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        <title>deviantART: by:VelvetCandySuicide</title>
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        <pubDate>Tue, 15 Dec 2009 08:29:46 PST</pubDate>        
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                  <item>
                <title>Going... going... gone</title>
                <link>http://VelvetCandySuicide.deviantart.com/journal/15230118/</link>
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                <pubDate>Fri, 26 Oct 2007 13:53:21 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ I'm debating on deleting my DA.. i never use it.. i have immense writer's block so nothing new has been written.. i think i'm going to delete it.. good bye everyone<br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>~VelvetCandySuicide</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>So yea.. bored with life...</title>
                <link>http://VelvetCandySuicide.deviantart.com/journal/10754506/</link>
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                <pubDate>Fri, 17 Nov 2006 10:07:32 PST</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ Alright. I STILL suck. I have no inspiration. No new and awesome ideas. I feel sucked dry as far as my writing is concerned. Everything is starting to sound the same and blend together into nonsense. The bane of my existence. I need something new. Even if it's just helping someone make art. At least it's something new and different and I won't be bored. LOL. I hate being bored. Maybe one day. If anyone has any ideas, let me know. I have no life... Blessed Be..<br />
<br />
-Autumn-<br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>~VelvetCandySuicide</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>Bleh</title>
                <link>http://VelvetCandySuicide.deviantart.com/journal/9414373/</link>
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                <pubDate>Tue, 18 Jul 2006 09:09:23 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ Ok... i suck... i havent posted anything on here in months.. i havent done shit with DA since my computer went down in september or whenever it was... i'm an ass and i feel bad for not having the time or barely the resources to check out all my Devwatches... grrr.... i'm a bad girl.. anyne care to spank me?! haha.... maybe i'll get some new poetry up here soon... maybe... dont know... s o yea.... to everyone.. sorry for my lack of encouragement and what not... but  i will return.. i promise!<br />
<br />
-Velvet Candy Suicide- ]]></description>
                <author>~VelvetCandySuicide</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>Ok...</title>
                <link>http://VelvetCandySuicide.deviantart.com/journal/9384881/</link>
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                <pubDate>Sat, 15 Jul 2006 11:47:47 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ Yea.. I haven't really been on here like i used to. Yea i know... i suck... I moved outta my mom's house so now i live next door to work.. fun.. i dont mind... ]]></description>
                <author>~VelvetCandySuicide</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>hahahahahahaha</title>
                <link>http://VelvetCandySuicide.deviantart.com/journal/9065192/</link>
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                <pubDate>Wed, 14 Jun 2006 09:55:45 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ Ok so yea... havent been on here in AGES!!! oh well... but yea.. Litha is coming up. my coven is celebrating saturday at the Red Bank Battlefield Park so is anyone in the area wants to come and hang out.. its at 1pm on June 17th... ]]></description>
                <author>~VelvetCandySuicide</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>Yule is coming!!!</title>
                <link>http://VelvetCandySuicide.deviantart.com/journal/7319960/</link>
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                <pubDate>Thu, 15 Dec 2005 15:23:12 PST</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ Yule is next week.. Kind of excited... Made up my altar so it's all prettiful... Teehee!! Well, yea... just wanted to wish everyong a very Merry Yule and that I hope everyone has a wonderful day. May the Lord and Lady bless you all.<br />
<br />
Blessed Be,<br />
Stefanie ]]></description>
                <author>~VelvetCandySuicide</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>Yule is coming!!!</title>
                <link>http://VelvetCandySuicide.deviantart.com/journal/7319959/</link>
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                <pubDate>Thu, 15 Dec 2005 15:23:12 PST</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ Yule is next week.. Kind of excited... Made up my altar so it's all prettiful... Teehee!! Well, yea... just wanted to wish everyong a very Merry Yule and that I hope everyone has a wonderful day. May the Lord and Lady bless you all.<br />
<br />
Blessed Be,<br />
Stefanie ]]></description>
                <author>~VelvetCandySuicide</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>WEEE!!! Back for today!</title>
                <link>http://VelvetCandySuicide.deviantart.com/journal/7115555/</link>
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                <pubDate>Tue, 22 Nov 2005 15:14:54 PST</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ Yea I know... I havent checked my DA since the beginning of the month.. lack of internet connection at my house is a problem.. now I'm addicted to SIMS 2... yea.. I have no life... But the good news is that I FINALLY have a job. I work in a local cafe called Eleven East Cafe... It's an organic vegetarian/vegan place. Awesome food and even better coffee... lol... But yea.. I probably won't be on here again until some time next month.. Soo.... Happy Thanksgiving!!!! ]]></description>
