http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:Toastuh&section=today deviantART RSS for by:Toastuh en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Wed, 23 Dec 2009 06:09:43 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://Toastuh.deviantart.com/journal/28968695/ http://Toastuh.deviantart.com/journal/28968695/ Tue, 15 Dec 2009 19:07:38 PST
I am glad I am alone right now, because I am crying like a giant dork and muttering nonsensical things under my breath.
Even though my interview was exuberantly horrible, even though I am kind of a weird sometimes, even though AP French last year, even though even though.
I am going to Reed next year.

The most profound thing of today wasn't when I got up at two o'clock in the morning. I had been dreaming that the mail-man, being a kind soul, was delivering my letter early, but had tragically been kidnapped by orcs and I had to go rescue him to get my letter. I awoke with the cat sitting on my face.
The most profound thing wasn't the math test, or ceaselessly checking my e-mail for signs of life. Those were actually kind of pathetic. I was running on three hours of sleep and laughed at everything. I think people would have slapped me if they didn't pity me.
The most profound thing of today wasn't even the e-mail. It wasn't my shaky little hands going "nerp nerp nerp" all over the keyboard. It wasn't even the weird rush thing that happened when I saw the 'accepted' tag at the end of the link sent. It wasn't jumping up and down and interrupting my sister's harp practice with shrill squeaking noises.
The Most Profound and Important Thing was the fact that, when I was freaking out, my friends let me take them to 7-11. It was that, even though the time difference between us and Portland is, like, two hours extra, the friends stayed late and ate dinner with us and watched movies. It was that I have friends to take to 7-11 and who stay for dinner. It was that I have teachers who can write well, who care enough to utilize these talents to do my recommendation letters. It was that I had my family behind me, a school behind me, experiences behind me.

Fuck, I am so excited. I love the whole world, and everybody in it (boom de ya da).

]]> ~Toastuh http://Toastuh.deviantart.com/journal/27270927/ http://Toastuh.deviantart.com/journal/27270927/ Thu, 17 Sep 2009 20:26:40 PDT and I will be at Reactor '09, in case anyone else is going. If you mention to me that you are, I'll make sure to look for you and wave. Or hide. Depending on if you are one of those kind internet people who terrify me.

When we get back, an official report.

News of interest:

-In artistic ventures, ~Feigning-Ignorance and I are doing multiple shoots for her photography class. Shoots which, of course, require us to go to the part of town with the best vintage stores and the best ice-cream on weekends.

-People are generally nice and I should stop worrying about why they act as if they're not.

-Ugggh. College stuff. I'm not doing as much personal art as I'd like; my zombie comic has gotten so behind that, unless I just start the whole thing over, it won't be representative of where I am artistically at all (read as: it will suck and it will show). However, I am applying to the school of my dreams. Literally, my dreams (this is not always a good thing. Last night I dreamed that Richard Dawkins was a pimp and he kept making me get away from my school work to go and be a prostitute for him)(plus, my dreams more or less unfailingly contain some sort of horrific violence). But my dreams about this school were good. Barring the cat-tadpoles that had to be eliminated from the grounds for the balance of nature there to be restored, good.

All of my classes this year, save one, will probably require quite a lot of my attention. I may not post very often because, as sort of touched on above, I don't have time for a lot of personal projects (imagining all the make-up work I will have to do to miss one day for a convention makes me cringe). My outlets right now include doodling 40s archetypes in my sketchbook and not finishing them, getting angry for no reason, trolling my Fashinz Merchandizing is Srs Bzness U Gaiz class (funny stories from this; I'll tell you if you want me to)(nothing makes me RAGE more than '80s fashion,' which in and of itself should be considered an oxymoron), building umbrella robots, and skulking around pretending to be Nikola Tesla. Good times.

But! See you (or not) at Reactor! I'll report back (perhaps in comic form, because that is how I roll)!

And before I forget, tagged me in this neat little survey and it would be a shame not to fill it out.

1.Who is your celebrity crush?
Dr. Steel.

2.What are you most excited for?
Reactor! Tomorrow! College!

3.What was the last thing you bought?
Glossy photo paper, a 'Miskatonic University' tank-top (I plan to study Medieval Metaphysics or Non-Euclidean Geometry or the Book of Eibon there, or take a semester off to go visit Innsmouth) (duhurr).

4.What was the cutest thing you've seen today?
[link]
It's a plushie of the common cold! :3 It's giant! My friend sells these at her work and I'm sorely tempted to procure one! I'm not sure whether to flee or to hug!

5.Does the weather affect your mood?
I like some weather (fog, snow, rain, and crisp, clear days) more than other weather (limp mugginess), if that counts.

