deviantART: by:Toume

deviantART: by:Toume http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:Toume&section=today deviantART RSS for by:Toume en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Wed, 23 Dec 2009 03:56:42 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png every thug needs a lady. http://Toume.deviantart.com/journal/28934702/ http://Toume.deviantart.com/journal/28934702/ Mon, 14 Dec 2009 02:26:36 PST

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i feel something rising up inside me
violently,
like a personal storm
that's threatening to drown me
and i'm not trying to be angsty
i just don't know how to breathe anymore.

will someone teach me?
please?

-----

i know it's dark here
you know that i'm scared too
for some reason right now
of everything but you
and right now you're all that i recognize

you know i came here
when i needed your soft voice
i needed to hear something
that sounded like an answer
now i wait here, and sometimes
i get one

it's nothing i'll forget
when the moon gets tired
you are stuck to me everyday
believe in what i am
because it's all i have today
and tomorrow who knows where we'll be
from here i can hardly see a thing
but i will follow every road that brings me to you
for now, forever, for on and on and on

you know it stars here
outside waiting in the cold
kiss me once in the snow
i swear it never gets old
but i will promise you i can make it warmer next year

you know i came here
when i needed your soft voice
i needed to hear something
that sounded like an answer
now i stay here
and everyday i get one

it's nothing i'll forget when the moon gets tired
you are stuck to me everyday
believe in what i am
because it's all i have today
and tomorrow who knows where we'll be
from here i can hardly see a thing
but i will follow anyone who brings me to you
for now, forever, for on and on and on

so go plug in your electric blanket
we can stay in 'till our southern summer wedding day
go plug in your electric blanket
we can stay here.

-------------
Quote Section

"Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things." - George Carlin

It is practically impossible to look at a penguin and feel angry. - Joe Moore

If the English language made any sense, a catastrophe would be an apostrophe with fur. - Doug Larson

Do not meddle in the affairs of cats, for they are subtle and will piss on your computer. - Bruce Graham

I hate women because they always know where things are. - James Thurber

Writing is so difficult that I often feel that writers, having had their hell on earth, will escape punishment hereafter. - Jessamyn West

]]> =Toume wishlist. http://Toume.deviantart.com/journal/28885454/ http://Toume.deviantart.com/journal/28885454/ Fri, 11 Dec 2009 15:22:22 PST

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so. yeah. i know others have already got these up, and i'm a bit late i suppose, but i had to think really hard about all these. as time has gone by, i've found it harder and harder to ask for things.

THE BASICS: write a Christmas/Holiday wish list. It can be any 10 wishes you'd like to have granted, no matter what they are. Possible or seemingly impossible. People look and grant the wishes if they can. It's not about "OMFG PRESENTS", it's about making someone else's holiday a little brighter by giving.

STEP ONE

** Make a post in your journal. The post should contain your list of 10 holiday wishes. The wishes can be anything at all, from simple and fun ("I'd love a Snape/Hermione icon that's just for me") to medium ("I wish for _____ on DVD") to really big ("All I want for Christmas is a new car/computer/house/TV.") The important thing is, make sure these wishes are things you really, truly want.

** If you wish for real possible things, make sure you include some sort of contact info in your post, whether it's your address or just your email address where Santa (or one of his elves) could get in touch with you. In this case, you can always just note someone on dA for the sake of privacy.

** Make sure you post some version of these guidelines in your journal, so that others can join in and participate to spread the holiday joy!

STEP TWO

** Surf your friends to see who's posted their lists. Here's the important part:

** If you see a wish you can grant, and it's in your heart to do so, make someone's wish come true. Sometimes someone's trash is another's treasure, and if you have a leather jacket you don't want or a gift certificate you won't use--or even know where you could get someone's dream purebred Basset Hound for free--do it.

** You needn't spend money on these wishes unless you want to. The point isn't to put people out, it's to provide everyone a chance to be someone else's holiday elf--to spread the joy. Gifts can be made anonymously or not--it's your call.

There are no rules with this project, no guarantees, and no strings attached. Just...wish, and it might come true. Give, and you might receive. And you'll have the joy of knowing you made someone's holiday special.

It's the season for fellow deviants to come together and share some love, and it truly doesn't take much work at all. Come on and make your own wishlist and post it and see what happens-- you never know what might be granted.

I'd like an author's tag that's nifty and has stars on it. I can't seem to make one, but I'd really like to have one.

I have a strange fascination with stars or anything with stars on it, so star things would be greatly loved.

I've been wanting Little Big Planet for my PSP, for a while, but I've never been able to get it for various reasons, so that would be nifty.

I'd like someone to write me a story. It doesn't have to be a love story, or a sad story or anything. It completely up to whoever wants to write it. Just a story. Tell me about something that hasn't happened to you yet. Something happy or sad or weird. I'd like someone to write me a story.

I would like a micro SD card for my phone.

I'd like if each and every person found a reason to smile this season.

I'd like to be able to grant a wish - what's one of yours?

I want someone - or lots of people - to share their favorite music with me. I love music, and new music would be great.

http://Toume.deviantart.com/journal/28817641/ Tue, 08 Dec 2009 01:32:16 PST

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little girl, silly girl,
didn't they ever teach you
not to play with knives?

you always end up cut in the end.

-----

just because i'm losing
doesn't mean i'm lost
doesn't mean i'll stop
doesn't mean i'm across

just because i'm hurting
doesn't mean i'm hurt
doesn't mean i won't get what i deserved
no better and no worse

i just go lost
every river that i ever tried to cross
every door that i tried was locked
oh, and i'm just waiting 'til the shine wears off

you might be a big fish
in a little pond
doesn't mean you've won
'cause along may come
a bigger one

and you'll be lost
every river that you tried to cross
every gun you ever held went of
oh, and i'm just waiting until the firing stops
oh, and i'm just waiting 'til the shine wears off

aha, i gotcha, uh
with the same sword they knight you,
they gon' good night you with
shit, that's only half if they like you
that ain't even the half what they might do
don't believe me, ask Michael
see Martin, see Malcolm
see Biggie, see Pac
see success and it's outcome
see Jesus, see Judas
see Caesar, see Brutus
see success is like suicide
suicide, it's a suicide
if you succeed, prepare to be crucified
media meddles, niggaz sue you, you settle
every step you take, they remind you you're ghetto
so it's tough being Bobby Brown
to be Bobby then, you have to Bobby now
and the question is, "Is to have had and lost
better than not having at all?"
because i'm . . .

oh, and i'm just waiting 'til the shine wears off
oh, and i'm just waiting 'til the shine wears off

-------------
Quote Section

"Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things." - George Carlin

It is practically impossible to look at a penguin and feel angry. - Joe Moore

If the English language made any sense, a catastrophe would be an apostrophe with fur. - Doug Larson

Do not meddle in the affairs of cats, for they are subtle and will piss on your computer. - Bruce Graham

I hate women because they always know where things are. - James Thurber

Writing is so difficult that I often feel that writers, having had their hell on earth, will escape punishment hereafter. - Jessamyn West

]]> =Toume wires and the concept of breathing. http://Toume.deviantart.com/journal/28701226/ http://Toume.deviantart.com/journal/28701226/ Tue, 01 Dec 2009 22:23:11 PST

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too many thoughts.
too little space for them.
i've not forgotten you.
please don't think i ever will.

-----

won't you scream my name?
for the first time
for the last time

as i lay down my life before you
the hiding place where i sought out your eyes
screaming outwards to shoot me back in time
you sent me out in the right field
spilled my words and disguise
we're starting a rise
now it's so true
i can't go on without you by my side
every night we die

hold my breath just to see your ghost
i hold it in my hand for you

won't you scream my name?
for the first time
for the last time

and i regret the moments i gave you
searching for my plans to devour you
i finally found out the truth
you sent me out in the right field
spilled my words and disguise
we're starting a rise
now it's so true
i can't go on without you by my side
every night we die

let go of the wires!
let go of the wires!

-------------
Quote Section

"Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things." - George Carlin

It is practically impossible to look at a penguin and feel angry. - Joe Moore

If the English language made any sense, a catastrophe would be an apostrophe with fur. - Doug Larson

Do not meddle in the affairs of cats, for they are subtle and will piss on your computer. - Bruce Graham

I hate women because they always know where things are. - James Thurber

Writing is so difficult that I often feel that writers, having had their hell on earth, will escape punishment hereafter. - Jessamyn West

]]> =Toume i'm not a thief, i'm a treasure hunter. http://Toume.deviantart.com/journal/28681817/ http://Toume.deviantart.com/journal/28681817/ Mon, 30 Nov 2009 22:04:03 PST

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i am too far away from
the beat of my heart
to tell if it's still working
but i'm hoping you'll be able to tell.

(here is my love
it is all that i've got
to give you.
i'm praying that it's enough.)

-----

the skin around your mouth
the touch of your lips
don't mean as much to me as this
i've never felt so alive
until i figured you out

your words are infectious
your eyes leave me breathless
i think it's safe to say
you're deadly in your own way
i've never felt so alive until
i figured you out

i've got the moves to make you move
the thorn in my side just may be you
i know you know what's going on
i know you know what's going on
this is me without you

breathe easy
the doctors are just about to arrive
just try to run
you can't escape me
this is the last for me

what's it like in the greater sky?

i've got the moves to make you move
the thorn in my side just may be you
i know you know what's going on
i know you know what's going on girl
this is me without you

breathe easy
the doctors are about to arrive
tell me what's it like

breathe easy
the doctors are about to arrive
what a passive thought
when the truth is that i've taken your life

breathe easy
the doctors are about to arrive
now i'm alive

-------------
Quote Section

"Have you ever been in love? Horrible, isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens up your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life. You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so a simple phrase like 'maybe we should just be friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love." - Neil Gaiman

"I've been making a list of things they don't teach you at school. They don't teach you how to love somebody. They don't teach you how to be famous. They don't teach you how to be rich or to be poor. They don't teach you how to walk away from somebody you don't love any longer. They don't teach you how to know what's going on in someone else's head. They don't teach you what to say to someone who's dying. They don't teach you anything worth knowing." - Neil Gaiman

]]> =Toume i think i know. http://Toume.deviantart.com/journal/28641408/ http://Toume.deviantart.com/journal/28641408/ Sat, 28 Nov 2009 23:45:04 PST

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we're on our way back to arizona.
we have no idea how mamaw is still alive.
all she's taken in is water for the last three weeks.
i'm leaving my heart behind in niceville.

speaking of my heart,
patrick bought me a new laptop.
we stood in the frigid cold for black friday outside of best buy and patrick bought me a laptop for early christmas.
which is awesome.
i suppose something good comes out of everything.
and i can't stand that i left.
i know that sounds selfish,
i know it does.
but i miss him and i love him.
and i think those are good reasons to be sad.

mamaw seemed alright when we left.
she told my brother to be good and me to be safe.
and laughed with us.
i don't know.
she may yet outlive us all.

-----

i think i know what killed keith whitley
and it wasn't just the whiskey
even with success there was a sad loneliness
i think i know what killed keith whitley

i think i know what got hank williams
there was an emptiness that filled him
sitting in the back of that long cadillac
i think i know what got hank williams

sometimes the teardrops can't be measured
sometimes the blues have no name
sometimes the feeling something's missing
grabs your heart and won't go away

i think i know what took old johnny
and it wasn't his tired body
he went so soon after losing june
i think i know what took old johnny

sometimes the teardrops can't be measured
sometimes the blues have no name
sometimes the feeling something's missing
finds your heart and won't go away

i think i know what killed keith whitley
and it wasn't just the whiskey.

-------------
Quote Section

"Have you ever been in love? Horrible, isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens up your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life. You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so a simple phrase like 'maybe we should just be friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love." - Neil Gaiman

"I've been making a list of things they don't teach you at school. They don't teach you how to love somebody. They don't teach you how to be famous. They don't teach you how to be rich or to be poor. They don't teach you how to walk away from somebody you don't love any longer. They don't teach you how to know what's going on in someone else's head. They don't teach you what to say to someone who's dying. They don't teach you anything worth knowing." - Neil Gaiman

]]> =Toume hello helicopter. http://Toume.deviantart.com/journal/28580761/ http://Toume.deviantart.com/journal/28580761/ Thu, 26 Nov 2009 01:59:09 PST

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it is a strange, and curious thing,
to sit beside someone
and know that they are dying.

----

hello helicopter, are you here to stay?
bodies, rest and motion, fighting night and day
well it's kill or be killed
and one day we'll get the best of them
hello helicopter, would you be my friend?
will you take me away?

hello helicopter, have you heard the news?
no one gives a shit about the things they do
we all waste and consume, destroy and ruin everything we touch
it's easy not to think when you're not told that much

i'm not saying anything you haven't heard before
i'm just trying to understand the way we are

hello helicopter, are you lost out there?
swimming through the garbage dump that fills the air
in several more years no one will care
they'll be rich and dead
so let somebody else devise a cure for it

i'm not saying anything you haven't heard before
i'm just trying to understand the way we are

nobody seems to care
nobody ever learns
hello helicopter, are you here to stay?
bodies, rest and motion, fighting night and day
well it's kill or be killed
and one day we'll get the best of them
hello helicopter, are you listening?

nobody seems to care
nobody ever learns

are we ever going to get it right?
are we ever going to start making sense
and stop pretending that we care?

are we ever going to get it right?
are we ever going to start making sense
and stop pretending that we care?

are we ever going to get it right?
are we ever going to start making sense
and stop pretending

hello helicopter, are you here to stay?
bodies, rest and motion, fighting night and day
well it's kill or be killed
and one day we'll get the best of them.
hello helicopter, are you listening?

-------------
Quote Section

"Have you ever been in love? Horrible, isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens up your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life. You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so a simple phrase like 'maybe we should just be friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love." - Neil Gaiman

"I've been making a list of things they don't teach you at school. They don't teach you how to love somebody. They don't teach you how to be famous. They don't teach you how to be rich or to be poor. They don't teach you how to walk away from somebody you don't love any longer. They don't teach you how to know what's going on in someone else's head. They don't teach you what to say to someone who's dying. They don't teach you anything worth knowing." - Neil Gaiman

]]> =Toume better. http://Toume.deviantart.com/journal/28520823/ http://Toume.deviantart.com/journal/28520823/ Mon, 23 Nov 2009 00:47:27 PST

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well, you see,
the truth of the matter is,
she's dying
and nothing you or i can do
can stop that.

you've got to let her go.
fussing about her
and giving her no rest,
will only make the process worse.

you've got to let her go.

