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]]> ~Tronfo http://Tronfo.deviantart.com/journal/23604242/ http://Tronfo.deviantart.com/journal/23604242/ Mon, 09 Mar 2009 05:57:21 PDT
I'm probably not as creepy as my old journals make me sound
Yes, I was that annoying and emo. It was bad.
Most of my deviations are absolute crap! Even the best one in there is far from ideal and needs rewritten some time.
No, really, I'm actually less creepy than my old journals would lead you to believe.

That is all. No names shall be mentioned in order to prevent googling.

]]> ~Tronfo http://Tronfo.deviantart.com/journal/22818427/ http://Tronfo.deviantart.com/journal/22818427/ Mon, 26 Jan 2009 07:39:32 PST
]]> ~Tronfo http://Tronfo.deviantart.com/journal/22313531/ http://Tronfo.deviantart.com/journal/22313531/ Wed, 31 Dec 2008 19:26:19 PST
And as it has become near-sacred tradition to do, I look back at old journal entries...shit, I was a loser. BWAHAHA I KNEW IT! Not that I'm not still a loser, but I'm definitely nowhere near as much of a dumbass as I used to be. I'll probably look at this next time I post and think the same thing.

It sort of makes you wonder where I'll be a year from now. Right now, life is (wait for it) angst-tastic because of (wait for it) a girl, but certainly (or at least hopefully) in a year's time I'll either be over her or dating her (more likely the former). Weird how life turns out like that. I'm going to text her tonight at midnight; it's the only contact with her that I can muster the courage for. So...well, we'll see how that goes.

2008 has been sort of a mixed bag. On one hand, I've tried a lot of new things (heheheheheheheheh...), met some new people, and been pretty successful in the academic and financial aspects of life. On the other hand...well, I managed to not be single for a whopping three days (BIG mistake), and it just hasn't been a terribly happy year.

CMU is going well. I'm an RA, for those of you know don't already know, and I've got a pretty damn nice apartment for it. Next year I'm hoping to rent a house with a few of my friends; there are a few places that are on the market even now that we're gonna start looking at. Computer Science, despite being a tremendous long shot, was definitely the right choice for me, and despite being woefully inadequate in it compared to most of my friends, I'm still doing pretty damn well. Also, my first D&D campaign (as a player; let's not talk about my abortive attempt at DMing) ended at the end of the semester. My roommate was the DM, and in addition to being an all-around awesome guy, he's pretty damn good at what he does. He's running another campaign next semester, and I can't wait for that to get started.

Lately...well, I've been playing a whole bunch of Left 4 Dead and nethack. That's been my winter break so far. I don't really dislike being home, but it sure as hell is boring. I can't wait until I have a place of my own. Well, more or less. My and a few of my friends' own, I suppose would be the correct way of saying. But you get the idea.

New Year's resolutions. Stop being single, first of all. Resolution 1a would be make sure relationship is both not a horrible mistake and reasonably long lasting; I'm not holding out any false hope of meeting whoever I'm going to spend the rest of my life with (or rather, false hope that such a person exists), but I'd at least like to have one good, wholesome relationship.

Aside from that, not really all that much. Get a summer job, I guess? That seems more like a summer resolution to me, and it seems reasonably likely *knock on wood* that I'll be able to get at least a halfway decent internship this summer.

So I guess that's it. This will also mark the first New Year that I've run in for three years where I haven't been at Katie's house. Sorry, Katie; I couldn't justify going back out to Ohio again. Any reason I would have found to go - even that bitchin' scarf! - would just have been a flimy excuse to see a certain someone (alluded to in the second paragraph) again, and...well, Thanksgiving demonstrated how well that works out. I may be many things, but knowingly creepy is not one of them.

Happy New Year everyone; I hope everyone's 2009 is better than my 2008.

]]> ~Tronfo http://Tronfo.deviantart.com/journal/18902254/ http://Tronfo.deviantart.com/journal/18902254/ Tue, 17 Jun 2008 22:32:08 PDT
College is awesome!

Summer sucks ; ;

But I have a summer job on campus starting Friday!

Also, today is my birthday, w00t w00t

Still single...ladies

That's about it. I don't really do much artsy stuff any more - probably because I'm pretty damn bad at it - but I'm almost definitely going to try my hand at writing some stuff in the future, so I'll be sure to post it here if I ever get around to it. I have this thing where I tend to write the very very beginning of a book, then ignore it and never go back. Eh, oh well. They're fun ideas, at the very least.

And just for old time's sake (looking back at old journals)...BAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

BAWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

BAWWWWWW
BAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW


[link]

*cough* That will be all. Also, I have a livejournal now, for those of you who are really interested in the goings-on of my life. Send me a note to get the link; I don't want to post it for the whole interwebs to see.

EDIT: AAAAAAAAAAAAH I HATE EVERYTHING

Where "everything" (not case sensitive) means "how the fuck does an apostrophe follow by a close-parentheses get parsed as ?!??!?!?!??!"

]]> ~Tronfo http://Tronfo.deviantart.com/journal/13994269/ http://Tronfo.deviantart.com/journal/13994269/ Thu, 02 Aug 2007 23:27:13 PDT
It's been a long time since I've done one of these...if you want, you can check back in the deep, dark archives of my blog, past all the emo rants and bad poetry, to where I've done some musical anaysis before. It might be worth your while!

The song for today is "Grow Up and Blow Away," by Metric. Amazing song - if you're reading this on MySpace, it's on my profile. Here are the lyrics: [link]

Shall we get started?


The first verse gives us the song's setting. There are two characters; a man and a woman. The woman is the singer, so we hear the song from her perspective. Obviously. Either that or the speaker is a third party observing the antics of this couple, which actually might be more lucky. Anyways, this couple is pretty poor, barely able to make the rent payments. They keep waiting for some reprieve, but for them, "there is no holiday." Someone "double-crosses her heart" - an interesting phrase that I'll revisit later. He claims that he wants a family, allegedly so he'll have some reason to continue his existence.

The pre-chorus is really key to understanding the song. They are stuck; neither can raise his/herself up long enough to help the other, so they are both stuck in this bad situation. If she could write properly, she'd get him a shovel, but she can't write properly without a typewriter, which he can't get her until he gets a shovel. Vicious cycle. Important reference - the liver implies that the man is an alcoholic; he probably drinks to cope with his life that failed to life up to his expectations.

And the chorus...fairly self-explanatory, really. If this is what the couple was looking forward to, why does it suck so much? They (or possibly just the woman) feel like their life is terrible, but they're wondering if they're just making it seem worse than it is, if they should be happy. So not only is their life terrible, but they're plagued by guilt that maybe they're just making it worse than it really is. In reality, though, it is bad. Their minds are just playing tricks on them. They would be much happier just to die, or "blow away." "Blue to gray" signifies the transition from the idealistic "blue" outlook of life they had as children to the "gray," harsh realities of the real world they must face now that they have grown up.

In the second verse, the guy thinks he took the "easy way" - alcohol/drug abuse. It helps him cope, but in the end, it just makes things even worse for both of them. Again, he double-crosses her heart and pressures her for a family, even though she never wanted one.

