http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:Tinkerbell010277&section=today deviantART RSS for by:Tinkerbell010277 en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Sun, 20 Dec 2009 20:19:12 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://Tinkerbell010277.deviantart.com/journal/28560734/ http://Tinkerbell010277.deviantart.com/journal/28560734/ Wed, 25 Nov 2009 03:08:09 PST
November 2 , 2009 was perhaps the long awaited moment for my family to hear that I have finally let him go for good. My oh my ...I still remember when he said you are lying to yourself , you cant leave me . I would admit to myself that I still love him and no one , no human ever could ever replace him ( as of the moment ) but I need to move on with life without him.

October 25, 2009 when I first read this article from a local sunday paper and I thought of writing it down here twas like a week that I havent heard anything from him .I got worried because something migth have happend to him . Good if he asked that he would want some space but there was nothing and I guess writing the article would not be rigth at that time .

Today I believe would be the best time to write it down. Its just the perfect moment .


DOES LOVE RUN OUT ?
by Evelyn R. Luab

I didn't use the line "does love die?" Why ? Becasue it never does.
However, you and I dear readers, have experienced loved running out so many times even in crucial moments.
Many wives who have been beaten physically and emotionaly have often wondered how come there is nothing left in the cisternof love.
Duty or concern for children or fear of financial instability takes Love's place.
Sometimes, it is a sister or a brother that drains love away . How many times has a brother or a sister abused one's love ? Even the poor are not exempted from such tragedies . An older sister puts off getting married because she shoulders the education of her younger siblings. In the end, she is left holding an empty basket .
i've met men who defend their having mistresses saying " it was a mistake to force me to get married to a woman I get impregnated. I didn't want to marry her , but society and my parents insisted. Can you blame me for going to another woman when there is really nothing in my heart for my wife ? At least I haven't left her and she is enjoying all the comforts of life which i give her!" My ! What a miserable life he must have .
Yyoung girls came to me and very nonchalantly say "Im the mistress of so and so . He takes very good care of me . He doesnt love his wife anymore . So, better me , than somebody else!" Maybe because I have had hundreds of students , some of these young mistresses believe that its okay to talk to me because they migth just be able to convince themselves that they are not doing anything wrong, so they open up to me .
Let me ,however, throw cold water over such thinking! Why then hasn't he publickly left his wife for you ? Isn't it a great possibility that he still loves his wife and that the love ( which you say no longer exists) is still there in the cistern of love just waiting to spring to life again ?
I've always been a romantic at heart , but I always bleed when a couple comes to me and says "we are on the verge of separation". We feel that there isn't any more love."
In case like this , I quitely turn the couple to people whose expertise lies in guidance and counseling .Yet, there are times when I have to listen to their tale of pain because they are young friends of mine or special friends of long standing.
LOVE NEVER DIES! NOT EVEN PUPPY LOVE . Somehow our first princess or our first knigth who entered our hearts in high school or in the early years in college still occupies a special place in our hearts.
But can love run out likethe wine in the wedding at Cana ? YES , it can! When it happens , look for a Mother Mary who will help set things straight . There are usually people trained in guidance and counseling we can turn to .
Please remember that anything that runs out of supply can still be replenished . All it takes is the desire , and the efforts of two people to look for the source of plenty. You usually find the source through PRAYER in the hands of God Almighty.

]]> ~Tinkerbell010277 http://Tinkerbell010277.deviantart.com/journal/28317940/ http://Tinkerbell010277.deviantart.com/journal/28317940/ Thu, 12 Nov 2009 16:57:58 PST

The future is unknown and I dont want to be in a rush .
I just want to absorb the moment and smile.
If only I Have let go of the old one earlier I need not to suffer for long .
but it doesnt matter now .

I am happy and thats whats most important .

]]> ~Tinkerbell010277 http://Tinkerbell010277.deviantart.com/journal/27884967/ http://Tinkerbell010277.deviantart.com/journal/27884967/ Wed, 21 Oct 2009 08:09:05 PDT
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( underconstruction )

]]> ~Tinkerbell010277 http://Tinkerbell010277.deviantart.com/journal/25578994/ http://Tinkerbell010277.deviantart.com/journal/25578994/ Sat, 27 Jun 2009 00:56:17 PDT
The entire day yesterday from early morning until midnigth news and even today was all covered by the death of a global music icon . Not really shock of it because a few months ago I saw an E news on the internet how M.J's appearance deteriorated. Alrigth , Im not affected by it . Everyone dies . My reaction came late when I talked with a loved one who lives just 2 hours and a half drive away from where MJ had his childhood.

The conversation went this way .

03:43] ME: life is strange ... no matter how famous you are and rich you are you still get sick and die
[03:43] ME: have you heard of the latest in hollywood today ?
[03:44] ME: about 2pm in new york
[04:07] Me: dear
[04:08] Him : Yes dear
[04:08] Him : yes michael jackson died
[04:08] ME: hes my bros favorite
[04:08] HIM : oh
[04:08] ME: our youngest is a dance choreographer dear
[04:08] HIM : well honestly it doesnt make me sad
[04:09] ME: well it doesnt make me sad but my brother is
[04:09] ME: he adores the guy
[04:09] HIM : he was a troubled person which was sad

I was silent for a bit.

Although the world knew how confused , troubled and lonely MJ was . He never wasted the gift God had given him . He made the effort to perfect the talent , made it his life and share it to the world . He was phenomenal , an exceptional talent made only by a remarkable person that was Michael Joseph Jackson .

Like what I said Im not a fan but I sympathize with the rest of the world who just lost a wonderful talent like him .

I am human therefore I am capable of sinning but let me just write this ...

"Let it be that when our time comes our achievements and our contributions in this lifetime outweighs our errors as human".

Matthew 25:14-30 (NIV)

The Parable of the Talents

Again, it will be like a man going on a journey, who called his servants and entrusted his property to them. To one he gave five talents of money, to another two talents, and to another one talent, each according to his ability. Then he went on his journey. The man who had received the five talents went at once and put his money to work and gained five more. So also, the one with the two talents gained two more. But the man who had received the one talent went off, dug a hole in the ground and hid his master’s money.

After a long time, the master of those servants returned and settled accounts with them. The man who had received the five talents brought the other five. “Master,” he said, “you entrusted me with five talents. See, I have gained five more.”

His master replied, “Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master’s happiness!”

The man with the two talents also came. “Master,” he said, “you entrusted me with two talents; see, I have gained two more.”

His master replied, “Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master’s happiness!”

Then the man who had received the one talent came. “Master,” he said, “I knew that you are a hard man, harvesting where you have not sown and gathering where you have not scattered seed. So I was afraid and went out and hid your talent in the ground. See, here is what belongs to you.”

His master replied, “You wicked, lazy servant! So you knew that I harvest where I have not sown and gather where I have not scattered seed? Well then, you should have put my money on deposit with the bankers, so that when I returned I would have received it back with interest.

“Take the talent from him and give it to the one who has the ten talents. For everyone who has will be given more, and he will have an abundance. Whoever does not have, even what he has will be taken from him. And throw that worthless servant outside, into the darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.”

]]> ~Tinkerbell010277 http://Tinkerbell010277.deviantart.com/journal/25133051/ http://Tinkerbell010277.deviantart.com/journal/25133051/ Thu, 04 Jun 2009 20:34:21 PDT
1. He reads a lot, whenever you dont see him watching TV or working ,or sleeping .
You will find him reading his Bible , medical mags , the daily paper , the national geographic . I think of all his children Im the only one who followed that good vice . Making his house a library My brother loves the gym and his body , so whenever he is not sleeping or working he is at the gym .
the brother next to me is busy preparing for his life in the future with his fiancee. all his time now goes to his fiancee all his time and money (


2. He was my very first teacher . No wonder I am as smart as he is ( I believe he is smarter )
When I was in grade school . I remember After every dinner he would call me to study with him , I remember having that small blackboard and that small table and chairs
he would asked me to solve mathematical problems . I remember memorizing the table of multiplication with him we sing together , I guess at age six that I was able to completely memorize the multiplication table .
I remember always being on top of the class then because of him ,he is a strict teacher but a gentle one I always had my assignments ready everyday
My grandfather who stayed with us at that time would then bribe every perfect score I get he would pay 10 pesos haha
and I had the most money then on weekends There were nigths too that we intentionally turn off the lights and we gather around Papa with a candle in the middle to listen to his stories .
He is a great storyteller. I wish to be a good storyteller to my kids too soon .

3. When we dont follow what he tells us , he simply does it , he doesnt say a thing.
yet in doing what we supposed to do and we see him doing it . We simply follow .

4. He is totally independent from anyone else . He can live alone apart from his siblings and parents even from his children , not depending on them .

5. He doesnt want to hear any gossip at all. when we start to talk about people's lives , he simply go away , he doesnt want to listen .

6. About weddings , he simply told me NEVER BELIEVE IT TIL YOU ARE ALREADY THERE .
( very true indeed ) So girls, even if that guy had his knees asking for your hand , with all the beautiful flowers , with all the wedding preparations . "NEVER BELIEVE IT TIL YOU ARE already there at that very moment ".Believe me I learned it the most the difficult way.




7. Crab mentality has always been there. To be greater than the other they step on someone just to get what they want .Know the rigth thing to do and continue with life .
Know what is good from wrong and choose to live the good and clean life
no matter what it may cost you. A clean life pays off than a dirty one .

8 . He never remarried after my mother's death . He was 44 yrs old then . He will be 65 this July 16 .
More than 20 years dad you never ignored us . Thank you I miss you ((

He faced his responsibility as a father and mother, he cooks for us. He is the best cook I ever met aside from his sisters they are all good on that skill I would admit I am trying to be a good cook but its not all the time that I am good at it only sometimes.
Papa! I miss you

9 . I have been wondering why you always go away whenever I try to hug and kiss you .
you have been so distant I wish somehow I would go back to the time when i was a kid when I could still hug you freely and sit on your lap (

You said : I dont want you hurt when I am gone . Don't depend on me much emotionally .
I wont last forever , I would need to go someday ahead of you . Go hug your husband !
You need to live on your own not depending on anyone else but yourself only.

