http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:TomorrowIWasLoved&section=today deviantART RSS for by:TomorrowIWasLoved en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Wed, 25 Nov 2009 01:18:52 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://TomorrowIWasLoved.deviantart.com/journal/21422565/ http://TomorrowIWasLoved.deviantart.com/journal/21422565/ Mon, 10 Nov 2008 14:24:17 PST awesome!

My other school-> also good.

Work-> 24 hours a week with kids, which is hard to handle especially when you still need to study yourself but it's great!

New passport-> GOT IT!

Application form for the American visa (and the rest of documents)-> done.

Application form for the schoolarship in China-> done.

Tickets to Sweden-> booked.

Money for the tickets to Japan-> saved.

Now, I need to call American Embassy and schedule the meeting. I'm sooo stressed about it!

Wish me good luck!

]]> ~TomorrowIWasLoved http://TomorrowIWasLoved.deviantart.com/journal/21093361/ http://TomorrowIWasLoved.deviantart.com/journal/21093361/ Tue, 21 Oct 2008 11:09:47 PDT A few things made me do it but I also relized I didn't want to do the Teaching English specialization anymore.
I always wanted to be a translator/interpreter so I decided to change my specialization and now I'm going to study how to translate/interpret things. And I like it!
I got to know how to teach English during my English Teaching Methodology classes I had last year and that was a nice experience. (It's also all I need to still be able to teach.) But I felt I had to change it as soon as possible.
Some people say it was a big move... It was or not, I think the most important thing is that it was a right move.
My only fear was if I would get right on the second year. I was worried they might have not let me start from a second year. But after they got my grades and other things they did let me! So I'm happy I didn't lose a year and I'm on my second year as I should be.

I also keep studying Chinese which is sooooo hard!
I'm the yougest in the group but also I'm the only one who studies English (as a main thing). The rest of people study Japanese so they know most of Chinese characters (many of them are similar in Japanese and Chinese).
Anyways... It just means I have a lot of work...

After I know where I stand with school (it got pretty complicated at one point) I can do all the things that include my "travel plans" for this year and the next year.
As everyone knows I love to travel.
So I already have tickets to Sweden where I plan to spend my New Years Eve with my best friend and some other people.
The next step is to buy tickets to Japan (I've already saved money for them) where I want to spend my winter break.
And... the most challenging- getting my visa and saving money to visit the States next summer.
I guess it shouldn't be a problem with getting the visa or with saving for tickets (I found pretty cheap ones) but with saving money for living there!
It scares me but well... I'm gonna do my best to save as much as possible hoping my work won't kill me.
And if it will and I won't be able to fully afford the trip to the States then... I will visit USA some other time.
But for now I hope to handle everything believing it's worth my effort.

]]> ~TomorrowIWasLoved http://TomorrowIWasLoved.deviantart.com/journal/20338727/ http://TomorrowIWasLoved.deviantart.com/journal/20338727/ Fri, 05 Sep 2008 11:17:18 PDT It seemed as if perhaps I'd gone insane
What is it about you that has commandeered my brain?
Maybe it's your awesome song or maybe it's the way
When I look at your face I can tell that you're not going to be stopping soon or even slowing down
And if we keep up this pace pretty soon we'll know the name of every kid and every grown up booking house shows in their town.

And if home is really where the heart is
Then wer're the smartest kids I know
Because wherever we are in this great big world
We'll never be more than a few hours from home
And that's important because I need to travel
I've had this itchin in my shoes since I was just a little kid
And before I had a mini van I road the Greyhound bus
My mom would say "I hope some day you get paid for being Kimya Dawson"

And now I do and it's not much
But it's enough
I've got my Scrabble game, food on my plate, good friends and family
And now there's you understanding why I do the things I do
Knowing that you do them too makes me really happy

On the road again
Just can't wait to get on the road again
The life I love is makin' music with my friends
And I can't wait to get on the road again

From a distance, the world looks blue and green
And the snow capped mountains white
From a distance, the ocean meets the stream
And the eagle takes to flight

I'll be your cryin' shoulder
I'll be love's suicide
I'll be do do do do do do
I'll be the greatest man of your life