Finally, the really short verse near the end makes everything clear. "He wants to start a family/Her body is the baby" releases his true motives: he doesn't really want a family, all he wants is to get laid. There is no romance in this world; no innocence, no "blue." Just the fact that their life is full of suffering and cannot get any better. His choice of the "easy way" has brought him to the point where he only wants cheap, temporary pleasure. The promise of having a family is brought into sharp contrast with just wanting the pleasure of her body; a lifetime of pleasure versus living in the moment.

The ending is fairly ambiguous. The "double cross her heart" line definitely means that he is betraying her love and playing her so he can extort the only joy he has left in life out of her by any means necessary. But it also implies suicide, with the "double cross" being taken both more literally - as slices from a knife - and figuratively - turning her into a Christ figure, a martyr for society. The chorus, especially the line "Why does it feel so good to die today?" emphasizes that a lot; if she were still living, it might say "why WOULD it feel so good to die today" instead. This would also explain the question in the second verse: "What was the easy way?" Was it the man's way of coping, ie, dulling one's senses with drugs and alcohol? Or was it suicide? Neither is a final answer.

All in all, it's a chilling picture of the consequences of giving up. There doesn't seem to be a way out for this couple; although their individual faults are responsible for their collective misery, there is no implication that they could have avoided this. In fact, everything points to the contrary. "If this is the life" extends their predicament to everyone. People have frequently been known to exclaim "This is the life!" when they are in a good mood. Or at least in cheesy 90's movies. But maybe for a lot of people, the best they can expect is barely scraping by. Through no fault of their own, they get stuck in an inescapable situation. But is it truly inescapable? Maybe through hard work, as opposed to "the easy way,"... ]]> ~Tronfo http://Tronfo.deviantart.com/journal/13976877/ http://Tronfo.deviantart.com/journal/13976877/ Wed, 01 Aug 2007 20:01:11 PDT .>

So can someone make one for me? I'll love you forever! ^___^ Bonus points if there's a trombone in it! And while you're at it, maybe make me a thing for my literary submissions, too? I'll love you forever...TWICE. It has to be 20x155 pixels, and less than 20 kb.

And for that matter, the avatar (so THAT'S what it's called) has to be 50x50 pixels and less than 15 kb. Thanks in advance!

And in terms of deviantID...I know a guy with a sweet camera at CMU who always takes pictures with it. I'll just get him to take pics of me with it until I find one I like, then ID-ize it. 'Cause I rock.

]]> ~Tronfo http://Tronfo.deviantart.com/journal/13975764/ http://Tronfo.deviantart.com/journal/13975764/ Wed, 01 Aug 2007 18:33:13 PDT
Yes, that's how I measure time >.>

Anyways, for those of you who don't know:

I am going to Carnegie Mellon next year for Computer Science. w000t!

I am writing a book which will update periodically. Hopefully I'll actually finish it.

I don't really update my journal much. Sowwy!

Aaaaaaaaand yeah. There is a very, VERY small chance that I will draw more and submit it, but...don't count on it. I don't really do that much anymore; it's mostly writing for me, now.

To anyone reading this 'cause I watched you or fav'd something of yours: you're awesome! Keep up whatever you're doing, and don't worry - I don't really comment a lot because I'm horribly awkward and bad at it, and really, I don't have much of an eye for art beyond "OOH THIS IS PRETTY!" so I can't really add any criticism to it...but if I added your stuff, I thought it was pretty, for what it's worth

I wanted to say more, but I forget, so until next year ^_^

Oh, if you really wanna talk to me, my AIM is "Hi" (minus the "s) in binary. Figure it out! Oh, the first character is a capital "O" instead of a zero. Just so y'know.

]]> ~Tronfo http://Tronfo.deviantart.com/journal/9306244/ http://Tronfo.deviantart.com/journal/9306244/ Fri, 07 Jul 2006 20:55:19 PDT
I got 5s (out of five ^^) on both of my AP tests, which is awesome, 'cause I thought the APUSH one was really hard.

My MySpace (which I actually use) is [link] if you actually care about what I'm doing (most of my friends on this are on myspace anyways, though, so yeah).

I had other things to say, but I forget. Oh yeah, I'm in Colorado. Latahz! ]]> ~Tronfo http://Tronfo.deviantart.com/journal/8723382/ http://Tronfo.deviantart.com/journal/8723382/ Tue, 09 May 2006 17:34:59 PDT ~Tronfo http://Tronfo.deviantart.com/journal/8490200/ http://Tronfo.deviantart.com/journal/8490200/ Sun, 16 Apr 2006 14:34:28 PDT 10 megapixels, apparantly). Which reminds me...any tips on that? I'm a dA photo n00b, and I'd like these to look...y'know...good... ]]> ~Tronfo http://Tronfo.deviantart.com/journal/8068225/ http://Tronfo.deviantart.com/journal/8068225/ Sat, 04 Mar 2006 19:10:54 PST
(necessary background info: this guy's been trying to get her back 'cause he thinks she's single, so he doesn't know we're going out yet)

Val: Hello?
Guy: Hey, what's up?
Val: Nothin' much, just talking to my boyfriend.
Guy: O...oh....
Guy: *sniff* I gotta go...bye...*sniff*

That made me laugh really hard. ]]> ~Tronfo http://Tronfo.deviantart.com/journal/7794049/ http://Tronfo.deviantart.com/journal/7794049/ Sat, 04 Feb 2006 21:21:04 PST
EDIT STARTS

So, we went to Jenny's house for a while today. It was me, Val, Pettay and Jenny. We watched a movie, then went to pep band, but band was canceled, so we went back. Then we went to the mall, us and Alison. The bad news is that Alison's pissed at me 'cause I guess I was a bit too close with Val, but...other than that, today was amazing, and I'm refusing to let that ruin it. After the mall, we went to Applebee's and then back to Jenny's to watch a movie, then home now, at midnight!

So to make a long story short, me 'n Val are dating now, I'm happier then I've ever been in my life, and...I think that's it. Yay!

ANOTHER EDIT

So, I go to the Cobalt Flux forums, and apparantly, they've been shipping 'em without changing the status, which means mine could very well be on its way! This is seriously the best day ever now. Yessssssssssssssssss!!!!!!!!!!! ]]> ~Tronfo http://Tronfo.deviantart.com/journal/7680580/ http://Tronfo.deviantart.com/journal/7680580/ Sun, 22 Jan 2006 21:33:48 PST


So, I've been thinking. Bad sign. Nothing good ever comes of that. So, this is how I go about liking/not liking girls. I don't really get a crush on one specific person (I used to, but that really sucked, so I've made myself stop it). Instead, I just divide the girls I know into two groups: the group I would go out with and the group I wouldn't. And although physical attraction is nice for the date-able group, it's usually based on A) how much they seem attracted to me (hahaha, I'm so bad at that, though) and B) how compatible I think we'd be. But without naming any names, let it suffice to say that the list of single girls I'd consider going out with is dwindling very, very quickly.

