http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:The-Forbidden-Angel&section=today deviantART RSS for by:The-Forbidden-Angel en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Thu, 31 Dec 2009 01:32:51 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://The-Forbidden-Angel.deviantart.com/journal/25161604/ http://The-Forbidden-Angel.deviantart.com/journal/25161604/ Sat, 06 Jun 2009 12:43:23 PDT
Been so busy though life wise. I'm working a lot of hours, almost 20 full hours a week. Plus I have had tons of homework and projects. I haevn't been drawing, but I'll get back into it this summer.



-Nhari

]]> ~The-Forbidden-Angel http://The-Forbidden-Angel.deviantart.com/journal/23112084/ http://The-Forbidden-Angel.deviantart.com/journal/23112084/ Mon, 09 Feb 2009 21:41:39 PST
Rules:

1.List facts for 16 different people you want to say but will never tell them out loud.
2. Don't reveal who they are.
3. You can comment but don't answer to guesses. The idea is that no one knows who the facts are indicated to.
4. Tag five or more people.

1. When I'm with you, I feel as though sometimes you are else where. I know you are right beside me, but when I look into those orbs of yours... you are in a whole other world. Sometimes I wonder what you could possibly be thinking, or... what you want at that moment. It makes it hard to guess what to do next, but I do my best. And I always will.
(6L)

2. I'm unsure I like the new you. I remember all those years ago we were so close, unseperable. But now you are all over the place and I wonder if you sometimes even see me. You used to notice at school when I was about to cry, and you'd let me cling. If I was crying, you would never see, or even try to notice. It hurts when I know we used to be close enough that when I called you, you'd stay on the phone until 1 to protect me.
(5S)

3. You are like my new brother. There when I need you, even though I'm incredibly shy to ask anything from you. I hope that you can stand my sometimes childish behavior, or can see past it. I'm sure that next year we'll be even closer, and I'm glad to know that there is more then just my "twin", who can be my brother; Although I still don't trust the fact you say my girlfriend's name in your sleep...
(3S)

4. You are really funny, but also very... out there. I can't ever read you which makes me sometimes worried. I mean, I trust you and I know you'll help me out, but the fact that you are so unreadable is different to me. I'm sure next year that I'll figure you out and I'll have you down like clockwork. But until then, I'm just very unsure.
(4Z)

5. You mean the world to me. I just wish that we could still hang out like we used to. I'm so glad that you talked me that day at Digipen. I mean, if you hadn't I would have been very lonely... and I would most likely still be cutting. You've stopped me from hurting myself, made me see that maybe on occasion I can buy myself something small and nice, and make me see that I need to calm down at certain things. I've grown alot, and I owe at least half of it to you. You're like my twin sister, and I'm sad we barely talk anymore... maybe someday we will again.
(6R)

6. I hurt you. I tore appart something precious and we'll never get it back. Without you, I would have had a boring life while we were together. I just wish that you'll understand why I suddenly went with another after the huge blow up with your mom. If your mom hadn't blown up, I'd still be with you making tons of memories. Or maybe not, I'm not sure. All I know is that, you've moved on and I'm glad. I'm glad we both have, and I thank you for what memories you did give me.
(5C)

Yup, just 6 people... I know I'm very outgoing... XD well more like, those I feel the need to write about, are those so close(or getting very close to me) are the ones I have secrets for. Maybe I shoul dhave more, but right now... they help me the most in life. And I'm very grateful.

-Nhari

----------

Best friend:


Girlfriend:

]]> ~The-Forbidden-Angel http://The-Forbidden-Angel.deviantart.com/journal/22740874/ http://The-Forbidden-Angel.deviantart.com/journal/22740874/ Thu, 22 Jan 2009 16:41:32 PST
I'm currently working on this random picture I drew at the UW when I was hanging out with my girlfriend and a few others of our friends! I should have it colored and finished either by late tonight, or sometime tomorrow I hope.

So far, my life has gone pretty good... well actually pretty freakin' good to be honest.

Just thought I should update my old journal for once... oh and I'll be drawing Trijon (since he won my poll in the previous journal) in a christmas outfit!

Hope you all are having a great time!

-Nhari

----------

Best friend:


Girlfriend:

]]> ~The-Forbidden-Angel http://The-Forbidden-Angel.deviantart.com/journal/22474290/ http://The-Forbidden-Angel.deviantart.com/journal/22474290/ Thu, 08 Jan 2009 16:54:15 PST
Besides that, I've had a fairly great year and I think this one will be even better...although this saturday will be horrible! It's dooms day as it's usual name is; yup my birthday. I'm for once really looking forward to it, since I'll be going out with possibly a few friends, my girlfriend, and even my mom. It'll be interesting how it all plays out in the end, but maybe it won't be to bad. (Last year's was rather nice too... thank goodness my girlfriend and best friend's care enough to make them speical).

I'm still working and going to high school, trying my hardest in order to get into Digipen next winter. I'm looking forward to switching classes and having some digital art ones, along with art ones in general. I still believe somewhat that art classes is cheating in the art world, but I really want to prove to Digipen that I'm fit to be there! Other then that, nothing else much happens.

Let's see, if anyone is curious I got a Wii for christmas along with 8 games for it (I think 9...), random gifts that were kick ass (Like my new dragon blue sweatshirt and blue opal ring), and even my fishies got presents! Now they are in 'Greece ruin' theme tank and it's so cute to watch them swim around.

Not sure what else to talk about, so I'll just end this... sometime this weekend I'll be drawing Trijon in a sexy christmas outfit since he won my character voting contest, along with two other pictures of new characters of mine! Hope everyone have a lovely christmas and new years!

~The blue hued angel

----------

Best friend:


Girlfriend:

]]> ~The-Forbidden-Angel http://The-Forbidden-Angel.deviantart.com/journal/21767677/ http://The-Forbidden-Angel.deviantart.com/journal/21767677/ Mon, 01 Dec 2008 14:18:04 PST
My orginal characters are: (Only a select few have drawings...) (I have like over 3000 characters who are not drawn...) (Some of these drawings are VERY old so my apologies)

(( Current up to date voting: ))

Winner _so far_: Trijon with 2 votes

Toast: 0
Target: 1
Trijon: 2
Morshi: 0
Irenn: 0
Saki: 0
Shadow: 0
Sakura: 0
Crona: 0
Snux: 0
Utsusu: 1

Toast: [link] , [link] , [link] , [link]

Target: [link]

Trijon: [link] , [link] , [link]

Morshi: [link]

Irenn: [link]

Saki: [link]

Shadow (NO NOT THE ONE FROM SONIC): -No picture

Sakura: [link]

Crona: [link]

Snux: [link]

Utsusu: [link]

That is all of the ones I used the most often... so even if you don't know me, please post some kind of vote in my comments here! Thanks!

~Nhari

P.S. I am open for any sort of requests you might have...!

]]> ~The-Forbidden-Angel http://The-Forbidden-Angel.deviantart.com/journal/21194857/ http://The-Forbidden-Angel.deviantart.com/journal/21194857/ Mon, 27 Oct 2008 22:11:58 PDT
01. Is your hair wet?
Yeah... it's almost dry
02. Is your phone right by you?
Usually is
03. Do you miss someone?
...Yes
04. Are you wearing chapstick?
Was earlier... not now
05. Are you tired?
Nope it's nighttime
06. Are you excited?
I should be... but I'm not.
07. Are you watching tv?
Nope, dislike TV greatly
08. Are you wearing your pajamas?
Yeah, course

HAVE YOU

01. Recently done anything to regret?
Oh yes. A lot.
02. Ever stuck gum under a desk?
When I was little sure...
03. Ever tripped over your own feet?
Yeah it's why I'm wearing a walking cast

TODAY

01. Have you sworn?
Each day, each hour
02. Have you yelled at someone?
Technically...
03. Have you gotten mad at someone?
Technically
04. Have you cried?
Immensely
05. Have you called more than 3 people?
No.

Q AND A

Q: Is there a person who is on your mind right now?
A: Yes, she most likely always will be too

Q: Where is the last place you went?
A: Albertsons (I have too, I work there)

Q: Who do you like better your mom or your dad?
A: Mom but even she sometimes has her days when I don't like her

Q: Do you have any siblings?
A: Technically, but I don't go to that side of the family anymore

Q: Do you want children?
A: Yes... *Blushes faintly *

Q: Do you smile often?
A: I make others laugh, I myself only smile if nothing is going wrong.

Q: Do you think someone is thinking of you right now?
A: Yes, because she feels guilty... which I'm trying to stop her

Q: Do you wish on stars?
A: I used to, I don't believe in wishes anymore

Q: Do you untie your shoes when you take them off?
A: No... hate that

Q: When did you last cry?
A: This hour actually...

Q: Do you like your handwriting?
A: Only when I actually try to write nicely, sure

Q: Are you a friendly person?
A: I try to be, some people just dislike me because I get in their faces when they hurt my friends.

Q: Whos bed did you sleep in last night?
A: Mine, but I wish SHE was in it still...

Q: What color of shirt are you wearing?
A: Grey... well multiple shades of it...

Q: Do you have any pets?
A: Yeah, two cats... and I'm getting a fishie this weekend ( :3 )

Q: What color are your bedsheets?
A: Deep red and black

Q: What were you doing at 3 pm yesterday?
A: Sitting online talking to her...

Q: I cant wait for___ ?
A: The weekend. Sleepovers with her is great

Q: Look to your right, whats there?
A: It's the kitchen...?

Q: Ever cried on a friends shoulder?
A: ... Yup, usually her's, but it can sometimes be Kaze's or Skiar's too

Q: Song that makes you cry, or really emotional?
A: There are two many, mostly 'The last night' by Skillet

Q: Are you normally a happy person?
A: I try to be

Q: Has anyone said 'I love you' other than a family member?
A: Yeah, all the time

Q: If yes, do you think they meant it?
A: I know she does

Q: What are you doing right now?
A: Talking to her?



SECTION 1 - YOU

- Your full name: Sapphira (You'd all get to jealous if I said my full name)
- Known as: Nhari or Sapphy
- Born: Jan 10
- Eyes: Orange/Carmel
- Hair color: Brown
- Siblings: None
- Tattoos: Never
- Piercings: Three

SECTION 2 - HAVE YOU EVER

- Fallen off a bed: Oh yeah... so many times
- Broken someone's heart: Only one, because he was an asshole to me in the first place...
- Had your heartbroken: Many times, but it ends now
- Had a dream come true: Y-yes... *Blushes * Quite a few

SECTION 3 - CURRENTLY

- Wearing: Smiley guy pj bottoms, huge sleeved grey shirt
- Located: My living room
- Chatting with: Liea-Re...
- Should really be doing: Nothing, everything is done

SECTION 4 - DO YOU

- Have a cell phone: Yeah... duh

SECTION 5 - LAST PERSON

- Hugged: Ethan? I think... so many people were hugging me today
- Met: Met? I know everyone...
- Talked to: Mom... well no wait her...