6. tell me 5 things you can't live without:

Aside from the obvious needs for living (food, air, shelter, whatever):

1. The Invention of Everything Else, Neutral Milk Hotel, Amanda Palmer, Ethiopian food, steampunk (all come together because they keep me going equally)
2. My family and friends and kitty
3. Good reading material, history/psychLOLogy/steampunk
4. Joy and zest
5. Internet internet internet

7.Say something to the person who tagged you:
O HALO THAR

]]> ~Toastuh http://Toastuh.deviantart.com/journal/26537953/ http://Toastuh.deviantart.com/journal/26537953/ Fri, 14 Aug 2009 16:56:49 PDT
Goggles, boots, and pastries because gloves are SO last year.

This sounds incoherent. It does, and I'm sorry. I try to avoid over-sharing, and end up sounding unnecessarily cryptic in doing so. I'm not trying to be deep, I promise. I'm trying to cram in as much update-related information as I can, and still not tell you all about my personal life.

I'm in a good place right now. I'm eighteen, and very happy to be alive. Breathing isn't so bad, and kind of fun if you do it over and over again. I'm lucky, but I've had enough of a brush with dubiousness to be appreciative. At least, I hope, appreciative enough.

I don't believe in magic, not really, but the more you examine every day events and break them down, the more wondrous they seem. Public transportation, street preachers, live showings of Rocky Horror with dance parties beforehand, parfaits, gentlemanly robots, the kindness of strangers, heartbeats.

I don't have to touch you to know that we can have a great time. And I think that's okay.

PS--
If you like my drawings, please vote on my t-shirt design on Threadless! It doesn't cost anything but a few seconds of your time. If I get enough votes, my design will become a t-shirt for real.
Vote here:
[link]
The original:
[link]
Another t-shirt (still currently pending approval) that I made:
[link]
You can see this one in my gallery too.

]]> ~Toastuh http://Toastuh.deviantart.com/journal/25221172/ http://Toastuh.deviantart.com/journal/25221172/ Tue, 09 Jun 2009 16:50:06 PDT
Today I wore my comedically oversized blue sweater, wandered through intersections, and bought myself a pocketwatch that does not work but looks very cunning. It was a long walk back to my house, and I am growing my hair long, and trying not to gouge at my skin, and smiling more. As one does.

It's nice to step from behind the glass sometimes. The spears will find your organs every time, with or without separation from their world, so you may as well realize respective humanity anyway. That the spears thrown were once held by arms, and that you yourself possess means not only to craft spears of searing power but to pierce others in lethal and detrimental ways. And oh how you have, whether you know so or not. Detriment! The answer is that there is no answer, and that answer may only be reached both by having been pierced, piercing, and reaching out to shield everyone, no matter if they are helpless or helpful or protected or protectors or Cruel, from the torrent.

]]> ~Toastuh http://Toastuh.deviantart.com/journal/24608650/ http://Toastuh.deviantart.com/journal/24608650/ Tue, 05 May 2009 19:57:34 PDT And volunteering, although the presence of said tests over the weekends (usually Saturday mornings) cuts down on time at the local lovely art league (and of course I feel bad because I don't want to give off the impression that I'm shirking my duties).
And drawing my increasingly bizarre dreams (a girl in art class politely asked what nature of drugs I was on upon examining my sketchbook).
And reading, when I get the time (has anyone read 'The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao'? That's next on my list).
And thrifting (a poofy wedding dress from the 20s? YES PLEASE).
And writing.
And working, when I have time, on my dear darling pet project comic.
And and and. And yet, even in the face of such the usual whirlwind of priorities, I have not broken in too much. Whether it should be likened to a bridge or a dam is the question, you see, but even my own brand of admittedly histrionic arm-flailing is... mellowed? That's not maybe the right word. Skirting is more appropriate. Perhaps, Cthulu-like, it lurks underneath and the minute I slow down to realize what I am doing and why, it will come rushing back up and engulf me. Om nom nom nom.
Non-verbose version:
Although lots is going on, I am not as wonky as I thought I would be.

Maybe it's just the comparative stress getting to me, but the world is also increasingly, terrifyingly beautiful. The trees look like popcorn. The dandelions stick up over the green grass. There are bunnies. Bunnies! My friends are the kindest people in the entire world. I have no idea why they would bother hanging out with ME and go over to my house to eat muffins and drink soy milk (the clue to my question may lie here, but I hope not), or why the whole school isn't trying to get on their collective good side. People are human (surprise!), and so it's okay if they mess up. It's okay if you mess up.
It is okay.
Okay.
Neil Gaiman once said something to the amount of that, as you get older, you realize more and more that clichés are sort of true.
I think that's happening to me.
I don't actually mind that much.

]]> ~Toastuh http://Toastuh.deviantart.com/journal/23565170/ http://Toastuh.deviantart.com/journal/23565170/ Fri, 06 Mar 2009 21:42:19 PST I'm updating the art journal now-- something a little perfunctory, apologies. Nothing really new to say. It just looks as if next week will be making me extraordinarily busy and so, you see, an update may be in order while I still can make one? Yes? Yes.
Thanks to the resources in the AP Art Studio room, prettying up the old (and newer) pages of the Maton Project (newcomers: an anachro-Russian zombie steampunk science thriller), is a far more expedient process. I need to scan three more of the old pages in, or re-do them completely (they kind of suck), but other than that, all we need is the dialogue and they'll be posted. See, I get to use them for my concentration. Because I'm that phantasmagorical.
Uhm.
What else.
Friends and I are making a movie. Auditions for parts will be held, although everyone is guaranteed a part, I just need to see where they all go. Then allocation of funds, then shooting, then distribution. I'm not sure if I'll post a link to it here when it's finished; I know better than to trust the internet. But still. Maybe you guys would enjoy it?

