http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:Vampirestein&section=today deviantART RSS for by:Vampirestein en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Fri, 18 Dec 2009 02:04:56 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://Vampirestein.deviantart.com/journal/28891771/ http://Vampirestein.deviantart.com/journal/28891771/ Fri, 11 Dec 2009 21:05:56 PST ~~~~~~~~
Be honest, who texted you last?
(It's "TEXT"...) I believe it was grams.

Do you have plans for tomorrow?
Nah.

Would you rather go to Canada or California on vacation?
Canadiiiiiiia!~ XD

Do you want to get married?
We'll see...

Are you wearing jeans, shorts, sweatpants or pajama pants?
Sweatpants doubling as pajamas.

Is there someone you really like to hang out with and just talk about stuff?
That's what I do regardless of who it is.

How fast does your mood change?
Neutral... almost always.

How long does it take you to fall asleep at night?
Way too long.

This time last year, can you remember who you liked?
Yes.

Do you plan on sleeping in tomorrow?
Let's not jinx that...

Do you find piercings attractive?
Mmeh...

What were you doing last night at midnight?
Wide... awake... watching some Animal Planet thingy.

Who do you usually hangout with?
Mom

Was last night terrible?
Nah, just couldn't sleep.

If you had to choose one: strawberries or grapes?
Strawberries

Are you currently wanting any piercings or tattoos?
Nah, I'm content for now.

Is tomorrow going to be a good day?
I'm hoping so.

Has anyone ever tried to ruin a relationship/​​thing with someone you were in?
Yeah, it worked... then I realized it wasn't worth the grief.

Would you date someone twenty years older than you?
No, they could be my parent... that's just... awkward.

Is your birthday in less than 6 month?
Long ways away

Are you a different person now than you were five years ago?
Of course

You have to get a piercing, what do you get?
Another ear one.

What woke you up this morning?
Mom

Is there anyone you know that deserves to get slapped?
Yeah, just bitch-tits (ex-roomie) lol

Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?
Pfft, what's the offense and then we'll see about plea bargaining.

Has a friendship ended recently that you wish had not?
It ended, he was an ass. I say the good outweighed the bad.

Is the last person of the opposite sex you texted single?
(Again, "TEXT") And yes.

Do you honestly miss someone?
I do.

Who did you last talk to on the phone for longer than 10 minutes?
Had to have been Yuffie...

Do you call anybody by their last name?
Yeah... ROTC habit at times...

Did you see a boy today that made you smile?
Nah, I believe Dr. Holloway is a MAN... but he made me laugh.

Do you ever think about the past?
At times

Do you like lightning?
indeed

Last person you said ‘I hate you’ to?
n/a

Rain or sunshine?
Rain...

If someone cheated on you, would you take them back if you really loved them?
Nope.

Does the person you like, know you like them?
Perhaps?

Is it easier to forgive, or to forget?
Forgive.

Are you currently looking forward to tomorrow?
Not really.

Have you ever felt like you weren't important?
Sure

Did you have a good day today?
Eesh...

What would you do if you found out you had been cheated on?
Been down that road before... best COA was just to let it go.

Is there someone who continuously lets you down?
Yup.

Someone says to you now, "lets go to a party and get trashed!" you say?
Fuck no.

Are you tired right now?
Hell yes.

Have you ever skipped school just because you were tired?
Yup... by means of a tylenol pm induced coma.

Would you live with someone without marrying them?
Let's get past the trust part first...

]]> *Vampirestein http://Vampirestein.deviantart.com/journal/27852743/ http://Vampirestein.deviantart.com/journal/27852743/ Mon, 19 Oct 2009 12:11:09 PDT
Part One: The Basics
my name is: I seem to have forgotten...
Age: two decades!
Where you live: as of now, a ship deck in Kijuju
Date of birth: 08-12-89
Straight, bisexual, or lesbian: Null
Female or male: *checks down boxers* still female
Single or taken: nunya~!
Do you have siblings: Sort of
If yes, what are their names and how old are they: *does a creepy Gant stare*
If no, do you like being the only child: touchy subject
Do you have pets: Nah
If yes, what kind are they and what are their names: I just said no.
If no, would you like a pet: Sure.
Are you in love: I could write a dissertation about this...

Part Two: Your Appearance
Hair color: dark to light brown-ish... it's very odd that way.
Eye color: brown...ish?
Height: 5'6"
Weight: 141 lbs
Ethnicity: *takes deep breath* Hawaiian, Chinese, Irish, Portuguese, Norwegian, Scottish, German... I'm sure I'm forgetting a few more...
Body Type: Not-so-slender anymore... kinda getting built a bit.
Bra Size: lol, bewbs say no.
Shirt Size: depends on the shirt.
Pant Size: 08-10
Hair Length: sorta long now
Straight, wavy, or curly hair: that's where the Chinese kicks in... totally straight.
Do you wear makeup: nope.
Do you use perfume: my soap is enough
Do you use deodorant: Yeeeeeees!
What would you say is your best feature: hands
What would you say is your worst feature: teeth

Part Three: Friendship
Do you have a best friend: sure do
If yes, what is his/her name: I can't disclose that information...
If no, is it because you prefer to have a big group of good friends rather than one best friend: shut yer face
Do you like to hang out with girls or guys better: Eh, really neither.
Do you think it's easier to talk to guys: Nope... nine times out of then, they don't listen anyway.
Have you ever slept over at a friends: Yup
Have you ever spent the weekend at a friends: Hmmm, come to think of it, nope.
Have you ever thrown a big party: No?
Have you ever gone on a vacation with a friend(s): Nope.
Have you known a friend for your whole life: in a matter of speaking...
Do you see most of your friends every day: Not at all...
Do you hang out with your friends at least once a week: I probably should... most think I'm dead at times.
Do most of your friends go to your school: *shrugs* I don't know what anyone does anymore.
Do you ever get into fights with your friends: We do that for fun! SHIT!
Have you ever fallen in love with one of your guy friends: nope.
Have you ever dated your best guy friend: Nope.
If yes, did that work out: those are lines that shouldn't be crossed.

Part Four: Which Of Your Friends...
Is the prettiest: Heh, Nathan.
Is the most handsome: *shrugs*
Is the richest: what the crap??
Has the best sense of humour: Kris and Des, no doubt.
Has the best sense of style: that exists?!?!?!
Is the ditziest:Yuffie LOL (totally agrees)
Is your best friend: Raffie
Can you tell anything to: hmmm...
Takes dance class: none that I know of.
Plays a sport: Unna, my rugby lesbian sis...
Plays an instrument: Lady Ma'am Sir
Is a gay/lesbian: lol, Unna
Is the smartest: Allie and Loz
Is sexually active: DON'T KNOW DON'T CARE!!!!!!
Is the smartest: lame for repeat questions
Has the strictest parents: Panda and Allie no lie.
Is the sweetest: Quinn
Gets the most boyfriends: *shrugs*
Likes to be the center of attention: your mom
Is the craziest: my mom! XD
Do you hang out with the most: me mum and Hikaru's a runner up
Do you miss the most: pfft... everyone.
Should be a model: Unna really...
Should be an actress: hmmm...
Should be a singer: *shrugs*
Do you get into fights with the most: mom, duh.
Is the best writer: Probie
Likes to read a lot: Russ
Watches the most TV:Yuffie (yup)
Is obsessed with Myspace: omgwtfbbq?
Is a bitch sometimes: that title belongs to me.
Can't keep a secret: Young Nick...

Part Five: Your Family
Do you spend a lot of time with them: Pretty much
Were you closer to them when you were younger: Eh...
Are you parents still together: Like hell
If no, do you live with your mom or dad: me mum
Do your parents spoil you: nah
Is your best friend one of your cousins: jeeze... shut up.
Do you hate any family members: not hate.
Do... ]]> *Vampirestein http://Vampirestein.deviantart.com/journal/27806019/ http://Vampirestein.deviantart.com/journal/27806019/ Fri, 16 Oct 2009 21:23:15 PDT
Pfft, anywho... thought it was high time that I post something random.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Leave your name in my blog comments. Once you do that, this is what I'll do ...

1. I'll respond with something random about you.
2. I'll tell you which song or movie you remind me of.
3. I'll pick a kind of alcoholic beverage to share with you.
4. I'll say something that only makes sense to you and me.
(if possible. if not, I'll say something that only makes sense to me.)
5. I'll tell you my first memory of you.
6. I'll tell you what animal you remind me of.
7. I'll ask you something I've always wondered about you.
8. If you play, you MUST post this on your blog.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(Frankly I don't care if you re-post this in your journal, just thought it'd be fun.)

]]> *Vampirestein http://Vampirestein.deviantart.com/journal/27253570/ http://Vampirestein.deviantart.com/journal/27253570/ Wed, 16 Sep 2009 21:07:49 PDT some weight, my legs are getting toned pretty fast, and arms have more definition... I'm beaming with a little pride here, so bear with me. Not only is this setting me up for higher endurance, strength, etc... but it's bettering my overall physique (true, just a plus) and I find myself feeling a little better when I look into a mirror.

Anywho... I miss people... a LOT of people... someone in particular... shit, now I'm sad again.

]]> *Vampirestein http://Vampirestein.deviantart.com/journal/26538523/ http://Vampirestein.deviantart.com/journal/26538523/ Tue, 11 Aug 2009 23:25:07 PDT

Man, was I in for a surprise Monday! planned this whole shebang for a joint b-day bash for and me. There were people there that I hadn't seen in who knows how long! Said planner gifted us with her baking skills (which that cake was so F-n awesome) and a sleep over (hadn't done that in forever as well). Overall it was one of the nicest things anyone's ever done for me, aside from me mum of course... I'm very blessed to know such wonderful people... and to be reunited with others (Hurhur, "Boobie Lady")


Heh, speaking of me mum... she kinda got after me for working out so much; Mentioned something about me going overboard and pushing myself too much (not to mention a special someone would much rather me be in one piece as well) I don't blame her though, didn't realize how much my joints have been acting up until I had a few days of rest (lol). It's good that I'm pushing myself, but it won't do me a lick of good if I get injured in the process.

Now that I've got a little sleep in my system, I'mma go draw some stuff, have a grilled cheese sammich, and enjoy the rest of my birthday. Oh, and go play BlazBlue:Calamity Trigger if you haven't done so already.

Many thanks to:







(and a few others that don't have dA's)
for making this a birthday to remember.

]]> *Vampirestein http://Vampirestein.deviantart.com/journal/26434780/ http://Vampirestein.deviantart.com/journal/26434780/ Thu, 06 Aug 2009 23:51:26 PDT Most of my free time is spent on physical training and whatnot since I've got to get myself in the best shape I've ever been in my life~!(lol, guess I'll be even better for my cosplay?) So I'm making fast friends with a bottle of glucosamine chondroitin for my retarded joints... age is not a fun process, kiddos. With all that going on, I'm frustrated that I can't seem to get someone's calls at the right time (Perhaps I need gym shorts with a pocket to hold my phone...), school's about to start and I've no creative ambition for painting II at all, and in the midst of life planning a trip to see that SOMEONE has to be in the mix as well. No questions asked. But enough complaining, I'll just have to make myself strong enough to withstand a fall from a window as a result of super-glomping Wesker (lol).

