http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:WinterMoonSnow&section=today deviantART RSS for by:WinterMoonSnow en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Wed, 09 Dec 2009 13:40:46 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://WinterMoonSnow.deviantart.com/journal/24668384/ http://WinterMoonSnow.deviantart.com/journal/24668384/ Sat, 09 May 2009 12:10:32 PDT Well...everyone's always calling me cute and nice so...for sure, there's a woman out there waiting for me! >.< Yo~~~shi!

Grr...still getting over my damned cold. This is the longest time I've ever been sick in a while! I can't sing cuz my voice still sounds like crap Though my throat is no longer sore...and my nose is still running...

]]> ~WinterMoonSnow http://WinterMoonSnow.deviantart.com/journal/24642815/ http://WinterMoonSnow.deviantart.com/journal/24642815/ Thu, 07 May 2009 20:47:11 PDT sang it. He was surprised.

I also dreamt that I was on the phone with Alex because I'd finally made it to New York. Ahh...next month! *jumps up and down with excitement*

Last weekend was a blast! Saturday there was Roller Derby in Blossom Hill to support the SVRG (Silicon Valley Roller Girls) after which was the Sexie Party at Savoy. I met a few new people that night. They had it where you wore a glowing wristband. Yellow meant you were taken and green meant you were single. I danced with an older single woman for a while and we went outside to talk because it was pretty hot. She offered to buy me a drink but I'd already had a rum and coke and needed to be able to drive myself home without worry. We danced some more and then she had to go home to Santa Cruz. She invited me to her B-day party this month and I got her phone number. Strange how I always seem to go home with someone's number whenever I go to Savoy, but never when I go to Hunters, lol. But they're never anyone I'm interested in dating, just friends who I can hang with. Still, I'm happy that I'm meeting a lot of people.

Sunday was the book club meetup which was hosted at Ruth and Katrina's house. It doubled as a BBQ. I made a batch of 4 dozen cookies (strawberry and choco chip, choco chip, and carrot cake) which only amounted to 2 by the end of the night (which I gave to Akilah). Met a lot of cool people that night and also had some first time experiences. I finally got to have Grey goose and I drank a shot (of Grey goose + fruit juice) from between the
breasts of a woman named Griselda. Lisa was shocked when she discovered it was me that everyone was cheering at, because I was the last person she'd expect to have been partaking in such an action. "It sure didn't take long to corrupt you." she said. I told her that I've always been corrupted but it just took a while for that part of me to come out. A woman I met at the party invited us to her B-day this month which is S & M themed! I'm sooo looking forward to it! I just went to Hot Topic and bought a dress that I think will work for it (though it's not PVC or vinyl, it is pretty short though). I have a garter belt and thigh high stockings though I think if I get fishnets they'll be sexier. I've also got a choker with a chain that connects to a wrist cuff (which I've lost so I'm connecting it to my dress instead), and it has a bell, too! ^_^ I can't wait to wear this ensemble! When I save up a bit more I think I'll go to the local sex shop and buy a leather whip. Went to my first sex shop yesterday with my friend Aaron. The women there were very nice and helpful! ^_^

I've actually been sick these past 3 days. Still fighting it off! I'm sad I can't go to Hunters tonight. It would be no fun if I'm there sneezing all night...plus my voice is very hoarse and to even talk there you have to yell over the music and I need my voice to get better.

I was in Mitsuwa the other day wearing my rainbow triangle wristband and one of the employees asked if I was going to Great America. I told her no, and that I'd bought the wristband a while ago from Hot Topic. In two weeks Great America is having a Gay Day, which is what she was talking about. I'd love to go but I know
I just can't afford it. But it's okay because I have San Jose Pride to look forward to.

Gonna finish watching more Wedding Peach. Later!

]]> ~WinterMoonSnow http://WinterMoonSnow.deviantart.com/journal/24553101/ http://WinterMoonSnow.deviantart.com/journal/24553101/ Sat, 02 May 2009 18:20:56 PDT
I finally told Lisa how I feel yesterday. I called her up to apologize for leaving the bar early the night before. I thought she would be mad because I know how sensitive she is but she said she knew I had to get to work early the next day but she asked if something happened that made me upset. I told her I couldn't talk about it and she promised to keep my secret but didn't want to pry but was curious. I breathed a sigh. "You really wanna know the truth?" I asked.
"Yeah," she answered. "I wanna know the truth."
"I was jealous because you were spending a lot of time with that one girl..."
"Oh...! I don't know what to say...."
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make things awkward."
"Well, I met her once before so we were just dancing. It wasn't anything more than that."
"Oh, okay...."
"I don't know what to say..."
"I'm sorry. I just finally had to say something..."
"Well, thanks for being honest with me."
"You're welcome...!"
"I enjoy talking with you and spending time with you but I've never seen it as anything more."
"Ah. That's cool, I just thought you should know..."
"I'm flattered."
Then we talked about various things, mostly involving the group and upcoming or past events. In the middle she asked me what I saw in her and what type of women I prefer, lol. I let her know that I thought she was nice, that I thought it was awesome we both liked Shane, that we both can't dance, that I like talking with her...and that I like butches and femmes but tend to go for older women. She asked me why and I said it might be because I grew up without a Mother and want that maternal comfort. *shrug* I wasn't devastated or upset...I felt relieved and calm and happy that I got everything off my chest. I suppose it proves I was ready to tell her, and I couldn't have asked for a nicer rejection. I feel slightly like we're a little bit closer, too.

I've spent most of today composing a piano version of a song I wrote a few years back. It's meant to be a rock song but I want to write out piano versions of all my stuff so that once I reach the level to be able to perform, I can play on piano at coffee shops or whatever.

Kay, gotta get going. Roller dirby time (I'm watching, not playing).

]]> ~WinterMoonSnow http://WinterMoonSnow.deviantart.com/journal/24437981/ http://WinterMoonSnow.deviantart.com/journal/24437981/ Sun, 26 Apr 2009 01:30:56 PDT
Sharon (another VT fan I met at the Villa Montalvo concert) and I carpooled to Santa Cruz for the show. Upon our arrival we decided to get food and while waiting to cross the street I noticed Vienna with someone on the other side. Our intersections met at the sidewalk and I called to Vienna. Her hair was straightened, just as I was hoping because I'd seen a pic from a recent concert online and it looked like she'd had her hair straightened in it. We hugged and she introduced me to Ward, her new band-mate who plays violin and guitar. I introduced them to Sharon and we all went into this small restaurant for food. Vienna had noticed my Vienna Blue Caravan bag and said "I almost did something bad and was about to ask you "where did you get that?" lol. Ward got our seats. It was Ward, Vienna, Me, then Sharon from right to left. It was sooo great! It was so easy to talk to Vienna this time as opposed to others where I've been more on the star-struck side. It felt so natural today! Ahhh... I invited her to the Carnegie show. Amazingly when we'd all just about finished our food, Alex showed up. "Hey, I didn't know you were here!" he said upon seeing me. He came over to us, followed by Amber and another paper raincoat player. We moved to the other side which had more seating. Talked a bit with Alex, nervously. I told him I learned "rough cut" on piano and he asked if I'd told Amber. I caught glimpse out the window of Mr. and Mrs. Wong + Alex's auntie. They came in our general direction so all of us waved frantically hoping they'd eventually see us through the window. They did and joined us. I gave Mr. Wong the cookies and snapple as usual. He offered a cookie to the Auntie who asked where he got them and when he said they were from me Mrs. Wong said "She always takes care of him." *blush moment* Heh...I had given Sharon cookies too to thank her for driving and she said I'd make some guy happy. HAHAHHAH if only she knew... Vienna and Ward decided to head back and Mr. And Mrs. Wong and the Auntie (I think her name was Georgia) went across the street to a coffee shop I believe...I kinda wanted to hang with Amber but I got too nervous to say anything to her...so Sharon and I headed back to line up...I didn't want to worry about the seating though...didn't want to have to wait in that line...we saw someone through the back door (when we first ran into Vienna she had said we could go through the back where paper raincoat was having soundcheck) so I thought maybe she wouldn't mind if we wanted to go through the back so we could get good seats. We walked towards the back door and Vienna came back out to the tour van to get something and as we approached her this group of kids from Piedmont Hills started coming in the same direction. I heard one of them freaking out over the fact that they'd just seen Vienna right there. "There she is!" I heard her say. I carefully made my way to Vienna and asked her if it was okay if my friend and I entered through the back and she said she would ask for us. She went inside, the piedmont kids left to get in line, and then she returned and said it was okay. However, since Sharon didn't have her ticket already she had to go to will call to get it so I just saved her a seat in the front. Saved seats for the Wong family too. They ended up sitting elsewhere with some friends but Mr. Wong thanked me for saving them seats anyway. The show was awesome! And I got my chance to play an instrument! Michelle said she went on and on about it to them after what happened at the last show we were all at where she thought that tambourine was rightfully mine to play haha. Sure enough Alex asked for help from an audience member again and he eyed me while saying it! I was thinking "holy shit! He specifically wants me to go up there?" I walked up and so did another person, so we played the tambourine together and then I heard Alex say to me "Hold on a moment!" and he went to go grab another instrument for me. Some hand-held thing that had the same kinda shakers (?) a tambourine has. We had so much fun! The girl who came up to play with me was really cute and had short hair...I wondered to myself if she was a lesbian.... Anyway, when Vienna came on she was great! Did most songs from Inland Territory. She forgot the words while singing a part of "Recessional" from the 3rd album and it was so cute! ^__^ After the show I ran into Vienna's Mommy ^__^ and I frantically searched for Amber, asking the others if they'd seen where she went. Someone mentioned she might be upstairs...so after running into an Alex who was drinking red wine, and after having given Ward his share of cookies (which made him happy since he had some strange vegan ones earlier that did not satisfy him), I carefully ran up the stairs where I found the men's bathroom and a gr... ]]> ~WinterMoonSnow http://WinterMoonSnow.deviantart.com/journal/24318952/ http://WinterMoonSnow.deviantart.com/journal/24318952/ Sun, 19 Apr 2009 03:30:48 PDT
I drove to Milpitas for Karen and Leonna's party at calskate. I was the first there (even before the Birthday girls) and felt so out of place and alone. I started freaking out...and texted Akilah to see if she was coming-said she was about to get on 280. Eventually I saw Leonna, Karen, and Lisa, and felt more at ease. Discovered that Lisa and I are the same shoe size! At least when it comes to skates I guess...Well, we were both nervous about skating because she'd never skated before and I hadn't skated since I was little. It was very awkward but we got out there. After an hour and a half there some of us drove over to Savoy in Santa Clara. I had no idea I was going to be in for such a crazy time!