-----

you live inside a dream
everything tastes so sweet
as long as it agrees with how you feel
you're dancing in your sleep
'till all the eyes that look at me
awaken your anxieties

you're so afraid
so you try to break me

i don't want to care
and i don't want to hate
and i don't want to see you
fall too fara way
all beacuse of fear
cause when you're afraid
you lash out at me
when you say all the things that
you never meant to say
and try to break me

but in the end, what leaves you broken
in the end, makes you better

your face looks so green
when the sun is shining indifferently
and you're standing in the shade
cause face to face you're sweet
like candy sticking to my teeth
but underneath is so damaging

there is no strength in trying to break me

i don't want to care
and i don't want to hate
and i don't want to see you
fall too far away
all because of fear
cause when you're afraid
you lash out at me
when you say all the things that you
never meant to say
and try to break me

but in the end, what leaves you broken
in the end, makes you better

i don't want to hate
i don't want to be broken
i don't want to hate you
i don't want to hate
i don't want to be broken
i don't want to hate you

i don't want to care
i don't want to hate
and i don't want to see you
fall too far away
all because of fear
cause when you're afraid
you lash out at me
when you say all the things
that you never meant to say
and try to break me

but in the end, what leaves you broken
in the end, makes you better.

-------------
Quote Section

"Have you ever been in love? Horrible, isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens up your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life. You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so a simple phrase like 'maybe we should just be friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love." - Neil Gaiman

"I've been making a list of things they don't teach you at school. They don't teach you how to love somebody. They don't teach you how to be famous. They don't teach you how to be rich or to be poor. They don't teach you how to walk away from somebody you don't love any longer. They don't teach you how to know what's going on in someone else's head. They don't teach you what to say to someone who's dying. They don't teach you anything worth knowing." - Neil Gaiman

]]> =Toume address in the stars. http://Toume.deviantart.com/journal/28461215/ http://Toume.deviantart.com/journal/28461215/ Thu, 19 Nov 2009 23:42:57 PST

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well, today was . . . today.

i'm glad we came back.
i got to see patrick today.
but my grandmother was not so well today.

i guess that's just how life is sometimes.

anyway,

-----

i stumbled across your picture today
i could barely breathe
the moment stopped me cold
grabbed me like a theif
i dialed your number
but you wouldn't be there
i knew the whole time
but it's still not fair
i just wanted to hear your voice
i just needed to hear your voice

what do i do with all i need to say?
there's so much i want to tell you every day
oh, it breaks my heart
i cry these tears in the dark
i write these letters to you
but they get lost in the blue
cause there's no address in the stars

now i'm driving through the pitch black dark
i'm screaming at the sky
oh, cause it hurts so bad
everybody tells me
all i need is time
but then the morning rolls in
and it hits me again
and that ain't nothing but a lie

what do i do with all i need to say?
there's so much i want to tell you every day
oh, it breaks my heart
i cry these tears in the dark
i write these letters to you
but they get lost in the blue
cause there's no address in the stars

without you here with me
i don't know what to do
i'd give anything
just to talk to you

what do i do with all i need to say?
there's so much i want to tell you every day
oh it breaks my heart
oh it breaks my heart
all i can do is write these letters to you
cause there's no address in the stars.

-------------
Quote Section

"Have you ever been in love? Horrible, isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens up your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life. You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so a simple phrase like 'maybe we should just be friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love." - Neil Gaiman

"I've been making a list of things they don't teach you at school. They don't teach you how to love somebody. They don't teach you how to be famous. They don't teach you how to be rich or to be poor. They don't teach you how to walk away from somebody you don't love any longer. They don't teach you how to know what's going on in someone else's head. They don't teach you what to say to someone who's dying. They don't teach you anything worth knowing." - Neil Gaiman

]]> =Toume update. http://Toume.deviantart.com/journal/28443521/ http://Toume.deviantart.com/journal/28443521/ Thu, 19 Nov 2009 01:30:30 PST

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if you find Broken Flowers missing from your favorites or my gallery, it's because I've removed it for several reasons, the most important being i'm trying very hard to get it published. if you've got any questions, note me about it. thanks!

well, we made it to florida about midnight local time. my grandparents were awake and told us a little about what's going on.

my great grandmother is 92 years old, her 93rd birthday is this year. she just recovered from oral cancer. november the 6th she was put in the hospital because she was retaining fluid and when they opened her up they found out that she was just eat up with cancer. she's at home now, with a hospice nurse. she's in a lot of pain, and she's having trouble swallowing anything. they've ordered her this liquid medicine that they can give her drops of but it's not here yet. she's not eating anything, just drinking water and a little of tea and soda. she's not had a bowel movement since nov. 6th.

but the amazing thing is that she's got a good spirit. i know that we all get to that age, and i know that every single person will have to go through this grief at some point in their lives.

i don't handle grief well. i'm not sure that i ever have. i internalize, and pretend it doesn't bother me.

everyone says i'm always the happiest person they know; i'm just beautiful inside and out. sometimes i think i'm just a very good liar.

i think what's bothering me the most is i feel like i don't feel right. like, i'm not feeling the right things. i love my great grandmother very, very much. she was always the one to pick us up from school when we weren't feeling good, and she's always doted on me and my brother. we aren't her only great grandchildren or grandchildren, but she's always been very good to us. i don't know if it's because our family is the one that's always been there or not, but i digress. i don't know how to feel though. i feel like i'm a bit disconnected, like i've been hard-wired wrong when it comes to the sad feelings. i just, push them aside and pretend they aren't there, and it stops bothering me. i feel like maybe that's the wrong way to do things. i feel like maybe i'm just, put together wrong. maybe god did mess up when he hooked me up and maybe i've just gained a skewed perception of things.

i mean, i don't feel nothing abuot this. i know that i'm sad, i can feel that burning hollow at the base of my throat and when i think about her not being there, it makes my throat close up and i wonder if my children will know their great grandparents as well as i know my great grandma and i think about how utterly frail we all are and how susceptible to disesase and decay we are and i know that when she's gone she'll be the first person in my family to die that i'll really have real honest true memories of that i can share with my children and say "that's your great, great grandma. you never got to know her, but she was a wonderful woman."

i feel all those things, and it tears me up inside.

but at the same time, it's not . . . present. it's like, just under my skin where it can't hurt me too deeply. i don't know if i've always dealt with sadness that way. i have no recollection. i've never really let myself be sad, i suppose.

maybe i am broken after all?

we're going over to see my mamaw tomorrow. i don't know how i'll handle things.
i'm supposed to sing at her funeral. she always loved hearing me sing. told me how
i should get a recording contract and make some money that way.

i'm wondering if she ever read any of my writing. i don't know. i can't remember if i've ever shown her what i've really done with my time.
none of my family really has seen what i can do.
am i selfish for hiding this? am i a bad person for not sharing with them?
i've never thought about it. i always just sorta brushed it aside when they asked when i was getting myself published, when i was going to make money off of what i love to do.

sometimes i wonder if they know me at all, or if i've just let them think i'm this perfectly perfect happy child, because that's what i was supposed to be, and instead of giving them all the parts, i just kept these parts to myself because . . . it was safer?

sorry.
i am rambling.
below is the song i'm going to sing at her funeral.
i can't even listen to it without crying.

-----

you're in a better place
i've heard a thousand times
and at least a tho... ]]> =Toume urgent. http://Toume.deviantart.com/journal/28418512/ http://Toume.deviantart.com/journal/28418512/ Tue, 17 Nov 2009 16:56:28 PST

twitter. | myspace.

just so you guys know,
i'll be offline for a little while.
we're making an emergency trip to florida.

love you all.
if you pray,
keep my grandparents in your prayers.
my grandma's about to lose her mom.

-------------
Quote Section
If you read the Black Dagger Series by J.R. Ward, you'll come to find the Brothers are quite the group of characters.
Here are a few of my favorite quotes.

"You have what I like to call a 'male brow'. Which is a frown brought on when you're thinking about your male and you either want to boot him in the ass or wrap your arms around him and hold on 'til he can't breathe."

"Like I said, my man, it's whatever. You and me? Same as always, no matter who you screw. Although . . . if you're into sheep, that would be tough. Don't know if I could handle that."
V had to smile. "I don't do farm animals."
"Can't stand hay in your leathers?"
"Or wool in my teeth."

Qhuinn smiled, baring his fangs. "Has anyone ever shown you the difference between good touch and bad touch? 'Cause I'd love to demonstrate. We could start right now."

]]> =Toume stars. http://Toume.deviantart.com/journal/28347423/ http://Toume.deviantart.com/journal/28347423/ Sat, 14 Nov 2009 06:52:08 PST

twitter. | myspace.

i'm making my own wishing stars now.
take that, universe.

----

she thinks she missed the train to mars
she's out back counting stars
she thinks she missed the train to mars
she's out back counting stars

she's not at work
she's not at school
she's not in bed
i think i finally broke her

i thought she'd be there holding daisies
she always waits for me
she thinks she missed the train to mars
she's out back counting stars

i found her out back sitting naked
looking up and looking dead
a crumpled yellow piece of paper
with seven nines and tens

i thought she'd be there holding daisies
she always waits for me
she thinks she missed the train to mars
she's out back counting stars

i thought you'd be there holding daisies
you always wait for me
she thinks she missed the train to mars
she's out back counting stars

-------------
Quote Section
If you read the Black Dagger Series by J.R. Ward, you'll come to find the Brothers are quite the group of characters.
Here are a few of my favorite quotes.

"You have what I like to call a 'male brow'. Which is a frown brought on when you're thinking about your male and you either want to boot him in the ass or wrap your arms around him and hold on 'til he can't breathe."

"Like I said, my man, it's whatever. You and me? Same as always, no matter who you screw. Although . . . if you're into sheep, that would be tough. Don't know if I could handle that."
V had to smile. "I don't do farm animals."
"Can't stand hay in your leathers?"
"Or wool in my teeth."

Qhuinn smiled, baring his fangs. "Has anyone ever shown you the difference between good touch and bad touch? 'Cause I'd love to demonstrate. We could start right now."

]]> =Toume four leaf clover. http://Toume.deviantart.com/journal/28281814/ http://Toume.deviantart.com/journal/28281814/ Tue, 10 Nov 2009 22:30:39 PST

twitter. | myspace.

well,
i don't know if we'll be going to florida yet.
i think i'll find out tomorrow.
this is what i do know though,
my great grandmother - who recently
made a recovery from oral cancer -
went into the hospital sunday afternoon.
she was retaining fluid and so they wanted to find out why.
they knew that she'd had a hernia and they figured that
that was the reason for the fluid retention.
they apparently cut her open to take care of the hernia,
and found her ate up with cancer.
we're going to find out from the doctors tomorrow
just how much time they think she's got left.
the hardest part of waiting,
is not knowing.
meh.

oh well.
have a song.

love you all.

--------

i would spend my days in isolation
in a cafe talking to myself
love was never in the conversation
i couldn't get it right, but that was life

always just a friend, never a lover
i'm the one they call for good advice
always seemed it was something or other
but my love reappeared, and now it's all so clear

for once in my life i'm gonna get it right
i want long-stemmed roses and a kiss goodnight
i'm gonna know how it feels when the stars align
you'll be my four-leaf clover, and we'll star over

for once in my life i'm gonna make a change
i'm gonna deal with myself, i'm gonna rearrange
one step at a time, we'll take it day by day
you'll be my four-leaf clover, and we'll start over

love has now come into the equation
things are looking brighter than before
i finally caught the train at the station
should i take that ride?
i think i'll give it a try

for once in my life i'm gonna get it right
i want long-stemmed roses and a kiss goodnight
i'm gonna know how it feels when the stars align
you'll be my four leaf-clover, and we'll start over

for once in my life i'm gonna make a change
i'm gonna deal with myself, i'm gonna rearrange
one step at a time, we'll take it day by day
you'll be my four-leaf clover, and we'll start over

this is something heavy
but i think i'm ready
my luck has come around
it turned me inside out
i'll test the water, fan the flame
i'll walk the plank, i'll play the game
yes, i'll play the game

for once in my life i'm gonna get it right
i want long-stemmed roses and a kiss goodnight
i'm gonna know how it feels when the stars align
you'll be my four-leaf clover, and we'll star over

for once in my life i'm gonna make a change
i'm gonna deal with myself, i'm gonna rearrange
one step at a time, we'll take it day by day
you'll be my four-leaf clover, and we'll start over

for once in my life i'm gonna get it right
i want long-stemmed roses and a kiss goodnight
i'm gonna know how it feels when the stars align
you'll be my four-leaf clover, and we'll start over

for once in my life i'm gonna make a change
i'm gonna deal with myself, i'm gonna rearrange
one step at a time, we'll take it day by day
you'll be my four-leaf clover, and we'll start over

-------------
Quote Section
If you read the Black Dagger Series by J.R. Ward, you'll come to find the Brothers are quite the group of characters.
Here are a few of my favorite quotes.

"You have what I like to call a 'male brow'. Which is a frown brought on when you're thinking about your male and you either want to boot him in the ass or wrap your arms around him and hold on 'til he can't breathe."

"Like I said, my man, it's whatever. You and me? Same as always, no matter who you screw. Although . . . if you're into sheep, that would be tough. Don't know if I could handle that."
V had to smile. "I don't do farm animals."
"Can't stand hay in your leathers?"
"Or wool in my teeth."

Qhuinn smiled, baring his fangs. "Has anyone ever shown you the difference between good touch and bad touch? 'Cause I'd love to demonstrate. We could start right now."

]]> =Toume update. http://Toume.deviantart.com/journal/28272244/ http://Toume.deviantart.com/journal/28272244/ Tue, 10 Nov 2009 15:17:25 PST

twitter. | myspace.

so,
might be making an emergency trip to florida,
i'm not sure yet.
my great grandmother is in the hospital
and we're not sure right now how everything's going.
it's probably terrible of me to say,
but i'd like to go to see patrick.
but, if i go, i probably won't be on until i get back.
i'm not sure yet.

-------------
Quote Section
If you read the Black Dagger Series by J.R. Ward, you'll come to find the Brothers are quite the group of characters.
Here are a few of my favorite quotes.

"You have what I like to call a 'male brow'. Which is a frown brought on when you're thinking about your male and you either want to boot him in the ass or wrap your arms around him and hold on 'til he can't breathe."