[link]

...it's what I've been listening to.

]]> *Vampirestein http://Vampirestein.deviantart.com/journal/26261743/ http://Vampirestein.deviantart.com/journal/26261743/ Wed, 29 Jul 2009 18:44:10 PDT ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

How did your day start off?
Washing dishes half asleep.

Is there anyone you'd like to just appear at your front door right now?
Sure... though I'm in my boxers right about now.

Where is the person you last kissed at this moment?
The other room

What does the last person you kissed think of you?
She thinks I'm a dork.

What color shirt are you wearing?
White.

What is one thing you would love to happen tomorrow?
Rain... and lots of it.

Is the last person you kissed more than a year older than you?
I'd hope so. Pime Taradox!

Are you any good with kids?
Yes, actually.

Anyone you would like to get things straight with?
Nothing to say.

Excited for anything?
The new semester and seeing someone.

Do you miss anyone?
Yes. Terribly.

Does anyone disgust you?
Yeah, but I'm over it.

Do you like cuddling?
Sort of. It's complicated.

Is there anyone who doesn't know you and who doesn't like you?
Probably... it's happened in the past.

Can you go in public looking like you do?
Not really. O__O

How tall are you?
hurhurhur, not very... but above average for an Asian.

What woke you up this morning?
Nightmares...

Ever wanted to never give up on someone?
yup.

How old are you turning on your upcoming birthday?
lol, don't you know it's not polite to ask a lady her age? But hey, it's the big 20 coming up.

Do you drink tea?
Yup.

When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought?
"Baggies under the eyes..."

Wearing any underwear?
Of course!

Are you looking for a boyfriend/ girlfriend?
You'd be surprised what you find right in front of you.

Do you love where you live?
Who are you kidding, Texas is awesome!

What were you doing 12 AM last night?
Awake. Wide awake.

When was the last time you cried from laughing so hard?
Early this morning... oh man, those majini say the darndest things.

Do you like someone a lot?
I like you.... a lot.

Have you kissed more than 10 people this year?
Hurhur, no.

Something that you're listening to right now?
"Hi, hello Miss, Sweeney could you please come in my office for a second?
I'll be heading home for today and I thought it would be good for you and
me to check in.
I met with the gal from expo and they do have the slab cabinets in white.
She thinks that we can take the measurements down at the site.
If we would do that, it would be fine Miss Sweeney
That's all I got to say to you in this time Miss Sweeney
Actually, there's one other thing on my mind...
Girl, you make the rainclouds disappear
The sun always shines when you're near
I'm waiting until you love me
Sweeney...
I'm so sorry, Miss Sweeney, I don't know where that came from
I think I was overcome by a spontaneous emotion
Anyway the cash deposit of 5000 dollars will need to be sent to the property owner tomorrow
If there are any problems with the deposit or contract, don't be afraid to holler
I don't want to have to approve each stinking dollar that we borrow
Aww forget it,
Miss Sweeney...
Girl, you make the rainclouds disappear
The sun always shines when you're near
I'm waiting until you love me
Miss Sweeney, I gotta admit the truth,
I am totally head-over heels in love with you
Everyday you come to the office looking fine
Maybe its the suit clinging tightly to your spine
You ask me if I'm ready to get down to work.
Sweeney baby, I'm ready
Be my...
Girl, you make the rainclouds disappear
The sun always shines when you're near
I'm waiting until you love me
Girl, you light the skies of my life
I swear I will make you my wife
I'm waiting until you love me
Sweeney..."

]]> *Vampirestein http://Vampirestein.deviantart.com/journal/25830092/ http://Vampirestein.deviantart.com/journal/25830092/ Thu, 09 Jul 2009 01:29:39 PDT '_'

Not much for colors, but the 'Ketchup Fart' and 'Cowboys Butts Drive Me Nuts' comics will be up next.


Damn... I need to fix what isn't right. 100+ degree weather doesn't help either.

"If you just walked away
What could I really say?
Would it matter anyway?
Would it change how you feel?

I am the mess you chose
The closet you cannot close
The devil in you i suppose
'Cause the wounds never heal"

]]> *Vampirestein http://Vampirestein.deviantart.com/journal/25517281/ http://Vampirestein.deviantart.com/journal/25517281/ Wed, 24 Jun 2009 12:47:00 PDT Have fun kids!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"YOU WATCH ME. I want to know 28 things about you. I don't care if we've never talked, never really clicked, or if we already know everything about each other. Let me know with whom I'm friends with!"


1. Your Name:
2. Age:
3. Single or Taken:
4. Favourite Film:
5. Favourite Song or Album:
6. Favourite Band/Artist:
7. Dirty or Clean:
8. Tattoos and/or Piercings:
9. Do we know each other outside of dA?:
10. What's your philosophy on life?:
11. Is the bottle half-full or half-empty?:
12. Would you keep a secret from me if you thought it was in my best interest?:
13. What is your favourite memory of us?:
14. What is your favourite guilty pleasure?:
15. Tell me one odd/interesting fact about you:
16. You can have three wishes (for yourself, so forget all the 'world peace etc' malarkey) - what are they?:
17. Can we get together and make a cake?:
18. Which country is your spiritual home?:
19. What is your big weakness?:
20. Do you think I'm a good person?:
21. What was your best/favourite subject at school?:
22. Describe your accent:
23. If you could change anything about me, would you?:
24. What do you wear to sleep?:
25. Trousers or skirts?:
26. Cigarettes or alcohol?:
27. If I only had one day to live, what would we do together?:
28. Will you repost this so I can fill it out for you?:

]]> *Vampirestein http://Vampirestein.deviantart.com/journal/25318203/ http://Vampirestein.deviantart.com/journal/25318203/ Sun, 14 Jun 2009 21:44:11 PDT
It feels like I've been punched in the face, I'm sunburnt only on my shins (I can't even comprehend how the hell that happened), can't find my usb cord for my camera to get my art up here, a close friend is leaving for basic training, I haven't been able to talk with someone special in who knows how long, and I'm frustrated as hell.

Good news is, financial aid kicked in for Fall semester.

Projects to look forward to:
-Final Fantasy Summons Tarot set
-Belated gift for Loz-kun's birthday
-PART of Miss Lady Ma'am Sir's (belated) birthday gift
-More than a few sketch dumps
-7k(+) kiriban! (I know, I'm late!)
-Redux of that Vincent and Rosso pic a lot of people seem to like. (can't find the original)
aaaaaaaaaand...
maybe a few surprises having to do with San Japan in August, but we'll see.

Alright kiddos, I'mma go down some coffee and tylenol p.m. while my legs are on fire.

]]> *Vampirestein http://Vampirestein.deviantart.com/journal/24318561/ http://Vampirestein.deviantart.com/journal/24318561/ Sun, 19 Apr 2009 02:26:19 PDT I'm an insomniac needing something to do to tire my eyes...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
-Prologue-
1. Who took your profile picture?
I'd like to think it was myself

2. Exactly what are you wearing right now?
black "Psych Ward" tee and boxers (man, always catching me wearing my nighties)

3. What is your current problem?
God-forsaken headache that hasn't gone away.

4. What makes you most happy?
The happiness and safety of those close to me.

5. What's the name of the song that you're listening to?
"Birds" by Kate Nash
________________________________________________________

Chapter 1:

1. Nickname?
lots of those, next question.

2. Eye color?
they differ

3. Hair color?
medium to dark brown (it varies as it wants)

4. Height?
this inbetweenie-weenie height of 5'6" won't do...
________________________________________________________

Chapter 2:

1. Do you live with your parent(s)?
I live with my best friend, what's your excuse?

2. Do you get along with your parent(s)?
S'all right most of the time.

3. Are your parents chill?
She is more than I.

4. Do you have any Siblings?
Touchy subject for me.
________________________________________________________
Chapter 3:
-Favorite-
1. Ice Cream?
Mint

2. Season?
The transition of Autumn to Winter

3. Book?
just one?

4. Color?
black, dark green, burgundy, brown (lol wut)

5. Food?
*shrugs* but now I'm hungry...

7. Pen color?
black... dur.

8. Store?
n/a

9. Person?
I have favorite persons.
___________________________________
Chapter 4:
-Do You…-
1. Write on your hand:
No... mom writes on them.

2. Call people back?
rarely talk on the phone

3. Believe in love?
"Freedom is the absence of chains just as evil is the absence of love." Tertius Longinus, you awesome fellow.

4. Sleep on a certain side of the bed?
closest to the wall
____________________________________________
Chapter 5:
-Have You…-
1. Kissed Someone in the past 24 hours?
me mum

2. If so...where?
that's just dumb.

3. Had physical therapy?
newp

4. Gotten surgery?
Nah

5. Taken painkillers?
Sure

6. Overdosed on pain killers?
too personal... next!

7. Been stung by a bee?
Never... they like me for some reason.

8. Threw up in a doctors office?
lol, no
_______________________________________
Chapter 6:
-Who/what was the last-
(Where's 1,2,4,6,and 9-11?)
3. Thing you touched?
laptop

5. Thing you said?
"Haha... ass-hat..."

7. Person you saw?
Mom

8. Person you talked to on the phone?
Nickie

12. Last time you cleaned your room?
haven't spent much time in there for it to be messy.

13. Last time you talked to someone you like?
It's been a while...
__________________________________
Chapter 7:
-Random Questions-
1. Do you remember your anniversary date?
of my name change, yes.

2. What's the most exciting thing that happened to you today?
BISCUITS!!!! O .o

3. How many best friends do you have?
a handful

4. Would you rather get up early or sleep in?
how about get some sleep in general...

5. Who do you love?
My family

6. What would you change about your life right now?
I could do without the stupid stuff.

7. Would you rather smile over a lie or cry over the truth?
Cry over the truth... but this soldier doesn't cry.

8. What’s on your bedroom floor?
Probably strands of my hair... I shed too much.

9. Who was the last person you got into an argument with?
Argue? Who does that? lol

10. Do you trust people easily? *Vampirestein http://Vampirestein.deviantart.com/journal/24102316/ http://Vampirestein.deviantart.com/journal/24102316/ Mon, 06 Apr 2009 20:56:12 PDT 1. Gardenia
2. McGriddle
3. "Lady"

Three screen names you've had
1. Vampirestein
2. Dr.quack
3. Jackfate

Three physical things you like about yourself
1. Hair (when it's not humid)
2. hands
3. eyes

Three physical things you don't like about yourself
1. hips (damn buggers makes me buy pants that are too long)
2. teeth
3. jaw

Three parts of your heritage
1. Chinese
2. Scotts-Irish
3. Hawaiian (they weren't always a part of America, you know)

Three things that scare you
1. losing them
2. health issues
3. mirrors

Three of your everyday essentials
1. coffee
2. love
3. music <-- *agrees*

Three things you are wearing right now
1. boxers
2. foxhound tee
3. rainbow socks

Three of your favorite bands/musical artists
1. Jack Johnson
2. Aesma Daeva
3. Sarah McLachlan

Three of your favorite songs
1. "Banana Pancakes" by Jack Johnson
2. "Luceat Eis" by Aesma Daeva
3. "Chasing Pavements" Adele

Three new things you want to try to do in the next 12 months
1. Find a better job
2. See people I haven't
3. Find more time for art

Three things you want in a relationship
1. Trust
2. Mutual respect
3. emotional understanding

Two truths and a lie
1. I've taken a vow of celibacy
2. I can't ever forgive him
3. I don't want kids

Three things about the opposite sex that appeal to me
1. respect
2. philosophical views
3. humor

Three of your favorite hobbies
1. writing/drawing
2. musical endeavors
3. Running until it hurts

Three things you want to do really badly right now
1. get rid of this headache
2. ...see someone...
3. Make this fire burn brighter!