'cause I like going for hikes and riding bikes
And playing video games in the middle of the night
And I'll stay up late and I won't even care
That we're getting up early to go to the state fair
I'm gonna ride the biggest ride it'll be out of sight
Then I'll share an elephant ear with you if you'd like
Because we are alive so we've gotta live life
To the fullest you spin the bottle and I'll dim the lights
Four five six seven minutes in the closet

You were on my mind at least nine tenths of yesterday
It seemed as if perhaps I'd gone insane
What is it about you that has commandeered my brain?
Maybe it's your awesome songs or maybe it's the way
You go straight to the top you're not scared of getting squashed
You know just when to jump off
You're so brave
And then you run to the right it seems there's no hope in sight
And you drop down to the tube that takes you right to level eight

Life is a highway and I'm gonna ride it
Every day's a winding road yeah
My rollercoaster's got the biggest ups and downs
As long as it keeps goin' round it's unbelievable"

]]> ~TomorrowIWasLoved http://TomorrowIWasLoved.deviantart.com/journal/19917271/ http://TomorrowIWasLoved.deviantart.com/journal/19917271/ Tue, 12 Aug 2008 13:59:31 PDT I was curious as to what is the definition, the basic information... this is what I found:

"A relationship is a particularly close interpersonal companionship. It is in such a relationship in which the participants know or trust one another very well or are confidants of one another, or a relationship in which there can be physical or emotional intimacy. Physical intimacy is characterized by romantic or passionate love and attachment, or sexual intimacy. Love is an important factor in physically and emotionally intimate relationships.
Though the term is notoriously difficult to define, any thoughtful inquiry into the subject will show it to be qualitatively, not only quantitatively, different than liking, and the difference is not merely in the presence or absence of sexual attraction. According to one analysis, love in relationships is divided into two types: passionate and companionate. Passionate love is intense longing, and is often accompanied by physiological arousal (shortness of breath, rapid heart rate). Companionate love is affection and a feeling of intimacy and is not necessarily accompanied by physiological arousal. People who are in an intimate relationship with one another are often called a couple, especially if the friends and family of that couple have ascribed some degree of permanency to their relationship. Such couples often provide the emotional security that is necessary for them to accomplish other tasks, particularly forms of labor/work."

Well... It seems to be so obvious. Two people - they know each other, they trust each other, they even love each other (and as the definition says, it's an important factor) and there is not only passion between them but also affection and willingness to just be together.

But I have a feeling, very often it happens not to be this way anymore. People still want to be in relationships but only in those which are comfortable - short lasting ones where actually only the passionate love is important. Not a companionate one, no providing of emotional security. And I don't mean one night stands or open relationships, no. Just people that don't care about these things anymore, people who are in relationships but they don't need anyone for the emotional security.
But then, some questions appear: What are the rules again? And what actually made this change in our attitudes and values? Whose fault is it and who made the decision about it? Guys or women?

Woman used to be the one that took care of the house, kids, and of course her husband worked hard and made money. And so? Was it a bad deal?

I guess it was because one day women decided to work, vote, and have the same rights as the men have. (And honestly... Were the guys happy at this point? I don't think so.)
The roles of woman and man as well as the rules of relationships have totally changed. Now, we see nice looking ladies who walk or drive their cars to work. They are office managers, directors, journalists and always busy, always in a rush, going somewhere to meet with people, to organize another event or sign something.

The thing is, they want to be independent. Do they just want to? Or maybe they secretly know they have to be because they can't rely on guys? What did guys do to make women feel so insecure? Did they become lazy? Did they stop trying? Or maybe both? Or maybe they are the ones that want a relationship to be short and based just on the passionate love and nothing else? If so, maybe thanks to it, girls know they can't count for any security or they are aware they will be left alone sooner or later? That would be horrible but unfortunately it happens more and more often. More and more often I meet guys that even say that aloud. They want to have girlfriends because it's nice. Of course it is! But the reasons they give, telling why it is nice, are not really the ones that girls would like to hear and to make it clear, no emotional security is mentioned.

And well... relationships like this also works for some women. But today even the independent women (that seem not to need anyone) have still those "old-fashioned" instincts to take care of their men. And if they, as it appears after some time, do not care about anything then.... Is taking care of them worth? I guess not. It only hurts that guys don't appreciate what we do for them and our trying becomes pointless.
In my mind, men are really amazing creatures when it comes to some things but when it comes to being affectionate, sensitive, honest or thankful they fail more and more often. I just wonder w... ]]> ~TomorrowIWasLoved http://TomorrowIWasLoved.deviantart.com/journal/19730721/ http://TomorrowIWasLoved.deviantart.com/journal/19730721/ Sat, 02 Aug 2008 05:56:07 PDT I hate long distances.
I also don't like hedgehogs that suddenly appear on my way with their sharp spines. Wet leaves or foggy narrow streets.