                <author>~VelvetCandySuicide</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>Long time no write</title>
                <link>http://VelvetCandySuicide.deviantart.com/journal/6926225/</link>
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                <pubDate>Tue, 01 Nov 2005 13:23:12 PST</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ Happy Samhain everyone! Yea, I'm a day late, sue me..lol... We had circle Sunday and it was great. We saw bright blue orbs and everything... but yea.. just wanted to let everyone know I'm still alive... Happy New Year everyone! (Samhain is the Wiccan new year for those of you that didn't know) ]]></description>
                <author>~VelvetCandySuicide</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>DA in the news this week</title>
                <link>http://VelvetCandySuicide.deviantart.com/journal/6759409/</link>
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                <pubDate>Thu, 13 Oct 2005 16:39:26 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ My mom was watching the news this week and there was a big story about DA. Apparently, the owner or someone of this site (my mom said) has been arrested and charged with the murder and torture of a 17 year old girl who posts things on DA. The police found out because the girl went out and never came home. Her parents reported her missing and her friends said that she goes on DA alot. The cops took her computer and found messages from the owner or whoever it was. So they arrested the guy and went through his computer and found child pornography (some really sick shit apparently) and photos of children and other girls on DA. GIRLS OF DA BE WARNED! This isn't a joke either, I'm not the kind of person to make this shit up. I am keeping my DA up, but I will not post any pictures what so ever of myself. If anyone has any other info, lemme know.. laterz ]]></description>
                <author>~VelvetCandySuicide</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>No DA for a while</title>
                <link>http://VelvetCandySuicide.deviantart.com/journal/6639997/</link>
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                <pubDate>Fri, 30 Sep 2005 05:55:01 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ My mom's canceling our internet today along with our cable so yea... the only way i'll be able to get on here is through Viv's computer.. so yea.. sorry everyone! ]]></description>
                <author>~VelvetCandySuicide</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>Woo! Poetry</title>
                <link>http://VelvetCandySuicide.deviantart.com/journal/6602335/</link>
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                <pubDate>Sun, 25 Sep 2005 20:02:38 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ I've been writing alot of poems lately.. well not alot like I used to, but better than I used to.. WAAYY better.. lol.. I'm all happy.. I dunno.. I think I'm better off getting over the whole "wanting to be a photographer or anything else that involves visual art" I'm more of a writer so I should just stick to it.. Right? ]]></description>
                <author>~VelvetCandySuicide</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>Mabon tomorrow...</title>
                <link>http://VelvetCandySuicide.deviantart.com/journal/6522548/</link>
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                <pubDate>Fri, 16 Sep 2005 17:55:21 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ Mabon tomorrow at the Salem County Fairgrounds... ::squeaks::  <img src="http://e.deviantart.com/emoticons/e/excited.gif" width="23" height="19" alt=":excited:" title="OMG! I can't contain my excitement!" /> ]]></description>
                <author>~VelvetCandySuicide</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>Mabon.. coven... fun fun stuff</title>
                <link>http://VelvetCandySuicide.deviantart.com/journal/6494232/</link>
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                <pubDate>Tue, 13 Sep 2005 12:47:51 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ Recently I've been invited to join a local coven that my friend, her b/f and his family are apart of. South Jersey's Pagan Pride Day is Saturday and the coven is practicing tonight for it. Me and Viv are consecrating the circle. Everything has to be perfect because we're going to be in front of a large crowd and don't want to look like we don't have our shit together. I'm very excited about being in the coven. Everyone is so wonderful. Mine and Viv's initiations will be in June '06. I'm just really excited.. I dunno.. lol... ]]></description>
                <author>~VelvetCandySuicide</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>God is quite the conversationalist...</title>
                <link>http://VelvetCandySuicide.deviantart.com/journal/6405062/</link>
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                <pubDate>Sat, 03 Sep 2005 11:48:44 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ I talked to God a few days ago.. No I'm not Catholic or Christian and I really don't believe in the single male aspect of "God" either. I'm Pagan, but when I need guidance, I talk to all the Gods and Goddesses as though they are one because they all listen the same. But anyway, God (or whoever) came to me in a dream because I was upset that I felt I wasn't beautiful enough and I was insecure and all that fun stuff us women feel when it's almost that time of the month or whatever. So.. God came to me in a dream and talked to me. He told me that I'm a non-conformist and I shouldn't conform my ideals of beauty to those of others. He said that "beauty is beauty is beauty. Find your own beauty in the simple fact that you are UNIQUE. That is reality. Set your own stage and play your own role. I guarantee everyone else will follow." And I can honestly say that I really do believe that. Since that day, I have not felt insecure about myself or my fiance. I actually feel.........<br />
