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        <title>deviantART: by:TorturedHeartAndSoul</title>
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        <pubDate>Mon, 21 Dec 2009 11:41:46 PST</pubDate>        
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                  <item>
                <title>Ok, Where to start?</title>
                <link>http://TorturedHeartAndSoul.deviantart.com/journal/21854883/</link>
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                <pubDate>Sat, 06 Dec 2008 20:44:07 PST</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ I somewhat have a computer back. Not my own but I have use of one. <br /><br />I am doing comissions and trades, so if anyone is interested in my lousy art lol. <br /><br /><br />My daughter is now 17-18 months old. She is getting into the Terrible 2's. So yay for me! If you wanna be updated about her ask anything, or just ask in general!<br /><br />Besides the fact that being off the computer for a year or so completely killed my typing skillz, Ask me anythign you wanna be updated on!<br /><br />MSN: allmyhiddenfears@hotmail.com<br />Yahoo: unluckytucker@yahoo.com<br />Xbox Live: Its Dead.<br />Cell: Getting a new one soon.<br />Aim: Barely use anymore.<br />SecondLife: Aurokain Nightfire<br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>~TorturedHeartAndSoul</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>Updating........</title>
                <link>http://TorturedHeartAndSoul.deviantart.com/journal/19284026/</link>
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                <pubDate>Wed, 09 Jul 2008 00:26:01 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ Hey uhm, I've been checking my stuff a bit more and such. But i still dont have a computer. Just thought i'd update a bit.<br /><br />My daughter, Adrian Raven, is a year and a month old. She has 6 teeth and is working on 2 more coming in ( canines) She crawls like crazy, and she stands on her own. The other day she took 5 steps toward me by herself. She is a very healthy and beautiful girl. Her hair stayed strawberry blonde, her eyes a creepy blue with a green catseye around the pupil.She speaks several words and 'says please' in her own little way of pointing and waiting until it is handed to her. She gives kisses and hugs, which is the cutest thing ever when you hand her her bottle or her Beany Baby Bunny. She absolutly adores any kind of books. I often read to her and if i dont she will go off and find her own book and sit there turning the pages as she smiles and coos to herself.<br /><br />I am going to college soon and moving out to my own apartment by March of 09 with my daughter, looking for a roommate aswell. I am single and have been so for quite a LONG time. Though i do miss the warmth of cuddling up to a man/woman and speaking sweet nothings to them, i have lived. I am being interviewed for several jobs and soon should have one to care even more so for my daughter, taking some of the weight of it off of my mother. As you all should know by now i am in Cincy Ohio now, more rather Amelia. I do miss a certain few people in my life but must deal with that, even when my heart grows sick for them. I have a new cell phone and an Xbox 360, dunno how long i will have the 360 though we are selling it for a PS3. There have  been too many fuck ups on Microsofts part.   <br /><br />As far as i know this should be the lot of it. if you have any other questions then note me, message me, call me.<br /><br />Xbox Gamertag: sad panda16<br />Cell #: 513-316-3251<br />MSN: allmyhiddenfears@hotmail.com<br /><br />I love you all, and miss you,<br />Jess Kitten/Panda<br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>~TorturedHeartAndSoul</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>MIA: Laptop KO</title>
                <link>http://TorturedHeartAndSoul.deviantart.com/journal/16888252/</link>
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                <pubDate>Thu, 14 Feb 2008 18:45:53 PST</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ Hey guys just to inform all of you here on DevArt.<br /><br />My mothers husband ((NOT my stepfather)) got drunk on Jim Beam tonight and started forcfully throwing my laptop down onto the floor, so now it is completely broken.<br /><br />I dont have enough money to get a new one and it is beyond repair so I will be missing. I will be on every now and then to check messaged and such so if you still wanna talk to me I am able to get to a phone every now and then....So send me  note with your name and number and such, ill write it all down.