SECTION 6 - PERSONAL

- Do you like someone: Yeah I'm dating her... *Giggles *

SECTION 7 - FAVORITE

- TV Show: Don't like TV

SECTION 8 - DO YOU

- Like to give hugs: Depends on who...
- Prefer black or grey: Black
- Sleep on your side: Yeah, can't usually sleep otherwise anymore
- Have stuffed animals: Still collect them ^//^;;

SECTION 9 - THIS OR THAT

- P... ]]> ~The-Forbidden-Angel http://The-Forbidden-Angel.deviantart.com/journal/20270992/ http://The-Forbidden-Angel.deviantart.com/journal/20270992/ Mon, 01 Sep 2008 11:56:29 PDT ------------End of summer...------------

Starting this Wednesday it will be back to school as a junior for me. Meaning my summer is coming to an end, and I have to go back to the hectic life of school, life, and the drama that always follows it. It'll be weird being a junior since I'm not in the middle, and it's not quite the end yet either. It doesn't help my schedule is going to be insane every single day and weekend either. Because basically I will be working Monday through Friday 4:00pm-7:00pm right after a school day of 7:50am-2:25pm. Giving me little time in the morning or afternoon to talk to my friends, let alone hang out with anyone. Sure I'll be getting money to save up for getting into Digipen, but good grief, I know I will have huge projects this year unlike the last and I'm pretty sure it will be full of drama and tons of stress. Though, luckily I'll have my girlfriend by my side the whole way while she goes to College at UW. Plus I'll have all of my best friends and such too; they always get me through everything.

My first set of classes is American Studies, US History and Government, Integrated math III, PE and strength fitness training, Newspaper production (Aka Kolus my school's newspaper, where I'm one of the artists), and then lastly Environmental Science.

Sounds like fun right? No. The only ones I WANT to do is the Kolus one, the rest is because I HAVE to or else I can't graduate from my school.

My second set of classes at the last half of the year is:

American Studies, US History and Government, Integrated math III, Digital Imaging, Newspaper production, and then Computer apps web design.

I think I'll have an easier and more fun time with the my second set of classes by the end of the year. But I'm not looking forward to all the stress and tests of the first part. Ah well, I'm sure I'll still keep my A's and high B's grades as usual and still have my social life for the most part. Oh and don't worry, I'll still be drawing of course, especially once the stress gets to me. I'm sure I'll blow off homework til the last moment and draw so I don't panic half as much. I'll be sure to scan (Using my girlfriend's scanner at UW) my art for Kolus as well as my other stuff. I hope to get better by next summer! I really want to get popular on both dA and in the real life. I hope to get published again as well in that book this year!

Anyways, I'm not supposed to be online right now since my eyes and body hurts... but I wanted to do a quick new journal to end the summer... so shhh don't tell my girlfriend I was online!

*Quickly rushes off with food to go rest in my room *

~Nhari

--

Best friend:


Girlfriend:


Younger sister:


Twin:


Daughter/mother?

--

Requests:

I'm still working on Icy's and Jeff's. Then I have to do a few pictures for Liea and Rachel. Oh and one for Stepphy.

Do you want me to draw you something? Get in line and comment!

Current line(up to date):
Icy: Not finished
Jeff: Not started
Liea: Working on-almost done
Rachel: Not started
Stepphy: Not finished-almost done
Open:
Open:
open:
Open:
Open:

----------

Edit: WTF... o.o Why do I have 4000 page views?! Aiieee... what is wrong with you people, my art sucks! D:<

]]> ~The-Forbidden-Angel http://The-Forbidden-Angel.deviantart.com/journal/19907331/ http://The-Forbidden-Angel.deviantart.com/journal/19907331/ Mon, 11 Aug 2008 23:22:21 PDT
------------Nhari's summer, breaking news!------------

Morshi: This is your host, Morshi... on the new show called
"What's Nhari been up to"!

Nhari: ... Is this really necessary, Morshi? *Sweatdrop *

Morshi: ... Morshi thinks so, so yes~!

Nhari: ... *Anime fall *

Morshi: Anyways let's see what the Nhari has been up to! First she had a small party at her place with William and Rachel before school was out! Did lots of making out-

Nhari: MORSHI!!!

Morshi: -I mean, she did lots of exercise!

Nhari: ... *Smacks forehead *

Morshi: *Coughs in the awkward silence moment * Anyways! She did a number of sleep overs at her place with her girlfriend, Liea-Re! Lots of role playing online, writing stories(poems too!), working as a Storewalker at Albertsons, and hanging out with Rachel a few times as well! She went to the Pride Parade in Downtown Seattle with her girlfriend, Jeff, and Jeff's mother (Jeff works at Albertsons and is 23ish?)! Getting lots of cool free stuff they nearly died on the way back home from heat and fatigue... but luckily they made it back in time to find out Liea had a fever...

Nhari: *Sighs * Morshi, they don't need to know EVERY detail, sheesh!

Morshi: *Ignores comment * So then of course they rushed Liea back to her place and that was the end of a 3 day sleepover.

Nhari: ... *Rolls eyes * I think I'll be the host from now on. Anyways after that I really just did random hanging out with my girlfriend until her family went off to Minnesota so we maybe took over their house for a whole week? I of course am hated by their family(for reasons I will not state because it is just to idiotic)... so it's really a secret I was there. But I did have fun cleaning her house 5 hours a day! *Smirks *

Morshi: More sleepovers with her girlfriend... Then Icy came over for the first time since they got out of school last weekend and they both got tasty Asian candies and art supplies! Of course Liea and Rachel for two weeks left Nhari alone, so it was nice that someone was able to come over to Nhari' place!

Nhari: *Coughs * You mean they still are! Get the facts right, Morshi! Basically Liea and Rachel are in a band for Inglemoor High and well they got into the Beijing Olympics to be one of the American bands participating. They get back sometime on the 13th, so I just have to wait out really one more day! I really miss them both, I miss talking to Rachel about random things, and Liea... well obviously because I only let her hold me along with other things. *Blushes * What can I say? I like getting kissed, and for two weeks I haven't gotten kissed... makes me sad! *Shrugs *

Morshi: Yush, yush... wait what is kissing?

Nhari: ... *Stares at Morshi * Um... I'll explain to you later! *Whistles *

Morshi: O...kay? Um anyways, Morshi thinks it is time to end the show for today! Check back for our next show starring Utsusu-

Utsusu: I won't be a host you idiotic backpack!

Morshi: *Frowns then snickers * Fine, fine well just check back for our next show then everyone! This is Morshi, over and out!

Nhari: Cheers, hope you all are having a great summer! I'm still drawing so don't worry! Like anyone cares... *Sad eyes *

Utsusu: ... Later freaks! *Rolls eyes, stalking off *

------------ *Pzzt! "what's Nhari been up to" has ended. Please come back next time for our next breaking news addition! * ------------



-----

Best friend:


Girlfriend:


Younger sister:


Twin:


Daughter/mother? ~The-Forbidden-Angel http://The-Forbidden-Angel.deviantart.com/journal/19208010/ http://The-Forbidden-Angel.deviantart.com/journal/19208010/ Fri, 04 Jul 2008 19:15:57 PDT
Well what have I been doing these past few weeks since the last week of school and the beginning of summer? Mostly just working at Albersons even more ( I'm a storewalker now, if you don't know what that is I will shoot you >_>;; ) and really only hanging out with my girlfriend. I wish I could also hang out with Rachel, William, and Skiar but they are to busy and I never seem to talk to them anymore since school got out. Ah well...

A few things I've gone aside from work is I went to the Pride Parade with my girlfriend and co-worker Jeff last Sunday. It was really fun, even though there was complications with buses and then dealing with being under the sun and both of us(Liea and me) nearly fainting from lack of food and water. That weekend had also been a three day sleep over so that was even more exciting and fun. I wish it were still happening. ( T.T )

Currently I'm in a stumble over a few things. I moved in with my mom full time and I feel free from the restraints of my dad and having to deal with a little brother (who technically is only half my family) and his wife. As much as I love being with just my dad, I couldn't stand the other issues that would deal with it. In fact I barely talk to him anymore unless it's through email, and I'm not sure if that is a good or bad thing. It's all to confusing and though I will stick to my choice of staying with my mom, I will always wonder.

Then I have to deal with life itself face to face instead of hiding behind school. I hate the fact that I have to work (Mom forced me right away once I turned 16) and can't just keep constantly going over to other people's houses, or vice versa. I'm getting confused with how to act towards other people and what to do or say half the time so I'm not really myself either. (Plus the fact that I'm getting hit on and complimented on how I look everyday nearly 2 to 5 times or more... it's creepy and I don't know why.) But it doesn't matter much so whatever. Then lastly I just... can't seem to save money up for college that I will be going to in 2 years, and well I guess I'll just be even more screwed once I'm out of high school. Big whoop. ( >.>; )

Aside from all that, I will be having a huge sleepover soon that will last a week and that will be exciting for sure... ( X3 ) Plus I took that entire time off work because I wouldn't want to take the bus for nearly 4 hours total a day to work only 4 hours... that'd just be ridiculous and annoying.

Well I know that Shade has been wanting me to draw my three children... or well acutely more like three OF my children which would be Trijon, Tira, and Talfia. Guess what, I'm nearly done with it, coloring it too just because I can. ( XD ) Sorry for the wait, other then that I haven't been drawing or reading anything... but I plan to soon. So I should be posting up drawings sooner or later! ( Though if no one is excited about that I think I might just leave here V_V )

Time to take a shower and then get to doing something more fun then writing an emo, or blank journal. ( XD So go away all of you! No bugging me unless you want something or me )

The unknown angel,
Nhari


--
--

Best friend:


Girlfriend:


Younger sister:


Twin:


Daughter/mother?


--
--

]]> ~The-Forbidden-Angel http://The-Forbidden-Angel.deviantart.com/journal/18733304/ http://The-Forbidden-Angel.deviantart.com/journal/18733304/ Sun, 08 Jun 2008 15:26:50 PDT
My favorite one still is Toa Kopaka (( [link] - [link] )) just because I enjoy angsty, hot (Yes I just said a lego characters was hot, leave me alone D< HE IS DAMNIT!), powerful guys. He was silent for the most part and only pretended not to care... he is like the typical Vincent or something only in legos... either way you get my point. Even though I could easily go into a huge rant and ramble over them all.

I moved over my Bionicle things to my new room so I was able to show Rachel my childhood and what not. And today just to change what I draw... she told me to draw one of the Toa. So expect to see a lot more of Bionicle like drawings for a little while, since I also want to prove to myself that I can draw something other then anime and people.

Although as much as I do love Bionicle, I hate how they twisted the characters. I love the original plot line and simple designs. So as far as I am concerned, the Toa should have stopped freakin' altering after the first time they did. I thought after they changed from normal Toa to Toa Nuva it should have stopped. Now they just look ridiculous and I think they messed up the original feeling and emotions of the whole thing. (Haha see how I can easily rant?)

Either way... don't get freaked when you see non anime things from now on. And anyone who bashes Bionicle will be slammed with a large ice sword that glows! D< SO NO BASHING MY FAVORITE LEGO SERIES OF ALL TIME. Okay... okay. ^-^

The nerdy lego freak,
Nhari

Kopaka: >.>; ... 'Why me? Damn fangirl...'
Nhari: I LOVE JOO!! >.>... <.< No one tell my girlfriend that... XD;; I love you too Liea! *Huggles Kopaka *

--
--

Best friend:


Girlfriend:


Younger sister:


Twin:


Daughter/mother?


--
--

]]> ~The-Forbidden-Angel http://The-Forbidden-Angel.deviantart.com/journal/18244299/ http://The-Forbidden-Angel.deviantart.com/journal/18244299/ Fri, 09 May 2008 15:36:23 PDT
( Imprints = [link] )

And apparently someone liked my art and choose my drawing! The drawing I sent it was "Take me away" ( [link] ) and as much as I'd like to think it was one of my best drawings it isn't. Ah well, I guess I can ignore the mistakes on it and be happy with getting picked. XD; I think next year I will draw something wayyyy better and see if I get chosen again. Which would be really good since the 3D animation college I want to get into called Digipen would be rather impressed if I had published works to show them!