beautiful. ]]></description>
                <author>~VelvetCandySuicide</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>DA: Where has all the REAL art gone?!</title>
                <link>http://VelvetCandySuicide.deviantart.com/journal/6391387/</link>
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                <pubDate>Thu, 01 Sep 2005 19:36:14 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ I don't know if it's just me, but DA is starting to get really ridiculous. I've never seen this much ass shots and whatnot (and they're not even in the artistic nude or fetish categories). I understand that there is meaning in sexuality and in nudity, but if you're just looking for some guys to tell you you're "hott" and "sexxy" then at least do it in a better way. I've seen so many woman on this site that are more covered up and they are still more beautiful than 95% of the chikks that have to take it off just to get a comment. And yea I know I just sound like a raving asshole when I say all that, but I DON'T CARE! But seriously people, it's taking away from the REAL art that alot of people on this site do. You can't even tell the difference between art and some random chikk that'll take it all off just to get the slightest speck on attention. GROW UP! ]]></description>
                <author>~VelvetCandySuicide</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>Finally adding stuff.. yay!</title>
                <link>http://VelvetCandySuicide.deviantart.com/journal/6381532/</link>
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                <pubDate>Wed, 31 Aug 2005 18:52:14 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ I went through my folders on my computer and I found a bunch of old pics of me.. none are artistic.. they're just there for the hell of it.. so until i get a camera and am able to ACTUALLY make some real art, these will have to do i guess... so yea.. enjoy! ]]></description>
                <author>~VelvetCandySuicide</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>Woo! I dunno.. lol</title>
                <link>http://VelvetCandySuicide.deviantart.com/journal/6280934/</link>
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                <pubDate>Sat, 20 Aug 2005 16:15:15 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ Lately I've been in a pretty good mood. I've been happy and smiling and hyper (but that might just be the coffee). lol. But yea.. I'm feeling good... AWESOME! I've had so many ideas for pictures, I wrote most of them down. So yea.. can't wait until I get a job. I applied through this company the other day to work for the Sony factory around here. So hopefully I make enough and I can buy myself my own pretty little camera and put my ideas to good use! YAY ME!!<br />
<br />
I found an old picture on my friend's MySpace. It was a pic taken when I was a freshman in Elizabeth and it had all the kewl people in it. We were the only people that didn't get all stupid every year. So yea.. I miss the old days. I started feeling rather nostalgic and it made me think alot about myself. Where I was and how far I've come. And I realized that I didn't come very far when it comes to my personal opinion of myself. In fact, I've gone backwards. I used to know who I was. I used to know everything I loved and everything that made me smile. Then I met the wrong guys that made me tear it all away just so they could have their own "picturesque girlfriend" when it turns out, I was completely wrong for them regardless how much I changed. So yea.. I'm trying to look back on myself. I'm trying to find myself again. And there is one positive thing I have now that I didn't have back then... Viv. He's nothing like those other guys. He wants me to find myself again and be happy like I used to.  I think I finally did right this time.. lol... ]]></description>
                <author>~VelvetCandySuicide</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>One soul one life one meaning</title>
                <link>http://VelvetCandySuicide.deviantart.com/journal/6201790/</link>
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                <pubDate>Thu, 11 Aug 2005 20:23:56 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ <strong>Listening to</strong>: Have They Forgotten - The Living End<br /><br />I dunno.. I've been in a really weird mood lately.. Relationships are an internal problem of mine. I always feel like I'm not doing anything right. Like, right now. I feel depressed and I don't know why. I want to make Viv happy but sometimes I doubt I am. Sometimes I think he's wrong for wanting to marry me. Stupid thoughts.. I know.. but I can't really help them. I just want to make him happy, and if I can't, I want him to find his own happiness. I think I just feel like this because I'm menstrual.. I don't know..<br />
<br />
I'm sorry Viv...<br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>~VelvetCandySuicide</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>MISSING: Inspiration</title>
                <link>http://VelvetCandySuicide.deviantart.com/journal/5971797/</link>