Three careers you're considering
1. Homicide Detective
2. Lawyer (family law only, plz)
3. Criminal Justice professor

Three places I want to go on vacation
1. SILENT HILL! (lol)
2. Russia
3. Ireland

Three things to do before I die
1. Make a difference, no matter how small or minute
2. spend my life making someone's grand
3. sing with confidence

Three celeb crushes
1. oh
2. hell
3. no

]]> *Vampirestein http://Vampirestein.deviantart.com/journal/23976818/ http://Vampirestein.deviantart.com/journal/23976818/ Mon, 30 Mar 2009 21:08:33 PDT
Why would one want to learn of the birth of another family member they'll never get to see?
Why wouldn't the one person that has contact stand up for me for once and say, "You've held them back from her for years and she has done nothing to deserve this treatment!" the one person that made trips by whatever means just to see them but the same effort and thought was never bestowed upon me.
How much more does one have to suffer for crimes they didn't commit?
Why can't this bleeding heart stop beating and become stone again?

Hmmm, maybe it's not an art drought after all... I've got so much to work with right here besides getting my other drawings and whatnot-doodles that I've woven in with my abnormal psych and criminal justice notes. Do I sense a sketch dump and a 7,000 Kiriban!? You bet I do.

]]> *Vampirestein http://Vampirestein.deviantart.com/journal/23449001/ http://Vampirestein.deviantart.com/journal/23449001/ Sat, 28 Feb 2009 10:35:39 PST for his Great-Grandmother's passing.

[Disclaimer: This is NOT a personal attack on any specific person... if you're that vain to think it's "All about you" don't read this. It won't be worth my time or energy to deal with that. It is a general address on the topic.]

Of many years spent like this... and a conversation... has sparked this energy within, certainly not rage. You cannot become angry with the ignorant. Through life I've been given the short end of the stick and punished for the wrongs I had not committed. Dragged along and lied to in false hopes and bonds... used for the scapegoat and made out to be the "enemy" as some put it and disliked or hated for no particular reason. Maybe I should just take these given titles and then give them something to really bitch about and give reason for all this mess? But no, that's not me... not twisting the meanings of patience, loyalty, and honor to my own liking. No, I won't do that. If I betray one of the three, I'll admit my wrongs, but refuse to be smothered by false accusations and public humiliation. No one likes when the passive actually draw lines with others.

Okay, last call for everyone... if you've got some sort of complaint about how I am or don't understand something I've done... just ask. Ask question, get answer. If you just happen to not be satisfied with that given answer, get over it. Go take a trip to Burger King if you wanted it "your way." [laughs] I don't lack reason and compassion, I'm just damn tired people taking advantage.

~Enjoy your days~

"No matter how hard you try to put out my flame, I'll just keep burning brighter."


[Ending note: lol, if you've read this entirely, good for you. The disclaimer was necessary since I've had a few people complain and retaliate (for reasons unknown) because of what I had put. Albeit not limited to just here, of course. If you're not liking what I have to say more often than not, leave quietly and never speak of or to me again.]

]]> *Vampirestein http://Vampirestein.deviantart.com/journal/23321680/ http://Vampirestein.deviantart.com/journal/23321680/ Sat, 21 Feb 2009 10:03:08 PST
I believe someone used the phrase, "You can't have your cake and eat it too" and it made me think (of course). Along with the liars above, people that believe it's fun to toy with others are just as sick. Oh I do enjoy doing a little investigating of my own to find out who is playing who. Just more for me to laugh at and maybe give my pack members the once-over... few have gone astray.

So I'm lacking in the spark department, but it hasn't slowed my writing. Twelve pages of a notebook per day is good progression, I say. Things aren't burning as bright as they were before, but when have I been one to use fire analogies? Women are made of water, silly. I'm debating whether to take up a different martial art, since I was told I have a natural gift for it... that might be something to fill my "void time" during and after this semester. (Holy crap, I'm still tired even after a solid night's sleep) Ah well, more art will be up soon and maybe some writing if you all are good little boys and girls.

~Lady of the Flowers



Post scriptum:
I've never been along side a pack like some say... I've had one all along. You were a part of it before, but took yourself out on your own accord. Don't come to me crying when you're being mistreated. I am not a councelor, I am not your emotional rag doll, I am not just a filler, and I am not a mercenary at your disposal. I am however a friend, something more(maybe), a daughter, a granddaughter, an older sister, and a loyal heart. I refuse to be protective, shoot off and have innocent blood on my teeth because you can't be upfront. In this pack, your crosses will be the pack's to bear, but not if you can't accept responsibility for your actions.

]]> *Vampirestein http://Vampirestein.deviantart.com/journal/23068773/ http://Vampirestein.deviantart.com/journal/23068773/ Sat, 07 Feb 2009 19:27:10 PST
Real Name: *classified information*
Nickname: Uhhhh... which one?
Deviantart Name: *looks at top of screen* I believe it says 'Vampirestein'
Country: Raised here, origins are everywhere else.
Gender: the non-male...


F A V O R I T E S

Color: Black, green, burgundy
Food: Adobo Pancit noodles
Drinks: Coffee
Movie at the moment (1 only): High Tension
Song at the moment (1 only):
"You are everything I need to see
Smile and sunlight makes sunlight to me
Laugh and come and look into me
Drips of moonlight washing over me
Can I show you what you are for me?"
~"Angel of Mine" Evanescence
TV Program (1 only): NCIS (Rocks my socks)
TV Channel (1 only): Tru-tv
Book: school (lol)
Ice Cream flavor: mint

V E R S U S

What do you like most?: I like you... XD

Sweet or Spicy?: Spicy... and an occasional sweet...

White chocolate or dark chocolate?: Dark (Anti-oxidants!)

School or Mall?: School!

Desktop Computer or Laptop?: Laptop

Ice Cream or Cake?: cake

Anime or Cartoons?: Anime

PSP or PS2?: PS3

Sony or Panasonic?: Sony

RnB or POP?: RnB

D E V I A N T A R T

What is your most favorite deviation in your gallery?:
Hell, I dunno... can't keep track anymore.

Who is your first watcher?:
Sir Crimson Coyote!

How many are your watchers right now?:
Get back to me when you can phrase that question correctly...

How many deviation/s do you have?:
60

In the moment, how many is your page views?:
You mean, "AT" the moment, yes? Then 5,933

Whom of your watchers do you talk the most?
Miss Sweet, definetly... <3333

Are you a subscriber?
Nah, I have other important things to take care of.

When did you start using Deviantart?
February 11, 2007

]]> *Vampirestein http://Vampirestein.deviantart.com/journal/22947386/ http://Vampirestein.deviantart.com/journal/22947386/ Sun, 01 Feb 2009 15:59:47 PST
1. ONE OF YOUR SCARS, HOW DID YOU GET IT??
I suppose on my upper left arm which was obtained by a moving accident when I was younger.

2. WHAT IS ON THE WALLS IN YOUR ROOM?
Not much with the bunks taking up a wall and a half...

3. DO YOU SNORE, GRIND YOUR TEETH, OR TALK IN YOUR SLEEP?
I was told I curse when I'm stressed.

4. WHAT TYPE OF MUSIC DO YOU LISTEN TO?
What DON'T I listen to?

5. DO YOU KNOW WHAT TIME YOU WERE BORN?
11:59 a.m.

6. WHAT DO YOU WANT MORE THAN ANYTHING RIGHT NOW?
Not so much a want as it is a need.

7. WHAT DO YOU MISS?
Ah, a sense of being.

8. WHAT IS YOUR MOST PRIZED POSSESSION?
I've none. Material items are all easily replaceable.

9. HOW TALL ARE YOU?
A tad above average.

10. DO YOU GET CLAUSTROPHOBIC?
Not at all.

11. DO YOU GET SCARED IN THE DARK?
Nope. I enjoy it.

12. THE LAST PERSON TO MAKE YOU CRY?
The situation we were in before my grandmother came back home... so in a sense it was her...

13. WHAT’S YOUR WORST FEAR?
Losing control.

14. WHAT KIND OF HAIR/EYE COLOR DO YOU LIKE ON THE OPPOSITE SEX?
Doesn't matter.

15. WHERE CAN YOU SEE YOURSELF PROPOSING AT?
Oh, can't blow the suprise... XD

16. COFFEE OR ENERGY DRINK?
Coffee. (I'm an old soul.)

17. FAVORITE PIZZA TOPPING?
Mushrooms.

18. IF YOU COULD EAT ANYTHING RIGHT NOW, WHAT WOULD IT BE?
*isn't very hungry*

19. FAVORITE COLOR OF ALL TIME?
black

20. HAVE YOU EVER EATEN A GOLDFISH?
>.>

21. WHAT WAS THE FIRST MEANINGFUL GIFT YOU'VE EVER RECEIVED?
My life.

22. DO YOU HAVE A CRUSH?
I'd say nay. "Crushes" are feelings that have no depth, I think. Now something more, perhaps.

23. ARE YOU DOUBLE JOINTED?
Somewhat... damn these old bones.

24. FAVORITE CLOTHING BRAND?
The kind that doesn't cost a lot. *remembers an old quote, "I am NOT paying this much money for material to cover my ass!"*

25. WHO IS THE HOTTEST FEMALE/MALE CELEBRITY?
I'm not much into the celebrity eye-candy...

26. DO YOU HAVE A PET RIGHT NOW?
Nope.

27. WHAT KIND IS IT?
'__'

28. WOULD YOU FALL IN LOVE KNOWING THAT THE PERSON IS LEAVING?
Why create an attachment... but if it's love, it's worth it.

29 went AWOL

30. SAY A NUMBER FROM ONE TO A HUNDRED:
6

31. BLONDES OR BRUNETTES?
Wait... regarding what? lol! Either.

No 32 or 33...?

34. HAVE YOU BEEN OUT OF THE USA?
Nopers.

35. YOUR WEAKNESSES?
This noble, beaten, bleeding heart o'mine...

36. MET ANYONE FAMOUS?
Errrr... nah.

37. FIRST JOB?
Computer graphics marketing

38. EVER DONE A PRANK CALL?
No, actually.

39. DO YOU THINK EVERYONE OUT THERE HAS A SOULMATE?
Perhaps...

40. WHAT WERE YOU DOING BEFORE YOU FILLED THIS OUT?
Engrossed in an artistic endeavor.

41. HAVE YOU EVER HAD SURGERY?
Not to my knowledge.

42. WHAT DO YOU GET COMPLIMENTED ABOUT MOST?
Physically... the eyes have it.

43. HAVE YOU EVER HAD BRACES?
Never have.

44. WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY?
*blank stare*

45. HOW MANY KIDS DO YOU WANT?
If I'm blessed to have a child in my future years, then does it really matter how many?

46. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?
My birth name, yes.

