http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:The-Y-End&section=today deviantART RSS for by:The-Y-End en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Fri, 04 Dec 2009 14:24:10 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://The-Y-End.deviantart.com/journal/27608834/ http://The-Y-End.deviantart.com/journal/27608834/ Tue, 06 Oct 2009 03:07:49 PDT But sometimes we didn't realize that may be we are the one who made that wall...
How much the courage do you have to break that wall?
Most people would choose the safety way...

Do I have courage to break my own wall?
I don't know....may be no...but it can be yes anytime....
Something that make me hesitate....are my parents...
But I know....sooner or later....I would make them sad with my own choice of life...
Because for now...my freedom is my everything.....

When the time comes...there's a possibility that I wouldn't hesitate at all to break the wall...
May be the others would be sad and disappointed...
But that's the way I am...

I'm just a human who live my life...my own life...in this mother earth...
That's all...


~~~

My sis :


Friends in real life :




Our Lovely Community ^^ :


Others :


]]> ~The-Y-End http://The-Y-End.deviantart.com/journal/25321202/ http://The-Y-End.deviantart.com/journal/25321202/ Mon, 15 Jun 2009 03:04:00 PDT
Even at some time we thought that our choice is wrong. But it wouldn't make us wrong to choose that. Because whatever it is would always 'give' us something.
That's what I believed.

I feel that at some point in my life, I have to make an important choice. And most of it would make me confuse. What path should I choose? Sometimes I just keep it flow. Not choosing anything till the chance come to me and makes me choose.

I'm grateful with the way I'm now. With what I have and what I don't have. With what I could do and with what I couldn't.
Even so, I'm still not satisfied, I still want more. Sometime I feel the path that I chose isn't really for me, that it's only a stepping stone to the one that 'right' for me.

Few days ago I took a quiz, a fortune telling or something like that. It's just for fun though. But when the result told me that "There's still enough time yet for you to take different path", then I felt a thump in my heart. "Is it true? That I still have time to take different path?".
May be it's the time for me to thinking it over again. What do I really want to do?



My sis :


Friends in real life :




Others :


]]> ~The-Y-End http://The-Y-End.deviantart.com/journal/22725813/ http://The-Y-End.deviantart.com/journal/22725813/ Thu, 22 Jan 2009 03:27:26 PST I just walking and keep going through the days. Life goes on calmly....but still fun.

I took some fun trip....met nice people, new people....and saw how beautiful the earth is.
I always want to go traveling around the world. But now I just want to travel around my country first (may be before another countries...hehehe....).

Now I love my own country more than before. I love the nature more. I became silent infront of its beautifulness.
It's really a hidden paradise.

I feel like not wanting anything anymore, because what already here is enough. (well, except a real digital camera and more travel to many places...hehehhe...)

So, just go on....and on.....
Past is a past, now is now and future would be a future.....

~Peaceful mind become a peaceful 'world'~






My sis :


Friends in real life :


dan lain-lain ahh (tlalu males masukin semua....hehehe....gomen ne...)

Club :


]]> ~The-Y-End http://The-Y-End.deviantart.com/journal/18345314/ http://The-Y-End.deviantart.com/journal/18345314/ Fri, 16 May 2008 00:52:26 PDT What I want most for now is....
VACATION!!!!!!
I need it.
I want to go to Bali, Lombok, Wakatobi, Papua...
Well, okay...the last one is really difficult to be real. The cost for airplane to Papua is enough for small & short vacation itself. It's cheaper to go to Singapore than Papua. Hiks.

What are you thinking?! Working and living by yourself in this big city. Yes, what was I thinking when I decided this? Hmm, well, I don't know ^_^;;;
Yes, may be I just search for problems. And yes, it IS lonely to live just by yourself. I'm alone here. Even though there're friends, but it's still different than a family.