But I do like the letter "M", red hair, empty railway cars, oranges and dotted shoes.

]]> ~TomorrowIWasLoved http://TomorrowIWasLoved.deviantart.com/journal/19572073/ http://TomorrowIWasLoved.deviantart.com/journal/19572073/ Thu, 24 Jul 2008 11:55:16 PDT And a Heaven in a wild flower.
Hold Infinity in the palm of your hand
And Eternity in an hour."

]]> ~TomorrowIWasLoved http://TomorrowIWasLoved.deviantart.com/journal/18680189/ http://TomorrowIWasLoved.deviantart.com/journal/18680189/ Thu, 05 Jun 2008 13:27:23 PDT More and more often it gets almost abstract or even absurdal, seriously. I can't believe that a year ago I was stuck somewhere without knowing what to do or where to go to. Everything was just getting worse and worse...
And now? Every day something happens. Every day I run somewhere, I'm in rush all the time, I actually do things. I meet a lot of new great people, I'm going to get cetificated in Chinese around the end of July and the thing is... suddenly so many opportunities have appeard.
As I said, getting my Chinese certificate, a trip to Berlin around the 5th or 6th of July, then the crazy trip to Scandinavia, an invitation to Japan from a friend of mine, a trip to Australia, an invitation to the Indonesian SPA and finally, next year- the opportunity of getting my scholarship in China!
I think that's hilarious but well...
If it all works, I'm gonna believe again that life is truly beautiful

]]> ~TomorrowIWasLoved http://TomorrowIWasLoved.deviantart.com/journal/18464971/ http://TomorrowIWasLoved.deviantart.com/journal/18464971/ Fri, 23 May 2008 14:40:06 PDT I thought about it when I saw my favorite Forget-Me-Nots in my garden like two weeks ago. (Now it even makes sense why my mom keeps cleaning the house!-> "spring clean")
Well... Instead of spring, the exam session came almost "hitting" me with a great impetus (so it was hard not to notice it)
It means that now I'm trying to concentrate on my tests and exams. (Well... kind of...)
I've passed all of the tests I had so far although the most challenging ones will be in June. *sighs* So it's definitively too early to think of them
Anyways... Life is going pretty ok, I'm fine I guess, and what is more I've already have some plans for the summer what actually makes me very happy. However things like to change (especially my plans for summer) so... yeah... nobody knows what's going to happen in August or September

I hope you all are doing good

]]> ~TomorrowIWasLoved http://TomorrowIWasLoved.deviantart.com/journal/18042999/ http://TomorrowIWasLoved.deviantart.com/journal/18042999/ Sat, 26 Apr 2008 18:14:34 PDT Always in rush, going somewhere, trying to handle everything in what we are used to call "every day life".
And when I finally have time then I'm actually too tired to do anything, to write- to even think of it! It scares me sometimes...
Sometimes it's fun, that's true. Staying busy, working hard may give you motivation to work even harder. Especially when you see good results of your work. It gives you satisfaction and you feel you're good at what you're doing. But is it all about this? Or is it enough?
Sometimes after the whole week, on Saturday afternoon when I'm done with everything and I finally have time for myself, I go my room, I take a deep breath while getting rest and I ask myself "Where the hell am I going to?". Sometimes I have a feeling I just keep going ahead only because I know I have to move and I can't be staying at one place doing nothing. I keep holding on believing it's worth. I think I know what my goal is, I think I know where I want to get to... But it's all just "I think", "I suppose"...
Nothing is clear, nothing is easy and... I'm just worried, one day I may not handle this just by myself. Something will go wrong and I'll say "fuck it". I fear there will be nobody to support me. I would not like this to happen but well... I also would rather like to ask a question "Where are we going to go?" instead "Where the hell am I going to?" but as many things it does not depend on me.

Anyways... Sorry for such a long, boring and maybe a little depressing reflection but it's what I've been lately thinking about.
So... It's 2am. Switching the topic to more optimistic one- I uploaded many new pictures. Finally!
Some of them are from Portugal- a place which is beautiful.
A place which is charming, amazing, and truly special.
A place I really love.
A place which I'm longing to go to.