"Like I said, my man, it's whatever. You and me? Same as always, no matter who you screw. Although . . . if you're into sheep, that would be tough. Don't know if I could handle that."
V had to smile. "I don't do farm animals."
"Can't stand hay in your leathers?"
"Or wool in my teeth."

Qhuinn smiled, baring his fangs. "Has anyone ever shown you the difference between good touch and bad touch? 'Cause I'd love to demonstrate. We could start right now."

]]> =Toume winter. http://Toume.deviantart.com/journal/28257022/ http://Toume.deviantart.com/journal/28257022/ Mon, 09 Nov 2009 21:30:28 PST

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sooner or later you've got to let go, dear.
sooner or later you've got to move on, dear.
sooner or later you've got to forget, dear.
sooner or later you've got to forgive, dear.
sooner or later you've got to mend, dear.
sooner or later you've got to dance, dear.
sooner or later you've got to love, dear.
sooner or later you've got to earn it, dear.
sooner or later you've got to grow up, dear.
sooner or later you've got to give up, dear.
sooner or later you've got to slip up, dear.
sooner or later you've got to kiss ass, dear.
sooner or later you've got to fail, dear.
sooner or later you've got to lie, dear.
sooner or later you've got to cry, dear.
sooner or later you've got to break hearts, dear.
sooner or later you've got to follow through, dear.
sooner or later you've got to learn this, dear.
sooner or later you've got to stop dreaming, dear.
sooner or later you've got to be me, dear.

sooner or later you've got to let go.

------

was it really
years ago?
did you need me?
well i'll never know
i'm sorry for clinging
i'm sorry for wanting more
my heart was there for you
pounding down your door.

maybe it was timing
maybe i was too much
running behind you
pushing my love
well, you weren't ready
and you said you thought i knew
but i was taken by your beauty
i was lost inside of you

winter made a sound
maybe next time if you need me
i'll be around
he'll be around
he'll be around
he'll be around

i never meant to swallow you
you never were my savior
maybe just my lover
maybe nothing more

now one more winter
has passed so silently
and i'm tired of longing
that you'll come back to me

winter made a sound
maybe next time
if you need me
you'll need me
and winter made a sound
i know
if you love me
i'll be around
he'll be around
he'll be around
he'll be around

now one more winter i know
one more winter i know.

-------------
Quote Section
If you read the Black Dagger Series by J.R. Ward, you'll come to find the Brothers are quite the group of characters.
Here are a few of my favorite quotes.

"You have what I like to call a 'male brow'. Which is a frown brought on when you're thinking about your male and you either want to boot him in the ass or wrap your arms around him and hold on 'til he can't breathe."

"Like I said, my man, it's whatever. You and me? Same as always, no matter who you screw. Although . . . if you're into sheep, that would be tough. Don't know if I could handle that."
V had to smile. "I don't do farm animals."
"Can't stand hay in your leathers?"
"Or wool in my teeth."

Qhuinn smiled, baring his fangs. "Has anyone ever shown you the difference between good touch and bad touch? 'Cause I'd love to demonstrate. We could start right now."

]]> =Toume show me the river. http://Toume.deviantart.com/journal/28245940/ http://Toume.deviantart.com/journal/28245940/ Mon, 09 Nov 2009 15:27:48 PST

twitter. | myspace.

trying out a new skin.

sometimes i wish we could trade in our skins
for new ones when our hides get too thin
to handle what the world throws at us.

i don't think that would fly though.

-----
ps. eastmountainsouth rocks.

i've been a traveler of faraway lands
i've got love on my mind
but death on these hands
come homeward angel,
show me the way
or will fate leave me dead
in the tracks where i lay

show me the river that leads to my home
back to the one that i love
show me the wind that constantly flows
and i will fly away, fly away home

since we parted i know i have changed
you'll see the blood that was shed
in the lines on my face
but now that i've turned
my back on the fight
i'm gonna steal back my life like a thief in the night

show me the river that leads to my home
back to the one that i love
show me the wind that constantly blows
and i will fly away, fly away home

i come to you through fire and snow
over high rolling hills and the valleys below
with all that i've suffered i'm still on this road
and if i hold you again
i will never let go

show me the river that leads to my home
back to the one that i love
show me the wind that constantly blows
and i will fly away
fly away home

-------------
Quote Section
If you read the Black Dagger Series by J.R. Ward, you'll come to find the Brothers are quite the group of characters.
Here are a few of my favorite quotes.

"You have what I like to call a 'male brow'. Which is a frown brought on when you're thinking about your male and you either want to boot him in the ass or wrap your arms around him and hold on 'til he can't breathe."

"Like I said, my man, it's whatever. You and me? Same as always, no matter who you screw. Although . . . if you're into sheep, that would be tough. Don't know if I could handle that."
V had to smile. "I don't do farm animals."
"Can't stand hay in your leathers?"
"Or wool in my teeth."

Qhuinn smiled, baring his fangs. "Has anyone ever shown you the difference between good touch and bad touch? 'Cause I'd love to demonstrate. We could start right now."

"Were you raised in a barn? Don't be ruuuuuuuuuuuuuude, my boy. They're a gift."
Blay shook his head. "Take them, John. You're just going to lose this argument, and it will save us from the theatrics."
"Theatrics?" Qhuinn leaped up and assumed a Roman oratory pose. "Whither thou knowest thy ass from they elbow, young scribe?"
Blay blushed. "Come on -"
Qhuinn threw himself at Blay, grasping onto the guy's shoulders and hanging his full weight off him. "Hold me. Your insult has left me breathless. I'm agasp."
Blay grunted and scrambled to keep Qhuinn up off the floor. "That's agape."
"Agasp sounds better."
Blay was trying not to smile, trying not to be delighted, but his eyes were sparkling like sapphires and his cheeks were getting red.
With a silent laugh, John sat on one of the locker room benches, shook out his pair of white socks, and pulled them on under his new old jeans. You sure Qhuinn? 'Cuz I have a feeling they're going to fit and you might change your mind.
Qhuinn abruptly lifted himself off Blay and straightend his clothes with a sharp tug. "And now you offend my honor." Facing off at John, he flipped into a fencing stance. "Touche."
Blay laughed at him. "That's en garde, you damn fool."
Qhuinn shot a look over his shoulder. "Ca va, Brutus?"
"Et tu!"
"That would be tutu, I believe, and you can keep the cross-dressing to yourself, ya perv." Qhuinn flashed a brilliant smile, all twelve kinds of proud for being such an ass. "Now, put the fuckers on John, and let's be done with this. Before we have to put Blay in an iron lung."
"Try sanitarium!"
"No, thanks. I had a big lunch."

]]> =Toume ghost. http://Toume.deviantart.com/journal/28229818/ http://Toume.deviantart.com/journal/28229818/ Mon, 09 Nov 2009 02:36:11 PST

twitter. | myspace. | livejournal.

dear heart,

you're such a fickle little thing.
always pushing me one way,
then the next,
then back the way we came because, after all,
it was safer there, wasn't it?

dear heart,

this has got to stop, my love.
we can't keep running circles this time
hoping we'll get tripped up in the right
direction.
we've got to move on.

dear heart,

didn't i tell you we couldn't take this?
i tried to warn you, darling,
really, i did.
you're only going to lead us into trouble.
let me take over for a bit.
i promise not to get us into too much trouble.

dear heart,

maybe we should just give up the whole thing
and go back to the time when boys had cooties
and teenage-mutant-ninja-turtle bandaids
were the only thing that made us feel good.
maybe we should just scrap all this heartache
and go back to the time when grasshoppers were the scariest thing out there
and we spray painted our pink Barbie house black
and the hardest part of the day was sitting out recess.
maybe we'll just let the lungs and blood vessels and
skin and brain and teeth and lips and hair
and eyes and collar bones and wingbones take over.
we'll just go along with the rest of them.

dear me,

well, look at where we're at.
silly us.
i guess we never learn.

----

the ghost of you
has almost faded now
you're drifting in and out
of my life
when leaves fall you'll come right back
'cause i was yours for a little while

you will always be
a ghost who lives and breathes
and you lay me down in reverie
every tear that falls
remember me

and i thought i heard your haunting sigh
like your love for me,
you said it will never die
but i've grown accustomed to your long good-bye
i wish you were mine,
hey, wish you were mine

you will always be
a love who failed to see
it was cold inside your mystery
every year that falls
remember me

and i can't let you go
i can't let you go
no

you will always be
a ghost who lives and breathes
and you broke my heart
but i'll make you see
every tear that falls
remember me

every tear that falls
remember me.

words to build dreams on

(amen.)
..| I | A d o r e | You | H a r d c o r e. |..

Patrick

Katrina

Krystal

Shane

Brett

Shannon

=Toume have you seen my love? http://Toume.deviantart.com/journal/28221275/ http://Toume.deviantart.com/journal/28221275/ Sun, 08 Nov 2009 15:31:33 PST

twitter. | myspace. | livejournal.

you know,
and before anyone gets upset
this is all just my opinion, but,
i sincerely believe that if you want to argue for something
(a bill, a law, someones' rights, etc.)
research what side you're planning on being on
and get the facts about what's really going on with those issues.

i'm so tired of getting into discussions -
and i won't lie, i've been misinformed before too -
with people who don't know what they're talking about.

this goes onto the religion thing too.
don't base arguments just on the "you're wrong." theory.
you can't make me think i'm wrong,
because just like you (and whoever else thinks like you)
thinks you're right and i think i'm right.

maybe i'm rambling. i don't know.
i'm just sick of fights and arguments and
discussion after discussion about
how nothing's going to change because
"God doesn't want it that way."

you know what?
I believe in God. I believe in the Bible.
and I've even been known to believe in things like
elves and faeries (why not? you can't prove to me they don't exist either.)
and i believe that God, who created us and loves us,
gave us the choice to make things the way that we want to.
and now, that we've gone and fucked up everything,
we've got the nerve to say "Why God? Why did you do this?"
he didn't. we did. we asked for freedom and now we curse him
for the very thing he loved us enough to give us.

that's just my perspective
and please, i'm not out to start a fight.
i'm tired of the fights.
i'm just plain tired.

love you all.

------

have you seen my love?
is he far away?
have you seen the one for me?
his face lights up the day.
i won't let one boy
steal a kiss
or call me his
instead i'll wait for his voice
to call out and carry
these daydreams away

have you seen my love?
is he far away?
have you seen the one for me?
i won't let him get away
please tell him that i'm waiting for him
praying for him
night and day
for now i'll be a lonely girl longing
for his sweet embrace

please tell him that i'm waiting for him
praying for him
night and day
for now i'll be a lonely girl longing
for his sweet embrace.

words to build dreams on

(amen.)
..| I | A d o r e | You | H a r d c o r e. |..

Patrick

Katrina

Krystal

Shane

Brett

http://Toume.deviantart.com/journal/28204943/ Sat, 07 Nov 2009 19:08:56 PST

twitter. | myspace. | livejournal.

working on
the dead don't have names.
and
broken flowers
and the nine feet long catastrophe
that's supposed to be a 6ft by 5ft blanket.
oi. it's been a long few days.

love you all.

----

with one or two i get used to the room
we go slow when we first make our moves
by five or six bring you out to the car
number nine with my head on the bar

and it's sad, but true
out of cash and i.o.u.'s

i've got desperate desires and unadmirable plans
my tongue will taste of gin and malicious intent
bring you back to the bar
get you out of the cold
a sober, straight face gets you out of the cold
and they're scared that we know
all the crimes they'll commit
who they'll kiss before they get home

i will lie awake
lie for fun and fake the way i hold you
let you fall for every empty word i say

barely conscious in the door where you stand
your eyes are fighting sleep while your mouth makes its demands
you laugh at every word trying hard to be cute
i almost feel sorry for what i'm going to do
and your hair smells of smoke
who will cast the first stone?
you can sin or spend the night all alone

brass buttons on your coat hold the cold
in the shape of a heart that they cut out of stone
you're using all your looks that you've thrown from the start
if you let me have my way, i swear i'll tear you apart
cause it's all you can be
you're a drunk and you're scare
it's ladies night, all the girls drink for free

i will lie awake
and lie for fun and fake the way i hold you
let you fall for every empty word i say

i will lie awake
and lie for fun and fake the way i hold you
let you fall for every empty word i say

i will lie awake
and lie for fun and fake the way i hold you
let you fall for every empty word i say

words to build dreams on

(amen.)
..| I | A d o r e | You | H a r d c o r e. |..

Patrick

Katrina

Krystal

Shane

Brett

Shannon

~wellwornwings

..| C u r r e n t | Q u o t e |..

dum spiro spero.
(while i breathe, i hope.) ]]> =Toume shooting the moon. http://Toume.deviantart.com/journal/28187906/ http://Toume.deviantart.com/journal/28187906/ Fri, 06 Nov 2009 21:30:06 PST

twitter. | myspace. | livejournal.

so,
i'm making blankets.
just thought you'd like to know that.
i've got like, ten to make so far.
they're coming along pretty good.
i had one minor mishap.

i sorta forgot that a yard is 3 feet
and told the lady to measure out
3 yards of fabric for two blankets.
so now i have two blankets that are roughly 5 feet wide
and 9 feet long.
and i can't help but giggle each time
i think of how stupid that is.

i'm trying to decide if i should trim the extra YARD
off or just leave it and say i did it on purpose.
sheesh.
i think i need more honest sleep.
i'm getting a little looney.

love you all.

-------

all of the astronauts
champagne in plastic cups
waiting for the big hero to show
outside the door he stands
his head in his hands
and his heart in his throat

what can he tell them now?
'sorry i let you down,
sorry it wasn't quite true.
but don't get hung up on it,
just soldier on with it.
and good luck with shooting the moon.'

shooting the moon
shooting the moon
the moon
shooting the moon

all of the principals
generals, admirals
and the podium lit with the spotlight
the crowd buzzes quietly
waiting expectantly
like it's opening night

what can he tell them now?
'sorry i let you down
sorry it wasn't quite true.
but don't get hung up on it
just soldier on with it
and good luck with shooting the moon.'

shooting the moon
shooting the moon
the moon
shooting the moon.

words to build dreams on

(amen.)
..| I | A d o r e | You | H a r d c o r e. |..

