http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:WimpleToad&section=today deviantART RSS for by:WimpleToad en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Wed, 09 Dec 2009 21:46:56 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://WimpleToad.deviantart.com/journal/28804095/ http://WimpleToad.deviantart.com/journal/28804095/ Mon, 07 Dec 2009 11:41:18 PST
I’d not been on the boat for more than 5 minutes when a stewardess or whatever you call them when they’re on boats came up and said I’d have to put on shoes. The boat hadn’t left the dock yet so I’m worried I’ll be booted off when I tell her what happened and that I don’t have any shoes to wear! She tells the captain and fortunately he said it was alright, but no dancing! No problems there, so I was off to find a spot to eat! We’d settled at a table and were chatting away for some time when the help came around and informed us dinner would be a minimum of 20 minutes and maybe we should go do some gambling with the fake money they gave everyone. That sounded great and I’d had two drinks by that time so I wanted to start doing something to take my mind off the fact that I was rather hungry…and getting progressively tipsier on an empty stomach which was not part of my plan.

We were playing Texas Hold ‘em when someone comes around asking if we want drinks and I say that we don’t have anymore drink tickets only to have the lady I’d been chatting and playing with give me hers. Well I still hadn’t eaten so I said okay and got another drink and kept playing. Some time later a lady comes around with a tray of cookies and we ask about dinner. She said they were cleaning it up now and it was all over! Well by now I’m tipsy enough to not remember that I am hungry so I decide to keep playing instead of loose my place at the table to rush up and go through whatever’s left of the food. And I somehow end up with one more drink…on an empty stomach…with no water…and I’m lit by the time we get home. For the first two minutes I thought I couldn’t sleep so Otra starts reading to me only to have me pass completely out less then a paragraph into the book. I wake up at 4:30am with a slight case of the spins and that’s when I remember I failed to drink any water or eat any food and I stumble/crawl to the bathroom to see if I can expel some of the worst of my condition into the porcelain god. That done, I get some garlic naan off the fridge and a glass of water and munch away on that and slide back into bed. Only the bread decides it doesn’t want to stay down and I sidle back into the bathroom. Needless to say I get a less than adequate night sleep for the remainder of the evening.

The next day I feel decent considering my circumstance and I know the worst thing you can do for a hangover is baby it, so I head out to breakfast and get a bit of vegetarian omelet, tea and fruit in me and decide to go through with our plans to go to our friends house and make cute Japanese bento foods. After all, I didn’t feel all that bad and some activity should chase the rest of my discomfort away, right? By the end of the bento party I’ve gained a headache and I become quite exhausted…to the point I don’t think to continue to hydrate myself…and I crash when I get home into a fitful hour long nap only to wake up sleepy and uncomfortable.

By this time the thought of drinking the water, which I’m sure is what I need, makes me feel sick and I end up tossing up my diligently hand crafted little bento pieces later that evening in an attempt to choke down water. Once that was done I felt a little better and I managed to sleep through most of the night after getting to bed early. I feel much better this morning, but the thought of eating that left over bento is rather sickening.

I’m trying to slowly eat food bit by bit. I’ve had a basket of raspberries, half a cup of tea and I’m working on a nutra-grain bar and a glass of water as I type. Taking small bites and little sips I hope to feel right as the rain that’s been falling outside all day. I think I’ll swing by the house to pick up a book and then go to get pho instead of eating the onigiri and spam cakes we made yesterday. It sounds too…too much like yesterday for me to enjoy those at the moment and pho sounds warm, light and delicious! I try not... ]]> ~WimpleToad http://WimpleToad.deviantart.com/journal/28435768/ http://WimpleToad.deviantart.com/journal/28435768/ Wed, 18 Nov 2009 15:55:33 PST
You hear it all the time, “you’re only as old as you feel,” and I don’t feel old. I don’t feel like I’m almost 30. I plan to continue to learn and grow and better myself and my relationships. For some naïve reason when I was younger and thought 30 was an eternity away, I never considered that as a possibility. I could hardly imagine being 30, let alone what I would be doing once I got there unless it was running my own Dude Ranch, being the lead singer of a heavy metal band, or having finally mastered martial arts, being a professional masked crime fighter like Batman or Zoro. I liked to keep my options open.

I didn’t end up where I thought I would, but I’m happy to be where I’m at. I don’t own herds of beautiful stallions, lead a life of fame and fortune with screaming fans that fund my night life of vigilante work. But I get by with lots of laughs and good friends.

Here’s to another year, comin’ right up!

]]> ~WimpleToad http://WimpleToad.deviantart.com/journal/27740776/ http://WimpleToad.deviantart.com/journal/27740776/ Tue, 13 Oct 2009 08:53:14 PDT
]]> ~WimpleToad http://WimpleToad.deviantart.com/journal/27483415/ http://WimpleToad.deviantart.com/journal/27483415/ Tue, 29 Sep 2009 10:09:51 PDT
I had an amazing weekend! Friday night we had friends over and watched The Boondock Saints and Otra made the most incredible corn beef and cabbage dish you’ve ever had! We chatted until 11:30 and then the non-gamers went home and Markus and Candice stayed the night so we could play Monster Hunter until 2 in the morning! I think they were up ‘til 3, but I crashed out early. Then we had orange rolls and bacon for breakfast, played Monster Hunter all day, took a break to get some root beer and mead from Cost Plus and had dim sum for lunch. We then proceeded to play well into the night again! The following Sunday we finally got me leveled up to a 5, thanks to all my higher ranked friends taking me on missions I could never pass without them. But it makes it easier to buy things so I can gain experience without the hassle of constantly being out of honey and other supplies.

I’m so proud of Otra. He’s doing wonderfully in school and I’m certain he’s going to make a great chiropractor. I’ve never really been a fan of chiropractics because my only experience with them was a lady from our church who was really bad at it. After talking with Otra about it, he explained that just like bad doctors, you get bad chiropractors from time to time, but in the hands of a knowledgeable chiropractor a lot of good can be done. He gave me some stories of examples of good and bad chiropractics and put my concerns to rest. He’s going to be great at this!

I got a nibble at another commission the other day, but I haven’t heard back from him after I told him I charge for my work. But it’s nice to know that people like my stuff! I need to promise to keep working on it and not spend so much time on Monster Hunter. I want to do some Monster Hunter fan art of my warrior trapping a rathian or something. That could be fun. But then again if bondage themes are what people like the best I should also keep working on that so that I can continue to pick up commissions. It’s not like I don’t enjoy that theme too!

I plan on making a date to head to Kinokuniya and the Boba Smoothie to sketch with Markus and Candice this week. Speaking of which I better plan that soon because I’m busy Friday and I’m doing my class Thursday, so that leaves, well, tomorrow! Or tonight if I go shopping first thing before Otra gets home. I better call and see when we can go.

]]> ~WimpleToad http://WimpleToad.deviantart.com/journal/27247765/ http://WimpleToad.deviantart.com/journal/27247765/ Wed, 16 Sep 2009 16:00:29 PDT
Despite the pain and ever thickening calluses, there is something very appealing about being up in the air like that. It’s reminiscent to monkey bars and jungle gyms in days long past when there was little fear of physical injury or your own lack of grace. You could just swing around and enjoy seeing the world from a commanding height and your body seemed to do everything you told it to do with little to no objection. Not so now. But every time you go up it gets just a little easier and you feel a kind of freedom…and then you realize that your muscles are about to give out and you have no idea how to unwrap your foot.

But I am having fun. I doubt I will have the funds to continue after 4 classes even if I want to. I may try for a ballroom class. The salsa class is surprisingly full of boys! The last time I took a ballroom class there were 3 girls for every boy and you continually had to dance with other girls to practice. That’s not really a problem, but when I’m learning I hate having to reverse everything to dance the boys part. I’m already not that coordinated. There’s also a belly dance class there and that’s always delightfully erotic.

I’ve been majorly obsessing over Monster Hunter Freedom Unite on the PSP lately. Our friends have been playing it and Otra got a wild hair and decided he wanted to play to. I knew I couldn’t stand to have only one PSP in the house and to not be able to play with him, so we ended up getting two with our left over wedding funds. I think that killed them, but it was worth it. It’s really fun and I just discovered that I might be a little better fighting with the lance. I’ve been using dual blades and I have a tendency to go in to hack-and-slash-panic. I stop being careful and plus no matter how many times I hit something it feels like I’m hitting it with a foam bat. A lance forces is slightly longer range and forces me to slow down and line up my blows. Plus if one of my cats it distracting an enemy I can charge it and do serious damage! Guarding is a nice feature too.

]]> ~WimpleToad http://WimpleToad.deviantart.com/journal/27098486/ http://WimpleToad.deviantart.com/journal/27098486/ Tue, 08 Sep 2009 16:11:58 PDT
The furry picnic was really fun! Our friend is back from over seas and he’s really into Zentai. He’s given Otra and I a couple suits as gifts and we really like them. He started snooping around the furry crowd in San Diego and found out they host a monthly picnic and he asked if we’d join him so he wouldn’t have to go alone. We said we’d love to and off we went to meet a new crowd of folks who turned out to be quite nice! We even suited up in our Zentai outfits to join in the fun and played a lethal game of Frisbee. I say lethal because it’s damn near impossible to see in a giant dog costume and every bit as nearly impossible to see with your face covered in a Zentai hood. But we had fun trying not to die and munching on food stuffs for a few hours at the park, and we’ve even been inspired to start work on suits of our own.

It’s not “officially furry” but I’ve always wanted a fawn costume and my pal wants to do a griffin suit. The furries are sweet enough to let us hang even though we are not a perfect fit to the furry mold. But we’re looking forward to making suits when we get a bit of money and time and if possible, we’d like to go to more of their picnics!

Ah I’ve gotta go. I’m still super busy. I just needed a break before my head exploded. I hope everyone is well!

]]> ~WimpleToad http://WimpleToad.deviantart.com/journal/26958423/ http://WimpleToad.deviantart.com/journal/26958423/ Tue, 01 Sep 2009 13:56:10 PDT
]]> ~WimpleToad http://WimpleToad.deviantart.com/journal/26816693/ http://WimpleToad.deviantart.com/journal/26816693/ Tue, 25 Aug 2009 12:53:41 PDT
We finally got to use our wedding cups. Otra got a goblet and I got a tankard and I only let him use it once when we first got it because I said it was special for the wedding and I didn’t want any smudges for the day.

Before the wedding I got to see the ring my dad had finished. He informed me that during the sealing process he’d accidentally glued the ring to his finger and he had to yank it off! Lol! I just thought that was funny. Mine is the only ring he’s made with a ceramic finish, and as a result the shine is really lasting!

The day after the wedding we knew our friend was headed back to Tennessee Monday night, so we wanted to hang out. He and his friend were planning on going to a firing range. I haven’t fired a gun since I was a little girl and my dad was holding my hands when I did, so when we were invited and Otra said sure thing I figured why not? I’m afraid of guns, but I like to face my fears….at the appropriate end of the barrel that is. I got to shoot a 22 rifle and a 9mm handgun and kick off our first day of married life with something new and exciting! I thought it was fitting.

We leave tomorrow for a honeymoon in Las Vegas! I’m so excited! One of the shows we’ll see is Zumanity and our friend whose already seen it told us to wear our wedding outfits there because we’ll fit right in! The hat really finishes the outfit, but I’m worried about wearing it because the train is so long and it’s hard to pin on. But if there were ever an occasion to wear it, the honeymoon is a good excuse!