Every day, since morning till evening I stay at office. At night I just stay on my bed while reading, listening or watching anything in my lovely laptop to find a little fun for my tired body and mind.
In the weekend, I spend it for a walk or just hang out and find other place than my office or my room.
But sometimes, when it's tiresome to go out, I just spend the whole day in my small room.
Yes, it's boring. And it's tiresome. Sometimes, I just want to go out from this life and do something more lively. But I didn't. At least, not yet.

But you know, I still love this life. I enjoy it. I TRY to enjoy it. Because there's no advantage for living while cursed the life itself.
So I just keep walking and see how my life would go and where it would ended. Until I reach 'home' and at last can rest my body and soul.

Just try to enjoy life. In some meaning it's really interesting. How problems come to us. How we strunggle to solve it. How we learn from it. And how much we grow up after facing many problems in our life. Just enjoy it.
Life is not beautiful. But still, we can found some beauty within it.

]]> ~The-Y-End http://The-Y-End.deviantart.com/journal/17484936/ http://The-Y-End.deviantart.com/journal/17484936/ Mon, 24 Mar 2008 00:44:13 PDT
My friends are my world
My friends are my home

But now it's broken apart.

So girls, it's time to renovate the 'house'.
I'm begging you......

May be I'm egoist. I left you all, but I don't want you to change and leave me.
I want all of you to stay there, not changing much, just like before. A happy & fun friendships.
I come 'home' to take a break from the hectic and coldness world. But I almost can't see my 'house' and it's broken my heart.
Because, even though I'm going to the real (=adult) world, but I'm still wanting a 'home' to rest.
I know, that's my egoism.
But the world is moving, everyone is moving, life is moving...

I can't say much back then, not even a half that I want to say in my heart.
I told this and that, but I'm not the one that facing it directly with you.

The world is full of rules, norms, & belief systems. And each of us have different opinions, different point of view.
But, let us all take it off. Put those aside. Let's not talk about right or wrong, just see as grey, not black or white, not "should" or "shouldn't".
RUles, just rules...norms just norms....that just Human made.
Can't we see each other outside those things?
We are still human, we are still friends, even without counting all of that, aren't we?
Or did you thinking & counting that to make a friend?

It's not that I'm not affected by those things.
I just don't want that only because of those matter, I loss my precious friends.

What would you feel if you're in her position? What would you feel if you're in my position?
What would you feel if you're in others position?
Can you really say that what you and others did really right or wrong?
Even 'your logic' say it's wrong, there's still a 'feeling'. Because we're human that has a 'feeling', that's why there's no more the absolute thing in 'right' or 'wrong'.

I'm writing this because I'm bad in talking, the words that come out from my mouth isn't exactly what I want to say.

Enough for me to be chameleon in social life, but I want to be just the way I am in front of you.
I won't take side.

I'm disappointed with everyone, I'm disappointed with myself. I'm disappointed because I have expectancy in our friendships. I hope it's not only in happy and fun way, I hope it'll be deeper.
Don't too hard to others.
Don't too hard to yourself.
Say sorry to others and to yourself.
Give forgiveness to others and to yourself.

I know it's hard. It's hard for all of us. And I only can talk, now I even just writing.
I just want to say that I DON'T WANT to losing You. All of you are important to me.

So, let's renew our friendships...
I know, we need times....We're all hurted, disappointed....
But please, DON'T GIVE IT UP..........

Let's rebuild our HOME.

Pleassseeee.....Onegaiiiiii....TT_TT

]]> ~The-Y-End http://The-Y-End.deviantart.com/journal/17158083/ http://The-Y-End.deviantart.com/journal/17158083/ Mon, 03 Mar 2008 01:05:00 PST
"Tiba2" itu yg kurasain skrg....Smua berubah....Bkn krn sblmnya tdk ad prubahan, cm smua perubahan yg ada skrg lmyn 'besar'....Agak kuatir si, tp itulah hidup....