Which brings me to my next topic: SnoBall. Quick list of people I know going to it together:

Pettay + Jenny
Alex + Katie K.
Matt + Meggles
Jackie + Stephen (I think...I forget his name, sorry, Jackie ; ; )
And at least one other couple that I said I'd keep quite about

So, one thing ALL of them have in common (except that Stephen kid): they're my friends. Now, I don't know about you guys, but...for me, after a while, it starts to really, really hurt. Before I start ranting more, please, don't get me wrong, I'm happy for all of you. But...nobody's perfect. I wish I could say that all I feel is happiness for all my friends who, for however short a period of time, have found love (or whatever you kids call it nowadays), but I can't. The truth is, I'm starting to get jealous. First one couple hooking up. Alright, that's fine. Then another. Then another. Then another and another and before I know it, it seems like everyone and their dog has a boy/girlfriend except me! It hurts after a while, especially when I'm watching it happen.

And sometimes, of course, I'm taking an active role in it. I mean, what the hell am I supposed to do? "No, I'm sorry, I'm not gonna help you two hook up because I'm jealous." No way! I'm not that much of an asshole. And so I'm watching, watching and wondering what the hell is wrong with me. And y'know what? I guess I can't complain. Carly asked me to SnoBall. But hell, I'm sorry, but I don't like her that way! Maybe I led her on with my pervertedness, and if I did...well, that's a rant unto itself. But all of these people also seem to like each other mutually, so ha.

So, I'm wondering, what is wrong with me? And you know what I've come up with? Luck. It's all luck, and when it comes to happiness, my luck is in INCREDIBLY short supply. Too bad I can't go into the whole dating Carolyn thing, but let it suffice to say that bad luck played a part in our breakup. Shitty, awful luck. Here's a tangible example: I sat with Val on the way home, and Pettay sat with Jenny. Those two are dating now. And y'know, this is pure speculation, but I think I could be dating Val, if it weren't for one tiny issue: SHE HAS A BOYFRIEND. How's that for luck? And if that weren't enough, everyone else here has known each other forever. Katie (Kantor, not Levy) lives across the street from Alex. Using Carolyn as an example once again...she was new, and I was new. It was bound to happen, especially since we had a lot of common interests. So, if I use that model, the girl I have the best chance with now is...Camille! Great! NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN. First of all, she hates me. Second of all, I don't even know her well enough to know if I'd WANT to date her. I find her attractive, but hell, I can say that about most of the girls I know. That's all I know about her. She's pretty, she plays oboe, and she used to live in Georgia. Oh, that and she hates me. Did I mention she hates me? I don't think I did.

So, I think I've thoroughly demonstrated my point. So, here's an example of hope, and why it's...hopeless. That's right, I systematically break down why certain girls would never go out with me. Great way to kill some time. The person of the day is: REDACTED, assuming that's how you spell her name. Friday night, as...one of you may recall, she was all over me. That was great, it really was. What can I say, I'm a touchie sort of guy. Take the exact opposite of Liz. It made me feel good again, decent again, like maybe I had a chance at being happy again. Of course, the next day (yesterday) I broke down why I wouldn't go to SnoBall with her if she asked (again, feel free to laugh your ass off at me here, as I am a horrible judge of character), but fast forward to tonight (party at Katie Kantor's house, yo): wants NOTHING to do with me. Treats me like...well, like a normal friend. Which is what we are. I wish I knew what was in that email that she wouldn't let Tyler show me. Maybe it would shed some light on things...or maybe I'm just a nosy asshole. Probably the nosy as... ]]> ~Tronfo http://Tronfo.deviantart.com/journal/7614999/ http://Tronfo.deviantart.com/journal/7614999/ Sun, 15 Jan 2006 21:20:12 PST
Story time! So, I go to Katie's carpet party thing, right? Well, first I wasn't going to go, 'cause Carolyn was gonna be there, too, and I figured it would just make it suck for both of us. Yeah, I was right. It wasn't THAT bad, but we were both sort of restricted to half of the room, plus...I really hate having to ignore my ex-best friend/girlfriend for ambiguous reasons (I still don't know what the hell I did). So that made me feel sort of shitty, but that wasn't TOO terrible (except I started thinking about her, which is ALWAYS bad...bah, thinking sucks...I'll rant about that in the next paragraph, don't worry).

(...okay, the one after the next one)

But then, I got the fucking GENIUS idea in my head to let Ashey sleep on me. So she's resting her head on my shoulder, and I have my arm wrapped around her. I don't know why the fuck I did it, since I knew nothing good was gonna come of it, but hey, check out the consequences! Go read Carolyn's newest journal. Now. And yes, I read them. Call me creepy, call me a stalker, call me whatever the hell you want. I'm worried about her, I would INFINITELY prefer still being her friend, and I was curious to see what she had to say about spending time around me for the first time since...a long time ago. So, now she's even more pissed at me AND pissed at one of her best friends. Wonderful. Just Goddamn wonderful.

So, anyways, I got to thinking, and I realized something. It's my fault we broke up. I can't go into any details, but I would bet money that if I could go back in time and redo the day we broke up - or even tell myself to not be an idiot and push me in the right direction - I bet we'd still be dating right now, and lovin' the hell out of it. But no. I'm an idiot. So now I'm just gonna have that looming over my head forever.

And y'know what? Say I mess that up. Our friendship is still doomed. Y'know why? 'Cause I can't warn myself not to do something when I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS. I don't know what I did to piss her off at me. It could have been several things, but neither of them make sense. The only reasonable explanation is that she was just looking for an excuse to break off our friendship and get really pissed at me, and I just don't want to believe that.

So where does that leave me? Well, as of now, I wish one of two things would happen. One, I would wake up from this nightmare, because that is what my life has been since November. One huge, continuous nightmare. There have been some high points, but everything has just been fucking seeped in depression. I've changed the paths I take between classes to avoid running into her. Hell, on Friday, I saw her coming towards me in the lunch hallway thing, so I do a 180, backtrack around and through the senior hall just to get to band without running into her. And it really, really sucks. I mean, she was my best friend, before we were dating, and I know I was hers. I know things about her that her own brother doesn't know (and belive me, they're close. Oh, and I'm not telling you them. I'm not a complete asshole. They're comin' with me to my grave); things that she told me because she knew she could trust me and needed someone to vent to. And when we were dating...I wish I hadn't wasted most of that month worrying myself into depression about losing her. That was the best month of my life...the calm before the storm, I suppose. Who does she have now? Who the hell is gonna make her feel better now when she's feeling down, or spoil her with manga, or make her fucking happy again? I don't mean to exaggerate my self worth, but dammit, when we were friends, she was happy, but when we were dating, I doubt anyone had ever been happier than she was! Hell, read her old journals, or her xanga, or anything! I accidentally read an old xanga post of hers from right after we had started dating (I was going to unsubscribe from her, since she never uses it anymore, and if she did, I doubt she'd want me reading it, even though I probably would anyways), and it made me cry, because it reminded me of a time when I was worth something...when I was happy, and in love, and nothing could have been better...but now, it's like I'm living in a nightmare. Everything I worried about, all of my worst fears, they all came true, except a thousand times worse.