Not only that but I also got picked to be one of the artists in my schools newspaper for next year! So I plan on keeping all of those newspapers with me! It'd just be another great thing to show for my college and such. Also a great self confidence booster.

Also my African art project which is due Monday is also most likely going to be chosen as one of the ones to show off at this show at Third place books on May 15th! I really hope my teacher does pick me since I spent so much effort into it, and he made lots of comments on how he thinks it is totally amazing, and how he is stealing the original one. XD Silly teacher liking my messed up drawing!

But of course, regardless of what anyone says and such, the only reason I keep drawing and that I've gotten so good is because of my closest friends who never stopped liking my art nyaa...! So HA! It's not my talent, it's 'cuz of you guys who have the talent of keeping me on track!

Aside from all that, my life is going pretty good and such, get to go to a party for my best friend tomorrow and it shall be amazing! X3 So I think I'll shut up now. XD;

The greatful angel,
Nhari

--
Best friend:
Girlfriend:
Younger sister:
Twin:
Daughter/mother? (O.o):

]]> ~The-Forbidden-Angel http://The-Forbidden-Angel.deviantart.com/journal/18203511/ http://The-Forbidden-Angel.deviantart.com/journal/18203511/ Tue, 06 May 2008 20:30:05 PDT
^-^ Please go tell her happy birthday to her!

~Nhari

]]> ~The-Forbidden-Angel http://The-Forbidden-Angel.deviantart.com/journal/17920698/ http://The-Forbidden-Angel.deviantart.com/journal/17920698/ Sat, 19 Apr 2008 00:28:40 PDT
Let's see what has happened so far? Well today was the last day of WASL, ugg it was so pathetically stupid. I mean seriously the questions made no sense and the answers weren't any better. Ah well I suppose it has to be done since we have a dumb president who couldn't take it himself. D:<

Aside from that I'm mostly been going to school, working, hanging out with anyone I possibly can, and trying hard not to get overly emotional. I've been crying a lot this week and it's just been very down for me. Lots of things are bothering me and I can't get around them. Luckily when I slept over at Rachel's she let me cry like 5 times and what not. ( I love jooo :3 ) So that helped, but I am still overly emotional and can flip out at the smallest thing. Hopefully it will stop shortly since I have to be happy to go help others, 'tiz my job! Can't be all down and depressed now can I?

All right well here is the real point to my whole journal. Today is my 6th month anniversary with my girlfriend Liea-Re. So I’m really excited that I get to spend the morning with her before we both go to work. Whenever I fell lonely or that I’m worthless I run to her and everything is magically better. *Blushes slightly * It feels like I’ve either been with her for eternity or it hasn’t truly been 6 months since the major downfall that led us to get together. I look back at that moment of pain and figure it all worked out in the end because I found my true special someone who I plan my entire life with now, and we both got over our suffering. Heck without it I doubt we would have even gotten together.

But yeah, I am really tired since I worked until about an hour ago and I have to get up early so I can actually see Liea, so I’ll just end this journal with a short poem.

Through trails we learn.
Pain is our pathway,
Hate is our journey,
Love is our hope…
And our light within,
Outshines any darkness about.
Through trials we live.

The sleepy angel,
Nhari

Oh and I hope to scan my piccys from last week and the one before hand shortly in school Monday since my scanners are all down for the count! Aiiee!! So if you want a commission or a request, note/comment me and hopefully I can draw and scan it up for yeah!

EDIT:
Here are the rules (got this from Icy since I requested her)
The first 10 people who comment in this journal will get a free sketch. You must offer 10 free sketches in your journal as well before asking a request.

You MUST PROVIDE REFERENCES. ^-^ Might be a while but I'll do it!
Sketch List

1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.

]]> ~The-Forbidden-Angel http://The-Forbidden-Angel.deviantart.com/journal/17750435/ http://The-Forbidden-Angel.deviantart.com/journal/17750435/ Tue, 08 Apr 2008 15:44:30 PDT Step 2: Post the first sentence from the first 20 songs that play, no matter how embarrassing.
Step 3: Strike through the songs when someone guesses both artist and track correctly.
Step 4: For those who are guessing -- looking the lyrics up on a search engine is CHEATING!

1. She's only known, heartache and pain, she's never known pain like this. She's stands alone, defending her name. (...)
2. Remeber the feeling, remember the day. My stone heart my was breaking, my love ran away. (Saki: I sing this song a lot~)
3.Yeah, bringing you another disturbing creation, from the mind of one sick animal who can't tell the difference and gets stupified.
4. C minor, put it in C minor. Where have all the good men gone and? Where are all the gods?
5. (No I had to get the lyrics XD I can't spell Japanese) kawaita, kokoro de kakenukeru, gomen ne nani mo dekinakute. (Icy you'd better get this one! D<
6.Hanging on this post , In my dirty clothes , Try to concentrate on You, But I keep forgetting
7. You light up another cigarette, And I pour the wine, It's four o'clock in the morning. ( OBVIOUS! )
8. Every night I see you standing on the corner, Shaking that thing like you're playing Pop Warner
9. The sun will always shine on you, You turn my ocean deepest blue, I'll never hide my thoughts from you.
10. t Waits for the day, I will let it out, To Give it a reason, to give it its might.
11. (Liea... ^//^) When you feel all alone, and the world has turned its back to you, give me a moment please, to tame your wild, wild heart. I know it feels like the walls are closing in on you...
12. (Rachel... FINNISH TIME! :3 )Puhu jos sullon sanottavaa, jos on millä puolustautua, sillä yhteinen on tuomio
13. (*Coughs *) I see right through to you... see right through to you, see right through to you...
14. (Epic battle beginning... rachel think hard! XD) Here we go... it's time to get together we are a dream team frosting all across the land. We got ourselves a landslide, and the gathering is here...
15. ( =///= )The predator...You gotta know that she is out there, When you're leaving for the night, She'll make you think that.
16. And I don't want you and I don't need you, Don't bother to resist, or I'll beat you, It's not your fault that you're always wrong.
17. (Yeah Liea had better get this one...) Ashes to ashes... dust to dust... whatever happens... in this music we trust
18.Love is in danger...! I don't wanna hurt you but I need to talk, To talk about our love, I don't wanna hurt you but I need to walk.
19.I've been denied all the best ultra sex, I've been denied all the best ultra sex.. ( ... XD!!! *blush blush! *)
20.Dear my love, haven't you wanted to be with me, And dear my love, haven't you longed to be free ( *Blush * ... This is one of my favorite love songs...)

So yeah enjoy... Wonder who will guess most of them? XD The obvious ones shouldn't count!

~Nhari

]]> ~The-Forbidden-Angel http://The-Forbidden-Angel.deviantart.com/journal/17107948/ http://The-Forbidden-Angel.deviantart.com/journal/17107948/ Wed, 05 Mar 2008 15:00:22 PST

To all who know me directly, like through school and real life...!

I am going to be making a few things in order to get money. Yes I know you all know I have a job but shush! I'm trying to help a friend save up for her trip! Unless otherwise stated from now on...

Drawings/Sketches: $1.00
Colored/Copic pen drawings: $1.50-2.00
Bracelets: $1.00 ( $0.50 more if you ask for "special large beads" )

---

I'm also doing commissions, so if you are interested, feel free to comment/note me! (Obviously those will be more since I don't know you in real life.)

---



--
Hey look a journal from Nhari, 'tiz amazing yes? Heh just felt like having a new one up, along with a few things you all should glance over at!

First off, the backpack journal is still up and running if you wish to join in! Click here to join --> [link]

.:.-----------------------------.:.
All right, now time to show off a few things! First off... I present to you a girl in need of money who has great shirt designs for sale! *Le gasp! * Also you should just check her out regardless...

Liea-Re -->
Her cafepress/store --> [link]

Some of my favorite art from her: [link] [link] and [link]

.:.-----------------------------.:.

Okay now that I'm done with my advertising, I now will do... more! XD;

Go check out my friends here... 'cuz they are amazing as well!

Rachel!

Icy!

Yomi/Eva!

Okay I'm done now... I'd talk about my life currently but it's so messed up I don't feel like ranting. Later everyone...!
~Nhari

]]> ~The-Forbidden-Angel http://The-Forbidden-Angel.deviantart.com/journal/16472757/ http://The-Forbidden-Angel.deviantart.com/journal/16472757/ Sat, 19 Jan 2008 10:00:53 PST
Well now is your chance.

Take a good long look at your backpack and design a character that is it. Then give it a name!

Only rule:
Must have a zipper somewhere on it (Obviously since it is a backpack and all backpacks have zippers)

You can draw, sketch, Photoshop, whatever... just make a drawing of the backpack in whatever way you feel more comfortable! This is supposed to be fun so do whatever it takes to do so. MAKE SURE IT IS YOUR OWN ART! Your backpack, your art... or else I won't post it.

This was started by when she first made her backpack into a character. So she gets full credit for it! I'm just posting it up for others to follow suit! 'Cuz it's lots of fun!

If you design your backpack, please note me with the name of your backpack and a link to a deviantArt page where the drawing of it is. And I'll post it up on this journal!

---

Current Participants:

Icy (With Joe) [link]

Skiar (With Loz / Yazoo)

Stephanie (With Mark) [link]

Yomi (With KMS)

Nhari (With Morshi) [link]

Nikki (With Jude) [link]

Choco (With Justin Thyme) [link] [link] [link]



-----

Clubs I'm in:

SugarStars -

-----------------------------------------------

Best friends:

<3 -

Shadow/Kadaj lover/Goth buddeh -

Twin(including myself) -

Twin(including myself) -

Twin(including myself) -

Friend -

Daughter/Mom -

Devfriend -

]]> ~The-Forbidden-Angel http://The-Forbidden-Angel.deviantart.com/journal/16183820/ http://The-Forbidden-Angel.deviantart.com/journal/16183820/ Mon, 31 Dec 2007 11:59:56 PST


So, are you excited for the new year?
… Yeah, duh…?

How many times will you break or lose your cell phone in 2008?
None, I take very good care of my dragon razor. >3>

What was the worst part of last year?
… Aiiee… can I just not bother with this question?!? *Rubs left arm quickly *

What was your favorite thing about this past year?
Well a lot of good things happened I suppose, but I found my true special someone. So I guess that would be on the major top list. XP

If for one year you could choose to be any age, what age would you be and why?
18… so certain parents would get off my freakin’ back.

In past years, what New Year’s resolution did you break the fastest?
I’ve never had a resolution… o.o

Which important one did you keep?
>.> If I never had one… obviously I can’t keep it… *Snickers *

Who were your best friends?

Oh boy… *Writes list *

Rachel: How many times have you saved my life? A hell of a lot, along with saving me from other things. I owe you so much from what you’ve done for me and I just hope one day I can repay you fully for it all. You’re the bestest goth buddy I could ever have…friends forever nyaa! :3 And guess what… JARETH! XD;

Icy: You keep running after me even when I’m okay. It means a lot, and you too have saved my life more then a few times. I owe you for holding me when I needed a friend to cry and scream to… sisters for life! ^-^

William: Gah you are just… you. You helped me through a few tough times when most would have just thrown me aside and gave up. Having you constantly texting me and making me laugh means so much. And… to you Cloud and Kadaj foreva hahahah!!