Upcoming newstuff/activities/things needing to be done, in no particular order:

-Mai, The Girl With Tentacles for Arms (A Pellucid Analogy)
A short comic/illustrated short story about a beekeeper named Mai who has tentacles for arms. She keeps the tentacles under control with steel gloves, but her boyfriend breaks up with her. Members of the Cthulu Project ("Navigating the Space Between Awe and Horror"), a 'tentacle pride' organization, urge her to cast off her gloves and revel in the sliminess. Rich O'Keefe, a blustery, ruddy pundit, blames his errant pants tentacle for his adulterous dalliances. Kids, in an attempt to be cool, stuff noodles up their sleeves. As it goes.

-A Poem Involving Le Sacre Du Printemps
Because that ballet is bizarre, man.

-Collaborations, Etcetera
The ongoing comic with Emily S., art trades, requests (I will draw stuff for whomever if he or she asks nicely enough), the occasional commission.

-Superjail fanart
Because Mary-Sues and furries and Mary-Sue furries shouldn't have all the fun.

-The Aforementioned Maton Project

-Building A Mothaf*kkin' TESLA COIL
My next big project. Should be fun if I do it right. And, relatedly...

-Dreaming of Steampunk Outfits
Oh please someone just shoot me now this is so pathetic. I do NOT need goggles. Shiny, golden-brassy goggles with cogs and stuff hmmKEEP ME AWAY FROM THEM. And for the sake of everything bright and holy, let me nowhere NEAR boots, or vesty things, or top hats, or or or or--
I'm not even going to go into my love of the 50s.
Or, uh, the 40s.
Or the 60s.
Damnit, my anachronism knows no bounds. I need to be concentrating on school and comics and writing projects, not fantastical contraptions, or alternate realities where I'm secretly a super-cute inventor girl who's gonna ride off into the sunset on a steam-powered blimp with SKY PIRATES WHEEEE.
Gag.

-Not Messing Up Junior Year
Good times, high school is.

]]> ~Toastuh http://Toastuh.deviantart.com/journal/22504769/ http://Toastuh.deviantart.com/journal/22504769/ Sat, 10 Jan 2009 11:31:37 PST Ganked from some other place on the internet. Like all other surveys, ever. But this one spoke to me because it made me tell myself the truth. It's simply fabulous and charmingly caustic. Do it!

Step 1: Fill this in, as such everyone on your watch list may then tell you are not a bad artist. This will let you know how splendid you are, that way you can boost your monstrous ego just a smidgen more.

Step 2: Now that you've got that great ego boost that you needed, you can sit and revel in it, and believe (falsely) that you are so superior than everyone else.


1. [ ] When you doodle, you say it's a simple drawing. (I say it's a doodle. Sometimes they evolve, but mostly not.)

2. [ ] Always provide excuses such as "still in development" (Only when I am honestly not done with something, like a comic that I anticipate will take years. Other, finished things, I can let be.)

3. [ ] Can only create an excuse of "I used a mouse, not a tablet" (Ahaha I've never used Photoshop with anything but a tablet because I just got them both, together! Eeheehee I'm unreasonably exicted!)

4. [x] You only draw faces. (I need to snap out of that. Heads line the top of my workbooks like morbid warnings to other doodles who want to face me in battle. EXPRESSIONS ARE JUST SO FUNNNNN IT'S TRUE I'M SORRY.)

5. [ ] You always draw faces at the same direction. (NOT ANYMORE! Although I am fond of a right 3/4 angle.)

6. [X] The proportion is awful. (Okay, something I feel I need to work on. Anatomy and proportion are important.)

7. [ ] Every character looks the same. (Actually, no. That's never been much of a problem for me. The characters have sometimes looked awful, but they've never looked the same.)

8. [ ] Uses different hairstyle to distinguish characters. (Eyebrows and noses and jawlines and eyes and bodies, bitches. Eur, along with hair.)

9. [ ] Cannot distinguish left and right direction. (Wait... what?)

10. [ ] "Sketch? Who cares about that?" (And by 'who cares' you mean 'incredibly fun'? IT IS INCREDIBLY FUN ABOUT THAT.)

11. [ ] You only draw sketches. (I do about an even three-way split between doodles, sketchbook stuff, and actual, finished work.)

12. [ ] What's a LAYER??? Seriously. (Layers are necessary for my work with comics.)

13. [ ] You always draw one character. (Again, hasn't ever been much of a problem with me. I make sure to draw my characters at least an amount proportionate to their roles in the stories. Even if I don't particularly like them.)