I spoke mostly with Lisa (duh)-there were a lot of people there we didn't know, Leonna's friends who showed up later. She divulged some secrets with me and I was really happy when she said "You know what I think is funny? That most of the people here are twice your age but aren't as mature as you are." I felt so fucking flattered! I'm glad to know she thinks I'm mature. I wasn't going to drink that night but I saw Karen get a Bob Marley and I finally had to try one. Good shit! It fucked me up though cuz i'm such a lightweight! I drank so much water after that and tried my hardest to sober up! I danced with Lisa, Akilah, some of our friends...and I got to know a LOT of new people! Met this girl named Monica and her friend Barbara who used to own Savoy, and their friend Pam. Monica said I was beautiful and then she and her friends were going on and on about how cute I was and my being a baby dyke and how I looked like one of their friends, but was hotter (so said Monica). I danced with Monica a bit and she mentioned that she doesn't get to dance with a younger hot chick very often. I felt hella flattered. Never been so accepted by so many people at once. It felt good! It was like everyone was flirting with me...I had on red lipstick and Monica commented on how my lips were still red and asked how I did that. This one woman touched my face trying to figure out if the hearts on my cheek were a tattoo but I swore it was eyeliner. And then...something amazingly crazy and freaky happened. Pam was starting to hit on me, a lot. She kept telling me how beautiful I was and how it sucked that she was older and how she wanted to kiss me so bad. She looked me right in the eyes...and grasped the sleeve of my hoodie in her left fist. She was so close to me, so close to kissing me...I almost wanted her to...but I'm crazy about Lisa and it woudln't have felt right. But this is everything I wanted, right? An older woman to notice me and not care too much that I was young and want to make out with me. Here was my chance...and I hella fraeked. I kept putting my head down and saying that I was shy and nervous and never had anyone talk to me like she did before...she started running her hand on my shoulders and arm. She said "I wish I knew how to make you feel better." She looked at me with such...passion. She ran her hand slowly up my right side, just beneath my breast...in all honesty, my body was going crazy in that moment. I closed my eyes for a second and when I opened them she was closer...right in my face...she could've kissed me. At that point I almost let her...but I stopped myself. I tried to ask her if I could get to know her better and for her phone number but she just looked at me. :/ We did end up dancing a bit after that...and then I decided I had to head home, since Akilah and Jennifer were going to be leaving and the bar was closing anyway. Making my way outside I awkwardly told her that I guess I'd see her around...she said "You know you're better off without me, right?" I wanted to be gentle and say that it's not necessarily true...cuz I like older women for some reason...I mustered out an "I dunno..." and hugged her not knowing what to do. She told me that I'd find someone really good for me, for sure, because I was so gorgeous. I felt her lips against my cheek and neck, kissing me thrice...perhaps more..it was a repetitive motion. She and some of the others talked about getting burgers once we got outside but I said I had to go home...she and Monica started pulling on me to go with them and it freaked the shit outta me! Especially cuz when this one woman agreed to go and Pam said she was in love with her, and then Monica said it was up to that woman's husband...and then we introduced ourselves to each other and he started talking about how pretty i was...it started to get really creepy. Especially since Pam was talking about going in my car and she walked over to the passenger side...Jennifer seemed to motion me to come over to her as she was in her car...I went to her and pleaded "help me por favor!" She asked if I wanted her to walk me to my car which was practically right in front of hers, lol...and then she tried to get me in it as fast as she could. Asking... ]]> ~WinterMoonSnow http://WinterMoonSnow.deviantart.com/journal/24284613/ http://WinterMoonSnow.deviantart.com/journal/24284613/ Fri, 17 Apr 2009 03:02:50 PDT
I spoke with Alex this morning over Aim. We talked about what we were up to and music theory and I told him I'm going to next weekend's concert. I'm so happy he said that he can't wait to see me. If there's anyone I'd go back to being straight for...it would be him, and only him.

I visited Christina and met her friend Jessie and we all hung out at the great mall till Jessie had work. Then I brought Christina over to my part of town to Valley Fair and Westgate mall. I decided I really needed something with a rainbow that I could wear to show my pride so I bought a wristband from Hot Topic that's black with a triangular rainbow. Good thing is they were having a buy one get the 2nd half off so I got a wristband with music notes (it's black, white, neon green, and neon pink).

I called Shane to ask if he knew whether or not he could come to the "coming out over coffee" meetup with the group tomorrow but he has to work. He was close to my place on his bike so I asked him to come over and told him I'd drive him to the fabric store and PetCo, where he said he needed to go. We went for food at Taco Bell afterward which made the decision that I'd totally drink tonight and that even though I had fast food it'd be okay because I'm exercising tomorrow and having a smoothie.

I went over to Hunters as usual, which is always good. I was stupid happy that Lisa asked if I was going tonight. We met up at our usual time. I decided to have a drink this time since I hadn't had one last time, so I got a Cosmopolitan, after Leonna told me it's sweet. We talked until Lisa got there. I'm really really happy because she and I were able to talk a lot tonight. I had been worried last week because conversation dried up so fast...but tonight was just perfect! Laughing with her really brightened me. Somehow we ended up talking about our ages...
"How old are you again?" she asked.
"22" I answered.
"What's 38 minus 22?"
"16"
"Gosh, what did I do with my life all these years? I was first driving when you were born. I'm old enough to be your Mother, lol"
"LOL, age doesn't bother me. Sometimes I feel so young..."
"It's not your being young that bothers me, it's that I'm old. Where did my life go?"
Convo went something like that. I can't even remember all we talked about....but somewhere in there we spoke of dancing because Karen had asked me to dance. She said it was really nice of her and I said how I was surprised because I wouldn't think people would ask me to dance but she said that she bet if I was there alone someone would probably ask me to dance. It made me really happy that she said that. Samare came to the club for the first time tonight and she asked me to dance. It was awesome! Gawd...I wanted to put my hands on her waist but I'm not sure what she's comfortable with so I just kept them to myself. Lisa asked me if I wanted to dance, too! What a lucky night for me! 3 women asked me to dance-not one, but 3! The part that's a bit nervous for me sometimes is looking someone in the eyes while dancing. There's something so intense about each person's eyes connecting that I can't explain. I'm glad that Lisa's feeling a lot better than she was last week. I finally did what I wanted and held the door for her when we were coming back into the club from the patio space outside. Go me! And...I think I can almost tell her how I feel. I'm not sure if it's too early to say anything...but I'm worried if I don't say something soon enough someone else will get her. *shrug* We stayed till closing, 2 AM...she said she parked on 4th street and I asked if she wanted a ride to her car but she said no, that she likes to walk. She told me she had a good time and thanked me for dancing with her...and needless to say, this made me sooooo happy! So...I'm in great spirits before going to bed! ^___^

I need sleep really badly now so I'm off!

]]> ~WinterMoonSnow http://WinterMoonSnow.deviantart.com/journal/24175399/ http://WinterMoonSnow.deviantart.com/journal/24175399/ Sat, 11 Apr 2009 01:53:23 PDT
Tomorrow I gotta do laundry, make my sis a baby shower gift (it's gonna be a baby blanket), then possibly drive to my Grandma's so I can spend easter sunday with her and the fam. I offered to make crepes! Yay looking forward to it! Trying to get Laura to come with me. Still waiting to get the final verdict.

K good night!

]]> ~WinterMoonSnow http://WinterMoonSnow.deviantart.com/journal/24130648/ http://WinterMoonSnow.deviantart.com/journal/24130648/ Wed, 08 Apr 2009 14:11:21 PDT
Oh, I got my mid-term from theory back the other day. I got a 35, which is a C! Yay, I passed at least HHAHA! In my dream I got a 66% which usually would be a D?

Today is Vivienne Westwood's B-day! Hervia's website is offereing free shipping on all items over 65 GBP in celebration.

I've been really into making smoothies ever since I rediscovered my blender, Tetsunoki (or however you spell what means "hurricane" in Japanese). In an attempt to try to eat healthy while consuming fast foods, I've decided to make smoothies every day/every other day. Sometimes I'd rather just drink fruit as opposed to eating it, especially if I'm in a hurry to get out of the house. Smoothies are actually kinda filling. My first smoothie was banana, milk, and peanut butter. My 2nd was banana, strawberries, milk, and vanilla extract. Today's smoothie was milk, banana, apple, and half an orange. It's actually quite good! I wanna start trying to blend vegetables together, or maybe even fruits and vegetables. I think it'll be easier for me to eat what I have to each day this way. Especially since I hate eating raw carrots! I figure if I can blend them into a juice it's a better alternative.