Skiar: … Being my “Twin” never made you forced to help me out. But you do anyways regardless if you ever realized it or not. You’ve saved me, comforted me, and kept me from leaving everything I held dear. I’ll owe you forever most likely from what you have helped me through. Thank you…

Liea-Re: … What can I say…what could I say that would prove to you in words just what you’ve given back to me? I think words are far beyond it… so all I can really say is I love you forever and ever, on and on.

Choco: Full of crack, you kept me smiling even when I really didn’t want to. I miss you from our little group at school; it isn’t the same without you. Especially not in Honors English class… You’ve saved me too, so I owe you.

… That’s the major major people for last year really… but to all those not on the small major list, I thank you too! Nyaa!

Who do you NOT want to see in 2008?
Those who hurt me in my past? >.>; I don’t know…

Is there anything you are not looking forward to next year?
Anything painful I suppose, but heck it’s better then nothing X)

Did you have a resolution for this year?
XD I never will have one… so no

Did you keep it?
… Nope… can’t lol

What was the best song of last year?
Whispers in the dark by Skillet

Who will you be with at new years eve?
Just Liea-Re and I suppose my mother and her boyfriend… but just mostly with Liea…

What was the best TV show of last year?
I don’t have TV, haven’t for like 9 years now…? But I do watch DVDs and animes and such online… but yeah. No actually show show…

Did you get in trouble alot?
Not really. I’m a good girl even though to certain people I am evil… XD Hahaha
But seriously, no just with adults who have self issues anyways… *Grumbles *

On New Year’s Eve, do you:

a) Fall asleep at 11:00 p.m.
NOPE! I stay up as late as I can…

b) Barely make it to midnight with your significant other/family.
Yup… I’m a night owl, it is natural to stay up so late

c) Hit the town like a party animal until at least 1:00 a.m.
… No… I don’t “ party ” really… >.>;;

What word or phrase will you hear your significant other, sibling or best friend say most often in 2... ]]> ~The-Forbidden-Angel http://The-Forbidden-Angel.deviantart.com/journal/16019013/ http://The-Forbidden-Angel.deviantart.com/journal/16019013/ Thu, 20 Dec 2007 18:27:25 PST
I AM WILLING TAGGED... by myself. Aren't I speical? :3

Taken from...'s journal



1. Choose a few of your own characters. Five at the most.
2. Make them answer the following questions.
3. Then tag three people.
4. Feel free to go ahead and add some questions yourself!!

Characters
1. Euglena Koucha (AKA TOAST!) [link]
2. Trijon Artra (Aka my "son") [link]
3. Utsusu Enimin (Aka character from my manga)
4. Saki ("Alter ego")
5. Sakura ("Alter dementional self")

How old are you?
1. 1 year old, but I look 16-18 years old (Computer)
2. ...10ish
3. A couple years old, but I look 16-17 years old (Computer)
4. ... Since my first pastlife? Over 2000 years old... but I look 16ish
5. 16... But I look older.

What's your height?
1. 6'2
2. 4'10
3. 5'5 1/2
4. 5'5 1/2... but in my past life I was 5'6
5. 5'7

Do you have any bad habits?
1. ... Only if I am programed to have such
2. Getting annoyed at my little "dark" sister?
3. Killing people... but it's not really THAT bad a habit
4. ... I get to violent.
5. ...

Are you a virgin?
1. o.o Yes... very much so
2. Duh... I'm only 10
3. >_> Yes
4. ... I'd... uh rather not say... >//> *Shuffles off *
5. Yes.

Who's your mate/spouse/person you be dating?
1. Akira... *Blush *
2. I don't date... I'm 10 here!
3. Guo...
4. ... Leor and Liea-Re...
5. I wish it was with Xio... otherwise... I think Liea-Re...

Do you have any kids?
1. No o.o
2. I'M A KID MYSELF! >_<
3. No.
4. No. Damn glad.
5. ... No.

What's your favourite food?
1. Don't have one...
2. Anything mom makes, she's really a great cook! ^-^ Nhari: >//> Such a sweet son I have
3. ... Don't have one... *Rolls eyes * Food is food
4. Potstickers... or pocky.
5. ... I'll eat what is in front of me.

What's your favourite ice cream flavor?
1. ... Ice cream...? What's that?
2. Vanilla and chocolate mixed together
3. Vanilla
4. Chocolate
5. Vanilla

Have you killed anyone?
1. No... never will either
2. I got close once on accident...! D=
3. Many villages... *Dark smirk *
4. In my past lives... yes... many... *Pained eyes *
5. No.

Do you hate anyone?
1. Nope, I am not programmed to hate.
2. Not that I know of... other then my annoying little "dark" sister
3. Everyone... other then Guo or Nhari... or Noki...
4. Yes... only those who have hurt Nhari... especially Liea-Re's mother >_>
5. ... I fear, not hate... though I once hated Saki...

Have any secrets?
1. ... Error, you cannot access those files
2. 'Course, everyone does
3. ... *Silence *
4. ... To many... *Sad eyes *
5. Yes... don't we all?

Do you love anyone?
1. Y-yes... Akira...
2. My family! ^-^ Nhari: :'3 *Huggles her son *
3. Obviously since I'm dating him...
4. ... Duh...
5. Yes... *Blushes faintly *

What is your job?
1. Don't have one.
2. I'm a kid... >> What job?
3. Other then killing people...
4. Nope...
5. Yes but it's not what you are thinking...

Boy or girl?
1. Boy...
2. Boy
3. Female.
4. Girl...
5. Girl.

What do you do to relax?
1. I do not 'relax' I shut down or plug into a wall for a while...
2. Hang out with my little "light" sister or mom...
3. Sit outside and just think
4. I sleep in the Dreamworld... or just go there
5. Sleep and try to escape reality

What's the weirdest thing that happened to you?
1. I fell in love...?
2. Guess it was finding out I have no father... at all... o.o;
3. I was saved.
4. ... I was killed by my own world in my first past life... instead of my lover Leor.
5. Having my family make me bleed everyday... almost to the point of near death.

Have you kissed anyone?
1. ... Not r-really...
2. No... well does my mom count? Nhari... ]]> ~The-Forbidden-Angel http://The-Forbidden-Angel.deviantart.com/journal/15698855/ http://The-Forbidden-Angel.deviantart.com/journal/15698855/ Tue, 27 Nov 2007 19:13:36 PST
Hmm what to go on about first. Oh I know! As much as I know I have problems with my body, like eatting, drinking, sleeping, ect ect; I really don't want to go to a docters office to find out the real reasons behind it. My my left usual burns insanely hot while the rest of me just stays frozen, I look/eat/think of food and instantly get sick to my stomach. Same goes to drinking for the most part. A lot of the time I get really faint, my knees have a hard time keepin me standing up, and usually when that happens my vision gets slightly blurred. Oh that and my bones hurt when touched... I'll barely put pressure againt them and they just hurt for minutes. It's really annoying. But... I hate being touched by others, I only let certain people, otherwise I get really freaked out, so I don't want to go to the docters office. I have other reasons, but I don't feel like putting them down.

All right, next problem/issue/whatever. I'm really worried about my girlfriend. I always worry 24/7 about everything/everyone... but most of my worrying has been constantly about her. She's having lots of health issues herself, and so...of course I'm nervous for her. I know she'll be okay, but that doesn't stop my heart from worrying until I fall asleep. I wish I could do more to help out, but I'm completly useless currently. Hopefully believing, and doing all I can will help out for the most part. X.x But I feel uber guilty about all of it...

Hmm... well I'm also kinda getting really spazzy about how Christmas is coming up. I really don't like getting gifts, I feel extremely guily, but I love giving away my stuff for other people! And since my parents are divorced for past 2, nearing 3 years now... holiday have NEVER been fun. Even when I have issues with one or the other, I hate not being able to have one huge happy Christmas anymore... it always ends up with me feeling guilty for having to leave one of my parents alone each year. I'm just... more looking forward to the party I'm doing for me and a few speical friends. That will most likely make the majority of my Christmas okay.

Let's see... most other things I'm having issues with I'd rather not talk about...those I'll just keep bottled up inside; As usual.

But a good thing that has happened semi recently is I can finally see and talk to my girlfriend again, just can't go to her place, otherwise it's all good. =3 That makes me smile a lot, just wish... I could spend tons more time with her. Ah well, I least I can, and won't get in trouble now. XD

Lately I haven't really been in a drawing mood, but I've written up at least 20 or more short stories that I have not posted. @_@ It's like my writing spree is killing off my drawingness... XD; Though later on I should have a few drawings posted up. Hopefully if I can get back to Dad's and abuse teh wittle scanner o' mine. 83 Oh how I love abusing the poor thing.

What else to say? I've been really obessed with a few songs lately, Fallen Angel, Tomorrow, Angel's cring, Free like a flying demon, The predator, Hide U, Inside of you, Connected, Switchback, Tragety, True Believer, Take me away (into the night), and Whispers in the dark.

So yeah... 'bout it, really hope no one read all my ranting... XD But yeah!

Just gotta keep smiling... everything will be fine in the end. Just gotta wait. *Huggles dragon plushie and goes off to wait for teh uber smexy demon *

~Nhari

-----

Clubs I'm in:

SugarStars -

-----------------------------------------------

Best friends:

<3 -

One of 5 twins(including myself) -
One of 5 twins(including myself) -
One of 5 twins(including myself) - ~The-Forbidden-Angel http://The-Forbidden-Angel.deviantart.com/journal/15385007/ http://The-Forbidden-Angel.deviantart.com/journal/15385007/ Mon, 05 Nov 2007 22:43:59 PST
Since 8th grade and finding out I was bisexual my life has always seemed to be slightly different. It was not a major turning point in my life like being molested in 3rd grade, or the other major turning point that happened later on in 8th grade, or all those other times in my life. But it was a small part of who I turned out to be.

I hang out with people who are very relaxed about such matters, or are somehow gay / lesbian / bisexual. So even when people ask me that question from my high school, they have never seemed to really care, they think it's pretty cool. I've been lucky to have that kind of invisible support. Even my parents all my life, to when I told them in 8th grade, and even now are extremely supportive about it.

And yet some people just seem to get so, defensive about it, deny that it can happen, and try to stop it immediately. I don't understand one thing about those who are homophobic...

"Why do you care?" "Is it your life to worry about?" "Is it your problem?"

No. That is the simple fact and yet they MAKE it their business to care about, to try and kill off, like it is some kind of virus. Do you really believe that those of different orientations other then being 'straight' are really so dangerous? Sure I bite my friends, but do you think I'm going to kill you just because I happen to be bisexual? No... I don't hurt others at all no matter what you or anyone does to me.


So here the one thing I don't get.


Two people love each other. They want to be with each other forever until even after death. They have done absolutely nothing wrong, and have in fact helped each other so much that they love each other more. So... why would someone, or someone’s try and destroy that? It's love, it's NOT yours, and they are doing nothing bad to hurt themselves, others, or just anyone really. So why would it even be a problem at all?

Oooohhh same genders, it's skin. We're human, and guess what... apperences really don't matter, most people look for what's INSIDE, their heart, their personality, not their freakin' bodies or genders. So please, do explain why it's sooo wrong to love someone of the same gender?

Can't you homophobes just not look, not care, not worry, not do anything about it, and leave the people who are in love alone? Let nature take it's course, if they truly love each other, then let it be... why stop something of beauty just because YOU don't like it. You aren't dating that person, so why bother?

