"Today is the first day of the rest of your life'?

Well, that's true of every day but one...

the day you die.

____________________

I woke up this morning, in a terrible mood.
My head hurt, my back ached, and I didn't want
to have to be up, awake, and responsible.
I went to get my nails done.
And was okay with waiting in line.
I was told I would be tended to in 5 minutes.
30 passed, and I was then told
that it would be another 45 before I would be seen.

So I left.

Because I was late for a concert.
A Breathe Carolina concert, which really rocked.
I saw my best friend, had a good time,
and I was in a little bit of a better mood.
I was tired, and hungry on the way home.
I stopped at the office to pick up some files.
I bitched about the traffic on the way through town.

And then it happened.

Now, I'm accustomed to seeing roadkill,
It's just something that happens.

I don't like it, but it happens.

But this time it was different.

I felt it, even as I saw it from 50 or so feet away.

As I grew closer, my heart sank...
And tears burst from my eyes...

Because it wasn't a opossum,
raccoon, or squirrel.


It was my Cat.


MY kittie.


Adolf.


The cat I had raised from 2 weeks old, abandoned by it's mother.
There, in the road, cold and alone, eyes glassed over.

I named him Adolf, because he had a little mustache,
resembling that of Hitler's. And when he purred as a kitten, it sounded like "Ja". He was too hilarious.
He was really lovey, and my dad and I called him sexy love muffin. Haha..
Every night he came to lay by my pillow, and like to nip at my ears when he wanted petting.

And he's gone...

I know you probably could care less about it, but I need to write it somewhere,
or else I'll scream it, I can't hold it in.

There's just..immense sadness. I feel heavy...

I spent the whole day bitching, taking LIFE for granted. Everything, not realizing how fucking lucky I am to have it all, and how it can be gone in a matter of seconds. And it took Adolf to wake me up. Admittedly, it was needed. But it was the worst fucking wake up call I've ever gotten.


I went back, to get his body.
I put him in a box, with his favorite blanket.
And I buried him under my tree, one I grew from a seed.

I miss him.
and I can't stop crying.

Such a little thing meant so much to me. I even took HIM for granted. My dear sweet Adolf.

And I feel so guilty, because, I saw him before I left today, and thought about putting him inside and I didn't. If I had, this wouldn't have happened to him. He didn't deserve that.

HE DIDNT FUCKING DESERVE IT!!!!
I'm so ANGRY.

You know? Why him?
why today?
Why not, 10 years from now, when he's lived his life, and had the time he deserved to be here, not under the fucking ground.

It's just not fucking fair.

Not fair at all.

And it's my fault.
_________________________


I'm so sorry Adolf.

Sweet cat
Precious creature.
You were so loved, shazi liebe, not just by me either.
You hold a special place in my heart, and always will.
Maybe you were just TOO sweet for this world.
You're in a better place now.
I guess it's selfish of me to wish you back here.

Rest in peace kitty.


I love you.



"Into paradise, may the angels lead you..."









I decided that I want to feature a Deviant that I really like every month. Lesser knowns who have some great stuff.
So I'd like to introduce you all to the April Deviant, ~omgxrad. She's a photographer, and a pretty talented one. Her pictures stood out to me, and I like the vintage feel they have. So go see her Gallery

~Bella