47. WHAT IS THE BIGGEST TURN OFF OF THE OPPOSITE SEX?
Uncontrolled testosterone drive...

48. WHAT IS ONE THING YOU MISS ABOUT HIGH SCHOOL?
Hmmm, I dunno about that... just being able to see certain people more often than I do now.

49. WHAT KIND OF SHAMPOO DO YOU USE?
Ones that clean my hairrrrrrrrr~

50. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
It varies.

51. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?
lolz... I dunno if tofu counts...

52. ANY BAD HABITS?
Sure. (You never asked for me to list 'em.)

53. ARE YOU A JEALOUS PERSON?
Not at all.

54. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?
I would more than likely be intimidated, scared, or have some sort of vendetta against myself... most people have anyway.

55. DO YOU AGREE WITH FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS?
I'm so much against... ]]> *Vampirestein http://Vampirestein.deviantart.com/journal/22738226/ http://Vampirestein.deviantart.com/journal/22738226/ Sun, 25 Jan 2009 17:09:17 PST
Alas, nothing new to report. More art will be up soon.
(I'll be editing this later, my eyes are starting to cross; I'm so damn tired.)

~~~~EDIT!~~~~~~~~~~~~
Okay, the number has changed, that's just a given. School has taken some getting used to again with the new buildings. The lake is nice to sit by and I've found my favorite spot to sit (pics of that area will be up soon as well) and think. Hopefully by photograph I can share that place with those that are close to me, but too far away. New inspirations for the art to come... some good, some bad... and some utterly confusing much like someone's dream of Thailand and eating chicken. Time tells all, I suppose. Now I am off to go make some blueberry muffins I owe someone. Looooooooong overdue.

Adieu!

]]> *Vampirestein http://Vampirestein.deviantart.com/journal/22228616/ http://Vampirestein.deviantart.com/journal/22228616/ Sat, 27 Dec 2008 15:25:12 PST

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1. Getting kissed under the mistletoe or in the snow?
In the snow.

2. Santa or Rudolph?
Wait, regarding what? lol! I kid, Rudolph

3. Stocking or presents?:
Stocking

4. Egg nog or hot cider?:
*is a coffee or tea drinker*

5. Angel or Star?:
Star

6. Decorating the tree or putting lights on the outside?:
Neither this year.

7. Warm fires or sleigh rides?
Warm fires.

8. Expensive presents or presents that come from the heart?:
It's always about what's from the heart, even for a Nobody. XD

9. Snow ball fight or snowman?:
*covers face* while making the snowman, I'll randomly get hit in the face by one...

10. Will you be getting coal or presents?
Hey, fossil fuels might be good this year... ^_^

11. Giving or Receiving presents?:
I'm a giver. Seriously. I hate when I'm not able to do something for someone.

12. Open presents quick or slow?:
Slow... it's easier to clean up later.

13. Caroling or Christmas stories?
How about standing at the balcony and shooting foam darts at the people that come to your door whilst shouting, "JIHAD ON YOU!" (lolz for the inside joke)

14. Snowy days or icy days?:
Snowy... VERY snowy days.

15. Red or Green?
Green

16. Nightmare before Christmas or The Santa Clause?:
That's a no brainer...Nightmare Before Christmas! <-- *nods head in agreement*

21. Fake tree or Real tree?:
either?

22. Prime Rib or Ham?:
Pffft, it's Hawaiian Curry stew in this household!

23. Red and White Candy Canes or Colorful Candy Canes?:
Red and white here

24. Get up early or sleep in late?
Early.

25. Old Christmas Movies or New ones?:
Classics are a must, but movies are movies!

26. The Santa Claus 1 or The Santa Claus 2?:
Haven't seen either. Can't judge.

27. The Grinch movie or Elf movie?:
The Grinch, haven't seen the other.

28. Scrooge or Tiny Tim?:
lol, Scrooge... huge self development. XD

29. Ornaments or a Wreath?:
Mmeh, doesn't matter.

30. Christmas Eve or Christmas day?:
kinda wish Christmas Eve didn't happen this year, but it did.

Before Christmas:

1. Does your family send out Christmas cards?:
Some of them... very constricted family.

2. How soon do you start shopping?:
Throughout the year.

3. Who do you shop for?:
My pack.

4. Do you put up a Christmas tree?:
Sometimes

5. If so, is it fake or real?:
Fake

Decorations:

6. Do you like tinsel?:
not really

7. Do you use homemade or storebought ornaments?:
tad bit of both

8. Do you put Christmas lights outside your house?:
Sometimes on the balcony

9. Do you put lights on the tree?:
Used to... boy that was a pain.

10. How about popcorn and cranberries?:
Nah.

11. Is there a wreath hanging on your door?
Nope... just flyers from local places

Christmas Eve:

12. Do you celebrate it?:
Can we skip this?

13. Do you hang up your stocking(s)?:
Not any more

14. Does your family read "Twas the night before Christmas?":
lol, the Hawaiian version.

Favorite:

15. Christmas Movie?:
none in partic...

16. Character from any Christmas Movie:
Zero (The dog from the Nightmare Before Christmas, not you Lelouch...)

17. Christmas Song:
"Song for a Winter's Night" by Sarah McLachlan

18. Christmas Memory:
Good or bad, eh?

This or That:

19. Give or Receive?:
Give

20. Eggnog or Cider?
woah, can you say repeat?

21. Red or Green?:
*pokes your face*

22. Ham or Turkey?:
turkey

23. Star or Angel?:
*smacks forehead*

24. White Lights or Colored Lights?
Both, but white makes a tree look a tad more elegant.

25. Blinking Lights or Still Lights:
Still Lights for inside, blinking goes out. XD

26. Were you Naughty or Nice this year?:
Too nice.

Presents:

27. What do you want for Christmas this year?:
Lol, I never desire anything... usually results in an argument with me mum.

28. When do you open your gifts?:
There is no pack tradition.

29. What's the best gift you'v... ]]> *Vampirestein http://Vampirestein.deviantart.com/journal/22119112/ http://Vampirestein.deviantart.com/journal/22119112/ Mon, 22 Dec 2008 10:13:17 PST Needless to say, I'm enjoying my break dispite some of the seasonal downers. I'm grateful for those that have been there for me.... Now, onward to some fun for everyone!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Was the last person you kissed cute?
lol, I guess you could call my granny cute?

Have you ever kissed anyone with a lip ring?
Nah

Who was the last baby you held?
An old friend's...

What are you most excited about this week?
I try not to look too far ahead...

What were you doing at 8 am this morning?
tossing and turning

Do you like pancakes?
Banana...

Have you told anybody you loved them today?
My pack

Do you like surprises?
Wait... like an "I stole your kidney!" surprise?
O__o 'cause that's a no...

Do you trust all your friends?
For the most part... I learned the hard way.

What did the last message you received say?
Oh I can't tell you that.

Be serious or funny?
Seriously funny

Do you ever keep arguing when you know you are wrong?
Nope. I hate arguing.

Do you like to cuddle?
Seriously...

Who was the last person's voice you heard?
Me mum and granny talking about some vampire game.

Do you crack your knuckles?
No mistaking that sound... *craaack*

Tell me about the shirt you are wearing?
Uhhh, white undershirt. What's to say about that?

How have you felt today?
Pretty chill after my headache subsided a little.

Have you kissed someone in a vehicle?
Sure.

Are you a forgiving person?
Too mcuh at times.

Are you wearing shorts?
Nope.

Ever had a girl best friend?
Yup.

Last time you laughed?
Grandma having fun on myspace applications...

Last argument?
Had nothing to do with me! XD

Where will you be in an hour?
Doin' stuff.

Do you think you will make a good wife/husband?
Ask the future me or my future spouse. '__'

Are you a jealous person?
Not at all... should I be? I've been on the short end of the stick because I'm not.

Your favorite thing to drink on a hot summer day?
Green tea... but that's year 'round... oh crap, I've dodged yet another question...

Have you ever kissed someone who's name started with M?
*thinks* Nicknames not included, then no.

Do you believe that everything happens for a reason?
Always have, no matter how horrible the situation at the time is.

Is there someone you really like to just hang out with and talk about stuff?
I'm able to do that with most of the people I know.

When did you talk to the opposite sex?
Last night I believe.

Who did you last piss off?
Hell, I stopped keeping track of that after a village mob came after me claiming I was a witch. XD

Are you a bitch?
I can be when I need to be.

What is something you disliked about your day?
Damned headache. ;__;

Someone just handed you $100,000 now what would you do?
Errr... what's the catch? *blank stare*

Is it easy for someone to make you smile/laugh?
Only certain people.

What's been different this year?
Heh, what hasn't? So many things going on...

What was the last thing you drank?
Consuming a full throttle right now... @___@

Last place you hugged someone?
In my domain.

Who is the last person you talked to on the phone?
Coyote

Do you remember what you were like a year ago?
Sort of... not something I want to remember.

Do you have a good relationship with your ex?
It's called the non-existant kind. Neither good, nor bad.

Who are you missing the most right now?
Hey, women have their secrets...

Do you hate the last guy you had a conversation with?
Nope, he's one of my best guy friends.

How old are the first four people on your top?
(lol, irrelevant myspace-esque question...)

Who's the most entertaining person you know?
There's no "most entertaining"... everyone I'm around is a pleasure to spe... ]]> *Vampirestein http://Vampirestein.deviantart.com/journal/22033002/ http://Vampirestein.deviantart.com/journal/22033002/ Wed, 17 Dec 2008 13:43:02 PST but today it was nothing more than a nuisance.
Every drop a razor-tongued insult,
every splash a false word of affection.
The once beloved form of water
had become my tormentor in an instant.
Like tiny voices whispering unspoken truths to my ear,
truths that only a fool would deem unbelievable."


Rainstorms are beautiful, but I enjoy my fair weather days too. Sometimes happiness is found in the strangest of places.


]]> *Vampirestein http://Vampirestein.deviantart.com/journal/21963248/ http://Vampirestein.deviantart.com/journal/21963248/ Sat, 13 Dec 2008 11:58:45 PST


How much of a virgin are you?
Total: 100%
[ ] Smoked
[x] Drank alcohol ( holidays )
[x] Cried when someone died
[ ] Been drunk
[ ] Had sex
[ ] Been to a concert
[ ] Gotten/given a hand job
[ ] Gotten/given a blow job
[ ] Been verbally/sexually harassed
[ ] Verbally/sexually harassed somebody
Total left: 98%

[x] Felt someone up and/or been felt up (I am NOT fond of random grope-age)
[x] Laughed so hard something came out of your nose
[ ] Cheated on a boyfriend/girlfriend before
[x] Been cheated on by a boyfriend/girlfriend (Oh well)
[x] Been to formal/prom
[x] Cried at school
[ ] Gotten lost in a department store
[ ] Went streaking
[ ] Given or received a lap dance
[x] Had someone of the opposite sex in your room
Total left: 92%

[x] Had someone of the opposite sex sleep over
[ ] Slept over at someone of the opposite sex's house
[ ] Kissed a stranger
[ ] Hugged a stranger
[ ] Went scuba diving
[x] Driven a car
[x] Gotten an x-ray
[ ] Hit by a car
[ ] Had a party
[ ] Done serious drugs
Total left: 89%

[ ] Played strip poker/darts
[ ] Got paid to strip for someone
[ ] Ran away from home
[ ] Broken a bone
[x] Eaten sushi (Spam musubi! Nom nom nom)
[ ] Bought porn
[ ] Watched porn
[ ] Made porn
[ ] Had a crush on someone of the same sex
[x] Been in love (Once upon a time)
Total left: 87%

[ ] French kissed
[x] Laughed so hard you cried
[ ] Cried yourself to sleep
[ ] Laughed yourself to sleep
[ ] Stabbed yourself
[x] Shot a gun (It's quite fun actually)
[ ] Trash talked someone and then acted like their best friend the next day
[x] Been online for 9 consecutive hours (Term papers will do that to you...)
[ ] Watched TV for 9 consecutive hours
[ ] Watched an animal die
Total left: 84%

[ ] Watched a person die
[x] Kissed and/or messed around somewhere with at least 1 person
[ ] Pranked somebody
[ ] Put somebody in the hospital
[ ] Sneaked into someone's room and/or your own room after being out
[x] Kissed somebody of the same sex (Hey, SHE kissed me.)
[ ] Dressed punk
[ ] Dressed goth
[ ] Dressed preppy
[ ] Been to a motocross race
Total left: 82%

[ ] Avoided somebody
[x] Been stalked
[ ] Stalked someone
[ ] Met a celebrity
[x] Played an instrument
[x] Ridden a horse
[ ] Cut yourself
[ ] Bungee jumped
[ ] Ding dong ditched somebody
[ ] Been to a wild party
Total left: 79%

[ ] Been caught stealing something
[x] Kicked/punched a guy in the balls (Falcon PAUNCH!!)
[ ] Stolen a boyfriend/girlfriend from a friend (No, I leave that to other insecure people.)
[ ] Gone out with your friend's crush
[ ] Got arrested
[ ] Been pregnant
[x] Baby sat
[ ] Been to another country
[ ] Started your house on fire
[x] Had an encounter with a ghost
Total left: 76%

[x] Donated your hair to cancer patients
[x] Been asked out by someone that you never thought you'd be asked out by (How about at all?)
[ ] Cried over a member of the opposite sex
[ ] Had Boyfriend/girlfriend for over 2 months
[ ] Sat on your butt all day
[ ] Ate a whole carton of ice cream all by yourself
[x] Had a job
[ ] Gotten cut from a sports team
[x] Been called a whore (Jokingly... then I called her one back.)
[ ] Danced like a whore (What does that consist of, need I ask?)
Total left: 72%

[x] Been told you resemble a celebrity (I lol'd)
[ ] Been in a car accident
[x] Been told you have beautiful eyes
[x] Been told you have beautiful hair
[ ] Raped somebody
[x] Danced in the rain
[ ] Been rejected
[ ] Left a restaurant without paying
[x] Punched someone/slapped someone in the face (It called for worse... I say I handled that pretty well.)
[ ] Been raped
Total left = 67%

Alas, a grand total of 67 percent. O__o



This is The Guilty Game. Next to the questions, put your answers as either guilty or innocent. Guilty if you have, innocent if you haven't. The number of guilt's you have, is the number of years in prison you are sentenced to. Re-post with a headline stating how many years in prison you have....


1. Dated outside your race?
Guilty

2. Gotten a hickey?
Guilty

3. Dated your best friend?
Innocent

4. Sang in the shower?
Innocent

5. Spit in someone's drink?
Innocent
*Vampirestein http://Vampirestein.deviantart.com/journal/21581145/ http://Vampirestein.deviantart.com/journal/21581145/ Thu, 20 Nov 2008 12:34:45 PST Date: 11/20/2008
Colorgenics Number: 05723164
----------------------------
The idea of togetherness, love, warmth, tenderness and mutual understanding fascinates you but you seem to be embarrassed by the thought of allowing this to appear openly. It would appear that you employ a cautious exploratory tactic in the pursuit of this objective, making sure that you are neither irrevocably committed nor found out.

(Sure... to a certain point I guess.)

You want what you want and you need all that you want and, as they say in the movies, you are the sort of individual that 'By hook or by crook' you will, by fair means or foul, endeavour to get what you are looking for.

(Now that's not true.) >: P

Everyone, sooner or later gets that feeling that one has been cut off from reality, cut off from everything that's going on around them. It usually happens when there is a complete lack of understanding and co-operation - be it from friends, family or loved ones. So what can one do about it? Instead of pondering as to what the future may hold, do something different. Make a cup of coffee. Have a shower. Read a book. Watch your favourite soap opera. Because as soon as you become involved in something different, the original disassociated feelings will dissipate.

(Mmmmm... coffee...)

You pretend that you are a carefree individual and that nothing really bothers you - that you are so self-sufficient that whatever problems beset you they simply flow off you as water flows off a ducks back. You are experiencing considerable stress, trying to conceal yourself from the rest of the world. In actual fact - deep down, you are not at all happy. You feel lonely and you need someone with whom you can 'Let your hair down' and share your hopes, dreams and high standards. You are imposing unnecessary self restraint on yourself. You would like to demonstrate the unique quality of your character to all and sundry.

(*sigh*)

You are moody and depressed at this time but it will pass. All of your hopes and dreams seem to have gone astray and you are fearful of planning further for the future. Disappointment at the non fulfilment of your hopes and the fear that to formulate fresh goals will only lead to further setbacks have resulted in considerable anxiety and you try to escape from this by withdrawing into yourself. But that is not the answer. You have the power to succeed, believe in yourself... all is possible to him who believes.

(No kidding. BELIEVE IT! lol)

----------------------------------------------------

You go NAO!!!! XD

[link]

]]> *Vampirestein http://Vampirestein.deviantart.com/journal/20876528/ http://Vampirestein.deviantart.com/journal/20876528/ Tue, 07 Oct 2008 15:41:29 PDT
(*****Disclaimer*****)
I do NOT intend to offend or harm anyone by posting this information... there are certain sections in which it implies a male abuser, that is just in regards to what has been reported. Men are victims of domestic violence as well, but because of ego issues at times, they are less likely to report the incident.
~~~~~
In the United States a woman is battered (beaten) every 12 seconds. Women also batter but not at a frequent rate as men and the violence is rarely reported by men.