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                <pubDate>Mon, 18 Jul 2005 20:21:36 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ I NEED INSPIRATION!! I've been so uninspired lately that it's not even funny anymore... I think that maybe it's because I feel uninspiring.. I dunno.. I'm a basketcase lately... Poor Viv.. I hate being like this with him.. I love him intensely... I don't know... I need another vacation.. lol.. Can anyone help me get my inspiration back? Ideas? Thoughts? Anything will do... ]]></description>
                <author>~VelvetCandySuicide</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>Childish</title>
                <link>http://VelvetCandySuicide.deviantart.com/journal/5932922/</link>
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                <pubDate>Thu, 14 Jul 2005 12:38:34 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ I've been feeling like such a little kid lately. Sometimes I feel completely like an adult at the same time though. I don't know. I've been looking at everyone's deviants lately and the pictures I've taken in Hawaii and around Franklinville and all that jazz and I realized that I'm a better photographer than I am a model. I've always hated the way I looked in photos but since I was really little, I wanted to be a model. I guess my own self critisism is what has always crippled me. I know what I want in pictures, I know how I want them to look and I have all these ideas, but I'm not the perfect model to do them. I don't know whether it's just that I don't feel pretty enough or I'm just not good enough at expressing the emotion/idea physically, but I know I can capture its essence if someone else were actually posing.. I don't know... Maybe I should just stick to taking every one else's photographs instead of my own.. ]]></description>
                <author>~VelvetCandySuicide</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>I'm back!</title>
                <link>http://VelvetCandySuicide.deviantart.com/journal/5907050/</link>
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                <pubDate>Mon, 11 Jul 2005 18:07:54 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ I got back from Hawaii on Thursday afternoon.. I've just been so damn tired to actually let anyone know I'm back.. but then again.. i did post a picture of my love so yea.. I'm back... Hawaii was beautiful.. The whole island smelled like plumerias and hibiscus... I'm going to be growing my own plumeria tree (so excited!!) So yea.. thats about it for now.. laterz.. ]]></description>
                <author>~VelvetCandySuicide</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>Hawaii</title>
                <link>http://VelvetCandySuicide.deviantart.com/journal/5775006/</link>
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                <pubDate>Mon, 27 Jun 2005 19:08:44 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ Going to Hawaii on Wednesday morning... I'm really nervous because I've never been on a plane before.. so yea.. Things between me and my love have gotten much better, but my self-esteem and all that is still crashed. Hopefully it'll get better during our little vacation. Bleh.. I'm tired. My eyes hurt..<br />
<br />
I went to a pagan circle yesterday for Litha. It was so much fun. I made a fairy staff with tons of feathers and beads and stuff. Very bright and pretty. I actually participated in the circle (I wasn't going to but Jon's mom convinced me to). Viv came but he didn't get in the circle because he was nervous, but I still had fun. The next festival is Lughnassadh, hopefully he'll get in the circle with us then. Good night... ]]></description>
                <author>~VelvetCandySuicide</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>Fickle and Fragile</title>
                <link>http://VelvetCandySuicide.deviantart.com/journal/5655765/</link>
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                <pubDate>Wed, 15 Jun 2005 12:06:50 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ Love.. it's the most fickle and fragile thing in the world. Love is deceiving, painful and angry, but it can also be beautiful, passionate and secure. For me though, it's been a very painful experience. I love someone more than I've ever thought I could love another human being, but I was deceived. I was told I'm loved. I was told I'm beautiful and that I meant everything in the world. All lies. I'm not beautiful enough for him. I never was. If I was beautiful to him, then why would he need to see another female's body? Why would he have to stare and gape at another female's body? If he truly loved me, wouldn't I be enough? Wouldn't my heart, my body, my mind, my spirit and soul be enough for him that he wouldn't have to look for beauty somewhere else? He likes the pretty girls. He likes the girls that take their clothes off for a few good stares. He likes the girls that would sell their bodies for the slightest amount of attention. And obviously, his attention was gained. I am not beautiful. I am not perfect. I am nothing and my heart means nothing. So what am I to do? ]]></description>
                <author>~VelvetCandySuicide</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>Feeling better</title>
                <link>http://VelvetCandySuicide.deviantart.com/journal/5603464/</link>
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                <pubDate>Thu, 09 Jun 2005 20:29:09 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ Ok.. So I'm feeling better about the whole "not having any photography up" thingy since I've been getting great comments from people on the 2 sunset ones I posted.. Thank you to all of you that have helped lift my spirits and inspired me to do more.. I have alot more sunset ones on Viv's camera, but I have to wait until he gets batteries so I can put them on my computer and what not.. Yea.. They are alot better than the other 2 sunset ones... So yea.. I'm feeling much better and hopefully I'll be adding more soon...<br />