Patrick

Katrina

Krystal

Shane

Brett

Shannon

~wellwornwings

..| C u r r e n t | Q u o t e |..

dum spiro spero.
(while i breathe, i hope.) ]]> =Toume if i could be where you are. http://Toume.deviantart.com/journal/28165704/ http://Toume.deviantart.com/journal/28165704/ Thu, 05 Nov 2009 17:11:01 PST

twitter. | myspace. | livejournal.

meh meh meh.

running out of ways to say
i'm tired as fuck
and it's just getting worse.
trying not to be pessimistic.
that's not the kind of girl i'm supposed to be.

oh well.
new books are coming to me
and those always make me feel better.
if reading made you fat
i'd be morbidly obese.

highly recommend
The Gargoyle by Andrew Davidson
The Thirteenth Tale by Diane Setterfield
The Raw Shark Texts by Steven Hall
The Shack by William Paul Young
The Mortal Instruments series by Cassandra Clare (my favorite is the first and last, but all three are awesome reads)

anything by J.R. Ward, Sherrilyn Kenyon, P.C. Cast, Kresley Cole, Gena Showalter or Emily Hopkins. Also, Steven King, Richard Bachman, Wilbur Smith and Dan Brown. and if you're feeling into the classics, Emily Bronte, Dominick Dunne, Geoffery Chaucer. then there's Robert Heinlen and Anne McCaffery. ooh, and Edgar Allen Poe - I've always had a soft spot for him.

anyway, i guess my point in all that is that you should read. it doesn't really matter what. i'm crazy into the paranormal romances but i love the horrors and mysteries. i like religious fiction and books about satanist ritual killings. all in all i like reading. music and the written word are my addictions. i don't think that'll change.

oh well. at least it's a healthy one.
although with the amount of money it accumulates,
it may not be the healthiest of them.
oh well.
at least it's not drugs.

and in case you were wondering,
that's about the way that my brain runs.

i love you all.

-----

where are you this moment?
only in my dreams
you're missing, but you're always
a heartbeat from me
i'm lost now without you,
i don't know where you are.
i keep watching, i keep hoping
but time keeps us apart.

is there a way i can find you
is there a sign i should know
is there a road i could follow
to bring you back home?

winter lies before me
now you're so far away
in the darkness of my dreaming
the light of you will stay

if i could be close beside you
if i could be where you are
if i could reach out and touch you
and bring you back home

is there a way i can find you
is there a sign i should know
is there a road i could follow
to bring you back home to me?

words to build dreams on

(amen.)
..| I | A d o r e | You | H a r d c o r e. |..

Patrick

Katrina

Krystal

Shane

Brett

http://Toume.deviantart.com/journal/28091751/ Sun, 01 Nov 2009 16:34:45 PST

twitter. | myspace. | livejournal.

having an affair with music.
you should try it sometime.

-----

my boy builds coffins with hammers and nails
he doesn't build ships, he has no use for sails
he doesn't make tables, dresses or chairs
he can't carve a whistle cause he just doesn't care

my boy builds coffins for the rich and the poor
kings and queens, them all knocked on his door
beggars and liars, gypsies and thieves
they all come to impact, he's so eager to please

my boy builds coffins he makes them all day
but it's not just for work and it isn't for play
he's made one for himself
one for me too
one of these days he'll make one for you

my boy builds coffins, for better or worse
some say it's a blessing, some say it's a curse
he fits them together in sunshine or rain
each one is unique, no two are the same

my boy builds coffins and i think it's a shame
that when each one's been made, he can't see it again
he crafts everyone with love and repair
then it's thrown in the ground and it just doesn't fit

my boy builds coffins he makes them all day
but it's not just for work and it isn't for play
he's made one for himself
one for me too
one of these days he'll make one for you

words to build dreams on

(amen.)
..| I | A d o r e | You | H a r d c o r e. |..

Patrick

Katrina

Krystal

Shane

Brett

Shannon

~wellwornwings

..| C u r r e n t | Q u o t e |..

dum spiro spero.
(while i breathe, i hope.) ]]> =Toume okay, i believe you, but my tommy gun don't. http://Toume.deviantart.com/journal/28024094/ http://Toume.deviantart.com/journal/28024094/ Thu, 29 Oct 2009 05:53:19 PDT

twitter. | myspace. | livejournal.

one of these days
i'll stop answering the phone calls
and text messages that just seem to wear me the hell out.
the only thing i want to say is
"well, put on your big girl panties and deal."
but that's not what they want to hear from me.
i'm the one who's supposed to say
"it's okay sweetheart. you haven't done anything wrong. everyone else is out to get you and make you look the fool."
why?
the real answer is,
"yes, it's your fault. yes, they don't like you because of what you've done. no, i don't like listening to you whine. yes, i think you're a liar and a fake and out for attention i don't have to spare. yes, you look the fool. sorry. being an adult sucks. suck it up and grow up or stop swimming and drown. life isn't just a board game. life's solution doesn't lie in making lemonade from lemons. unfortunately, you've put yourself into a crappy place and you're just gonna have to live with it. not saying i don't know how you feel. just saying you're gonna have to put on your big girl panties and deal."
sigh.
it's okay.
i know i'm being terrible.
i'm just tired of fixing people who won't give me the time of day otherwise.

by the way world,
i'm just as tired as they are.
we all are.
let us breathe, please?

more the dead don't have names. and Broken Flowers soon.

----

i am heaven sent,
don't you dare forget.
i am all you've ever wanted
what all the other boys all promised.
sorry i told. i just needed you to know.
i think in decimals and dollars
i am the cause to all your problems,
shelter from cold. we are never alone.
coordinate brain and mouth.
then ask me what it's like to have
myself so figured out.
i wish i knew.

i hope this song starts a craze.
the kind of song that ignites the airwaves.
the kind of song that makes people glad to be
where they are
with whoever they're there with.
this is war.
every line is about
who i don't want to write about anymore
hope you come down with something
they can't diagnose, don't have the cure for.
holding on to your grudge
oh it's so hard to have someone to love
and keeping quiet is hard
cause you can't keep a secret
if it never was a secret to start
at least pretend you didn't wanna get caught

we're concentrating on falling apart
we were contenders, we're throwing the fight
but i just wanna believe, i just wanna believe
i just wanna believe, in us.

oh, we're so
c-c-c-c-c-controversial.
we are entirely smooth.
we admit to the truth
we are the best at what we do
and these are the words you wish you wrote down
this is the way you wish your voice sounds,
handsome and smart.
oh my tongue's the only muscle on my body
that works harder than my heart
and it's all from watching tv
and from speeding up my breathing
wouldn't stop if i could
oh it hurts to be this good
you're holding on to your grudge
oh it hurts to always have to be honest
with the one that you love
oh, so let it go

we're concentrating on falling apart
we were contenders, we're throwing the fight
but i just wanna believe, i just wanna believe
i just wanna believe
we're concentrating on falling apart
we were contenders, we're throwing the fight
but i just wanna believe, i just wanna believe
i just wanna believe, in us.

this is the grace that only we can bestow
this is the price you pay for loss of control
this is the break in the bend
this is the closest of calls
this is the reason you're alone,
this is the rise and the fall

we're concentrating on falling apart
we were contenders, we're throwing the fight
but i just wanna believe, i just wanna believe
i just wanna believe
we're concentrating on falling apart
we were contenders, we're throwing the fight
but i just wanna believe, i just wanna believe
i just wanna believe, in us

words to build dreams on

http://Toume.deviantart.com/journal/27900084/ Thu, 22 Oct 2009 03:50:38 PDT

twitter. | myspace. | livejournal.

so.
sorry, i didn't mean to be gone.
i've some new things to put up though.
it's a rough outline of what it'll be
but i hope you'll read it all the same.
look for the dead don't have names.
and tell me what you think.

love you all.
(and for those who wondered,
my birthday was eventless.
the wedding the day after was beautiful.
and no, it wasn't mine.)

-----

take a look at my body
look at my hands
there's so much here
that i don't understand

your face-saving promises
whispered like prayers
i don't need them
i don't need them

i've been treated so wrong
i've been treated so long
as if i'm becoming untouchable

contempt loves the silence
it thrives in the dark
with fine-winding tendrils
that strangle the heart

they say that promises
sweeten the blow
but i don't need them
no, i don't need them

i've been treated so wrong
i've been treated so long
as if i'm becoming untouchable

i'm a slowly dying flower
frost killing hour
the sweet turning sour
and untouchable

i need
the darkness
the sweetness
the sadness
the weakness
i need this

i need
a lullaby
a kiss goodnight
angel sweet
love of my life
oh, i need this

do you remember the way
that you touched me before
all the trembling sweetness
i loved and adored?

your face-saving promises
whispered like prayers
i don't need them
no, i don't need them

oh, i need
the darkness
the sweetness
the sadness
the weakness
i need this

i need
a lullaby
a kiss goodnight
the angel sweet
love of my life
i need this

is it dark enough?
can you see me?
do you want me?
can you reach me?
or i'm leaving

you better shut your mouth
hold your breath
kiss me now
you'll catch my death
oh, i mean it.

words to build dreams on

(amen.)
..| I | A d o r e | You | H a r d c o r e. |..

Patrick

Katrina

Krystal

Shane

Brett

Shannon

~wellwornwings

..| C u r r e n t | Q u o t e |..

dum spiro spero.
(while i breathe, i hope.) ]]> =Toume another year gone. http://Toume.deviantart.com/journal/27628522/ http://Toume.deviantart.com/journal/27628522/ Wed, 07 Oct 2009 07:11:28 PDT

twitter. | myspace. | livejournal.

so, today it's my birthday.

somehow, i feel like crying.

words to build dreams on

(amen.)
..| I | A d o r e | You | H a r d c o r e. |..

Patrick

Katrina

Krystal

Shane

Brett

Shannon

~wellwornwings

..| C u r r e n t | Q u o t e |..

dum spiro spero.
(while i breathe, i hope.) ]]> =Toume i am trying very hard to be here. http://Toume.deviantart.com/journal/27489995/ http://Toume.deviantart.com/journal/27489995/ Tue, 29 Sep 2009 16:36:30 PDT

twitter. | myspace. | livejournal.

sometimes we live each others lives.

sometimes we slip into each others skin
and we dream each other's dreams
and thoughts that i don't own
tattoo themselves on my skin
in a tactile reminder of
tremulous acts done in darkness.

ruinous fingertips leave marks
all over you and me
and the dreamsmemorieslives
that we share.

who's living my life for me?

-------

before you came
what was your name?
did you look like me?
no one's from here,
no one my dear,
not even the trees.

so change your name
just keep your face
we're temporary anyway
before you came we played this game
in our masquerade.

flash, flash
car crash
we're no fixtures
quick, now
quick take our picture!

what was your past?
when was the last time that you recall
someone you knew
was someone who asked
nothing of you?

so lose your past
i'm sure you'll find
it's in the way all the time
before you're through
you're someone
who looks a lot like you

we can't remember the seasons
we chant in the manmade snow
we can't recall the feelings
that we cannot show.

----

by the way. the new afi album rocks.

words to build dreams on

(amen.)
..| I | A d o r e | You | H a r d c o r e. |..

Patrick

Katrina

Krystal

Shane

Brett

Shannon

~wellwornwings

..| C u r r e n t | Q u o t e |..

dum spiro spero.
(while i breathe, i hope.) ]]> =Toume resistance. http://Toume.deviantart.com/journal/27272420/ http://Toume.deviantart.com/journal/27272420/ Thu, 17 Sep 2009 22:34:13 PDT

twitter. | myspace. | livejournal.

this world is in a sorry state friends.
on many planes.
not just the economy, although that's worth raising a troubled brow over.

i've ranted and railed many times on the judgmental nature of people and how we treat those who are different like lesser creatures. and yes, i'm going to rant about it again.

mostly i'm going to rant about work.

now, for those that don't know i work in a jail.
and this particular jail is in some serious need of help.

we have a commander who is questionable, a lieutenant liable to blow at the slightest thing, and a sergeant so overworked he can't do his job. we have five corporals, three of whom i wouldn't put my life in their hands. several officers who are incompetent and fail to realize what working in a jail really means, and tower operators who are either frazzled about the shit that's happening, or completely oblivious.

we've had some serious incidents in the last couple of weeks, not to mention the news my lovely little town is drawing in, and it's creating this huge sense of stress in the jail. i was talking with one of my corporals and we were discussing how the whole jail seems to be riding on a hair-line fissure and it's about to go. all the inmates are pissed off and i don't necessarily blame them for their feelings. they keep getting told one thing and the upper crust turns around and pisses on their word, and then we're stuck cleaning up the mess. i realize that they're in charge and can say whatever the fuck they want, but seriously?

i've seen my commander - my jail commander - in uniform three times since i started working there. twice for funerals and once because someone dared her to wear it for a change. and that's wrong. our lieutenant and commander have a working relationship that doesn't work and how the hell is that supposed to benefit us? and our sergeant is really an awesome sergeant. he really is, he has a great grasp on how the jail is supposed to be run, but he's so damn over-worked and has the LT and commander on his ass at every corner. instead of helping us fix things in the jail, they bitch and moan and write us up for shit we did wrong that we didn't even know was wrong.

i mean, how am i supposed to know something if you don't effin' tell me?

jesus h.
anyway.

everything else i have to rant about has to do with gay rights, gas prices and ludicrous government rulings.
on to happy things.

so,
i'm going to the fall frenzy in phx tomorrow.
yay.

i'm also working on some stuff literature-wise so don't give up on me yet.
and i am absolutely in love with Muse's new album The Resistance.
but then again, i just adore muse.

anyway.
i love you all.

oh.
ps.
my birthday is coming.
yay.

------

is your secret safe tonight?
and are we out of sight?
or will our world come tumbling down?
will they find our hiding place?
is this our last embrace?
or will the world start caving in?

he could be wrong, could be wrong
but he should have been right
he could be wrong, could be wrong
let our hearts ignite
he could be wrong, could be wrong
are we digging a hole?
he could be wrong, could be wrong
this is out of control
he could be wrong, could be wrong
it could never last
he could be wrong, could be wrong
must you raise it fast?
he could be wrong, could be wrong
but he could have been right
he could be wrong, could be wrong

love is our resistance
they'll keep us apart
and they won't stop breaking us down
hold me
our lips must always be sealed

if we live our life in fear
i'll wait a thousand years
just to see you smile again
kill a breath for love and peace
you'll wake the thought police
we can hide the truth inside

he could be wrong, could be wrong
but he should have been right
he could be wrong, could be wrong
so let our hearts ignite
he could be wrong, could be wrong
are we digging a hole?
he could be wrong, could be wrong
this is out of control
he could be wrong, could be wrong
it could never last
he could be wrong, could be wrong
must you raise it fast?
he could be wrong, could be wrong
but he could have been right
he could be wrong, could be wrong

love is our resistance
they'll keep us apart
... ]]> =Toume blue does. http://Toume.deviantart.com/journal/26885774/ http://Toume.deviantart.com/journal/26885774/ Fri, 28 Aug 2009 22:33:04 PDT

twitter. | myspace. | livejournal.

new favorite song.
i'm going to pretend it was written for me.
^_^

--------

blue does everything i've never seen before
blue does everything i've never seen before
she's the answer to the prayer i haven't found
she's the answer to the silence, she's my sound
oh what a girl
oh what a beautiful girl
she is

blue does everything i've never seen before
blue does everything i've never seen before
she's the answer to the prayer i haven't found
she's the answer to the silence, she's my sound
oh what a girl
oh what a beautiful girl
she is

i said,
oh what a girl
oh what a beautiful girl
she is

oh what a girl
oh what a beautiful girl
she is.

words to build dreams on

(amen.)
..| I | A d o r e | You | H a r d c o r e. |..