I’m going to lunch now.

]]> ~WimpleToad http://WimpleToad.deviantart.com/journal/26786277/ http://WimpleToad.deviantart.com/journal/26786277/ Sun, 23 Aug 2009 23:27:09 PDT
]]> ~WimpleToad http://WimpleToad.deviantart.com/journal/26710661/ http://WimpleToad.deviantart.com/journal/26710661/ Thu, 20 Aug 2009 10:20:57 PDT I brought the leftover cake home with me and invited some pals over to consume the last of it because it was awesome and it had fresh raspberries. When we got home I brewed some jasmine tea and we had tea and cake and watched The Venture Brothers season 3.

Otra and I are hitting the farmers market tonight to get some fresh berries for the wedding. I’m trying not to spaz. I think we have a little less rum than I am comfortable with. I think we could stand to have another bottle. But I’m getting really excited! This is going to be awesome! And it will be good to see my family. I’ve even got a cousin I haven’t seen in a couple years flying in for the wedding. I’m so stoked! There’s going to be a lot of folks that can’t make it though, and that’s a drag. I'm gona see if I can arange a skype chat for a few minutes to say hello and I miss them. Money’s tight all over in my family and the travel is just too expensive.

Eeeep! Wedding!... I’m really hungry because I haven’t had breakfast. I’m gonna go forage.

]]> ~WimpleToad http://WimpleToad.deviantart.com/journal/26653973/ http://WimpleToad.deviantart.com/journal/26653973/ Mon, 17 Aug 2009 16:07:35 PDT
My commission is going surprisingly quickly considering I’ve had such a weird schedule recently. I hope to tackle the hands this week, but I doubt I’ll be able to get much more than that done by the wedding, if that. After all I’ll be loosing an evening of sketching tonight and Thursday too since I have to prep everything to go down the following day. Friday I’ll be setting things up and of course Saturday is the wedding. That leaves tomorrow and Wednesday to draw and once we’re married we’ll only have three days until our Honeymoon. Waa!

I had a blessedly busy day at work today which helped things go faster, but I still have an hour to kill before I can go home. It’s going to be rather tough to focus this week!

]]> ~WimpleToad http://WimpleToad.deviantart.com/journal/26589423/ http://WimpleToad.deviantart.com/journal/26589423/ Fri, 14 Aug 2009 12:30:39 PDT
For some reason I have been seized by a feeling of nervousness. Probably due to the many little things I haven’t planned. I’ll be happy when the party is underway and everyone’s just having a good time. I think I’m a little nervous having all this pomp and circumstance focused on myself and Otra. That’s probably why I want all the video games and such there to distract folks from me! Lol! Don’t look at me! Go play Boom Blocks or Smash Bros! Have a drink! Hit the piñata!

I’m anxious to get things started! Besides Otra and I being married of course, I want nothing more than for everyone to have a great time while eating good food and chatting with amazing people!

*Fidget* I want to go eat lunch! Ah! Friday!

]]> ~WimpleToad http://WimpleToad.deviantart.com/journal/26547323/ http://WimpleToad.deviantart.com/journal/26547323/ Wed, 12 Aug 2009 11:59:57 PDT
Also a couple days ago I had the good fortune of trying on my skirt for Otra’s mom. When I’d picked it up from my friend I felt is was a little too big, but since it’s a mermaid cut everyone assured me it was fine and that I had to have room to walk. But sure enough when I tried it on for Renee she said it was too big in the back! We immediately rushed it over to a tailor that is across the alley from us and he said he could have it corrected by the 13th which is tomorrow! I was so relieved because I knew we wouldn’t have time to give it back to Hilary and have her return it to Versatile Fashions.

I gotta do some drawing tonight! Last night we were side tracked because some friends wanted to hang out. But tonight I’m going to Gypsy Den with my friend Kristen and hopefully if we don’t chat to much, we like to draw together! So I hope to get some work done tonight. I miss Kristen and I wish I got to see her more. She is always so busy.

Tomorrow I pick up my skirt and hopefully do some more drawing and exercise. I’m trying to live more by my old college professors words recently. Don Lagerberg always told us “Draw, floss and exercise!” They were the three things you should do every day! As he is a healthy old man with great teeth and an amazing artistic talent, I think his advice is sound. Speaking of teachers, I need to look into a workshop with Marshall Vandruff again. I’ve been out of the classroom for too long. I also need to locate a life drawing night.

Ah, I’m so scattered at work today. I just want to go home and work on things! I got my earrings in the mail for my wedding just now. They’re bigger than I’d thought, but I think they’ll be lovely. I’ll probably have to replace the hook to be silver because this metal looks cheap and it will turn my ears red in about 60 seconds! I hate being allergic to metal!

I can’t wait for lunch! Wee!

]]> ~WimpleToad http://WimpleToad.deviantart.com/journal/26503272/ http://WimpleToad.deviantart.com/journal/26503272/ Mon, 10 Aug 2009 11:06:58 PDT
We had a great time chatting with new people. We met a bunch of the people in the Ren Fair cooking guild we somehow found ourselves a part of. I really am not sure how that happened. I’ve explained to them I don’t know how to cook but they don’t seem to mind that.

I got a commission over the weekend as well. I took some reference photos and did some doodling for it last night. I’m gonna have a tough time with likeness. The girl wants it to be of her. I found a great pose, but the face needs work. I’ll be posting it when it’s complete if I have her permission to do so. I’ve explained that I have a squishy deadline for her project because I’m getting married in two weeks and she’s totally okay with that. I love how excited she seems. I hope I can get her something she will really enjoy! Fortunately for me the subject matter is something I find very attractive! My recent ball gag piece was her inspiration for this, so it’s going to be along the same lines.

I’ve also been trying to doodle some sharks since shark week was last week and a lot of the folks here have been doing amazing shark drawings! They are so inspiring! I know I’m late, but I don’t care. I draw when I can and I draw what I like and sharks are turning out to be really fun. Plus they are simple forms and they are encouraging me to use my Copics! I will be sure to post my scribbles.

Ooo! We had an adventure on the way back from the Orange Circle the other day. Otra and I walked to the orange circle for dinner and a chocolate. On our way back we saw two whippets, a black and a brown one, running around in the street. Fortunately I had a left over turkey sandwich from dinner that I used to nab the black one, but the brown one was running around on the other side of the street and as I was coaxing the black one, we heard this horrible thump and tumbling sound and the brown one was hit by a pizza delivery guy. It was such a loud sound I thought for sure the dog would be dead but he immediately took off at a run and went around a corner where we couldn’t find him. We had the female though and I attached my wallet chain to her collar and we called the number on her tag. Otra left a message and we had nothing to do but keep walking home carrying the trembling little dog.

We were about half way back when we got a call from the owner. She said the brown one was fine and she found him barking up a storm in her yard. She was in the shower and her son had left the gate open. The dog was limping but otherwise seemed okay. She drove down to the corner we were at and picked up her dog. We explained she really needed to take the other one to the vet and that he was struck very hard and would likely have some fractures at the very least. She seemed like she was genuinely concerned and I think she will. She drove off and Otra and I continued our walk home. I’m glad it had a happy ending.

]]> ~WimpleToad http://WimpleToad.deviantart.com/journal/26444830/ http://WimpleToad.deviantart.com/journal/26444830/ Fri, 07 Aug 2009 12:49:33 PDT
I have a chocolate tasting party to go to in the evening this Saturday so I’ll be missing the club again. But hey...CHOCOLATE TASTING PARTY! I think I'll cope. But I am hoping that we can go on the 15th since we can’t go this weekend or the next two weeks after the 15th. But the 16th is Otra’s last day of weekend classes. He’ll probably have a final test the following Tuesday, but I don’t know if he’ll be up to going. Bummer. We’ll just have to play it by ear.

I have a bad case of Friday Fever today and I just wanna go home. Or course I often experience this most days of the week, but on Friday’s I have an excuse that’s an alliteration! At least I’m about to go to lunch! Speaking of which….here I go!

]]> ~WimpleToad http://WimpleToad.deviantart.com/journal/26363496/ http://WimpleToad.deviantart.com/journal/26363496/ Mon, 03 Aug 2009 16:29:52 PDT
It was a lovely turn out of nearly all my most beloved female friends, minus Chi who I am very sad couldn’t make it. But god does my voice suck, especially after drinking! Lol! I used to be decent back in the day, but years of not singing takes its toll.

But I am raring to go for my wedding. The “ pre-party ” gave me hope for the outcome of our actual wedding. This is going to be a truly memorable event! I have been blessed with such amazing friends! Wee!

]]> ~WimpleToad http://WimpleToad.deviantart.com/journal/26230342/ http://WimpleToad.deviantart.com/journal/26230342/ Tue, 28 Jul 2009 10:18:58 PDT
But the thing is, I’ve been really inactive again lately. I’d been doing DDR for a bit until my boys schedule changed so that he was home when I got home. My DDR experience looks like the equivalent of a T-Rex with palsy playing whack-a-mole with his feet, so I’m a little self conscious about playing in front of him, so I stopped, there by ceasing the only source of activity I have anymore.

Last night, since I’d shared with my boy that I felt fat, he prodded me onto the DDR mat and got me moving. I remembered that I like the game and decided that for the first time in my life I will try to set a goal regarding my exercise. Maybe a goal will help me stay consistent. I’ve never needed a goal before because I only exercised to stay active and healthy, not to change the way I look because, as previously mentioned, I am twig girl. But I’ve decided that I would like to loose at least two inches on my tummy and be able to do a few full body push-ups without breaking my nose due to my arms giving out. Simple enough right? So I ticked off the square on my calendar from yesterday to show my first day of exercise and I plan to continue ticking for each day I work out. Maybe I can get down an inch by my wedding or possibly loose my arm wigglies.

So wish me luck on me exercise endeavors! I must stay active and whip my tummy pooch into shape. I’d like a little two pack if possible one day! But I’ll go for baby steps right now and just try to loose a couple inches.

]]> ~WimpleToad http://WimpleToad.deviantart.com/journal/26209695/ http://WimpleToad.deviantart.com/journal/26209695/ Mon, 27 Jul 2009 11:06:08 PDT
Otra and I also got to play and despite the fact that I thought I was going to be a total light weight that night my bum is now beautifully dappled with bruises. It turns out that Bar Sinister, though being much farther than Passive Arts, is really beautiful. The atmosphere is great, but the play space is limited. There’s a couple more restrictions like no nudity, genital play, or drawing blood, but that’s not really a big deal for Otra and I. What we do like is that if you want to play they rope off your area to compensate for the minimal space. But Sir Phoenix was explaining that it is a place more devoted to being a link for people who are getting interested in the scene. There’s nothing really hardcore that goes on there, but it is BDSM friendly.

We had a great time and will probably go back as Phoenix invited us back specifically saying to please call ahead if we’d like to come play again. Sadly the drive is tougher and you have to pay for parking. But the beauty of the club is worth it. I didn’t get to see any show that night, but it looks like they have a few. It was Comic Con weekend though so it was really light. I wonder what it will be like on a heavier evening.

As for my wedding outfit, all I need now is the jewelry and Otra will be getting his tie and such to match now that I have the corset. Sadly, my ring won’t fit over the gloves, so I’ll have to take them off if I want to show off the ring. I also need to decide what stockings I’ll be wearing.