Since I leave Ygy to stay in Jkt, I'm facing various problems....and I realize, it's not just me....
It looks like everyone, my 'nakama' in Ygy also facing their own problems......having their hard times too.....Titan, Osachin, mCi and others.....quiet a problem...that tend to change us....Is that right girls??

Everyone around me take their big step. A big step to their path in life.

May be I really am stupid. Things that I love can be found in Ygy. The one that I love is also in Ygy. I love the most every seconds when I'm with my nakama in Ygy. But I choose to work and stay in Jkt. Why?
Well, I myself don't know. May be I just follow the stream, but I 'choose' to follow 'this' stream.

Manytimes I think that I just find problems when came to Jkt, but still.....I insist to keep staying, plunging in the stream and not swimming to the warm and safety land. Why?
I also don't understand, and I have to wait to get the answer itself. I think I would find it, the big meaning behind the path that I choose. Yes, it's my PATH. A step forward to form my future-self.
And I wouldn't regret it.
Because it's life.

Now, I think I've grab some of its meaning. If I didn't go to Jkt, I wouldn't meet Lypyon....I wouldn't 'meet' crazy people in spiritual mailing list (yes, it's spiritual mailing list! And they're really fun).....I wouldn't get close like before with erlin......And I wouldn't be like myself now..... Yes, I'm changing, not much may be, but still changing....

Can't say it's better or not than before. But at least I'm 'moving'...like everything around me....move forward.....
I just trying to live.........living my 'own' life......
Because, even though it's not beautiful.........life is 'still' beautiful.........

Today I can say it positively.....But tomorrow may be I would think negatively......However, I'm not alone......Everyone try their best too......So I can't give up easily, right?
You know, I'm curious with what await us in the future....I hope it would be a sparkling & dazzling one

]]> ~The-Y-End http://The-Y-End.deviantart.com/journal/15757004/ http://The-Y-End.deviantart.com/journal/15757004/ Sat, 01 Dec 2007 22:31:35 PST It's so long, but also so fast.
So long to wait until next holiday to go to Yogyakarta.
But also so fast, it's already 10 months that I miss for many things that happened in there. So fast, that everyone already changed, at least for their drawings. They all have grown up to a better level. And I'm here, just like before, without any improvement.

May be I should just forget it, and continue with what I'm doing now. But I can't and I don't want. I still love it and can't leave it. Even though there's no time anymore for it.
May be I'm a fool. But I just a human who want to have something that can make me give all my best for it.

I've already tasted the sweetness of the fullest life. Now, it's haunting me. It becomes an addiction.
I just want to feel it again, without going back to the past.

I'm still searching for the right path. And the right time. For now, just like before, I let my self follow to the stream.
And see what would coming in.

]]> ~The-Y-End http://The-Y-End.deviantart.com/journal/15756960/ http://The-Y-End.deviantart.com/journal/15756960/ Sat, 01 Dec 2007 22:27:50 PST It's so long, but also so fast.
So long to wait until next holiday to go to Yogyakarta.
But also so fast, it's already 10 months that I miss for many things that happened in there. So fast, that everyone already changed, at least for their drawings. They all have grown up to a better level. And I'm here, just like before, without any improvement.

May be I should just forget it, and continue with what I'm doing now. But I can't and I don't want. I still love it and can't leave it. Even though there's no time anymore for it.
May be I'm a fool. But I just a human who want to have something that can make me give all my best for it.

I've already tasted the sweetness of the fullest life. Now, it's haunting me. It becomes an addiction.
I just want to feel it again, without going back to the past.

I'm still searching for the right path. And the right time. For now, just like before, I let my self follow to the stream.
And see what would coming in.

]]> ~The-Y-End http://The-Y-End.deviantart.com/journal/14979657/ http://The-Y-End.deviantart.com/journal/14979657/ Tue, 09 Oct 2007 01:36:24 PDT
I miss Yogya....I miss all yaoier there...
I miss the time when we laugh.....when we play yaoi games....when we did our yaoi 'homework'...heheh...