Stuck on learning a song for piano called "Grandfather's clock." I effing hate this song! It's so hard....the left hand moves around a lot. I almost have the right hand down...I tried to learn them separately and bring them together but it's tough, plus I have to use a pedal! OMG! I was supposed to know this thing 2 weeks ago...once I get it over with I'll be happy. I'm almost done figuring it out though so....I'm gonna hang in there.

Think I'll ride my bike to work today since I found a good parking space and don't wanna move my car! If it's not raining I'll ride...

]]> ~WinterMoonSnow http://WinterMoonSnow.deviantart.com/journal/24103555/ http://WinterMoonSnow.deviantart.com/journal/24103555/ Mon, 06 Apr 2009 22:46:08 PDT
Dream File:
I dreamt the other day that Laura was strongly against lesbians and that it hurt having her say all this stuff in front of me. It changed to another scene where I was in a room with some people listening to a rendition I've never heard for "Love is Everything" by Jane Siberry and singing along to it. I think I sung the entire song! O_o IT sux how I can remember songs from my dreams that are by others but when I come up with something really brilliant of my own I can't remember shit.

My brother is moving out soon! I feel bad, but I'm excited about it. Not super excited...it's just it's awkward running into him and not talking. We only every say "good morning," "hello" or "goodbye" or "I'm going to work now". Seriously. Now that he won't be around it won't be awkward for me anymore. Plus, I'll be able to workout with my exercise tape in the living room and if I'm lucky enough to ever bring a hot chick over we could totally make out without having to worry about getting caught (so long as it's before the time Dad gets off work). Yes, my mind's been somewhat in the gutter these days. Part of me wants to really see if anything could happen with Lisa and the other part wants me to just go out there and find someone my age and get some already.

K, I'm gonna go watch 24.

]]> ~WinterMoonSnow http://WinterMoonSnow.deviantart.com/journal/24041714/ http://WinterMoonSnow.deviantart.com/journal/24041714/ Fri, 03 Apr 2009 14:14:17 PDT
]]> ~WinterMoonSnow http://WinterMoonSnow.deviantart.com/journal/24034800/ http://WinterMoonSnow.deviantart.com/journal/24034800/ Fri, 03 Apr 2009 04:19:53 PDT Lisa showed up at ourmeet time and joined us. It was very awkward for me for some reason...I wasn't sure what to talk about...I'd look at her and laugh when the group would say something funny...I kept trying to keep with the convos though, from fetishes to school to traveling...eventually Karen and Marion went outside to have a smoke and Leonna went to get a drink so it left Lisa and I alone. It's so much easier to talk to her one-on-one. I found out she's no longer seeing who she was seeing, due to some incident. I expressed my sympathies but she said she wasn't sorry. I thought how great it is for me now,haha. She ended up asking me if I liked Karen and I said "Relationship-wise no, but I think she's a nice person." If only she knew...*sigh* I ended up meeting more people that night. Too many for me to remember all the names....Jemma, Veronica, Angie, Lory...okay maybe my brain's not as dead as I thought. Akilah came to the bar, too, and we all got to dancing. I was happy they played "if u seek amy" by Britney Spears and "closer" by Ne-yo. At some point it was announced that cosmos or
maybe it was Kamikaze...I'm still debating it...were $5, which lured Lisa into buying a lot of drinks. I knew she was drunk when we were all outside and she kept laughing every 5 seconds while smoking her cigarette and saying borderline-strange things. It scared me a bit. I don't really know how to handle being around drunk people...She, Akilah, and I went to Denny's to have some food cuz we were pretty much starving. Or at least I was, having not eaten for the past 5 hours and staying at Hunters until it closed (which was 2AM). We ordered and Lisa wasn't seen for the rest of the morning because she was in the bathroom. She wasn't even able to come out to eat her food. I was so worried. I really hate when people I know get so plastered that they spend all their time in the bathroom...I learned a lot about Akilah. We both agree on age differences not being a really big deal. We checked up on Lisa and she still wasn't quite doing so well yet so we went to wait outside near the front of the restaurant. Akilah suggested that she should probably take me back to my car so I could get home but I told her, "No, it's fine. I've got all the time in the world."
"But you've finished eating," she replied. "And you probably want to go to sleep. There's not really any reason for you to have to sit around."
"But I'd feel bad. I wanna make sure Lisa's okay."
"That's sweet."
If there ever was a time my feelings were obvious, probably that moment right thar. I was really really worried how on earth she was going to get home in that condition. We all drove ourselves
there so....*shrug* I honestly didn't think she'd be able to sober up in time to drive herself back to Mountain View. Eventually Akilah did drive me back to my car and I told her to make sure
Lisa got home safe. I was really dissapointed. When people drink and get so plastered I feel like they're being so irresponsible. It's such a huge fucking turn off... but I'm gonna call her in the
morning to make sure she's okay.

]]> ~WinterMoonSnow http://WinterMoonSnow.deviantart.com/journal/24029744/ http://WinterMoonSnow.deviantart.com/journal/24029744/ Thu, 02 Apr 2009 19:04:05 PDT
Hung out with Lonny last night, as usual. We went over to the Cheesecake factory before watching United States of Tara. We were both sad to discover that the night's episode was the season finale so now we're trying to figure out what we can watch in place of it until it returns.

I spent today hanging out with my high school friend Christina. I drove over to her house and helped her figure out a program for the computer called MyVoice, in which you can dampen/remove vocals from CD tracks or mp3s. I have this program myself but I lost the CD so she let me borrow hers. While we were there I played with her niece Vicky. She doesn't remember me of course because the last time I saw her was about 2 years ago when she was just a baby and now she's 2-going-on-3. She's so cute! I keep saying I no longer want to have a kid because I don't want to deal with childbirth and I don't want to be responsible for someone else's life, but when I actually get to interacting with little kids I remember just how much I love them, and that maybe it wouldn't be so bad. I don't mind playing with other peoples kids and I don't think I'd mind too much now dating someone who has a kid, but I still don't think I'd actually have one myself.

Tonight I'm heading back to Hunters to chill with Lisa and probably a few of the others from the group. Sunday I'll be going to my first meet-up for Artemis, a lesbian volunteer group. Leonna's one of the organizers. We're going to be picking fruit from the backyards of those who can't pick it themselves and donating them to hunger organizations. So far it seems Marion will be the only person I know there, but I'm sure I'll be able to make friends easily.

As I told Grandma the other day, I feel like I'm actually living my life now. ^__^ I'm so happy to be involved in so much! *hugs life* Grandma said that my Uncle is back at home from the hospital and doing better and his wife's friends are helping her take care of him.

Well, that's it for now. I'm gonna go finish my laundry and getting fixed up for the club, whose playing of "Just Dance" has made me think that maybe Lady Ga Ga isn't as bad as I'm convinced she is.

]]> ~WinterMoonSnow http://WinterMoonSnow.deviantart.com/journal/23922091/ http://WinterMoonSnow.deviantart.com/journal/23922091/ Fri, 27 Mar 2009 18:20:28 PDT "What are you doing here all alone?" she asked.
"I'm waiting for Lisa," I said. She told me to come and join her. I got up and followed her to Leonna and they introduced me to another girl whose name I think was Lisa. O_o So I greeted Leonna and she hugged me and I explained to her and Mariane that I noticed them but was too shy to say hi. Mariane said I should never be shy around them. I watched her dance in front of Leonna.
"I'm about to do something Shameless" she admitted. She pulled some money out and held it in her mouth. Leonna knelt down and took it from Mariane's mouth with her own. It was hott! I wish I had guts to do something that exciting! I looked outside and noticed Lisa had finally arrived. I saw her walk in and told Mariane I was going to go and get her. I shyly made my way to her and she apologized for being late. We got some drinks and got to talking. I was excited to finally get to know about her! We sat down at a nearby table surrounded in black cube chairs. We sat across from each other and talked about our families and what we'd been up to. The music was loud and sometimes I couldn't quite understand her so I moved next to her to listen more clearly. I didn't realize how cute she really was until that moment where I was so close. We got into the subject of hobbies and she mentioned walking, followed by how she recently started seeing someone and asked if that could be considered a hobby. I smiled as my heart sank and said that I would consider it a hobby. I felt so stupid! I had gotten all excited and nervous and dressed up only to find out she's already seeing someone.... I wasn't going to let it ruin my night though. We eventually got to a corner and just people-watched because moving through the crowd was getting real difficult. We talked about where we grew up and whatnot. She lives in Mountain View. She asked if I'd ever been to Savvoy, a women's club in Santa Clara. I said no and she sounded shocked.
"You've been here all this time and never been to Savvoy?"
"Well..." I said, "I only recently started to come out. I've done a lot of self-discovering and self-analyzation and thinking and realized I might be lesbian or bi so I'm finally starting to act upon it."
"That would explain it. How old are you?"
"22." (I still feel weird saying that)
"How old are you?"
"I'm 38."
"Really?! You sure don't look it!!"
"Bless you, you sure are nice to your elders!"
"I thought at most you were in your late 20s/early 30s..."
"Bless you! It's always nice to get compliments from the youth. Thanks!" I felt so....I dunno. Awkward? I mean here I am...this baby Dyke (for lack of a better term) who's new to the scene and I'm trying to pick up an older woman....who's much older than I imagined she was...O_o she really is cute though...*sigh* And she has this high-pitched voice (but not Japanese Anime schoolgirl high-pitched)... ]]> ~WinterMoonSnow http://WinterMoonSnow.deviantart.com/journal/23823435/ http://WinterMoonSnow.deviantart.com/journal/23823435/ Sat, 21 Mar 2009 23:32:14 PDT
Lonny came to visit me at work today! ^__^ I was shocked even though I should've known to expect it since he said he'd visit me on some weekend. I introduced him to Shane and Rose. He had brought me a cookie too, from Starbucks! An oatmeal raisin cookie. Hella shitload of oats! But it's one of them soft cookies which I love so much. I think I was more shocked about the fact that he brought me a cookie as opposed to the fact that he came to visit because I bought cookies for him yesterday (which he'll be receiving when I come over to watch Tara and whatnot) since he made some tweet about wanting a green cookie. Shane told him that I talk about him all the time. >.> Then Lonny told Shane that I mention him a lot, too, hahhaha. Laura came in like...10-15 minutes after he'd gone. She was wearing the vest that I love to see her wearing, AND her hair was down... The part of me that wants to get to know Lisa felt betrayed. Sometimes I feel like my mind is a playboy for being attracted to more than one person at once, though on different levels. Sure, I'm not in a relationship so I don't actually fit that type of category..but it still bothers me to some extent.