I just bought $144 dollars worth of drinks for the party and I’m still not sure that will be enough. I got 6 cases of soda and 5 of water and we’ll be having a 5 gallon container of iced tea that we’ll be making a day or two before the wedding, and I also threw in a couple more alcoholic things for the bar and some juice for mixers. It will be hot so I want everyone to stay cool and well hydrated. When I get paid again I need to get some coolers and a million other things.

I’m going to go pick up my marriage license at lunch today with Otra. I’ve decided to do that pretentious hyphenation thing for my last name and then just never tell anyone that I did it like I’m telling you now. This way I can freely use my Caviness last name for my art without having to call it pseudonym, because there is something profoundly wrong about calling my birth name a pseudonym. Then when I am doing anything with Otra we can still be Mr. and Mrs. Olver. But that still constitutes a name change and I will have to do the massive amounts of notifications and paperwork that will go along with it.

But I’m getting really excited and I can’t wait to get things rolling. And I’m really stoked for our honeymoon. That’s right, I said honeymoon! I didn’t think we were getting one due to not having any money, but as we are getting some from Otra’s Aunt and Uncle we got enough of a push to make a budgeted run to Vegas! A friends parents own a house out there that they are willing to let us stay at for free, bless their hearts! So between that and some extra monies, we are going to spend a couple days seeing shows and messing around! Joy!

]]> ~WimpleToad http://WimpleToad.deviantart.com/journal/26106868/ http://WimpleToad.deviantart.com/journal/26106868/ Wed, 22 Jul 2009 11:29:05 PDT

My wedding boots came in just now! I’m so happy they fit great because the reviews said they were a narrow fit and I was worried they’d be too small. I know it’s risky buying shoes online, but I suck at shoe shopping and I have no one to shop with anyway so that makes it worse. I didn’t spot anything that I thought was cuter than what I’d seen online so I risked it. I’m glad I did.

Things are going to come together soon I think. I’m so hungry right now, I can’t wait for lunch!

]]> ~WimpleToad http://WimpleToad.deviantart.com/journal/26087233/ http://WimpleToad.deviantart.com/journal/26087233/ Tue, 21 Jul 2009 12:51:10 PDT
Well no more! At anytime I can log on to my new profile and talk with others who share my interests and don’t look at me askance. At least not that I can see, lol. There are long time players, new people, and folks like me floating around between being experienced and knowledgeable while still capable of learning so much more. It’s been great. The only issue is I don’t dare log on at work. I keep that on the home computer only and my fiancé is a bit of an internet junkie so I rarely get on unless I actually mention that I’d like to use it for a while too. I need to get a home computer that can connect to the internet eventually. I don’t like having to bump him off his computer even if he is just admittedly messing around and he doesn’t mind.

Ah money. I have enough to live, but never enough when larger purchases are needed. I really need another car because my current one is an unreliable death trap. But by the time I save for one I think mine will have died 5 times over!

But the new site is great and many people that I know from the scene are already on it! If anyone cares to make an account of their own just send me a line and I will tell you what the site is. Or you can just google for a bit and probably find it yourself! It’s a great place to feel at home and accepted. I’m getting some great feedback on a “home project” I would like to tackle as soon as I have a bit of time and a more solid design. It’s a bunch of people with a passion for play and they love to share their knowledge to help you improve your own. I love it!

]]> ~WimpleToad http://WimpleToad.deviantart.com/journal/26070823/ http://WimpleToad.deviantart.com/journal/26070823/ Mon, 20 Jul 2009 16:53:57 PDT
Anyway, I bought a batch of truffles and hope to have her over on Thursday for our chill out day and then do her chocolate tasting party on August 8th after Otra get's out of class.

I'm giving the finger wave one more go tonight wtih Amie and then heading to Charly's to watch him practice rope suspension with her. If there's room Otra and I would love to practice ourselves. If not I've got a sketchbook.

And as a side note...EVERYONE needs to watch Dr. Horribles Sing Along Blog! It rocks!

]]> ~WimpleToad http://WimpleToad.deviantart.com/journal/26044682/ http://WimpleToad.deviantart.com/journal/26044682/ Sun, 19 Jul 2009 12:57:22 PDT
One more month and I'll be married. Weird huh? I never figured I'd wanna get married before 30, but I'm stoked to be tying the knot anyways! We're great together, and even when I'm upset, I can't stay mad at my Otra. Even if he did nearly break my glasses last night. Lol! Fortunately I got them fixed good as mostly new this morning. Besides. I'm due for an eye check up now anyway so I made an appointment for Tuesday to see how much my vision has degraded.

Now to go have boba and work on my death wagon sketch! I'm going to have tea with a total stranger! If I don't come back I was murdered by a cute 21 year old girl. Just kidding. We're meeting in a public place and I'm not worried at all. To the Crap Mobile!

]]> ~WimpleToad http://WimpleToad.deviantart.com/journal/26001595/ http://WimpleToad.deviantart.com/journal/26001595/ Fri, 17 Jul 2009 08:04:12 PDT
Soooooooo. Here is a post. It's a journal. *doing a little dance* Um. *Dragging my toe on the ground* Hmm...

I like tea! ... I'm gonna go to work now so I can make some tea and return some BPO's. I'm gonna have a granola bar too. It's hard posting a journal in the morning before I've had my tea. But I still like this journal better than my last two. It's a pleasing morning and I can see humming birds. They're territorial you know.

]]> ~WimpleToad http://WimpleToad.deviantart.com/journal/25990207/ http://WimpleToad.deviantart.com/journal/25990207/ Thu, 16 Jul 2009 16:55:15 PDT
For fuck sake what is wrong with people today? I personally never cared for the way the office building viewed the skateboarders. They didn't seem too abd. But from what I understand they've been loud and I've seen them knock over one of the planters once so I suppose keeping them off the grounds is fair enough. They almost never get in the way of my car though...almost. But if they're gonna behave like that I can see why the office tries to keep them away.

But even assuming that the old guy was rude and crotchedy as old men tend to be there is NO REASON TO ESCELATE TO VIOLENCE! He's an OLD MAN! If I ever pulled something like that as a kid my Father would have beaten me within an inch of my life, waited for me to heal and then repeated the process until I was 30. AHRG! I wish karma existed. Sadly I rarely see evidence that would lead me to believe that the offending little rat will recieve any punishment at all. Save for the fact that he probably has crappy parents which would be the source of the issue and not the karmatic justice he so rightly deserves.

]]> ~WimpleToad http://WimpleToad.deviantart.com/journal/25971229/ http://WimpleToad.deviantart.com/journal/25971229/ Wed, 15 Jul 2009 19:17:23 PDT
I checked her comments and other photos. She never references ANYTHING and she just lets people comment about how amazing her photos are without ever bothering to correct that they AREN'T HERS! I got PISSED! I never slam people on dev or really anywhere, but especially on the internet because I think it's cowardly but this was different. I posted in as polite a fashion as I could that anyone who appreciates the photo should remove it from their favs because it's not hers. I'm not going to say where she is because she does not deserve the recognition. I went to report the image when I realized they asked for a link to the original site. I didn't think they could get on fetlife, but I figured I would direct them to Charlys new account so they could verify with him. So closed it and went to get the link to report it and I saw Charlys now posting some photos! I was pleased to see he posted the one that was stolen called Lani and you can see it as HIS SITE at [link] Please have a look at his site as he is a wonderful and very talented man.

But I reported the image and suggested he do the same in case he didn't see the tiny little icon to report. I missed it the first time myself. But geeze people! If my art ever gets good enough to become theft worthy I'd be so angry! I work HARD to improve my art and I couldn't IMAGINE someone having the audacity to claim my hard work as their own! Why are people so horrible!!!??

]]> ~WimpleToad http://WimpleToad.deviantart.com/journal/25919282/ http://WimpleToad.deviantart.com/journal/25919282/ Mon, 13 Jul 2009 11:56:53 PDT
It’s fun finally being able to go to a club without Otra and having it just be a couple of hot girls. But I’m still hopelessly attached to Otra. Half the time I kept thinking, “Oh Otra should be here to see that!” Lol! I was joking with him that I need a little button for such occasions. I could wander around solo and them call in on a Dick Tracy watch to show him what’s up and then continue on my merry way being ogled by everyone in the room. I am a ham, and I don’t let it go to my head, but I do so enjoy being politely ogled.

I got to dance on a gogo table (and I didn’t fall off, I’m so proud!) and I did an amazingly magnanimous thing for Amie. I really wanted to play that night and we kept running into people we knew from Passive Arts, one of which was Charlyb! I hadn’t seen him in forever and I asked if he had a girl for the night. He did, but I let him know I was game if she backed out and I’d love to play more in the future. (He’s a great rope suspension artist!) But when we went to see his show Amie was enthralled and kept saying how cool it was and how could she learn to do that and how much she would love to try. I was glad she was finally starting to open up, because before that she'd been a little nervous all night.

Well when Charly was done with his girl he came over and asked if I’d like to get naked and come on up and I was about to say “Hell ya!” but I thought of how Amie had never had the pleasure of trying so I said, “Actually Amie would really love to give it a shot if you are willing to let her try.” He gave her a look and said okay and they both had an incredible time! She’s had aerial acrobatics experience which really paid off and Charly totally wants to play with her again! Sadly, I didn’t get to play that night, but I’m really stoked that they were able to have such a great time.

Besides. I plan on having Otra beat the bugeezus out of me at Passive Arts next week. Maybe we can even use our new ½ suspension rope technique! I can keep my feet on the ground so I can last longer, but my torso is suspended so that can bend over and lean into the rope

So that was my good deed for the day.

]]> ~WimpleToad http://WimpleToad.deviantart.com/journal/25900902/ http://WimpleToad.deviantart.com/journal/25900902/ Sun, 12 Jul 2009 14:24:02 PDT
I hate it when I feel things that I know I shouldn’t. When an irrational and immature emotion seizes me and my logic won’t muscle it aside I get so frustrated with myself.

Background: I was kind of an ugly duckling until about 18. By the time sexual attention was thrown my way I had developed insecurities and inhibitions and I didn’t know how to react. Plus I felt guilty for a long time about liking BDSM which added to my confusion. I finally ditched my hard core vanilla boy friend which did worlds of good for my sexual self image and when I met my fiancé Otra about 4 or 5 years ago, I finally started believing that sexuality is okay and I began to allow myself to enjoy attention without feeling guilty about it. So I’m not very practiced at seeing that attention showered on others.

The Jealousy: From this insecurity grows the occasional jealous bud which I stomp on to no avail. It persists whenever people I admire for any reason pay attention to another girl for the sake of her looks, her talents or what have you. I feel threatened and lessened in someway. Fortunately I’m not the type of person to be ruled by emotions and the feelings are not so powerful that they can’t be ignored. But their presence alone is enough to make me disgusted with myself.

I am a logical being plagued with emotions that will not be logiced away. I see clearly that affection for one person doesn’t mean less affection for me. I see someone else’s talent doesn’t lessen my own. But it doesn’t stop the twinge of jealousy. I don’t turn into a green eyed monster or anything, and I never let my jealousy effect how I behave or treat people. But I hate that I have to feel it at all! It’s such a buzz kill!

The Solution: I really want to work on my confidence level so that I can become assured enough in my own worth and value that when someone else gets attention I’m not bothered. That’s true strength and true beauty in my opinion and I want to make sure I treat myself with the respect I deserve so that I remember when the attention isn’t on me it doesn’t make me any less wonderful. And hey, I am wonderful! I’m biased, but I’m wonderful Not to mention it will open me up and allow me to be truly happy for those other girls and it won’t be tainted with green. Confidence in one self is its own form of strength and beauty. I aim to get it and banish petty jealous twinges from my feelings as best as any human is able!

