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Note Me | Gallery


OCTAVIA'S BACK ON PRAP! Woot! Anyways.

Ummm yeah so I lost my notebook for a while with my stories in it, but now I found it so I PROMISE PROMISE PROMISE that I'll have updates for at least two of my stories before Christmas rolls around lol....Well darlings, I've got to go, so yeah ttyl!

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Brushes by *gvalkyrie ]]> ~VampiraDracul http://VampiraDracul.deviantart.com/journal/28224838/ http://VampiraDracul.deviantart.com/journal/28224838/ Sun, 08 Nov 2009 18:39:41 PST
]]> ~VampiraDracul http://VampiraDracul.deviantart.com/journal/28192487/ http://VampiraDracul.deviantart.com/journal/28192487/ Sat, 07 Nov 2009 06:48:56 PST
I'm getting old. Tomorrow, I turn nineteen. God help us all. Hehehe. ^^

This is a pretty pointless entry.

Oh, I metish a boy. His name....will be....Wicked. He's...pretty much awesome. And lives in a different state. Sad. Lolz...Anyway...I talked to him for, oh, twoish hours yesterday...the day before? And four and a half today//last night. Hehehe. Yep. I know nothing romantic will happen, but it's nice to flirt with someone and know that, by some stroke of miracle, someone finds me worth flirting with and intelligent and is also intelligent and yeah. Anyways.

Umm that's about it for now. I'm going to go rape my father's cupboards and see if I can find some cereal to mow on. THANKS A FUCKING LOT, SWEETIE PIE! Lolz

]]> ~VampiraDracul http://VampiraDracul.deviantart.com/journal/27936319/ http://VampiraDracul.deviantart.com/journal/27936319/ Sat, 24 Oct 2009 07:33:31 PDT
More to come, soon hopefully, with Dani and October, as well as Wolf and Liah. I'm so sorry this took so long, but I've been busy//distracted lately. Also, I'll try to write the next Jiselle adventure. If there are any character ideas or story ideas you'd like me to pursue, let me know, I'll try to run with it and put it up as soon as I can. =]

And now, the irlifers//people who actually read what goes on in my life !

I'm getting...a shrink. I may already have stated this, if I did, sorry I didn't mean to be repetitive! And, I got my progress notes//intake sheet//plan//discharge sheet from the FIRST//LAST shrink I had. Good god his writing is atrocious! Some of the stuff made me laugh, some of it made me sad, but most of all, I regret not taking advantage of my therapist. So, some advice: if you have a shrink, therapist, psychologist, psychiatrist, whatever, UTILIZE THEM to the FULLEST EXTENT. Maybe, if I had done that three years ago, I wouldn't have ended up quite as fucked up as I am.

Advice on shrinks, though: if you are a minor, especially, watch what you say. This was one reason I didn't really talk to Buda. If you say anything about sexual abuse, physical abuse, illegal drug use, or that you imbue large quantities of alcohol often, they are required BY LAW to report it to someone. The abuse, to the police. Drugs probably coppers and parents. Alcohol, I think, just parental units. Most of what you say is confidential, but some of it, they have to report. Just an FYI. If you aren't a minor, the abuse thing still holds if they have enough information for it to matter, same with the drugs and if you're not 21 probably the same with the alcohol, and they may refer you to a detox program or something of the sort.

Enough of that, now. I'm in Waukesha at the moment, with the fam. Whoopdifreakindo. It's my grandparents' 50th wedding anniversary celebration. My father bought me a new dress and my parents [[mom chipped in]] bought me new shoes. I'll try to put pics up if I can, though in all honesty they'll probably JUST go on myspace and facebook since I don't really use dA for that, unless y'all want it up on here, then just drop me a comment or a note and I'll post here too. =]

I'm still looking for a job. If you have any suggestions and you live in my area [[you know who you are]] drop me a note, gimme a call, let me know.

Well I've got to go help Mama get dressed and get into gear myself, so I'll catch y'all on the flip side. Later!

]]> ~VampiraDracul http://VampiraDracul.deviantart.com/journal/27818848/ http://VampiraDracul.deviantart.com/journal/27818848/ Sat, 17 Oct 2009 15:26:20 PDT [link]

^ Watch it! It's fucking amazing! Yay Short Stack Xd ^

M'kay so as soon as I get my tat touched up and it heals, I'll take pics and show all of you. =] I love it, by the way, and think it looks amazing ^^ hehe.

OCTAVIA CALLED ME! WOOT!!!!! She's coming to visit in November, for like 5 days. So, it's going to be awesome, and I can't freaking wait!!!!!!!!! Plus I might get to see V in November as well, which would rock. =] And Octavia's coming back for good in December. WOOTNESSSSS! Hahah anyway.

Well I gotta get going, because I need to go dress shopping, because my grandparents' 50th wedding anniversary is next weekend and my father said I need something that looks good to him, not just to me lol...ttyal =]

]]> ~VampiraDracul http://VampiraDracul.deviantart.com/journal/27648003/ http://VampiraDracul.deviantart.com/journal/27648003/ Thu, 08 Oct 2009 10:15:10 PDT
I'm sick of being people's "only reason to live" or having them "need it to be me." Is this selfish? Maybe. Probably. Whatever. I don't like this emotional responsibility. Especially when I still feel for V, and you know what? I don't even know anymore. If I want a monogomous relationship. Maybe I'm polyamorous. Who knows? God I feel like shit....


I'm going now. bye.

]]> ~VampiraDracul http://VampiraDracul.deviantart.com/journal/27527545/ http://VampiraDracul.deviantart.com/journal/27527545/ Thu, 01 Oct 2009 18:28:33 PDT
]]> ~VampiraDracul http://VampiraDracul.deviantart.com/journal/27075426/ http://VampiraDracul.deviantart.com/journal/27075426/ Mon, 07 Sep 2009 13:22:16 PDT

AUGH THIS FUCKIGN SUCKS!

]]> ~VampiraDracul http://VampiraDracul.deviantart.com/journal/26817948/ http://VampiraDracul.deviantart.com/journal/26817948/ Tue, 25 Aug 2009 14:00:26 PDT

I'm tired.


2.5 hours of sleep and I have to work in an hour.


Fun shit.



Anywho. I keep forgetting to bring that story with me when I go to use the computer. I'll put it in my wallet, so next time I have access I'll be able to just whip it out and type it up. =]


Well I can't really think right now, since my brain seems to be lacking rest or some shit, so yeah, I'ma pzo. <3s dudes.


Love you V.


I MISS HEATHER.





AND JESUS H. FUCKING CHRIST I HATE FLIES! AUGH! I WANT TO KILL THEM! ALL OF THEM! ESPECIALLY THE TWO THAT THINK ITS' FUN TO KEEP FUCKING LANDING ON ME! AUGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
/minirant

]]> ~VampiraDracul http://VampiraDracul.deviantart.com/journal/26721528/ http://VampiraDracul.deviantart.com/journal/26721528/ Thu, 20 Aug 2009 19:55:25 PDT

BUT I have to work in 2 hours and got lots left to do, SO, lates darlings.