Just... something I wonder about.

Right now, I'm just more calm and kinda getting tired. I think my special someone is holding the dragon I gave them... *Yawns faintly * I can't wait for when I can be back in her arms, without her parents flipping out at us, and mostly her for no reason. It'll come soon, just a couple more months and then there will be no more problems. Ahh... glad I'm a 'water' personality, patience is a good thing to have...


Either way... feel free to comment about this, flame all you wish, I'm just curious as to what people say about this subject.

*Walks off holding the dragon to my chest yawning again * 'Night everyone, sleep well!


-------------------------------------------------

Clubs I'm in:

SugarStars -

-----------------------------------------------

Best friends:

<3 -

One of 5 twins(including myself) -
One of 5 twins(including myself) -
One of 5 twins(including myself) -

Shadow/Kadaj lover/Goth buddeh - ~The-Forbidden-Angel http://The-Forbidden-Angel.deviantart.com/journal/15220430/ http://The-Forbidden-Angel.deviantart.com/journal/15220430/ Thu, 25 Oct 2007 18:34:45 PDT
Good things that happened, mom ordered my new refurburished blue ipod nano, got amazing moon pictures on the way to school, I got help on my math homework, I got cookies at lunch, no one brought up my past, barely any stress, hung out with my group of friends after school, and got a new "guy" dragon coat.

Bad things that happened... I woke up, and began to cry just three tears this morning because I felt like I was becoming like those in my past who hurt me... but I got over that by fiddling with the bracelet on my right wrist.

Then the one major thing I was looking forward too, I couldn't go because I got the wrong adress from a friend and my mom gave up on driving around. So instead of hanging the speical someone I care about most and a best friend of mine... I got driven back home with a pissed off mom, and I having to hide my tears. Trying to fake it being okay, not crying when it hurts so deeply, and just wanting to scream out that this wasn't how I wanted it to be. But of course I'm not someone to talk of my feelings... or make others worry so I just kept it inside and pretended to smile.

Right now I'm hoping to the dear fuzzy lord in the sky that this Saturday I am able to spend the night at my speical someone's place and stay with them all day Sunday because if not... it will devaste my weekand along with my week.

Ah well... just have to wait until they get online, and... at least my mom ordered an ipod nano, it'll be fun when I get it.


So yeah... basically feeling guilty for not being there for my speical someone. *Shrugs slightly and walks off sulking with hood over head*
~Dragoon


-------------------------------------------------

Clubs I'm in:

SugarStars -

-----------------------------------------------

Best friends:

<3 -

One of 5 twins(including myself) -
One of 5 twins(including myself) -
One of 5 twins(including myself) -

Shadow/Kadaj lover/Goth buddeh -


Devfriend -

]]> ~The-Forbidden-Angel http://The-Forbidden-Angel.deviantart.com/journal/15178369/ http://The-Forbidden-Angel.deviantart.com/journal/15178369/ Mon, 22 Oct 2007 18:36:08 PDT
...

Damn you Icy.

...

And you tagged Marie when I was gonna DX I don't know over 8 people!

... Alright so yeah, whatever just to get this over with. =.=;

RULES
1. Post these rules
2. Each person tagged must post 8 random facts about themselves
3. Tags should write a journal/ blog of these facts
4. At the end of the post 8 more persons are tagged and named
5. Go to their page and leave a comment telling them they're tagged



1. As much as I scream, yell, pout, I LOVE being shorter and younger then other people (Espsically a certain someone <3).

2. I wear extremely baggy clothes to hide my body, I'm very self concious.

3. I love being the uke (One taken advantage of). Because of my past, I am searching for someone who will take advantage of me in a good way and not hurt me in the end... (I'm pretty sure I've found that someone <3)

4. I hate it when others are jealous of being because I don't believe I deserve anything, I'd rather be the jealous one and feel pain so that everyone can smile and be happy.

5. I test my friends a lot. When I'm upset, I'm extremely stubborn, and even though I say I don't give in, I normally do inside.

6. I'm extremely shy and hate crowds. As much as I have an outgoing in your face personality, when it comes down to friends + love and everything that goes with it, I can only last so long before I get shaky literally and freak out for no reason.

7. I love being scared by friends who come up behind me and hug me randomly. I feel not so alone when I know they see me...

8. Ever since I can remember I've desperatly wanted someone to throw me a surprize birthday party on my doom day (My b-day's name = doom day because it sucks, ever since I can remember).



Alright so yeah, there you go, stupid random facts about me. =.='

Oh right well... I dunno, Icy stole the people I would tag, so I tag everyone AND YOU RACHEL!!! XD;

-------------------------------------------------

Clubs I'm in:

SugarStars -

-----------------------------------------------

Best friends:

<3 -

One of 5 twins(including myself) -
One of 5 twins(including myself) -
One of 5 twins(including myself) -

Shadow/Kadaj lover/Goth buddeh -


Devfriend -

]]> ~The-Forbidden-Angel http://The-Forbidden-Angel.deviantart.com/journal/15161015/ http://The-Forbidden-Angel.deviantart.com/journal/15161015/ Sun, 21 Oct 2007 15:54:52 PDT
I'm sooo close to smashing my fist through a gawd damn wall! I'm very furious at a parent for being so rude and unloving towards the person I care about! She deserves such better treatment, not flippin' punishment for no apparent reason. AND I CAN'T DO A DAMN THING ABOUT IT! *Tugs hard on my hair out of anger* Arg... I really hate it when my alter ego Saki takes over... I just get so hostile... *Grumbles under breath*

Either way. Now I have to be "bad" one and go around rules, bend over backwards to see the person I care about, make my mom drive me all over creation to do this, and sit here unable to do anything but try and freakin' calm down! I'm gonna go freakin' crazy! I'm a good person, and all I want to do is make everyone smile and be happy again... but to do so I have to be the "bad" little sophmore and most likely get a few parents pissed off at me. Not that I really care about that, people can be pissed all the want at me, but... I hate having to bend around rules, it's just so pathetic! I should be able to just go and see that person I care about without having to do all that!

...

On a side note, to try and make this less about screaming about some annoying parents, and more about things going on in my life... let's see...

A) My drawing skills increased over the weekand
B) The pain and stress from the last month or so is gone
C) I'm so excited to see the person I care about tonight
D) My fort collection of manga, has increased this weekand... (now have like I dunno 153 or more manga... not including everything else)
E) I found an awesome song that has made me and the person I care about happy!

So yeah. You'll most likely be seeing a few new pictures later once I quicly scan at my dad's if I have time before ending out to see the person I care about. And you'll most likely be seeing more and more romanatic piccys of my characters since I'm in a loving mood... once I get out of my hostile one. So yeah... time to go back to drawing!

Oh and to all my real life friends reading this:
YOU WILL ALL BE SHOCKED NEXT WEEK ON MONDAY! And I'm NOT telling why at all... just... be in for a very freaky yet cute surprize! Alright so...

[/end rant]

~Dragoon (Aka Sapphy)

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Clubs I'm in:

SugarStars -

-----------------------------------------------

Best friends:

<3 -

One of 5 twins(including myself) -
One of 5 twins(including myself) -
One of 5 twins(including myself) -

Shadow/Kadaj lover/Goth buddeh -


Devfriend -

]]> ~The-Forbidden-Angel http://The-Forbidden-Angel.deviantart.com/journal/15032552/ http://The-Forbidden-Angel.deviantart.com/journal/15032552/ Fri, 12 Oct 2007 16:58:45 PDT 2. Consumed alcohol. [ ]
3. Slept in the same bed with someone of the opposite sex. [ ]
4. Slept in the same bed with someone of the same sex. [x]
5. Kissed someone of the same sex. [ ]
6. Had sex. [ ]
7. Had someone in your room other than family. [x]
8. Watched porn. [ ]
9. Bought porn. [ ]
10. Done drugs. [ ]
TOTAL SO FAR: 2

1. Taken painkillers. [x]
2. Taken someone else's prescription medicine. [ ]
3. Lied to your parents. [x]
4. Lied to a friend. [x]
5. Been to rehab. [ ]
6. Done something illegal. [ ]
7. Cut yourself. [x]
8. Hurt someone. [ ]
9. Been to a club. [ ]
10. Seen someone die. [ ]
TOTAL SO FAR: 6

1. Missed curfew. [ ]
2. Stayed out all night. [ ]
3. Eaten a carton of ice cream by yourself. [ ]
4. Been to a therapist. [x]
5. Snuck out of the house. [ ]
6. Dyed your hair. [x]
7. Received a ticket. [ ]
8. Been in an accident. [ ]
9. Wished someone to die. [ ]
10. Been to a bar. [ ]
TOTAL SO FAR: 8

1. Been to a wild party. [ ]
2. Been to a Mardi Gras parade. [ ]
3. Drank more than four beers in a night. [ ]
4. Had a spring break in Florida. [ ]
5. Sniffed anything. [ ]
6. Wore black nail polish. [x]
7. Wore arm bands. [x]
8. Wore t-shirts with band names. [ ]
9. Listened to rap. [ ]
10. Owned a 50 Cent CD. [ ]
TOTAL SO FAR: 10

1. Dressed Gothic. [x] ( I AM goth... kinda hard not too XD )
2. Dressed prep.[]
3. Dressed punk. []
4. Dressed grunge. [ ]
5. Stole something. [ ]
6. Been too drunk to remember anything. [ ]
7. Blacked out. [ ]
8. Fainted. [ ]
9. Had a crush on a neighbor. [ ]
TOTAL SO FAR: 11

1. Snuck into someone else's room. [ ]
2. Had a crush on your friend. [ ]
3. Been to a concert. [x]
4. Dry-humped someone. [ ]
5. Been called a slut. [x] (My enemies sure say stupid things)
6. Called someone a slut. [ ]
7. Installed speakers in your car.[ ]
8. Broken a mirror. [ ]
9. Showered at someone of the opposites sex's house. [ ]
10. Brushed your teeth with someone elses toothbrush. [ ]
TOTAL SO FAR: 13

1. Consider/considered Ludacris your favorite rapper. [ ]
2. Seen an R-rated movie in theater. [ ]
3. Cruised the mall. [ ] (I don't cruise, I run away fastly! )
4. Skipped school. [ ]
5. Had surgery. [x] (Bloodclot in my left index finger DX)
6. Had an injury. [x]
7. Gone to court. [ ]
8. Walked out of a restaurant without paying/tipping. [ ]
9. Caught something on fire. [x]
10. Lied about your age. [ ]
TOTAL SO FAR: 15

1. Owned/rented an apartment. [ ]
2. Broke the law in the police's presence. [ ]
3. Made out with someone who had a gf/bf. [ ]
4. Got in trouble with the police. [ ]
5. Talked to a stranger. [x]
6. Hugged a stranger. [ ]
7. Kissed a stranger. [ ]
8. Rode in the car with a stranger. [ ]
9. Been harassed. [x]
10. Been verbally harassed. [x]
TOTAL SO FAR: 18

1. Met face-to-face with someone you met online. [ ]
2. Stayed online for 5 hours straight. [x]
3. Talked on the phone for more than 4 hours straight. [x]
4. Watched TV for 5 hours straight. [x]
5. Been to a fair. [x]
6. Been called a bad influence. [ ]
7. Drink and drive. [ ]
8. Prank-called someone. [x]
9. Laid on a couch with someone of the opposite sex. [x]
10. Cheated on a test. [x]
TOTAL SO FAR: 25

I am average... O.o; Is that like good or bad? XD I think it's middle right...? Right... 8D

-If You Have Less Then 10..write [I'm a Goody Goody.]
-If You Have More Than 10..write [I'm still a goody goody.]
-If You Have more Than 20..write [I'm average.]
-If You Have More Than 30..write [I'm a bad kid.]
-If You have more than 40..write [I'm a very bad kid.]
-If You Have more than 50..write [I'm a horrible person.]