]]> ~WimpleToad http://WimpleToad.deviantart.com/journal/25877506/ http://WimpleToad.deviantart.com/journal/25877506/ Sat, 11 Jul 2009 10:18:29 PDT
Oh my goodness I just got a call from my friend Chi and from my grandma. I gotta go. But yay life is productive today!

]]> ~WimpleToad http://WimpleToad.deviantart.com/journal/25858124/ http://WimpleToad.deviantart.com/journal/25858124/ Fri, 10 Jul 2009 10:57:03 PDT
I also have to get my dad the design for my wedding ring so he has time to get it to a T. I am pleased to say he is taking my advise and he and my uncle are opening a “business” though I don’t know how official it will be, and they are going to start selling their wood products! I am incredibly happy for him and I really hope they do well. I think Dad’s rings are beautiful and I plan on posting some here eventually.

I know I’ve been supposed to post a lot of stuff about my wedding so far and I haven’t but we are running behind our nonexistent schedule. I’m thinking I will give the cake to my sister. I really don’t’ know if I will have time to handle it. I kinda want it Tank Girl themed, but I’m not sure how to go about doing that. I’ve really got to sit down and think about this thing before I’m out of time. I think I’m suffering from the “I’d like to do so much more, but I have no money so let’s just not do anything” problem. I need to stop feeling like that start getting creative. Blah. So much to deal with. If I try some planning these next few days and I still have trouble I’ll give the cake to my sister. Or maybe I can get it close let her polish the design.

Babble babble. Now I must do some constructive thinking…lets hope I don’t hurt myself.

]]> ~WimpleToad http://WimpleToad.deviantart.com/journal/25826101/ http://WimpleToad.deviantart.com/journal/25826101/ Wed, 08 Jul 2009 20:21:37 PDT
]]> ~WimpleToad http://WimpleToad.deviantart.com/journal/25631804/ http://WimpleToad.deviantart.com/journal/25631804/ Mon, 29 Jun 2009 14:47:19 PDT Lol!

I’m so excited to back to CR! Even the parts of the accounting position I had liked, I can’t even do anymore and my work load is becoming so backed up because people refuse to give me approval to do my job that it’s going to be nearly impossible to get it untangled. I can’t wait to wash my hands of the cluster fuck that is the accounting department. Let someone else send 5 emails reminding people that the letters need to go out. Let someone else be ignored when she says certain accounts have no intention of paying their bills and should be cancelled before their balance grows further.

Don’t get me wrong. The people are lovely, but lovely people don’t automatically make an efficient work environment. I thought once I made my decision about which position to take I would still be torn and concerned with the outcome. But the closer I get to getting out of this position the happier I become. I’m going to dance over to my old crappy cube. It’s the only cube in the company that somehow didn’t get set up properly and it’s just bare wall and no cupboard, but it’s next to a girl that I can actually work with and not around. Joy!

Otra’s and my wedding is less than two months away. I have an awful lot that I still need to accomplish. I just have to keep plugging away. We just found out that we may actually be able to have a honeymoon! We couldn’t afford one so we were thinking maybe we could just do it for our first year anniversary or later if need be. But last night we found out his aunt and uncle are giving us $500 as a gift so we are thinking we can finally go see Cirque Du Soleil in Vegas. $500 wouldn’t normally be enough to cover a Vegas trip, but a good friend’s parents own a home out there that they are willing to let us stay in so we can actually afford to go! I am so excited! Funny thing is, we both kind of feel that Vegas is a group thing. We’re not sure we want to go as a couple because the best way to have a great time in Vegas is to have a small group. But who takes friends on honeymoons? Lol! We might! Hahaha! But if we did we’d have to wait for them to be able to afford the trip too and our friends are no wealthier than we are. Otra and I will have to talk about it once we have a moment. We only just found out about it after all.

]]> ~WimpleToad http://WimpleToad.deviantart.com/journal/25565864/ http://WimpleToad.deviantart.com/journal/25565864/ Fri, 26 Jun 2009 11:54:59 PDT
What tipped the scales was really when it got down to the wire I realized every time I leaned towards accounting and started listing all the logical reasons to choose that path I was always listing them off with a big sigh and a worried face. I would be going into a position that I knew I would have some fun in and I would get to learn more things, but I wasn’t happy about it. I was beginning to realize that both positions hold reasonable, if not similar pay, both have chances for advancement, and I’m happier doing CR. I like learning new things, but I like learning things I want to know about. I’ve never wanted to know about accounting. If I change my mind about that later, I can do it on my own.

Why was I trying to force myself into a position that would give me a greater ability to find a job that I didn’t really want? If I had wanted a secure job I sure as hell wouldn’t have wasted $40,000.00 on a college degree in art! Why start now?

I am fairly certain I will be at this company for three or four more years at least. But I’m better at crossing bridges when they are in site, and I don’t know what will happen if/when I leave the company. I may have no problem at all finding another position I like after leaving here, so why on earth would I make my life any less pleasant now to prepare for something that probably won’t happen. If customer relations were a dyeing field then staying in a sinking ship would indeed be foolish. But it’s not. When I placed CR up against a more stable/universally necessary job like accounting it made CR seem less stable than it really was. When I realized what I was doing the choice became that much more clear.

For the last two nights I actually had nightmares over this decision! The first night I dreamt I was taking classes but I’d somehow missed a few days so I might fail! Then last night it was more symbolic consisting of me trying on pants that were too small only to realize that I was in the junior section and I needed to go upstairs to the women’s department. I suddenly became decrepit on the way there and for some reason my legs wouldn’t work and I was being passed by old people on automatic chairs. I finally made it only to discover that it was a restaurant and not a shop. So as not to appear like I didn’t know where I was I tried to leave confidently. Somehow it became the women’s department anyway and I wound up trying to get a job instead of buy pants. I later found myself in a parking lot with checks that I’d accidentally torn in half instead of cashing and then I was mugged by homeless people.

I will be happy to stop having ridiculous dreams as a result of stress now.!

]]> ~WimpleToad http://WimpleToad.deviantart.com/journal/25500283/ http://WimpleToad.deviantart.com/journal/25500283/ Tue, 23 Jun 2009 16:45:37 PDT
So I am left with a very difficult decision on my hands. I like Customer Relations more, but it pays less, has less room for growth and will leave me with less options should I leave the company. But I love the people there and I’m not really big on climbing corporate ladders or making more money than I need to house and feed me and my boy. Sure I’d like to be a millionaire if someone’s got money to throw my way, but if I have to sacrifice a certain amount of my happiness to get that money, what is the price of my happiness? I’d say it’s damned expensive.

Accounting will pay more, have more room for growth and should I leave the company it will leave me more readily able to get another job. But I am frustrated with the way the accounting department is run and I am not fond of balancing accounts. With my training I should receive more autonomy in my position and maybe even put to rest some of the issues I currently despise about the position. There is happiness to be found in the security this position will provide and even in some of the tasks that it will require me to do. If indeed I acquire greater autonomy in this department as is the goal of my boss I may enjoy the position about as much as Customer Relations. Perhaps.

But looking at the unapplied credit memos that are two months old and my letters that are being ignored that are now over a month old I wonder if I will maintain sanity before the completion of a class. Once that class is over will Kandi suddenly have time to give me more responsibility? Not a chance. But she’ll have to. That is her goal by her own admission. How she plans on doing it I have no idea when she won’t take 5 minutes out of her day to approve work that I have completed and placed before her. If I want to pursue accounting later I can always take class on my own at a Community College. But if the occupation isn’t something I’m willing to go to school for on my own, why should I take it?

I feel like turning down the opportunity to train in accounting is a horribly stupid decision. I likewise feel that accepting the position when there is an alternative spot open in the company that I enjoy more and have more autonomy in would be inviting disaster and pissing on what really matters in life, namely happiness. Especially when my entire experience in accounting has been nothing short of depressing.

Mom says go for accounting. Otra is shocked I wasn’t jumping at the CR position like a ravenous beast although the two of us have been so busy I haven’t really been able to sit and chat with him about it. I need more advice. More opinions. I think I will be making phone calls tonight. Suggestions would be much appreciated folks.

]]> ~WimpleToad http://WimpleToad.deviantart.com/journal/25397074/ http://WimpleToad.deviantart.com/journal/25397074/ Thu, 18 Jun 2009 14:39:33 PDT
My hair is finally long enough I can pull it back in little half pigtails on the top of my head so I don’t have to wear a hat! I can also pull it back in to four pigtails like Tenmari from Naruto. I used to do that in college when my hair was growing out from the first time I cut it! So I’m looking forward to loosing my hat for a bit.

I also just discovered Laskadaisy! Check out his deviant account at [link] His comic is incredibly well drawn and the story is really fun! I broke my rule of no-more-books-until-I-get-rid-of-books-I-don’t-use so that I could buy his first volume. I will pull out a few art books that I don’t look at anymore and give them away so I’m not completely breaking my rule, because really, I don’t have anymore space in my bookshelf! But I love this guys work and the strips I read make me laugh.

So many things I need to do! I gotta get the fluids changed in my car and then pray it passes smog. It’s my grandparent’s last weekend in California before they move to Oregon, so I gotta visit again. I’m really going to miss my grandma. I gotta get the last bits of my hair taken care of and I have a doctors appointment on Friday, plus I’ve got a commission I’m trying to squeeze in. I’ve told me fiancé I’m a little behind and he says that for the next week he will take and hour each night to study his chemistry and I can be sure to draw while he does that. I think this is a good plan as we have been getting side tracked with everything from wedding planning to movies these last few days and ensuring a quite hour each night will really help!

]]> ~WimpleToad http://WimpleToad.deviantart.com/journal/25371418/ http://WimpleToad.deviantart.com/journal/25371418/ Wed, 17 Jun 2009 11:07:47 PDT
I was right to rush into getting traffic school out of the way. The day I got my sheet in the mail I set up the class for the next Saturday and finished it off last weekend. I’m glad I did because if I had one more things to do between today and the wedding I would freak. I still can’t believe I got nailed for that left turn when it was the SAFER choice! I may have been able to appeal to the judge if I had bothered to take it to court, but I just don’t have the time. I haven’t had a ticket in years and I guess it was about time I got another. I just wish it was for something that was actually unsafe and not the cop being a schmuck. When I got my speeding tickets when I was younger at least I kinda knew I earned those. This was a technicality of the law.

Thank goodness I have Pandora Radio at work. My Twangin’ Jitterbugs station keeps me sane. Thusly named because I’d intended it to be all swing and big band, but it started throwing in traditional bluegrass and I loved it, so now it goes between big band and banjos. Have you ever heard real bluegrass? It’s incredible! And let’s not forget the crooners. I have a soft spot for their voices and I find them unbelievably romantic. I’d follow them into war if they’d only sing to me on the way. You’d think that mix would be awful, but somehow it all flows together. It’s my favorite station right now.

I’m stoked that tonight Amie is coming over to bleach my hair and do a trial run on the finger wave! I’m a little worried about bleaching it, but I’ve always wanted to know what it would look like and I doubt that once I adjust to it that it will look bad. I think to set off the finger wave I need something other than dingy blonde. There’s plenty of reference photos in google images to show her what I’m looking for. I’m really excited and hoping for the best.