]]> ~VampiraDracul http://VampiraDracul.deviantart.com/journal/26406522/ http://VampiraDracul.deviantart.com/journal/26406522/ Wed, 05 Aug 2009 16:21:06 PDT
Lately I've been obsessed with Fable Two. It's actually a pretty good game. Which is shocking, because I pretty much only play party games haha....woot?

Went to a local event with sweetie-pie....last weekend?...it was fun. Random Black Dude hit on me. RBD never called me back. Oh well haha probably just wanted my number to see if he could get it. HIS LOSS.

I'm more confused...than ever...EVER!...about V. Maybe it's time to start the process of getting over him. Even if I did that with Cadet and it took me like four fucking years. So, I should be over V by the time I'm twenty-two. Maybe.

Well gonna head out now, pz fuckerz!

]]> ~VampiraDracul http://VampiraDracul.deviantart.com/journal/26313286/ http://VampiraDracul.deviantart.com/journal/26313286/ Sat, 01 Aug 2009 07:32:15 PDT
As of late, I've been dwelling on the past, a lot, hence my most recent poem. It's...difficult.

Even with that distraction...and if you don't know my past, you have no idea how huge of a distraction that is...I can't help thinking about V. Probably more than is healthy. By which I mean, an awful awful lot. I miss him so much...I just hope he can forgive everything I've done. Maybe not today, or tomorrow, or even the next day. But someday. And I really hope that he will, eventually, take me back, even if he has an awesome new girlfriend. Cheese alert: without me, he's just aweso. Okay I'm done haha...but seriously, I miss him, a lot.

It was like someone stabbed me when I found out that he really DID have a new girl, and that he was going to go live with her. All I could think was, "so much for the future I keep dreaming of." Most of you won't understand that, but he will. We talked about it, a bit; not a whole lot, maybe, but a bit.

I love you, V.

]]> ~VampiraDracul http://VampiraDracul.deviantart.com/journal/26290268/ http://VampiraDracul.deviantart.com/journal/26290268/ Fri, 31 Jul 2009 04:12:51 PDT
Honestly? I think I'm going to be sick.

]]> ~VampiraDracul http://VampiraDracul.deviantart.com/journal/26286281/ http://VampiraDracul.deviantart.com/journal/26286281/ Thu, 30 Jul 2009 21:49:45 PDT
I'm living with Cadet, Water Lilies and the Ginger now. It's going okay, I guess. Nothing too exciting.

Finally got a job! I work at a pizza parlor, Toppers Pizza. It's pretty fun, actually. Not only do I take orders, I get to make the food too...the skins, which is what we call the crusts, are fun, even though I'm not good at tossing them yet.

Well other than that, I'll be getting a new phone hopefully pretty quick here, so my mom can have her phone back. I'll be sure to somehow get everyone that number before the switch, and let you all know what date it'll be officially mine.

I'm trying to work on some more stories, but it's kind of difficult, seeing as I don't really have time to write. Most of the time I can barely hear myself think haha. But I'll try to pound one out for you.

That's all for now, adieu...

]]> ~VampiraDracul http://VampiraDracul.deviantart.com/journal/26030517/ http://VampiraDracul.deviantart.com/journal/26030517/ Sat, 18 Jul 2009 17:32:56 PDT
Taking care of Dolly this weekend, rents are away at some cabin or other. Daddy wants to get back with Mommy it makes me laugh.

Got a job at Topper's Pizza woot woot I start Monday or Tuesday.

I miss V. Too bad i can'teven call him he's out of town. Graargh.

Well gonna go now buh bye

]]> ~VampiraDracul http://VampiraDracul.deviantart.com/journal/25745835/ http://VampiraDracul.deviantart.com/journal/25745835/ Sun, 05 Jul 2009 01:35:12 PDT

We went to Flogging Molly at Summerfest today and OH MY GOD IT WAS FUCKING AMAZING! Aaaahhh! I loveded it! I really really really raelly really really really really really really really really really really REALLY wanna go again next year. Wootnesss


But gotta get going, time for bed n shit n dealin with some d-to tha-rama.

]]> ~VampiraDracul http://VampiraDracul.deviantart.com/journal/25571904/ http://VampiraDracul.deviantart.com/journal/25571904/ Fri, 26 Jun 2009 16:57:43 PDT
Grad party tomorrow. It's going to be...interesting, seeing how one of my aunts is coming, and I've basically disowned her. Hm. She must not've gotten my FB message. Oh well whatever. Still should be a good time.

is forbidden from seeing me. Gill and Rae are fucking cuntfaced bitches. Fucking whores. I swear to god they'd be happier if one of them grew a cock. Anyways.

Still having major issues finding a job. Cross your fingers for me!

But I'm off to go help my mother make the sheet cakes for my party tomorrow, so yeah....bai.

P.S. Anyone know how much it would cost to replace the screen of a Kodak easyshare V-somethingorother? Mine's completely annhilated.

]]> ~VampiraDracul http://VampiraDracul.deviantart.com/journal/25301156/ http://VampiraDracul.deviantart.com/journal/25301156/ Sun, 14 Jun 2009 01:03:07 PDT
Need a job. Desperately.


Thought processes becoming more and more strange, disconnected, reconnected, jumbled, organised, patternless, structured. Losing it? Possibly.


Welcome to creativity.

Welcome to my head.

My mind.

My sactuary, my disaster, my rave, my cell.


Welcome, my darlings, to hell.

Don't trip, dear Alice, or you may never make it back up the rabbit hole alive.

]]> ~VampiraDracul http://VampiraDracul.deviantart.com/journal/25090643/ http://VampiraDracul.deviantart.com/journal/25090643/ Tue, 02 Jun 2009 14:45:53 PDT
I love that boy too much for my own good.

]]> ~VampiraDracul http://VampiraDracul.deviantart.com/journal/24876757/ http://VampiraDracul.deviantart.com/journal/24876757/ Thu, 21 May 2009 16:12:01 PDT
]]> ~VampiraDracul http://VampiraDracul.deviantart.com/journal/24824917/ http://VampiraDracul.deviantart.com/journal/24824917/ Mon, 18 May 2009 15:30:54 PDT

If I don't front $300 by next week Friday, I can't walk//don't graduate, until it's paid [[which means I'll graduate, but not walk. Yay. Fuckers.]]


If I don't front another $200 by the time I pay the $300, I won't be able to get my other 1/2 science cred. on my HS transcript and therefore will have to take a tech school class or something to go to college next Spring.


My father made me cry. Multiple times. Yesterday and today.


If I don't find a book I returned to the library [[they lost it, but apparently it's my fault]] or come up with the money to pay for it [[helLO, poor here!]] they'll issue me a $185 citation.



fmlhXc



RSVP to my grad party, kthxbai.

]]> ~VampiraDracul http://VampiraDracul.deviantart.com/journal/24745991/ http://VampiraDracul.deviantart.com/journal/24745991/ Wed, 13 May 2009 21:45:31 PDT


I'm gonna be in Point this weekend, hit me up. I'll have the phone.