So today was a day of all smiles!

Tomorrow's the pancake mixer and my 2nd LGBT meetup. Yay! I'm so excited! Amy and Karen will be there.

]]> ~WinterMoonSnow http://WinterMoonSnow.deviantart.com/journal/23734659/ http://WinterMoonSnow.deviantart.com/journal/23734659/ Mon, 16 Mar 2009 17:54:29 PDT I was at Kevin Rice's performance on the Jimmy Fallon show. He wore the same red shirt just as I'd seen on TV a few nights ago. I excitedly exclaimed to the guy next to me how happy I was to see him up on stage since it'd been a while and I missed him. He said something about him being a popular gay drummer, which oddly made and didn't make sense. It felt like I had suspicions that he could be gay but in real life I know that he has a girlfriend because he talked about her. I heard someone calling Alex Wong to the stage. I turned to look in the direction the voice called to and found Alex sitting with his back faced toward a piano. "Alex..." I softly called. He was slightly slumped forward with eyes that were red as though he had been crying. Instead of saying "someone's calling you on the stage" I walked towards him and asked "Are you okay?" He looked up at me. "I don't know...!" I moved closer and hugged him tightly.

I hope in real life I never have to see my hero look like that. It's heartbreaking.

L3 book club meetup:
Last night was my first meet-up with the L3 (Luscious Literary Lesbians). I wore my lavender shirt with the silver sequined collar and cuffs, along with my navy blue pinstripe blazer and some tight-fitted jeans. You could say I had somewhat of a Bette Porter look goin' on. Put on my favorite perfume called Bellelux. My brother bought this for me when he went to France with his high school English class (like...5 years ago). It remains my favorite souvenir. The meetup was at a coffee shop in downtown San Jose. I got confused about the street it was supposed to be on and turned off and parked behind some restaurant. I walked down the street I realized it was probably supposed to be on. I went inside a used book shop to ask the woman working there if she knew where it was but she didn't. I continued walking and saw a rainbow flag waving in the wind, which belonged to an LGBT community center (which upon getting closer I saw was next to the coffee shop). I saw a group of women together and knew it had be the meetup group. As I got closer I recognized the faces of Lisa, Karen, and Leonna. I was a bit nervous even though I'd met them all at the L word Finale at Hunters. There were a few people who I didn't know
but I couldn't get myself to introduce myself and ask their names and start talking, not till later anyway. I mostly wanted to talk to Lisa but I was really shy about getting conversation going.
I'm not really good with groups if I'm meeting a lot of people for the first time. Leonna informed me that the coffee shop didn't reserve the spots she'd asked for and it was full of people so we had to move our meetup elsewhere. We went across the street to this small Mexican restaurant. Out of the 25 people that RSVP'd to
the event, 15 people were present, which Leonna was happy for because it would've been crazy trying to fit more people in. We discussed how we felt about reading Stone-butch Blues and asked each other questions. I Didn't speak much though because I wasn't
sure how to answer things and I was a bit shy since it was my first meet-up. I met at least 2 others who were first-timers as well. A lot of people said they had to put the book down because it was heavy and intense. One person, Akilah, mentioned putting it in the freezer. "Don't you guys watch Friends?" she asked. She explained how "Joey was reading a Stephen King novel, The Shining, and it was too scary for him so he stuck it in the freezer." She said she didn't eat any frozen food that week, lol. The meet-up only lasted about an hour. Gerry, the girl who sat next to me suggested our next book be Rubyfruit Jungle. Everyone gathered their things and got up to leave and I lingered behind a bit to talk with Lisa. I wanted to hold the door for her as we left the place but I got shy and chickened out. This is mostly because the group had a discussion about doing such things and how some people they'd tried to do it for found it offensive and had an "I can do it myself" type of attitude about it, while others thought of it as a kind gesture. Supposedly the trick is to do it spontaneously, at least this is what Samare suggests. I didn't want things to be awkward so I just didn't do it, but sometime I'd like to. It was freezing when we got outside! I got embarrassed because I was shaking so much when we got across the street-I was trying real hard to keep my legs from wiggling, but she didn't seem to notice. Lisa was saying how she kept quiet most of the time and has a lot to say when she's one-on-one with a person but it's not so easy when she's in groups. I told her I was nervous 'cuz it was my first meet-up, but I tried to talk. She thank... ]]> ~WinterMoonSnow http://WinterMoonSnow.deviantart.com/journal/23616133/ http://WinterMoonSnow.deviantart.com/journal/23616133/ Mon, 09 Mar 2009 19:02:29 PDT HRC hosted a gathering at Hunter's nightclub, a gay bar located in downtown San Jose. It's a small place, but still nice. The TVs were set-up quite nicely and the bartender was very friendly. I ordered up a midori sour first thing and she was going to take the glass away since she noticed I'd finished but I told her I had to get the cherry first, so I picked it out and then she gave me a glass with 6 cherries in it! ^__^ They were so yummy! As soon as they go back in season I have to go out and buy cherries! Anyway...I had gotten to the club 2 and a half hours early, to ensure a good spot. I was doing my homework from Fundamentals until two women who were also going to the event showed up and we started talking. They went to the premiere party that was held there. Eventually more people showed up and this guy brought out chairs for us to sit on. Turnout was actually pretty small-I was shocked! I'd say at most there were maybe...30-35 people? I heard there were way more at the premiere. I know when I went to the one in San Francisco...it was crazy! I had a really great time! I met Lonny's beautiful friend, Yin, who told us about this book of short stories about lesbian vampires, where instead of drinking blood this vampire drinks cum. It's called Daughters of Darkness, and I'm gonna get it when I'm able to earn it. One girl at the club actually works as a go-go dancer there on Thursdays and was telling me about this website for meet-ups that I could join! I asked her how the crowd is on Thursdays (lady's night) for the club, since I'd read reviews that said even on lady's nights there's still a lot of men, but she told me there's a good amount of women there. Then she told me about a club in Santa Clara that's an all womens club called Savoy. I might check it out sometime, but I'd hate to go alone, so maybe I'll drag Lisa with me one of these days. Or hopefully the group will have a meet-up there. I joined the site the dancer told me about, but I'm waiting for my profile to be approved. I'm so excited! I'm really trying to build up my social network. One thing really pissed me off about that evening though. While I was waiting outside for the club to open, one of the people who used to go to my college ran into me. She was volunteering as help for that whole Cinequest thing. She asked me what the recent photos on my myspace were about and I told her how I was against prop 8 and went to the rally in San Francisco on the day of the court hearing. She said "We're on different pages. We gotta convert you. God made marriage between a man and a woman, NOT Adam and Steve!" I smiled at her pretending not to care, then stared down at my homework and tried to finish it. I couldn't believe she said that to me! I respect that she has her own opinion, but it's not right for her to say that I need to be converted. I'm not trying to fucking convert her. It's all fucked up! I don't even feel like being myspace friends with her anymore. Like someone at the rally said, "God didn't create marriage! Adam and Eve weren't even married! That word was created by man!"

Recently I'm interested in listening to the Fray so I downloaded a torrent of their latest album, The Fray. I got hooked on the song "you found me" so I decided to check 'em out. What I hate is...it got to 99.6% of the torrent and it's not finishing up with downloading. I fucking hate that shit. Fuck you, bit torrent, fuck you! Maybe I should say fuck you seeders...this makes no sense. -__-

After years and years, I've finally started watching Cool Devices. It's not as great as I was hoping it would be. They use a lot of...freeze-frame scenes? I think that's the right term...and I hate how some of the episodes just jump right into sex scenes with no story or anything whatsoever. I know, they say that people watch hentai for the sex, not the stories...but I like stories, dammit!