Last time, it was December. December, January actually... Freaking cold winter in Poland. Still warm sun in Portugal. Unforgettable landscapes on Cabo da Roca (the westenrmost point of Europe), amazing and friendly people, great architecture, culture, cuisine... This country has this kind of a "spirit" I just can't describe with words.
And picking oranges from the trees (in winter) I texted my family and my friends saying "Greetings from Paradise"...
Last time I told myself not to go there unless I'd go with someone. Somone who would enjoy the warm weather. Someone who would feel the thrill looking at the wide ocean standing on a high cliff, someone who would have "this" kind of spirit so he wouldn't have to use any words to describe things.

*sighs* Almost 3am.
I hope you all are going to sleep well

]]> ~TomorrowIWasLoved http://TomorrowIWasLoved.deviantart.com/journal/17381685/ http://TomorrowIWasLoved.deviantart.com/journal/17381685/ Mon, 17 Mar 2008 15:18:24 PDT I feel like it's been forever so I decided to write something and let people know what's going on lately.
But to be honest not too much.
I remember like a week ago I felt happy- today I'm actually trying to figure out what happens around me.
And I feel like I'm let's say... getting lost between some kind of hapieness and illusion that the "hapieness" changes into.
I'm not even able to tell what's more real and why it works in this way.
You probably know this feeling, when you suddenly feel happy- the spring is slowly coming, you realize you have great friends, you randomly meet someone interesting and you think everything is getting better, you hope a good time is coming. But then... for some weird reason everything disappears, blows away and you have a feeling you did something wrong, you made a mistake somewhere- you have a feeling that you just fucked things up.
Everything what you thought was going to be beautiful, became just an illusion. You keep blaming yourself analyzing your each single word and move, wondering what happened, how it was actually possible and what you should believe in.
I have this feeling from last Thursday or Friday. Or maybe even Saturday morning... Hard to say.

I'm not depressed or anything like this. I still have a satisfaction from what I'm doing. I tutor kids who come to my lessons and tell me they're the best in their class and they've got the best grades on the test thanks to me.
It's an AWESOME feeling.
During the weekend I also had to plan a trip to Portugal for one travel agency that asked me for doing this. It was really nice. Especially I'm in love with Portugal
So yeah... I'm doing things I'm good at I think.
But just people around me- those who are my friends and those who I lately met make me very confused and sad in some way.

Yeah, I think that's all for now.

I miss Portugal a lot and I can't wait till spring sunny days come again.
Hopefully they will bring the good time back...

]]> ~TomorrowIWasLoved http://TomorrowIWasLoved.deviantart.com/journal/17157773/ http://TomorrowIWasLoved.deviantart.com/journal/17157773/ Mon, 03 Mar 2008 00:01:19 PST
none of the words was said.

Last night, everything that could have been beautiful

became awful, embarrassing silence.

Last night none of the stars fell down.

It avoided bruises on the author's body.

--------------------------------------------------------

By the way...

We finally have March (I don't like February)

For many reasons it was good weekend

Days are going to be stressful but I hope to handle it.

]]> ~TomorrowIWasLoved http://TomorrowIWasLoved.deviantart.com/journal/17058520/ http://TomorrowIWasLoved.deviantart.com/journal/17058520/ Mon, 25 Feb 2008 14:01:50 PST So my weekend was pretty stessful. I had some work to do for school but I also had to come up with a schedule for my students for this semester. I have more classes myself and more often I get off late. And I don't want t lose any lessons. So I called each of them asking what time we can meet trying to make it work for everyone. And I actually made it.

As a result I end up not having almost any time just for myself (But that's what I wanted I guess- staying busy, I won't have time to fall into any bad mood at least)
On Monday I study and work from noon till 8pm, Tuesday 12-8:30pm, Wednesday 12-9pm, Thursday 10am-9pm, Friday same as Tuesday and also on Saturday I have five hours of lessons with kids.
So yeah... I'm gonna complain around June how tired I am
What's more I still learn Chinese and I want to sign up for a course for translators- I always wanted to be one.
What also made me stressed this weekend was the application had to fill up. It was sooooo long! I still need some references though...