10. I know it wasn't easy for you when I decided to live on my own ( since you have reminded us that if you go out of my house YOU ARE YOUR OWN RESPONSIBILITY ) but you trusted me and I vow to God that I will never ever fail that trust . I have been learning a lot living on my own and I want to tell you that even if I am very independent . I am NEVER liberated . You only live with my mom and continued to be faithful with her even in the grave and so we will do the same . That the only man who can stay close to me is the man I promise to marry NO ONE ELSE. There are times that I say to myself that I want to go back in the convent but naah! I could still serve God anyway even if Im not in the convent walls I have made a promise to one person and I will stay with him the way you stay with my mother . I know you are against him but you also know how much I have love that person , Papa . You never told me “I will get mad at you... ]]> ~Tinkerbell010277 http://Tinkerbell010277.deviantart.com/journal/25009007/ http://Tinkerbell010277.deviantart.com/journal/25009007/ Fri, 29 May 2009 03:58:07 PDT
My childhood years were spent more in school and playground but rainstorms and thunderstorms keep us all at my mother side of comfy pillows and hot chocolate rice porridge .

It is a great feeling remembering those childhood moments. Everytime i hear a heavy rain pouring and loud thounders . I close my eyes and embrace those moments again .

]]> ~Tinkerbell010277 http://Tinkerbell010277.deviantart.com/journal/24575524/ http://Tinkerbell010277.deviantart.com/journal/24575524/ Sun, 03 May 2009 22:39:26 PDT

]]> ~Tinkerbell010277 http://Tinkerbell010277.deviantart.com/journal/24502727/ http://Tinkerbell010277.deviantart.com/journal/24502727/ Wed, 29 Apr 2009 18:25:27 PDT I hit hard like a stone . Ouch!!!

There must be some truth in that test though that it got a bit of info about me or may be just a coinsedence .

hmmm...

I wonder lonely as a cloud ...
I hit hard like a stone ...

So clear all the airways now ,
I migth hit you ! haha

]]> ~Tinkerbell010277 http://Tinkerbell010277.deviantart.com/journal/24419647/ http://Tinkerbell010277.deviantart.com/journal/24419647/ Fri, 24 Apr 2009 23:13:38 PDT (((((

]]> ~Tinkerbell010277 http://Tinkerbell010277.deviantart.com/journal/24353592/ http://Tinkerbell010277.deviantart.com/journal/24353592/ Tue, 21 Apr 2009 00:46:58 PDT Never thought I have to do a maintenance that would cost me a lot of money though . Good I have work to sustain it . I discovered it early last year and although it has always been with me from the time I was born symptoms only appear when the one bearing it becomes an adult .

Have you heard of the word "Regurgitation" ?

(to be continued)...

]]> ~Tinkerbell010277 http://Tinkerbell010277.deviantart.com/journal/23653562/ http://Tinkerbell010277.deviantart.com/journal/23653562/ Thu, 12 Mar 2009 01:37:50 PDT

I need to put my tired body to rest

]]> ~Tinkerbell010277 http://Tinkerbell010277.deviantart.com/journal/23618808/ http://Tinkerbell010277.deviantart.com/journal/23618808/ Mon, 09 Mar 2009 22:16:23 PDT
But God has given us the mind to think and to distinguish rigth from wrong
and the freedom to choose .

Samuel, for many years I have love you more than myself and I would admit
that my love for you never ceases inspite of everything that i discovered about you .
I have accepted you inspite of all the ugliness i saw from you both inside out .
I continued loving you inspite of the things i heard from your family .
Have you heard anything from my family the way your father and sister-in-law talked with me ?

I believe not , and I have proven that since you havent heard anything from them especially from my father whom you owe a lot .
My family is decent enough NOT to treat anyone the way you and your family treated me .
when my cousin Ellen e-mailed you . She was only asking to please be real to me since
I am completely different from the women you were with . Please know that .

I know that you are just waiting for me to tell you its over for us .
otherwise you wouldnt be doing some foolishness behind me.
I have love you enough that only a wife could bear such pain and stay with you .
unfortunately , you did not see how much I value you

I also need to love myself Sam . It has always been you and its not fair
because you don't love me as much as you even love your past .
in your talks with other people you keep on saying you love her and not me .
I want to tell myself that a white person could NOT really be with a decent woman , they are only for prostitutes.( excuse me for those very very very few who married decent Filipinas )
as that is what is always happening . It makes me cry but maybe that is really what you want in your life .
So go on if it makes you happy but try to be kind to yourself and know the consequences of what you are doing.

Im not trying to be clean . I just cant live the kind of life you are in .
I have been praying to God that you will change for the better but then again
maybe the Holy Spirit is so away from you that you continue to be a slave of the things of this world.

You have lost your job already Sam .
Don't let your foolishness loss your life .

God cares for you .

]]> ~Tinkerbell010277 http://Tinkerbell010277.deviantart.com/journal/23571498/ http://Tinkerbell010277.deviantart.com/journal/23571498/ Sat, 07 Mar 2009 09:30:34 PST ((( and i cant even go to bed and sleep waaaaaaaaaaaa so many things to do ((((((((

]]> ~Tinkerbell010277 http://Tinkerbell010277.deviantart.com/journal/23517109/ http://Tinkerbell010277.deviantart.com/journal/23517109/ Tue, 03 Mar 2009 23:51:28 PST
1. He reads a lot, whenever you dont see him watching TV or working ,or sleeping .
You will find him reading his Bible , medical mags , the daily paper , the national geographic . I think of all his children Im the only one who followed that good vice . Making his house a library My brother loves the gym and his body , so whenever he is not sleeping or working he is at the gym .
the brother next to me is busy preparing for his life in the future with his fiancee. all his time now goes to his fiancee all his time and money (


2. He was my very first teacher . No wonder I am as smart as he is ( I believe he is smarter )
When I was in grade school . I remember After every dinner he would call me to study with him , I remember having that small blackboard and that small table and chairs
he would asked me to solve mathematical problems . I remember memorizing the table of multiplication with him we sing together , I guess at age six that I was able to completely memorize the multiplication table .
I remember always being on top of the class then because of him ,he is a strict teacher but a gentle one I always had my assignments ready everyday
My grandfather who stayed with us at that time would then bribe every perfect score I get he would pay 10 pesos haha
and I had the most money then on weekends There were nigths too that we intentionally turn off the lights and we gather around Papa with a candle in the middle to listen to his stories .
He is a great storyteller. I wish to be a good storyteller to my kids too soon .

3. When we dont follow what he tells us , he simply does it , he doesnt say a thing.
yet in doing what we supposed to do and we see him doing it . We simply follow .

4. He is totally independent from anyone else . He can live alone apart from his siblings and parents even from his children , not depending on them .

5. He doesnt want to hear any gossip at all. when we start to talk about people's lives , he simply go away , he doesnt want to listen .

6. About weddings , he simply told me NEVER BELIEVE IT TIL YOU ARE ALREADY THERE .
( very true indeed ) So girls, even if that guy had his knees asking for your hand , with all the beautiful flowers , with all the wedding preparations . "NEVER BELIEVE IT TIL YOU ARE already there at that very moment ".Believe me I learned it the most the difficult way.




7. Crab mentality has always been there. To be greater than the other they step on someone just to get what they want .Know the rigth thing to do and continue with life .
Know what is good from wrong and choose to live the good and clean life
no matter what it may cost you. A clean life pays off than a dirty one .

8 . He never remarried after my mother's death . He was 44 yrs old then . He will be 65 this July 16 .
More than 20 years dad you never ignored us . Thank you I miss you ((

He faced his responsibility as a father and mother, he cooks for us. He is the best cook I ever met aside from his sisters they are all good on that skill I would admit I am trying to be a good cook but its not all the time that I am good at it only sometimes.
Papa! I miss you

9 . I have been wondering why you always go away whenever I try to hug and kiss you .
you have been so distant I wish somehow I would go back to the time when i was a kid when I could still hug you freely and sit on your lap (

You said : I dont want you hurt when I am gone . Don't depend on me much emotionally .
I wont last forever , I would need to go someday ahead of you . Go hug your husband !
You need to live on your own not depending on anyone else but yourself only.

10. I know it wasn't easy for you when I decided to live on my own ( since you have reminded us that if you go out of my house YOU ARE YOUR OWN RESPONSIBILITY ) but you trusted me and I vow to God that I will never ever fail that trust . I have been learning a lot living on my own and I want to tell you that even if I am very independent . I am NEVER liberated . You only live with my mom and continued to be faithful with her even in the grave and so we will do the same . That the only man who can stay close to me is the man I promise to marry NO ONE ELSE. There are times that I say to myself that I want to go back in the convent but I could still serve God anyway even if Im not in the convent walls but I made a promise to one person . I know you are against him but you also know how much I have loved the person . You never told me “I will get mad at you or disown you if you push thru with him” Instead you let me feel t... ]]> ~Tinkerbell010277 http://Tinkerbell010277.deviantart.com/journal/23458864/ http://Tinkerbell010277.deviantart.com/journal/23458864/ Sat, 28 Feb 2009 20:46:46 PST [link]


This piece of work never fails to make me smile
It has been 2 years i guess since I first made it , deleted some pic and added some .
I wish to put more pictures there , including Mama, and Papa's pic
and the grown up pics of my brother's as well . Im missing them , im wondering how they are rigth now .
I'll be going back to phili soon . Nothing compares and feels like home and although this place looks like my childhood place. Nothing feels like home again , Im missing my dad sooo soooo sooooooo much !!!!!!!!!

]]> ~Tinkerbell010277 http://Tinkerbell010277.deviantart.com/journal/23457169/ http://Tinkerbell010277.deviantart.com/journal/23457169/ Sat, 28 Feb 2009 19:03:45 PST

From Saipan's Tribune ( CNMI's Daily Newspaper )
Sunday, March 01, 2009
Thursday, February 26, 2009

Include Philippines in visa waiver program, says Guam senator

By Kristi Eaton
Reporter

Unlike others who have focused on requesting for the inclusion of Russia and China in the joint Guam-CNMI visa waiver program, Guam Sen. Judith P. Guthertz is pushing for the inclusion of the Philippines under the proposed program.