The first day we were technically going out (I still remember how happy I was then...), we promised we'd stay as friends, no matter what. And technically, I broke that first (explanation: I had told her that if she kept hurting me the way she was (ignoring me, getting pissed over nothing, etc.), I would just give up, 'cause it wasn't worth it. In retrospect, I probably wouldn't have gone through with it, but I really meant it at the time), so don't go getting pissed at her a... ]]> ~Tronfo http://Tronfo.deviantart.com/journal/7540243/ http://Tronfo.deviantart.com/journal/7540243/ Sat, 07 Jan 2006 22:58:21 PST









So, I've finally come up with a near-flawless anaology of how I feel. I know, you're all fucking leaping with joy. Well, too bad. If you ignored the angst warning, you should've been prepared for some stupid, whiny emo shit like this.

Anyways, I'm sure all of you have had a significant other (well, boyfriend, since all of the people who read this are girls, from what I can remember) at one point or another, right? Have you even been away from that person for a long period of time? You get a feeling of loneliness and separation, especially if you'e really close, and of course, the longer it goes on, the worse it gets. Now, take that feeling, and remove any hope of recovery from it in the near future. Oh, and don't forget to multiply it by 10 or so, just for shits and giggles. Done all that? Good. Now you have something approximating how I feel. Maybe this is how people feel after every breakup...I don't know, since this is my first. But I sort of thought that was supposed to get better, and I'm just feeling worse and worse. It's getting almost unbearable, and that's partly why I'm always such an asshole around girls. Just the physical (non-sexual) sensation of being close to someone (well, some girl, for me) is enough to make me fel a little beter, but what I really need is someone to love, to be with, to trust completely, to just be with when I need her...something that's just not going to happen, but I keep trying to fill in the loneliness with...I don't know what.

There's no excuse for how much of an asshole I am to pretty much any girl I hang out with. There are reasons, but not explanations. Too bad there's not an end either...sometimes I hate caring about people, because I just end up feeling depressed, no matter what I do. I am now a firm believer in the idea that everyone I know here in Ohio would be much better off if I had never come here, and only slightly less well off if I killed myself now. Not that I'm going to, of course. And I'm probably never going to, unless I manage to get my hands on a lot of drugs and/or alchohol...or at least a gun. A gun would be nice. That's probably how I would kill myself. That or sleeping pills, although the gun would be much more likely to succeed. Anyone got a spare? It'll be worth your while...

Just kidding. Sort of. Maybe, like, 20% kidding, or something. Not like it matters...chances are, y'all are stuck with me for a long, long time. Like, until I graduate, but still. I dare any of you to prove me wrong about how you'd be better off without me, though. Bring it. ]]> ~Tronfo http://Tronfo.deviantart.com/journal/7488030/ http://Tronfo.deviantart.com/journal/7488030/ Mon, 02 Jan 2006 11:13:35 PST
Okay, let's begin. The bus ride there was...unmemorable. I played lots of video games and listened to lots of music, and the whole time got MAYBE an hour of sleep. High points were stopping at Arby's (I love that place ) and Val and Jenny giving me a makeover (Shut up, Meggles >.< ). Thank God I could get all that mascara out before we got to MGM O_o;; Oh yeah, and we watched Zoolander, which pretty much set the stage for a TON of jokes and goings-on, so that was pretty sweet.

Then we finally got to Disney. Well, first we had a buffet at the Golden Corral. I accidentally got the shit-flavored (aka sugar-free) syrup, and even when I got the good stuff, the taste stayed in my mouth, so that sort of sucked. Actually, that whole day sort of sucked. Again, high points were playing DDR (the second time...I could hardly walk after the first time 'cause I played some uberhard songs) and...going on the Tower of Terror, I guess. Fantasmic was sort of dumb. This also marked the last day (hopefully >.<;; ) of me being a pervert...let's hope I can stick with it.

My roommates were nice. Sergei was awesome, and Tyler and Brandon were probably two of the coolest freshmen in the band, so it wasn't as bad as I was afraid it was going to be by a long shot. I only slept on the couch once, though...the rest of the time, it was the floor for me ; ; Oh well, I don't really mind.

The next day was...band clinic and Epcot, I believe. Fun stuff. Oh yes, and breakfast! Best. French toast. Ever. We were supposed to go to a water park, but Kurt was being awesome and got us to go to Epcot, instead (5 out of almost 300 of us voted for the water park, the rest for Epcot), so I hung out with Meggles (ooh, congrats on SnoBall again, by the way!), Amy, Sarah (with an H, I hope...I forget already), and Brenda. I got a pearl at the Japan section (which I then accidentally threw away, so I had to get another >.< ) and a fez (which is now falling apart) at the Morocco section.

That evening, I'm pretty sure we practiced for the parade (sorry, I don't remember when anything was, and I lost my pocket itinerary before we even got to MGM).Y'know how in Zoolander, he can't turn left? Well, we had two (well, three, but Berry was a retard and said two) left turns to practice for and I got a lot of mileage out of the phrase "I can't turn left." Then, that night, we had the pirate dinner, for which I wore a Hawaiian shirt, khaki dress pants, and a fez. I guess it was pretty cool, but I was busy trying in vain to help out my former Epcot group (don't fell like writing out y'all's names again, sorry) by getting them all at the same table (I still feel really bad about that...I should have at least traded cards with Matt or someone. I know I was probably the last person you (as in Meggles) and Amy wanted to eat dinner with >.< ).

Breakfast was disappointing the next day...no French toast, so I had to have some merely adequate pancakes. But then we had the parade, in which I sweated so much my ENTIRE SHIRT felt like I had soaked it underwater for a good hour. Then we went to the hotel to cool down after that. It was pretty fun, 'cause we (me, Jenny, Val, Alex Brown, Matt, and Pettay) all hung out in Brown and Company's room while it was trashed, mostly by Matt, Val, and Jenny, with help from Brown and Pettay and myself as a captive audience. Afterwards, we chilled at Epcot a bit, saw Illuminations, and went to the NEXT parade, which was much less deadly. Fun stuff, and not a bad day. Prob'ly the best one so far.

And now for New Year's Eve. We went to this buffet breakfast of justice where I loaded up on French toast sticks (I love that shit), then to Downtown Disney. I was sort of pissed at Downtown Disney 'cause we couldn't find DDR (turns out it was at Disney Quest and the movie theatre...oh well), but then we found ice cream, so I bought some for Val, Jenny, and Pettay, as well as mysef, of course. After that, we goofed off in the fountain for a while and had a good time before the orchestra concert, watched the concert, and went to Magic Kingdom.