Patrick

Katrina

Krystal

Shane

Brett

Shannon

~wellwornwings

..| C u r r e n t | Q u o t e |..

dum spiro spero.
(while i breathe, i hope.) ]]> =Toume bang bang. http://Toume.deviantart.com/journal/26865344/ http://Toume.deviantart.com/journal/26865344/ Thu, 27 Aug 2009 20:47:14 PDT

twitter. | myspace. | livejournal.

my baby shot me down.

i'll be posting up a couple chapters tonight/tomorrow morning.
i believe i've got two for Broken Flowers and at least one for Scream.
and some other useless information about the Fae worlds.
well, useless to anyone who's not reading that series.
anywho,
the coyotes are out at my house which sucks because i've got two cats and they're both
really pissed off that we're not letting them out of the house.
bleh.

anyway,
i meant to clean and write some more today
but ended up playing Crisis Core and Dissidia.
and listening to Nancy Sinatra.
. . . anywho.
I'm also working on putting together a recipe book for a friend of mine who's getting married,
so if you've got any recipes that you love and would like to share, that'd be great.
but don't feel like you've got to give your family secrets away.

love you all.

------

i was five and he was six
we rode on horses made of sticks
he wore black and i wore white
he would always win the fight

bang, bang
he shot me down
bang, bang
i hit the ground
bang, bang
that awful sound
bang, bang
my baby shot me down

seasons came and changed the time
when i grew up i called him mine
he would always laugh and say
'remember when we used to play'

bang, bang
i shot you down
bang, bang
you hit the ground
bang, bang
that awful sound
bang, bang
i used to shoot you down

music played and people sang
just for me the churchbells rang

now he's gone, i don't know why
and till this day, sometimes i cry
he didn't even say goodbye
he didn't take the time to lie

bang, bang
he shot me down
bang, bang
i hit the ground
bang, bang
that awful sound
bang, bang
my baby shot me down.

words to build dreams on

(amen.)
..| I | A d o r e | You | H a r d c o r e. |..

Patrick

Katrina

Krystal

Shane

Brett

Shannon

~wellwornwings

..| C u r r e n t | Q u o t e |..

dum spiro spero.
(while i breathe, i hope.) ]]> =Toume gimme some salt. http://Toume.deviantart.com/journal/26844760/ http://Toume.deviantart.com/journal/26844760/ Wed, 26 Aug 2009 19:57:25 PDT

twitter. | myspace. | livejournal.

so.
been writing a lot.
working on an obscene amount of stuff.
poem books, a gift for a friend getting married (yay

), stories, working on crap to publish, and trying to have a life somewhere in between all that and work. bleh. doesn't seem like much i suppose, but it turns out to be.

anyway,
i love you all.
and erica, i'm so happy for you.

told you so.

oh! the movie something new
equals

just so you know.

-----

sally hit the pavement
wineglass in her hand
sally's rearrangement
i'll never understand
but little did i wonder
little did i try
her little bit of thunder
her little bit of lightning
lightning

sucka sucka MC
sing my favorite song
sing it for the dancing
sing it for somber one
curious velocity
brought me to a halt
flatten me my baby
gimme some salt
gimme some salt
gimme some salt
gimee some salt
gimme, gimme, gimme

she was always asking
'where's the nearest bar?'
pedal on the gas kid
getting played hard hard
i was in the kitchen
cooking up a shark
sally's out preparing
witty remarks
witty remarks
witty remarks
witty remarks
witty, witty, witty

words to build dreams on

(amen.)
..| I | A d o r e | You | H a r d c o r e. |..

Patrick

Katrina

Krystal

Shane

Brett

Shannon

~wellwornwings

..| C u r r e n t | Q u o t e |..

dum spiro spero.
(while i breathe, i hope.) ]]> =Toume explosions in the sky. http://Toume.deviantart.com/journal/26493493/ http://Toume.deviantart.com/journal/26493493/ Sun, 09 Aug 2009 21:41:32 PDT

twitter. | myspace. | livejournal.

are an amazing band.
i highly recommend you look them up and listen to them now.

go little ones.

(ps. i love you all.)

words to build dreams on

(amen.)
..| I | A d o r e | You | H a r d c o r e. |..

Patrick

Katrina

Krystal

Shane

Brett

Shannon

~wellwornwings

..| C u r r e n t | Q u o t e |..

dum spiro spero.
(while i breathe, i hope.) ]]> =Toume movie quiz! http://Toume.deviantart.com/journal/26290058/ http://Toume.deviantart.com/journal/26290058/ Fri, 31 Jul 2009 03:47:20 PDT

twitter. | myspace. | livejournal.

A. Pick 10 of your favorite movies.
B. Go to imdb and find a quote from each movie.
C. Post them here for everyone to guess.
D. NO cheating, if you don't know any of them then that's just too bad.

-----

1. "What do you think God's farts taste like?"
"Marshmallow peeps."

2. "If any of you sons of bitches calls me 'Grandpa' I'll kill you."

3. "You must know... surely, you must know it was all for you. You are too generous to trifle with me. I believe you spoke with my aunt last night, and it has taught me to hope as I'd scarcely allowed myself before. If your feelings are still what they were last April, tell me so at once. My affections and wishes have not changed, but one word from you will silence me forever. If, however, your feelings have changed, I will have to tell you: you have bewitched me, body and soul, and I love, I love, I love you. I never wish to be parted from you from this day on."

4. "I probably would have ended up with a football player if I hadn't met you. And I'm not gonna lie - you've kept it really interesting, but I'm done."
"What the fuck are you talking about?"

5. "Where'd you go, psycho boy?"
"I felt like destroying something beautiful."

6. "We went for breakfast . . . in Canada. We made a deal, if she'd stop hookin', I'd stop shooting people. *pause* Maybe we were aiming high."

7. "Fuckin', What the fuckin'. Fuck. Who the fuck fucked this fucking . . . How did you two fucking fucks . . . FUCK!"
"Well, that certainly illustrates the diversity of the word."

8. "The kid we have in interrogation requested a Ranger, someone he'd never met before. That's you."
"Well, Jesus Bill, he could have requested a sailboat, it doesn't mean you have to give it to him!"

9. "This guys methodical, exacting, and worst of all, patient."
"He's a nut-bag! Just because the fucker's got a library card it doesn't make him Yoda!"

10. "Along the way you bump into people who make a dent on your life. Some people get struck by lightning. Some are born to sit by a river. Some have an ear for music. Some are artists. Some swim the English Channel. Some know buttons. Some know Shakespeare. Some are mothers. And some people can dance."

----

no cheating now loves.

words to build dreams on

(amen.)
..| I | A d o r e | You | H a r d c o r e. |..

Patrick

Katrina

Krystal

Shane

Brett

Shannon

~ =Toume fever. http://Toume.deviantart.com/journal/26260621/ http://Toume.deviantart.com/journal/26260621/ Wed, 29 Jul 2009 17:44:21 PDT

twitter. | myspace. | livejournal.

speaking of fevers,
i think i'm getting one.
bleh.
not fun.

i might not be on much this weekend.
(not that i've been on much lately . . .)
i'm steadily working my way through Broken Flowers
and I have more Scream to put up. It's probably going
to stay named Scream.

all in all,
not a lot is going on in Shannanland right now
and for those who've been playing along at home,
we know this is a relatively good thing.

love you all lots.

----

never know how much i love you
never know how much i care
when you put your arms around me
i get a fever that's so hard to bear

you give me fever
when you kiss me
fever when you hold me tight
fever!
in the morning
fever all through the night

sun lights up the daytime
the moon lights up the night
i light up
when you call my name
and you know i'm gonna treat you right

you give me fever
when you kiss me
fever when you hold me tight
fever!
in the morning
fever all through the night

everybody's got the fever
that is something you all know
fever isn't such a new thing
fever started long ago

romeo love juliet
juliet, she felt the same
when he put his arms around her
he said
"julie baby, you're my flame"

thou givest fever
when we kisseth
fever with thy flaming youth
fever!
i'm afire
fever, yea i burn forsooth

captain smith and pocahontas
had a very mad affair
when her daddy tried to kill him
she said,
"Daddy-o don't you dare"

he gives me fever
with his kisses
fever when he holds me tight
fever!
i'm his missus
oh daddy won't you treat him right

now you've listened to my story
here's the point i have made
chicks were born to give you fever
be it fahrenheit or centigrade

they give you fever
when you kiss them
fever if you live and learn
fever!
till you sizzle
what a lovely way to burn
what a lovely way to burn
what a lovely way to burn
what a lovely way to burn.

----

what a lovely way
indeed.

words to build dreams on

(amen.)
..| I | A d o r e | You | H a r d c o r e. |..

Patrick

Katrina

Krystal

Shane

Brett

Shannon

~http://Toume.deviantart.com/journal/26243388/ Tue, 28 Jul 2009 21:45:19 PDT

twitter. | myspace. | livejournal.

searching for you in my sheets.
i come up empty handed and
broken hearted
again and again and again.

but at least i know where you're not.

----

tangerines are hanging heavy
glowing marigolden hues
teasing a half-pale moon
and i feel a pull to the
blue-velvet dark and stars

pink magnolia, blushing and coy
savors the sun while she shines
you've got yours and i've got mine
together we glide through the
blue-velvet dark and stars

all it takes is a little faith
and a lot of heart

back and forth we ply these oars
they move in time and get entwined
green with joy
then grey with sorrow
ripened fruit that falls tomorrow
filling us with brilliance

branches are bare with a pulse underneath
flowering slowly inside
your hands are warm and my body is wide
to hold all the promise of
blue-velvet dark and stars

all it takes is a little faith
and a lot of heart
sweetheart

words to build dreams on

(amen.)
..| I | A d o r e | You | H a r d c o r e. |..

Patrick

Katrina

Krystal

Shane

Brett

Shannon

~wellwornwings

..| C u r r e n t | Q u o t e |..

dum spiro spero.
(while i breathe, i hope.) ]]> =Toume not dead yet. http://Toume.deviantart.com/journal/25994503/ http://Toume.deviantart.com/journal/25994503/ Thu, 16 Jul 2009 21:02:03 PDT

twitter. | myspace. | livejournal.

well i'm not dead.
promise.

i've been working on some major projects.
mainly putting Broken Flowers into writing so i can put it away before i try to get it published. the story is finished - almost - and i'm just actually writing it into a book right now.

aaaaaand, in case i don't have enough on my plate, i've decided it's going to be a series. it's a world i've got so many ideas, for i'm just actually having to split them up into pieces of their own.

saw the new Harry Potter today, and I liked it. but i'm not really that hard to please.
i can't wait for the new Sherlock Holmes and the new Alice In Wonderland and lots of other movies that i'm giggly inside for.

hopefully by the end of this year i'll be out of arizona. that would be a wonderful thing.

anyway,
i love you all.
hope your summer is going well and you're all getting beautiful tans and having wonderful times that will become beautiful memories.

----
it's hard to say what you mean to me
everyone is scenery
so you take a late night drive alone
trying to get home

oh come on, come on, come on
give me a sign of live
cause there's another way that i'd rather be
if i could only get you alone
it's an inside joke that i never get
and i'm dying inside but i'm not dead yet

everyone is beautiful,
traffic like a funeral
and everybody tries to keep in touch
through the radio

oh come on, come on, come on
give me a sign of life
cause there's another way that i'd rather be
if i could only get you alone
it's an inside joke that i never get
and i'm dying inside but i'm not dead yet

i guess you'd say you still are mine
never mind the years of wasted time
i'll see you much later on
after everbody else is gone

wasted on a saturday
join the great majority
with all the ways i tried to keep in touch
that you will never know

oh come on, come on, come on
give me a sign of life
cause there's another way that i'd rather be
if i could only get you alone
it's an inside joke that i never get
and i'm dying inside but i'm not dead yet.

words to build dreams on

(amen.)
..| I | A d o r e | You | H a r d c o r e. |..

Patrick

Katrina

Krystal

Shane

Brett

Shannon

http://Toume.deviantart.com/journal/25464091/ Sun, 21 Jun 2009 23:37:01 PDT

twitter. | myspace. | livejournal.