Recent studies have shown the 33% of married couples have reported one or more instances of physical assault in their relationship.

The only person that can stop the abuse is the abuser himself.
He is solely responsible for the abuse but it does affect the entire family. He does not have the right to hit, demean you or any members of your family in any fashion.
Domestic violence is usually not a one time event or isolated incident.

Once violence begins in a relationship, it gets worse and more frequent over periods of time.

Exposure to Domestic Violence will emotionally impair children.
Many assaults last for hours.

The three primary weapons used in Domestic Violence are hands, feet and fists.

57% of teens know friends or peers who have been physically, sexually or verbally abused.

31% of American women have reported being physically or sexually abused by their husband or boyfriend at sometime in their lives.

39% of surveyed Hispanic women in Texas have reported experiencing severe abuse and 77% of all Hispanic Texans indicate that either themselves, a family member and/or a friend have experienced some form of domestic violence (5.2 Million).

In 2005 there were 13,129 family violence incidents in San Antonio.. Bexar County added 1,317 more. Only 2,626 arrests were made. Arrests have stayed basically the same over the past few years but reported incidents have risen more than 3000 since 2001.

In early October in San Antonio there were 120 women and children living in the two women's shelters in town.

San Antonio ranks tied in 2nd place with Houston for the most Domestic violence cases in Texas so far this year. We will have more than last year.

A murder of intimate partners is at an all time high in the US. So far this year in San Antonio there have been 11 reported murders of women of the nearly 100 murders committed.

There are nearly three times as many animal shelters in the
United States as there are shelters for battered women and their children.

1,500 women are murdered each year in the US by current or past intimate partners.

1,100 childhood deaths from abuse each year.

1.7 million Reports of child abuse each year.

16% of adult women report a history of sexual abuse by a family member.

Women stay in abusive relationships because of Love and Hope. She thinks she can change him and the beatings will stop.

They also stay because of fear because of the constant threats of killing her and the children or family members if she leaves.

Religion is another reason…The bible says to love, honor and obey and divorce is not acceptable.

She is also embarrassed by the beatings and doesn't want her family to find out.

]]> *Vampirestein http://Vampirestein.deviantart.com/journal/20539685/ http://Vampirestein.deviantart.com/journal/20539685/ Wed, 17 Sep 2008 15:27:26 PDT My brother sustained an injury at work that is causing him to lose bits of his memory... since that day, I've wondered about memory loss and the like. I recalled sitting in a general Psychology class and learning about the various sections of the brain and their functions. Then I had a 'unicorn'...(a random thought) when people lose their memory from injury or defficency, is that fate's way of telling you to forget certain things? Eh...? EH??!?!?! I dunno... like I said... random.

Anywho, more art will be up soon after I weed out more phony people and liars. *waves*

Love to my deviant family!

]]> *Vampirestein http://Vampirestein.deviantart.com/journal/20333545/ http://Vampirestein.deviantart.com/journal/20333545/ Thu, 04 Sep 2008 23:52:48 PDT I am very much a solitary person, a "lone wolf that runs along side a pack, but never joins" as someone described not too long ago. When it comes to the "pack I run alongside," the members are from diverse backgrounds, all but two are not of my blood. I don't wonder where the rest of my blood pack went... I know full well that they are horrendously selfish and cruel; vicious and vindictive. Now I ask, how could one turn on their own family?
The people that I (try to) associate with are ones of loyalty and heart, and I have found those in the most strange places at different points in my life. For this I am ever-grateful.
This in turn brings me to another point I need to get out there:
Why are 98 percent of college kids (yes, I said kids) so stuck on keeping the mentality of a highschool student? It drives me to the brink of insanity (I'm exaggerating) with their little cliques and little pissy emo gossip parties. Newsflash, I don't care who doesn't like me where or hanging out with who. It only needs my attention if someone's life is being threatened. Other than that, I won't be the one sitting around at the end of the day, letting negative energy eat away at my existance... I leave that to those of "bitchassness."

So just to make myself feel better (and in a round about way, kill you with kindness) Much love to everyone out there, including my "self proclaimed enemies"... you obviously need it.


~Gardenia

]]> *Vampirestein http://Vampirestein.deviantart.com/journal/20095769/ http://Vampirestein.deviantart.com/journal/20095769/ Fri, 22 Aug 2008 12:48:04 PDT
Ah, now if I can find those WIP's to finish them, it'll all be good.