<br /><br />Well, I love you all annd will miss you <3  Dont forget about me and hopefully I can talk to you guys soon enough.<br /><br />Love<br /><a href="http://aurokain.deviantart.com/"><img class="avatar" src="http://a.deviantart.com/avatars/a/u/aurokain.gif" width="50" height="50" alt=":iconaurokain:" title="aurokain"/></a><br /><a href="http://torturedheartandsoul.deviantart.com/"><img class="avatar" src="http://a.deviantart.com/avatars/t/o/torturedheartandsoul.jpg" width="50" height="50" alt=":icontorturedheartandsoul:" title="torturedheartandsoul"/></a><br /><a href="http://unluckytucker.deviantart.com/"><img class="avatar" src="http://a.deviantart.com/avatars/default.gif" width="50" height="50" alt=":iconunluckytucker:" title="unluckytucker"/></a><br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>~TorturedHeartAndSoul</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>I was tagged..might as well update</title>
                <link>http://TorturedHeartAndSoul.deviantart.com/journal/12890642/</link>
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                <pubDate>Tue, 08 May 2007 17:23:25 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ 1) List four fandoms you have.<br />
- none<br />
<br />
2) Have you ever slept in the back of a car?<br />
and the front! <img src="http://e.deviantart.com/emoticons/b/biggrin.gif" width="15" height="15" alt="=D" title="=D (Big Grin)" /><br />
<br />
3) Have you recently dyed your hair/cut it?<br />
more recently died it black<br />
<br />
4) List four people that you look up to most.<br />
- My mom<br />
- Sir Edgar Allen Poe<br />
- Vincent Price<br />
- The Easter BUnny  - shifty eyes -<br />
<br />
5) How many pets do you own as of now?<br />
3<br />
<br />
6) Which do you prefer white or black?<br />
black<br />
<br />
7) Who is your most played character?<br />
uhm......Aurokain?<br />
<br />
8) Choose one or the other, not both:<br />
...I don't get it.....<br />
<br />
9) Name three aspects that tell who you are.<br />
- Name<br />
- Birth Certificate<br />
- Social Security Number <img src="http://e.deviantart.com/emoticons/b/biggrin.gif" width="15" height="15" alt="=D" title="=D (Big Grin)" /><br />
( what do I win?)<br />
<br />
10) If you could have a power what would it be?<br />
Shape Shifting <img src="http://e.deviantart.com/emoticons/b/biggrin.gif" width="15" height="15" alt="=D" title="=D (Big Grin)" /><br />
<br />
11) Who was the last person you talked to?<br />
Andrew.... <br />
<br />
12) Who was the last person you said "I love you" to?<br />
My daughter<br />
<br />
13) Write down the first five words that pop into your mind<br />
- Pop<br />
- head<br />
- moo<br />
- meow<br />
- ..arf<br />
<br />
<br />
14) What's one thing you wish you could do better?<br />
I dunno.... draw?<br />
<br />
15) Do you like the way you are?<br />
Nope<br />
<br />
16) Choose, Summer or Winter:<br />
Winter<br />
<br />
17) Choose, Rain or Snow:<br />
Isn't it pretty much the same thing just frozen?<br />
<br />
18) Water or Ice?<br />
dude! theyre like the same freakin thing!<br />
<br />
19) List two odd things about yourself:<br />
- I drink milk and water for fun X3<br />
- I choose not to answer this question<br />
<br />
20) Now tag 6 other people who should do this quiz ><br />
<br />
<a href="http://neko-priestess.deviantart.com/"><img class="avatar" src="http://a.deviantart.com/avatars/n/e/neko-priestess.jpg" width="50" height="50" alt=":iconneko-priestess:" title="neko-priestess"/></a><br />
:icondark-necro-mancer:<br />
<a href="http://ookkaammii.deviantart.com/"><img class="avatar" src="http://a.deviantart.com/avatars/o/o/ookkaammii.jpg" width="50" height="50" alt=":iconookkaammii:" title="ookkaammii"/></a><br />
<a href="http://ozzgesetzt.deviantart.com/"><img class="avatar" src="http://a.deviantart.com/avatars/o/z/ozzgesetzt.gif" width="50" height="50" alt=":iconozzgesetzt:" title="ozzgesetzt"/></a><br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>~TorturedHeartAndSoul</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>Just...</title>
                <link>http://TorturedHeartAndSoul.deviantart.com/journal/11717578/</link>
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                <pubDate>Wed, 07 Feb 2007 02:01:16 PST</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ Everybody Moo! Like..like this!<br />
<br />
Moooooo!<br />
<br />
<br />
Now Evreybody chime in, Moooooooo!<br />
<br />
Don't ask...I'm beyond Boredom right no.....oooooh<br />
<br />
A BUTTON! I Wanna poosh it! Can I..Pweeees? ;-;<br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>~TorturedHeartAndSoul</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>Boredom</title>