14. [x] You always draw characters in same angle. (Working on that.)

15. [ ] No matter how you draw, it's the same expression. (Pfah no. Why do you think I draw faces with such abandon? Expressions are fun!)

16. [ ] You couldn't draw characters with movement. ( Never had much of an opportunity, but the times I've done it, it turned out pretty well.)

17. [ ] You barely draw feet. (I just finished a project on Huck Finn. Nobody wore shoes back then. Feet and overalls and pipes were all I drew for about three days.)

18. [ ] You can't draw figures from high or low angles. (FORESHORTENING FROM A HIGH ANGLE. THERE'S THIS ONE PANEL I'M RIDICULOUSLY HAPPY ABOUT IN MY COMIC. AND IT'S SO AWESOME.)

19. [ ] You don't even know the definition of high and low angle drawing.

20. [ ] A shitty figure drawing in dynamic pose can be turned into a 4th Dimensional abstract. (What?)

21. [ ] Same character looks totally different when it is drawn in different angle or direction. (Nope! I'm kinda proud of this one.)

22. [ ] You can't even draw anything other than characters or draw everything except characters. (I'm sorta into old buildings right now. And trains. And clothing.)

23. [ ] You can only draw cute characters. (*snerk* I only have one conventionally 'cute' character. And she rips peoples' intestines out with wire.)

24. [ ] You can only draw handsome characters. (I like drawing politicians.)

25. [ ] Hands are your nightmares (Not any more than any other part of the body. Sometimes they're hard, sometimes not. Depends on the angle and position.)

26. [ ] Your character's hands are always hidden behind. (That'd be cheating. And it'd make it look as if they would be holding their butts.)

27. [ ] The idea sketch is professional but the actual quality is shitty. (Bwuh huh?)

28. [ ] You try to cover up one of the eyes with hair so that you can draw only one eye. (NOOOO EYES ARE FUN TO DRAW I LOVE EYES)

29. [ ] Your works are always asymmetrical. (I try to make them as symmetrical as I can. Flipping the page upside down to see from another angle helps immensely. And now that I h... ]]> ~Toastuh http://Toastuh.deviantart.com/journal/21024859/ http://Toastuh.deviantart.com/journal/21024859/ Thu, 16 Oct 2008 23:05:56 PDT
Official updates:

-I started a new comic with a friend. She's writing, I'm drawing, and in almost any other case, the lack of autonomy would bother. But it's cool, because she knows her stuff and she's a competent/amazing writer. The comic's called "Children of Scion," and it's about futuristic gangs. Check it out when I put it up.

-More zombie comic. I'm alternating between "The Maton Project," "Serum E115," or "The Possibility of Crows" for an official title. Less considered among the choices is "Lev the Writer Has Had A Really Shitty Day." The pages on here are quite old by now, and I've improved the characters/character designs/dialogue quite a bit. I'm more familiar with all of them now. Plus, there's this really cool new girl. Her name is Ava the Assassin, and-- you'll find out later, hopefully, if I get the scanner working. She's neat.

-School. Junior year has been thusfar interesting. And hard. If I were to elaborate any more, I'm pretty sure I'd embarrass myself.

-New fandoms to hate and love. They certainly distract me from any real writing I could be doing. I'd tell you my favorites, but the list is long and tragically predictable.

-I'm looking for some sort of exercise outlet. I wanna take a cross-training thing at the local Y in the mornings.

-Also, volunteering at the art league is epicly good fun.

-...And then John was a zombie.

]]> ~Toastuh http://Toastuh.deviantart.com/journal/18641371/ http://Toastuh.deviantart.com/journal/18641371/ Tue, 03 Jun 2008 08:50:05 PDT
Art updates:
I have a ton of comic pages that need to be scanned in, fixed, word-ed, etc. Since Feigning-Ignorace is going to Japan, I will not have access to her scanner or cats. I am, however, in the summer musical at my school, and will have the opportunity to use the unparalled computer lab for my devious purposes, probably. So sorry for lack of updates. Can't get a scanner readily.
Writing is also going pretty well. The TeenInk blog is purportedly getting a lot of traffic. I'm trying to get back into the swing of things with Crazy Talk (the more explicit column that I do for and with my friends. Not as good for college applications, but cussing is fun), as I've just been too busy to juggle two blogs (one of which IS necessary, the other not so much), a few contests, my classes, singing, and track. Now that classes and track are over, I can go back to spraying filthy words over everything.
Also starting what potentially be a new comic with my friend Smith. She's going off to a college or something, but I think it'll work out.

Summer updates:
The aforementioned musical. Uhm, going to Israel, where I will have a fun time doing Jewishy things and trying not to get blown up (not mutually exclusive, mind you).
In other news, one of my favorite retro clothing sites needs models. Not actual models really, just girls who like their stuff and have certain measurements and wear a certain size. I fit these requirements, so I'm sending in some pictures. At worst, they'll say no. At best, I'll have the opportunity to wear my favorite kinds of clothes, and get paid to do so. I mean, when else would I ever get the chance to be a model? I'm five foot three. These opprtunities do not come to me every day.