I’ve still gotta find shoes and jewelry! I have no idea what to get or where to look. I also want to take some time to go shopping with Otra for a suit. I can’t wait to see what he looks like all polished up. He dresses up even less than me, which is saying something! I’ve gotta get pictures together of what I’m wearing so the suit people will have something to match to! Ah, so many little things to do! I need to hit staples tonight before Amie gets there so I can get my printer up and running in order to print out my outfit. Now I know why people get wedding planners and I’m not even having a big wedding!

And the Scottish Highland Games are coming up in Vista on the 27th and 28th! I haven’t even purchased tickets! I gotta talk to Candice about that tomorrow. I love any excuse to see the Wicked Tinkers live, so I’d like to go, but everything is so busy! But if Candice is going, I will too because it’s my home town and that way we can crash at my parents. But she’s going to Hawaii with her family all next week and won’t be back until the 26th, (I get to watch her Leopard Gecko while she’ gone) so it may be too much for her! If she doesn’t go it is as good a year as any to stay home and maintain sanity. Woooo, so much to do!

]]> ~WimpleToad http://WimpleToad.deviantart.com/journal/25328381/ http://WimpleToad.deviantart.com/journal/25328381/ Mon, 15 Jun 2009 12:15:30 PDT
My boy will be in chiropractic college for the next three years at least so I need to keep as stable a position as possible during that time. If I take this accounting promotion it will include an eventual raise in pay. This will enable me to increase my support for Otra while he’s in college, and a raise is always a good thing. Especially since our company is so broke they had to split reviews last year because they couldn’t afford to give everyone raises at the same time. Guess who’s review date got pushed back so she didn’t get a raise last year? I’m sure you guessed it. Give yourself a cookie.

So I will accept the training and it won’t be so bad. There are jobs I would enjoy less and some I would enjoy more. But there is nothing that says I have to stay where I am forever. I am young still and it’s uncommon for people to stay in the same company for most of their working life.

---Rings---

I got to visit my family this Sunday and Dad’s rings are getting exponentially more beautiful with each new idea he has! I’m currently wearing a red heart ring with a black wood band sided by two thin strips of maple. Then the liner has a crisscrossing band of blackwood and maple as well. Once he’s done with the actual wedding rings I really hope he tries to sell these. Nobody else does rings with decorated liners and his are incredibly beautiful! I can’t wait to post some pictures of them, but I kinda wanna wait until it’s my wedding ring to post one. Well see.

I’ve started a trend in the family! Everyone’s running around with wooden rings now and every time dad goes around to show off his latest creations, people fall in love with them and he gives them away. I’m so glad I’ve given him an excuse to play with something he really enjoys.

My grandparents are moving up to Bend, Oregon on the 23rd to join the other family members that have already made the jump from California. I’m really going to miss my grandma. She is one of my best friends and I love to see her and talk with her. I’m glad she’s one of the few people I enjoy talking on the phone with. I’m not normally big on talking on the phone, but somehow my grandma has always been an exception to that rule.

o~Sirens are screaming. Inside the winding sheets are pale. The Devils are dreaming, dreaming of a Blue Angel.~o

]]> ~WimpleToad http://WimpleToad.deviantart.com/journal/25277272/ http://WimpleToad.deviantart.com/journal/25277272/ Fri, 12 Jun 2009 16:54:40 PDT
Holy hell in a hand basket. I’m stunned. Stunned. I’ve just been offered training to further my position in my company, but it feels like I have just been asked to sell my soul. I was going to try to beg my boss for more responsibility today, or at least the ability to see my current responsibilities through to completion without needing to wait for approval. Before I even got a chance she calls me into her office and says she’s been talking to Bijan and they want to offer to pay for accounting courses for me so I can assume more responsibility. Yay?

You see, I went to school to try and get a career in art. That didn’t go so well. I didn’t find my niche until my last semester of college. I realized in one of my last courses that I was pretty good at texture art, albeit a little slow. But nothing came of that after graduation, and I had to choose between living with my parents and keep trying for a career I didn’t feel qualified to be in, or to move out and get another job and at least establish financial independence. I chose the latter because living at home was causing some major depression issues.

So I job hopped for a bit until I landed a stable job as a receptionist for my current company. Within a year I was given additional responsibility and another year after that I was promoted to another position. But 9 or 10 months later I was laid off. My position had been cut due to the serious downturn of the economy. But my boss was incredible and he rallied to keep me in the company and managed to get me a spot in accounting instead of just being let go. It was that or loose my job, so I took it as a lateral transfer. No pay increase. The little voice in the back of my head kept whining about how I never wanted to do accounting. I purposefully never applied for accounting positions because of all things that I thought would be the worst job, accounting would be it. My Mom (I love her dearly) has spent her life in dead end clerical jobs never making more than about $15/hour and I never wanted to do that. But here I was being told, take this accounting job or find another job in this hellish economy. So I told my little voice that if she wanted to eat she’d best shut the fuck up and now I’m an accountant.

I kept waiting for another lay off because I had even less work to do in the new position. I’ve been scrounging for work for months and I never got more to do. Finally I was going to really let Kandi know that her being behind is making what little I do handle difficult and could I please just bypass her approval so that I can get my job done, but she beats me to the punch! She called me in first thing this morning and wants to know if I will accept training at the companies expense to learn more about accounting to accept more responsibilities? So why do I feel like I’ve been kicked in the gut?

This is good. In every position I look at this from is a praise! It speaks well of me as a person and as an employee that I have been so looked after at this company. They are willing to pay to enable to me to assist them more because they have faith in my abilities. I’ve been saved from the axe once and this could essentially be a second time, though they are trying not to paint it as such. But realistically how long can I hold a position where I am able to type journal entries this long during work hours? I don’t want a job like that and they don’t want to pay to keep a position like that. This will help us both! Why am I so sad?

I look at my friend Kristen and she’s made it into the gaming industry. Markus, he might not have an art job, but at least he found a position at Blizzard! At least he’s around artistic minded folk. Chi does caricatures at Disneyland, so she’s around…well, screaming children, but she’ doing art! I’m around, office people. Who like office things. They are good people and I like them a lot. But they are so vanilla, and I don’t mean that in a BDSM sense. I guess I feel like a failure. At least in customer relations they liked my quirkiness. In accounting I really feel like the don’t get me. They don’t like cartoons or kung fu movies and they think it’s weird that I do. They don’t know who Bolo, Guy LaDouche, Invader Zim or the Tick are, let alone why they are plastered all over my cubicle. To them, it’s childish. To me, it’s why I don’t throw myself out the window after a long days work.

But when I look at the hours Kristen and Markus work I wouldn’t take their jobs if you offered them to me. I wouldn’t want to spend that much time away from Otra and my friends! I have a firm belief that life requires a balance, and that regular working hours are already bordering on being too much work which takes away from personal time and time with fri... ]]> ~WimpleToad http://WimpleToad.deviantart.com/journal/25238248/ http://WimpleToad.deviantart.com/journal/25238248/ Wed, 10 Jun 2009 15:03:28 PDT
But he’s had all kinds of great experiences save for breaking a bone: an elephant ride and bottle feeding a fairly large baby tiger as well as eating a scorpion. We miss him but we are so relieved he’s not being shot at this time. When he goes to Iraq and Afghanistan he’s in the front lines and we always worry. As far as I know this is the worst he’s been injured on tour! Funny how that works, huh? I wish he would be home in time for the wedding, but he’s not getting back until September.

It was so great to hear from him! That was such a wonderful pick me up I am ready to face my day! Way to kick grumpy feelings to the curb!

]]> ~WimpleToad http://WimpleToad.deviantart.com/journal/25234411/ http://WimpleToad.deviantart.com/journal/25234411/ Wed, 10 Jun 2009 11:36:46 PDT
I think I am going to pick up an ASL book on my way home tonight. I have reached a time when I don’t have any books to read and I have no desire to get sucked into another series because I have a lot to handle for the next few months. But it occurred to me, my deaf cousins will be coming to my wedding. Most of the family that sign have moved to Oregon and won’t be able to make it down, so it looks like my aunt Cathy will be the only person there who understands them and I don’t want that to be the case.

See, when I was a kid my cousin David was much older than me and I had no burning desire to speak to an adult who I rarely saw anyway. Especially since I’m rather shy. But now that I’m older and the age gap isn’t that big of a deal, it’s kind of a shame that we can’t talk. So I think now would be a good time to start learning a bit of sign language during my lunch breaks. Worst case scenario I’ll hate learning it, fling the book off my balcony in disgust and concuss one of the small children below. Wish me luck!

Someone stole our towels out of the laundry room! We had to go buy all new ones over the weekend! At least they didn’t take anything else and they were ugly crappy towels. I’d been wanting some new ones for a while but I’m too practical to throw something out if it’s still useful. So this was a nice excuse to get some matching ones.

I’m having a bit of a downer day and I’m not sure why. I typed out a bunch of ranting and then deleted it. I really try not to rant unless I truly feel the need to, and even then I like to get it off my journal as quick as possible. Ranting is only good for blowing off steam and normally just typing it out is enough for me. From there I’d rather focus on something more pleasant or find a solution to my problem.

I guess I’m just PMSing a bit. Thank god I’m not as bad as some girls who go fucking nuts. I often don’t have any symptoms outside of a slightly achy lower back, but sometimes I get a little moody and emotional, kinda like now. It just gets a little harder to brush off the little things that assail me throughout the day that I would normally brush off with ease. I just wanna curl up at home and listen to music and doodle or grab that ASL book. Maybe practice signing with a hot pad on my back. Sounds pleasant. Sounds better than being at work. But I am at work, and there’s certainly worse places to be. So be it.

I will have lunch with my baby at 1, head back to work at 2, get off at 5, swing my Barnes & Noble to get the book and head home. Then I’ll try and play some DDR or practice with the floggers for exercise and after that I’ll set about foraging for food. I bought more baby bock choy, but we are out of oyster sauce. Don’t make that face, it’s tasty! From there I can doodle or try signing until my honey gets home. Maybe practice rope work. All in all it will be a lovely day. I shouldn’t let myself get down, and I’m looking forward to my lunch and the evening. I’m already feeling a little better.

]]> ~WimpleToad http://WimpleToad.deviantart.com/journal/25196087/ http://WimpleToad.deviantart.com/journal/25196087/ Mon, 08 Jun 2009 11:18:04 PDT
I got to start my Monday morning off with a quick walk to the donut store with my honey today! Have I mentioned that I love where I live? Because I do. My location is the best in the world!

--Kink friendly only beyond this point—

We got to go to the club Saturday night too! It was 50’s Sock Hop themed and Otra, Amie and I went as greasers. We got some cute pictures. The club was so much fun and Otra and I got to play even though it was Amie’s first time. I was a little worried she wouldn’t feel comfortable if we took a moment to play, but she was cool with it. My ass looks like a purple appaloosa! I hope it doesn’t make it too tender if we get to go to the club next week as well!

One of my favorite toys is still our Smash Ball paddle. No kidding! Some light sanding and several coats of varnish turn them into great toys! I broke our first one on my ass and I was so proud! Really it’s because it wasn’t varnished all the way down the handle so there was a seam where the varnish ended and it broke along that seam. But every sub is proud when their top is able to break a toy on their ass no matter how weak the toy! Fortunately they come in packs of two and Otra did a complete varnish on the second paddle so there is no weak point. I have yet to break that one, though it doesn’t stop me from trying.