]]> *Vampirestein http://Vampirestein.deviantart.com/journal/19661144/ http://Vampirestein.deviantart.com/journal/19661144/ Tue, 29 Jul 2008 12:42:25 PDT


And thanks for all the love, support, and concern folks. Hope y'all are having a great summer so far.

-Gardenia

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Vincent" by Don McLean

Starry
starry night
paint your palette blue and grey

look out on a summer's day
with eyes that know the
darkness in my soul.
Shadows on the hills
sketch the trees and the daffodils

catch the breeze and the winter chills

in colors on the snowy linen land.
And now I understand what you tried to say to me

how you suffered for your sanity
how you tried to set them free.
They would not listen
they did not know how

perhaps they'll listen now.

Starry
starry night
flaming flo'rs that brightly blaze

swirling clouds in violet haze reflect in
Vincent's eyes of China blue.
Colors changing hue
morning fields of amber grain

weathered faces lined in pain
are soothed beneath the artist's
loving hand.
And now I understand what you tried to say to me

how you suffered for your sanity
how you tried to set them free.
perhaps they'll listen now.

For they could not love you
but still your love was true

and when no hope was left in sight on that starry
starry night.
You took your life
as lovers often do;
But I could have told you
Vincent
this world was never
meant for one
as beautiful as you.

Starry
starry night
portraits hung in empty halls

frameless heads on nameless walls
with eyes
that watch the world and can't forget.
Like the stranger that you've met

the ragged men in ragged clothes

the silver thorn of bloddy rose
lie crushed and broken
on the virgin snow.
And now I think I know what you tried to say to me

how you suffered for your sanity

how you tried to set them free.
They would not listen
they're not
list'ning still
perhaps they never will.

]]> *Vampirestein http://Vampirestein.deviantart.com/journal/18968542/ http://Vampirestein.deviantart.com/journal/18968542/ Sat, 21 Jun 2008 14:43:14 PDT
But I digress, I've found some wonderful people on here and reunited with some old and loyal friends as well. It may not seem like much, but the pleasant chatting through comments about artworks and faves is more than just that... it's proof that there are decent beings in the world! So to all those gloom-and-doom-my-life-is-soooo-horrible people that complain all the time, really think about the situation and if it's worth all that negative energy you're putting into it. And who knows, you might even find out that the stress you're fretting about was created by none other than yourself.

Good people exist, you just can't push them away!

Much love and thanks to those that have me on their watch list and random viewers of my (hopefully growing) gallery.

]]> *Vampirestein http://Vampirestein.deviantart.com/journal/18619760/ http://Vampirestein.deviantart.com/journal/18619760/ Mon, 02 Jun 2008 00:39:20 PDT *is glad she found another fan of the un-loved pairing*
Speaking of, congrats to her for getting married (soon I assume?)... I'll hold off the paparazzi as long as possible.

Hmm, tearing down walls... I've been reading this wonderful book by Dr. Don Colbert called "Deadly Emotions" which goes over the physical aspects of volitile emotions and how they can be tied to diseases and illnesses. I made a few connections to what I've been physically and emotionally feeling. The severe chest pains (could be heart condition, but I refuse to go to a doctor to find out... would rather not know) could be a result of holding on to some source of anger or depression, which makes sense I believe. If you think about it, when we are sad or depressed, we make comments of a broken HEART. See the pattern?

*yawns* okay, guess that's enough ranting for now...
'till then!


post scriptum:
"You got me thinking about the past, and it all was but a year ago."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Never Alone"
by Barlow Girl

I waited for you today
But you didn't show
No no no
I needed You today
So where did You go?
You told me to call
Said You'd be there
And though I haven't seen You
Are You still there?
I cried out with no reply
And I can't feel You by my side
So I'll hold tight to what I know
You're here and I"m never alone
And though I cannot see You
And I can't explain why
Such a deep, deep reassurance
You've placed in my life
We cannot separate
'Cause You're part of me
And though You're invisible
I'll trust the unseen
We cannot separate
You're part of me
And though You're invisible
I'll trust the unseen

]]> *Vampirestein http://Vampirestein.deviantart.com/journal/18294818/ http://Vampirestein.deviantart.com/journal/18294818/ Mon, 12 May 2008 18:31:50 PDT


Now how did you manage to obtain the Distant Sky King so quickly?

]]> *Vampirestein http://Vampirestein.deviantart.com/journal/18142212/ http://Vampirestein.deviantart.com/journal/18142212/ Sat, 03 May 2008 01:12:54 PDT
The semester is coming to a close as are a few sources in my personal life. That which I can do just fine without. (Ha, I never do ask anything of anyone yet, the burden of their choice is placed upon me) So I'm a bit tense and edgey of late, impatient with those around me... perhaps it's a "comfort zone" as she likes to call it, but I think it's just the lack of tolerance with fools now. I reached my limit prior to starting a new life and those barriers are slowly being broken down by people... others quite forcefully not by my choice of course. They exist for a reason dear madame!

Upcoming projects:
"So We've Been Kicked Out of Hell..." comic that will live up to a series of 4koma (that's four panels per situation, kids) with a running joke of how Hell is unable to tolerate the likes of myself and various people I know. Certainly there will be special appearances by unsuspecting people of my choice... *evil laugh*

Aaaaaaand, more fan art... I've been neglecting that part, so expect some Outlaw Star (long forgotten), more Hellsing, and whatever the hell else I can think of...

]]> *Vampirestein http://Vampirestein.deviantart.com/journal/17943686/ http://Vampirestein.deviantart.com/journal/17943686/ Sun, 20 Apr 2008 12:13:48 PDT
anywho, things and people that I've encountered in the past are best left there. Almost done with some pieces, especially the one for my princess!~ <3

]]> *Vampirestein http://Vampirestein.deviantart.com/journal/17597551/ http://Vampirestein.deviantart.com/journal/17597551/ Sun, 30 Mar 2008 21:19:36 PDT Bah, enough of that rant... I have sketches to finish and a surprise to complete for my princess!

I usually don't care for this type of music, but it applies...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Damaged"
by Danity Kane

Do-do you got a first aid kit handy
Do-do you know how to patch up a wound
Tell me, are you patient, understanding?
Cause I might need some time to clear the hole in my heart and I

I've tried every remedy and nothing seems to work for me

Baby, this situation's driving me crazy
And I really wanna be your lady
But the one before you left me so

Damaged, Damaged
I thought that I should let you know
That my heart is Damaged
So Damaged
And you can blame the one before

So how you gonna fix it, fix it, fix it
How you gonna fix it, fix it, fix it
Baby I gotta know
What are you gonna do

Do-do you got a first aid kit handy
Do-do you know how to patch up a wound tell me
Are you-Are you patient, understanding?
Cause I might need some time to clear the hold on my heart and I

You try to gain my trust
Talking is not enough
Actions speak louder than words
You gotta show me something
My heart is missing some pieces
I need this puzzle put together again

Can you fix my h-e-a-r-t
Cause it's d-a-m-a-g-e-d
Can you fix my h-e-a-r-t

Tell me are you up for the challenge
Cause my heart is damaged

So how you gonna fix it, fix it, fix it
How you gonna fix it, fix it, fix it
How you gonna fix it, fix it, fix it
How you gonna fix it, fix it, fix it

My heart is damaged, damaged, damaged
My heart is damaged, damaged, damaged
My heart is damaged, damaged, damaged
My heart is damaged, damaged, damaged
My heart is damaged

]]> *Vampirestein http://Vampirestein.deviantart.com/journal/17475625/ http://Vampirestein.deviantart.com/journal/17475625/ Sun, 23 Mar 2008 13:33:10 PDT
Good news is:
It's almost over...

Bad news is:
It's almost over...

More or less I'll need things to fill my time when the semester ends, but I've got some graduation present shopping to think about (You already have yours in waiting, little bro).
Now, I shall anxiously await the time I'll be able to see someone. It's one of those situations where I need to know what's left to salvage, if anything.

]]> *Vampirestein http://Vampirestein.deviantart.com/journal/16966714/ http://Vampirestein.deviantart.com/journal/16966714/ Tue, 19 Feb 2008 17:54:27 PST I swore I was "asexual"...

then why--?

Oh well.


I've gotten over some strange issues, come across some interesting people...

life is quirky.

Oh, I'm so playing the Phoenix Wright series over again and~ I fell in love with the Adrian and Franziska pairing... it's just too perfect. :3 Gawd, I'm such a lesbian...
XD

]]> *Vampirestein http://Vampirestein.deviantart.com/journal/16705653/ http://Vampirestein.deviantart.com/journal/16705653/ Sun, 03 Feb 2008 11:28:29 PST
Basically, school and personal affairs have been gnawing at my time... hopefully I can upload some stuff soon.


[ACK! MY EYE BURNS!!!!!!!]

>.<


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"I've Got to See You Again"
by Norah Jones

Lines on your face don't bother me
Down in my chair when you dance over me
I can't help myself
I've got to see you again

Late in the night when I'm all alone
And I look at the clock and I know you're not home
I can't help myself
I've got to see you again
I could almost go there
Just to watch you be seen
I could almost go there
Just to live in a dream

But no I won't go for any of those things
To not touch your skin is not why I sing
I can't help myself
I've got to see you again

I could almost go there
Just to watch you be seen
I could almost go there
Just to live in a dream

No I won't go to share you with them
But oh even though I know where
you've been
I can't help myself
I've got to see you again

]]> *Vampirestein http://Vampirestein.deviantart.com/journal/16251789/ http://Vampirestein.deviantart.com/journal/16251789/ Fri, 04 Jan 2008 08:11:54 PST
I know a few people are happy that I'm not leaving... but the cost was great. (Figuratively speaking of course.) I'm losing a sister, and I honestly hope that she'll be okay. There are sick people out there folks... you gotta be careful with whom you trust. So now there is a slight void again, but with a mindset of protecting and being there for others... the pain is next to nothing.



Belated New Years Wishes!


Hope you're getting all that family time in during the break. I'm still gonna kick you for letting your mom cook on her own birthday.


Holy crap girl, did I get you in trouble again by feeding you? O___o Well whatever the case is, we still miss you around the house... you and your white-ness. Let's hope you get paroled soon... I think that would be a fitting gift for the holidays, no?


Yeeeeah, about that... *stares* when the hell are we gonna hang out like great big bitches? Hope you were at least safe during the holidays, Mrs. Sudds.


Jeanne, hope all is well with you, Brian, and your fetus. Look how fast the time went by! O.o Best wishes to a healthy baby!


You've been such a wonderful friend, Des---er... Kairi. ^_^; You've shown me true friendship even when arguments have reared their ugly-arse heads... I think it made our bond stronger. Best of luck to you and Panda! May your relationship flourish for years to come.


Hey, you're awesome... what can I say? I love your sense of humor and your artwork... naturally, I fave a lot of your stuff and look at them daily to admire or simply laugh. Hang in there with your studies, it's almost over. Much love to ya!


Welcome back. Let's hope this new year brings some positive changes that will pave a road to happiness.