The other day whilst doing a bank deposit for work...I hit someone's parked car while I was trying to park...and this lady who was parking next to me saw and said I should tell someone in the bank cuz it was a pretty big scratch. I hella fucking freaked out! I don't have insurance...>.< and ....I really didn't know what to do...I nervously did my business, left the bank, and got into my car...I tried to call my Dad but he didn't answer. The lady who saw me hit the car was getting into her car same time I was and I stayed sitting on the phone for a while until she left, just so she thought that I was handling things. When I was sure she had driven far enough to no longer see me, I drove away...a different way than I normally would..and went back to work. I felt so guilty the entire time...it took a whil... ]]> ~WinterMoonSnow http://WinterMoonSnow.deviantart.com/journal/23565582/ http://WinterMoonSnow.deviantart.com/journal/23565582/ Fri, 06 Mar 2009 22:14:53 PST
Wednesday night was the candlelight vigil at Stevens Creek and Winchester Boulevards, which started at 6:00pm. I parked a few blocks away, where I usually park when I go to Lonny's cuz I didn't really know if I'd find anywhere closer. I got there about half an hour early but didn't see anyone. I thought it would've attracted mobs of people...but oh well. I was going to head to Best Buy since it's at the corner and ask if anyone in there knew if that was where they were meeting for sure...and I saw a group of people with someone carrying a rainbow flag. I knew they had to be going so I hurried to catch up to them. I regretted leaving my handmade rainbow flag in the car...to be honest, I was a tad bit scared to carry it around. Anyway...the group I found was kinda lost too...we circled around back to the intersection of Winchester and Stevens Creek and saw people across the street with candles and a huge sign supporting gay marriage so we knew that we had been in the right place the first time. We joined the others and as night fell more people showed up and we all carried candles or signs that said "I do support the freedom to marry." Lots of people driving by honked at us in support. I met lots of nice people that night. Towards the last half hour four others and I walked around the cross-walk intersections with a huge sign, along with others with huge signs. Most of us dispersed around 8:30pm. A few stayed behind still standing with their huge signs and some evil person drove by and yelled "Fuck you, faggots!" It made me so angry! I've never witnessed this stuff first-hand before. I usually see it on TV. It's terrible. I noticed there was half an hour before the fabric store closed so I swung by to talk with my co-workers for a bit. I told them about the vigil and I don't remember what Laura R said but it lead us into talking about those who are bi...and Laura E (the one I like...) said "I don't believe anyone can be bi."
"Really...?!" I questioned in shock. "
"No," she said. "I think they're just horny people who want to have sex with everyone."
"Oh..." Her saying that really hurt me...I thought to myself "Well, if I were to tell you that I was bi, is that what you would think of me? That I just want to have sex with everybody...?" I was so frustrated! I mean...honestly, I don't want to have to label myself because I don't know really where I fit in or what to call myself...I'm still figuring things out. I mean I've liked a lot of dudes in the past, but right now I'm pretty much exclusively attracted to women...I'd call myself lesbian since I'm exclusively attracted to women...but since I liked guys in the past, and can still sometimes appreciate a good looking guy, I think maybe I should call myself bi *shrug* And 'cuz straight porn still turns me on as much as lesbian porn does, though now-a-days I like to watch more of the latter. Having been in my position...I'm sure people are capable of falling in love with both sexes. You like people for who they are, not simply because one is a man or one is a woman, at least that's how I feel about it. I know everyone's entitled to their own opinion...but hearing that kind of shit from someone you like is pretty devastating...I can't get it out of my head. *sigh*

Thursday was the rally in Frisco in front of the court on McAllister! I was really upset because the person that Tara had arranged for me to room with NEVER fucking contacted me! I left him voicemail, called him at least 3 different times...sent an e-mail..a.nd I never heard anything for 2 days. How fucking inconsiderate, especially cuz the event was fast approaching! But my answers were prayered (as I so silly-ishly told Alyssa on the ride to Frisco, LOL omg...) but you know what I really mean is "my prayers were answered" when someone named Lizzie messaged me on facebook and offered to give me a ride with her and her friends. I was so happy and excited! I drove to her house Thursday morning (Los Altos) and got acquainted with her and her friends. Her awesome mother offered us breakfast and then we were on our way! I woke up at 4 that morning, left my house at 5, got to hers around 5:30 ( stopped for gas on the way), then we all left in her blue car (yay!) at 6:30. We got to Frisco around 7:30 and luckily found parking RIGHT ON MCALLISTER! She had to go to the parking meter every hour but it was the best spot ever. We joined others at the steps of the courthouse, holding up our signs and chanting various phrases:
"We pay our bills, we pay our taxes-all we want is marriage access"
"Gay, straight, black, white, marriage is a civil right"
"2,4,6,8, how do you know your kids are straight?"
"What do we want? Equal rights! When do we want it? Now!"
"Hey, hey! Ho, ho! All your biggotry has got to go!"
It was so intense and crazy! And sometimes when there were only a few of us stand... ]]> ~WinterMoonSnow http://WinterMoonSnow.deviantart.com/journal/23412975/ http://WinterMoonSnow.deviantart.com/journal/23412975/ Thu, 26 Feb 2009 09:16:55 PST
I just found out there's going to be a vigil the night before the event in the Stevens Creek BLVD/Winchester area....but it's on a Wednesday, night when I normally work....and I'm not sure I could finish my homework in time to afford to try to switch my schedule with someone to go, though it's really important to me. I know, I can't do everything...so if I can at least go to the Frisco thing I'll be happy.

Uh wow...do I have luck or what? My voice teacher moved my lesson again from this Morning to tomorrow evening! Which means I have more time to practice my songs! I've been such a slacker...and I can't believe how much luck I'm getting. I think I really on it too much. I'm always thinking I'll have more time than I initially do and sometimes it actually works out that way.

All right! Since my car is working I think I'll head over to Good Will and try to find a wedding dress

]]> ~WinterMoonSnow http://WinterMoonSnow.deviantart.com/journal/23391558/ http://WinterMoonSnow.deviantart.com/journal/23391558/ Tue, 24 Feb 2009 23:52:03 PST Fucking amazing! She's evolved and grown so much as a musical artist, and I can hear/feel Alex's influence in this album. The tracks are more upbeat than the ones of her previous albums and have various instruments, which makes me happy. I can't wait to see her in April! XD

I was walking home from Laura's yesterday and passed by a house that I normally pass. I observed the many bumper stickers on the back of the van parked there-obama/biden and some other stuff. Then my eye caught sight of a yellow equal sign with blue back- ground and I smiled to myself. It was the HRC (Human Rights Campaign) logo. I'd been wondering ever since I got mine whether or not I'd see another vehicle with one tattooed to it. It made me very hopeful that many others out there somewhere have this sticker and support equal rights for the LGBT community.

Still didn't finish my 2nd 'round of Theory homework, which means tomorrow's going to suck 'cuz my teacher is going to call on students and make us write things on the board...I totally don't understand this shit. It's fucking worse than math, and I never thought anything could be worse than math. SERIOUSLY! Matt seems to have somewhat of a good understanding though...so I'll most likely end up bugging him for help in the future. I had too much going on this week to try and get help from him before tomorrow though. Monday I had school then met up with Alex to be a model for his school project. Today I tried to do the homework before going to school...where I had applied music and then choir.

There were some good performances during applied today-particularly Peter's. I don't remember the name of the song but I was really impressed. I couldn't stop smiling. It reminded me of being at a Vienna Teng concert, the intensity that comes forth while watching her create music in the moment. James talked today about "living in the music." You have to respect the stage and you have to own your music, or else it'll own you.

Been eating lots of fruits and veggies and trying to exercise. Feels kinda good! I can't believe I claimed not to like this stuff...I had the sweetest strawberry EVER yesterday! It was a HUGE one too! XD <3 Raspberries taste yummy, just not as a drink from Starbucks. *shutters* Worst decision ever last year! And salad's all right. I try to add the raspberries to it, along with cashews...but I'm staying away from cashews for a while as they've done really weird things to my stool. O_o Which you probably didn't care to know but EH! Apples are COOL! I was going to have some brown rice today..but I fucking burnt that shit in the microwave XD which is why I'm going to try to boil it on the stove next time. I think I might start buying fish from Mitsuwa every week.

*yawn* I'm physically and somewhat mentally tired. Gonna go and maybe jot down some lyrics ideas and go to bed. Aaaaaagh tomorrow's going to suck! I hate how I didn't do my work like I told myself to. Truth is, I've always had trouble following through with things...specifically when they're quite difficult...it's a very bad habit that I wish to overcome. At this rate, it's going to be a while....

]]> ~WinterMoonSnow http://WinterMoonSnow.deviantart.com/journal/23354653/ http://WinterMoonSnow.deviantart.com/journal/23354653/ Mon, 23 Feb 2009 00:02:16 PST a lesbian, followed by her asking me if I was a lesbian. Shane winked at me and I answered, "No." I really have no idea what he's trying to do, but it's ticking me off a bit. I feel like he's trying to out me or something...

I told myself I wasn't going to invest too much in emotion for anyone, yet I can't seem to help myself. I feel just like Papi when she was into Kit. I'm always going to work when I'm off shift or on days I don't work so I can talk with Laura, and I help her count out the cash for the register (this is partly why my theory homework goes unfinished...), I'm always offering to drive her
home from work, If she needs medicine (like advil or tylenol) I drive home to get mine to give to her-AND I bring a cup of water with it...I'm so fucking whipped! *headdesk* (x3) What's even worse is I'm getting increasingly jealous when it comes to Shane. I forgot who we were all talking about but Laura said the person wasn't her type because he didn't have green eyes (which Shane has), and I got insanely jealous. Sometimes he does this thing
where he randomly talks in a very deep, low voice (different from his normal speech) and Laura'll say how sexy it is. One time I actually said out loud, "No, it's NOT!" and tried to cover it up by saying that Hyde's voice from L'arc~en~Ciel is way sexier. *sigh* Usually, I'm really good at keeping thoughts to myself-I still can't fathom how that time was different. That was my Kaori side coming out. Why can't I leave this alone? Even though I know she's straight, has a boyfriend (who she's not even in love with...), is 4 years younger than me (I tend to forget from time to time, since we're both in college and I keep thinking she's older. She's the first young chick I've ever been infatuated with)...I can't get myself to get over.

Theory homework, I reiterate, sucks! I tried, I really did. The teacher gave us 20 pages...and I've completed maybe 8 and it's due Wednesday, and I really REALLY don't understand this at all! How I fear the red crayon marks James is always telling us about when it comes to grading papers. I told myself I was going to stay up all
night last night to complete the homework but once midnight hit I was really tired and fell asleep, with gum in my mouth I might add, which I realized upon waking at 4 AM. it's a wonder I didn't choke! Just like that time I fell asleep with a cough drop in my mouth. I tried to do more of the work today but I got really agrivated over not being able to understand it and probably having done things wrong most of the way. I figure that if I don't undrestand it, I can't complete it, not correctly anwyay, and there's no point. Or it's an excuse. I decided maybe I can get help from someone at school tomororw and try to finish the damned stuff. Gawd I have so much going on this week...I'm s'posed to hang otuw ith sherry on Thursday but I dunno if I'm even up to it anymore...