Strangely enough we couldn’t find another pair after that first one for at least a year and we feared we wouldn’t have a spare if our last one bit the dust. Then one of the families he tutors for was going to throw theirs out and Otra said he’d take them. He came home with another pair. Then, when it rains it pours, we walked into a grocery store about a week later and on the first rack that’s often filled with odds and ends and sale items there was a whole supply of brand new Smash Ball paddles! We both simultaneously gasped and made various exclamations and bought another set. Now we have 5 paddles! Lol! We are probably going to give a couple away as presents once they’re sanded and varnished. Nothing like spreading the love around!

We splurged on a new blindfold. We’d been using a scarf length piece of soft cloth that we got from a fabric store, but at the club Otra fell in love with a hardened leather eye mask molded to the shape of eyes and a nose and it was lined with fur on the inside. We may need to put one more hole in the strap but it’s really pretty and very comfortable.

]]> ~WimpleToad http://WimpleToad.deviantart.com/journal/25140776/ http://WimpleToad.deviantart.com/journal/25140776/ Fri, 05 Jun 2009 10:09:10 PDT
Wedding planning is going well. My friend found an amazing karaoke joint up in Los Angeles that we are going to go to for the bachelorette party called La Défence. I have offered to let San Diego folk crash at my place if they don’t want to drive all the way back home that night. We didn’t even bother swinging by Elvis Karaoke last night we were so pleased with the new location. But we still had ramen and ice cream! Yum! And I got to hang with Candice and even Markus joined us (mj_battle on dev) whom I haven’t seen in a while.

Also, Amie sent me a picture of her first attempt at a finger wave since her training in beauty school and it looks awesome! I’m so excited and I really think this is going to go well. I can’t wait for the trial run on my head! And I can’t wait for the club tomorrow! I’m so busy, but things are going swimmingly, and I’m always stoked on a Friday to know that I’ve got a weekend coming my way.

I’ve been listening to a station I made on Pandora a lot recently. I’ve always loved big band and swing music so I made a station based on Squirrel Nut Zippers and Benny Goodman and I can’t get enough of it these days. For some reason there’s the occasional bluegrass song in there but they choose songs that are so insanely technical and good that I don’t mind the occasional interruption with crazy banjo picking and fiddle sawing. Good music is good music, period!

Ramble ramble, blah blah blah. I just like killing time and hearing myself type these days!

o~Moon faced and starry eyed. I’m going to bust my vest with pride. I never lived baby, not at all ‘til I met you!~o

]]> ~WimpleToad http://WimpleToad.deviantart.com/journal/25104123/ http://WimpleToad.deviantart.com/journal/25104123/ Wed, 03 Jun 2009 09:45:34 PDT
In less depressing news I think I have found a hair style for the wedding! A finger wave! I’ve always loved that 20’s flapper hair for its novelty and with a miniature top hat and veil I think it will look great! Amie is a friend who’s helping me with hair and she hasn’t done a finger wave since beauty school. But she’s gonna practice a couple times and then in two weeks we’ll meet up again, bleach my hair and do a trial run. My fingers are crossed. This has the potential to look either really cheesy or really classy and I’m of course hoping for the latter.

----Kink Friendly Only Beyond This Point----

In more awesome news Amie joining Otra and I at the club this Saturday! She’s interested in BDSM and has been a little unlucky finding a beau that isn’t squeamish about such things. Hopefully she will have a great time being around like minded folk. I’m excited to have her along. I always love introducing people to the scene and this will be the second time I’ll get to do it with someone who’s actually into BDSM and not just a curious vanilla onlooker. That’s cool too because I’m proud of anyone who is willing to step out of their bubble to see how different people like to get their kicks without being judgmental towards it. But it’s always extra fun taking someone who already likes the idea!

I may not play with her there though, which is kinda sad because I’ve been craving play time lately! But I always find I get really self conscious about playing around people that I knew outside of the scene first. And she's known Otra through fencing for a long time so I don't want to make her uncomfortable if it looks like she would rather not see Otra in that light. But from how they talk I think she's indifferent to it. But for me, I’m a nervous player anyway and if I feel too watched I can’t drop very deep. So I normally keep my eyes closed or focused on the floor so I don’t see whose in the room. But hopefully things will go smoothly and we can play a little and have fun showing her around.

Off to drink tea and have a banana breakfast!

]]> ~WimpleToad http://WimpleToad.deviantart.com/journal/25069769/ http://WimpleToad.deviantart.com/journal/25069769/ Mon, 01 Jun 2009 13:02:06 PDT
I am meeting with a friend tonight to discuss what can be done with my current ungodly hair for the wedding. I’m thinking before the wedding I’m going to go platinum blonde because I’ve always wanted to see what it looks like on me. If I hate it I can get a wig or go for the hawk. I know, I know, I was supposed to have a blue Mohawk for the wedding, but fate seems to be nudging me another direction.

For example, Hilary wanted to make a gift of one of her beautiful little miniature top hats for my wedding and it would be easier to anchor it with hair. Plus when I talked to Mom about the concern Beth blew out of proportion at me, my mother assured me that she has no problem with the outfits and she loves them, though her favorite is the skirt, not the dress. She has no problem with the corset either, but that she is worried because she loves the outfit so much and she feels a Mohawk will clash. I am willing to work with my Mom on that. Besides, if I go platinum and love it I may not be in a hurry to buzz my head until I’ve gotten a good wear out if it!

I am also going to make it a point to swing by Shin Sen Gumi this week so I can in turn swing by Elvis Karaoke, which is nearby, and scope it out as a possible bachelorette party location. For those of you in the Orange county Los Angeles area, Shin Sen Gumi in Fountain Valley is the best Japanese ramen house in both counties! It’s tiny and there’s almost always a long wait in the evening, but if you want authentic Japanese ramen it’s the best! I’m just sad that I can’t find a They Might Be Giants Karaoke CD. I’m not big on singing, but if you started playing Cyclops Rock or Istanbul I would be on the microphone in a heart beat! And everyone can sing along to Minimum Wage!

I think I will be able to solve my party cleaning problem. Melanie has informed me that her mother uses a maid during and after the party and she’s really good! I have asked for her contact info so I can see what she would charge and I think that would be the best way to go. I’m hoping she’s not really expensive.

I gotta go eat lunch now. I’m starving!

]]> ~WimpleToad http://WimpleToad.deviantart.com/journal/25048303/ http://WimpleToad.deviantart.com/journal/25048303/ Sun, 31 May 2009 10:04:43 PDT
I went to visit my family yesterday, and as usual I have returned from the bowels of Vista in a fowl mood. I was held as a captive audience to my sisters insane ranting and queries of incredibly poor taste as she drove me from the train station in Oceanside to Vista. Apparently it's not just the wedding outfit people are concerned with, it's the union as a whole. My family (probably mostly just my sister) feels that I'm more excited about the wedding than I am about Otra, and she wonders am I sure I want to get married based on a comment taken completely out of context about how I might not be getting married right away if it weren't for my family, their views, and the many traumatic events that have been taking place in the last few years. Long story short, she took my lack of a desire to wait for a more financially stable moment and a time of less stress and sickness to plan my wedding as the equivalent of me saying I didn't want to marry Otra. I'm not waiting for a moment that may never come. I'm doing it now in the midst of bad finances, foreclosure, illness and our attempts to skirt deaths looming shadow because damn it, there may not be a better time to bring Otra into the family and in a year or two God only knows who will be left to celebrate with.

Where does the kink warning fit in? I wish I could tell you! I have no idea how it got brought up in that car ride. I think she probably slid it in there amidst her accusations that I was selecting my wardrobe for the sole purpose of sticking something to my family and proving some imaginary point. Then, as I was going to say that Otra's mom had already shopped with Hilary and loves her clothes (Hilary is the person I'm getting my wedding outfit from) Beth shouted at me and told me she didn't want to know about how she went to "a sex club" with her son. In shocked horror I simply stated "it's not a sex club it's a BDSM club, there's a difference." I didn't bother to correct anything beyond that. Why tell her that's not what I was going to say? Why waste explaining the circumstances of how the notion of Otra's mom coming to the club even came up? There's no reason to explain that she still hasn't, and may never go. My sister doesn't deserve to hear about Otra and his mother. It's a bond of trust and love she could never understand. It sickens me to know that she is painting their relationship as some trashy, torrid, poorly written incestuous novel and coloring it with all the powers of her warped reality and that she has no desire to understand what their relationship is actually like. I couldn't even speak when I realized what she was so obviously thinking about them.

I felt stupid for not noticing sooner that she is living in a fantasy world. She's said things before that demonstrate that she thinks my BDSM experience is something that it's not and though I have corrected her each time, it was to no avail. She has no concern with reality or fact. She enjoys living in a cage of lies that will enable her to feel superiority over me and anyone else who likes kink.

She is so self righteous and hypocritical, basking in any form of kink or sexual exploit when it involves herself, but becomes judgmental and hostile towards anyone else who dares live a life unashamed of sexuality. She made me so angry I can't hardly think straight. I hate that I am constantly faced with the fact that if this woman weren't my sister I would have beaten her to a bloody pulp long ago and left her for dead. I love her very much and if anyone ever hurt her I would kill them, but I want to strangle the life from her every time she opens her mouth. I trusted her with the knowledge that I participate in BDSM and nothing much more beyond that. It's not like I call her up and tell her about scenes or how things went at the club. I don't force it on her. It was just a moment one day when I had the misfortune of thinking that I've seen my sister at hush parties and I've heard the things she's done and I didn't think she would look down on me for knowing I like BDSM, so I told her because I was particularly happy that day at the discovery of the club and so many like minded kinky folk. I wanted to share with someone close to me who I thought would at least be mildly interested.

I was wrong to have given her that trust because she has repeatedly stepped all over it and even resorted to calling me names at one point. It would be easy to accept her apology for that particularly juvenile display if from that day on she didn't continually find ways to make it known that she thinks I'm sick and disgusting. It's dreadful... ]]> ~WimpleToad http://WimpleToad.deviantart.com/journal/25014810/ http://WimpleToad.deviantart.com/journal/25014810/ Fri, 29 May 2009 12:48:34 PDT
Granted my sister has learned tact as she’s gotten older and she very gingerly wrestled with the idea that perhaps I could get my Mohawk after the wedding or maybe not wear a corset. But when I called her out on the fact that there was a bit of an attempt to sway my choices in a completely new direction she said that yes “the family” is concerned and it’s all “very different.” So I told her that I am prepared to tell the family “no” and wear what I want. They liked my sketch of the skirt I showed them before. I chose a skirt that looks exactly like the sketch and all of a sudden they are squeamish! The sketch was the time to speak up. They missed it.

Everyone else thinks it will be beautiful. But most importantly, I think it will be beautiful and Otra thinks it’s hot! My boy and I are the two people I’m interested in pleasing with this wedding outfit. Anyone else is a bonus.

In the mean time I have millions of other things to concern myself with because I have been insanely busy lately. I wish I were busy right now at work, but we can’t all get what we want. My evenings have been stuffed with chores, events and wedding preparations. But I’m also having fun with a lot of it so I’m alright with it. I’ll get some time to breath eventually, and if not, I’m not afraid to make some time.

]]> ~WimpleToad http://WimpleToad.deviantart.com/journal/25001339/ http://WimpleToad.deviantart.com/journal/25001339/ Thu, 28 May 2009 16:40:49 PDT
I get most of my sock fix from [link]. For people who don’t like links, that’s www dot sockdreams dot com. I looooove that site with an unholy passion. I just got the sheer jeweled gloves and three pairs of stockings.