]]> ~Toastuh http://Toastuh.deviantart.com/journal/18248851/ http://Toastuh.deviantart.com/journal/18248851/ Fri, 09 May 2008 21:11:37 PDT The government tapping our wires.
Same thing, really, except I'm not so sure if the agents enjoy feasting on our leftovers with quite so much vigor.
So anyway. News.
-I have now a blog and, thanks to a contest I entered and won, do not have to pay for the domain. What's more, it's free publicity because it's for a rather large teen magazine.
Contests by the way are descending on me like droves of vengeful birds. All the forms go out in the winter and the results come in the spring. Last week alone, I found that I won six things. Not because I'm especially talented (I'm kind of a hack), but because I'm just the only one who gives a crap. High schoolers do not seem to realize they are only harming themselves with apathy. I'm sick of it. Trying to make people care, or SHOW that they care, is tiring.
-The zombie comic is progressing rather nicely. I'm thinking of calling it "The Maton Project," but I'm not so sure. It takes about an hour just to Photoshop a page (and I have to go over to feigning-ignorance's house to scan said page, as my computer will break if faced with anything more menacing than, say, a song or two). So putting updates up here may take awhile. Apologies for the 2.3 readers.
-Track is over. Still trying to run every day though.
-The X-Files movie. BEST BELIEVE I will camp outside the theater.

]]> ~Toastuh http://Toastuh.deviantart.com/journal/16959826/ http://Toastuh.deviantart.com/journal/16959826/ Tue, 19 Feb 2008 10:25:58 PST
Here is a column called Crazy Talk. Crazy Talk is quite popular with the homeless insane and their mothers.
[link]
Also, the writer is stunningly attractive and super-smart. And modest.

Here are some cool clothing stores:
[link]
[link]
[link]

Here's my eleven year-old sister's DeviantArt page. You should check it out because she's adorable and not a furry.
[link]

Too busy to update with much else. I'll try to get more pictures up here.
And by the way-- Yann Tiersen? YES YES YES. The same for Liza Minelli in "Cabaret," and my agressively flamboyant commie beret (I've named it "RuPaul Popovich"). Running is hard because it is about 9 degrees on average these days. The ice makes me slip, and passers-by are amused by the underage drunk girl in comical running tights. I try to explain that I am indeed not inebriated, but I talk funny anyway, so nobody believes it.
So yes.
My life is going pretty smoothly.
Except for my recent new-person-who-I-know-through-my-friends. He has found it quite important that we must look at his cock. So he sent us pictures. Via cell-phone. While drunk.
And he still condescends to me sometimes. RIGHT. As if getting sloshed and providing "intimate" pictures is a mark of genius.

]]> ~Toastuh http://Toastuh.deviantart.com/journal/16512633/ http://Toastuh.deviantart.com/journal/16512633/ Mon, 21 Jan 2008 20:20:01 PST You know what every short-legged asthmatic should do? Run non-stop for two hours a day (except on Sundays)(we get Sundays off). Oh, especially when they already do too many things after school as it is. And why not start practices during finals? But I keep going in the spirit that I can eat whatever I want, and I will have irresistably sexy legs afterwords. It never stops being weird, saying I'm on the track team. My friends were surprised. I think it's akin to seeing a big, muscular body builder type walking around with a tiny teacup chihuahua puppy in his pocket. An odd contrast. I'm such a geek, doing something comparatively mundane. When not reading David Icke and having fun with dead babies, I jog.
I also may have a job. Tutoring my Dad's friend's child in English once a week. Like baby-sitting, but with AWESOMESAUCE. And I'll get to feel smart. And procure some extra money to put into college/ computer/ cute retro clothing/ coffee (in that order).
Because of the fact I have too many things to do after school, I won't have my computer out during the week. Just... too much going on. And have some zombie comics. They're good for you.

]]> ~Toastuh http://Toastuh.deviantart.com/journal/16281197/ http://Toastuh.deviantart.com/journal/16281197/ Sun, 06 Jan 2008 05:35:01 PST Some resolutions. Because, even though I'm pretty much the most awesome person ever, there's always room for improvement.

1. Concentrate more on Science.
Just because my teacher dislikes me for some mysterious reason (perhaps I'm a jerk and don't know about it), doesn't mean I shouldn't work hard.

2. Be healthier.
Sometimes I eat monumentally nasty crap, and don't go to the gym. This needs to change.

3. Get a job.
Maybe at an eatery or something. I'd like to do an art-related thing, but I realize that this could be hard, because everyone refuses to tell me what they REALLY think of my drawing/writing (because they fear hurting me?), and thus I'm not sure if I'm good enough or not. I despise when people can't critique honestly. It makes me feel even worse about it, like what I draw is so bad that people have to hide from me. 'Course, I'm a hypocrite, because I'm a little afraid to tell people that they suck. Damn tact.