<br />
I'm going to Hawaii July 1st so you better believe I'm going to be taking LOTS and LOTS of pictures there... Nighty night!<br />
<br />
<img src="http://e.deviantart.com/emoticons/c/clap.gif" width="25" height="25" alt=":clap:" title="Clap" /> ]]></description>
                <author>~VelvetCandySuicide</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>Blah</title>
                <link>http://VelvetCandySuicide.deviantart.com/journal/5587111/</link>
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                <pubDate>Wed, 08 Jun 2005 08:15:58 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ I feel miserable... The mood swings just keep on coming and I hate it so much.. Blah.... I'm frustrated.. I want to put some photography on here, but I don't think any of the pics I've taken are good enough.. I don't know.. They look like the backgrounds for Webshots... I dunno... gloomy gloomy gloomy ]]></description>
                <author>~VelvetCandySuicide</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>Tired and hurting</title>
                <link>http://VelvetCandySuicide.deviantart.com/journal/5529539/</link>
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                <pubDate>Thu, 02 Jun 2005 08:15:44 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ Today is really not my day.. I woke up  in a bad mood (what else is new). It's  supposed to rain later. I almost had an  asthma attack during gym because I like  to play soccer. SO yea, my chest is in  so much pain, I can't breathe and all I  want to do is go to sleep and just not  care about anything.. yea.. what a  day.. what a day... ]]></description>
                <author>~VelvetCandySuicide</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>LaLaLa</title>
                <link>http://VelvetCandySuicide.deviantart.com/journal/5519348/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://VelvetCandySuicide.deviantart.com/journal/5519348/</guid>
                <pubDate>Wed, 01 Jun 2005 08:20:02 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ Bleh.. My day today started out pretty  good. I walked to school with my love  and prom pics came in.. Well, the prom  pics are kind of fuzzy but they could  be worse. They don't have Viv's pics in  (very upsetting).. I wonder if they're  as blurry as mine.. Oh well.. He still  looks very very adorable.. <img src="http://e.deviantart.com/emoticons/c/clap.gif" width="25" height="25" alt=":clap:" title="Clap" /> tee hee!  I'm not doing too much today.. I think  I'm going to my baby's house and taking  a nap with him.. It feels weird  sleeping in my bed without him... so  yea... umm... gotta go.. class is  almost over.. bye! <img src="http://e.deviantart.com/emoticons/h/heart.gif" width="15" height="13" alt=":heart:" title="Heart" /> <img src="http://e.deviantart.com/emoticons/k/katana.gif" width="40" height="25" alt=":katana:" title="Fear the katana!" /> ]]></description>
                <author>~VelvetCandySuicide</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>I feel lonely</title>
                <link>http://VelvetCandySuicide.deviantart.com/journal/5509608/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://VelvetCandySuicide.deviantart.com/journal/5509608/</guid>
                <pubDate>Tue, 31 May 2005 08:20:25 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ My weekend was pretty good.. got a 4  day weekend because i decided to stay  home from school friday.. oh yea.. hung  out with my b/f and just sat around the  house mostly... visited my best friend  Jess and yea.. fun stuff.. fun stuff...  but right now, I feel kind of lonely...  I miss Viv bunches and all I wanna do  is fall asleep in his arms... be all  warm and safe and comfortable next to  him. God I love him so... I feel like  writing something poetic, but I  severely lack to energy to do so..  despite the fact that I had 3 sonnets  due for creative writing.. i don't know  if I'm going to be able to do them by  the end of today... hopefully I just  get at least one or 2 done.. dum dum  dum.... blah.. i must depart.. farewell! ]]></description>
                <author>~VelvetCandySuicide</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>First one.. after all this time</title>
                <link>http://VelvetCandySuicide.deviantart.com/journal/5465270/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://VelvetCandySuicide.deviantart.com/journal/5465270/</guid>
                <pubDate>Thu, 26 May 2005 08:19:54 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ I'm sitting here bored in math.. what  else is new? I've done all my work and  I'm left with this aching feeling that  I should be doing more.. more with my  life.. more with my time.. more with  the one I love beyond the depths of  reason.. yes... My heart screams and  dances in my chest.. It wants to sing  like a sparrow but there is no one by  my side at the moment to hear it  sing... My thoughts are scattered..  Mostly scattered to the point where my  body yells: "I want a baby.. NOW!" I  don't know.. It's been doing that since  yesterday.. Damn biological clock. I  need to sleep... sleep.. yes... sleep  next to the one I love... That would be  best.. better than bestest... ok.. I'm  rambling.. but the weather is shitty so  it's to be expected.. I need a digital  camera.. I need to take pictures and  pretend I'm prettier than what the  camera sees... I don't know... I love  you Viv. ]]></description>
                <author>~VelvetCandySuicide</author>
            </item>
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