God I can't wait to move back down!!!!


Grad party is June 27th. Let me know if you're gonna show. Bring spraypaint. =]

]]> ~VampiraDracul http://VampiraDracul.deviantart.com/journal/24694444/ http://VampiraDracul.deviantart.com/journal/24694444/ Sun, 10 May 2009 21:01:10 PDT I'll be fine...maybe...


School sucks. I'm not gonna finish...god if I don't get to go to UWSP next fall I'm going to cry

Science SUCKS

Charter school thinger SUCKS

I'm on my last smoke, i.e. my last stress-coping-mechanism which SUCKS



V visited, which was AWESOME, but now he's gone so bring on the depression/panic attacks/uber stress/anxiety attacks


Augh I don't know what to write this isn't helping like it usually does...


Idr if I said this but *my* kitten died. The black one Kadia had. Lame.

The other three left almos have their eyes completely open which is good.


I'm modifying this green dress I have so it'll actually FIT my boobs, I'm going to add elastic so the top will stay up [[I made it strapless]] &&add some more colour to it, possibly but in more petticoat stuff. We'll see.


I'ma go panic some more now. pz.

]]> ~VampiraDracul http://VampiraDracul.deviantart.com/journal/24631326/ http://VampiraDracul.deviantart.com/journal/24631326/ Thu, 07 May 2009 08:03:45 PDT

I am SO fucking sick of science and HS and just all of it. While I really really really wanna go to college, I'm starting to think I should just NOT. Buttt I really really really really really reallyreally raelly really really really want to! *sigh* We'll see.

V's dog got put down today. Lameness.


Prom is this weekend. Woo freakin hoo. I'm altering Shorty's dress for her [[adding straps &&ossibly letting it out a little bit]]. Yay. Hopefully V will be visiting this weekend but idk I guess we'll find out tomorrow.


Well I'ma get going nothin else to write.

]]> ~VampiraDracul http://VampiraDracul.deviantart.com/journal/24522943/ http://VampiraDracul.deviantart.com/journal/24522943/ Thu, 30 Apr 2009 22:57:40 PDT
One black one, which I'm keeping.

One tabby one that looks like Kadia, which Violiner has called.

Three orange tabbies, yet to be spoken for.
So open your mouths, kids! =]


Nimrod is confusing me.

V is confusing me.

Cadet is...idk.

Forbidden Darkness is just weird, and I'm getting confused about him too....huhm.



SO yeah. Prom is May 9th for us, but I probably won't go. Don't see the point.

I'm singing in "Butternut Idol" this friday. woo. 'm gonna sing "Imaginary" by Evanescence. SHould be full of giggles. Lolz

I've been having MAJOR mood swings lately, but I'm hoping they'll just go away on their own. Make my life easy! haha.

Can't fuckinggg WAIT to move back!!! I need boxes though....hmm.


[[grad]] Party's gonna be announced FOR SURE in the next couple days, gotta talk to mah faja. I need volunteers to help buy spraypaint &&ainter's tape &&whatnot.


PZO MOFOS!

]]> ~VampiraDracul http://VampiraDracul.deviantart.com/journal/24490275/ http://VampiraDracul.deviantart.com/journal/24490275/ Wed, 29 Apr 2009 00:35:11 PDT

I left out the "requirements to forward" blahblahblah bit


+Kiss on the stomach = "I'm ready"
+Kiss on the Forehead = "I hope we're together forever"
+Kiss on the Ear = "You're my everything"
+Kiss on the Cheek = "We're friends"
+Kiss on the Hand = "I adore you"
+Kiss on the Neck = "we belong together"
+Kiss on the Shoulder = "I want you"
+Kiss on the Lips = "I love you"

What the gesture means...
+Holding Hands = "we definitely love each other"
+Slap on the Butt = "That's mine"
+Holding on tight = "I don't want to let go"
+Looking into each other's Eyes = "I just plain love you"
+Playing with Hair = "Tell me you love me"
+Arms around the Waist = "I love you too much to let go"
+Laughing while Kissing = "I am completely comfortable with you"
+picking someone up off their feet = "that they love them fully and would do anything for them"

--Advice--
+ Dont ask for a kiss, take one
+If you were thinking about someone while reading this,
you're definitely in Love.

]]> ~VampiraDracul http://VampiraDracul.deviantart.com/journal/24456566/ http://VampiraDracul.deviantart.com/journal/24456566/ Mon, 27 Apr 2009 02:56:19 PDT

I was literally JUST overwhelmed by a sudden wave of depression and just complete hopelessness.

For some reason it just seems like no matter what I do, I lose. Always. Even though we had some MAJOR issues, I care/d for V, and I lost him to some girl named Molly. Now, he wants to come visit me...and bring her. He wants to take me to prom as friend...and bring her with. Yes, I shouldn't care. I mean, we never got to see each other, and he never called, and I never called, and he was never online, and we all know I'm online too much for my own good. But I still - stupid as this is of me - miss him. I'm not a jealous person. I feel no jealousy towards this Molly girl. I just feel...rejected. Crushed. Alone. Depressed. Useless. Unwanted.

I had hoped Yuugure still liked me, but of course he doesn't. Nimrod says he does, but he lives in Canada and already has a gf who lives in TX, so that really doesn't matter does it? Cadet doesn't care for me in that way. I'm starting to doubt anyone ever will. I don't think V even did, I mean, two days after we broke up he already had someone else. And he's happy with her. Which is good, he should be, but still...how can you supposedly love someone the way he said he loved me, and just get over them that quickly?

Fuck me, I'm actually crying. I can't stand it. Crying just sucks, and I feel so vulnerable and just...I can't even describe it. Like nothing is ever going to be worth it, and I'm never going to be worth anything. Which is honestly probably true...

Try as hard as I can, I can't even keep up my facade of happy peppy hyper Toby right now. I'm sure I will once I get to school, but whatever. That's three hours away.

Sadly, the only comfort I have at the moment - and it isn't even that comforting - is smoking. Yay, health. Fuck health. Every time I eat I feel like a fat pig. I hate looking at myself. The only thing I can stand to see is my face, and sometimes even that disgusts me. Someone explain this to me, please? I have no reasons to be unhappy, or to feel so hurt. It's good of V to have moved on, I'm going back to everyone I care about [[most everyone...]] after I graduate, I get to go to university...what's wrong with me?

It's really too bad I can't find my razorblades. Well it's probably a good thing. Then again, I doubt I'd do it anyway...I'm too much of a pansy now. Yes, I'm probably too scared to cut myself. And that's one of the few things that used to help me deal with this feeling, this emptiness, this...whatever it is.

Seriously, please, what's the matter with me?? I was perfectly fine like an hour ago, and then out of nowhere...this...

I was even happy earlier! I was content with how I looked, set on trying to improve myself...confident about my new haircut, motivated to be better at being me, I could even honestly say that I had some self-confidence for once, that I liked myself at that time. Where did it go?

I tire of this. Of everything. I wish it would just go away.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?