4. Work on my new comic.
Because it's spiffy and it needs working-on.

5. FINALS.
DO WELL. I'm kicking myself in my non-existing nuts for insisting on being in all honors/AP stuff. Honors Chem, as mentioned above, will probably kill me. Math is questionable too. AP Psych'll probably be okay, but I still have to study. French 7-8 A? No idea what's going on there. Gotta start for that.

6. Volunteer.
There's a battered women's shelter in the city, and an orphanage a few blocks away, and I'M NOT DOING ANYTHING TO HELP PEOPLE. I'm just here, using up oxygen and drinking Diet Sunkist. And reading books by Richard Belzer (I found a signed copy! Isn't that SPIFFIN'? Sure, the dedication is to some guy named Michael, but I don't care. Richard Belzer put his sexy, sexy hands on THE VERY BOOK I'M READING.) So yeah. HELP MOAR.

]]> ~Toastuh http://Toastuh.deviantart.com/journal/16034529/ http://Toastuh.deviantart.com/journal/16034529/ Fri, 21 Dec 2007 19:21:47 PST -I'm going to try and shrink my comic down to a scanner-manageable size after I'm done with the first five pages. I'm on the fourth page now, and work will continue after break.
Other news:
Going to my Dad's home-town, some little hamlet in Europe where they harvest cats. I've been learning some handy phrases. I know how to say "horny like a monkey," "you're a fleck of manure," "with cream, please." "Do you speak English?" and, of course, "I don't speak your language." I know how to compliment someone on how spiffy (or SUPER-spiffy) they are, and how to say "O RLY?", and "YA RLY," "bye" and "goodnight" and a other things that we just say around the house. You know, the basics. My accent is abominable though.
AND.
I'm going to New York in the Spring to see Maya and a new assortment of online friends that I've met through her.
AND.
I'm going to Israel in the Summer because I don't deserve my parents.
Finals are in a few weeks. I'm pretty sure my sweat over aforementioned finals could inundate a small village.
And, uhm, I'm frustrated with the lack of writing outlets. I'm terrified I'll lose what little I have in the way of writing ability if I don't use it or expand upon it. I'm afraid I'll crash and burn before I'm even aloft and lit.
A good friend of mine (to whom I must soon send a hat) says that she hates when other people call themselves "artists." This resonated so deeply with me that I had to put it in here. I dislike when people call themselves artists. And writers. I dislike when people call themselves writers without doing anything to merit this title (nothing published, nothing read, nothing won). I dislike when people call themselves cartoonists when they're not. Because being so sure of something is very dangerous when it isn't validated by other, usually smarter people.

]]> ~Toastuh http://Toastuh.deviantart.com/journal/15819641/ http://Toastuh.deviantart.com/journal/15819641/ Thu, 06 Dec 2007 10:51:14 PST Art-related news:
I'm going to try and scan a few portraits of classmates. They may be too big for my scanner, though, so don't count on it.
Ditto with the first two pages of my new comic project which are, after about three weeks, finished. The pages are very large, and I'm not sure if the whited-out bits will show up (if they do, I may have to enlist Sock's mad Photoshoppin' skills). But seriously, guys. This project's gonna be SO SWEET. It's not like Goal-Setters, with bad art and mediocre writing. This time, it's gonna be the best I can do. Everything about it excites me. Hint: zombies, anachro-Russian steampunk, and babies being thrown from trains. And, of course, references to Kafka. Oh, HELL YEAH. My only worry is that the best I can do may not be good enough, may not live up to the vision I have in my head. If I were to stick to it, the comic would take years to make. I'm okay with that if it means the product will be better.
I'm also going to try and scan another theater poster that I've done recently, if the director can get one to me by this weekend.
I won my class poetry slam and made it to the semifinals. If I make it into the finals, I'll put the poem here. I'm torn between wanting to win SO BADLY (as it's one of the only school-sponsored venues in which I can showcase my writing and have a writing-related credit on my college application) and not caring that much (I don't typically enjoy poetry). Either way, it's an honor and I'm happy I got this far. Everyone else in the semifinals was amazing, so I may not make it farther. If that's the case, I wouldn't be suprised (a little disappointed, I'm not going to lie, but...). Whoever wins deserves it.
Other news:
I will not be on the computer much. So sorry if I don't respond to your messages. It just means I hate you and never want to speak to you again-- I mean, I'll be erstwhile preoccupied. School stuff. Family stuff. Has to get worse before it gets better, right? Happy holidays, peeps!