Okay, Magic Kingdom gets its own section thingy 'cause it was big. And by big, I mean crowded, large, and full of events. Not to mention that we stayed there for almost 12 hours. So, at first, it sort of sucked...the lines were all uber, so we just sort of wandered around. Finally, when we were in the hour-long line for It's a Small World (kill me now -_-), I called Meggles out of boredom. She said she was waiting in a 65-minute line for the Haunted Mans... ]]> ~Tronfo http://Tronfo.deviantart.com/journal/7424792/ http://Tronfo.deviantart.com/journal/7424792/ Mon, 26 Dec 2005 17:43:28 PST ~Tronfo http://Tronfo.deviantart.com/journal/7394016/ http://Tronfo.deviantart.com/journal/7394016/ Fri, 23 Dec 2005 16:13:24 PST ~Tronfo http://Tronfo.deviantart.com/journal/7356669/ http://Tronfo.deviantart.com/journal/7356669/ Mon, 19 Dec 2005 17:05:42 PST
Submitting before this turns into an angsty rant... ]]> ~Tronfo http://Tronfo.deviantart.com/journal/7328109/ http://Tronfo.deviantart.com/journal/7328109/ Fri, 16 Dec 2005 13:19:01 PST










This week, to put it bluntly, has been hell. I know I tend to rant, so I'm gonna be as brief and general as possible.

The last few months have had one recurring theme for me: no matter how hard to try, you're just going to fuck up and do horribly in the end, so don't even bother. It's happened in APUSH with essays and tests, it's happened in pre calc, where even if I only get, say, less than one question wrong per test and do all of my homework, I can still only get an A-, and most recently, no matter how hard I try to be friends with someone and honor a promise I made, I'll still end up screwing it up somehow.

If you go to school with me, you probably know what I'm talking about by now. Apparantly I said something wrong, and lost all of her respect. Well, okay, she's perfectly justified to not want to be friends with me, and I'm not mad at her at all. But...I have no idea what I did, and probably never will. I tried as hard as I could to make sure we would still be friends, but something backfired, and I don't know what, or how, or why, or anything.

So, if any of you want to ask what it is (I wouldn't reccomend it, personally...it's probably something I said that offended her completely by accident; I tend to do that a lot), I have no problem with it, obviously, but if you do, two requests: First of all, don't tell her about this. She wants nothing to do with me, and I respect that. Second of all - and MUCH more important) - DO NOT TELL ME. If she wants me to know, she'll tell me, and if she doesn't, she won't. Simple as that.

To repeat: I'm not mad, I don't hate her, and I'd truly prefer that we'd have stayed as friends. But it doesn't really matter what spurred it, I guess...ugh. So right now, I'm confused, miserable, and probably at a new low, happiness-wise. And don't get mad at her because I'm like this now. Y'all have probably read my rant enough to know that I get depressed at the drop of a hat. This is my fault for overreacting, for being an angsty little loser, for being socially retarded, and for a thousand other reasons...she's just doing the right thing, even if I don't understand it.

Oh yeah, one more thing...don't get close to me. Not physically (although I do smell pretty bad), you know what I mean. This entire thing will just happen all over again, and we'll all just end up with less than when we started. I've lost three best friends because I'm awful at maintaining close friendships with people, and I'm too fucking stupid to learn from my mistakes, so since I'm not likely to learn anything this time, either, if y'all could do it for me, I'd really appreciate it. ]]> ~Tronfo http://Tronfo.deviantart.com/journal/7304650/ http://Tronfo.deviantart.com/journal/7304650/ Wed, 14 Dec 2005 20:12:34 PST
Unless you consider the song angsty, I dunno. Anyways, it's by the Dandy Warhols (cool name, eh? just found 'em), and it's called I Am Sound. Go buy (or download, you horrible people ) their music! I'll try to find the song to put on my xanga, but no promises.

For have I
Built a castle
Upon believing
Before I doubt
I have suffered
But my friends say
I have learned from it
And for have I
Believed the snow could
Not be freezing
Upon the ground
Now my a**
Is blue and black but
I am sound

And for have I
Belonged to no one
More than fleetingly and in doubt
I have had what
Now is gone but
Still I've known them
And for have I
I have absolved my-
Self of demons
I must confess
Having known them
Growing old then
I will rehehehest
But where are the songs
For me to sing along
When I am hoping
Someone writes one
For me
And sings me something sweetly
For I promise to sing along
And then we'll both know nothing's wrong
Singing na nana na

For have I
Delivered comfort
To the aching
And for the tired
With these words
Of comic wisdom
I have triahahaid
So where are the songs
For me to sing along
When I am hoping
Someone writes one
For me
And sings me something sweetly
For I promise to sing along
And then we'll both know nothing's wrong
Singing na
Nana na ]]> ~Tronfo http://Tronfo.deviantart.com/journal/7293088/ http://Tronfo.deviantart.com/journal/7293088/ Mon, 12 Dec 2005 15:49:30 PST
Right now, I'm about to snap. I've had it with people right about now, and I am THIIISSSS close to going up to several people in school and yelling at them until I collapse from lack of oxygen. I can take a lot of shit from people, but I've just about had it...

And it's so fucking cold down here...I don't know if it's the weather or just a sign that I'm being really mentally taxed (I can stand so much cold because I generally ignore it) or what, but DAMN, it's cold down here.

Your comments are always appreciated, even if it's just random, pointless stuff. However, don't expect me to honor any requests for no repies to them. If I feel like something needs replied to, dammit, I'm gonna reply to it! ]]> ~Tronfo http://Tronfo.deviantart.com/journal/7278308/ http://Tronfo.deviantart.com/journal/7278308/ Sat, 10 Dec 2005 22:53:31 PST
I've just been really bored lately...not your usual, "oh, I can't think of anything to do" bored, I mean, like, chronically bored. I don't feel like doing anything. I only shaved 'cause my mom made me, I only trimmed my fingernails 'cause they were getting in the way when I typed, and in general, I feel bored pretty much all the time. It's more than just boredom, though...I can't quite put a word to it, but I know there probably is one that I just can't think of ; ; Maybe it's something obvious, like depression...I dunno.

I think part of the problem is just that I'm...me. Y'see, in general, I've discovered that to be happy, I need to make other people happy. And for a while, that was all well and good. But...love* changes everything. To use an incredibly overused analogy, it filled up an empty space inside of me that I didn't even know was there, but am now painfully aware of. And I can try to fill it up with little things, but it's just not enough. It's like trying to fill a dried-out ocean with spit, but harder. I've never really been once for patience, either, so it's hard for me to just sit here and wait for something that I know isn't going to come for at least two years. Because let's face it - the only girls here that I would even consider dating would never, EVER even THINK about going out with me (and for some reason, that's comforting...odd). I'm gonna have to wait 'til college, and even then, it's iffy at best.

Speaking of patience...I'm just not at my best any more. I definitely know the reason people call their spouse their better half now. Before, I had a reason to do everything. I kept my job for Carolyn, I worked harder at school, I did everything ten times better than any other time in my life, all because I had her there for me. Call it creepy, call it obsessive, call it whatever you want - I call it the truth. My perviness and my low self-esteem were pretty much the only faults of mine that she didn't completely erase.