I'm going to go, I can't think of anything more to write, and this isn't really helping. Tears keep blurring my vision as it is, so this is pointless anyway.

Just like everything about me.

Pointless.

]]> ~VampiraDracul http://VampiraDracul.deviantart.com/journal/24437733/ http://VampiraDracul.deviantart.com/journal/24437733/ Sun, 26 Apr 2009 00:53:30 PDT
I feel okay about the break with V, maybe we'll end up together at some point in the future, but as of now I feel it was the right choise. Apparently he's over it, as his sister said he's spending the weekend at his gf's house and DUH I pretty much just broke up with him. Oh well.

I know that Nimrod likes me, but, as it seems with ANYONE who has romantic interest in me, lives nowhere near me. Everyone who likes me lives miles away, and anyone I like is the same deal or doesn't like me. Yay, life.

So the whole PROM!!!!! thing is kind of depressing. I feel like high school is going to be over, and I'm going to have missed all the good memories everyone else will have. Ah well. Bring on the Uni years.

Kadia hasn't had her kittens yet. She's actually on my lap right now, surruptitiously hinting for me to pet her haha. I do so love my cat, &&I can't WAIT to have one of her kittens for my own, not to mention the cat I'm hopefully trading Octavia for.

There are several new obsessions for me in the music department. As for personal creativity, I'm still obsessed with acrylic painting and charcoal and photography and writing and whatnot. Woo.

As I've said all the other times I've broken up with someone I'm probably gonna be single for a while. Usually, I do okay like that. Craving a physically and emotionally intimate relationship will, however, start to get to me again. Hopefully it can wait until Uni, where I'll meet the man of my dreams and everything will be wonderful. Or until I'm thrown back into the lap of a former lover, and everything will work the way it should. We shall see.

Lately I've considered going straight edge, BUT I like alcohol and I like smoking and everyone knows I'm probably going to end up turning into pothead after I try it. So. Screw that. Haha.

I'm going to church with my friend Shorty in...5? hours. It's a non-denominational thing. But whatever. Met the pastor today, and the youth group leader person. They seemed nice. We talked for probably an hour or two about religion and my theories and their faith. Props to them, they didn't deny the Pagan influences in Christianity, and explained in a rather refreshing way about crosses in Christianity, which was nice. Still explained away logic with faith though, which was a bit annoying, but that's JESUSFAITHNESS for you. Defo kudos to them though.

My back has been KILLING me lately. I'll get over it. Just needs a good crack, I'm sure, so it can wait until I get back to Point, where I know some top-notch back crackers. =] Speaking of Point, I graduate May 30, I want to have my party the 31st of May or the 5th or 6th of June. Feedback, please! I want people there, so I need to know the best dates for this.

That's it for now. Don't forget to give me feedback on my party date &&whatnot. Kthxbai.

]]> ~VampiraDracul http://VampiraDracul.deviantart.com/journal/24418294/ http://VampiraDracul.deviantart.com/journal/24418294/ Fri, 24 Apr 2009 21:12:33 PDT
Found a new band on vampirefreaks called "Deluded", they're fucking awesome.



Might be coming down for SPASH graduation, probably can't go to the ceremony though since I'd need a ticket. Ah well.

Graduation is May 30 at 2pm at Butternut HS. Come if you want. Grad party is going to be probably the first or second week of June, at my father's new house. I'll post a bulletin when I figure out the specifics, but like I said I'm gonna need volunteers again. =]

Broke up with V. He took it well-ish, I think. apparently he already has a gf so WHATEVERR lolz.

]]> ~VampiraDracul http://VampiraDracul.deviantart.com/journal/24283558/ http://VampiraDracul.deviantart.com/journal/24283558/ Fri, 17 Apr 2009 00:03:32 PDT [link] [link]

Please understand my reasons for not speaking today. I am partisipating in the Day of Silence (DOS), a national youth movement bringing attention to the silence faced by lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people and their allies. My deliberate silence echoes that silence, which is caused by anti-LGBT bullying, name-calling, and harassment. I believe that ending teh silence is the first step toward building awareness and making a commitment ot address these injustices. Think about the voices you are not hearing today.
What are you going to do to end the Silence?

]]> ~VampiraDracul http://VampiraDracul.deviantart.com/journal/24228320/ http://VampiraDracul.deviantart.com/journal/24228320/ Mon, 13 Apr 2009 20:14:55 PDT
]]> ~VampiraDracul http://VampiraDracul.deviantart.com/journal/24190591/ http://VampiraDracul.deviantart.com/journal/24190591/ Sat, 11 Apr 2009 21:45:34 PDT
Or through the town of BUMfuckmiddleofNOWHERE. Whatevs.

SO V came over lastttt...Wednesday. Yes. &&he spent Thursday night at Adam's house, then came back to my house &&went home today. So I spent like threeish days with him. Yeah UM anyways....heh


I feel like writing but I can't come up with anywhere to start. Same with my art: I want to draw or paint or both or SOMETHING, but I just can't START it. YOU KNOW I COULD FINISH IT! Nukka. Anyways...Among my other failures include my COMPLETE lack of willpower. I'm not hungry. At all. &&yet, I find myself stuffing my face with hotpockets [[yes, plural, sickening isn't it?]] &&strawberry shortcake rolls [[again, plural]] with a can of off-brand sprite mixed with blackberry juice &&a couple blackberries to garnish it [[okay, so the soda bit is maybe okay...but still!]]. I feel like such a pig! Not to mention I have *no* motivation at ALL to even try to exercise..as in, I'm a lazy cunt, get over it. HAH. &&I'm supposed to be able to wear a bikini, in California's standard of the words "wear a bikini," by summer. Wonderfuckingful.

ANYWAYS. My cat Kadia is pregnant...so if anyone I actually see irl wants a kitty? Let me know. When I move back in June I can bring them down with me or whatever. GOOD HOMES ONLY. If I know or think you abuse animals? Don't bother asking, you're lucky I even talk to you.

Now for the "important" stuff. I have two graduations, one for PCS and one for bumfuckmiddleofnowhere, but only one party k? If you want to come, that's fine; note me &&I'll tell you the dates for the bumfuckmiddleofnowhere one or whatevr. I don't know if I'm having my party up here or down there yet, but I do know this: While yes, it is going to be a grad party, it is also going to be a spray-paint-my-van party. These are the requirements:

1. You MUST wear clothes you don't care about. If you end up getting paint on your favourite shirt, too bad &&I DON'T want to hear about it. You have been forewarned.

2. I will be providing *some* paint..IF I CAN. If not, I'll be asking people to bring their own. I'd like some volunteers for this, should the need arise. Also, if you want a specific colour? Bring it yourself. I make no promises as to what will be available.

3. I'm going to be covering my windows, windsheild, bumperstickers and head/taillights with painter's tape. Take it off &&spray paint the covered areas, you will be paying to replace said window, indsheild, bumpersticker or head/taillight. Otherwise, everything's free game: go nuts.