]]> ~Toastuh http://Toastuh.deviantart.com/journal/15367205/ http://Toastuh.deviantart.com/journal/15367205/ Sun, 04 Nov 2007 18:46:13 PST The Anime Reactor convention was this weekend. Sock and I skipped school. We were outlaws. We had our own little table and everything. Now, I do not like manga all that much (I prefer my silly alternative comics). Yeah, sure, it's okay. Some of the art is kick-ass, and I'm pretty sure I lived off of Sailor Moon, Card Captor Sakura, and Pokemon from ages 7-10. Plus, I still enjoy stuff like Hellsing, FLCL, Shin-Chan, Bobobo-Bo-Bobobo, etc. Sometimes I draw with this 'manga-esque' style. But I'm not all, "IF I DON'T HAVE MY NARUTO IN THE MORNING I MAY HAVE TO SLAP A BITCH."
Some people are.
And we spent three days with them.
If I have to see another repulsive fan-being with delusions of bodily grandeur in a badly-done costume, man...
We have new horror stories. Come by and I'll tell you one. We have new dance moves. Come by and we'll show you one.
Not all people at the con were evil, though. The girl across from us was selling a Longcat t-shirt, and I squee'd because, oh my gosh, other /b/tards exist in real life! Plus, she was a totally cool person, and you should check out her account. [link]
Actually, most of the peeps in Artists Alley were super-cool. I didn't get to meet all of them, but I'm sure they were all far more talented than us (plus, older and thus wiser).
The best thing, though, was definitely the intimacy that comes with a smaller event. ACEN was more hectic. In this one, customers would stop by a few more times during the day to chat with us. There were extra chairs. If needed, I could tunnel under the table to make a speedy escape. At ACEN, if I had done something like that, I'd probably have run into someone's legs/seen up a skirt that didn't need to been seen up.
How old people thought I was usually corrosponded directly with what kind of shirt I was wearing.
And, hmmm, what else? Oh! I'm closer to buying a computer, thanks to my obviously AMAZING saleswoman skills.
And I'm having my cheesy movie party next week.
And I have two tests coming up, for which I'm woefully underprepaired.
And I should update here.

]]> ~Toastuh http://Toastuh.deviantart.com/journal/15214451/ http://Toastuh.deviantart.com/journal/15214451/ Thu, 25 Oct 2007 11:10:32 PDT The Reactor convention's in about a week or so. I think I may be more than bothersome to Sock, being all "H'OMG WE NEED TO GET THESE PRINTS DONE. WE CAN'T LOOK BAD IN FRONT OF THE MORBIDLY OBESE, ACNE-RIDDLED FURRY NARUTO FETISHISTS." But yeah. Obsessive. Can't help it, really. Dad says we can make free copies at his work, if we put our art onto a ZIP drive. That's this Friday. Whoo. Then I'll stop sending annoying Facebook messages that sound frantic.
Speaking of Facebook-- while I'm not putting up art here, I'm having a fun time with my Facebook column (it's called Crazy Talk-- maybe I'll show one of the better episodes on DeviantArt some time). And I got my grades back up after this... spell I had. Things happen. But I hate when other people whine about their problems (I'm not proud of this), so I won't whine about mine. I just thought some explaination may be needed. But I got my grades up again, now I'm happier than I've been in some time (maybe it's the three cans of Diet Sunkist in me talking, but...) So it's the perfect time to update here.
I've been looking into colleges, too. Yeah, I can stand to wait for, oh, two years, but it's still good to start. I'm thinking Oberlin. Major in creative writing, minor in art/being a hippy. Or something.
Tomorrow I get up early, and meet the rest of French class at a nearby bakery. I normally bitch about French because I know not a single person in the class (BECAUSE I'M SO SMART, I DON'T NEED NO STINKIN' REGULAR CLASSES), but the older peeps have their perks. Pancakes, for instance.
Then we watch a movie in english, and have a doughnut party in psych. The math teacher won't be in tomorrow, and swimming is over, so we don't have to swim in that frigid, hair-fucking pool. Plus, it's Friday, and I'm scanning stuff. Tomorrow's gonna have to try REALLY HARD to suck.
What's best, I re-found my Kafka collection, and discovered the joy that is the rice cake. Yes!

]]> ~Toastuh http://Toastuh.deviantart.com/journal/14278525/ http://Toastuh.deviantart.com/journal/14278525/ Tue, 21 Aug 2007 20:08:35 PDT I would bore you with vacation details, but since I have no art to show for it, I'd better not. To sum it up: ran a lot, cut my hair, lost weight, and was happier than I'd been most of this vacation.
But on to other matters. I'm not so good with segues when I'm unhappy, so I'll just cut right in.
Every day, I make fun of people who cannot draw (and think they can) and cannot write (and think they can). And I know, deep down, that this may hurt them, but I figure that they have to learn SOMEhow.
Two minutes or so ago, I got a rejection letter. Which isn't much; I've gotten plenty of rejection letters. None of which I've been very upset over, as they didn't mean much to me. Plus, the amount of acceptance letters usually outweighs them. I'm driven. I send stuff everywhere. But this was The Rejection Letter.
At least the editors were kind enough to tell me what to work on. I won't say the name of the place-- name-dropping really isn't my thing, and I have nothing but the deepest respect for them and the work they put out. They were just doing their job, and were rather admirable to tell me what to change, and what they liked/disliked.
But I wasn't prepared for this. I don't think anything could have prepared me for this (except maybe more honesty when it came to my work when I asked people to critique it). It's humbling and terrifying at the same time.
Sorry. I'm trying to not throw this big emo shitfest over it, because I hate when people do that sort of thing. It's just... this kinda meant the world to me. And it came at a spectacularly bad time (not that they could know that I got this the day before school starts).
I'll do better next time. I'll try to improve. I have to.
Gosh, I'm only sixteen (barely, at that). I have time, right? Right? This won't be like the book manuscripts or various poems and whatnot. I will become a cartoonist. It won't be something I do because I need money.
I will be a cartoonist. Because, outside of whining profusely, there's nothing else I feel so deeply about. I write and draw, and I'm admittedly rather good at school, but I'm awkward as hell. People either think I'm cold and calculating and OCD-tacular (all of which are true), or excitable/melodramatic (which is also true). Drawing comics is the best way I can communicate.
And this will mean that I am either useless or that I am dedicated. Probably both.