Guthertz, the chairperson of the Guam Legislature's Committee on Military Buildup and Homeland Security, is the latest person to comment on the proposed regulations regarding the new visa waiver program that is part of the implementation of section 702 of the Consolidated Natural Resources Act of 2008. The Act will extend federal immigration laws to the CNMI. The start date is scheduled for June 1, although a delay of up to six months is possible.

CNMI officials, business leaders and community members have expressed their concern that the Commonwealth would lose the Russia and Chinese tourists- two emerging markets-if the countries were not included in the waiver.

Guthertz, however, has focused her comments on the importance of including the Philippines within the program.

“The Republic of the Philippines should definitely be included on the list of countries included in the Guam and Commonwealth of the Northern Mariana Islands visa waiver program,” she said. “This would be of significant economic benefit to our people. More importantly, we need the visa waiver program for the [Philippines] because of the close family and cultural ties between us. The Visit Families and Friends numbers would be the most important reason for including the [Philippines] in the visa waiver program for Guam.”

The lawmaker notes that the country has a large presence in Guam's history and much of the Chamorro culture is adopted from the Philippine culture.

Local families, therefore, have many relatives residing in the Philippines and visit the country often.

“However, it is a one way system because the relatives in the [Philippines] cannot get visas to visit their relatives here on our islands without lengthy and difficult application process for a regular visa,” she added.

For example, the lawmaker said, many families want relatives residing in the Philippines to watch their sons or daughters graduate from the University of Guam but are unable to because of the difficulty in obtaining a visa.

Also, Filipino business leaders may want to visit Guam on short notice but will be unable to if a visa is required.

In the visa waiver program interim final rule, the Department of Homeland Security notes that China, Russia and the Philippines are the three largest tourism markets that will be impacted by the program because they will be excluded.

In her comments, Guthertz said emphasis must be placed on the federal government's investment of personnel and material in order to establish a presence in Guam and the CNMI with reference to the visa waiver program.

“We are fortunate in this regard that there is a DHS boundary between Hawaii and the mainland separating them from Guam and the CNMI,” she said. “If any foreign visitors overstay their time they will be unable to proceed on into the U.S. interior because their paperwork check at the CNMI and Guam airports. Further, all of the military bases on Guam are well protected so there is no danger from foreigners holding visa waiver documents.”

Finally, the senator asks DHS to consider hiring local graduates from the University of Guam, Guam Community College and Northern Marianas College as the agency develops a presence on the islands.

Besides Guthertz, as of yesterday 16 other people have commented on the Federal Register website about the proposed regulations, less than a month before the March 16 deadline for public comments.

]]> ~Tinkerbell010277 http://Tinkerbell010277.deviantart.com/journal/23409600/ http://Tinkerbell010277.deviantart.com/journal/23409600/ Thu, 26 Feb 2009 01:52:24 PST
In my dream I saw sketches of animals in the sky and it was beautiful. It seemed like children’s sketches .
The feeling also that I had in that dream was good 
It was a hot day the sky was so blue  with thin white clouds that was pretty nice to look at . In the evening time the animal sketches in the sky were still there and I saw firecrackers . that was very good and exciting to watch I had smiles on my face in that dream.

The second scene of my dream went like this :

I went to the bathroom to pooh yet there was a snake or should I say a dragon a yellow dragon. I touched it a little as I was having a hard time to move. It seemed that the dragon was having a hard time to see , it even cried when the man in the house hurt him , the man in the house hit the yellow dragon with an ax and the yellow dragon was hurt and it went away . It was a humungous snake that I thought but it was a dragon who lost his way . It went to a big hole in the house to escape to save his life . It seemed like we were in a big old house which had big holes in it.

I am hungry now
Last night I cooked 6 small cut skinless longganisa with raw tomatoes on the side: D yummy I had sunny side up egg as well . I thougth I would still have them 'til morning but then I was able to gobble everything . I guess I had two cups of rice last night . I had to congratulate myself for cooking such a good bunch of rice . It was pretty good ! the secret is when it boils , just let it boil for another 5 minutes then turn to medium from high heat for 10 minutes once it dries up a bit after that just turn to low heat for the next 5-10 minutes then you can serve your fresh and hot rice with your favorite viand

I guess im going to be a good cook and hopefully an international chef one day
Keep on dreaming Jane and act on it . Your dreams aren’t that far to reach 
I want to cook Sweet and sour fish tonight when I get home but maybe i'll just have to move it 'til Sunday.
Ill be working ‘til Saturday I guess. So Sunday is laundry day and cooking day for me . Tonight, ill be having my dad’s recipe of corned beef with pork and beans .I'll just add potatoes so that I would still have some for Friday .
Saturday would be lugaw day for me as in Champorado : Chocolate porridge with Bulad , some boiled potatoes for me to eat and omelet with bits of spicy meat loaf in the morning . That would be great for me Good !!!


Im missing my dad
Hopefully I will have time to visit him next, next weekend when i get back to my country . I haven’t told him about the new house that I'll be renting as soon as I get back to Philippines but I have the house ready on the first week of March .

So everything is set for the coming month . Great!
Now I need to take some rest for tomorrow is another day to live .
Naah , im just tired . I need to rest and Im already hungry .

The sight of the yellow dragon in my dream is interrupting my conciousness ... wheew ! It went away sad and crying alright !

So , thats all about my Daily life NOW and the Yellow Dragon that I keep on remembering from the moment it existed in my dream early today

]]> ~Tinkerbell010277 http://Tinkerbell010277.deviantart.com/journal/23315217/ http://Tinkerbell010277.deviantart.com/journal/23315217/ Fri, 20 Feb 2009 22:21:42 PST

I always hear people fascinated the way I talk . YOur speech is brilliant , your accent is great . Did you grow up in Britain ?
your words are so clear and so good to hear , just talk we'll listen.

One thing that made me smile yesterday and I was so eager to write it somewhere but didn't have the time to write was the compliment of Amor one of our heads . That everytime, everytime she hears my voice she's imagining Fairy Tales Princesses , Sooo beautiful! Wow! that reminds me of the dubbing jobs I had back then and the stage plays in high school and in college . The only thing was that since I never had a long hair I always had to wear wigs

A few years back I used to dub "Ariel's" voice of the Little mermaid in a local television in the phils . Goddness! I really really miss doing that stuff.

--------

Our workplace maybe is a bunch of fairy tale looking and sounding people hahaha.

A week after we arrived here or two I guess. There came a new person in the office . Maybe in his early 30's , an Aussie guy . and wheew he looks funny he looks decent though in fact if its the first time you see him you will really turn your head just to see him more hahha... if you have seen the movie Shrek 2 and you saw Prince Charming there , that Artist sketch of Prince Charming in the movie Shrek 2 is totally the exact replica of Peter, even his hair even the way he flips it haha and true as what my Filipino colleagues say ... give him a sword and let him wear his Shining armour plus give him the horse hahaha. Khan said his face looks weird , I havent really look at him for a minute the day he arrived at the office until yesterday afternoon though , he's australian but his accent is a mix of the Australian English accent and Italian and true as what Amor said when you look at him and he smiles you will be imagining his teeth shines like all the fairy tale prince's...ahhaha

]]> ~Tinkerbell010277 http://Tinkerbell010277.deviantart.com/journal/23052619/ http://Tinkerbell010277.deviantart.com/journal/23052619/ Sat, 07 Feb 2009 02:17:12 PST

]]> ~Tinkerbell010277 http://Tinkerbell010277.deviantart.com/journal/22795162/ http://Tinkerbell010277.deviantart.com/journal/22795162/ Sun, 25 Jan 2009 03:34:32 PST
About 2 weeks ago . I was preparing my lesson for a bunch of Korean kids in the camp. When the thought came to me why not talk about Trees. So , I started reminiscing the past and made the draft and outline for my class for the whole week .

I love it ! I love the story and the movie of the Giving Tree plus the poem "Trees" by Joyce Kilmer. So , when Monday came I had the movie shown to my kids first which I found online narrated by Shel Silverstein . It was the actual 1973 Giving Tree Movie and my kids love it as much as the world loved it for years .

Here's the link of that short film ...

[link]

Here's the Link of the poem
TREES by Joyce Kilmer ...

[link]

]]> ~Tinkerbell010277 http://Tinkerbell010277.deviantart.com/journal/22535976/ http://Tinkerbell010277.deviantart.com/journal/22535976/ Mon, 12 Jan 2009 00:43:20 PST
[link]

note : 2-4 sounds every session is impossible though . introduce instead one sound for every session with vocabs and a lot of activities for the kids , it would help them remember and comprehend every word in any language .

...

]]> ~Tinkerbell010277 http://Tinkerbell010277.deviantart.com/journal/22402699/ http://Tinkerbell010277.deviantart.com/journal/22402699/ Sun, 04 Jan 2009 19:55:33 PST
]]> ~Tinkerbell010277 http://Tinkerbell010277.deviantart.com/journal/22346029/ http://Tinkerbell010277.deviantart.com/journal/22346029/ Fri, 02 Jan 2009 02:16:29 PST and most of the time I get left over from new year's eve huh ...but its still my birthday and It's still a happy day for me

]]> ~Tinkerbell010277 http://Tinkerbell010277.deviantart.com/journal/22254703/ http://Tinkerbell010277.deviantart.com/journal/22254703/ Mon, 29 Dec 2008 05:05:43 PST 02:00 Php time


Lyrics : Jane Daryl Ferrer
Music : Michelle Ferrer-Ybanez

The sun has set
its unwavering ligth
The curtains fall
The lights out
The nigth has come.

The play has ended.
Thy fantasy stopped .
Not a glow of warmth
nor a single flame had sparked.

Yesterday is gone
Tomorrow has now come.
Life unfolds
A new canvass is exposed
A new leaf of life for us to explore.