4. Since I don't have everyone's addresses &&hone numbers, I'm asking those of you who know me to go to people you KNOW I know &&would want at my party [[ask me if you're not sure, or note me for an off-the-top-of-my-head list]] for either their e-mail, or if they don't have one, their address. PLEASE. I really need your help with this one, guys!

5. This is PROBABLY - this does not mean DEFINITELY! - going to be another sign-up-to-bring-a-food-drink-or-plate/cup-item party. I'm not TOTALLY sure, but it probably will be. &&again, like I said, I'm not sure *where* this will be, but in all honesty I'm hedging toward in Point. That way, fewer people have to drive to get to it. Or maybe I'll have two, who knows.

That's all I've got for now, so yeah.

In other news, this last Thursday was kind of fun...as in, it sucked. Horribly. Everyone thought I was pregnant because I've been feeling nauseous, I threw up [[in the "morning", i.e. right after I woke up...big fucking deal]], and I've been fatigued. Guess wht? I'M NOT PREGNANT. I have an infection, so stop planning my baby shower. God.

Anywho, that's all I have to say for now anyways, so I'm going to get going. Pz.


P.S. Okay so I haven't read your whole journal yet, ~sweetie-pie5575, but I want to say this: My titles are out there, but they do have something to do with the entry. Usually it's either a line from a song in my head, that I'm listening to, something going on around me at the time, &&is almost always connected in some way to the actual entry. It might not make sense to you, but my brain makes connections strangely; today's, for example. I heard a siren. The lights accompanying a siren spin. Instead of putting "spinning through my head" I put "soul," because 1. it sounds better and 2. I figured since it started with 2 s's might as well at least end with one, it ties together. So, that's how I come up with titles. Lol. G'night all, pz.

]]> ~VampiraDracul http://VampiraDracul.deviantart.com/journal/24063408/ http://VampiraDracul.deviantart.com/journal/24063408/ Sat, 04 Apr 2009 18:57:01 PDT


Don't bother asking, I probably won't tell you, esp. in a public forum like dA.










P.S. I. FUCKING. SUCK.
























]]> ~VampiraDracul http://VampiraDracul.deviantart.com/journal/24020595/ http://VampiraDracul.deviantart.com/journal/24020595/ Thu, 02 Apr 2009 09:47:13 PDT
V IS COMING TO VISIT ME TOMORROW!!!!!! I have to clean my room....LOL D: But yeah I'm excited ^^ It's been wayyyy too long since I saw him. Yeah.

I really really really really really reallyreallyraelly really really really realyl need a job. Heh typos...Ohhhh wellllll....OMG I GRADUATE FROM PCS ON MAY 22 AND FROM BUTTERNUT HI ON MAY 30 HOLY SHIT lol woo frickin hoo. I'm considering making my gown look RIDICULOUSLY odd by like painting it or something? But I think my mom would rather I looked more traditional so I'll just leave it as is lolz

Well I'm gonna get going I only have like 40ish minutes left to finish transferring my poems to word, then I'll start putting them on dA. ktxhbai.


p.s. texting is the sex.

]]> ~VampiraDracul http://VampiraDracul.deviantart.com/journal/23978498/ http://VampiraDracul.deviantart.com/journal/23978498/ Tue, 31 Mar 2009 00:12:28 PDT
Soooo yah. Was in Point n Milwaukee this last weekend, dint get to see Necro or Angel but oh well, hung out with JesusFreak, Otavia, Choconilla, WizardFait, Handerson...yeah. Umm met some of JF's friends, they were okay lolzz. Got some of my jewellery put on consignment at Kindred Spirit, that means I keep 65% of the moolah if/when it sells, she keeps 35%. Yeah.

I hurt V really bad today....Well, I think I did. He said he's fine but I feel horrible about it...see, we're together yeah? And I made out with WF this weekend...Which...well duh obviously not good cuz that means I cheated on V an I feel horrible about it but idk what to do to make it up to him. This is why I should just stay single, that way when I freaking want pysical intimacy I can do whatever &¬ have to worry about hurting people. Even though I already felt horribl, MM made me feel even worse. I ended up setting my status to appear offline just so I wouldn't have to deal with his abuse. Okay, I get it, I fucking suck, shut the hell up...

Dint go to school today, I was sleeping again. I'm probably going to end up failing sociology because of it, idk I hope not...

Feel like SHIT as far as looks too, my self-esteem is basically non-existent at this point. I gained weight, I weigh around 200lbs now and it honestly makes me sick, if I gain much more my belly will stick out past my tits and I'll end up with a bootydo. For thoseof you who don't know, here: "She's got a bootydo. What's a bootydo? That means her stomach sticks out further than her booty do!" Ha ha ha. At least it's getting warmer, so I can take walks &¬ have to wear half a million layers of clothes.

Speaking of it getting warmer, coming April 15 our gas &&electric is getting turned off because we can't afford to pay any of the bills. Idk what we're gonna do, we'll have to not buy any food that requires cooking or being kept cold or frozen. Yay joblessness. If we could find the turn off notice, we could get enegy assistance, but at this point it's lost so yeah that rocks.

UGH I've never cheated on anyone before, holy shit why do people do this? GOD I FEEL LIKE CRAP UGGGGHHHH!

Stressed because of everything, I think I have CFD [[chroni fatigue disorder]] &&wouldn't really surprise me, that would explain why I've been sleeping for 14 hours at a time &&ready to sleep again like 3 hours after Iw ake up. Which basically means I have to go to sleep at like....5pm just to wake up in time for school n shit. Loverly.

FUCK MY LIFEEEEEEEE.

I just really can't wait to go to college and get out of this fucking town and get to see V whenever I want to and get a job so I actually feel useful and maybe get the motivation to stop being a fat lazy ugly bitch and sell some of my jewellery and get a bike so I bike places instead of drive.....................



...ynnufneetonstidabostucottnawylleari...

WHATEVERRRRRRRRRRRRRR bye.

]]> ~VampiraDracul http://VampiraDracul.deviantart.com/journal/23911129/ http://VampiraDracul.deviantart.com/journal/23911129/ Fri, 27 Mar 2009 03:47:31 PDT
-------------------------------------------

Untitled

Untitled

Realiztion hits, like a blow to my gut
Never were you there
And now I doubt you ever cared
Don't know how to cope;
How can I help them when I can't help me?
My heart is too numb to feel
Everything is broken
Thoughts are sinking in
Like a ship into the ocean, unwanted and surreal;
The only reality I know
How could I have been so blind, not to see?
My mind is too numb to reason
Fear, denial, betrayal, pain
Passing through my soul, like ghosts in the wind
Nothing is tangible
It's all a tangled, ratty mess
Only inside of me does this tempest rage
Breaking the surface very briefly
Cracking this mask, like you cracked my heart
A shattered illusion lies now at my toes
I have no direction;
There is no direction
Merely numbness, consuming, controlling
Coping, now, is my world

-------------------------------------------------

Ooookay so. I'm driving to Point in....well probably a couple hours if I can, the only problem is if my mom is awake or not and if my dad doesn't answer the phone I'll have to wait. No, I didn't wake up this early, I just haven't slept yet. Yay me. LOL D: Sooo yeah.