Now that my coffee is almost done, and I'm lookin' forward to another refill before I get to work... yes, caffeine is a beautiful thing... I'll be posting some work later on tonight and maybe more of the Silent Hill Project if y'all are good boys and girls. *wink*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Who Knew"
by Pink

You took my hand
You showed me how
You promised me
You'd be around
Uh huh
That's right
I took your words
And I believed
In everything
You said to me
Yeah huh
That's right
If someone said three years from now
You'd be long gone
I'd stand up and punch them out
Cause they're all wrong
I know better
'Cause you said forever
And ever
Who knew
Remember when
We were such fools
And so convinced
And just too cool
Oh no,
No no.
I wish I could touch you again
I wish I could still call you a friend
I'd give anything
When... ]]> *Vampirestein http://Vampirestein.deviantart.com/journal/15934384/ http://Vampirestein.deviantart.com/journal/15934384/ Fri, 14 Dec 2007 17:27:03 PST Trailer

I fricken cried in the movie...


Spoilers here, so don't read if you haven't seen it or don't mind spoilers:












In his, (the main character's) moments of being awake under the knife, he walks through his childhood residence as the lights turn off one by one. Every source of light burns out while his surgeons are botching his transplant, up until his conscience lays on his bed and the lamp goes out. The flick of a match and his mother's face appears and the room is brightened by a cigaret. (His mom was alive and well mind you) He asks why she is there and from then, it is explained on how she found out how corrupt his new wife and his surgeon friend were. Scenes switch frequently back and forth to how his mother killed his father to protect the main character then to one of the unexpected surgeons not affiliated with trying to kill the main character finding the mother dead in the cafeteria from an overdose. (A desperate and loving act to give her son her heart, seeing that they had the same rare blood type.) The new transplant goes smoothly when the mother's preferred surgeon arrives and figures out the first botched transplant.

The mother gave her life to make sure her son's life would continue...

I watched that happen and cried, because I knew that my mother would do the same for me...

]]> *Vampirestein http://Vampirestein.deviantart.com/journal/15826479/ http://Vampirestein.deviantart.com/journal/15826479/ Thu, 06 Dec 2007 19:36:18 PST
You can love her, but it doesn't mean you have to like her...

what the bloody hell do you know? Just because I give a damn about my family and have ups and downs doesn't mean I'm gonna up and leave. I find spending my time with them more important than outings with so called friends. This is my place, whether people want to mock and lessen my love for them or tell me otherwise... that I should have gone away...

shut up.

You don't know shit.

What heart I do have, whatever was salvaged, tells me I am to be with my family.

Oh... and I was feeling a little awkward today, so:

"Don't call me Nymphadora!"



]]> *Vampirestein http://Vampirestein.deviantart.com/journal/15700733/ http://Vampirestein.deviantart.com/journal/15700733/ Tue, 27 Nov 2007 21:54:40 PST
things just haven't been the same in my mind...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Anytime" by
Brian McKnight

I can't remember why we fell apart
From something that was so meant to be, yeah
Forever was the promise in our hearts
Now, more and more I wonder where you are
Do I ever cross your mind, anytime
Do you ever wake up reaching out for me
Do I ever cross your mind anytime
I miss you
Still have your picture in a frame
Hear your footsteps down the hall
I swear I hear your voice, driving me insane
How I wish that you would call
To say
I miss you
I miss you
(No more) loneliness and heartache
(No more) crying myself to sleep
(Don't want no more) wondering about tomorrow
Won't you come back to me
Come back to me, oh
I miss you
I miss you
I miss you



(I probably posted this before... too bad)


"Show Me Love" by
t.A.T.u.

This was an accident
Not the kind where sirens sound
Never even noticed
We're suddenly crumbling

Tell me how you've never felt
Delicate or innocent
Do you still have doubts that
Us having faith makes any sense

Tell me nothing ever counts
Lashing out or breaking down
Still somebody loses 'cause
There's no way to turn around

Staring at your photograph
Everything now in the past
Never felt so lonely I
Wish that you could show me love

Show me love, show me love, show me love,
Show me love, show me love
'Til you open the door

Show me love, show me love, show me
love,
Show me love, show me love,
'Til I'm up off the floor

Show me love, show me love show me love,
Show me love, show me love,
'Til it's inside my pores

Show me love, show me love, show me love,
Show me love, show me love,
'Til I'm screaming for more

Random acts of mindlessness
Commonplace occurrences
Chances and surprises
Another state of consciousness

Tell me nothing ever counts
Lashing out or breaking down
Still somebody loses 'cause
There's no way to turn around

Tell me how you've never felt
Delicate or innocent
Do you still have doubts that
Us having faith makes any sense

You play games, I play tricks
Girls and girls, but you're the one
Like a game of pick-up sticks
Played by fucking lunatics

Show me love, show me love
Give me all that I want
Show me love, Show me love
'Til I'm screaming for more

]]> *Vampirestein http://Vampirestein.deviantart.com/journal/15436635/ http://Vampirestein.deviantart.com/journal/15436635/ Fri, 09 Nov 2007 15:48:02 PST




GRANTED


Yes, a heavy burden has been lifted from my heart.
No longer will I feel the weighing and tugging.
No longer will I be cursed.
No longer will left side burn in agonizing hatred...


I am me now... everything is how it was suposed to be.

I have the Johnson name now.

I am me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


"Angels"
by Within Temptation

Sparkling angel
I believe
You are my saviour
In my time of need

Blinded by faith
I couldn't hear
All the whispers
The warning's so clear

I see the angels
I'll lead them to your door
There is no escape now
Now mercy no more

No remorse 'cause I still remember
The smile when you tore me apart

You took my heart
Deceived me right from the start
You showed me dreams
I wished they'd turn to real
You broke the promise
And made me realise
It was all just a lie

Sparkling angel
Couldn't see
Your dark intentions
Your feelings for me

Fallen angel
Tell me why?
What is the reason?
The thorn in your eye

I see the angels
I'll lead them to your door
There is no escape now
No mercy no more

No remorse 'cause I still remember
The smile when you tore me apart

Could have been forever
Now we have reached the end

This world may have failed you
It doesn't give the reason why
You could have chosen
A different path of life

The smile when you tore me apart

You took my heart
Deceived me right from the start
You showed me dreams
I wished they'd turn in to real
You broke a promise
And made me realise
It was all just a lie

Could have been forever
Now we have reached the end

]]> *Vampirestein http://Vampirestein.deviantart.com/journal/15346266/ http://Vampirestein.deviantart.com/journal/15346266/ Sat, 03 Nov 2007 12:50:36 PDT
So I've been feeling a little lost... big deal.

I think the theme for this month is:

Telling some people some things and telling others something completely different or not at all.



Maybe I'm overreacting... I don't know...



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"What Have You Done" by Within Temptation

Would you mind if I hurt you
Understand that I need to
Wish that I had other choices
Than to hurt the one I love

What have you done now?

I know I'd better stop trying
You know that there's no denying
I won't show mercy on you now

I know I should stop believing
I know that there's no retrieving
It's over now
What have you done?

What have you done now?

I, I've been waiting for someone like you
But now you are slipping away
What have you done now?
Why? Why does Fate make us suffer?
There's a curse between us
Between me and you

What have you done
What have you done now
What have you done
What have you done now

Would you mind if I killed you?
Would you mind if I tried to?

Cause you have turned into my worst enemy
You carry hate that I don't feel
It's over now
What have you done?

What have you done now?

I, I've been waiting for someone like you
But now you are slipping away
What have you done now?
Why? Why does Fate make us suffer?
There's a curse between us
Between me and you

What have you done
What have you done now
What have you done
What have you done now

I will not fall
Won't let it go
We will be free
When it ends

I, I've been waiting for someone like you
But now you are slipping away
What have you done now?
Why? Why does Fate make us suffer?
There's a curse between us
Between me and you

]]> *Vampirestein http://Vampirestein.deviantart.com/journal/15215573/ http://Vampirestein.deviantart.com/journal/15215573/ Thu, 25 Oct 2007 12:47:45 PDT
]]> *Vampirestein http://Vampirestein.deviantart.com/journal/15048742/ http://Vampirestein.deviantart.com/journal/15048742/ Sat, 13 Oct 2007 19:21:03 PDT it's a constant argument within myself.


That's the problem with being able to control your emotions... sometimes they're controlled too well and you forget what to feel and when.


Oh, the line art and rendering for the second half of Novaya Model is almost done; and I'm sketching the Obscura Twins... (as you know, Whip never had a last name, therefore I created one... besides the fact that there is no evidence of who is older than who (K' and Whip) I decided to make them twins.) Hopefully it will get colored and not remain black and white...


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Placebo Effect"
by Siouxsie and the Banshees

You dip your hands into my flesh
And say you won't reveal a scar
I must have faith in this procedure
It's a miracle-It's a wonder

A thousand hidden needles
In a thousand covered nerves
Stick pins in my receptacles
Look to your Voodoo doll-your mojo

Staying alive at five
For you to cure my ailments
Another soul is saved
With your bogus medications

What colour shall we have today?
Depends on how you feel I say
Consult your research on the media
See blue will calm my hysteria

Staying alive at five
For you to cure my ailments
Another soul is saved
With your bogus medications
Staying alive at five
With your empty containers
Another corpse ornaments your waiting room
A placebo effect reversed

Will you ever regret-the placebo effect
Can you ever forget-the placebo effect

]]> *Vampirestein http://Vampirestein.deviantart.com/journal/14731980/ http://Vampirestein.deviantart.com/journal/14731980/ Fri, 21 Sep 2007 17:16:24 PDT
I really want to work on some stuff, but can't find the motivation.

*yawns*

Ugh, too tired... maybe I'll go take a nap if it quiets down a bit--- or go play some Guitar Hero.


X________x


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Syunikiss"
by Malice Mizer

Hold on...you're gonna be okey...
Sombody...help us...