Go on , Walk on .
Life is a never ending adventure
Go on , Walk on
Life is a never ending quest.

Enjoy life's journey
For the sun may have set
it will rise and shine again
in its most majestic way .

]]> ~Tinkerbell010277 http://Tinkerbell010277.deviantart.com/journal/21957657/ http://Tinkerbell010277.deviantart.com/journal/21957657/ Sat, 13 Dec 2008 03:08:20 PST
Was about to close this site when I noticed the date Gee , I didnt know its the 13th of December wooooah hmmm if mom is only alive today . Today could have been her 51st birthday !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

11TH DAY BEFORE CHRISTMAS 12/14/08

-had a new haircut
-received my first gift this Christmas
-picture taking with Papa and my brothers
( this is so rare to happen , the last time was about 20 years ago Soooooo , happy

10th DAY BEFORE CHRISTMAS 12/15/08

9th DAY BEFORE CHRISTMAS 12/16/08
- Misa de Gallo Starts
- Serenade Joren's Wedding

8th DAY BEFORE CHRISTMAS 12/17/08

7th DAY BEFORE CHRISTMAS 12/18/08

6th DAY BEFORE CHRISTMAS 12/19/08

5th DAY BEFORE CHRISTMAS 12/20/08
- The gift to meet my Beloved Old ;D Lead Trainer
in TEFL,Phils. again now in TEFL, Spain. He who believe so much in my ability. Thank you , thank you , thank you My never ending gratitude goes to you always Mr. Alan Cochlan . Thanks for making my book complete too . My career life would never be complete without your presence. AI! SIR .

4th DAY BEFORE CHRISTMAS 12/21/08

3 DAYS BEFORE CHRISTMAS !!! 12/22/08
- away na sad!!!
- forget that dumb guy!
SMILE Jane , its Christmas!!!!!!!!!!!!

2 DAYS BEFORE CHRISTMAS !!! 12/23/08
Fireworks Display @ 7pm Yepeey!!!!!

A DAY BEFORE CHRISTMAS 2008 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 12/24/08

just a few hours to go and its Christmas Eve!!!

CHRISTMAS DAY!!! HAPPY DAY !!! 12/25/08 15:10

CHEERS TO EVERYONE!!!!!!

This is recession in the Philippines we burn all our money for fireworks...haha... but who cares ? It only comes once a year , we worked hard the whole year and spend it all on Christmas eve and the new year and work hard again the rest of the year and spend it all again on holiday season like this !!!

It's the day to celebrate joy and happiness!!! His highness birth -Jesus the Christ .


Mag-ambahan (In Visayan)
Let's Celebrate

Isinggit ta ang kalipay'g hudyaka
Kay pasko karon sa pagmaya

Mag-ambahan ta ning pasko sa kalipay
Ang kagul-anan ta ato nga isalikway
Ug duyog ning awit sa malipayong dughan
Isinggit ta ang kalipay'g hudyaka
Kay pasko karon sa pagmaya

Wad-on ta ang mga kayugot
Isalikway ta ang pagdumot
Ang pagpasaylo mao'y angay buhaton ta
Ning adlaw sa manunubos

(Repeat Mag-ambahan stanza)

Isinggit ta ang kalipay'g hudyaka
Kay pasko karon sa pagmaya


English Translation :

We're shouting for joy and merriment
Because it's Christmas, time of joy !!!

Let us celebrate this Christmas with happiness
put aside our troubles
And sing together a happy song .
Let's shout with gladness in our hearts
it's Christmas, time of joy !!!

Let's get rid of our anger
Set aside our hatred
Forgiveness is the right thing to do
This day of our Savior

Let us shout for joy and happy merriment
it's Christmas, time of joy !!!

]]> ~Tinkerbell010277 http://Tinkerbell010277.deviantart.com/journal/21624948/ http://Tinkerbell010277.deviantart.com/journal/21624948/ Sun, 23 Nov 2008 04:30:05 PST The first time I noticed the address I tried to ignore them. The second time it was time to talk to the parent. I have always been calm outside . Being trained to handle the worst situtation in a classroom situation But this is no classroom . This is their home . No matter how you will look at it . The authority of a teacher in school is different compared to the authority given to a teacher who goes to your home and facilitate children's learning . Their mother is alone in raising those kids as their father is away working on a ship. Hmmm, sounds very familiar.

I have noticed Arcelli's way of handling those boys . She yells at them most of the time if not all the time. We're very opposite but I have always asked myself... will I be like her in handling my own kids in the future? Can't she just calm down and talk properly to her kids ? Maybe , that is her way of handling her kids and her anxiety .
When I showed to her the website address that her son visited ... the very noisy mother and always anxious mother who makes my eardrum break was silent . That is what your son is visiting when he goes online . Curiosity you might say but you and your husband need to talk to your boys now that they're being curious of that thing (sex).

I have always wondered how a good mind had turned evil. There are a lot of factors why . The first to blame are the parents and the people who brought us up so I have always told my kids - my students. If you love your mom and dad show kindness in anyway you can and in any form .If you don't you would be bringing shame and embarassment to them .

I grew up with all guys so i have seen my brother grew up as well and have seen them once bringing a magazine with naked pic of western women. I gave the information to my dad at that time ...a conference followed after that . The magazines were burned and it never happend again that those kind of thing were brought to our house and mentioned in the house . I remember my dad told my brothers in respect of my presence not to bring or mention any nasty things inside the house . That's how my dad handled that situation .

One time I found out that my fiance is crazy paying online prostitutes and porn sites . Its a sickness . I tried to ask help from his parents but it was just ignored . So i showed him an autopsy of a woman .hahaha... Wished it helped . But they say its easier to train up a child than an old man . I dont know how his parents brought him up . wheeew! Maybe a prayer will help him change his old rotten ways or maybe his family will but how can it be when his family seems to tolerate his ways .

It always go back to the family . So parents be on guard . You are the molder that shapes your child's being .

I am not trying to be good and perfect . I know what is going on this culture . I dont just buy them . I am just writing what i feel and my reflection on the things that I see each day .

Have a good day!

]]> ~Tinkerbell010277 http://Tinkerbell010277.deviantart.com/journal/21512405/ http://Tinkerbell010277.deviantart.com/journal/21512405/ Sun, 16 Nov 2008 05:07:24 PST To fetch a pail of water.
(Hold thumbs straight up,alternating them upward)

Jack fell down and broke his crown,
(Wiggle one thumb and wrist downward)

And Jill came tumbling after.
(Wiggle other thumb and wrist downward)

Then up got Jack and said to Jill,
(Bring one thumb up, then the other)

As in his arms he took her,
(Cross thumbs)

"Brush off that dirt for you're not hurt,
(Brush one thumb with the other)


Let's fetch that pail of water."
(Continue brushing)

So Jack and Jill went up the hill
To fetch the pail of water,
(Thumbs straight up, alternating upward)

And took it home to Mother dear,
(Bring thumbs slowly together)

Who thanked her son and daughter.
(Thumbs meet)

( to be continued )

]]> ~Tinkerbell010277 http://Tinkerbell010277.deviantart.com/journal/21465192/ http://Tinkerbell010277.deviantart.com/journal/21465192/ Thu, 13 Nov 2008 06:28:55 PST
Oh! Well . Singing is a good therapy anyway.
How many weddings have I gone to sing since high school ? Hmmm ... I don't remember anymore. I remember the first one was my cousin's wedding - March 1990. Then other invitation follows.

It is always a beautiful moment . The preparation makes it more exciting . I had my own share of it last year but it was all in vain , the marriage preparation was a waste of time , money and effort.

It was the biggest joke in my life but inspite of it all I still see weddings as a beautiful event . It will always be a moment to smile for me

]]> ~Tinkerbell010277 http://Tinkerbell010277.deviantart.com/journal/21462435/ http://Tinkerbell010277.deviantart.com/journal/21462435/ Wed, 12 Nov 2008 22:25:28 PST
His filipina wife had aborted their still born child and left him together with their first born which he thought was his child but then his wife told him he is not the father of their daughter anyway . That is horrible!!! He had a motorbike accident after that and to top of it all his father died and because of his fractured leg caused by the accident he couldn't go back to his country to attend the funeral .

I don't know how he handles that situation with what is happening to him and to his family . All I could see is a middle-aged man standing with crutches and facilitating a bunch of Korean students .

If it happens to me, will I do the same ? Will I still see myself standing in front of my class ?
I simply do not know.

I looked at my dad and asked him why he never dyed his hair black to make him look younger . He said , his white hair which indicates his old age is a gift . He had gone through the good and bad times in life and he is still strong still standing , he never quit life for us . When my mother died 20 years ago , she left him with 3 kids me as the eldest 12 , the brother next to me was 9 and the youngest brother which was 7 at that time. He never married again .

A lot of times I want to give up on life ,many many times . I get so upset with life . Its just not fair . Last year and this year were the most terrible years of my life . No woman would want to go through what I have gone through . To found your groom to be naked with other women on the very nigth of your supposed to be wedding date that wasnt pushed through . No sane woman would ever want that .

I want to keep on askign why ? Why ? Why ? Why ? Why me ? I may know the answer to that but still its hard to bear. God trust me so much. He knows I can bear the pain even if it feels like I could not.

Life is tough . Bend on life but not break . Your rewards will be great. Sigh ... I wish it is easy .

]]> ~Tinkerbell010277 http://Tinkerbell010277.deviantart.com/journal/21428801/ http://Tinkerbell010277.deviantart.com/journal/21428801/ Mon, 10 Nov 2008 20:30:25 PST
All of us is special in our own way as God created us in full goodness and in His own image. but God has given us the freedom to choose between what is rigth and wrong . Between what is good and evil.

Below is a poem by Annie *XalabastersinX
I dont know her but she has the words- my words of anger to a person and to life itself- why me ? the answer is simple - Jane no one is exempted and just like what the counselor is telling you "you cant be his saviour" , if he doesnt want to go out in darkness and help himself out of it . You cant force him to go out. Your suffering is already enough YOU NEED TO MOVE FORWARD. Promiscuity and prostitution is totally madness. A society's disease. It destroys family and life itself. A person who loves his life will do his best to get out of it and would seek help . Aperson who loves that madness would not dare to ask help .


