CANNOT CHANGE MOOD BLAGH. I'M NOT HUNGRY. D8

The world's been kinda screwy lately.

Tsunamis and earthquakes left and right, over 200 people absent from school from the flu, friends breaking up who were dating successfully, hard classes, unsuccessfully applying for a job...I feel like my life is being put into perspective.

Bad things happen in the world. Simple as that. People die, people kill, and people lie. I feel like I need to step up and become a part of the bigger world--not just of my secluded life in high school.

I've realized I seriously need to step up my game in school. Without good grades, where am I gonna get in life? Without graduating high school, without graduating college, I won't get far. No one will take me seriously, and I won't be able to make a difference in this world.

My mom told me, a while back, that whatever I do in this world I need to do something to give back. Whether it's giving proceeds from my graphic novel to charity, or donating clothes from my fashion line to people in need, I need to give back, and I WANT to give back.

I know I need to get a job, and I'm trying really hard to find one. But who's gonna hire someone with no retail experience to work in retail? :/ I need to have a way to get money that I can start saving with, so I can be prepared for whatever the future may hold.

I'm sorry for dumping all this on you guys, and I'm sorry my thoughts are so muddled and in a seemingly random order. I'm just typing out my thoughts as they come to me.

I feel really bad for neglecting my deviantArt. Everything I've been uploading are just cosplay photos and stuff I've drawn weeks previously. I haven't been able to make any grand masterpiece or even just something worthy of going up in my gallery for a long time now. Ironic that I want to go into art, and yet I haven't had any time to focus on it because I need to work hard in school to be successful down the road. :/

Then comes the matter of a career. So many people I know have their futures planned out exactly to a T. Me, I just know I want to go into art...something that allows me to be physically creative. Right now it's narrowing down to fashion/costume design or graphic design...something like that. I haven't the slightest idea where I'm going for school after high school though.

I like to plan things out, and because of this little uncertainty in my future, I've been really stressed. With my high school career drawing closer and closer to an end, and with post-high school life drawing closer and closer, I feel like I need to hurry up and make a decision. I need to jump on the bandwagon and figure out what I want to spend the rest of my life doing.

The world feels so big and daunting to a little naive teenager like me. I just want my designs to be accepted by the world so I can live a happy life with my future family. I'm afraid of having to face the real world and worry about money or safety or health or whatever.

I don't really know how to explain these thoughts to people verbally...it's hard to talk about something so emotional that you mix up your words and get tongue-tied all the time. Writing lets you edit and really put thought into what you're trying to communicate.

I'm also pretty sure I'm getting sick like the rest of the school. My throat is killing me and my nose is running and I'm progressively coughing more and more...I really don't want to get sick now. I already have a ton of work to do.

Speaking of sickness, my school put gallon-sized jugs of hand sanitizer everywhere...I'm avoiding them because I know that everyone will be using them and all of the germs will just collect there in one place. I'll use my own hand sanitizer, thanks.

Thanks for reading, guys. http://Thegirlinred93.deviantart.com/journal/27307163/ Sat, 19 Sep 2009 19:38:33 PDT

Tagged by and

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1.Post there rules in your journal.
2.Each tagged person should post 12 facts of themselves.
3.Tagged people should write a journal/blog about these facts.
4.In the end, Tag and name 12 people.
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1. I dyed my hair today. :3 [link]
2. I have attended 10 anime/sci-fi/comic conventions, first one was in 2005, most recent was last week.
3. I want to get into fashion design or costume design.
4. I saw Hayao Miyazaki in person and couldn't stop crying because I was so moved.
5. I could probably survive on calamari, ramen, and milk. XD (I LOVE those <3)
6. I won "Best Ed Elric" at NDK 2009. 83
7. I got the original sketch of this: [link] signed by Vic Mignogna and Aaron Dismuke.
8. My car is a '06 Jeep Liberty and omg I love it so much.
9. I hate Twilight but love parodying Edward Cullen. [link] [link] [link] [link] (all different links)
10. I have known *Smudgeandfrank, ~peachwolf74, *SageAndora, and ~Moonpie1220 since kindergarten and I still hang out with them today. 8D
11. I want a charmander. Seriously. Since like, I was six. D8
12. I like doing tags but I don't like tagging people SO I'M NOT TAGGING ANYONE AFLJLDFSJASDFA

Hey All--

I wanted to update my journal with a snazzy new CSS, so here you go. :3 Do you guys like it?

Anyway, I got my wisdom teeth pulled yesterday, so I've been hanging out an being lazy. XD
I've heard from friends that while on vicodin you get really weird dreams? I've yet to have any so far or act really loopy or anything...but this morning I woke up at 5:30 with this really powerful urge to go sell girl scout cookies. No idea why.

Anyway, I'm off to go eat more mushy foods and work on stuff for NDK. Baaaaii~