I won't actually be in Point this weekend, what's happening is my father, brothers, grandparents and I are driving to Milwaukee to celebrate Christmas [[yes, we're late, we got fogged out in December]] and March birthdays. This means a hotel, swimming pool, yadda yadda...but I have no suit. Vunderbar. Ah well.

Friday I hope to see Octavia, buttt sometime while I'm in Milwaukee I will hopefully FINALLY get to see Angel and Necro, I have my fingers crossed! Every time we've made plans so far, it's fallen through. Lucky us. I'm going to be calling them at a more decent time [[i.e. not quarter to six in the freakin morning]] to see if we can set something up. Woot!

Also, in other news, I'm back with V again. I know, I know, I complain about him a lot and whatever, but for some reason I'm stuck on him. I will spend two seconds on this little sad bit: I am wondering if Cadet ever even actually cared about me because I thought about it and it doesn't seem like it. Now that I've allowed myself that depression bit, WE'RE DONE DON'T TALK ABOUT IT THANK YOU VERY MUCH I'D LIKE TO NOT THINK ABOUT IT.

Well I've got to get going, I've got packing to do, a shower to take, and some calls to make so I know I can leave when I want to. Talk to you allz later. =]

P.S. I've started smoking. A bit regularly, actually...Going to try to quit though.

]]> ~VampiraDracul http://VampiraDracul.deviantart.com/journal/23877056/ http://VampiraDracul.deviantart.com/journal/23877056/ Wed, 25 Mar 2009 03:25:39 PDT
Dint go to school today becauseI failed to wake up, suprise surprise. I really suck at this whole "morning" thing.

I desperately need to lose weight and become SLENDER by summer. My aunt is going to buy me clothes. Yes, she's actually bribing me with clothes to get in shape. Though it probably won't happen cuz I'm a lazy fucktard but whatever.

Idk what else to write. It's five thirty in the morning and I'm just trying to stay awake untilschool, so that I actualyl GO today. yay me.


Whateverbye.

]]> ~VampiraDracul http://VampiraDracul.deviantart.com/journal/23777192/ http://VampiraDracul.deviantart.com/journal/23777192/ Thu, 19 Mar 2009 09:29:49 PDT
I'M COMING TO POINT THIS WEEKEND HIT ME UP BITCHES!!!! Gonna for sure see Octavia, she still has some of my clothes lolz &&Gotta see FC because I'm borrowing his tassle to graduate. &&Gotta see Choconilla because I promised, plus he might let me *keep* a tassle haha....Also promised to see Cadet. Yeah, this weekend's gonna be busy, if you don't have the cell number call Octavia or send me a note.

Gotta go though supposed to be actually working heh...



P.S. The eating/drinking is because I'm chewing on my lips lolz

]]> ~VampiraDracul http://VampiraDracul.deviantart.com/journal/23686594/ http://VampiraDracul.deviantart.com/journal/23686594/ Sat, 14 Mar 2009 00:05:36 PDT
We found another dog on our porch, male, BIG dog. Black, with some tan on the face and floppy ears. Shorter hair, I'm not sure...he's in my room atm because I dint want him to freeze =\ I don' tthink mom will let us keep this one though.

Ugh well I'm just really depressed and tired and feeling particularly shitty in the self-esteem dept. at the moment so I'm gonna head. Maybe sleep, I donno....my bros are coming up for their spring break to morrow, can't let them or mom know I'm depressed &&feel like shit =\ That would be BAD. pzo all



P.S. yes i'm still failing forensic science. go me. no i don't have a job yes we're still living on food stamps &&idk how we're paying rent i think my dad may have something to do with it...idk...yeah. fun shit. =\

]]> ~VampiraDracul http://VampiraDracul.deviantart.com/journal/23504827/ http://VampiraDracul.deviantart.com/journal/23504827/ Tue, 03 Mar 2009 10:19:53 PST ay our lot rent. In order to come down to register for classes for UWSP next year I'm going to have to borrow money from my father. This just totally sucks in general. Happy fucking 2009. Between trying to find a job or any way to pay for life, really, and trying to figure out how to pass science [[I'm missing so many assignments now it's just overwhelming &&lus I think forensic science is retarded so that doesn't help at all]] I'm beyond stressed atm. Go fucking figure. To top it all off, Cadet is still mad at me, even though I didn't even do anything. It's wonderful to lose one of the people closest to your heart right when everything else starts going wrong, innit? I wish I knew how he's justifying this, I already explained that I wasn't talking about TBGrl, he was the only one I said anything to &&I only said it b/c he was thinking about dating her. Fine, hold it against me: keep this up and I probably *will* start talking shit about her. OMG BUTTERNUT IS GONNA HATE HER. 'Cause nobody in Point talks to me anyway! Last I checked, Octavia's grounded, but it doesn't matter anyway b/c Cadet said he's ignoring her too. Wonderful, isn't life just fucking GRAND?!?!??!?!?!!? No job, no money, no Cadet, no science, no college. fml. Guess my fucking fascist was right, TECH SCHOOL FOR ME. Don't get me wrong there's nothing wrong with tech school but I wanted to prove him and his condescending asshole self wrong &&get into college. I got in, but SURPRISE! I'm going to get my acceptance rejected. Then I won't even have any sort of way to pay for shit, 'cause I'll be working my fucking ass off trying to pass classes &&ay for school. I guess you get more grants &&Shit if you go to college than if you go to tech school, so I'm basically fucked now. But hey, you know whatever. Gotta go though, time for lunch. Might as well gorge myself, I'm getting fatter by the second with how I'm eating. I thoguht I'd never eat my emotions again, looks like I was wrong HAHA YOU FAT UGLY BITCH! /rant

]]> ~VampiraDracul http://VampiraDracul.deviantart.com/journal/23452184/ http://VampiraDracul.deviantart.com/journal/23452184/ Sat, 28 Feb 2009 13:56:50 PST
]]> ~VampiraDracul http://VampiraDracul.deviantart.com/journal/23395288/ http://VampiraDracul.deviantart.com/journal/23395288/ Wed, 25 Feb 2009 08:38:41 PST
Still have no idea if I'm gonna be able to make it to Point this weekend or not. OH! BY THE FUCKING WAY! On my way to school, I got a flat tire! I started hearing this noise like something was dragging or something, when I got to school looked under the van, nothing. Went to go walk in the office door, sure enough, rear passenger tire is flatter than a piece of fuckin paper. The sound I was hearing was the fuckin hubcap.

So yeah I'm in a shitty sick-fuck-my-life-shit-keeps-going-wrong mood this morning. Loverly. AND I'm almost out of chocolate-covered raisins. ><

[[edit less than five mins later: I AM out of chocolate-covered raisins]]

]]> ~VampiraDracul http://VampiraDracul.deviantart.com/journal/23388710/ http://VampiraDracul.deviantart.com/journal/23388710/ Tue, 24 Feb 2009 19:28:30 PST

That's all, I'm happy now. ^^

Except confused as HELL about V &&Cadet still...ehh we'll see I guess. Defo gettin sick >< LAME.