And I think if this job doesn't work out, I'm gonna work this summer for another travel company which actually wanted me to work for them (as a tourist guide and translator)

So now, I'm studying, doing my homework, working on some texts, listening to Chris Botti, drinking tea and wondering if it's going to be another cold, sleepless (and lonely) night...
(Last time I couldn' sleep I got a myspace accound, I wonder what will be this time )

Anyways, take care all of you

]]> ~TomorrowIWasLoved http://TomorrowIWasLoved.deviantart.com/journal/16965576/ http://TomorrowIWasLoved.deviantart.com/journal/16965576/ Tue, 19 Feb 2008 16:47:13 PST I'm pretty tired because I didn't sleep long last night but I just can't fall asleep...

So I'm sitting on my bed, working on some texts for my Academic Reading class listening to an American radio station (it's also what we need to do sometimes for Oral Communication class), drinking orange juice (my favorite one) and thinking of my summer vacation...
I so hope my plans will work out.

Well... Nothing special except that


I've also heard this song tonight and I like it for some reason...

'...Everything is so messed up,
My whole world surrounds you
I stumble then I crawl.
You could be my someone
You could be my scene
You know that I’ll protect you
From all of the obscene
I wonder what your doing
Imagine where you are
There’s ocean in between us
But that’s not very far...'

]]> ~TomorrowIWasLoved http://TomorrowIWasLoved.deviantart.com/journal/16835554/ http://TomorrowIWasLoved.deviantart.com/journal/16835554/ Mon, 11 Feb 2008 15:58:12 PST When I stood on this deck, stranges things I saw
I'm standing on the shore.

Headlands fading out of sight, horizons disappear
Hazy shores and silent seas, nothing so I fear
Air and water, grass and sand, merging into one
In the silence of the mist, I am still alone.

[link]

]]> ~TomorrowIWasLoved http://TomorrowIWasLoved.deviantart.com/journal/16733246/ http://TomorrowIWasLoved.deviantart.com/journal/16733246/ Tue, 05 Feb 2008 03:28:36 PST
It's just a sensitivity of dead morning.

]]> ~TomorrowIWasLoved http://TomorrowIWasLoved.deviantart.com/journal/16564830/ http://TomorrowIWasLoved.deviantart.com/journal/16564830/ Fri, 25 Jan 2008 11:12:48 PST
On Monday I had exam (I passed!) Later at night I didn't sleep AT ALL doing my lesson plans (It really takes time!) but luckily there was a person who kept talking with me the whole night so it helped me a lot- I wouldn't stay awake for so long without it! So big hug for this person
Then on Thusday I also had an exam (I passed) and again... a lot of things to do at night. First I had to prepare to my exams I was going to have on Wednesday and what's more I had to write two essays. The same person who helped me the night before, helped also this time So also big hug or even a kiss because I don't remember last time when someone helped me soooo much! (Thank You!)
So Wednesday was the worst day I think. But on Thursday I had the worst exam Descriptive Grammar! EVERYTHING what includes the word "descriptive" in its name just sucks- remember this
But after very long, amazing, wild, passionate night that I spent with a book "English Grammar for Proficiency Learnes" I've... PASSED!
I'm REALLY proud of myself because I didn't expect it. Well... So everything is going pretty good. I'm beginning to be a little tired but I like this feeling- I feel that I actually live.

]]> ~TomorrowIWasLoved http://TomorrowIWasLoved.deviantart.com/journal/16471474/ http://TomorrowIWasLoved.deviantart.com/journal/16471474/ Sat, 19 Jan 2008 08:25:01 PST
Exams session greeted me with open arms last week. I hope I passed everything so far but I'm pretty worried about next week- 7 exams. It sounds like fun, doesn't it? *is sarcastic*
But... If I pass everything, I'm gonna do another trip I already have a ticket to one concert in Berlin that is in on 31st and after that I'm gonna go somewhere... But I'm not sure yet where exactly.
If you're curious how about me in general- I keep working, studying, learning Chinese meeting with people (although it's hard lately because of the exams) and yeah... I'm stressed. I'm actually fucking stressed. But happy
And I hope to keep my spirit up

]]> ~TomorrowIWasLoved http://TomorrowIWasLoved.deviantart.com/journal/16091191/ http://TomorrowIWasLoved.deviantart.com/journal/16091191/ Tue, 25 Dec 2007 09:41:07 PST
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