I went grocery shoppin this morning. I'm trying to eat healthier so I just boughta shitload of fruits and veggies. I don't really know how to equate how much of what things I should take in based on that goddamned pyramid...since it just says such to such servings and I don't know how much 3-4 servings of a particular
fruit is....ist hat 1 apple? 2 apples? I dunno...so anyway, I ended up buying raspberries, which I was unsure of...but I saw a thing on TV the other morning about how it's better for you than some other thing...I think they said it's better than grapes...I don't remember, but I bought them. Bought strawberries, 2 bananas,
cashews to put in the salad pacs I bought (2), portabello mushroom sausage (just cuz Liz and I sampled some today and it was yum)...I met up with Liz at the fabric store prior to going grocery shopping and we both bought stuff. Is there anything else I bought...? I think that was it. Next time I might get blueberries. I wanted oranges...oh yeah, I bought apples! I tried putting the raspberries and cashews in the salad, and it actually tastes good! I'm really trying to discover what I like. Oh! I bought brown rice, too, cuz it's healthier than whit rice. I absolutely hate the way it fucking feels against my teeth though! But all for the sake of good health! I want to start exercising too, since I drive all the time and never walk anymore...I've gained a bit. I wanted to scramble some egg to put in my salad but my brother told me not to make anything since my Dad would be there soon. My sister arranged for all of us to go out to c... ]]> ~WinterMoonSnow http://WinterMoonSnow.deviantart.com/journal/23263118/ http://WinterMoonSnow.deviantart.com/journal/23263118/ Tue, 17 Feb 2009 22:52:01 PST cuz I'd have to have a lot more responsibility, and because I'm going to school, I'm not sure I'm up to it. However, I'd get paid more and it would look really well when I go job-hunting in the future. I'm going to have to hella step up my game though...and know my shit at work...I won't really be able to go to my boss anymore for answers, I'm gonna have to know 'em myself. I keep hoping if I'm higher up, the further away I can be from staying on the floor. Bosses are lucky cuz they usually just get to sit back somewhere...not that they're not working, cuz they are...but nobody has to see them for hours on end. Least that's how it feels sometimes.

Drove from work to school for hours of singing. I had a good 15 minutes to practice my song with Chizuko, my designated accompanist. Just as we were heading into the classroom we ran into the teacher, James, and I started freaking out. Wasn't sure I was really prepared. We took our seats and I could feel the nervousness flowing through me. Fate just so had it that I got to perform first. When I was telling Chizuko how I didn't want to be first, I should've knocked on wood. The first person that was going to go-her accompanist wasn't there...or she wasn't really prepared, the person that was going to go after her didn't want to go because she wanted to be 2nd and NOT first...so I ended up going. James said he was looking forward to hearing me and I got even more nervous because I wanted to be impressive. It was bad enough I didn't really research Franz Schubert (composer of my song) as I told him I was going to. -__- Performing this time wasn't so bad though. I wasn't as nervous as usual...my legs weren't shaking and I think I projected better than usual. I received really constructive and great feedback. James even said that my performance was enjoyable. He'll be disappointed tomorrow that I didn't finish my homeowork...*sigh* I'm not good with following through with anything...but I want to finally change that. >.< Jessie complains that he's (James) too into what he's doing, which annoyed me, because I'm glad that we finally have a teacher for the performance class who's positive, informative, and really KNOWS what he's talking about. And sure, he might say "Do you know what I mean?" every 5 minutes, but, everyone's got something they say all the time. *shrug* But then again, I'm always defensive when it comes to people that I think are motivating and influental.

After choir I was soooo tired! Actually, my eyes have been hurting since getting to school. Right now is my first time being back at home since leaving this morning. When I got to my car I turned up the heat and the defroster, still the back window would not fucking clear up! And I really coudlnt' wait there for 10 minutes or whatever for it to do so...so I got my squeejie (sp) and wiped off the water, but it didnt' really help -_- I just rolled down the side windows and drove home, and luckily, I mostly had to only look over to the left for left lane changes.

The other day I dreamt that I was in a room with some people and Vienna Teng. This boy was playing her piano while me and some other girl starting singing supposedly one of her songs..almost as though we were performing for her.

More reasons why it's better off that I'm not attending Fanime:
My finals are the week AFTER it takes place. WTF! Plus all the goddamend choir perfomrance I'll be having. I believe one of them is on the day for picking up pre-reg badges. I like the new layout for the site. Finally some DECENT artwork!

]]> ~WinterMoonSnow http://WinterMoonSnow.deviantart.com/journal/23237428/ http://WinterMoonSnow.deviantart.com/journal/23237428/ Mon, 16 Feb 2009 14:47:49 PST
Tomorrow I have to sing for my applied music class...the one i'm taking the voice lessons for...not looking forward to it, but I volunteered just so I can start getting my 3-4 performances for the semester out of the fucking way. The song's in German...and of course it's high, since i'm a soprano...why the fuck was I born a soprano...? WHY? All the songs I get are way too challenging....my teacher claims I'm just holding back...but I'm trying, I really am trying to sing those high notes and I just can't get them...I hate having to perform in class even though I love singing...I always feel like I sound terrible and stupid...I feel like the voice lessons aren't getting me anywhere. I can't see where/if I've improved..I'm always in a bad mood when I leave lessons. The notes they make me sing in choir are even worse....my voice is always strained and my throat hurts at the end...

If I can't sing properly...how the fuck am I supposed to become a musician? If I can't get through all this fucking fundamentals of theory...how can i take actual theory and become a good, well-rounded musician....? How can I write music properly?....and if I can't become more confident how the fuck am I supposed to feel good about myself and like I can follow my dream? I can't wait till fucking New York...when I can have...a semi-vacation...I really hope the first day that I can be able to hang out with Alex for the day...maybe see his studio or something...I need anything that will inspire me, right now.

I couldn't wait to get over to Lonny's last night, so I could forget all this stupid homework that's been depressing me and just fucking relax. Aaagh I spilled so much guacamole on my jeans! I seriously hope it washes out...>.< I'm so glad he offered me a beer. I was dying to have alcohol. The past few days I've had so much sugar...haven't been eating right...I've noticed some of my old pants are slightly tighter on my waist...I need to fucking exercise and be fit. I'm so not going down a good path right now. All the god damned fast food...I did go to Mitsuwa a lot this week for the bento boxes...I've tried pretty much all of them....the boiled mackeral (probably my favorite), the salmon, the hamburger (the worst one...)....and the chicken kurage (probably my other faborite).

Kay, I gotta go and try to finish my Goddamned homework and go over some songs for voice class....

I spent the last 4 days downloading the movie Flashdance since I'm a huge Jennifer Beals fan now, due to L word. Wanted to see some of her former films. I started watching it this morning, cept for some stupid fucking reason (maybe it's a DVD rip...i can only play it with VLC media player) only the first part was in English. The 2nd part was in French, the 3rd part was in Spanish, the 4th part I think went back to English...and grrrr.....so now I can't a... ]]> ~WinterMoonSnow http://WinterMoonSnow.deviantart.com/journal/23051878/ http://WinterMoonSnow.deviantart.com/journal/23051878/ Sat, 07 Feb 2009 00:40:58 PST
On Wednesday I called the president of the GSA (Gay Straight Alliance) to ask if the club would be meeting, since she told me they meet the first and third wednesday of every month. Well, she told me there are only 3 members! I was shocked and a little dissapointed beacuse I was hoping this would be an opportunity for me to meet more poeple and find a support group, ya know? She even asked me if I wanted to be an officer. I can't remember the title but she said that person goes to the school club meetings (on thursdays)...but I said I might nto be able to cuz of work..b.ut I want to learn more about it first. I might reconsider. So, we hella need to recruit! She asked if I'd be okay trying to get people to join, passing out flyers. I don't have a problem with it.
I'm hoping will get to talk more about things soon and come up with ideas. I tried to ask Shane if he could join but he has classes...I really hope we can find people.