They aren’t getting anymore of one of my favorite socks which is a nude stocking with a striped Cuban heel and a black beam and so they actually lowered the price! I already have one pair, but it’s only a matter of time before I run them so I bought another pair for only $5! Wee! I love socks!

I also got to have a little fun last night since I didn’t have to go to Hell. (I'm not being facetious, it's a club) I took a little time to do my very first solo rope suspension! Don’t worry, I had the trauma sheers and a cell phone within easy reach and I made sure I was tied low enough that I could immediately relieve any rope tension by planting my feet and just standing up. I don’t have a death wish.

It was a lot of fun! It wasn’t pretty, but it worked! I used our 50 foot rope to wrap around my waist and both upper thighs. Then I used a 25 footer to attach to the front garters that connected the waist harness to the thighs and looped that through our carabineer. One of these days we will actually find a bloody diving ring! Oh how I drool for the day! But I basically just made a swing that wrapped around my body and I could just sit and swing! Wee!

Otra and I haven’t gotten to play much so I decided to go it alone. It's because Otra doesn't like to play at the apartment, but he's okay with ropes because there's no noise involved. But my tale of solo suspension lit a fire under us both and now we’re eager to do some suspension Friday. Maybe even tonight if for any reason we’re not hanging with Candice and Co. Which reminds me I should text her….just a second. Waiting for a reply! Processing! Ooo! She’s bringing Chinese foods! I love kung pow chicken! Okay, suspension will happen tomorrow. Tonight will be Chinese food and weirdness. Hurrah!

]]> ~WimpleToad http://WimpleToad.deviantart.com/journal/24978402/ http://WimpleToad.deviantart.com/journal/24978402/ Wed, 27 May 2009 12:15:53 PDT
What on god’s green earth is getting me out to sub-par BDSM club on a work night you ask? Who am I and what have I done with Rebecca because she would never stay out until 3am on a Wednesday night at a club where there isn’t even sufficient play space and she has work the next day? Let alone one that’s in Hollywood that will leave her with a full 30-40 minute drive home in the wee hours of the morning?

Some of you may have guessed that since there are not going to be helium filled balloon animals, root beer floats and free pony rides at a BDSM club…not actual ponies anyway…that it must be a friend in distress. If that is your guess then you have guessed correctly. And you win nothing. Nothing at all, save the smug satisfaction that while you are sleeping soundly in your beds this evening I will be proudly and courageously manning, or rather womanning, Hilary’s Vanity booth for eager patrons!

I hope to god I don’t fuck things up. The last time I worked in clothing retail it was nothing short of a cataclysmic abomination to all things fashion. And that was during the day. My brain stops working right around 9pm when the club is just gonna start kicking, and then I’ve gotta keep going until 2:30 and clean up! Sweet Jesus I’m gonna bring a thermos of hot chocolate and pray to god I make it home in one piece.

Poor Hilary was supposed to have the company of a friend named Alex this evening, but apparently he found out at the last minute he’d accidentally double booked his sisters birthday party with helping Hilary. Tons of phone calls later she gets me and I can’t let her run the booth alone, so I say I’ll lend a hand. Woo this is gonna hurt. But I’m going make it as fun as possible. After all, I get to hang with Hilary and enjoy being around like minded kinky folk.

I told my boss I may be in late tomorrow. But I have a plan. I live only 5 minutes from my job. I normally get to work at 8, but if I sleep in until 8:45, pull on some clothes and slither to work by 9 I can work through lunch and still get off at 5 without having to take any time off! Plus I’ll get almost 6 hours of sleep if I can get home around 3am. Not too shabby huh? Sometimes I amaze myself!

Wish me luck folks! And buy me a soda if you’re at the club because I deserve it!

---EDIT---

HOT DIGITY! No sooner had I posted this journal than I got a call from Hilary saying her aunt can cover the booth! I kinda feel bad though. She had said her aunt wasn't feeling well and would let her know today if she was up to going. We didn't think she would, but happily she is! However, I asked what was wrong with her aunt and apparently she has a chronic illness that keeps her feeling pretty bad most days. I felt so bad! I told Hilary I felt awful and I'm willing to go if she's not feeling well. I told Hilary to be absolutely certain that she's feeling well tonight and if for ANY reason she isn't up to it this evening to call me back and I will go because I already cleared things with my boss to show an hour late.

But I'm very happy it looks like I will get to sleep tonight. I also have a lot of emails to start collecting so we can send out wedding emails.

]]> ~WimpleToad http://WimpleToad.deviantart.com/journal/24959390/ http://WimpleToad.deviantart.com/journal/24959390/ Tue, 26 May 2009 11:34:48 PDT [link] because they are beyond sexy! I wish I could have ordered directly from her line for an outfit, but I had a particular skirt cut in mind and so I’m ordering through her instead. But either way I love giving her business because she’s so great. I’ve always got a running list of clothes that I want to buy from her, and I’m going to just as soon as I recover from the wedding expenses. You should give her business too! Go look and be amazed!

She’s one of a couple of people from the club scene that I desperately wish we lived closer to. But she’s way up in North LA and we’re in Orange so it makes hanging out pretty rough.

Otra and I were supposed to get the wedding emails out this weekend, but he’s been sick for the last two days and therefore has not felt like taking a bunch of pictures. We’re hoping he’ll feel up to it tonight. To make our lives easier we’re going to go to Diamond Plaza to take photos in the little crazy Japanese booths they have there. It’s fun and inexpensive. Then maybe we can play a few games at AI and buzz over to the sukiyaki joint and have a late dinner. Mmm, sukiyaki!

Remember! Check out Hilary’s Vanity at [link] for beautiful and erotic clothing!

]]> ~WimpleToad http://WimpleToad.deviantart.com/journal/24889012/ http://WimpleToad.deviantart.com/journal/24889012/ Fri, 22 May 2009 11:16:47 PDT
I’m going to look for a wedding outfit in Los Angeles tomorrow. As I am not a traditionalist I would have probably drug Otra along so he could help me choose. Luck boy has been saved by class! Lol! But my Mom, my sister and my oldest friend are going to be joining me and that is plenty of company I suppose.

I have started another macramé bottle and this one is taking much longer than the others because I am really trying to make it more detailed. I think this next one will turn out really beautifully.

Ooo! We just discovered that San Diego County permits people to become a commissioner for a day so they can perform weddings! Not only is it way cheaper than trying to get a Justice of the Peace to make a house call on a weekend, this way Otra and I can pick someone we actually know and respect to perform our wedding ceremony! Sweet! Hurrah! Now we just have to pick someone and make up our emails to announce to all the official date and time! Wee! Things will eventually fall into place!

]]> ~WimpleToad http://WimpleToad.deviantart.com/journal/24872090/ http://WimpleToad.deviantart.com/journal/24872090/ Thu, 21 May 2009 11:30:11 PDT
]]> ~WimpleToad http://WimpleToad.deviantart.com/journal/24820085/ http://WimpleToad.deviantart.com/journal/24820085/ Mon, 18 May 2009 10:42:55 PDT
For example, I have the next Dresden book to read, Turn Coat. I can ensure I work out everyday this week instead of a couple times. I have a new carving knife that I can make another soap carving out of. If I get some nice ones, maybe next week I can go to the carving club at the Rockler I found on Tustin! I have more bottles to macramé. I need to design some tiki faces to carve, or maybe color the “confident” expression on my expression sheet and set that as my avatar for my blog. I also have and evening of chatter to spend with Kristen, my comrade from college.

My point is that it can be hard to remember on a Monday morning that I should be excited to get up and start a new week. Life is temporary and precarious existence, and it should be enjoyed while it lasts. It can take some meditation on the finer things in life to remind myself that I love living! I love the time that I spend doing all kinds of stuff! Sure there’s some hours in there that are less than entertaining, but life is about balancing those necessary work hours with times of play. You can’t enjoy a clean home without throwing in some elbow grease and picking up once in a while. I wouldn’t have cash to buy sketchbooks, macramé thread and delicious teas were it not for my job. I can live with that, because I love what I do.

By “what I do” I don’t mean accounting, which is probably the one thing I would have said I would never want to do as a child, but it was either that or loose my job because I got laid off from my other position. What I do is create things and enjoy simple pleasures that make me smile, like hanging out with my fiancé and friends, eating delicious foods, listening to music and keeping my little apartment in reasonably good order so that I have a beautiful little haven to come home to and share with others. Sure I wish it were a bit easier, but it’s not. And it’s still worth it.

So it’s Monday, and it’s worth waking up to!

]]> ~WimpleToad http://WimpleToad.deviantart.com/journal/24722362/ http://WimpleToad.deviantart.com/journal/24722362/ Tue, 12 May 2009 14:45:08 PDT
Dad gets so excited he goes out and touches all the rings before they finish drying (he puts a coat of varnish on them) and they get smudges. It’s sad because his neuropathy has progressed to the point where he has no feeling in his finger tips. He can sense pressure, but not touch or texture. He can’t tell when the resin is still tacky. I had to make him hang two back up to keep drying because he handed them to me and they were still sticky. I get so scared for him.

I’m going to try my hand at some soap carving. If I don’t suck, I’m going to grab some of his scrap chunks of wood and carve little designs and necklaces out of them. I’m planning on making a wood ring and macramé collar! Even if I can’t make my own rings I know dad can turn them on the lathe for me. I’ll just say they’re for a “necklace” if I have to do that. I’m thinking Koa with black thread. Koa is such a beautiful wood, it looks like it’s on fire! Maybe a blue spruce with white and silver thread! Ah, but white gets so dirty so quickly. I think it will be a lot of fun though! If I succeed I will definitely post pictures!

You know, I think I may make a solid wood collar! How beautiful would that be! How would it close? A hinge? I’ll have to think more on this one. *Devilish Grin.*

]]> ~WimpleToad http://WimpleToad.deviantart.com/journal/24702317/ http://WimpleToad.deviantart.com/journal/24702317/ Mon, 11 May 2009 12:10:38 PDT
I finally asked him about it while we tinkered with rings in the garage yesterday. I’ve been worried about his less than effusive response to my engagement. He’s got a lot on his plate right now even without my marriage but I couldn’t help but draw a connection to his sadness and my marriage even though I know it’s not the whole of it.

He told me that it’s not anything to worry about and it’s simply that he is a father and therefore he feels that no one is good enough to marry his little girls. I smiled and told him “your daughter doesn’t walk on water.” He smiled right back and said “that doesn’t mean the man that marries her shouldn’t.” I love my Dad so much. He said it’s for him to deal with and I can’t argue with that.

Then came what I really thought was worrying him. It’s nice to know I wasn’t entirely off base about my hunch. He is still deeply saddened by my loss of faith. I can see in his eyes (not to mention he said it out right the first time it came up) that he feels his life amounts to nothing and he has failed as a father if Beth and I don’t believe. He truly feels that way, and it breaks my heart to know it. It also sickens me to know that a belief that should provide comfort and assurance has been twisted to make him feel so truly awful and it makes me hate the faith all the more. I may have lost a lot of my “Super Dad” complex over the years, but that doesn’t mean I no longer think he can leap tall buildings in a single bound.