And now speaking of low self-esteem...despite everything I had, despite love, and happiness, and all that jazz, I still wasn't happy. Well, I was, but not all the time. I would get so afraid of losing her, of losing my happiness, that I...well, I lost my happiness -_- Funny how that works out, eh? And I would convince myself that there was nothing I could do, that I was just a horrible boyfriend, and so on, until I was pretty damn worked up. Of course, I turned out to be right, but still...the worst instance of that was at the halloween dance. All I can remember is that no matter what I said or did, Ashley was there, just glaring at me like it was her job or something...and if you've ever had her glare at you, it's pretty damn unnerving. I still suspect sometimes that that day was the main reason we broke up...I thought I was doing everything the same as I had been (which was apparantly the right thing, or so I thought), but...that stare...ugh. And that was the last time I got to see Carolyn as my girlfriend...the next day, I was feeling depressed as hell...Monday, Carolyn wasn't there 'cause she was sick...Tuesday...I can't even remember. Was it that day we broke up, or the week after? I'm pretty sure it was that Tuesday, but not certain. But that's irrelevant. When I look back over the time that we were going out, there are only a few major good points that stand out...there was Homecoming, there was her birthday...and then I look at all the low points: Halloween dance and two or three times other than that when I got really depressed due to various reasons.

When I look back and notice stuff like that, I can't help but wonder what the fuck is wrong with me. It was only a few weeks, but for those weeks, I had everything I needed and then some...but I still wasn't happy. So is there really a point to looking forward to another relationship with someone else? I don't think so...not if I'm just going to be miserable regardless of how happy I should be, of how loved I am, or of how much I love that person back...or maybe somehow, against all odds, I'll overcome all of those...and then we'll break up because of something stupid I did, or something completely irrelevant, or anything random like that. It would go with the theme of my life. I don't think I'm supposed to be happy. I could be put in a situation that would make a fucking rock happy, and still find a way to be depressed. Whether from fear of loss or actual loss or anything in between, I'm just gonna manage to find a way to make myself completely miserable, no matter what happens to make me theoretically happy.

Quick survey: has anyone ever asked you that dumb question that goes like, "If you could be eternally content with your life or live with alternating periods of bliss and misery, which would you choose?" I'm the only per... ]]> ~Tronfo http://Tronfo.deviantart.com/journal/7247442/ http://Tronfo.deviantart.com/journal/7247442/ Wed, 07 Dec 2005 13:45:26 PST ~Tronfo http://Tronfo.deviantart.com/journal/7215178/ http://Tronfo.deviantart.com/journal/7215178/ Sat, 03 Dec 2005 22:20:56 PST [link]




So, Friday night, my computer got a virus. Not just a virus, though. Oh, no. That would be too simple. It was transmitted through AIM, and has somehow managed to infest every single little orifice of my computer. Ad-Aware? Nope. Spybot: Search and Destroy? Not workin'. AIM Fix? It fixed the AIM-hijacking part, but I still have the damned adware on my computer! So the last...God only knows how many hours have been spent trying to get this shit off my computer. Not fun -_-

Other than that, though, I'm doin' okay. Got Guitar Hero today, and it's really fun. Pettay came over, and we played SCII, XIII, and Smash Bros. for a bit (I pwned him in all 3 ). And pep band was fun yesterday, of course...sorry Meghann, I've corrupted Sean, too

I WAS downloading more anime, but all the trackers decided to die. Oh well, I got the first 6 OVAs of Dokuro-chan downloaded. Good stuff.

I need to trim my fingernails. They're making it hard to type...heh heh.

APUSH! Stuff due on Wednesday for history, more stuff due next week for English, and a horrible test on Friday that I don't want to get back! Plus, I'm still missing one of my books ; ; I hope someone finds it....

I was going to buy Bawls today, but I didn't have time ; ; oh well.

Well, that's pretty much it. Whee! ]]> ~Tronfo http://Tronfo.deviantart.com/journal/7187789/ http://Tronfo.deviantart.com/journal/7187789/ Wed, 30 Nov 2005 17:17:23 PST THe highest score was 58/50, though. Oh well, maybe it'll help offset my awful upcoming grade from my binder check...meh.

In APUSH, we also got stuff back. English thing that I got a B+/A- on (Knap has a very ambiguous grading scale), FRQ got a 54/65, further proving my theory that whenever I think I did really badly on something, that something will never happen, or anything along those lines, the opposite happens, and vice-versa. Sort of a shitty outlook on life, but at least it's a situation in which pessimism is a very, very good thing

Pre-Calc quiz...I thought it was easy, so I probably failed Actually, my law only seems to apply to certain things...hard to explain, but I can sort of tell when it's gonna kick in sometimes, and I have a truly good feeling about that quiz. Oh well.

You all have a free, lifetime subscription to Angst-on-Demand (tm)! Instead of me complaining about things on here, I'll just say that I am feeling shitty. If you give a shit or are just curious, just send me a note or email or IM or ask me in school or something and I'll elaborate. I'll probably still whine about stuff on here, but it'll (hopefully) be much less frequent. Whee!

That's all for now...see yas! Feel free to test out Angst-on-Demand (tm) any time ;; ]]> ~Tronfo http://Tronfo.deviantart.com/journal/7168217/ http://Tronfo.deviantart.com/journal/7168217/ Mon, 28 Nov 2005 15:57:11 PST



So I'm gonna stop trying to be all angsty and annoying and shit. *Try*

Just saw Chicken Little yesterday with Carolyn, Tom, and one of his friends. It was awesome HIghly reccomended...there's even some adult humor in it for those of us more pervertedly inclined

APUSH FRQ tomorrow...hopefully it'll be on something I know That's a cool class, though. Always interesting, for sure.

DDR club tomorrow...maybe...I dunno, I'm gonna bring the stuff, but I don't have high hopes for it. That'll go under an angsty blog some time.

Not much else happening, y'know? Life goes on, for better or worse...yesterday, I felt awful, but today I feel alright. I know what I need to do to feel better now. At least, I think I do. But it's a start, right? ]]> ~Tronfo http://Tronfo.deviantart.com/journal/7136688/ http://Tronfo.deviantart.com/journal/7136688/ Thu, 24 Nov 2005 21:49:16 PST
I downloaded....er, bought...yeah, bought Queen's Greatest Hits I album. Finally catching up to the rest of the world Pretty good stuff, too. Bohemian Rhapsody pwns, even gave me a new personal quote. Old one was getting too depressing, not that this one is a huge step up. Meh, whatever.

Guild Wars still rocks. Just so you know

Ummm...nothing else really happening. Except I have the fucking worst luck ever. My luck is only good in order to set me up for a huge wave of massively shitty luck later. I have several documented happenings of this, but one example is APUSH. So, during class I'm usually pretty brilliant. Gorman and Knap think I'm awesome, but whenever it MATTERS - DBQs, FRQs, etc. - I suck ass. Well, I still think of stuff that I think is brilliant, but it isn't. It's only intelligent when I'm not getting graded. And that's only one minor example. Meh.

Oh, I'd also like to apologize for being such a dick all the time. Not to say I'm going to change...I'm just sorry. Fuck, I couldn't even change for Carolyn when we were going out (not something I'm proud of, by the way -_-). No way I'm gonna stop being a pervert just 'cause I'm pissing my friends off, even if I am sorry. I had to come to terms with the fact that I'm an asshole over the summer (well, really in the early school year, but whatever)...if I hadn't, I probably would have killed myself by now. Just to clarify things, I'm NOT suicidal. I wish I had never been born, but I realize that killing myself now is just gonna hurt people, plus there's still a small chance that things might actually get better and fucking STAY that way for once. Just so nobody overreacts...yeah.