The poem below is only a reflection of my anger but very true to what i feel . Forgiveness may come but in due time .

by Annie *XalabastersinX

I'm nothing special
and I know that now
so thanks for using me
and for showing me how

consider me your protege
and look at what I've become
your very own worst enemy
with a loaded gun

who will feel the brunt
of all this anger and rage
you should have thought of that
before you unleashed the beast from it's cage

for the innocent, I hold no malice
and I only wish them well
but as for you, you lying bitch
you can rot in hell

You should have thought
of the hurt this would cause
or maybe you did
and you did it because

you hate me for reasons
that I don't know about
so what about it
should I just sit here and pout?

no no my dear
I have other plans
they include ratting you out
to all the other fans

I'm going to go public
there are stories to tell
since you can't get me paid back on time
I think this story would sell

the lesson has been learned
though it took over a year
now I'll do the teaching
so hold on my dear

be careful how you treat
others in your life
the lies you tell them
will come back to cause you strife

I knew deep down
that it was too good to be true
but I never knew fandom
would introduce me to one so cruel

you took advantage
you used me and you lied
and yes...on somedays
I had wished I had died

the hurt is real
and the wounds are deep
you're a sorry human being
and I think you're a creep

I'm done waiting around
for the non existent call
from my so called "friend"
that's the biggest lie of all

©2008 *XalabastersinX

]]> ~Tinkerbell010277 http://Tinkerbell010277.deviantart.com/journal/21394854/ http://Tinkerbell010277.deviantart.com/journal/21394854/ Sat, 08 Nov 2008 20:15:41 PST

EARTHLINK CSA/CUSTOMER BLUNDERS & BLOOPERS, etc...

1) CSA: “If I may ask, who is your current Internet Service Provider?”

Customer: “My husband is my provider!”



2) CSA: “May I speak to the one in charge of the internet access at home?”

Customer: “In charge of what?”

CSA: “The internet access at home!”

Customer: “What ACCIDENT?”

CSA: “No, ma'am. The Internet Access!”

Customer: “But I already paid the TAXES!”




3) CSA: “May I speak to the one in charge of the internet access at home?”

Customer: “In charge of what?”

CSA: “The internet access at home!”

Customer: “At what?”

CSA: “At home, ma'am. Do you have an internet access at home?”

Customer: “Well, yes I'm at home!”




4) This happened right after sales verification:

Customer (Filipina in Hawaii): “One last question. Can you please spell AIRPLANE?”

CSA: “I beg your pardon?”

Customer: “Can you spell AIRPLANE, your company?”

CSA: “No, ma'am. It's EARTHLINK. E-A-R-T-H, as in the world, then L-I-N-K!”



5) CSA: “We're calling because we're establishing internet connection for RESIDENCES like you in North Carolina.”




CSA confirming telephone number to a spanish speaking DM.

CSA: “Cinco, Uno, Dos, Cuatro, Uno, Siete, Ah, ah, ah (CSA doesnt know what zero is in spanish. It's cero, you dingdong!!!).”

CSA 2 (eavesdropping): Bokya!! Bokya!!




6) CSA: “Do you have an internet access at home?”

Customer: “No. For our mails we use an OWL. It's great, you should try it!!! But we're planning to upgrade and get a faster one. Maybe a DRAGON!!!”




7) Customer: “Who's this?”

CSA: “This is ________, from Earthlink!”

Customer: “From where?”

CSA: “From Earthlink!”

Customer: “From where, what, when, who, why?!”




8) CSA: “Do you speak english ma'am?”

Customer: “No.”

CSA: “Is there anyone there I can speak to regarding your english (Ooops!), I mean, regarding your internet access at home?”



9)CSA: “Ma'am, you don't need to have TV Cable (you mean cable tv connection?) to avail of our highspeed cable internet access...




10)CSA (giving the password to the customer): Ma'am, your password is, please TAKE it down...(Ooops! You mean jot it or write it down, correct?)




11)TL (Looking for a customer named ILLIE SMITH): “Hi! May I please speak with Illie Smeeth?”




12)CSA: "May I know if you have a computer at home?"

CUSTOMER: (An old lady): Yes I have a computer.."

CSA: " May I know who is your current internet service provider??"

CUSTOMER: " What provider?...."

CSA: " Internet srevice provider"

CUSTOMER: " What?!"

CSA: "Internet!"

CUSTOMER: " Whaat?? An antenna??!!"




13)CSA: "Hi! my name is... from Earthlink by Time Warner..."

CUSTOMER: " We are not interesting!"

14)CSA: "Hi, this is Hazel from Earthlink powered by Time Warner Cable and we're calling because we are establishing our internet connection in your area at San Antonio."

CUSTOMER: "Say you're going to disconnect our cable?"




15)csa to another csa: (crosstalking) i'm sooo SLEEPY!

call comes in...

csa: hello, may I SLEEP with the person in charge of the internet access

16) csa: Thank you for taking my time ma'am!

customer: WHAT!!! TAKING YOUR TIME!! (peace)

17) csa: ma'am what is your internet provider?
customer: oh it's my husband! (aba at pinatulan ng kana, mali pa ang sagot)

18) csa: ma'am do you have a computer at home? customer: what the driver? he's not here.. (ano ba yun)

17) CSA: this is a call from earthlink by time warner Customer: time warner brothers?

18) Customer: Hello? CSA: hi this is ________ from earthlink.net

19) Spanish Cutsomer:
CSA: Hi i wish to speak with Juan please?
Customer: Oh... Juan not home
CSA: okay when is the best time to call back?
Customer: (thinking...) Alas quatro y media
CSA: Alas quatro y media? Oh sige.

20) CSA: Hi i'm looking for Joseph Smith.
Customer: I hope you find him.

21)... ]]> ~Tinkerbell010277 http://Tinkerbell010277.deviantart.com/journal/21293224/ http://Tinkerbell010277.deviantart.com/journal/21293224/ Mon, 03 Nov 2008 01:05:39 PST

I was bored for a bit but a hobby made me so happy and now its working for me .

Hmm , I'm wondering what Mama would say if she will find out Im making money out of cooking

Before she died all she knew is that I read and read and play and sleep in the library I didnt even know how to cook rice till I was 25 hahahahha ... but maybe dad's genes is working now for me great !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What a life !

( to be continued )

]]> ~Tinkerbell010277 http://Tinkerbell010277.deviantart.com/journal/21244176/ http://Tinkerbell010277.deviantart.com/journal/21244176/ Fri, 31 Oct 2008 07:11:39 PDT
Sigh , sometimes I just want to stop and look at the nigth sky . It would be great !

It has been a long time since I have done that . I would love to do that again .

I would love to lay down on top of a roof with the sky as my ceiling and the soft wind as my blanket . I hope its not going to rain

Put my tired mind and body to rest Oh God!

Let me take a break from everything that I have been doing . I want to breathe . I want to smile .
I want to laugh again .

]]> ~Tinkerbell010277 http://Tinkerbell010277.deviantart.com/journal/20963128/ http://Tinkerbell010277.deviantart.com/journal/20963128/ Mon, 13 Oct 2008 02:03:17 PDT

hmmm , I am thinking I wish I could erase what happend the past year but maybe God has a plan for everthing has a reason under the sun

Sigh . It's getting dark here and I need to rest later.

2 major seminars I didnt push thru last year . My Team planned to have it commercialized after the success of the first project . Suddenly , I lost my focus to it or should we say my priority changed .Suddenly ,a chemical reaction went roaming in my hypothalamus and made me stopped everything that I have been doing. Goodness! hahha When you fall in love you will have this chemical reaction in your brain ( i forgot what it is called though but will put it here once i find that chemical substance term. The same as a person having an Obsessive Compulsive Behavior. It is hard , really hard especially if the person if the person is not at your side always .wheew

Sigh , I wish I could turn back time but I couldn't . My team is in Greece now . I am left here for something I dont even know if it will still be pushed thru . I could still see how the Dean of our University frowns at me everytime I see her Everything stopped when I fell in love to a person so different from all the men I was with ...funny ... I only had two in the past. Sigh! life ... but life is better without a man at least for me I guess. Maybe it is okay if i meet a person who truly loves me ... does he ever exist ???? hmmmm maybe yes , mabye no . I heard Im already old at least im not looking old . SO do i ever look like 32 ? wheew! I look 40 going 20 hahahha . naah... A life lived in Christ will look radiant and young . A life lived with evil will look old and rotten hhhhhhhhhmmmmmmmm...
It will come if it will come .
Damn! I like my last name. Maybe , Jane its better to give it to a person whose past is not that dirty perhaps , not with a prostitute'd ex (I know it doesnt sound good coz i sound judgemental but i was hoping it will change but then I was wrong coz he's still the same) . The last thing i heard is that he is with a prostitute now. Oh not again ! worst from my place . tsk tsk tsk . WHen will he learn that it wouldnt do him any good at all ... geee ... Maybe he wont ever change, but I'm hoping and praying he will stop that act though... very bad .

I swear i'll never fall in love again ( so corny)...ahhahha very funny and my dad would say ...NOT funny, when will you get out of my house and get married ??? Papa , when the moon turns blue I guess We will see what tomorrow will be for me

Sigh , what a life!

Ok, so this is what's waiting for me outside the convent . Tsk tsk tsk ...

but I have my work anyway and I have a life , good enough and bright enough for me

]]> ~Tinkerbell010277 http://Tinkerbell010277.deviantart.com/journal/20869085/ http://Tinkerbell010277.deviantart.com/journal/20869085/ Tue, 07 Oct 2008 04:43:50 PDT The outside world is more painful than I ever thought and I sometimes I want to go back in the convent wherein I only study , work and pray . But then again All of these things are part of the beauty that God would want to show me and so I embraced it faithfully.

To anyone who will be taking a glance on this page and who migth be reading this journal by chance . I hope it can help .