                <link>http://TorturedHeartAndSoul.deviantart.com/journal/11086734/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://TorturedHeartAndSoul.deviantart.com/journal/11086734/</guid>
                <pubDate>Sat, 16 Dec 2006 18:11:09 PST</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ Hi...<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
I'm Bored....<br />
<br />
<br />
I think I'm losing my mind....<br />
<br />
What's up?....<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Ohkay...BYe...<br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>~TorturedHeartAndSoul</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>Almost a Year</title>
                <link>http://TorturedHeartAndSoul.deviantart.com/journal/10959520/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://TorturedHeartAndSoul.deviantart.com/journal/10959520/</guid>
                <pubDate>Tue, 05 Dec 2006 11:39:52 PST</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ Sorry guys....When I said  a few months I didn't know that all this stupid shit was gonna go on. My life has been even more hectic and well. Heh, I couldn't manage to get back on here, So HERE I AM!!! I'm back!! I think...well...on and off...then I'm movign again in Febuary..sooo...Yeah... o.O; LOL, Crazy life eh?<br />
<br />
Heehee, <3 you all.<br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>~TorturedHeartAndSoul</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>Gone away</title>
                <link>http://TorturedHeartAndSoul.deviantart.com/journal/7299177/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://TorturedHeartAndSoul.deviantart.com/journal/7299177/</guid>
                <pubDate>Tue, 13 Dec 2005 08:34:27 PST</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ Oh kay everybody. I have been MIA for the last 3 months and I will be checking in everynow and then, I am gonna be gone for a few more months. I will be back after the new year, Hopefully. I love you all and thanks to those who still are dealing with these hards times with me. Love you all bunches, Lots and lots!!!! <img src="http://e.deviantart.com/emoticons/r/roseblack.gif" width="15" height="18" alt=":blackrose:" title="Black Rose" /> ]]></description>
                <author>~TorturedHeartAndSoul</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>Is it Worth it?</title>
                <link>http://TorturedHeartAndSoul.deviantart.com/journal/6733330/</link>
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                <pubDate>Mon, 10 Oct 2005 18:39:56 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ I don't know what it is. My throat is choking me, My stomach is tying itself into a knot. My head is always hurting and I just want to sleep forever, I don't feel anything in my sleep, all i do is see nothing, the darkness around me and nothing else, It's a much better feeling than when I'm awake...Eternal sleep...That doesn't sound to bad right now. Everyone is wlaking out of my life, everything is just going terribly wrong. I have no feelings toward anything anymore, there is no hope of me being saved. I was thinking, I can get pills from almost anyone I knw at school...Why not try...If I fail this..Than there really is no reason for me to live. I mean, I wouldn't even be able to kill myself the right way, I'd be a failure at everything in my life. Its gotta to that point when I wake up and my pillows damp, I cry myself to sleep, and I cry when I'm asleep. I wake up and its a dissapointment, I just want to lay in the emptiness of my head when I am asleep. Just float there with no one...and with no thing. Everyday I feel like I am gonna break down, I just feel like crying sometimes, I feel like crying so much and just drowning in my tears. I wish there was an easier way to live, a lane for loosers and quiters on the highway of life. I dont' want to take all of this pain anymore, I act like I'm fine and I act like I will always be here, But I'm not gonna be, You don't know how hard I cry at night. How much pain I am going through. I don't even remember how all of this started. I barely remember anything anymore, I only remember....the pain....lots of pain. I don't know what from, but it's there and it haunts me. It terrifys me so much. Everytime I hear the doorbell or knocking of whatever sort, I pray its the grim reaper to take me with him, into the nothingness he runs, I wish he would carry me off and away from this pain, I wish...he'd never let me return, always trapped there, with no one. ]]></description>
                <author>~TorturedHeartAndSoul</author>
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