I saw a few of my friends doing this so I decided to as well... =3


-------------------------------------------------

Clubs I'm in:

SugarStars -

-----------------------------------------------

Best friends:

Some one I look up too - ~The-Forbidden-Angel http://The-Forbidden-Angel.deviantart.com/journal/14906419/ http://The-Forbidden-Angel.deviantart.com/journal/14906419/ Wed, 03 Oct 2007 22:49:02 PDT
I was talking to a new friend of mine from real life... I have been hiding a lot of things in my life but right now, talking to her, I realize that she has the courage to talk to others about it while I... I hide it for so many years. In fact I can't get over a few certain things in my life which cause me even now to wish the pain would all just end somehow.

It's so annoying that... I can no longer write my way out of the pain, or just talk to one person and get it over with... I just hope tomorrow I can somehow mange to survive without showing how I'm truly feeling inside.

When I get the change to upload some pictures... believe me I'm sure they will be so dark... or bloody... or tearful... or maybe all three... either way... not in such a great mood... I hopeful that it will all go away, I'm sure it will...................

I think the song "Two Beds And A Coffee Machine" (By Savage Garden), "Hero" (By Superchick), and "Missing"(By Evenscence) all sum up my feelings one more then the others at times...

-------------------------------------------------

Clubs I'm in:

SugarStars -

-----------------------------------------------

Best friends:

Some one I look up too -

Very Best friend -

Twin sister -

Twin brother -

Shadow/Kadaj lover -

Devfriend -

]]> ~The-Forbidden-Angel http://The-Forbidden-Angel.deviantart.com/journal/14765493/ http://The-Forbidden-Angel.deviantart.com/journal/14765493/ Sun, 23 Sep 2007 22:34:11 PDT
Well for now my life has become rather hectic. @_@; Firstly I had right off on the first day of high school I had problems with a ex-boyfriend who was being a jerk and lying his ass off to his "friends" and "buddies" about why we had broken up. So I acutally had to get my parents to call his, to get it all worked out... kinda sad huh?

Now I had to deal with finally meeting my Dad's dad, Terry. Who I have only heard bad things about this weekand, so that was heck'a stressful. But it doesn't help that I'm feeling sickly because of French IV class, so I have to transfer out of it as fast as possible. But I guess it was okay, but the rest of my weekand was excellent...

Firstly I had a lovely time at my "friend's" house and all that, we stayed up late talking about random things and having a grand 'ol time. (<3 For her for making my life soo less stressful and loverly!)

Alright so the second major thing this weekand.... Today I acutally went to the mall... instead of those 5 sec in and out of all stores and get back home as fast as possible. I hate the mall, and hate shopping, makes me... twitchy. So like I went my with friend Visla (Not her acutal name) and went around to Spencers (Never heard of it before @_@' Dun go there little kiddies it's scary!!) and to hottopic and ice cream store and all that for like 3-4 hours? We were talking of random things as I was wearing my brand new Naruto headband. We sat down on a huge grassy area and talked of... things I can't remember. XD; Either way we were minding our own buisness right? So this random guy we both had no clue even exsisted walked up to us and was like, "Nice headband!" And of course me being the nice person I am, "Thanks, you like Naruto as well?" He replied "Totally!" Then he sat down next to us and was all like, "Want to see what I did last night?" I should have of course said no, but I was again being to nice, "Uh... sure?" And so he sssslllloowwwlllyyyy unzips his jacket, then pulls down his freaking shirt! To show us... his new nipple pericing then gets back up, "I'm usually not like this" Of course I'm just like in a 'whatever' mode, not really having gotten the full...ness of this event so I'm like "What are you like? Goth?" Then he replies, "No I'm emo!" Then walks away like nothing had happened. Both me and Visla finally look at each and just... laugh! XD' I mean seriously! What kind of event was THAT?!

So yeah... my weekand is coming to a close, my homework finish, and my brain tired as hell. So I'll be uploading all my Euglena (Toast) sketches along with a few new pictures soon once I get to my dad's place later on this week...

Night y'all
~Loveful Dragoon
-------------------------------------------------

Clubs I'm in:

SugarStars -

-----------------------------------------------

Best friends:

Very Best friend -
Twin sister -
Twin brother -
Shadow/Kadaj lover -
Chaos/Vincent lover -
Devfriend -

]]> ~The-Forbidden-Angel http://The-Forbidden-Angel.deviantart.com/journal/14301881/ http://The-Forbidden-Angel.deviantart.com/journal/14301881/ Thu, 23 Aug 2007 10:29:18 PDT
1. I'll respond with something random about you.
2. I'll tell you what song/movie reminds me of you.
3. I'll pick a flavor of jello to wrestle with you in.
4. I'll say something that only makes sense to you and me.
5. I'll tell you my first/clearest memory of you.
6. I'll tell you what animal you remind me of.
7. I'll ask you something that i've always wondered about you.
8. You MUST put this into your journal (if you haven't already).

And well blah >_>;;
1. My Name:
Sapphira
(first 3 letters of real name plus izzle)
2. Gangsta Name:
Saphizzle ( Sounds... lovely =.= not! D=< I cheated and added 'h' beacuse it's less retarded)
(fav colour and fav animal)
3. Detective Name:
Black Dragoon (=3 Me likie >=3 Sounds goth like me!)
(middle name, and current street)
4. Soap Opera Name:
Shadow Corliss ( o.o; Shadow part good, rest... not so >>' )
(the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first name, last 3 letters of mom's maiden name)
5. Star Wars Name:
Artsaair (XDD Art and air, dude... XDD )
(2nd favorite color, favorite drink)
6. Super Hero Name:
Blue Limonade ( XD The hell? )
(2nd letter of your first name, 3rd letter of your last name, any letter of your middle name, 2nd letter of your mom's maiden name, 3rd letter of you dads middle name, 1st letter of a siblings first name, last letter of your mom's middle name)
7. Iraqi Name:
Athheln ( *blink blink... blink...?* )
(mum/dads middle name)
8. Witness Protection Name:
Ann Grey ( @_@; Yeah right... )
(black, and the name of one your pets)
9. Goth Name:
Black Utsusu ( XD; >>; Dude utsusu would kill me for this)

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Alright let's see what else~? Oh well I'm starting my MANGA soon, it is called "Recreation of life" So you will be seening tons of random sketches/pictures of a few main characters from there, one being Utsusu, Rin, Zero, Gaia, and Meji, there will be a sixth one but until then I'm keeping him/her a secret. >=3

Basically the manga has been rated by moi for 15+ because it is...

Fighting/Romance/War/Gore/Language at times/Yaoi/Yuri/"Normal" couples

Simple plot (the description):
Machines like no other are finally built. The first prototypes of hundreds grow into full fledge weapons of mass destrution. Through suffering and pain these machines create a war unlike any other. Only three break away their chains that was forced on them, can they stop the recreation of life and save the others?

Main characters:
Utsusu Eimin (To reflect death): (Female)
Her word is 'revenge' and she is protoype 2. She is half wolf half human looking, however her entire body is metalic. Her weapon is her white revovler and she can transform into either a flying(metal wings) wolf/human girl or a full fledge metalic wolf creature.

Rin: (Male)
His word is 'loneliness'. He is prototype 4 and is basically a black neko boy/human. He is more based on just extreme speeds and cat like attacks. So his only weapons are cat movements and his nails can extend slightly and can cut through most things.
(He later becomes Gaia's lover)

Zero: (Female)
Her word is 'joy'. She is prototype zero and was the first of all prototypes, that makes her extremely knowledgeable with everything dealing with the machines after her. She is a very short kid fairy girl with magical abilities. She sometimes can go crazed and becames an 'evil' version of herself. Otherwise she is very bouncy and hyper intelligent with fairy flying ablities and powers. She is a healer for the most part but she can do great damage.
(She later falls in love with Meji but she dumps him in the end)

Side main characters:
Gaia: (Male)
He is PROJECT 3 and his word is 'loved'. He is more human then any other project and can bleed to death, which is his huge major weakness. However his speed is so fast like the speed of light that non can touch him (other then Rin from time to time). His defense is also very high to protect him from his weakness. His only weapons are his speed, fists, and feet.
(He later becomes Rin's lover)

Meji: (Male)
He is PROJECT 11 and his word is 'sorrow'. He is basically a vampire boy and his powers deal with his vampire ablities. He CANNOT harm girls whatsoever, it is part of his programming. Fire has no affect over him whatsoever. He normally shoves everyone away and pretends to absolutly hate attention when really he acutally enjoys it. He has flying abilities for the most part and sharp fangs. He can of course withstand the light and da... ]]> ~The-Forbidden-Angel http://The-Forbidden-Angel.deviantart.com/journal/10650662/ http://The-Forbidden-Angel.deviantart.com/journal/10650662/ Tue, 07 Nov 2006 17:39:16 PST
Hip hugger pants are yes very cool and look great most of the time... but I've seen at least 3/4 of my high school with girls running around with hip hugger pants that are 3-4 sizes to small. How does wearing WAY to tight of pants, and having your extra weight hang down make you cool. I find it distrubing and just plain gross. People wearing pants should have them fit around the waist so they aren't killing you and you can breath, or too big so that they are falling off.

And what about those shirts that show off your belly and really show off a girl's chest... those are just plain scary, I mean half the girls nowadays are running around with almost nothing, even little children, I don't get it. What ever happened to getting a room >_< I mean come'on who really wants to see a girl's chest when she has nothing, and is just trying to be "cool".

I must say that high school is so messed up, everyone is trying to be better then the other, and wearing less to do it in... heck even guys are wearing girl clothes; cloths that just look so wrong. I don't personally care if a guy is gay or nothing, since I'm bi; I couldn't care less. But I don't think guys should be wearing girls pants and look odd.

Okay and really, how does showing off a guy's boxers hot. GET A FREAKIN' BELT... rawr it's annoying to see a guy walking past with his pants halfway down his ass, I mean who would really want to see his boxers it's just disgracefully. I would perfer those guys get belts and stop trying to be gangsta...

Okay done pulling apart this so called new fashion, comment to tell me what you thinks on it...