Centaur:
[x] You are rather wild, and let your instincts run you.
[ ] You get drunk a lot.
[ ] Bravery and boldness is second nature to you.
[x] You have a deep love for astronomy and the universe.
[ ] You like to read your daily horoscope.
[ ] You have a high level of pride in yourself.
[ ] In the woods is the best place for you to be.
[x] You are spiritual.
[ ] The horse is your favorite animal.
[ ] You are possessive and territorial.
Total: 3

Elf:
[ ] Your ears are slightly pointed at the tips.
[x] You are very intelligent. (Most of the time. )
[ ] Your five senses are extremely keen.
[ ] Your weight is quite a bit lighter than the average person at your particular height.
[ ] You always wear elegant clothes and speak as politely as possible.
[x] You are most at peace when you are gazing at something beautiful, like nature.
[ ] You look young for your age.
[x] You rarely get sick.
[x] You are a very hard worker.
[ ] Above all other superpowers, you would love to read minds or see the future.
Total: 4

Faerie:
[x] You are happy a lot of the time.
[x] The best superpower to you would be to fly.
[ ] You are very shy.
[x] You love the forest and plant life in general.
[x] You are always willing to help others, even if you might not be the best to offer aid.
[ ] You are young and short.
[x] Dancing is one of your favorite pastimes.
[x] If someone ticks you off, you are very clever with getting them back.
[x] Your clothing isn't always presentable, but you are comfortable with what you wear.
[x] Circles are a wonderful symbol of unity to you.
Total: 8

Gnome/Dwarf:
[ ] You are excellent with crafts and handiwork.
[ ] In social situations, you tend to be a little awkward.
[ ] You are short for your age.
[ ] You are an isolationist.
[ ]You love to play practical jokes on people.
[ ] You are extremely fascinated with jewelery.
[x] You look older than your age.
[x] You love the woods and the mountains.
[ ] You are well off, or come from a family that is well off.
[ ] You have a short temper.
Total: 2

Harpy/Siren:
[ ] You are best at talking bad about people behind their backs and not to their face.
[x] When you are annoyed, you will go to a great extent to torment whoever did so to you.
[ ] You often take things that aren't yours.(Not necessarily anyone else's though)
[ ] You are easily angered.
[ ] Death fascinates you.
[x] You are female, or a feminine-looking man.
[ ] You associate yourself with the wind element.
[ ] You can switch quickly between your light and dark side.
[ ] You love to trick others.
[ ] You have a ravenous appetite.
Total: 2

Mermaid:
[x] You love the beach moreso because of the water than the shore itself.
[ ] Fish are some of the most beautiful creatures to you.
[ ] The ultimate superpower to you would be to breathe underwater.
[ ] You enjoy looking at ships, but not riding them, as well as you like ships for traveling, not hunting in the sea.
[x] You are good at swimming.
[x] You like to collect shells.
[x] You use sea items as jewelry or decoration.
[x] You enjoy learning about the ocean and the life inside it.
[x] You are extremely against ocean pollution, and someday, perhaps (if you haven't already), you will work to stop that.
[ ] Legs on land are not as important as a fin in the sea.
Total: 6

Vampire:
[x] You're a night person.
[ ] You have a fascination with blood.
[ ] You are extremely pale.
[ ] You wish you had a bat as a pet.
[ ] You are not religious at all.
[x] Tight spaces are not scary or uncomfortable for you.
[x] The sun's glare annoys you all too often.
[ ] You hate food with lots of garlic in it.
[x] To you, a kiss on the neck is more romantic than a kiss on the cheek or lips.
[x] You don't like sharp objects near you.
Total: 5

Werewolf:
[ ] The full moon is the most beautiful scene to you.
[ ] You have a lot of body hair.
[ ] The ability to shapeshift is the best superpower to you.
[ ] You prefer gold over silver items.
[ ] You lack self control.
[x] You find it easier to have sympathy for animals than for humans.
[x] You have a deep respect for wolves and wild dogs.
[... ]]> =Toume the captain and the hourglass. http://Toume.deviantart.com/journal/25404537/ http://Toume.deviantart.com/journal/25404537/ Thu, 18 Jun 2009 21:48:18 PDT

twitter. | myspace. | livejournal.

i know.
i'm sorry.
i disappeared.
i didn't plan on it
i just sorta had a lot of things happen.
anyway.
i love you all.
i have some new stuff up.
i'll have more stuff when i have times.

and i loveth you all!

-----

you kick the blow
now you've gotta kick the car
you sat alone under a billowing sky
if I feel God judging me
i fell into the water and now i'm free

my friends, they don't really get me
they think i'm the only one
well i sold my soul to Jesus
and since then i've had no fun
behind every tree is a cutting machine
and a kite fallen from grace
behind every man is a heart of sand
you can see it in his face
he'll tick tick tick tick tick tick tick away
another second lost with every fallen grain
he'll tick tick tick tick tick tick tick away
another second lost with every fallen grain

the wind and i, we speak the same,
but he don't hear so well
you're gonna have to curse him
oh, you're gonna have to yell
the sky and i, we've had our fights
and i'm coming around to rain
if the rain come down
and it don't come out
we'll i'll never have to speak again
i can tick tick tick tick tick tick tick away
another second lost with every falling grain
can tick tick tick tick tick tick tick away
another second lost with every falling grain

well the captain's got his boots on
and he's heading out the door
leaving his lady alone
thinking he don't love me no more
he's done with all this bullshit
he's going back to war
if Heaven is as Heaven does
then this is hell for sure
and he'll tick tick tick tick tick tick tick away
another second lost with every fallen grain
he'll tick tick tick tick tick tick tick away
another second lost with every fallen grain

you kick the blow
now you've gotta kick the car
you sat alone under billowing sky
now I feel God judging me
i fell into the water
and now i'm free

words to build dreams on

(amen.)
..| I | A d o r e | You | H a r d c o r e. |..

Patrick

Katrina

Krystal

Shane

Brett

Shannon

~wellwornwings

..| C u r r e n t | Q u o t e |..

dum spiro spero.
(while i breathe, i hope.) ]]> =Toume well balanced boredom. http://Toume.deviantart.com/journal/24713676/ http://Toume.deviantart.com/journal/24713676/ Tue, 12 May 2009 00:50:33 PDT

twitter. | myspace. | livejournal.

Boy
[x] you love hoodies.
[x] you love jeans.
[ ] dogs are better than cats.
[x] it's hilarious when people get hurt.
[x] you've played with/against boys on a team.
[ ] shopping is torture.
[x] sad movies suck.
[ ] you own an x-box.
[ ] played with hotwheels cars as a kid.
[ ] at some point in time you wanted to be a firefighter.
[x] you own a DS, PS2 or sega.
[ ] you used to be obsessed with power rangers.
[ ] you watch sports on TV.
[x] gory movies are cool.
[ ] you go to your dad for advice.
[ ] you own like a trillion baseball caps.
[ ] you like going to football games.
[ ] you used to/do collect baseball cards.
[ ] baggy pants are cool to wear.
[x] it's kinda weird to have sleepovers with a bunch of people.
[x] green, black, red, blue, or silver are one of your favorite colors.
[x] you love to go crazy and not care what people think.
[x] sports are fun.
[x] talk with food in your mouth.
[x] wear boxers.

Total = 13

Girl
[x] you wear lip gloss.
[ ] you love to shop.
[x] you wear eyeliner.
[ ] you have some of the same shirts in different colors.
[x] you wear the color pink.
[x] go to your mom for advice.
[ ] you consider cheerleading a sport
[ ] you hate wearing the color black.
[ ] you like hanging out at the mall.
[ ] you like getting manicures and/or pedicures.
[x] you like wearing jewelry.
[ ] skirts are a big part of your wardrobe.
[ ] shopping is one of your favorite hobbies.
[ ] you don't like the movie star wars.
[ ] you are/were in cheerleading, gymnastics or dance.
[ ] it takes you around 1 hour to shower, get dressed, and put on make-up and accessories.
[x] you smile a lot more than you should.
[x] you have more than 10 pairs of shoes.
[x] you care about what you look like.
[x] you like wearing dresses when you can.
[x] you like wearing body spray/perfume/cologne.
[x] you wear girl underwear.
[x] used to play with dolls as little kid. as nearly everybody
[ ] like putting make-up on someone else for the joy of it.
[x] like taking pictures of yourself with your cell phone/camera when you're bored.

Total = 13

does this make me androgynous? or simply well balanced?
(i'm going for well-balanced, since i'm a d cup . . .)

words to build dreams on

(amen.)
..| I | A d o r e | You | H a r d c o r e. |..

Patrick

Katrina

Krystal

Shane

Brett

Shannon

http://Toume.deviantart.com/journal/24713165/ Mon, 11 May 2009 23:36:06 PDT

twitter. | myspace. | livejournal.

sometimes it's in the way you sling your hair over your left shoulders. sometimes it's in the way you laugh at the simplest things. sometimes it's in the way you sneeze at bright lights. sometimes it's in the way you always surprise me. sometimes it's in the way you resemble something beautiful. sometimes it's in the way you're more a part of me than i'll ever know. sometimes it's in the way you sigh.

answers aren't always what we're looking for when we ask questions. answers aren't always what we need. answers are always what we want.

sometimes it's in the way you wish on moonshine. sometimes it's in the way you drink to forget. sometimes it's in the way memories are all you've got left. sometimes it's in the way you've got ten perfect toes and ten perfect fingers and more perfect skin than a room full of air-brushed supermodels. sometimes it's in the way i'll never be good enough. sometimes it's in the way you're the most broken person i know.

beauty doesn't answer the questions. beauty doesn't make you complete. beauty is overrated.

sometimes it's in the way you always fall short of the goals you set for your dreams. sometimes it's in the way you always forget me. sometimes it's in the way you're as lost as everyone else. sometimes it's in the way you're just better at hiding it. sometimes it's in the way i've always wanted to be you. sometimes it's in the way you sing the silliest of songs. sometimes it's in the way you love the same bands.

hope can destroy the strongest of dreams and biggest of men. hope can make you forget what's important. hope was the worst of Pandora's horde.

sometimes it's in the way you scream the lyrics of the songs you want to have sex to. sometimes it's in the way you lead me to believe i'm the best part of you. sometimes it's in the way you look at me like i'm crazy. sometimes it's in the way that you're crazier than me. sometimes it's in the way you brush your hair over and over and over because you must. sometimes it's in the way you save me.

ghosts haunt the people who haunt themselves. ghosts manifest where you least expect. ghosts are made of us.

sometimes it's in the way you'll always be alone.
sometimes it's in the way you won't.

-----

there's a hope in my head
that's been cut and bled
dry as your bloodshot eyes
and there's smoke in the air
and it's soon to clear
revealing our demise
there are some who say
that it's a-okay
if it makes you feel alright
it's just way too bad
now you're worse than sad
all locked up there inside

and i don't know how you feel
but i'll make you a deal
if you'll make it out alive
my shoulders and ears
are all yours my dear
i hope it comes as no surprise
you've been known to say
that you're a-okay
when you're feeling sick inside
i just want you to know
i got no place to go
until the day you die

while you're waiting
be thankful for your fingers
i'll be fading
with the colors of your pictures
"i'm not crying wolf," you whisper,
"i'm really dead this time,
i'm really dead this time."

there's a hope in my head
that's been cut and bled
dry as your bloodshot eyes
and there's smoke in the air
and it's soon to clear
revealing our demise
you've been known to say
that you're a-okay
when you're feeling dead inside
i just want you to know
i got no place to go
until the day you die

while you're waiting
be thankful for your fingers
i'll be fading
with the colors of your pictures
"i'm not crying wolf," you whisper,
"i'm really dead this time,
i'm really dead this time."

they locked you up
they threw away the key
sutured your mouth shut
murdered your family
right before your eyes
what could you do?
right before your eyes
they took it all from you

your contemplating
you hanging from your ceiling
can't help hating
you for having that feeling
i'm not joking when i tell you
i'd miss you all the time
i already miss you all the time.

words to build dreams on

=Toume we can never break up. http://Toume.deviantart.com/journal/24695763/ http://Toume.deviantart.com/journal/24695763/ Sun, 10 May 2009 23:20:05 PDT

twitter. | myspace. | livejournal.

you said the sky would end. you said band-aids and duct tape fixed everything. you said you'd always wanted to fall. you said rain was the best smell. you said mountains made you feel insignificant. you said i was yours.

you said music heals us. you said dreams were for the lovers. you said wishes came true. you said smiles were worth crying for. you said the best part of horror movies was everything. you said a lot of things.

you said i only hear what i want to. you said you never believed in God (even so, i remember how when we met you raised your head and you said 'I knew God would lead you to me'.). you said the end was simply another beginning.

you said shattered glass was the only way to die. you said sunsets were more tragic than beautiful and i was tragic beauty enough. you said nightmares were the product of wishes on falling stars. you said i'd learn to cry.

you said if i didn't look closely i'd lose you. you said you loved my smiles. you said you missed what you never owned. you said i was the sum of all my parts. you said that made me beautiful. you said i made you dream.

you said "do you want to know what my love is? how my song goes? please, don't say no." and I said "how could i leave you, i love you, don't let go." you said i made you smile.

you said we'd last forever. you said the sky would end. you said a lot of things.

you lied.

words to build dreams on

(amen.)
..| I | A d o r e | You | H a r d c o r e. |..

Patrick

Katrina

Krystal

Shane

Brett

Shannon

~wellwornwings

..| C u r r e n t | Q u o t e |..

dum spiro spero.
(while i breathe, i hope.) ]]> =Toume all been said before. http://Toume.deviantart.com/journal/24490519/ http://Toume.deviantart.com/journal/24490519/ Wed, 29 Apr 2009 01:18:47 PDT "You feel like the wind. I need you like air."

everything i have to say
has been said by someone before me.

but doesn't it matter
that i have it to say?
even if it's repetative?
even if it's silly?
even if it's useless information we'll process then throw away?

i think i might be going away.
i don't know if i'll come back.

what do you think?

-----

i am held together
by clothespins and tension
a wealth of odds and ends
i'm dazzling
so dazzling
like the neon street sign
hiccuping off and on again
all night long

well i've got magazine friends
and enough jealousy
to lose them all
and i know this has all
been said before

i shed what
what escape my fiction provided
i lived a lifetime inside of my shelter
and thought it about time
to see outside
and i believed it was easy
stupidly thought
i could just get up and walk away
but i know this
has all been said before

i know this
has all been said before

i've got illness hugging me like a skin
and i'll shed it clean
until i can taste
the oxygen.

words to build dreams on

(amen.)
..| I | A d o r e | You | H a r d c o r e. |..

Patrick

Katrina

Krystal

Shane

Brett

Shannon

~wellwornwings

..| C u r r e n t | Q u o t e |..

Sometimes, the greatest journey, is the
D I S T A N C E
between two people.

Ich Liebe Dich

]]> =Toume hating every minute. http://Toume.deviantart.com/journal/24489530/ http://Toume.deviantart.com/journal/24489530/ Tue, 28 Apr 2009 22:47:05 PDT "You feel like the wind. I need you like air."

what the fuck ever.
i don't care.

-----

sit down and please make yourself comfortable
i might need some time to
dance around what i need to say
i love you to death
i think i need a break

i spend my days worried out loud
i get in my head
i choke it back down
it hurts me inside to see you inside
so close my ears tight
lies to decide

this is the way we disappear
it's easy if you burn out like a star
this is the way we disappear
it's easy like a fifty foot fall

i'm waiting
for a little bit of time
to evict these words
that are burning up my mind
i'm waiting
for every minute that i don't speak loud
i can be laying down
are you laying down?
are you laying down?

relax on this bed of nails
on this plastic sheet
your blood leaves a trail
right back to me
would you please allow me a moment to think?

this is the way we disappear
it's easy if you burn out like a star
this is the way we disappear
it's easy like a fifty foot fall

i'm waiting
for a little bit of time
to evict these words
that are burning up my mind
i'm waiting
for every minute that i don't speak loud
i can be laying down
are you laying down?
are you laying down?

words to build dreams on

(amen.)
..| I | A d o r e | You | H a r d c o r e. |..