Ah...the phrase I cried in your last moments was the one you kept repeating
Was your prayer answered?...You lie before me as you are in my memories
Ah...your words are the final words that no one should know
I was passing by and now embrace you, with a trembling finger I trace your cheek

Ah...kimi ga kuri-kaesu hitorigoto wa kimi no saigo ni boku ga sakenda kotoba
Inori ga tadoita no ka...me no mai ni kioku no mama no kimi ga iru
Ah...kimi ga kuri-kaesu hitorigoto wa dare mo shiru hazu mo nai saigo no kotoba
Kake-yotta boku wa kimi o daki furueru yubi de hoho o nazoru

Ah...to the lord who dwells in the sky that granted my prayers
I make one more wish "Return to her her heart"

Ah...boku no negai o kanaete kureta sora ni yadoru aruji e
Mou ichido negai o kanaete "Kanojo ni kokoro o modoshite"

You gaze at the sky with lifeless eyes
As if you know the place to which you must return

Sumetai hitomi de sora o mitsumeteru
Kaeru beki bashou o shitte iru ka no youni

To the lord who dwells in the sky that granted my prayers
I make one more wish "Return to her her heart"

Ah...boku no negai o kanaete kureta sora ni yadoru aruji e
Mou ichido negai o kanaete "Kanojo ni kokoro o modoshite"

To the lord who dwells in the sky that granted my prayers
I make one final wish "Let her rest in peace"

Ah...boku no negai o kanaete kureta sora ni yadoru aruji e
Saigo no negai o kanaete "Kanojo o yasuraka ni nemurasete"

With cold fingers I trace the tearstains on your cheek
In a trembling voice "Return to the sky" I repeat

Sumetai yubi de namida no ato o nazoru
Furueru koe de "Sora ni kaeshite" to kuri-kaesu

]]> *Vampirestein http://Vampirestein.deviantart.com/journal/14691444/ http://Vampirestein.deviantart.com/journal/14691444/ Tue, 18 Sep 2007 17:45:37 PDT

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Combat Baby"
by Metric

We used to leave the blue lights on and there was a beat
Ever since you have been gone it's all caffeine-free
Faux punk fatigues
Said it all before
They try to kick it, their feet fall asleep
Get no harm done no
None of them want to fight me

Combat baby come back baby
Fight off the lethargy
Don't go quietly
Combat baby
Said you would never give up easy
Combat baby come back

Get back in town I wanna paint it black
Wanna get around
Easy living crowd so flat
Said it all before
They try to kick it, their feet fall asleep
I want to be wrong but
No one here wants to fight me like you do

Combat baby come back baby
Fight off the lethargy
Don't go quietly
Combat baby
Said you would never give up easy
Combat baby come back

I try to be so nice
Compromise
Who gets it good?
Every mighty mild seventies child
Every mighty mild seventies child
Beats me

Do doo doo doo

Combat baby come back baby
Combat baby come back
Bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye baby
Combat baby come back

How I miss your ranting
Do you miss my all time lows

]]> *Vampirestein http://Vampirestein.deviantart.com/journal/14634647/ http://Vampirestein.deviantart.com/journal/14634647/ Fri, 14 Sep 2007 18:10:39 PDT
bottom line...

I'm fucking lost.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Lacrymosa"
by Evanescence


Out on your own,
Cold and alone again.
Can this be what you really wanted, baby?

Blame it on me,
Set your guilt free.
Nothing can hold you back now.

Now that you're gone,
I feel like myself again.
Grieving the things I can't repair and willing...

To let you blame it on me,
And set your guilt free.
I don't want to hold you back now love.

I can't change who I am.
Not this time, I won't lie to keep you near me.
And in this short life, there's no time to waste on giving up.
My love wasn't enough.

And you can blame it on me,
Just set your guilt free, honey.
I don't want to hold you back now love

]]> *Vampirestein http://Vampirestein.deviantart.com/journal/14594148/ http://Vampirestein.deviantart.com/journal/14594148/ Tue, 11 Sep 2007 18:15:28 PDT
But I realized something today...

...you can't count on people worth shit. It's always okay for people to ask of a dog, of course, the dog will help. But when assistance is asked for in return, the dog is left to sit and wonder.

No more.

You can't expect something from nothing, plain and simple. The people that were oh-so worried about me before I was to leave sure showed their true colors.

I'm through with believing this guy because I know he was playing on my emotions, so forget you.

I'm through with trying to help people learn what reality is, you want to drown in that cess pool of misery, go ahead. I can't keep jumping in to try and save you.

I'm through with fly-by-night people that claim to be "family". You're not worth a damn to me if you can't get my back when I do nothing but break mine for you.

Bottom line, to those that have crossed me,

FUCK YOU!





I'm gonna go spend time with mom and dad.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Friend or Foe"
by t.A.T.u.

Is it too late
Nothing to salvage
You look away
Clear all the damage

The meaning to
All words of love
Has disappeared
We used to love one another
Give to each other
Lie under covers so,
Are you friend or foe

Love one another
Live for each other
So, are you friend or foe
Cause I used to know

The promises
Hollow concessions
And innocent show of affection
I touch your hand
A hologram
Are you still there
We used to love one another
Give to each other
Lie under covers so,
Are you friend or foe

Love one another
Live for each other
So, are you friend or foe
Cause I used to know
Is it too late
Nothing to salvage
You look away
Clear all the damage
The meaning to
All words of love
Has disappeared
We used to love one another
Give to each other
Lie under covers so,
Are you friend or foe

Love one another
Live for each other
So, are you friend or foe
Cause I used to know

]]> *Vampirestein http://Vampirestein.deviantart.com/journal/14460767/ http://Vampirestein.deviantart.com/journal/14460767/ Sun, 02 Sep 2007 19:01:28 PDT
I did not leave Texas,
I'm attending a junior college,
and I feel like shit for parting with someone who was/and still is a big part of my life.

I know what I did was important to do for myself, but in a round about way, I might have hurt her in the process. God, I feel so horrible, and another guilt has locked its chain to my blackened heart.

Maybe she was right... have i hardened so much that it's a strain for me to cry? To show my feelings? Am I at that point where my emotions are hidden and never to be shown?
Honestly...

...it scares me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(besides the fact that this is a little gender-bending, it pertains to a lot)

"Make Me Better"
by: Fabolous ft. Ne-Yo

I'm a movement by myself.
But I'm a force when we're together.
Mami I'm good all by myself.
But baby you, you make me better.
You make me better.
You make me better.
You make me better.
You make me better.
You make me better.
You make me better.
You make me better.
You make me better.

You plus me, it equals better math.
Ya boy a good look but, she my better half.
I'm already bossin', already flossin'.
But why I have the cake if it ain't got the sweet frostin'? (yep yep yep yep).
Keepin' me on my A game (what what what what).
Without havin' the same name (they they they they they).
They may flame (but but but but).
But shawty, we burn it up.
The sag in my swag, pep in my step.
Daddy do the Gucci, mami in Giuseppes.
Yes it's a G thing, whenever we swing.
I'mma need Coretta Scott, if I'm gonna be King.

First thing's first, I does what I do.
But everything I am, she's my influ.
I'm already boss, I'm already fly.
But if I'm a star, she is the sky (ah ah ah).
And when I feel like I'm on top (she she she).
She give me reason to not stop (eh eh eh eh eh).
And though I'm hot (too too too).
Together we burn it up.


The caked up cut, the cleaned up ice.
When shawty come around, I clean up nice.
Dynamic duo, Batman and Robin.
Whoever don't like it, it's that man problem (eh eh eh).
And when I feel like I'm tired (ma ma ma).
Mami be takin' me higher (ah ah ah ah ah).
I'm on fire (but but but).
But shawty we burn it up.


And she treats me like a Don, watches for the hit.
Checks where I go, even watches who I'm with.
The right when I'm wrong, so I never slip.
Show me how to move, that's why I never trip.
And baby girl, you're so major, they should front-page ya (front page ya).
God bless the parents who made you (who made you).
Middle fingered anybody who hate the,
Way that we burn it up.

]]> *Vampirestein http://Vampirestein.deviantart.com/journal/14191339/ http://Vampirestein.deviantart.com/journal/14191339/ Thu, 16 Aug 2007 06:18:47 PDT No matter how much I wish there was more time with her... with them...
it can't happen. I know in my heart, my pathetic, breaking heart that I can't stay. Not now.

It hurts to know that I'm breaking from the inside.

I know I'll be there alone.

]]> *Vampirestein http://Vampirestein.deviantart.com/journal/14065153/ http://Vampirestein.deviantart.com/journal/14065153/ Tue, 07 Aug 2007 19:24:58 PDT
]]> *Vampirestein http://Vampirestein.deviantart.com/journal/13928769/ http://Vampirestein.deviantart.com/journal/13928769/ Sun, 29 Jul 2007 14:51:12 PDT From now, I only have 18 more days here... yes people, we are down to DAYS!

I'm scared shitless about how it'll all go down. As I'm packing my room up, it tends to get to me.

"I'm leaving... this is really happening..."

The life as I once knew it will change drastically,

I can't be there for them... I won't be able to protect them...

so

far

away...

Can't help but think about the times mom will be crying and no one is there to hold her,
when my were-kitteh needs a shoulder to cry on,
when my little Kula needs a shoulder to sleep on;
when my Emo King needs to get out of the house,
when Hildi needs someone to kick some ass,
when teh strawberry needs a punch to the face;
when the clevage of doom needs a little advice,
when a certain moon-gazer misses me...

I can't be there.

so

far

away

]]> *Vampirestein http://Vampirestein.deviantart.com/journal/13484802/ http://Vampirestein.deviantart.com/journal/13484802/ Mon, 25 Jun 2007 11:50:57 PDT
Goddamn it...here I was thinking that it could work... whatever. I know what I did was right. I'm just sorry if he was hurt.

Reality sucks kids. But ignorance is not bliss.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I miss my Leona.... T___T
she's been gone for too long, although I may want to steal every moment for myself with her, I can't. >.<
shit happens.

Good news is, I think mom will be okay when I leave. She won't be alone... and that's good. I certainly don't want her around that fake, lying, no-good, cheating bastard.
*takes a deep breath*

O__________o

now I gotta go to wal-mart and shop for undies 'n such.




oh, and sorry folks, artwork will be up when I can get it here... no scanner still and school has ended. I've been inspired to do a small series now. (aside from the Silent Hill one)

]]> *Vampirestein http://Vampirestein.deviantart.com/journal/13068699/ http://Vampirestein.deviantart.com/journal/13068699/ Wed, 23 May 2007 20:31:01 PDT Why is it that everytime I think there's to be a slowed down time period, calm or just peaceful, something fucked up ALWAYS HAS TO HAPPEN!

I simply don't get along with some people...
I have people that follow me for hell knows why...
I should be feeling so alive but I'm not.


frustrated, irritated, and filled with hatred.

I'm gonna go feckin' cry now.

]]> *Vampirestein http://Vampirestein.deviantart.com/journal/12680725/ http://Vampirestein.deviantart.com/journal/12680725/ Sat, 21 Apr 2007 13:17:50 PDT I'm pissed that I didn't get to hang out with Hildi----hey.....now I gots an idear!

*thinks about planning a kidnapping*

^_^




O___O;



anywho, it's been almost a week since I got back from Vermont and I loved it like no one's business! All the snow (which is rare in April) and new people that I got to meet like Janessa... a.k.a. Stallings. (another cool lesbian I know now besides Unna)
*stretches*
ugh, I need to go work out now that my leg's feelin' better so Rook Week won't be such a bitch, you know?
*gets ready to go change clothes*
love ya bitches!

]]> *Vampirestein http://Vampirestein.deviantart.com/journal/12436123/ http://Vampirestein.deviantart.com/journal/12436123/ Mon, 02 Apr 2007 19:35:00 PDT
]]> *Vampirestein http://Vampirestein.deviantart.com/journal/12107499/ http://Vampirestein.deviantart.com/journal/12107499/ Thu, 08 Mar 2007 15:25:14 PST
OOH, OOH! MOM GOT MEH POCKEH!
*munch-munch*


Meh, whatever.

Guess I should go get ready for that choir concert for Haa-kun... he invited mom and me to go listen, so off I go!

]]> *Vampirestein http://Vampirestein.deviantart.com/journal/12015577/ http://Vampirestein.deviantart.com/journal/12015577/ Thu, 01 Mar 2007 15:30:19 PST .> yeah, might just have to use the one at the library if all else fails.

]]> *Vampirestein