Those who are still single may learn something from here....
Those who are already married may take it as a guideline to improve your marriage....
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---
DID I MARRY THE RIGHT PERSON?

During one of our seminars, a woman asked a common question.
She said, 'How do I know if I married the right person?'
I noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so I said,
'It depends. Is that your husband?' In all seriousness, she answered
'How
do you know?'

Let me answer this question because the chances are
good that it's weighing on your mind.

Here's the answer.
EVERY relationship has a cycle. In the beginning, you fell in love with
your spouse. You anticipated their call, wanted their touch, and liked
their idiosyncrasies.

Falling in love with your spouse wasn't hard. In fact, it was a
completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn't have to DO
anything. That's why it's called 'falling' in love...

Because it's happening to YOU.

People in love sometimes say, 'I was swept off my feet.' Think about
the
imagery of that . . . expression. It implies that you were just
standing
there; doing nothing, and then something came along and happened to
YOU.

Falling in love is easy. It's a passive and spontaneous experience.
But after a few years of marriage, the euphoria of love fades. It's the
natural cycle of EVERY relationship. Slowly but surely, phone calls
become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome
(when
it happens), and your spouse's idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute,
drive you nuts.

The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship, but if you
think about your marriage, you will notice a dramatic difference
between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or
even
angrier subsequent stage.

At this point, you and/or your spouse might start asking, 'Did I marry
the right person?' And as you and your spouse reflect on the euphoria
of
the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with
someone else. This is when marriages breakdown. People blame their
spouse
for their unhappiness and look outside their marriage for
fulfillment.

Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is
the most obvious. But sometimes people turn to work,a hobby, a
friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances.

But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your marriage.
It lies within it. I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with
someone else. You could.

And TEMPORARILY, you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation
a
few years later. Because (listen carefully to this):

THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN MARRIAGE IS NOT FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON.

IT'S LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND.

SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience.. It'll
NEVER
just happen to you. You can't 'find' LASTING love. You have to 'make'
it
day in and day out. That's why we have the expression, 'the labor of
love.'

Because it takes time, effort, and energy ... And most importantly, it
takes WISDOM . You have to know WHAT TO DO to make your marriage work.

Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific
things you can do (with or without your spouse) to succeed with your
marriage.

Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity),
there
are also laws for relationships. Just as the right diet and exercise
program make you physically stronger, certain habits in your
relationship WILL make your marriage stronger. It's a direct cause and
effect. If you know and apply the laws, the results are predictable.
..you
can 'make' love.

Love in marriage is indeed a 'decision'.. . Not just a feeling .


No one falls in love by choice, it is by CHANCE. ~Tinkerbell010277 http://Tinkerbell010277.deviantart.com/journal/20752805/ http://Tinkerbell010277.deviantart.com/journal/20752805/ Tue, 30 Sep 2008 02:06:02 PDT A teacher doesn't earn much like what other professionals make but fulfillment comes into scene everytime a student learns . I love being one of them .

Last Sunday , I had the chance to facilitate the LET and for the first time I saw those new education graduates prepare for the test. Some test takers were already at their school assignment as early as 4:30 am . Most of them were very anxious and scared.

So I had my group stand and maybe a deep breath would help them ease their anxieties .

Although, I saw anxious faces I also saw courageous eyes willing to hurdle diffilculties whatever they may be .

One day , when all prayers wil be granted and this government will distribute fairly the budget for Education APPROPRIATELY . Those courageous eyes will reap their rewards and maybe one day I can utter these words to myself , " Ah! I don't only feel good , I also earn good being a teacher ."

]]> ~Tinkerbell010277 http://Tinkerbell010277.deviantart.com/journal/20612025/ http://Tinkerbell010277.deviantart.com/journal/20612025/ Mon, 22 Sep 2008 01:22:59 PDT House Bill 5043 .

What is this bill all about ?
Why is it very controversial ? What does it seek to provide ?
Why is the Church , specifically the Catholic church from the very beginning is against these Bills.
Is it true that HB 5043 a pro-abortion bill and promotes promiscuity to the ONLY Christian country in Southeast Asia ?

I used to be the Reproductive Health Officer for Cebu of a certain NGO back in 2002 . At that time the modules for HB 4110 were so fresh and the commotion that the church was making was at its climax . The bill intrigue me and led me to further study on the bill .

What did I find out ? I found a revised version of the Family Planning . What's so new about it ? What is bad about it ?
At first glance , nothing is bad in fact , the purpose is even really good "the bill would benefit more of woman's health" but then this time everybody will have access to contraceptives and more. When only married couples have had access to it . I am not against Sex education in schools , I am not against promoting family planning , the bill is very good . It would help women more than before however it should NOT be given just to everyone , why give the information to everyone the idea that this and this could prevent pregnancy ? . Why not promote more the side effect of promiscuity and prostitution ?

According to a survey done by Pulse Asia , the latest one conducted in March 2007 * Nine out of ten Filipinos (89%) think that government should allocate funds for modern methods of family planning including the pill , condoms , ligations, and vasectomy.

Filipino nowadays are veryyyyyyyyyyyyyy far from the Filipino that I was taught. I grew up in the city all my life, had my adolescent stage and early adulthood . I was taught that a Filipina is a refine woman . One who dresses decently , moves decently and talks decently . One that is CONSERVATIVE . Yet , MOST OF THE TIME I dont see that now . Especially with the advent of technology . Have I not heard that , it is the Sex capital of Asia ? NOT ACCEPTABLE . But there are so many prostitutes roaming around . Online prostitution is even everywhere. Its a shame!
Everyday I read the paper watch the news , yet I see and hear a world so different from the world which my father and my Aunt Oliva have told me . She's the ever positive , though morally we are both the same, very conservative. She still says there are still quality people left . YOU just have to see them with your heart because they are so rare to find now adays.

There are still very few who live according to the old ways but only very few very very few.

If a crowd of filipinos would say yes they need condoms and pills ... huh! as they say in the survey that 9 out of ten people would prefer to be given FREE ... huh! My dear brother and sisters , If you just want to make a mess out of your lives then by all means suffer the consequences alone . DO NOT include the future generation of our country . Would yout want the future generation to be as promiscuous as you are rigth now ?

I would NOT want my children to be telling me one day "Hey! Mama its ok to fuck anyone I like, it is lawful. I have protection anyway" Goodness!

Why should the government allocate funds for your lust ???

AMENDING the bill would help . Please Do for the future generation of this country . I love this country . I never would want to stay anywhere else .

]]> ~Tinkerbell010277 http://Tinkerbell010277.deviantart.com/journal/20511167/ http://Tinkerbell010277.deviantart.com/journal/20511167/ Mon, 15 Sep 2008 18:24:50 PDT
Anyway, about 4 days ago the news says tHE conflict in Mindanao has been solved however a few hours after the palace released the news .. bakbakan na naman...a soldier died and a few gOT wounded .

It has been 2 weeks now since I watched that midnight TV Program "Diyos at Bayan". The topic then answered why all of these chaos are happening in Mindanao . A certain Memorandum of Agreement that was talking about Ancestral Domain was not signed by the President. The MOA was designed to promote peace but resulted to chaos and like pandora's box it created more trouble. That MOA could have been an instrument of peace but it let everyone expect something that does not exist . They were just waiting for nothing . So out of dismay , lives are being sacrificed. This is not new though going back to history of this country during the Spanish era, for 300 years and then the Japanese came , then the Americans . Though an Independence was declared in 1946 . Have we really gained independence at that time ? I remember It was ONLY in the early 1990's when the US Navy Base left the country for good.

The struggle for independence in this country goes back in April 27, 1521 as the day the Filipinos first declared their freedom.
Somehow the people in Mindanao would only want to have their own independence . Independence from the power of those government officials who disguise themselves as servants of this country . What have they done so far ? Where did all those budget go ? the country wide development fund which cost billions of pesos , what have they done to it ? I may not agree with war being implemented by some groups in the country . I hate killings . I do not agree that innocent lives are being sacrificed just for them to be heard but if they wont make such commotions , the more they wont be heard and who will suffer more in the future? Our children and our children's children.

]]> ~Tinkerbell010277 http://Tinkerbell010277.deviantart.com/journal/20337514/ http://Tinkerbell010277.deviantart.com/journal/20337514/ Fri, 05 Sep 2008 09:26:32 PDT That is Jane , that is just Jane.

The Ideas of other people are great but nothing feels greater if you can express your own fresh ideas in any field that you want.

One thing I've observed everytime I compete with other people in any field I dont succeed but everytime I compete with myself. I always get the best place and the best work . When did I start joining competition ? hmmm , 5 ? 6 ? since I started reading I guess. I didnt always win , but I did learn at first and I tried and I tried again until the skill became so natural like the air that I breathe.

I remember back in kindergarten I didn't stop until I learned how to read and when I learned how to read I didn't stop reading at all. I started joining poetry classes at 5 and then I started
going infront of a crowd memorizing those lonnnnnnnnnnnnng scripts, following that was a whole lot of fun in the theater at 7 until I reached 20 when I finished my college I put a sad face coz I had to work and at the same time finished my masters. I did finish my first M.A and then I took another and finished it a few years back . Now , im on my way to my PhD and Im going back to law school soon hmmmmm naaah I want to join Film School for a while for a change I want something different from what I have been doing for the past 10 years. Teaching children how to read . Training teachers how teach a second and a foreign language .
I want something that was related to my past so I chose to study film .

Soon , that will be very very soon and Im so excited

My Goal : To direct the film of my brother's wedding.
that would be my gift for him for always letting me
borrow money. hahahhha but kidding aside .
The concept is already in my head .
I just need to learn more.

Dare to compete with anyone ? ah ah Nope!
I only want to see fine work from Jane and from other people as well . I refuse to accept work without quality

]]> ~Tinkerbell010277 http://Tinkerbell010277.deviantart.com/journal/20319509/ http://Tinkerbell010277.deviantart.com/journal/20319509/ Thu, 04 Sep 2008 06:05:13 PDT
]]> ~Tinkerbell010277 http://Tinkerbell010277.deviantart.com/journal/20263947/ http://Tinkerbell010277.deviantart.com/journal/20263947/ Mon, 01 Sep 2008 02:48:30 PDT I was actually surprised ...You ?! huh, I never thought you wear earrings at all !