Patrick

Katrina

Krystal

Shane

Brett

Shannon

~wellwornwings

..| C u r r e n t | Q u o t e |..

Sometimes, the greatest journey, is the
D I S T A N C E
between two people.

Ich Liebe Dich

]]> =Toume into the night. http://Toume.deviantart.com/journal/24474816/ http://Toume.deviantart.com/journal/24474816/ Tue, 28 Apr 2009 04:51:47 PDT "You feel like the wind. I need you like air."

i always wake up exhausted.

-----

we'll never know which way this road is gonna turn
and can't be sure how quick your wick is gonna burn
so sing to me your darkest secrets
time to leave behind your regrets
before we get lost in a blink of an eye

this carrion has been forgotten
left for dead in the sun rotting
the answers lie here in this tragedy
it ends when you and me
we're dragged from the light
into the night

we have been warned which way this storm is gonna blow
but where the rip tide takes us to we'll never know
now you're screaming out for Jesus
send for anyone, please save us
before we get lost in the blink of an eye

this carrion has been forgotten
left for dead in the sun rotting
the answers lie here in this tragedy
it ends with you and me
we're dragged from the light
into the night

so sing to me your darkest secrets
time to leave behind your regrets
before we get lost in the blink of an eye

this carrion has been forgotten
left for dead in the sun rotting
the answers lie here in the mystery
it stars with you and me
when we're dragged from the light
into the night

into the night
into the night
into the night.

words to build dreams on

(amen.)
..| I | A d o r e | You | H a r d c o r e. |..

Patrick

Katrina

Krystal

Shane

Brett

Shannon

~wellwornwings

..| C u r r e n t | Q u o t e |..

Sometimes, the greatest journey, is the
D I S T A N C E
between two people.

Ich Liebe Dich

]]> =Toume fine without you. http://Toume.deviantart.com/journal/24440785/ http://Toume.deviantart.com/journal/24440785/ Sun, 26 Apr 2009 07:24:47 PDT "You feel like the wind. I need you like air."

i'm the kind of girl
you find yourself dreaming about
and then when you wake up,
cold and alone at three in the morning,
you find yourself swimming through the blankets
to find.

i'm the kind of girl you always miss
at the worst times.

i'm the kind of girl
you never really learn
how to let go of.

i'm the kind of girl
you never really needed.

i'm the kind of girl
you've always wanted.

i'm the kind of girl that will make you cry.

----

well i'll sit here
and convince myself it's true
if you keep on telling
your friends that we're through.
i've got nothing here but loneliness
holes in walls and bleeding fists
my head is pounding like a pillow
like a big black song.

well my friends and i
try to tell me you're gone.
i won't listen to myself
or anyone.
you got on a plane and off you went
you're never coming back again

i'm trying to convince myself it's true
convincing myself
i'll be just fine without you
i'll be just fine without you
i'll be just fine without you
i'll be here telling myself it's true

i sit here trying to
convince myself it's true
but you keep on pretending
you have no clue
i'd kill for you
and eat the flesh
give you the heart and burn the rest
a thousand miles ain't shit to walk
if i'm walking to hold you but

i'll be just fine without you
i'll be just fine without you
i'll be just fine without you
i'll be here telling myself
i'll be just fine without you
i'll be just fine without you
i'll be just fine without you
i'll be just fine without you
i'll be just fine without you
i'll be just fine without you

i'll be here telling myself it's true.

words to build dreams on

(amen.)
..| I | A d o r e | You | H a r d c o r e. |..

Patrick

Katrina

Krystal

Shane

Brett

Shannon

~wellwornwings

..| C u r r e n t | Q u o t e |..

Sometimes, the greatest journey, is the
D I S T A N C E
between two people.

Ich Liebe Dich

]]> =Toume god and drugs. dos. http://Toume.deviantart.com/journal/24385008/ http://Toume.deviantart.com/journal/24385008/ Wed, 22 Apr 2009 20:28:28 PDT "You feel like the wind. I need you like air."

i smell the way
your hair feels after a shower
the way your
hips feel in my palms.
i can smell your kisses on my
neck
and my name
on your lips

and the worst part of it all
is how you
weren't ever
there.

-------

i scrape the glass for crumbs
and ask the mirror for some truth
i loaded my body with chemicals
it was no use
cause retribution's coming for
the years of this abuse
and i can't get away
and still i can't get
close enough to you

you won't go away
but every hit is just a taste
something scares me in this place
i self destruct for days

it's a constant reminder
of what i can and cannot have
the smell, the taste, it's all just fake
the truth is what i lack
so i will keep on running
and keep my head above the ground
and i will look for you
in places you cannot be found

you won't go away
but every hit is just a taste
something scares me in this place
i self destruct for days
you won't go away
but every hit is just a taste
of all the things i need to face
but it's all so fake

"it's okay" a voice says
"we all look elsewhere"
it's true
that i look elsewhere
for you

you won't go away.
you won't go away.
you won't go away.
you won't go away.
you won't go away.
you won't go away.
you won't go away.
you won't go away.

you won't go away.
but every hit is just a taste
something scares me in this place
i self destruct for days
you won't go away
but every hit is just a taste
of all the things i need to face
but it's all so fake

you won't go away
but every hit is just a taste
you won't go away
still i've been gone for days

words to build dreams on

(amen.)
..| I | A d o r e | You | H a r d c o r e. |..

Patrick

Katrina

Krystal

Shane

Brett

Shannon

~wellwornwings

..| C u r r e n t | Q u o t e |..

Sometimes, the greatest journey, is the
D I S T A N C E
between two people.

Ich Liebe Dich

]]> =Toume god and drugs. http://Toume.deviantart.com/journal/24370561/ http://Toume.deviantart.com/journal/24370561/ Wed, 22 Apr 2009 01:17:30 PDT "You feel like the wind. I need you like air."

sick with regret
we splutter out

wash the shame from your sheets
wipe my lipstick from your cheek
pretend it never happened
i'm not the girl you seek

locked doors and empty closets
won't change how little it meant
in the end

sore hips
lonely lips
begging for your fingertips
to glide over my heart
your love is the key
unlock all
that's inside of me

someday
i'll learn to love
these scars
(they were the only
thing
you ever left me)

but be careful
with what you do
and how you handle me
give me
something i can believe
what's left of me
is just as fragile
as you.

just a little rough around the edges
dropped a few too many times
i need steady hands and gentle kisses

breathing smoke
drains us faster than before
shadows and hopes are all
that's left from
the love we had before
(now
we swim in memories
wishing to
forget)

someday
we'll see the world again
like that

images in the smoke remind us of you
memories explode
chests implode
just keep breathing
wait for it to pass

you aren't who i used to yearn
you used to be so
beautiful.
you still are,
but,
it's not the same.

we know all about your
open-door policies
and the lock you drew
on your bedroom door
to keep the memories out
and the cravings at bay

somedays it hurts less than before
but then i go to sleep
and my lullaby returns
you've turned into
nightmare music

even the sweetest songs
push me to tears
and i'm still wondering why
i keep coming back
silence won't make this
disappear

the hardest part
is knowing
that after loving you
i can never be the same
(sorry,
my time-turners' busted
and i still can't let you go)

wake up screaming
am i running to you
or away?

it's my way of keeping you
and since you won't give me an
alternative
i'm afraid it's the only way to proceed
(i'm just a girl
nearly afraid of my own shadow
and not ready to learn about
alone.)

even harder
i don't want to go back to me
before you
i just want to take you with me.
(sorry i'm so selfish
i just don't know any other way.)

in your absence
i've collected the
sound of sunshine
in my smallest efforts
to stay warm

it really isn't the same
the warmth doesn't reach out
like the glow of your eyes
or the way i melt into your arms
when you smile at me

take me as you find me
all my flaws and failures
perfection is a game
i never really learned how to play

i just want to show you what i see
when i see you
but you don't want to see it

we're all blind
in our own ways
and i'm tired of hiding
who you are to me

it's too bad
all my hiding and pain
lost. completely in vain.
you know and just don't care

take my hand
please let me show you
how i see the world.

caring requires heart-sounds
you just don't remember
and i'm far too tired to teach

i'd give you my world
if only you'd take it

the only trouble with
gift-giving
is the ones you keep
giving back
are ones that weren't meant
to be
returned

now i've a handful of nonrefundable returns
i'm broke and broken-hearted
standing in the lonely-hearts return line

while i breathe
i hope
but i forgot the way
i stopped breathing
so i wouldn't have to need you
anymore
(i guess some things
never really change.)

i want to run away with you
and show you my world
but there i go,
selfish again.

listen to me now.
if you loved me
you wouldn't need to fix me.
if you really loved me
you'd love me broken too.

i love you broken
i wasn't kidding when i said
i'd take you as you were
you're the first person
i haven't tried to fix

you don't need to carry me
anymore
i can do this on my own
but if you're coming too
get up and grab your smile
even if we have to fight
today's gonna go our way. =Toume bye bye beautiful. http://Toume.deviantart.com/journal/24368254/ http://Toume.deviantart.com/journal/24368254/ Tue, 21 Apr 2009 20:50:22 PDT "You feel like the wind. I need you like air."

oh my god.
i'm so lame.

so yeah.
i've been taking lots of pictures lately,
because i feel lame
for not writing.

i mean i have been.
just not very much
and nothing worth posting up on da yet.
i'll post up new Broken Flowers, The Wind Won't Know Me and poetry soon
i swear.

for now,
pictures of my homeland!

i love arizona.
i've been told over and over that 'it's all desert and dead and brown and how can that be pretty?'

well,
i'm all freckly and brunette and curvy and clumsy and how can that be pretty either?

it is going to rain.

----

finally the hills are without eyes
they are tired of painting a dead man's face
red with their own blood

they used to love having so much to lose
blink your eyes just once and see everything in ruins

did you ever hear what i told you?
did you ever read what i wrote you?
did you ever listen to what we played?
did you ever let in what the world said?
did we get this far just to feel your hate?
did we play to become only pawns in the game?
how blind can you be, don't you see?
you chose the long road, but we'll be waiting.

bye, bye, beautiful.

jacob's ghost for the girl in white
blindfold for the blind
dead siblings walking the dying earth

noose around a choking heart
eternity torn apart
slow toll now the funeral bells

"I need to die to feel alive"

did you ever hear what i told you?
did you ever read what i wrote you?
did you ever listen to what we played?
did you ever let in what the world said?
did we get this far just to feel your hate?
did we play to become only pawns in the game?
how blind can you be, don't you see?
you chose the long road, but we'll be waiting.

bye, bye, beautiful.

it's not the tree that forsakes the flower
but the flower that forsakes the tree
someday i'll learn to love these scars
still fresh from the red-hot blade of your words

how blind can you be, don't you see?
that the gambler lost all he does not have . . .

did you ever hear what i told you?
did you ever read what i wrote you?
did you ever listen to what we played?
did you ever let in what the world said?
did we get this far just to feel your hate?
did we play to become only pawns in the game?
how blind can you be, don't you see?
you chose the long road, but we'll be waiting.

bye, bye, beautiful.

words to build dreams on

(amen.)
..| I | A d o r e | You | H a r d c o r e. |..

Patrick

Katrina

Krystal

Shane

Brett

Shannon

~... ]]> =Toume someday never comes. http://Toume.deviantart.com/journal/24243084/ http://Toume.deviantart.com/journal/24243084/ Tue, 14 Apr 2009 17:05:59 PDT "You feel like the wind. I need you like air."

last night
i forgot to fall asleep crying.
you haunted my dreams
and it was silly the way
i clung to you.

you pulled me open and saw
right through me and knew
just how little i could
afford to breathe.

"you can't be happy without me"
you warned, and the part that scared me the
most wasn't my inability to breathe,
it was that i knew you were right.
(how silly of me to think
i could ever keep you)

i fumbled for words and
you smiled the way
you do and i couldn't remember why
i'd tried so hard
to breathe in the first place
(breathing is overrated.)

i miss your fingertips,
your absentminded love,
and the way you were never mine,
not really,
not even a little bit,
not even at all.

-----

dear love,
i miss you so much.
i miss your smile
and i miss your touch
but i found a place
where i can erase my past
maybe someday when you're old and grey
and your hair falls out
and your tattoos fade
you might see me standing
hat in hand

i have to go away
i've got no reasons to stay here
you said someday you'll change
but even a fool will tell you
someday
never comes

you built your rooms
you built your walls
you kept me outside of it all
i got tired of you
what's a girl to do
maybe someday if we stay this way
and you see my face
in a different place
you'll remember when
you're going to thank me then

i have to go away
i've got no reason to stay here
you said someday you'll change
but even a fool
can tell you
someday
never comes.

------

even so.

there's this nagging around my
ribcage
and this fluttering
somewhere
between my lungs
telling me
that
you mean more
than i'm letting on.

i'm sorry.

words to build dreams on

(amen.)
..| I | A d o r e | You | H a r d c o r e. |..

Patrick

Katrina

Krystal

Shane

Brett

Shannon

~wellwornwings

..| C u r r e n t | Q u o t e |..

Sometimes, the greatest journey, is the
D I S T A N C E
between two people.

Ich Liebe Dich

]]> =Toume the only fault. http://Toume.deviantart.com/journal/24136620/ http://Toume.deviantart.com/journal/24136620/ Wed, 08 Apr 2009 19:57:28 PDT "You feel like the wind. I need you like air."

if i could have one wish
if i could have some say
i'd keep you far from home
i'd roll back both my sleeves
i'd dig under your skin
i'd fix your shattered bones

hold on
this may hurt you
when i tell you of the truth
we don't get two lives to live
it's true
the only fault i've found in you
is not being free to take what i would give

if i could bend your pain
into something good
make you a prouder man
if i could rough you up
then save you with good luck
and show you hope again

hold on
you weren't meant to suffer very long
leaving love that's gone
has never been a sin
hang tight
the only fault you have tonight
is shutting down so cold 'til i break in

oh
sad young man
i think i need you for reasons
i don't know
i pledge myself to winter season
so it's perfectly on course
but in the end it has to snow

if i can make you stay
convince you you'd be lost
if we were torn apart
if it remained unclear
between the two of us
which one would be the one to break
the other's heart

hold on
this will floor me differently
than any drug that's washed me into sleep
it's true
the only fault i'll take from you
is how to run
from what you wish to
keep.