The only thing worse than being a bad artist is being a bad artist who doesn't know that they're bad. That's probably my problem. I just wish I could've been this honest with myself maybe, I dunno, nine or ten years ago when I started drawing. It would've saved me a lot of owies.
...But I'm not going to give up. I'm going to take the helpful critique, and improve. I will keep putting myself out there. I refuse to let one rejection letter stop me from doing something I've wanted to do ever since I can remember.

]]> ~Toastuh http://Toastuh.deviantart.com/journal/12933836/ http://Toastuh.deviantart.com/journal/12933836/ Sat, 12 May 2007 19:48:57 PDT Our group (the manga club from school) was vahnderfool. Sock, Chris, Matt, Jack, Grace (I didn't see her there though), Sparky, and the NECKBEARD MAFIA. We got this huge table, and the guy next to us knew the man who did GIR's voice on 'Invader Zim.' Our club then split into groups and wandered around.
I started out with twenty-six dollars. Now, you may or may not know this, but twenty-six dollars at a convention buys you pizza and ice-cream. And maybe some water. So! I had to make more money. I dragged out my art supplies (Bristol board, pencils, markers, and a little water color set), and did two dollar drawings of anything anyone wanted (DAMN, I can sell a product).
And let me tell you, there are some weird things people want drawn for them. My favorite moment of the day was when a full-grown man dressed as a Nazi (Crazy coincidence! I suggested 'Goal-Setters' for him) (I seem to attract crazy Nazis) whipped out his PSP and showed me a picture of a naked pregnant!fetish lady that he wanted me to draw.
...I drew it. The whole time he went on about 'Dungeons and Dragons.'
And they didn't even tip. Fuckers.
Yeah, I got up to, uh, $72. Plus the three dollars I gave to Sock for ice-cream. Plus what Jack owes me. To celebrate, I bought three cool cats some frozen goodies, three (over-fuckin'-priced) skirts, and a lovely print.
But! Our group comics (the proceeds of which would benifit the club) weren't making money. So Matt, Sock and I walked all over trying to get people to buy our stuff. There was this annoyingly snooty man who told me that my sales pitch sounded false. Look, I am tired at this point. I could have just told you to buy the fucking comic. That I'm putting effort into making it sound exciting is reason enough to donate two dollars to our club. And... ugh! He said it with such a self-satisfied smirk, as if he were beating this GREAT EVIL of chipper short girls. Yeah, he TOTALLY showed me. Pfft. If you're out there, you smelly, repugnant man: I have a big cock for your mouth. I don't want to be more immature about it than I already am being, and I shouldn't let self-aggrandizing assholes get to me like that (they make themselves look bad most of the time). But man, it gets to me.
Some nice adults in knee-high leather boots and loud makeup were nice enough to buy both of the comics we were pimping, though. I love them, wherever they are. And the girl who called me cute and gave me a hug and a bookmark. She's somewhere on Deviantart. Her name's Centi. Very popular. Check her out.

After the convention, we rode back in the short bus (we were, excuse my not-politically-correctness, animétards), and I drank my tea. I love chamomile. It was strange to go back out into the daylight, where large, sweaty men no longer felt the need to express their inner connection to Sailor Moon through poorly-executed costumes, and one could go ten feet without seeing a store selling ridiculous weaponry.
Ah! Speaking of which, there are some things people should know about cosplay. Being a completely objective bystander, I can honestly say that when you wear anything more revealing than a full-length tube top, you are repulsive. It doesn't matter how skinny or voluptuous you are-- nobody looks good in the light they had there. Don't dress as Sailor Moon (or any character in that show). Don't dress as Kagome from Inuyasha. Those were so damn overdone this year. Boys: "sexy" catboy costumes are asanine. There was this one guy there with disturbing nipples and...ew. Catboys. No. Don't mark on your body unless you can reapply the markings every few hours. Otherwise you look stupid.
Anyway.
All in all the convention was fun. Next year: pre-done artwork seperate from my comic, cosplay (possibly), more agressive pimping, our own stall.

This entry is looooong like a cat. Sorry. I have some paintings I wanna put up here, but I dunno how to go about doing so. They're too big for my scanner. I need to update this place!

]]> ~Toastuh