The other day at the mall one of the security guards, Victor, who my co-workers and I made acquantance with, came in to talk to me. He asked me for my phone number, and I gave it to him, thinking it wouldn't hurt. I have a hard time saying no to people, but he's actually really nice. Still, I had this problem with a security guard a year ago who I gave my e-mail to and he was set on dating me and even when I told him no, was very persistent with me, to the point where I had to talk to his boss about it,cuz he'd come into my job and bother me all the time (damn, I think that's a run-on sentence). I don't think this will happen but I'm still weary. After it all happend I said to myself "Why did you just do that?" I'm hoping he just wants to be friends. Why do I keep making friends with guys? No offense, guys can make great friends, but I have way too many of those already! Not that I want to let go of the ones I have, cuz they're all pretty damned awesome..I'm just saying, girls should have a good amount of girl friends, too! And I don't have many! Grrr! So frustrating! My friend said most girls he knows havea lot of guy friends and few girl friends cuz they see other girls as competition, which I think is hella fucking stupid, and I don't see things that way at all. I mean...if people never made freinds with their own gender, woudln't they get lonely and a bit upset they can't share things that the same sex would understand? Well anyway...so I was telling Laura today about the security guard and she said "Well, that doesn't surprise me."
"Really?" I asked. "Why's that?"
" 'Cuz you're pretty."
I put my hands on the cutting table and rested my head face-first onto them. Laura laughed and said "You walked right into that one." I laughed, too, still not believing she said that. She later commented on how Shane wore his hair down at work yesterday night and it made her happy. That's how I feel when she wears her hair down, course I could never say that, cuz I'd just sound like some creepy weirdo. I offered her a ride home since it was raining and I didn't want her to walk in it, like she did the day before. I told her she and Shane should've called me cuz I was nearby. She said she'd mentioned to Shane that if I found out they walked home in the rain I'd be mad, lol. Which is true, cuz if I can help I want to, especially since it takes Shane at least an hour, maybe more to walk home. I don't want my friends getting sick or anything. Well anyway...after work we drove to get food from Wendy's and I chilled at her house for a while, where we watched her brother play Halo. I asked her what she's doing Sunday since we both have that day off and we've planned to go to Good Will and the Hancock Fabrics on Blossom Hill, which brings me to something good. I successfully drove in the rain today, while it was dark! I drove to the Hancock there for some knit sequin fabric. I bought this nice lavender button-up collar shirt from good will the other day and got an idea from something I saw online and put the silver sequin fabric on the collar and the cuffs of the sleeves. They have beautiful fleece panels hanging at the blossom hill store! I saw one with dolphins and it made me think of my sister. I'm thinking when I next get paid I'll go visit there and get i... ]]> ~WinterMoonSnow http://WinterMoonSnow.deviantart.com/journal/22952657/ http://WinterMoonSnow.deviantart.com/journal/22952657/ Sun, 01 Feb 2009 20:29:54 PST Everyone took lots of pictures. I made sure to do so as well. Sony would come by my end of the table every now and then to see how everyone was doing and how our food was. At one point in time she came over and put her hands on my shoulers and was asking the people around me if she'd told them about me. She said "This girl's got some big cojones! (which confirmed my thought of her being Mexican. For those who don't know, the term means "testicles"). She knew about the L word premiere here two weeks ago and didn't have any lesbian friends so she drove here all by herself!" It's nice knowing someone thinks highly of me like that. After everything at Barracuda, we walked on over to The Lookout. I had been talking with this guy so I went with him to go get cigarettes and while outside another person from the party introduced herself. Her name was Gram and she had on this really cool thin mustache, same as the look I was going for but I thought hers was much better. She hella reminded me of Max from L Word. Trini, Sony's cousin, saw us outside and was like "what are you doing?" And I told her "we stopped to get some stuff" before following her into the club. Didn't have to pay a cover! YAY! I was surprised it wasn't as crowded as the first time I went. I hung around Jen, one of the girls who was sitting across from me at Barracuda. I didn't want to drink, but I was pondering getting a corona. Didn't buy one, but Jen let me try her drink , but I don't remember what the hell it was called. It tasted all right, kinda likea watered down vodka, but vanilla-y. When we all first got there we couldn't find Sony and her cousin started to worry a bit. She eventually showed up, but soon after there seemed to be some kind of argument going on between her and her girlfriend. I don't know what was said but I could tell in their body language that something wasn't right. In the end the group decided to leave the bar because it was kinda boring and we walked over to some other bar. I talked more with Jen. She's from Hayward, which is awesome cuz if I want to hang out it's not too far a distance from my place. She was asking me about if I'm out and all that and I told her "Well, some friends know, but that's about it. I felt like I had to say something."
"Is it because you have a girlfirend?" she asked, curious.
"No," I said before letting out a chuckle. "I don't have a girlfriend."
"You've never been with a girl?"
"No, not yet. I'm still a virgin, too!"
"What?!"
"LOL, I probably shouldn't have told you that..."
"Okay, I'm going to get you laid. It's my mission. What kind of girls do you like?"
I ended up telling her about my hatred for sports, cept that I like... ]]> ~WinterMoonSnow http://WinterMoonSnow.deviantart.com/journal/22931913/ http://WinterMoonSnow.deviantart.com/journal/22931913/ Sat, 31 Jan 2009 21:55:51 PST
Today is Sony's b-day so I called her this morning to leave her a Happy Birthday message. I had this crazy lump in my throat and I wasn't sure I'd be able to speak. It's been a while since I've been that nervous. She ended up calling me right as I was about to go back to the work floor from break, causing me to have an almost-heart attack. I picked up but we had a bad connection and couldn't hear each other. The call ended and I pleaded with Shane to give me 5 more minutes and I'd be back on the floor. I called Sony back and at first she wasn't sure who I was.

"Who is this?"
"Shana. We met at the L word premiere."
"Oh hey! What's up?"
"Just working. You?"
"Today's my B-day."
"Yeah, I left you a message earlier."
"Oh, thanks! Hey, I'm having a get-together tomorrow."
"I'm not sure about my schedule yet cuz my boss hasn't posted it. I gotta get back to work but I'll talk to you later."

The convo was something like that. Is it ever okay to remember conversations in detail like that? lol...Well anyway...I went back to working and checked my phone when business was slow and saw that she'd sent me a couple of texts and even left me a voicemail. I stood in the breakroom leaned against the doorway as I anxiously waited for the message from voicemail to start up. She finally recalled our encounter and apologized for the earlier convo, saying she'd worked from like 7AM to 4AM the other day, and was really tired and whatnot. I admit, I got kinda teary-eyed, cuz that's how happy I was. I'm such a dork! Then she gave full details on the brunch. It's like a block or two away from The Lookout, and it's a sushi place, which makes me happy cuz I luv sushi! <3 Afterword we're going to The Lookout. I'm so excited! I actually started working on that song for her last night...but I dunno if i'll finish it. I was going to try to make it short, and some kinda classical dance-ish tune since she likes to dance, or seems to.

I went to Good Will today and found an "I love NY" shirt for $1.45! Had to buy it since I'll be visiting that place in like...5 months. I'm gonna hella alter it and make it cool! XD I should do laundry but I'm too cold so I'll do it in the morning. The gas is filled up, but I should go to the bank. I really shoudlnt' be spending this money But i'll make everything work. Ack!

Today at work, I was ringing up this Chinese customer who barely spoke a lick of English. She was trying to use hand motions to explain something to me, and i finally got it and Shane was saying how we dont' need languages to understand each ohter, haha. Well, she had to go get her moneya nd when she came back and paid for it Shane was like "shi shi" and she was like "Bukuchi" and I was like "OMG! I know what she just said! OMG!" lol...and then Shane was trying to tell her about his name in Kanji as "SHI EN". He made this customized vest/jacket thingie and Chiense people keep freaking out when they see it because of the first character "shi" which means "death" and he's been told "oh that's BAD!" but his reason for using it is to go with the character "EN " for garden so "death garden", meaning that you leave your old experiences in the past (as though they're dead) and you grow from them into something better. This woman gave him a new kanji for "shi" that means "hope". I personally think "death garden" sounds a lot cooler but oh well....so our customer from today, as she was thanking me i said 'shi shi" and we all laughed and then she left. It was awesome! XD I love languages!
I just got off the phone with Laura not too long ago and she made this comment on how she thinks she talks with me more than she talks with her boyfriend. And i'm just like "hehe, I'm cool!" I was thinking though "Hah! in your face, boyfriend dude!" Aaagh I'm just all over the place right now with feelings. I saw these balloons in Party City with the Stealers (that's her fav. football team) and thought of getting her one but I opted not to. I was looking for a fake moustache...cuz Sony said the party is a moustache party! XD I think in the end i'll end up drawing a fake mustache on with eyeliner or some shit....cuz i can't find a better way to do it. >.< We'll see in the morning. My Great Uncle invited me and my Bro and my dad to his house tomorrow to watch the superbowl but I hadn't got my schedule till just today so I couldn't give him an answer. I didn't want to go though, cuz I hate football, though, honestly if I could watch it with Laura I wouldn't mind. It's one of those things that I don't like but would be willing to watch with/for someone e... ]]> ~WinterMoonSnow http://WinterMoonSnow.deviantart.com/journal/22893937/ http://WinterMoonSnow.deviantart.com/journal/22893937/ Thu, 29 Jan 2009 20:30:44 PST ~WinterMoonSnow http://WinterMoonSnow.deviantart.com/journal/22825376/ http://WinterMoonSnow.deviantart.com/journal/22825376/ Mon, 26 Jan 2009 14:32:33 PST
Today I drove to my sister's place in Hayward. I wasn't sure I could do it since I had a panic attack last night trying to get to a friend's friend's house (yes, i meant that twice: like friend of a friend's house). But the weather was great and sunny and I figured, "It's a new day! You are born anew and can drive again! Relax!" At least...that's what I thought after I was finally able to pull myself away from the bathroom (and that's all I'm going to say about that 'cuz I'm sure you don't want to know). I don't think I'd ever been this scared my entire life, seriously. To have a panic attack one day and be so nervous the next that I'm in the bathroom all morning! Aaagh! Anyway...I drove to the gas station to fill up my darling Kaoru (that's my car's name. For those who don't know yet, I have a tendency to name inanimate objects). Afterward I drove to work to give my boss my work schedule for when school starts (next week! O_o OMG)! Shane was the first person I saw when I arrived. I told him all about last night's horrible experience...but he kept telling me it was okay. Randy jokingly asked if I would help them with work today, as well as if I'd drive everyone to San Francisco, lol. Hellz to the NO O_o just cuz...I still need more experience on the road and I dont' wanna put other people in danger of my somtimes lame, terrible driving, lol. I know he's just kidding, though. Ack I have hick-ups! How do I get hick-ups eating ramen? Anyway...oh! speaking of ramen...when my sister and I went to Walmart...they had this ramen that was lime and shrimp flavor ! I really want to try it! But getting back to the story (if you can call it that)...gave my boss my schedule and we chatted about the store being so busy the previous day. Rose gave ideas on how we could boost sales and get customers coming back. Talked to Shane one last time before leaving the store and he gave me a hug, and if my memory serves correct, told me to drive okay. Went back home to eat pop tarts, but I ended up only eating half of one cuz I was too nervous to eat. Called my sis to tell her I was on my way and she asked if I wanted my hair done. Of course the answer was yes, so she said she had some mix for a perm but I told her I think I had one and she said to bring it just in case we needed more. I needed something relaxing to listen to while driving and I couldn't decide at first. Paper Raincoat combines the best of my favorites: Alex and Amber-however, the EP only has 4 songs and I wanted a CD with more tracks so I can gauge how close I'm getting to my destination. If I know how long it takes to get somewhere, I can imagine approx. how many tracks that comes to on a CD and it helps me relax. I thought of listening to Vienna...but then I thought that I've never listened to Amber in the car before so Amber it was! She truly is a genius, that woman. All right, so I was feeling confident and motivated. I tried to only listen to the GPS and not look so much at the signs on the screen and focused more on looking at the signs on the actual road. I think I wasn't focusing correctly last night and that's what fucked everything up. Once again my Dad's tip of staying in the middle lane came in handy-it usually always comes in handy since a lot of the times the far right line becomes an exit. I actually went the speed limit today and for some reason...it felt like I was going slower than I was s'posed to-it was shocking. I safely made it to my sis's house and parked outside on the street. We went to Walmart so she could do some shopping. She was a bit sad because they didn't have the old-school foods she wanted...like the raspberry nutri-grain bars...or the quaker oatmeal with raisins in it. I never knew they made them like that and it's probably cuz they stopped production long ago, haha. I bought some hair tyes (cuz all I have is that one I borrowed from Shane) and then we went to the Subway shop they had inside to order a couple of $5 foot-longs. I had mine with roasted chicken, chipotle sauce, lettuce, tomatoes, and black olives, and cheese (I think it was provalone but I don't know). When we got back to my sis' place, I tore that sandwich up! I ate it so fast my stomach didn't realize I was full until I got to literally the last bite. I had finished it off when my sister only had half of hers. We watched the movie The Color Purple while we ate and while she did my hair. Sometimes I think she should become a hairstylist. She did my hair for prom (into an updo with curls) and it was spectacular! We always make a joke of it when I get my hair done: She pretends to be a friend who asks "Where did you get your hair done?" and I'll say "Shannelle's boutique!" This time I had mo... ]]> ~WinterMoonSnow http://WinterMoonSnow.deviantart.com/journal/22791943/ http://WinterMoonSnow.deviantart.com/journal/22791943/ Sat, 24 Jan 2009 21:50:15 PST
At least at the end of the day tomorrow I can look forward to watching The L word with Lonny.