-------

it's true.
i'm not who i was.
who you thought i could be.
i'm sorry.
it's true.
i'm not what you think.
i'm not who i say.
i'm sorry.
it's true.
inside i'm rotting.
inside i'm dying.
inside i'm screaming.
inside i'm crying.
inside i'm beautiful.
inside i'm fading.
inside i'm everything.
inside i'm nothing.
i'm sorry.
it's true.

inside i'm alone.

words to build dreams on

(amen.)
..| I | A d o r e | You | H a r d c o r e. |..

Patrick

Katrina

Krystal

Shane

Brett

Shannon

~wellwornwings

..| C u r r e n t | Q u o t e |..

Sometimes, the greatest journey, is the
D I S T A N C E
between two people.

Ich Liebe Dich

]]> =Toume oh. my. god. http://Toume.deviantart.com/journal/24135026/ http://Toume.deviantart.com/journal/24135026/ Wed, 08 Apr 2009 18:26:21 PDT "You feel like the wind. I need you like air."

they were right.
twitter is an addiction.
ho' shi'.

i'm screwed.

words to build dreams on

(amen.)
..| I | A d o r e | You | H a r d c o r e. |..

Patrick

Katrina

Krystal

Shane

Brett

Shannon

~wellwornwings

..| C u r r e n t | Q u o t e |..

Sometimes, the greatest journey, is the
D I S T A N C E
between two people.

Ich Liebe Dich

]]> =Toume invisible sun. http://Toume.deviantart.com/journal/24120525/ http://Toume.deviantart.com/journal/24120525/ Tue, 07 Apr 2009 21:27:43 PDT "You feel like the wind. I need you like air."

laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaame.

okay, i know. i'm lame.
i haven't updated a lot
and i've been ghost-ish.

i sorry. i sorry. i sorry.
i love you. i love you. i love you.

(is that better?)

anyway,
there's a lot that's been going on in my life.

my friend tim in canada contacted me again. which is really awesome, because he was a really great friend.

anywho, i'll be around. message me on here or hit me up on my email if you wanna chat about something. i'm working on my poem book/poems/stories/everythingelseinthewholewideworldbecauseican'tstoptakingupprojects . . . *deep breath*

anyway, i heart you all.

-----

will the truth come out on top
is the second shoe ever gonna drop
is the rain ever gonna stop
making the most of a lie called a daydream

the simple truth is best i guess
another man down and another blessed
one step forward and two regressed
making the most of a lie called a daydream

make a run in a midnight rain
maybe take a shot, maybe numb the pain
maybe i forgot who stands to gain
making the most of a lie called a daydream

shine like an invisible sun
nobody knows when the damage was done
shine like an invisible sun
making the most of a lie called a daydream

can't recall half of what's been said
running through my mind like a ball of lead
half-truths from the ones half dead
making the most of a lie called a daydream

make a run through the Holy-land
heaven shines down on the devil's plan
i held them both in my right hand
making the most of a lie called a daydream

shine like an invisible sun
nobody knows when the damage was done
shine like an invisible sun
making the most of a lie called a daydream

it's just a different point of view
somehow we can make it true
deep inside a clouded mind
i see it shine

words to build dreams on

(amen.)
..| I | A d o r e | You | H a r d c o r e. |..

Patrick

Katrina

Krystal

Shane

Brett

Shannon

~wellwornwings

..| C u r r e n t | Q u o t e |..

Sometimes, the greatest journey, is the
D I S T A N C E
between two people.

Ich Liebe Dich

]]> =Toume update. http://Toume.deviantart.com/journal/23973768/ http://Toume.deviantart.com/journal/23973768/ Mon, 30 Mar 2009 18:03:38 PDT "You feel like the wind. I need you like air."

so,
it's been a while,
since i did real updates.
so yeah.
i posted up some new stories
so you should go read them.
and i'm gonna reveal more about myself.
because we all know, i say far too much about myself.

----

I'm terrified of grasshoppers and falling.

I talk entirely too much.

I love everyone. Really.

Music is the air that I breathe.

I feel infinite.

God has something big for me.

I have an addiction to color and earrings.

I find hands fascinating.

I love affection.

I give everything for the people I love.

I believe it is better to be honest, than to be liked.

I love pears.

I want a husky for a pet.

I have seven pairs of flip flops that I wear regularly. I own twelve pairs.

I'm shy, but I'll tell you anything about me that you want to know.

I sing all the time. No matter where I am.

I fear that I'm not as close to God as I could be.

My mother is my best friend.

I love the smell of rain, sunshine and the smell that can only be described as 'boyfriend'.

I text more than I talk on the phone.

I miss my grandparents something fierce.

Driving is one of my favorite pastimes.

I think I have pretty handwriting.

"Scrumdiddlyumptious" is one of my favorite words. Ever.

I love being touched. Not bad touch. Just, the touch of someone whom I love.

I love my hair. It's the only thing I ever obsess about.

http://Toume.deviantart.com/journal/23920528/ Fri, 27 Mar 2009 16:48:09 PDT "You feel like the wind. I need you like air."

okay so i'm going to update soon.
i swear.

anyway,
i had a brainstorm yesterday.

and it's not something that i'm gonna take lightly,
or be easily able to do.

so i've been working on my own personal poem book
it's like a collage of stuff
not just my poems, but my doodles,
clippings out of magazines,
stuff like that.

and as i was staring at it last night,
i was thinking -
what if i made these. like for people.
would anyone want them?

so i texted a few people and nearly got mauled by text messages,
if such a thing is possible,
and my friend krystal said that i should get someone to make me covers
and then like, sell them.

what do you think?

i mean, it'll take awhile before i'm anywhere near done with mine
to show it to other people
but if i did start this,
it would mean a small hiatus from dA.
just long enough to work on them.

now, if that's someone that everyone thinks
i should do
please, please let me know.

i'm going to continue working on mine
and i'll post up some pictures and stuff
so everyone can see a general idea of what it is going to be
but yeah, let me know.

i heart you all.

words to build dreams on

(amen.)
..| I | A d o r e | You | H a r d c o r e. |..

Patrick

Katrina

Krystal

Shane

Brett

Shannon

~wellwornwings

..| C u r r e n t | Q u o t e |..

Sometimes, the greatest journey, is the
D I S T A N C E
between two people.

Ich Liebe Dich

]]> =Toume may i have your attention please? http://Toume.deviantart.com/journal/23516982/ http://Toume.deviantart.com/journal/23516982/ Tue, 03 Mar 2009 23:30:18 PST "You feel like the wind. I need you like air."

okay.
just a quick few things.

first,
i have a new name for Scream.
it will be entitled,
The Wind Won't Know Me

second,
[link]
if you love me,
and Broken Flowers
you'll click there.

and third,
i love you all to bits.

-----

i did my best to notice
when the call came down the line
up to the platform of surrender
i was brought, but i was kind

and sometimes i get nervous
when i see an open door
close your eyes, clear your heart
cut the cord

are we human, or are we dancers?
my sign is vital, my hands are cold
and i'm on my knees, looking for the answer
are we human, or are we dancers?

pay my respects to grace and virtue
send my condolences to greed
give my regards to soul and romance
they always did the best they could

and so long to devotion
you taught me everything i know
wave goodbye, wish me well
you've gotta let me go

are we human or are we dancers?
my sign is vital, my hands are cold
and i'm on my knees looking for the answer
are we human, or are we dancers?

will your system be alright
when you dream of home tonight?
there is no message we're receiving
let me know, is your heart still beating?

are we human, or are we dancers
my sign is vital, my hands are cold
and i'm on my knees looking for an answer

you've gotta let me know
are we human, or are we dancers?
my sign is vital, my hands are cold
and i'm on my knees looking for the answer
are we human, or are we dancers?

are we human, or are we dancers?
are we human, or are we dancers?

-----

personally,
i think we're all ~~liars~~ lovers
on the inside.

words to build dreams on

(amen.)
..| I | A d o r e | You | H a r d c o r e. |..

Patrick

Katrina

Krystal

Shane

Brett

Shannon

~wellwornwings

..| C u r r e n t | Q u o t e |..

Sometimes, the greatest journey, is the
D I S T A N C E
between two people.

Ich Liebe Dich

]]> =Toume yellow http://Toume.deviantart.com/journal/23248178/ http://Toume.deviantart.com/journal/23248178/ Tue, 17 Feb 2009 06:09:35 PST "You feel like the wind. I need you like air."

just a quick line to say
hi.
i love you.
just so you know.

(and ps. i know the song is originally by coldplay. i like jem though.)

-----

look at the stars
look how they shine for you
and everything you do
yeah, they were all yellow

i came along
i wrote a song for you
and all the things you do
and it was called yellow

so then i took my turn
oh what a thing to have done
and it was all yellow

your skin
oh, yeah your skin and bones
turn into something beautiful
and you know
you know i love you so
you know i love you so

i swam across
i jumped across for you
oh what a thing to do
cause you were all yellow

i drew a line
i drew a line for you
oh, what a thing to do
and it was all yellow

and your skin
oh, yeah your skin and bones
turn into something beautiful
and you know
for you i bleed myself dry
for you i bleed myself dry

it's true
look how they shine for you
look how they shine for you
look how they shine for
look how they shine for you
look how they shine for you
look how they shine

look at the stars
look how they shine for you
and all the things that you do

words to build dreams on

(amen.)
..| I | A d o r e | You | H a r d c o r e. |..

Patrick

Katrina

Krystal

Shane

Brett

Shannon

~wellwornwings

..| C u r r e n t | Q u o t e |..

Sometimes, the greatest journey, is the
D I S T A N C E
between two people.

Ich Liebe Dich

]]> =Toume eyes wider than before http://Toume.deviantart.com/journal/23126590/ http://Toume.deviantart.com/journal/23126590/ Tue, 10 Feb 2009 17:50:27 PST "You feel like the wind. I need you like air."

The rule of this game is to use only the first letter of your name to answer all the questions, and you can not use an answer twice.

1. What is your name: Shannan

2. A four Letter Word: shit

3. A boy's Name: Steven

4. A girl's Name: Shaeny

5. An occupation: shiatsu massage expert

6. A color: salmon

7. Something you wear: slippers

8. A food: shiitake mushrooms

9. Something found in the bathroom: Shhhhhhhh . . . shampoo. (Hah. I already used the other word kids.)

10. A place: Shalimar. FL

11. A reason for being late: stuck behind the snow plow (this morning sucked.)

12. Something you shout: sugar-shitballs!

13. A movie title: Se7en

14. Something you drink: soda-pop

15. A musical group: Soul Asylum (but I personally prefer Scott Matthews)

16. An animal: (hammerhead) shark

17. A street name: South St. (hah.)

19. A song title: Still The Storms (by ziggy marley. it makes me happy. and by the way, just to put this all in perspective, I have 7 different songs named Scream alone. I was way too qualified for this answer)

20. A verb: sleep (god how I would love to be doing that.)

yeah, yeah, yeah. i know
don't remind me
"shannan, you should be working on your various projects."
i am, i am. promise.
including a cute one-shot/prose/poem thingy for valentines day.

if you want a story you're free to request one, but it will be short, and absolutely fluff filled.
if you want something more in-depth, please, get in line.
i love you all, but i can't even keep up with my ideas.
so, like i said, and i'll bold this to be sure,
if you would like a short valentines day story, you're absolutely allowed to request one. provide me a pairing, and i will give you a short, cotton-candy airy fluff-filled, sweet-enough-to-give-you-type-2-diabetes story.

hope that was clear enough.
i love you all oodles.

-----

i love that distant beam of light
a drop of neon floods my weary eyes
illuminates my soul, is inspired
i'm heading your way with the traffic
by my side
remember how it was before
just a minute away
i'll be knocking on your front door
don't underestimate me, this precious time
every second is treated as though
there is no time

your eyes are wider than before
so little has changed
but your eyes now see much more

hush, now sway and fall asleep
gonna drive you away from the trampling of bustling feet
you can lose your troubled thoughts
for tonight at least
you can wake in the morning
feeling that you can breathe

little darling you're mine for tonight
your mellow and tender self
is hard to climb
from you, i turn all doubts deep inside
i surrender myself to your presence
and peace of mind

your eyes are wider than before
so little has changed
but your eyes now see much more
so much more
so, so much more
so much more
so much more

words to build dreams on

(amen.)
..| I | A d o r e | You | H a r d c o r e. |..

Patrick

Katrina

http://Toume.deviantart.com/journal/23107989/ Mon, 09 Feb 2009 17:39:19 PST "You feel like the wind. I need you like air."

just wanted you all to know
i'm alive
and working on my stories.
love you all.

happy single's awareness day soon.
love you.

-----

if you had a bad time
at one of my parties
well i wouldn't expect to be seeing you soon
and that's fine

you have to know why
those things make you happy
you have to know that a second guess
ain't worth the try

just some words of advice
maybe you've heard them before
but here goes
just be true to yourself
if it lands you in hell
well at least now you know
loud and clear is your heart
big and bright are the places you might someday go
with one million things holding you down
why you're one of those things
i don't know
no big deal gotta go

if you're up to your ears
in blood, sweat and wasted years
i'm hoping you're going to open your throat
and just scream

you have to know who and why
which ones miss you when you die
you have to know that a second guess
ain't worth the salt in your eyes

just some words of advice
maybe you've heard them before
but here goes
just be true to yourself
if it lands you in hell
well at least now you know
loud and clear is your heart
big and bright are the places you might someday go
with one million things holding you down
why you're one of these things
no big deal

it just sits on my shoulders
you're breaking my neck
we get crazy with age
now you're under my bed
and it's dark all the time
all the time

just some words of advice
maybe you've heard them before
but here goes
just be true to yourself
if it lands you in hell
well, at least now you know
loud and clear is your heart
big and bright are the places you might someday go
with one million things holding you down
why you're one of those things
i don't know
no big deal here i go.

words to build dreams on

(amen.)
..| I | A d o r e | You | H a r d c o r e. |..

Patrick

Katrina

Krystal

Shane

Brett

Shannon

~wellwornwings

..| C u r r e n t | Q u o t e |..

Sometimes, the greatest journey, is the
D I S T A N C E
between two people.

Ich Liebe Dich