I want to draw for manga/doujinshi again...but don't have the time..... I want to continue and finish my story "Shara", but there's no idea anymore....

I really miss those time...when I have free times to do all what I want......

I had a dream last night, that my bro come to my place in Jakarta. And I made him a cup of hot tea.
Then I wake up and realize that it's just a dream. I really am missing him so much....(really a bro complex ne...hehhehehe).

But I'm happy now....My lovely friend came to Jkt, and I'll meet her next thursday.... I also have plan to meet with Lypyon (Lygia-chan, my sis's friend)...
Really can't wait for that time.....A mini yaoier meeting.....hihihih.....

Yaoi...is my vitamin.....Yaoi is my fun....
Yaoi make me happy....Yaoi make me have many nice friends.....Yaoi is the best....!!!!
Hehehheheh........

]]> ~The-Y-End http://The-Y-End.deviantart.com/journal/14749641/ http://The-Y-End.deviantart.com/journal/14749641/ Sat, 22 Sep 2007 21:20:52 PDT Wanna go to outer planet.....to other place where I can do anything I want....
And then I questioned again about why I choose the Job I have now.
Just because of the status? Because of the money? For the experience?
But it really stress me out......

Well, but it's a sign...A sign that God really is love me. Why? Because I pray for it...I pray to get a job, and may be if it's in Jakarta that would be nice. Then I got it.....
I pray for the 'chikara', for the strength....I pray for the courage to face anything.....Then I got the problems that need my strength and courage to overcome it.....
I try not to think it too much, but still, I think about it.....But, well.....It's okay.....Even if the problems that I facing would be bigger than this and I have to sign out someday, that would be just fine....heheh....
Well, I am waiting the chance to take another step of my life...The different one......so that I would be able to take a closer step to my wanted future......
Hm, but it is still make me depressed.....

Oh, but there's also a good news....Got a new friend, yaoi fans too....Heheh....and now I can share my lovely and greatest hoby...Yaoi....hehehehehe.......(really a yaoi freak nee....)

I just can't wait for another holiday. Few days free from the work...

]]> ~The-Y-End http://The-Y-End.deviantart.com/journal/14481248/ http://The-Y-End.deviantart.com/journal/14481248/ Tue, 04 Sep 2007 02:28:41 PDT
I've already finished in downloading my D Grayman scanlation to the newest one. And now, I'm excite to make a doujinshi.....A nice idea pop up in my mind....KYyaaaaaa >_< .....Tyki X Allen....... hehehhe...... It would be a little angst but, still.....make me nosebleed when I visualized it in my head.....-*_*-
I also want to make Kanda X Allen, but haven't got any idea yet....fuf fu fu ......
The problem is....when I have the times to make it.....and with that kind of artwork?!!! &^$#$%@#$%
grumble...grumble......*should I make my friend to make it for me...khe khe khe......*
But it would be nice if I can make it by myself......gwaahhhh +_+ Need to practice my drawing more........!!!!!

And how about my story "Shara" and the other one...?!!! Fuuuhhh, many works to do.....That's why I prefer to write a fanfic....At least, I can write it in my spare time at office times....heheheheh.......

Ups, need to continue my works......

]]> ~The-Y-End http://The-Y-End.deviantart.com/journal/14298338/ http://The-Y-End.deviantart.com/journal/14298338/ Thu, 23 Aug 2007 04:30:52 PDT Just that, again and again I repeat it.

Don't have time to continue my story, my fanfiction, my doujinshi (that still as an idea in my head) or even just to scratch or draw something. Well, not that I 'really' don't have the time, but it's just that I already feel to tired that I don't want to do anything....Except to read some shounen manga (like D.Grayman) and ofcourse Yaoi manga...heheheheh.......I can't stand without my Yaoi manga......It's my vitamin.....fu fu fu fu......*smirk*
I think it's a time for me to take a break.....

]]> ~The-Y-End