My dad is an amazing person, and an even more amazing father. When I think that his religious views make him feel otherwise, it makes me want to wrap my fingers around Christianity’s metaphorical neck and squeeze until its self righteous head pops off. Nothing should make my father feel bad about himself! If Christianity were a person I would have long since pounded its sorry ass to a pulp.

*sigh* This is pointlessly sad thinking. It’s not going to do me any good. I just worry that they all seem so very sad right now. I’m not saying they should be stupidly happy all the time, but they have been freaking out, stressed and upset for years about one thing or another and it looks like it’s never going to end. I just want them all to be happy. More than anything, they deserve to be happy.

]]> ~WimpleToad http://WimpleToad.deviantart.com/journal/24648843/ http://WimpleToad.deviantart.com/journal/24648843/ Fri, 08 May 2009 09:32:04 PDT
So I’m gonna order some calcium carbonate online and hope it ships by next Thursday so we can give this a serious test. There are a lot of people that claim it’s a hoax, but none of them have actually tried it! The intelligence level of most of these people is obscenely low as they have made comments like “just use antacid tablets, or salt, or baking soda instead.” Anyone with half a brain who actually watched the video and wanted to attempt the experiment would have the urge to grab these people and shake them like a nanny possessed! No one has been able to state that they attempted the experiment and had it fail. They’re all too lazy to actually do it right. Of course the fact that the guy who made the video to begin with mislabeled his ingredients gives me pause. And I too am fairly certain this guy is full of it. But I don’t see why that should stop us from an evening of fun and merriment! At least if our experiment fails we’ll have had a great time playing with fizzy liquids and alcohol. No there is no alcohol in the experiment…we’ll just throw that in for us!

]]> ~WimpleToad http://WimpleToad.deviantart.com/journal/24634226/ http://WimpleToad.deviantart.com/journal/24634226/ Thu, 07 May 2009 12:11:05 PDT

But I did do an orgasm face which was fun! It could use some work… probably because I was more excited to draw the boobies , but it’s pretty cool! I haven’t seen anyone include that very important facial expression on their sheets! Why is that?

I hope to have a nice expression sheet post for this weekend and I’m really looking forward to it!

Fortunately I’ve been busy at work and that makes me feel better. I hate having nothing to do because first, it’s boring, and second, I don’t want to be laid off. Finding a job in this economy would be a nightmare!

Tonight I plan to hang with Candice and Otra and the plan is to try making those water balls that are on youtube. Tonight we are going to play with SCIENCE! Because we’re giant dorks who know how to have real fun damn it! We just have to run to the store to pick up the ingredients. I’m excited! Maybe I should makes some Mint Bailey’s hot chocolate too! Oh joy!

This will be better than the time we stuck rice in the air popcorn popper to see if we could make Rice Krispies! Woo! Don’t you all wish you were me? Lol!

]]> ~WimpleToad http://WimpleToad.deviantart.com/journal/24529567/ http://WimpleToad.deviantart.com/journal/24529567/ Fri, 01 May 2009 11:54:14 PDT
My aunt and her husband have been nothing short of miraculously accident prone for the last couple years. It began with my uncle cutting off his fingers with a table saw. Gruesome, yes, but they were able to reattach most of them (he lost the tip of one digit) though they don’t work well anymore. Happily and horribly that trip to the doctor is where they discovered that he had cancer! He beat the 50-50 odds the doctors gave him and survived. But they had to make a hasty retreat to Oregon because they could no longer afford to live in California with the massive medical debt. Little did they realize much more was to come!

My uncle puts to rest his medical mishaps (or so we hope) with one final hurrah when a piece of wood flies off his lathe and hits him square in the face breaking his nose. But his wife, my aunt, is just getting starting.

My aunt takes up whittling and promptly plunges a knife completely through the fleshy part of her hand. Shortly there after she stabs her self in the hand again doing something else which I don’t recall. Cooking probably. The smaller incidents are all a blur folks. Then there was something about her falling off a ladder and hurting something. I think it was an ankle. The fun continues when their dogs attack a couple horses while they are out for a walk in the woods. Fortunately there was no permanent damage to anyone or any thing, but the horses needed medical care and that cost Ginger a pretty penny.

Then their daughter Danae got a major case of the flu which doesn’t sound too bad until you understand that it kept her in bed for over a week. She’s mentally handicapped and has cerebral palsy and muscular dystrophy. (Brief medical lesson: that means her muscles are slowly deteriorating from the MD and those muscles don’t move well due to the CP.) The extended lack of movement for that amount of time rocketed her muscle deterioration forward at a frightening rate. It took her weeks to relearn many motions and activities that she used to be able to handle with little difficulty.

The latest news from the family is that Ginger tore her ACL (the ligament in her knee) and is going to need surgery because she was jumping in one of those bounce houses. God knows that a giant, soft, squishy room is entirely too dangerous for my family to be in! Nothing short of a straight jacket and bed straps could contain the collective aberrant forces of bad luck that plague my kin! This latest injury will keep her bed ridden for a couple weeks though I highly doubt that is any reason to let her guard down.

It’s so over the top it’s practically comical! You know, when you start laughing at something that’s completely not funny because it’s so awful that your brain doesn’t even want to dip its toe in the pool of emotion it should actually be feeling so it just tries to fool you with that uncomfortable and inappropriate laugh?

I mean what the hell!? How many more injuries can one pocket of our family receive before streamers fall from the sky and some guys pops out of a trash can shakes their hand while passing them a gilded cast and says “Wow! You guys are beyond clumsy! Congratulations, you win our prize for being insanely accident prone and unlucky!!”

I’ve completely left off injuries and medical conditions that other family members have sustained and been diagnosed with in the last few years. It just so happens that my aunt and uncle are locked into an unbelievably ardent pursuit of personal injury and medical bills the likes of which has never been seen. So I felt it deserved it's own personal rant. I mean come on! What’s next?

]]> ~WimpleToad http://WimpleToad.deviantart.com/journal/24495261/ http://WimpleToad.deviantart.com/journal/24495261/ Wed, 29 Apr 2009 11:07:19 PDT
I have already started the challenge and I’m being my usual picky self and don’t want to use a couple good faces because I’m a picky bastard! But this is a great assignment for me because faces are currently my favorite thing to draw! I WILL DRAW! I hope to have all 25 expressions done by Sunday, but if I don’t I will post the progress of my work on my blog anyway! No progress posts for Dev! I’m back in business! RAH! EXCLAMATION POINT!

God I’m a dork! !

]]> ~WimpleToad http://WimpleToad.deviantart.com/journal/24479258/ http://WimpleToad.deviantart.com/journal/24479258/ Tue, 28 Apr 2009 12:04:29 PDT
I’m getting married. Now I am truly faced with the possibility of changing my name. I am torn.

When I was in high school I fervently denied that I would change my name. I would keep my name because I loved it and there was an incredibly small chance I would find a mate with a last name I liked better than mine. I stopped thinking about it and years later it popped back into my thoughts as things tend to do. In college I had the idea that I wouldn’t mind changing my name as long as I kept my maiden name for all things art related. I stopped thinking about it again and now I am getting married. Now I have to make a decision.

My first reaction was to fall back on the most recent decision I had made. Take his name, keep my maiden as a pseudonym for my art. I have the best of both worlds! Or do I? I love my name. I’ve always been fascinated with names and their meanings and how they sound together. Mine for example has a poetic flow to the syllables which goes 3, 2, 3. My last name is rare, though it was technically adopted several generations back so it’s not ours by blood, I still love it! I wouldn’t change my first name for anything! It’s perfect for me and it’s meaning, to captivate or to bind, fits me to a T! I love it so much that I kept my first name when I made my alias for my more risqué art. I only changed my last name. Why should I have any less affection for my last name? Besides, then I’d be juggling 3 names, Otras, mine and my risqué art alias. Three’s a bit much, though technically I’m not doing much with my alias.

There is nothing wrong with keeping my maiden name in this day and age. In fact it saves on an insane amount of paper work, fees and hassle that never used to exist. Women never used to own anything, they were just property themselves and that's why names were changed. Now I've got a job, a car, a student loan, a credit card, I'd have to change my drivers license, my social security card, my voter registration and the bills I have under my name! What a pain!

But part of me still feels like rejecting his name is rejecting him or his family. I know this is completely untrue and it’s just years and years of tradition that are making me feel that way. Besides, so far this union has been all about bucking tradition. *chuckle*

This whole thing really started to sink in on me this morning so I sent my boy an email asking for his opinion. I’ll chat with him and see what he thinks. We don’t want kids so we don’t have to worry about what name they would take.

How do I feel about this? I wouldn’t want him to change his last name to Caviness because his sounds better as Olver. Why should I change mine? I think and I ponder…

]]> ~WimpleToad http://WimpleToad.deviantart.com/journal/24375136/ http://WimpleToad.deviantart.com/journal/24375136/ Wed, 22 Apr 2009 10:35:36 PDT
Now for personal rambling:
I seriously need to start drawing again. I was doing so well this year until about a month ago and then I stopped when I got sick and never started again. I tried drawing some last night and I intend to again this evening. I want to get comfortable drawing Otra’s and my faces so I can be ready to do a wedding picture and the wedding cake. We’re doing one of those picture cakes. I hope to do another homage to Tank Girl drawing for it because her relationship with Booga is similar to mine with Otra. Only I’m not quite as selfish as Tank Girl, and Otra’s not a mutant kangaroo.

I’m stoked that I don’t have to work this Friday. Otra and I are headed up to Pacific Grove to visit his Dad and step Mom. It’s always a relaxing time with long walks, beautiful scenery, cribbage games, guitar music, and free admission to the aquarium. It will be my first time seeing them as Otra’s fiancé. I’ve only seen them three times before this and I still get really nervous around them. I’m a giant chicken and incredibly self conscious. It’s a good thing they are so laid back or I’d have a panic attack every time I thought about visiting! I know, I’m a dork.

]]> ~WimpleToad http://WimpleToad.deviantart.com/journal/24342619/ http://WimpleToad.deviantart.com/journal/24342619/ Mon, 20 Apr 2009 12:28:50 PDT *whew* It’s good to have that settled.

Now we just have to get a feel for where we should have the after party. If we get married at the court in San Diego we thought about going to a restaurant down there. I guess it depends on what type of party we want. Otra and I aren’t exactly the dancing type so we don’t need a dance floor or anything. I suppose we need to find something besides food to entertain folks. I’ll talk with Otra about it.

As far as wood for the ring goes, we ran into a rather interesting problem. Though ebony is an incredibly hard wood, that hardness seems to also make it brittle. Dad buzzed off a quick solid ebony ring just to see how it feels and as he was polishing it up, it snapped into four pieces in his hands. Part of it was that the grain wasn’t running the right way, but we have a feeling we may have to switch to African Blackwood which is slightly softer to solve the dilemma.

I can’t wait to see what he comes up with from the pieces we glued on Saturday! He didn’t get to work on them on Sunday like we’d hoped because there was a flood at his work place and he had to go in to help. It took him and his crew all day Sunday to get things working and I had to go home before he got back, which sucked. But hope to visit some between now and the wedding.

It just sucks because I’ll have to drive alone. Otra will be starting school this May and from May until mid August his classes are all weekend, every weekend and he can’t miss a class because they are each only four classes long. Weird set up huh? Life is going to suck until the wedding. We are making it August 22nd, which is his first “free” weekend after those types of classes end. It’s not really free when you throw a wedding on it, the poor thing. But that’s the best day for us to have it.

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For information about commissions, just drop me a note. ]]> ~WimpleToad