]]> ~VampiraDracul http://VampiraDracul.deviantart.com/journal/23373515/ http://VampiraDracul.deviantart.com/journal/23373515/ Mon, 23 Feb 2009 22:47:16 PST
OKay I was supposed to leave Point but then Mom said we had to stay so she could maek dinner, so I chilled with my bros at my dad's, then we stopped at El Dorado's on the way out b/c mom's never been there, &&when I walked out I heard my name, turn around &&sho 'nuff there's Josh. So I sat &&talked with him for a bit then Octavia says she's pissed at me &&I'm a liar and whatnot, idk she can't get mad at me for bein friends with someone I was friends with Josh before they were dating so yeah

Plus now things with V are confusing as hell, &&I spent almost the whole weekend with Cadet &&that made me feel happy &&depressed all at once, plus I think I'm sick//gettin there so that ain't helpin at all

Yeah I'ma get goin though just a quick update 'cause I gotta get to bed y'all, pz

P.S. Might be in Point this weekend again, we'll see...

]]> ~VampiraDracul http://VampiraDracul.deviantart.com/journal/23267584/ http://VampiraDracul.deviantart.com/journal/23267584/ Wed, 18 Feb 2009 08:33:07 PST
Not much is going on really, this Thursday we have a half day &&Friday we have off. It's our "spring break," lame huh? I'm not doing anything that important, just driving down to Point on Thursday &&staying 'til Sunday afternoon. ^^ Lol sorry I couldn't resist making it sound like nothing, I'm actually pretty excited. If any of y'all want to chill, call or message me. Send me a note if you need my new phone number...yes, I know, you just got used to my other one, now that phone's off lol so yeah...idk I know for sure I'll be hanging out with Octavia, probably staying at her house too. I was supposed to go to Racine with her, but her mom's being a cunt about it. What-ever lolz

Ummm....I guess that's it, I'm starting a new story at some point, it should be fairly interesting. Or maybe not, idk, I feel like writing but I can't figure out a starting point. Ideas are welcome haha...I'll credit you for it if you'd like, as well. Well I'm gonna get going for now, I'll ttyal. <3

]]> ~VampiraDracul http://VampiraDracul.deviantart.com/journal/23249195/ http://VampiraDracul.deviantart.com/journal/23249195/ Tue, 17 Feb 2009 07:53:11 PST
Gah still have to finish my letter to Nyk &&also hopefully I'll get his today so I can tack a reply onto the end &&send that out. Was supposed to send my dad all my college info today but couldn't find the envelopes, go figure...I'll have to do that after school I guess.

OMG there's a teacher here [[Mr. Clean haha]] &&I swear to jesus he was hitting on me the other day! Which is okay I guess [[&&actually not very surprising sort of]] because he's kinda cute &&only 24 [[he just had a birthday, he's either 23 or 24 I'm not sure which]] but yeah. A li'l awkward 'cause it's a teacher haha. I don't have him for class though so it's okay lolz I'm such a loser ANYWAYS...

I'm going to probably be making a bracelet or pair of earrings to go with the gorgeous Crescent necklace I made. Earrings would probably turn out better, so I think I'll go with those. Still can't believe that turned out as well as it did. ^^ Yes, I am in fact still ridiculously pleased about it.

I'm reading this book called 'Blue Bloods' by Melissa de la Cruz, &&it's actually pretty good so far. At first I wasn't sure if it was just going to be another horrible vampire book, but it has pleasantly surprised me. By the way, other good vampire books [[in my opinion at least]] include Fledgling, by Octavia E. Butler, the Twilight series by Stephanie Meyer, and The Trelayne Inheritance by Colleen Shanon. There are more, but my memory's failing me in my old age &&I can't think of them off the top of my head.

A couple people on here do features, which are pretty neat, so I was thinking of maybe doing one myself. But I don't know how to make a picture of the thing I'm featuring show up &&be a link so yeah...I barely know how to do the thing where you get someone's icon on your page lol ^^ If you want me to mention something you did, though, I guess just drop me a line I'll leave it on my next journal entry. For now I'm going to put links to my favourite pieces of my work. Toodles!


Jewellery:
Crescent Necklace
Wire Charm
Jade Set
Spiral Turquoise Bracelet


Writing:
Trace the Stars
Picturesque Morbidity
Suicide in Nine Seconds
The Vampire's Roommate
Fear
Remind


Photos:
Blood 3: Edited
Toby Rae Kissed A Girl
Toby Rae 5
Toby Rae 3
Whatevs
Watching
We Be Gangsta: Edited
Toby Rae 27: Birthday Weekend
Dev ID #3
Hidden #4
Classy or Trashy?
Crimson Nature

]]> ~VampiraDracul http://VampiraDracul.deviantart.com/journal/23224473/ http://VampiraDracul.deviantart.com/journal/23224473/ Sun, 15 Feb 2009 21:06:05 PST
Roses, and

Heart-shaped boxes of candy

Love songs,

Stuffed animals, and

Cuddling, watching movies

Horses, and

Riding,

Pretty dresses,

Things shiney

His voice, and

Surprise hugs, with

Soft kisses on the side

Saying you love me, and

Actually showing you care


Here is a hint

From me to V

If he doesn't get it

I'd like romance, spontaneously

I feel like telling him makes it

A little less valuable

'Cause if I say it, I expect it

And it's no longer random

iloveyou...
]]> ~VampiraDracul http://VampiraDracul.deviantart.com/journal/23218593/ http://VampiraDracul.deviantart.com/journal/23218593/ Sun, 15 Feb 2009 15:11:00 PST ut me on his shitlist. I shouldn't care but I do, I actually started tearing up because of it. GOOD GOD I'M PATHETIC! Anyways...I guess I'm gonna get going. He'll probably never know any of this anyway, because he never comes on DA &&if I try calling he'll probably jsut hang up on me. Not that I'd be able to verbally tell him. Maybe he'll go on his myyearbook &&see the gift thingy things I left him.....ehh idk he'll probably see that they're from me &&ignore their existence...Yeah I gotta do the dishes. Pz.

]]> ~VampiraDracul http://VampiraDracul.deviantart.com/journal/23170970/ http://VampiraDracul.deviantart.com/journal/23170970/ Fri, 13 Feb 2009 09:20:20 PST < I do still want to be friends with V, but I'll understand if he can't deal with that. I feel a lot better now, &&I'm done crying over him or wasting my energy being upset about it. It's done, it's over with, &&that's that.

SOMEONE TELL ME WHEN TRIVIA IS DAMNIT!!!!!! I need to know when I'll be missing school. ^^ Soo yeah.



I'm goin to collllllege! I'm goin to colllllllege! I got accepttttted! I'm goin to collllllege!

[[yes, I'm *still* excited about that!!!! ^^ I'm a loser, I know.]]