]]> ~The-Forbidden-Angel http://The-Forbidden-Angel.deviantart.com/journal/9891643/ http://The-Forbidden-Angel.deviantart.com/journal/9891643/ Tue, 29 Aug 2006 02:07:22 PDT It bounces off into thy dirt,
The blood smearing onto thy ground,
I fall to mine knees,
My clothes drenched in mine own blood,
Gasping for breath I fear this be thy ending,
An ending I knew not what could have happened here tonight,
Blood dripping from thy wound in mine heart,
Breaths come shorter as the light grows dim,
Thy world of colors slowly fades,
Mine eyes grow faint in thy night's crisp air,
Thy shadow of mine own self stands over me,
Smirking down upon mine shattered soul,
Crest fallen is mine own heart now,
I have given into thy darkness,
Thy sorrow of the past floods mine eyes,
Dripping down as the rain pours upon mine broken body,
No single soul can hear mine calling,
As thy shadow lifts thy katana high,
It glints against thy shine of thy moon's grace,
Closing thy eyes from the fading light,
Thy own story hath ended,
As thy katana pierces mine heart clean through,
With a single last breath thy world goes dark,
Hath I fallen so?
They ending hath come as thy new day appears,
Thy sun's glow illuminating your world,
Cherish thy life or thy ending shall doth come,
But fear not traveler,
For you hath not fallen so yet,
Your own ending will come shortly... ]]> ~The-Forbidden-Angel http://The-Forbidden-Angel.deviantart.com/journal/9869716/ http://The-Forbidden-Angel.deviantart.com/journal/9869716/ Sun, 27 Aug 2006 05:54:51 PDT White feathers were falling like snow,
Blood dripping down like the rain,
It was a storm brewing of chaos...
Darkness was covering over the ruined city,
The bodies of many lay slew from the war above,
Her shinning orange eyes glinted with hatred,
His eyes growing with fear...
Her eyes burned into his very soul,
Her aurora burning around her tattered body,
Aching and sorrow filled her heart,
As she lifted her katana to him,
Closing her eyes she growled loudly...
Clean and smooth,
The blade rushed through his chest,
The blood spilled down his back...
He gasped for breath as the angel kept the katana there,
He couldn't speak,
His breaths harsh and ragged...
He pulled her closer and kissed her lips slowly,
Her eyes widened as he kissed her...
His eyes locked with her own,
As he was dying he held her close...
Her mind spun horrible as she realized everything,
But it was to late now...
He was dying and nothing would save him now,
Tears welled up in her closed eyes,
His last breath echoed slowly in her ear,
Her sobbing wouldn't stop her knew he was gone...
All the chances in the world wouldn't save him now,
Would save what they could have had,
Her heart felt ripped inside,
Like a toy that had been snapped in half,
And thrown aside roughly against the wall...
All she wanted was to be with him,
But she could because has gone to her,
And he would never return....
As her tears poured from her eyes,
She realized how deeply she had been in love...
And how she knew no one could ever take his place,
Where the happiness once was,
Only the emptiness is filled with the void that was him...
She had lost the one, who truly cared,
And she was paying for it with her heartless soul now,
For she would let no one enter his place,
And steal his spot in her heart...

By: Angel
August 27, 2006 ]]> ~The-Forbidden-Angel http://The-Forbidden-Angel.deviantart.com/journal/9830921/ http://The-Forbidden-Angel.deviantart.com/journal/9830921/ Wed, 23 Aug 2006 18:28:00 PDT In a room full lit by the florescent lights,
In my eyes it is darkened like my sky...
My world is slowly dimming into the shadows,
I call out for help in the darkness...
Holding my hand out against the black,
Yet this time no one is there to grab me,
And pull me back out of this room....
In the corner of my mind,
This room is a hell hole,
A void of pain that will always be here,
To torment my darkened soul...
My hand falls to my side,
As the once dim lights turn off completely
My eyes can no longer see the world of color,
My soul aches to see just one color,
To see something other then this darkened color...
But this room torments me so,
And lets no colors show...
My eyes sting from the aching of my soul,
And shed bloody tears of sorrow,
The wounds upon my arms reopen
Their pain stronger then before...
As the soul swallows the horrid pain up,
Feeling horrible to my stomach...
I fall to the blood floor,
Closing my eyes from the darkened room,
Only to see the darkness of my soul...
As memories flash by my closed eye lids,
Piercing me with the loneliness I now begin to feel,
Wondering how I used to be so bouncy,
When all I know of now is this aching...
I urn for someone to come into this darkened room,
And turn on the lights...
Even if they burn my eyes I just wish to see the colors again,
The colors of life that I can't remember,
My breaths ragged as the blood drains from my body,
I'm no longer the controller of my life...
I am being the controlled by the sorrow,
It wells up inside my strangled body...
I'm being torn about and thrown about by my past,
The blood from my arms seeps into the stained floor,
As my life slowly comes to an end...
Forgetting everything I just lie there,
Dying slowly from the inner chaos...
The wings of my soul broken now,
As my dreams have been shattered and torn apart,
My mind begins to stop...
What did I do to deserve this?
I just wanted everyone to be happy...
But I guess that wish will never come true now...
Forgive me for not being able to make you happy...
Will you take my bloody hand and rescue me before it's too late?
Or will you leave me here to die for all to see...?

Notes:
Just how I feel right now... Just feel like there is no one who will help me out with a problem I am having, that is pretty big. I dunno, maybe there is someone who will help me, but right now, there is no one... ]]> ~The-Forbidden-Angel http://The-Forbidden-Angel.deviantart.com/journal/9823276/ http://The-Forbidden-Angel.deviantart.com/journal/9823276/ Wed, 23 Aug 2006 03:21:41 PDT It's whispering in our ears...
Calling our names ever so softly,
Breathless on the dead wind that blows no more,
It sends shivers down your spine,
It keeps calling you towards it,
Closing your eyes you try to block it...
You can't fight it any longer stranger,
Its calling grows stronger in your ear,
Your body twitches with each calling,
Not giving up on you,
It calls louder now,
Saying your name over and over again...
Treacherous pain goes through your body,
Falling back against the ground it goes to you,
A shadow falls over your face...
It's calling you still,
Trying to ignore it you think of the future,
But it yells your name now furious,
You give into it and answer back,
Your voice echoes on the still air,
The sun burning brightly into your eyes,
The calling stops as you lie there...
Blood spilling from your wrists,
Cuts all over your body,
You hear your name but it echoes on the air...
As the darkness that follows you from behind,
Rips apart your soul,
And you die from the echoing of your past...
Fair thee well stranger...
For no longer can your past echo back...
Peaceful dreams can finally begin for you,
The nightmares are gone, fear not...
Just embrace the past until your death,
And it will then forever go away on the still air...


Notes: This is the first time I wrote a poem where I wasn't the main thing being talked about ... O.o Personally I hate all my poems, so I hate it ... Please tell me what you think of it if you have the time... ]]> ~The-Forbidden-Angel http://The-Forbidden-Angel.deviantart.com/journal/9811561/ http://The-Forbidden-Angel.deviantart.com/journal/9811561/ Tue, 22 Aug 2006 02:51:34 PDT
When you stare at the sky, looked the clouds and sit for a while. Sometimes you can see faces in the clouds, or pets, or even yourself ... why is that? Is it because those in the clouds are watching you ... or is it just because you have a wild imagination that can see many things?

When you are crying your eyes out, your heart hurts so much doesn't it? And you even feel as if you are falling. Is it because you really are falling, or is just because your body is connected into a whole?

When you talk about religon, you must wonder something. There are so many Gods, Goddessess, Angels, Grim Reapers, and many other things ... but is there really just one of those many, or do all of them exsist if you beleive in them. Also, how did you find out about them? They say the stories are true, they all do, and they say they all have proof, but in reality, are those who say and believe it, just trying to take control over the minds of many or is there really someone like that who controls us all?

When you think of the government, you need to think of something. Those in power, control your life and how we live in this world. When the views change, it is for the majority correct? But what about that other percent of people? Why do you have to leave out so many, no matter what their views are? That isn't very fair ...

Love is a question in itself isn't it? What is it? What does it do? How does it work and why? It's really strange don't you think that because of it we have families and because of it, we can be hurt so easily? A feeling that has a word, that can't be discribed controls are lives. How weird is that?

And the most popular question, why do we live? What is are puprose? Well I really can't say if I know the answer, we all have one special gift that we all have. Like I have the special gift to bring groups of different people together and become a whole. Don't you think that perhaps are special gifts might be the reason why we live? Or is there another reason? I don't think we will ever know ...

How did we come up with everything we have now? Ghosts, anime, aliens, ect. How did magic and dragons come into life? Is it because they do or did exsist at one point or in another place and contact us and we take them and show them off? Are there other dementions, other worlds, different people that look so much different then us?

Is there really a Heaven, or Hell, or a world inbetween for the ghosts? They say the only time you would ever know is when you are dying, that you see a light and dissapear. But is that really the case? Do you really see a light? Are their really angels and demons? Are their ghosts who watch over us? How do we know for sure?

Power, electricity, light, darkness ... what is it? Yes the world rotates, the sun gives off light to us. But in reality is that the answer that lies with the truth? Or is there such a thing as magic where it just happens, because it can? Sometimes you just need to ponder on that ...

The big bang, what is it? Was there really a bang and we suddenly started? Did God really come down and create us? Or are we some game to another place we can't even think up, something that was created by another place, and are we just pawns in their chess board?

Just some random things I think of when I am just sitting on my own, trying to figure out the world. I have no answer for any of them but my own opinion, but everyone's opinion is different, so how do we know which one is right? ]]> ~The-Forbidden-Angel http://The-Forbidden-Angel.deviantart.com/journal/9783407/ http://The-Forbidden-Angel.deviantart.com/journal/9783407/ Sat, 19 Aug 2006 14:25:09 PDT Down from where my heart used to be,
I ripped it out and threw it away...
That way I can make everyone else happy,
Now I am the only one, who has to deal with the pain,
I can finally make everyone happy...
No longer will they have to worry about me,
How much of a burden I was upon them,
Though they never would say it...
I can tell I was a burden in the first place,
Oh how my soul wishes I could soar into the sky,
My wings glinting in the sunlight...
So that I can just fly away from everyone,
So I can take the responsibility of keeping them happy,
But taking my soul and leaving forever...
My arms are stained with the scars of pain,
My soul crying forever in a sea of blood,
No one knew how hard I tried to keep them all happy,
But no I know it's impossible...
And my only wish is to make them happy one last time,
So I think the thoughts that everyone fears...
Of death and bloody pain,
No one hears my screams as I shriek out into the crisp air,
Just wanting to end everything,
But I can't leave...
For they all have stopped my body from ending it all,
But in my soul I've died again...
And my wings are stained with my blood,
The knife falls from my hands...
And I begin to cry my eyes to the point that my heart hurts,
I can't do it...
I have no will to end my pain,
I don't understand why they care so much...
I'm the worst nightmare to walk this world,
My footsteps echo painfully to others ears...
Why do they care about me?
What have I ever done to deserve kindness or love?
I just become a burden on their souls and body,
And they still keep me alive for it,
I don't understand and I most likely never will,
I won't end it...
But this pain won't go away and I know it,
It has burned my soul and is etched into the fabric of my mind,
Of my thoughts of death...
They will never leave me alone,
My mind and body go against my true feelings,
And control my ever thought...
But it seems as if every time I tell someone this I make things worse,
I have lost my path and not sure what turn to make,
So many choices and I don't know which one is right...
Can't anyone tell me what path to take?
What pathway can I take in life so no one is hurt?
Someone please hear my cries for once,
And just find my aching soul and free me from myself,
I don't know how much more pain in my life I can take,
My past haunts me each night...
And I can't do anything but cry and wish for it to end,
My old habits echo into my mind...
As I fall into utter darkness,
Just wishing to be found by all I care about...
I need someone to grab my hand and pull me back out from this dark world,
A dark world created to punish myself...
When I couldn't make everyone happy,
I'm falling again...
I cannot fly back out on my own,
I have no more will power against my pain,
It just keeps getting worse and worse,
And I can't see anymore...
Why can't I just make everyone happy?
Why does life have to be so cruel against everyone?
Is there really happiness?
Or just something that prolongs the pain for a while,
Like a drug you need to take every hour...
Or else you just fall like I have,
I sob in the darkness,
Wishing to be found by someone...
Anyone...
Can't someone hear my sobs?
Why won't someone grab my hand and pull me back up...
Pull me back into the light,
Into a world where the pain just disappears,
Where my dark world is filled with pure light,
And my heart sings out in joy...
Is there even such a world of light where I can be free?
I doubt it highly...
But it is a nice thought to have,
To think of a hope that may never happen,
Where someone comes and rescues me because they care,
Hope can crush everyone,
But right now it is crushing my heart,
And I pay for the pain in my soul as I always have...
I try to ignore the pain,
But it just won't disappear from my dark world,
It seems to have taken over my heart,
So now I bleed where an empty whole once had a heart there,
I want to be selfish...
And to be the happiest girl in the world for once,
I want to feel happiness instead of having to bear the pain for everyone,
I want happiness...
Is that to much to ask for? ]]> ~The-Forbidden-Angel http://The-Forbidden-Angel.deviantart.com/journal/9778424/ http://The-Forbidden-Angel.deviantart.com/journal/9778424/ Sat, 19 Aug 2006 02:29:36 PDT As my heart is ripped out,
They both take a half of my heart,
Falling to my knees,
A gaping whole now resides in my chest...
My heart now broken in two,
Stolen by two instead of one...
One is the angel of light,
The other a demon of shadows,
Both bring happiness to me,
I thought the angel was the one...
But now the demon hath half of my heart...
As the moon rises into the darkened sky,
An eerie glow shines down on me,
The world goes black as the color vanishes...
Wings of my soul spread forth from my back,
Closing my eyes from the pain,
Unable to choose which one I love more...
I move my head over the place my heart once was,
And think of them both,
How much they mean to me...
Unknown to them how much they really mean to me,
Wishing to be with them both,
I search their souls...
Wishing to see who will piece my heart back together,
And steal me away from his dark world...
The one who will never hurt me...
Who will kiss my lips and hold me close...
Now I fly off into the night sky,
Waiting for one of them to find me,
And piece my ripped heart back together...