I'm not really feeling all that great right now in case you couldn't tell, but it doesn't really matter. It's not the worst I've ever felt, and I'll live.

Here, go read Something*Positive at [link]. The main character reminds me of me...not really a good thing. House also reminds me of myself...well, actually, he's like the me I could be if shit keeps happening to me. I really don't wanna be like that...hell, maybe I am already and I can't tell, I dunno. Davan (S*P's main character dude) is still sort of an ass, but he's nice sometimes and pretty damn smart. I'd like to meet the author of that comic some time. Maybe I'll go to Harvard just for that...

I'm gonna go to sleep now...I like doing anything that keeps me from thinking. Video games, books, some movies...doesn't matter what it is. Whenever I think too much I start feeling worse than I already do, and that's bad. For me, at least...some people would probably love knowing that I feel bad, and I don't blame any of 'em.

Fuck, I started thinking again. Sometimes I wonder if I'm too nice. Like, in case you haven't noticed, I hardly ever get angry at anyone. Carolyn knows this better than anyone else, probably, but yeah. I'm starting to wonder if that's bad for me...like, maybe I'm somehow blaming myself for everything everyone I know does and completely absolving them of any responsibility in my mind. I at least blame my luck all the time, and that's a lot more psychologically damaging than blaming a person. After all, bad luck means the problem's with me and will never leave me ever as long as I live, but blaming the person means there's always another chance for something better...really fucking deep, huh? Well, not like I'm ever gonna change that. My temper has a really long fuse (no innuendo intended), but it's pretty nasty when I do blow up at someone, and it's usually over nothing and far worse than anything they deserve. I don't want to put anyone through that, and if it fucks me up a little bit, that's just too damn bad. Every minute I spend miserable is worth it if it's keeping someone else from feeling miserable, especially if they're a really close friend...plus I would feel really awful after I realize what I've done.

When I went and saw a shrink, all we did was talk about fucking football. None of this shit. Wow, I think I've just found my perfect job. Well, I'm gonna go be a worthless, depressing lump somewhere else now.

Quote of the long period of time: "I don't wanna die; I sometimes wish I'd never been born at all"
~Queen, Hungarian Rhapsody ]]> ~Tronfo http://Tronfo.deviantart.com/journal/7083698/ http://Tronfo.deviantart.com/journal/7083698/ Fri, 18 Nov 2005 19:30:38 PST

And if I'm logged on AIM or GTalk, it's because my computer turned itself on again >.< stupid thing. ]]> ~Tronfo http://Tronfo.deviantart.com/journal/7048265/ http://Tronfo.deviantart.com/journal/7048265/ Mon, 14 Nov 2005 18:38:12 PST ~Tronfo http://Tronfo.deviantart.com/journal/7037496/ http://Tronfo.deviantart.com/journal/7037496/ Sun, 13 Nov 2005 16:12:04 PST ~Tronfo http://Tronfo.deviantart.com/journal/6715498/ http://Tronfo.deviantart.com/journal/6715498/ Sat, 08 Oct 2005 20:17:56 PDT
Anyways!

So, people can get hit with ugly sticks. And since a stick can be brown, or black, or greyish-white, it stands to reason that it can be ugly, or any other adjective, too. And when someone gets hit with an ugly stick, they become ugly, so it would make sense that if someone gets hit with an (adjective) stick, they become (adjective). And if there's an (adjective) stick, it must come from an (adjective) tree, which in turn could grow in an (adjective) forest.

That being said, and recent events taken into account, I think I was just hit with a whole fucking lucky FOREST this evening.

DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

<33333333333333333333333333333 ]]> ~Tronfo http://Tronfo.deviantart.com/journal/6698155/ http://Tronfo.deviantart.com/journal/6698155/ Thu, 06 Oct 2005 18:39:05 PDT
So I spend the evening with Carolyn. We're both happy. Awesome time. My mom picks me up. I get in the car. She complains at me from the moment I get in to the moment she gets too pissed at me at home to do anything except slam doors at me.

Now I'm supposed to be spending the day with Carolyn on Saturday and taking her out to dinner (well, making her brother take us...same thing), but I don't think my mom's gonna let me 'cause she's gonna be too angry at me to do anything except yell at me all day.

Every time life gets a little (or a lot, in this case), there's always something just as bad or worse that happens to balance it out. Fucking laws of physics. Now I'm in a really shitty mood, I have nothing to look forward to except MAYBE Young Life on Monday if I'm lucky, and....ugh. I think my mom just called either my dad or my aunt and is now telling them how horrible I am to her.

Thank God for small things...if I didn't have Carolyn, I'd be suicidal, but instead, I'm just in a really shitty mood. And yes, that's an improvement. Well...there's always before school tomorrow, I guess...

APUSH homework time, if my mom doesn't, like, kill me before then. Life...is awesome, then sucks, then is awesome, then sucks again. Without Saturday, though, my weekend's going to SUCK ASS. I hope my mom's in a better mood by then...

I hope you all had a better day than I did. Love ya, Carolyn! And all of you are bright points in my otherwise shitty days...but no offense, but Carolyn's the brightest

]]> ~Tronfo http://Tronfo.deviantart.com/journal/6690108/ http://Tronfo.deviantart.com/journal/6690108/ Wed, 05 Oct 2005 19:41:51 PDT
So yeah, a few random notes. First of all...some of you might know Kenny. He came up to OH last year to visit me, and I went to see him over the summer. Just a slight warning: don't trust him. To basically sum things up...y'all think I'm a pervert, right? Pretty bad, too. Kenny is, like, a million times worse. He thinks he's a pimp because girls don't get mad at him when he gropes them and stuff, plus he's a complete douchebag to girls almost all the time (sounds familiar, eh? can't talk, I know, oh well). And he just randomly got drunk for no reason last week. Probably with his friends...so yeah. He's been my friend since middle school, but...he's the sort of person who, had I not known him for several years, I would probably want to beat the shit out of.

To make this easier to picture, imagine me. Now, imagine me not only SAYING perverted things, but actually doing them. Then imagine me acting like nothing happened and we're all a-okay with it and everything. I dunno, maybe that's cool with some of you. And I'll admit, he can be a really nice guy sometimes. That's why I'm not just, like, blocking him and never talking to him again. But, uh...I dunno. This has nothing to do with anything. And please, Carolyn (I think you're the only one who knows his s/n...), don't tell him I said this. It's just...I think some day, he's gonna end up getting some girl drunk, raping her, and bragging about it. And that's not really the sort of friend I'd like to have, y'know?

(this is when Katie and Meghann go *gasp* He actually has morals!)