My oh my! Im the only girl in the house yet Im the only one who does not go to the gym , the two of them have membership ... huh! they go facial every month ...ewwww. They have a complete line of beauty products ...ahhahaha and come to think of it they are guys . My only vanity is going to the spa . I love it . Relaxing and so refreshing . Unfotunately , I coudnt wear any jewelries and put anything on my skin. wheew! I can't even put my favorite perfume on otherwise I will have a never ending headache or achooooooooooooo! Wheew! I am that sensitive

I was thinking of those earrings when I saw a male friend who just completely dyed his eyebrows including his whiskers , his hair , his moustache . I even mistook him for an old trainee I once had when I was still working for TEFL, Int'l. Wheeew! What else have you dyed man! haha. YOu migth want to color your hair blue or purple or yellow green ? Lets see how you would look like . HAha You migth want to change your skin color as well or I guess it would be great if you want to change your weigth . Peace man !

Men are so vain .

]]> ~Tinkerbell010277 http://Tinkerbell010277.deviantart.com/journal/20217267/ http://Tinkerbell010277.deviantart.com/journal/20217267/ Fri, 29 Aug 2008 11:15:41 PDT My oh my ,it is your mind playing with you .

Everything that I have written here is coming from me . They are of my own ideas and opinion not from the other writers who work with me . IF I DO ASK ADVICE then that is the only time that you can give an advice , and I will ponder on them . IF I DO NOT ... never mind, if you give when it is not asked , though shall not be heard though , you sound like a broken cymbal .

We all have the right to express our own ideas whatever our race is. I believe there are only 4 people who watches this account . To those who read my journals but are not one of my watch list ... why are you then so affected??
Does your mind saying it is your family ?
or you just want to make an issue out of it ?

Wow!
I thought I left showbusiness a long time ago.haha

I run a local talk show , would you like to join and have that topic on air ?

Work is done for the day . Goodnight England .
Good Morning My Dear Cebu

I am missing home so much.

]]> ~Tinkerbell010277 http://Tinkerbell010277.deviantart.com/journal/20195488/ http://Tinkerbell010277.deviantart.com/journal/20195488/ Thu, 28 Aug 2008 03:41:32 PDT
For a lot of people , it maybe nothing but it only shows how indescent the person is . Uncivilized , Uneducated . Being mad is not an excuse why you could say that . I would admit I get irritated most of the time but I never utter such a word in the middle of my anger. I thank my family though for training me and did their best to put me in an environment where we are not exposed to those indescent terminologies . No one is spared when a kid goes out of the house but maybe I was too busy learning a lot of things in my younger days that I am not able to hear a lot of those indescent words.

I pity those people who hear a lot of "fuck you's" in their lives in any language and dialect. If that is the only word you hear and say . A mute or a deaf person is luckier than you.

In my country - Philippines . Only people who lives in a slum area ( with the exemptions of those very few who never utters them ) OR those prostitutes say that in public . THAT IS A REALITY IN MY COUNTRY. NO educated person , civilized person would utter that in public UNLESS he/she's a prostitute .

( to be continued )

]]> ~Tinkerbell010277 http://Tinkerbell010277.deviantart.com/journal/20181327/ http://Tinkerbell010277.deviantart.com/journal/20181327/ Wed, 27 Aug 2008 09:23:31 PDT
For every action theres a reaction . Hmmm... I heard that from my physics class.

Whatever you do to others though it shall be given back to you. That one is from my theology class.

This one I heard from myself a week ago as I was reprimanding one person ... Though shall not lie to me and dont have affairs with other woman for I shall I know it . Once you chose infidelity . The pain you've caused will be folded 10 times to you and to the family you belong.

A week after I heard someone was hurt in his family . I was saddened , not an innocent child my God . Thus the person I've given those words was scared ...ONLY THOSE WHO ARE IN GREAT SIN ARE SCARED OF A CURSE for a curse will not take effect if you have not done anything wrong...BUT as clear as a spring water ... my words have come into being .

SO BE IT !

DO only things that you want other will do unto you . Do some good things. It will go back to you and to your family a hundred times . Do bad things , it will go back to you and to your family more than a hundred times the pain .

hmmm , I guess I remember now thats one of the law of physics . For every action theres always a reaction .

BOOMERANG!

In the Law of Life that is what you call K-A-R-M-A.

God is really watching !

]]> ~Tinkerbell010277 http://Tinkerbell010277.deviantart.com/journal/20140497/ http://Tinkerbell010277.deviantart.com/journal/20140497/ Mon, 25 Aug 2008 00:03:18 PDT
My Mother saved me again. She passed away 19 years ago but I guess she never left me that until now she still watches over me .

My mom passed away Sept. 21, 1989 . She was 31.

]]> ~Tinkerbell010277 http://Tinkerbell010277.deviantart.com/journal/20107289/ http://Tinkerbell010277.deviantart.com/journal/20107289/ Sat, 23 Aug 2008 04:20:16 PDT
]]> ~Tinkerbell010277 http://Tinkerbell010277.deviantart.com/journal/20070844/ http://Tinkerbell010277.deviantart.com/journal/20070844/ Thu, 21 Aug 2008 02:15:31 PDT
I am taking this short break to write something here coz I cant help but sneeze achoooooooooooo!!!
and it sooo annoying it pisses me off .

Anyway , what are the things that Im afraid of ?
It says there that there can be no courage unless you are scared .

Hmmmmm...

1. I know Im scared to be alone .
( but Jane you are sorrounded with people. My job requires to talk to people , to talk to a whole bunch of people ) but thats not what I meant . I never want to be alone like anyone else. People at work and at my university come and go BUT family stays. So I want to have a family of my own , a good one like the one we had when mama was still alive . I miss those times so much when Mama was still alive and Papa was still young. For me those are the richest moment in my life.

2. I am scared to have a husband who is soooooooo irresponsible .I never would want to have a failed marriage. No one would want to have one. So I really need to carefully choose the man I am to live with the rest of my life . Its NOT ACCEPTABLE if that husband to be has another one .WOW! Guys who think that to have more than one woman in their lives can boost their self-esteem . Well I tell you what... thats only a DEFENSE MECHANISM of those men who are simply insecure of themselves .

3. I am scared to raise my future children in a place where promiscuity reigns . PROMISCUITY is a big NO NO and I CONDEMN anyone who does it . SO greedy , for me people who do it are not human at all . They are beast in disguise, beast in human's flesh .

Environment is a big factor in forming a child therefore if your social environment is evil no matter how good that child is in the family environment sooner or later he will camouflaged the behaviour of his environment.

I have a friend who seem to come from a very good family and used to be a very good person until he had a prostitute girlfriend, so that friend of mine learned to go to bars and learned to do stuff which prostitutes do. That prostitute was his very first girlfriend HE thought that LOVE is nothing all but sex . When he was ditched by that first girlfriend . He got lost and his communication to other people became a mess . He felt unloved and unwanted. I tried to tell him that a lot of people love you and want you to be with their side ... but LOOO LOVE for him became sex , to make him feel wanted is to fuck him and to play in front of him (excuse me for the language I use here)...
Wow! you need a psychiatrist man !
Does your family ever knew that ?!

Love is not sex at all .

Sex is only wonderful when it is NOT catered to all you meet. Disgusting ! It is ONLY wonderful when it is being spared to that someone whom you hold dearly .

I happened to observe monkeys and mice in my anthropology class and these animals would seem to have sexual intercourse to any opposite sex that they will see along the way . My brother's guinea pig, even only after a couple of hours after giving birth would have sexual intercourse to any male guinea pig in her cage .

NOW , thats promiscuity among lower animals . Human , may have the same tendency as that of any lower form , but HEY !!! Would you like to consider yourself lower than that of a monkey and a mouse ????

]]> ~Tinkerbell010277 http://Tinkerbell010277.deviantart.com/journal/20056591/ http://Tinkerbell010277.deviantart.com/journal/20056591/ Wed, 20 Aug 2008 09:28:33 PDT
Jane is on air for you ...

Live from Wimbledon , London !

]]> ~Tinkerbell010277 http://Tinkerbell010277.deviantart.com/journal/19969717/ http://Tinkerbell010277.deviantart.com/journal/19969717/ Fri, 15 Aug 2008 12:07:59 PDT
Naah but in times like this when i just want to lie down and listen to my own voice singing as I slowly go to the place where I can rest... oh well im just so tired and so sleepy ... the song is in my head and I love its lyrics and melody soooo much .

Let me share it here ...

When I'm worried and I can't sleep
I count my blessing instead of sheep
And I fall asleep, counting my blessings

When my bankroll is gettin' small
I think of when I had none at all
And I fall asleep, counting my blessings

I think about a nursery
And I picture curly heads
And one by one I count them
As they slumber in their beds

If you're worried and you can't sleep
Just count your blessings instead of sheep
And you'll fall asleep counting your blessings.

So if you're worried and you can't sleep
Just count your blessings instead of sheep
And you'll fall asleep counting your blessings.

Sigh , matulog na ko sa ako station ...

And I... fall... asleep ...

counting... my... blessings ............

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

]]> ~Tinkerbell010277 http://Tinkerbell010277.deviantart.com/journal/19963206/ http://Tinkerbell010277.deviantart.com/journal/19963206/ Fri, 15 Aug 2008 02:37:12 PDT
]]> ~Tinkerbell010277 http://Tinkerbell010277.deviantart.com/journal/19947323/ http://Tinkerbell010277.deviantart.com/journal/19947323/ Thu, 14 Aug 2008 06:30:10 PDT
]]> ~Tinkerbell010277 http://Tinkerbell010277.deviantart.com/journal/19941465/ http://Tinkerbell010277.deviantart.com/journal/19941465/ Wed, 13 Aug 2008 19:57:41 PDT
I recently heard from you that you dont love yourself .

