 12:24:33 PDT
]]> ~TenebrousLyke http://TenebrousLyke.deviantart.com/journal/18861238/ http://TenebrousLyke.deviantart.com/journal/18861238/ Sun, 15 Jun 2008 19:23:35 PDT

Next weekend, most likely.


Happy Fathers' day, btw.

]]> ~TenebrousLyke http://TenebrousLyke.deviantart.com/journal/17913996/ http://TenebrousLyke.deviantart.com/journal/17913996/ Fri, 18 Apr 2008 15:26:29 PDT As the light dies horribly
On a fire escape you walk
All rare and resolved to drop

And when they find you, Odalisque
They will rend you terribly
Stitch from stitch 'til all
Your linen limbs will fall

Lazy lady had a baby girl
And a sweet sound it made
Raised on pradies, peanut shells and dirt
In a railroad cul-de-sac

And what do we do with ten baby shoes
A kit bag full of marbles and a broken billiard cue?
What do we do?
What do we do?

Fifteen stitches will mend those britches right
And then rip them down again
Sapling switches will rend those rags, alright
What a sweet sound it makes

And what do we do with ten dirty Jews
A thirty-ought full of rock salt and a warm afternoon?
What do we do?
What do we do?

Lay your belly under mine
Naked under me, under me
Such a filthy dimming shine
The way you kick and scream, kick and scream

And what do we with ten baby shoes
A kit bag full of marbles and broken billiard cue?
What do we do?
What do we do?

Lazy lady had a baby girl
And a sweet sound it made

-- The Decemberist



Ok, I'm sorry I haven't been on in an -uber- long time, I've been without an internet connection.

-NEWS-
Hmmm.... I can't think of anything too exciting except I won state at an art contest in houston. I have yet to post the winning peice... which I did -last- year...



Hell, I need a life. That's all my news. *Sigh*





Love and rockets,


]]> ~TenebrousLyke http://TenebrousLyke.deviantart.com/journal/16320054/ http://TenebrousLyke.deviantart.com/journal/16320054/ Tue, 08 Jan 2008 18:11:20 PST
Yoshi, I will have that poem written by 23:59 thursday.

I may not be able to get on the internet for a while for a few days 'cause our telefono(we have dial-up...) may be turned off. Oh! That reminds me! My cellular device is off now... so that means now contact to the outside world! No!!!! *Goes ballistic*

So... Have fun without me! But not too much fun...

Sleep well,



]]> ~TenebrousLyke http://TenebrousLyke.deviantart.com/journal/15942734/ http://TenebrousLyke.deviantart.com/journal/15942734/ Sat, 15 Dec 2007 10:00:54 PST


The pet store was selling them for five cents a piece.
I thought this was odd since they were normally a couple thousand. I decided not to look a gift horse in the mouth so I bought 200 of them. I like monkeys.

I took my 200 monkeys home. I have a big car. I let one of them drive. His name was Sigmund. He was retarded. In fact, none of them were really bright. They kept punching themselves in the genitals. I laughed. They punched me in the genitals. I stopped laughing.

I herded them into my room. They didn't adapt very well to their new environment. They would screech and hurl themselves off the couch at high speeds and slam into the wall. Although humorous at first, the spectacle lost its novelty halfway into it's third hour. Two hours later I found out why all the monkeys were so inexpensive; they all died. No apparent reason. They all just sort of dropped dead. Kinda like when you buy a goldfish and it dies five hours later. God damn cheap monkeys.

I didn't know what to do. There were 200 dead monkeys lying all over my room; on the bed, in the dresser, hanging from my bookcase. It looked like I had 200 throw rugs. I tried to flush one down the toilet. It didn't work. It got stuck. Then I had one dead, wet monkey and one hundred ninety-nine dead, dry monkeys.

I tried to pretend that they were just stuffed animals. That worked for a while, that is until they began to decompose. It started to smell real bad. I had to pee but there was a dead monkey in my toilet and I didn't want to call a plumber. I was embarrassed. I tried to slow down the decomposition by freezing them. Unfortuantely there was only enough room for two at a time, so I had to change them every 30 seconds. I also had to eat all the food in the freezer so it didn't go bad.

I tried to burn them, but little did I know that my bed was flammable. I had to extinguish the fire. Then I had one dead, wet monkey in my toilet, two dead, frozen monkeys in my freezer, and one hundred ninety-seven dead, charred monkeys in a pile on my bed.

The odor wasn't improving. I became agitated at my inability to dispose of the dead monkeys and I really had to use the bathroom. So I went and severely beat one of the monkeys. I felt better.

I tried throwing them away but the garbage man said the city was not allowed to dispose of charred primates. I told him I had a wet one. He couldn't take it either. I didn't bother asking about the frozen ones.

I finally arrived at a solution. I gave them out as Christmas gifts. My friends didn't quite know what to say. They pretended to like them, but I could tell they were lying. Ingrates. So I punched them in the genitals.

I like monkeys.

]]> ~TenebrousLyke