On a more awesome note, DDR club tomorrow! I can't wait, it's gonna be SO fun!!!!1

omg footer ]]> ~Tronfo http://Tronfo.deviantart.com/journal/6671970/ http://Tronfo.deviantart.com/journal/6671970/ Mon, 03 Oct 2005 18:59:39 PDT
So yeah, fun stuff. If you gave me this random subscription, thanks a lot Leave a comment or something. Whee!

omg footer ]]> ~Tronfo http://Tronfo.deviantart.com/journal/6618748/ http://Tronfo.deviantart.com/journal/6618748/ Tue, 27 Sep 2005 16:57:04 PDT

Hee hee, just kidding about that last part. So yeah. In other news, I'm quitting my job because work creates a bajillion units of stress. Or something. Oh, and I have to go see a shrink (just calling him a shrink 'cause I can't remember the real term...psychologist? psychiatrist? who knows...) every week for a while now 'cause my mom and doctor are like "omg he cutx0red his arm" and spazzing out. Not really spazzing, but whatever, I'm fine now, they just won't admit it. Or something. And yes, even those crappy rants of doom are considered "fine" to me compared to how I was before....heh heh.

DDR Extreme 2 tomorrow!!!!! Because they didn't have it in today!!!!! I can't wait to not play it because of band!!!!! But DDR club got approved so I'll just show off on it then!!!!! It has a cover of Play That Funky Music!!!!! Exclamation points!!!!! ]]> ~Tronfo http://Tronfo.deviantart.com/journal/6566291/ http://Tronfo.deviantart.com/journal/6566291/ Wed, 21 Sep 2005 18:01:20 PDT
So basically, I'm gonna be alive for a while yet whether you like it or not (Sorry, Katie, not your lucky day). If you don't like it, blame Carolyn, not me.

Gotta go, Lost is starting. Whee, Lost! ]]> ~Tronfo http://Tronfo.deviantart.com/journal/6540963/ http://Tronfo.deviantart.com/journal/6540963/ Sun, 18 Sep 2005 20:56:40 PDT ~Tronfo http://Tronfo.deviantart.com/journal/6308502/ http://Tronfo.deviantart.com/journal/6308502/ Tue, 23 Aug 2005 16:47:51 PDT


--Goth--
Do you wear black makeup?: Nope, my face is stuff-free.
Do you own any black clothing?: A shirt or two...would be a lot more if I had the time and money, though.
Do you think about death often?: Pretty much all the time.
Do you want to die?: On and off.
Are you a social outcast?: I should be, but no.
Are you pale?: Yes, except during marching band season.
Do you like Hot Topic?: Their clothes are uncomfortable, so no.
Total YES: 3

--Skater Punk--
Can you skateboard? Nope.
Do you wear Vans?: Nice Skate Shoes (brand name)...even though they're for DDR.
Do you do stupid stuff with your friends?: Not really.
Do you get in trouble?: See above.
Do you listen to punk bands: I don't really listen to most music.
Do you have any piercings?: Nope.
Do you like/wear mohawks?: No. I have a mullet.
Total YES: 0.5

--Prep--
Do you say the word "like" alot: Yeah, I guess..
Do you shop at Abercrombie and Fitch?: NO FUCKING WAY.
Are the A&F models hot?: They are fucking retarded.
Rock music is bad, right?: "NO WAY YA BISH." ~akayashi ^^
Do you want to be in a sorority/fraternity: Not especially.
Into jocks/popular girls?: If they're hot....
Are/were you a football player?: Band 4 life!
Total YES: 1.5

--Hippie--
Is your hair long?: MULLET!!!!!!!!!!
Are you a vegetarian?: Naah.
Do you own a tye~dye shirt?: Nope.
Do you want peace?: Hell yeah!
Do you want to save the animals: Yep.
Do you think the war is unneccesary?: Yeah. Stupid Bush.
Total YES: 4

--Gangsta--
Are you from the ghetto?: Nope.
Do you own "bling bling"?: Not really...
Do you wear do-rags?: I wear a sweatband or a rising sun bandana (when I get it). So no.
Do you like hip-hop?: It makes me laugh.
Is Tupac truly the greatest rapper in the world?: A-buh?
Do you like afros?: Yeah
Have you ever said 'fo shizzle'?: Fo' shizzle!
Total YES: 3

--Emo--
Do you cry often?: Yeah.
Do you have an acoustic guitar?: I used to when I was a kid...
Are you emotional?: Much too emotional >.<
Do you like soft music: Yep.
Do people understand you?: Nope.
Do you write your own songs?: Nope.
Is your hair dyed dark? No, it's naturally dark ^^ I'd like it to be anime blue, though.
Do you cut? Myself? I did...maybe I'll take a needlessly depressing pic of my arm to post some day.
Total Yes: 4

--Jock--
Do you play sports? Tennis. And that doesn't count, because I suck.
Are they important to you?: No. Not at all.
Do you pick on the geeky kids?: I AM a geeky kid. I do pick on Fish, though, just because it's fun
Were you considered a bully by anyone? I hope not O_o
Was the person you bullied a total dork? No. And Isa...you're evil.
Total YES: .5

--Beach Bum--
Do you surf?: Nope.
Do you wear flip flops year-round?: Nizzope.
Is your hair shaggy?: I guess...maybe...
Do you wake up at 6 or before every morning?: I go to sleep at six.
Do you own any pairs of shorts?: Yeah. Shorts are teh pwnage.
Are you tan? From marching band.
Total YES: 2

--Geek--
Do you wear glasses?: Yep.
Do you get good grades?: Fuck yeah!
Do you use an inhaler?: Nope.
Do you stick pens and calculators into your shirt pockets? Pants pockets.
Does your mom pick out your clothes?: Nope.
Are you on the computer often?: 24/7, yo.
Do you ever get picked on?: Not really, even though I should.
Total YES: 3

SCORE:
Emo: 4
Hippie: 4
Geek: 3
Goth: 3
Gangsta: 3
Beach Bum: 2
Prep:1.5
Jock: 0.5
Skater Punk: 0.5


Well, then...looks like I'm a little bit of everything ^^ ]]> ~Tronfo http://Tronfo.deviantart.com/journal/6237514/ http://Tronfo.deviantart.com/journal/6237514/ Mon, 15 Aug 2005 19:35:29 PDT ~Tronfo http://Tronfo.deviantart.com/journal/5801906/ http://Tronfo.deviantart.com/journal/5801906/ Thu, 30 Jun 2005 12:58:56 PDT
1) Play a ton of Atelier Iris
2) Eat good food (Ted's Montana Grill, Original Pancake House, PIZZERIA UNO!!!!!!!!...etc.)
3) Do stupid summer reading
4) Become even MORE awesome at DDR
5) Learn Japanese so I can start to teach it to some of my friends

Yeah, that's right, I have this book on Japanese that I brought with me. I know a few people who are interested in learning it, so I figured I'd learn enough to teach 'em while I'm gone. I'd probably be better than most of the foreign language teachers in our school...sad, I know. And DDR-wise...playing it a mile up in the air should do wonders for my endurance when I get back to good ol' Ohio.

Well, I gotta go. Some lame show's playing on PBS, which means I'm probably gonna play some MegaMan instead. After I have more pizza. Damn good pizza up here. ]]> ~Tronfo http://Tronfo.deviantart.com/journal/5755804/ http://Tronfo.deviantart.com/journal/5755804/ Sat, 25 Jun 2005 18:11:06 PDT ~Tronfo