Well how can you say you love me when you don't even love your own dear ?
Learn to love yourself Leland, that is the only way you can give genuine love to all people around you .

Never pretend to a love which you do not actually feel, for love is not ours to command."

"I cannot think well of a man who sports with any woman's feelings; and there may often be a great deal more suffered than a stander-by can judge of."

"For one human being to love another; that is perhaps the most difficult of all our tasks, the ultimate, the last test and proof, the work for which all other work is but preparation."

"He who is in love is wise and is becoming wiser, sees newly every time he looks at the object beloved, drawing from it with his eyes and his mind those virtues which it possesses."

"Love is not blind - it sees more, not less. But because it sees more, it is willing to see less."
(This answers why Im staying with you INSPITE of everything that I learned from you)

"A woman can forgive a man for the harm he does her...but she can never forgive him for the sacrifices he makes on her account.

"To err is human; to forgive, infrequent."

"The stupid neither forgive nor forget; the naive forgive and forget; the wise forgive but do not forget."

"Where is there dignity unless there is honesty ?" ( do you understand what this means ? )

"No legacy is so rich as honesty."

"Our lives improve only when we take chances - and the first and most difficult risk we can take is to be honest with ourselves."

]]> ~Tinkerbell010277 http://Tinkerbell010277.deviantart.com/journal/19923622/ http://Tinkerbell010277.deviantart.com/journal/19923622/ Tue, 12 Aug 2008 20:39:02 PDT

Innocence Divine
by th3krimzon1

Your innocence...
Is amazing!
Your innocence...
It's captivating!
Your innocence...
Is blinding me!

That little secret smile
That you use
Getting everyone
To do what you want them to!
That flash in your eyes
You can't disguise
Whenever someone catches you...
By surprise!

Your innocence...
Makes me weak!
Your innocence...
Knocks me off my feet!
Your innocence...
Is so hypnotizing...

Your innocence...
It's wild, untamed
And it burns so hot!
Just like an open flame!
The way you flip your hair
Behind your ear
It's just one of those things
That I hold so dear!

Your innocence...
Makes me weak!
Your innocence...
Knocks me off my feet!
Your innocence...
It's so hypnotizing...

Your innocence...
You use it to deceive!
Your innocence...
Because what you really are...
I bet no-one would believe...
You try to hide...
The real you...
But if I can see who you are
Don't you think that others can too?
I want to possess you
Make you mine!
I think about you all the time!
Because your innocence is divine!

jlp August 8, 2008

]]> ~Tinkerbell010277 http://Tinkerbell010277.deviantart.com/journal/19630617/ http://Tinkerbell010277.deviantart.com/journal/19630617/ Sun, 27 Jul 2008 20:46:02 PDT
A week later his disciples were in the house again, and Thomas was with them. Though the doors were locked, Jesus came and stood among them and said, "Peace be with you!" The he said to Thomas" Put your finger here; see my hands . Reach out your hand and put in side. Stop doubting and believe." Because you have seen me, you have believed, blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed."

I am Christian Catholic and I have always believe in Jesus and Mary . There was never a time that I did not. I have always feel her presence , she has always been a mother to me. When I was younger my devotion to her rosary lead me to her Son and I Always owe that to her.

When the so-called Miraculous Image of the Blessed Virgin came to my grandma's place this weekend, I knew it was high time for me focus my attention back to her and to her Son. The best time for me to turn my life's steering wheel 360 degrees in full turn .Time for me to go back to myself and to God.

The whole street is in festive mood when the image of Her came. They said all wishes and prayers are granted . Really???!!! Wow!!! People flocked the place around the church where I was baptized . Candle and flower Vendors too flocked...food carts too flocked in the area and people who sells pictures of the image flocked.

Now that reminds me of a scene Jesus made once at the temple when he kicked and threw those vendors away saying "My father's temple is not a market place."

I'm Catholic so I honor images of Christ and His mother...They're like images/pics of love ones that I treasure so much BUT what I dont really like is the idea of those people selling pictures and images of Christ and his mother in tears rigth in front of the church ... huh taking advantage of the event!

People flock , i love the feeling of being around with believers yet i do not like some people i know going there to see if its true that image really performs miracles. Sure , As Mother of Christ she did and performs more miracles before and now and each day of our lives more to that of the shedding of tears and oil. As for me I spend time with her and sing her songs as way of praising and being with her as I love her and that would be it.

Does her image need to shed tears of blood and oil for her to get Man's attention ? Would you like to see a love one's image or pictures shed in tears and blood for you to believe that she or he is in pain ? Oh C'mon Man of Little Faith...

]]> ~Tinkerbell010277 http://Tinkerbell010277.deviantart.com/journal/19566635/ http://Tinkerbell010277.deviantart.com/journal/19566635/ Thu, 24 Jul 2008 04:18:40 PDT
Anyway, to continue . At first I was all excited about wedding and having kids until I was stood up December last year. HMm , thats what life is sometimes maybe it wasnt really meant to be , wedding appointments were canceled twice after that .. huh! Am I not tired of that . Of course I am . But the real question is . Am I ready to handle family Life ???????? Love ???? Are you okay ??? you dont even know how to cook ! My Aunt said , Dont worry i will learn and so i tried to learn how to cook amazingly I did learn how to cook . But Getting married and Having a family is not that all . That maybe the reason why God with all his beauty and wonder allowed me to meet this wonderful friend ... wheeew! A year younger with four kids ... I first thought it was okay btu stay for a few more days with her . I will rather choose to be in my room , Id rather go back to work . I do not really kow if I coudl handle being a mom , a homemaker and a wife .

She does eveyrhign by hand , from laundry adn eveyrthign in the house . She has to let her kids sleep and some would not even sleep rigth away , the others will still haev to roam around the room and cry even yell .. wheew, the baby is crying , she has to breastfeed .. the laundry is already tooo many , she has to do it all by her hand .her hands look old already as old as her 52 yr old mom. I look at my hands and they still look young . I Have work btu not as much . I look myself in the mirror and I called her and asked come sit beside me . I want to see something .

She cries as she tells me about her life back when she was still single and now that she is married with a husband . She told me ...Jane, i hear you always say having a chidlren and a husband is great but for me its not , you need to choose very careful the man you will live with . I cant live with my husband Im doign it for my kids . I know you always love having a family of your own but I envy you , you can still do anything you want to do and go everywhere you want to go . My husband with all teh sacrifices I amde even counts every single cent he gives ...and is saying he is tired supporting us and she started to cry as she recalls what she heard from her husband last nigth ... the husband was murmuring saying "I am tired of supoprting you all" I wantr to throw this baby out!

She wept as she said "its his baby too" , how come he says things like that? "

Earlier this afternoon as i went home , my room which used to be so gloomy became my comfort zone and as I layed my tired body on my bed .I thought of what happend for the past days . Sure I love babies and having a family . I love him too but Am I ready to face all the more negative and hard things of a family life ?

I dont really know ...wheew!

And Maybe S.L.G. I have you to thank for not coming to our wedding for having stood me up althuogh it was hurting there is always a reason for everything . "I dont know if I am ready" . I wasnt ready with your unfaithfulness maybe not yet more difficulties to come .

I dont know , maybe not yet ...

Sigh ... Im really thinking sooo much!

]]> ~Tinkerbell010277 http://Tinkerbell010277.deviantart.com/journal/19300316/ http://Tinkerbell010277.deviantart.com/journal/19300316/ Wed, 09 Jul 2008 21:08:54 PDT
It is a story of a man and an older woman who ran off to live and love each other in peace for over half a century.

The 70-year-old Chinese man who hand-carved over 6,000 stairs up a mountain for his 80-year-old wife has passed away in the cave which has been the couple's home for the last 50 years.
Over 50 years ago, Liu Guojiang a 19 year-old boy, fell in love with a 29 year-old widowed mother named Xu Chaoqin..

In a twist worthy of Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet, friends and relatives criticized the relationship because of the age difference and the fact that Xu already had children.
At that time, it was unacceptable and immoral for a young man to love an older woman. To avoid the market gossip and the scorn of their communities, the couple decided to elope and lived in a cave in Jiangjin County in Southern ChongQing Municipality.

In the beginning, life was harsh as they had nothing, no electricity or even food. They had to eat grass and roots they found in the mountain, and Liu made a kerosene lamp that they used to light up their lives.
Xu felt that she had tied Liu down and repeatedly asked him, 'Are you regretful? Liu always replied, 'As long as we are industrious, life will improve.'

In the second year of living in the mountain, Liu began and continued for over 50 years, to hand-carve the steps so that his wife could get down the mountain easily.

Half a century later in 2001, a group of adventurers were exploring the forest and were surprised to find the elderly couple and the over 6,000 hand-carved steps. Liu MingSheng, one of their seven children said, 'My parents loved each other so much, they have lived in seclusion for over 50 years and never been apart a single day. He hand carved more than 6,000 steps over the years for my mother’s convenience, although she doesn't go down the mountain that much.'

The couple had lived in peace for over 50 years until last week. Liu, now 72 years, returned from his daily farm work and collapsed. Xu sat and prayed with her husband as he passed away in her arms. So in love with Xu, was Liu that no one was able to release the grip he had on his wife's hand even after he had passed away.

'You promised me you'll take care of me, you'll always be with me until the day I died, now you left before me, how am I going to live without you?'
Xu spent days softly repeating this sentence and touching her husband's black coffin with tears rolling down her cheeks.

In 2006, their story became one of the top 10 love stories from China, collected by the Chinese Women Weekly. The local government has decided to preserve the love ladder and the place they lived as a museum, so this love story can live forever.

]]> ~Tinkerbell010277 http://Tinkerbell010277.deviantart.com/journal/19287224/ http://Tinkerbell010277.deviantart.com/journal/19287224/ Wed, 09 Jul 2008 07:11:25 PDT and a season for every activity under heaven:

a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,

a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,

a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,

a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,

a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,

a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,

a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.

[ Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 ]

]]> ~Tinkerbell010277