Notes:

Inspired from this picture I drew yesterday.

It is also how I feel a bit... I thought I found the one for me, but it seems someone else came into my life and changed that around. I'm still trying to figure it out, and it hurts a lot inside my heart. It does feel like my heart has been torn in two and they each have a half of it.

The one I refer to in the poem as the "demon of shadows" doesn't know I like him, or that I'm falling for him. While the "angel" for sure knows I love him.

I just hope that I can choose the right one in the end ... but who knows what will happen.

I really wish I could tell the "demon of shadows" that I liked him, I'm just to shy, nervous, and scared... man being human sucks at times... and so does love... ]]> ~The-Forbidden-Angel http://The-Forbidden-Angel.deviantart.com/journal/9766943/ http://The-Forbidden-Angel.deviantart.com/journal/9766943/ Fri, 18 Aug 2006 01:22:55 PDT
Once I walked alone...
I stood before the path,
Afraid and alone,
My own tears falling,
Down my flushed cheeks,
Darkness within my eyes...
I am the forgotten,
My name buried into the sands of time,
The moon's gently glow reflecting against my darkened eyes,
My once bright glowing orange eyes,
But no longer...
For time has passed,
I spread my wings once more,
Fearing I will be shot down again,
That I will fall once more,
Crisp night air stings my skin...
Blood drips as the wounds reopen,
Fearing the past,
My blood drains from my body,
The only way I show my fear,
The arrow of death and destruction...
Pierces my heart,
I'm falling again,
My fears reborn anew,
Closing my eyes I fear the worst,
The beating within my heart stops ever so slowly,
I've fallen now,
However this time it's different,
Warm arms catch me and drape around me,
Heating my already frozen body,
Gently fingers rub against my cold cheek,
Memories of pain flash by,
Before my closed eyelids,
Sweet lips press against mine,
Wounds of old close,
The blood now wiped away,
Soft beats of life flow through my veins,
Snapping my eyes once more,
My frail body in his grasp,
A knight in shining black armor,
Time has ended now,
Stretching out my wings,
My eyes glow brightly glinting in the moons light,
I do what I desire most...
And kiss him back shyly

By The forbidden angel (aka Angel)
Poem wrote on July 23, 2006 ]]> ~The-Forbidden-Angel http://The-Forbidden-Angel.deviantart.com/journal/9746924/ http://The-Forbidden-Angel.deviantart.com/journal/9746924/ Wed, 16 Aug 2006 10:36:22 PDT I'm alone, no where to run, no where to hide
They echo in the emptiness of the room
No one but me can hear the words clearly
Closing my eyes I can hear my screams
Echos of the past flash by
Snapping back to reality I lean against the window sill
A darkness sucks my eyes into it, pulling me forward
My soul leaves my body soaring into the nightsky
The wings of my imgination spread forth from my back
My eyes glued to mu soul watch me closely
The wind rushes through my hair, I move the hair from my face
Sighing heavily I lay back wishing it were real
The lonliness stings my heart as I blink away the pain
Tired my eyes close resting for only a minute
I see my friends, the one I loved etched into my dream
He grabs my hand and tells me to follow, so I do
Placing his hands around my waist he kisses me neck softly
It's dark here in my dream, but he is there
Smiling softly I look over and see my friends
They all grin and smile at me saying it's alright in the end
The dream ends as I sit up tired realizing it wasn't real
Crying softly I feel alone until I realize something
They were there just now, grinning, in my heart
I look up at the sky and smiles wiping my tears away
We aren't alone, they are always there in your heart
And I don't need to cry now, as I feel so loved... ]]> ~The-Forbidden-Angel http://The-Forbidden-Angel.deviantart.com/journal/9683863/ http://The-Forbidden-Angel.deviantart.com/journal/9683863/ Thu, 10 Aug 2006 21:24:45 PDT It's raining my tears,
A cold breeze blows on the still night...
My screams echo into the darkness,
Unheard by all...
Blood splattered along the roads of life,
My door to my own destiny ahead of me,
Blood is pouring out from under the door frame...
I can hear screams echoing from my past,
Tattered clothes hang from body,
Ripped, shredded, filthy, and blood stained,
Once glowing orange eyes,
Glint in pain as the darkness covers over them...
I put my hand out in front of me,
Close my eyes from the pain,
From the pain I have inflected on others...
Grabbing the doorknob to my destiny,
Tears pour down my flushed cheeks,
It's really over isn't it?
Game over indeed,
With no save spot to return to,
The blood oozes out from under the door,
Staining the ground into a crimson brown shade,
Winds of time blow my air about,
Freezing my mind on one thought,
Is this really the end?
Broken, bleeding, and torn wings protrude from my back,
Once pure white...
Only now to be stained red with the pain,
Screams echo louder now from my past...
The winds of time blow harder,
Time slows as the doorknob is turned
The lock clicks silently,
Arms wrap around my body,
Hold me tightly not wishing to let go,
My cheeks burn red and whip around quickly,
His gaze burns my soul eternally,
He puts a hand on my cheek and smiles at me...
I can't help but cry in happiness,
Burring my face into his chest,
He holds me tightly as if he was always there for me,
Gripping the front of his shirt,
I don't ever want him to let go now,
Rubbing my back softly,
I feel a growing emotion within my heart,
Something I thought didn't exist,
It's so deep inside me,
How far it goes I will never be able to comprehend,
I just know it is there,
And forever more it shall stay in my heart...
Controlling me and always reminding me of him,
His sweet face snaps me back to reality,
As his sweet lips touch my own,
Turning red with shyness,
He pulls me closer and kisses me passionately,
The winds stop howling my screams...
In fact the are gone,
The blood from my wounds and wings heal over,
Wanting more I wrap my arms around his neck,
And kiss him back deeper,
My heart stops suffering,
Suddenly I know that he was the one I was searching for,
The one in my dreams,
Who saved me from the world...
Even though he come from no where,
It's him...
The one who can save my soul,
I have no doubt, even if he left me...
He is still the one...
Always searching for him, now in my grasp,
I rest my head on his chest,
Listening to the beating of his heart...
And smile happily as he holds me still,
Never letting go,
This memory will be with me always,
Proving that true love does exist,
And that dreams do come true...
It just takes a while for the winds of time to blow,
Before you finally meet true love...

By The Forbidden Angel
August 10, 2006 ]]> ~The-Forbidden-Angel http://The-Forbidden-Angel.deviantart.com/journal/9661427/ http://The-Forbidden-Angel.deviantart.com/journal/9661427/ Wed, 09 Aug 2006 09:05:57 PDT
Lights flicker off
Darkness encases my body
The glow gone
A gentle stroke
The curtains pull back to the night sky
An eerie glow from the moon
Clouds of my eyes
Pulling the blanket close
Shutting my eyes tightly
Tears escaping my eyes
They pour down my burning cheeks
Loneliness like never before
Is all I can see now
My hearts feels pierced
Bleeding tears with me
Craning my neck up
My eyes closed tight from the world
Memories of old stab my thoughts
Those who hurt me
Who threw me aside
Who stabbed me in the back
The scars return 100 fold stronger
It's getting worse and I know it
Pain of scars headed over
Bleed once more
As if laughing at my frailty
Clutching the blanket tightly
My hand turns white in response
I really do feel like a fallen angel
Once able to soar
Now only to fall and bleed
Unable to die or forget
Eternal rejection from all
The tears pour faster
Stinging my eyes
I need him now
The one I love so deeply
If I could never be with him
I'd just bleed and fall...
Fall the farthest I've ever done
I need to feel his touch
His kind heart
But all I can do is sod in the darkness
While I sit alone
In the darkness of my sorrow
In my room pitch black
The one place that hides my tears
But never from mine own eyes...

By The Forbidden Angel
August 9, 2006 ]]> ~The-Forbidden-Angel http://The-Forbidden-Angel.deviantart.com/journal/9627177/ http://The-Forbidden-Angel.deviantart.com/journal/9627177/ Mon, 07 Aug 2006 10:14:29 PDT Flowing above the breeze,
Zooming by all the moments within time,
Flying high into the sky,
Wings of the purest white glint against the glow of the sun,
Unable to move backwards,
Only able to go with the winds,
The howling winds of time shriek in pain,
As a gruesome battle below carries on,
Tears burn down the angel's eyes,
Her glinting orange eyes saddened,
The flow of time comes crashing down upon the angel,
The blood of man within the winds sorrow,
The screams of many echoing among the winds howl,
Shadows fall over the angel,
Wings turning to pure black,
Eyes glowing orange but glint evil,
Blood lust takes over the angel's destiny,
The winds scream out now in pain,
As the angel soars down to the battle,
Not resisting the calling of her heart for their blood,
An aching within her heart...
A light faint beating
Unnoticeable by the angel,
The lust for blood to strong now,
The darkness has taken over now,
The battle rages on as the screams of time,
Faintly yell out in the background...
Unheard by the warlords who yell out their demonic commands...
Over come by the surges of pain,
They listen to their masters as the soldiers fight on,
Falling to the ground one by one...
Glowing orange eyes pierce the fallen.
A laughter is heard the charms the fallen soldiers into death,
Calling to their hearts as they trip into the depths of time,
Black clouding over their eyelids...
As the scars of their lives disappear into the rifts of time,
Is this what we have become...?
A world of torture from darkness...?
Now fall solider as your master commands you to kill,
And allow me to help you into the winds of time,
Go ... now or die the harder way,
This is the end of your story as the words drive into your mind,
This is the end ... of the nightmares...


By The Forbidden Angel
July 26, 2006 ]]> ~The-Forbidden-Angel