]]> ~VampiraDracul http://VampiraDracul.deviantart.com/journal/23169403/ http://VampiraDracul.deviantart.com/journal/23169403/ Fri, 13 Feb 2009 07:10:17 PST
]]> ~VampiraDracul http://VampiraDracul.deviantart.com/journal/23168808/ http://VampiraDracul.deviantart.com/journal/23168808/ Fri, 13 Feb 2009 06:08:39 PST
]]> ~VampiraDracul http://VampiraDracul.deviantart.com/journal/23134827/ http://VampiraDracul.deviantart.com/journal/23134827/ Wed, 11 Feb 2009 07:56:45 PST

ZOMG though excitin news! I got paid for a jewellery set I made, I'll put up pix soon I was excited woot woot! ^^ Lolz yeah...I also got paid for a necklace I made but I dint take a pic, it was gold chain w/barrel clasps &&orange beads threaded on gold wire in the shape of a heart. Yeah. But I'ma pzo for now ttyal!


OOHHHH YEAHH!! I'M GOIN TO COLLEGE! I'M GOIN TO COLLEGE! I got my acceptance letter from UWSP yesterday I was psyched!!!!! WOOT WOOT! Lolz

]]> ~VampiraDracul http://VampiraDracul.deviantart.com/journal/23101069/ http://VampiraDracul.deviantart.com/journal/23101069/ Mon, 09 Feb 2009 11:59:59 PST
ht tps://get2la.com
ht tp://unblocked-facebook.org
ht tp://unblockbeboproxy.org
ht tp://orkutunblocked.com
ht tp://unblockmyspaceproxy.org
ht tp://unblockyoutube.biz


Sooo yeah there y'all go. W/o the spaces o'course.

]]> ~VampiraDracul http://VampiraDracul.deviantart.com/journal/23093385/ http://VampiraDracul.deviantart.com/journal/23093385/ Sun, 08 Feb 2009 22:41:49 PST
Friday V was supposed to come over, which he did, but I ended up having to babysit. I tried to call, but our phone is a piece of shit and doesn't always work. Eventually I got ahold of him. I didn't get home until like 1:30, and I was tired from being up all day and taking care of two hyper little kids [[I went to babysit at like 5, 5:30, somewhere in there]].

Saturday, V went to hang out with Spike &&Scuba, but was supposed to come back after. Instead, he went to some other girls' house and spent the night. He didn't call and he didn't show up, i didn't even get hold of him until Sunday [[today]] around noon. He gave me all sorts of excuses, which I guess are legit, and got mad at me for still being pissed he didn't call or show.

Now, today, we fought about the whole stupid thing, plus some girl Sulfur is telling me they've been dating or he's been trying to get back with her since January, when he &&I have been together since October. I would believe him, but this is the second time some internet girl has said this to me, so I'm trying to believe he's the one telling the truth but it's getting hard. Plus he said he's done with me because I don't know how to be a girlfriend. I can't help how I am, but I guess that doesn't matter. So now I don't even know if we're still an "us" or if he just broke up with me or what. &&he made me cry, which I totallyfucking hate...

So now that I've bitched online instead of to his face [[as he puts it]] I'm going to go...I can't stop crying &&I can't hardly see the screen so yeah. I really don't want to go to school tomorrow &&have to see him basically all day, this is going to suck...

]]> ~VampiraDracul http://VampiraDracul.deviantart.com/journal/22952622/ http://VampiraDracul.deviantart.com/journal/22952622/ Sun, 01 Feb 2009 20:27:41 PST
]]> ~VampiraDracul http://VampiraDracul.deviantart.com/journal/22903490/ http://VampiraDracul.deviantart.com/journal/22903490/ Fri, 30 Jan 2009 12:20:34 PST
Yeah I'm pretty sure V is still irritated with me but whatever, he can be like that if he wants, I'm just going to do whatever lol...

DUDE I turned out some okay charcoals today, I wish I had a camera so I could show you guys!!! =[ But yeah...I guess I'm gonna go, almost time for art woot woot!

]]> ~VampiraDracul http://VampiraDracul.deviantart.com/journal/22899590/ http://VampiraDracul.deviantart.com/journal/22899590/ Fri, 30 Jan 2009 07:29:16 PST < Plus I keep feeling like he's lying to me or keeping something from me or something. I had a dream about it but I don't remember, all I know is it was about him, it involved lies or not saying something, and I woke up with a really bad feeling. But hey, you know, whatever.

I'm stuck in Sociology it blows. I don't want to be in that class, because it's a lot of computer shit and I can't do that, but if I drop then I owe the school $300. What a load of bull. Sooo yeah that's gonna suck major balls.

On the plus side, Wiz is coming to visit me this weekend! He's leaving in....like 2 1/2 hours and he'll get here around like 3:30 he said. Woot! ^^

WHAT THE FUCK! Ugh whatever. V is totally ignoring me. He told me he was going to come over to my house today, and instead he's asking B.rizzle to go to his house. Apparently he was never coming over in the first place b/c his mom's picking him up right after school. I hate it when he does this, but it happens a lot I should be used to the lies by now. Is it a lie if someone says they're getting you something or going to do something with you, and then they don't? And they don't bother giving you a reason or telling you or anything? Idk maybe I'm just being stupid about this and overreacting... *sigh* Well that totally killed my mood. Not that it was that great to start off with, but hey, you know, whatever. I'm getting used to being in an almost constant state of depression. Guess it just comes with the territory.

Swell, I've managed to bitch for almost the entire blog. I'ma pz I know y'all don't really want to hear any more of my bs. I just wish I could fucking do something right for once, you know?

]]> ~VampiraDracul http://VampiraDracul.deviantart.com/journal/22838374/ http://VampiraDracul.deviantart.com/journal/22838374/ Tue, 27 Jan 2009 07:21:12 PST
IT'S FUCKING COLD UP HURR! Lol it was like -13 or some shit when I left for school at like 7:15 [[way too early I got here at 7:30 school doesn't even start 'til after 8]]. I don't even want to be on the computer because my fingers are freezing lol

We're pretty much gonna keep Polaroid, unless by some stroke of misfortune someone comes and claims her. That would be depressing.

Ups g2g cuntfaced bitch is coming.

]]> ~VampiraDracul http://VampiraDracul.deviantart.com/journal/22821423/ http://VampiraDracul.deviantart.com/journal/22821423/ Mon, 26 Jan 2009 11:09:24 PST

Okay so I'm in this thing called Promethean Charter School. Basically a stuck up bitch for a teacher tells us what to do and we do projects on it. Or rather, we come up with projects, she tells us how we have to do them, and we do them.


This thing is retarded. The ONLY reason I'm in this stupid ass fucking program is so I can get a whole credit of science in one semester.

FUCK THIS BS

ugh.

]]> ~VampiraDracul http://VampiraDracul.deviantart.com/journal/22780823/ http://VampiraDracul.deviantart.com/journal/22780823/ Sat, 24 Jan 2009 11:47:04 PST

Anyways we're goign to call the dog Polaroid because mama dint like Polora LOL so yeah. She's a Welsh Corgi.

]]> ~VampiraDracul