]]> ~WinterMoonSnow http://WinterMoonSnow.deviantart.com/journal/22766583/ http://WinterMoonSnow.deviantart.com/journal/22766583/ Fri, 23 Jan 2009 18:14:04 PST
My quest to meet someone around my age continues! T_T

]]> ~WinterMoonSnow http://WinterMoonSnow.deviantart.com/journal/22751830/ http://WinterMoonSnow.deviantart.com/journal/22751830/ Fri, 23 Jan 2009 04:00:04 PST
THE PARTY:
Tonight I went to Curve magazine's L word party in Frisco at Ruby Skye, near Union Square. Accompanying me was my now-new-friend Lonny, who responded to a post I made on livejournal asking who was going to the event. He lives relatively close and didn't have anyone to go with either so we carpooled to the event in his car. The drive over mostly consisted of gushing over Kate (Shane), reminiscing about episodes, and getting more acquainted with each other. It was a swift drive, too! We left around 7:30pm and arrived around 8:00pm-I was so shocked! We found somewhere to park and lined up outside with others for the event. Not after too long they started letting people in. We were separated for a bit since I got a VIP ticket and he had general admission and there were separate lines, but there was someone coming who was going to sell him a VIP ticket. I started talking with the woman in front of me and we went upstairs to the VIP area. Her name was Mae. Eventually Lonny got his VIP ticket and we all chilled upstairs together, watching the dance floor and exploring the few rooms/areas. It was a huge dance floor and to the sides of the DJ were platforms where these women would dance (one on each side). Their outfits changed periodically through the night (at least 3 times). There was a huge spinning silver disco ball above the dance floor. Lonny was nice enough to buy me some drinks. Now I've had a midori sour! It's really yummy, like green apple. I know Ra-kun will be proud, hahhaha. So, most of the time Lonny, Mae, and I semi-danced and chatted until one of the secret guests arrived. It was Rose Rollins who plays Tasha on the show. At first everyone was surprised because she looked so different, but she sure is beautiful! She's very kind and friendly as well. She walked around the area and was taking pictures with those who asked. Lonny took a picture of us together and it came out great and I was so happy! ^__^ I told her that I loved her on the show. Soon after there was an autograph session. They were selling the curve magazine featuring her on the front so the 3 of us bought one and anxiously waited in line. I forgot most of what I wanted to tell her that time around...She asked my name when signing it and then she wrote that I was cute! ^___^ I thanked her for signing and tried to thank her for the photo earlier but she misunderstood and thought I was trying to ask her for another photo. We all gushed over our signatures then went downstairs for more drinks and semi-dancing, lol.

The PICK UP
Then, I noticed this woman walked up to Lonny and started talking to him. They seemed to be looking over at me so I figured they must've been talking about me. I looked at them wondering what was going on. Next thing I know she comes over to me and is asking my name and tells me that I'm beautiful. I thank her and look over at Lonny mouthing "what did you do?" in the midst of my confusion. She introduces herself as Eva. She was about my height, of Mexican descent, with blonde hair that cascaded a little past her shoulders in sausage curls. I couldn't hear everything she was saying because the music was so loud. She leaned her head close over my shoulder while I tried to talk in her ear and I felt my head go fuzzy, wondering if that was my 2nd Midori kicking in or if she was really the cause of that (though it's most likely the first). She told me something like I dressed conservative, similar to her girlfriend (and I don't know if that's current girlfriend, ex girlfriend or girl who's a friend who she's just calling girlfriend) and again said that I was beautiful. Since you'll probably want to know, I was wearing my black H & M floral dress that ends below the knees, with my red Vivienne Westwood love jacket and a pair of black heels. Then Eva was saying something about hooking me up, but once again I'm not entirely sure because the music was so loud. She asked about my cell and proceeded to write down her digits! O_o I still couldn't believe what was happening! She wrote "Style it" at the bottom (so I wondered if maybe she works at a salon of some sort) and then signed her name (least that's what it looks like-I can't really make out what it is.) Afterward she held up her fist and I pounded mine with hers. Then she did the same to Lonny and left. Still in shock I asked him "What did you do?!" to which he replied "I didn't do anything!" He said she'd been eye-ing me for a bit so he thought she might come over and that she asked him if we were a couple. What's funny is earlier before all this happened he said that he bet if he left some woman would come over to talk to me. In fact he as... ]]> ~WinterMoonSnow http://WinterMoonSnow.deviantart.com/journal/22713252/ http://WinterMoonSnow.deviantart.com/journal/22713252/ Wed, 21 Jan 2009 12:55:36 PST

Driving back to San Francisco tomorrow for Curve magazine's L word event where some of the cast will be there (but we don't know who since the description says secret cast members). I hope at least Jennifer Beals and Katherine Moennig will show up. There's rumor that Rose Rollins'll be there. ^__^ I admit I'm a little nervous to go back even though I know I can do it-just the fact that this party ends at 2 AM. I just hope I can find parking. I don't wanna be walking around too far at night that late...but I can always ask someone to escort me to my car. There's supposed to be a parking garage like right near to the club (Ruby Skye). I wanted to get there early...it doesn't start till like...9pm but I dunno how it's like driving to Frisco around 7pm. Plus I like driving in daylight a lot better. I wanna get good parking. I tried to call to ask how they're going to do things, if a person can go into the club early and wait around (like how I did with the premiere) or if they're gonna have lines outside for those who bought VIP tickets, advanced tickets, and those just buying right then and there....but the person I talked to didn't know anything. I'm going to try to call again either today or tomorrow morning. The venue's not too too far away from the last club I went to...however, my directions with the Tom Tom (I watched a preview and read street directions too) take me a little bit of a different way. It mentions 280 and 101 like last time, but also downtown san francisco bay bridge and civic center bay bridge.

]]> ~WinterMoonSnow http://WinterMoonSnow.deviantart.com/journal/22664986/ http://WinterMoonSnow.deviantart.com/journal/22664986/ Mon, 19 Jan 2009 01:20:25 PST
bird 1) Going to a bar
bird 2) Going to a gay bar

Dunno how many of you have read about me talking about the show but it's about lesbians so it only makes sense. I haven't told too many people and I'm not even sure if my sometimes (seemlingly random) entries about lesbian things has tipped anyone off (or if it's just confused people, lol)...but I think I'm bi or even possibly lesbian. This might not make sense to certain people who have read/heard me/my talk about former male crushes/loves...but I've been doing a lot of self-discovery and a lot of self-reflection and most importantly following where my heart leads. Right now, it's telling me that I'm attracted to women. I really wanted to get out there and finally do something about it so having gone to this premiere was a big step for me. Finally having acted upon something. I got there early, around...4pm so as to avoid traffic and to get a good spot. It was mostly full of men at that time. The guy checking ID's really liked my hair. I sported a fauxhawk. I told him that I found a youtube tutorial for instructions and he told me he had looked up instructions on youtube for something similar. This place was so packed! When I first got there I freaked because there was nowhere to park...I had to drive at least 5 blocks away to park. But anyway....while waiting I ordered the best fries in the world: SWEET POTATO FRIES! OMg, when I was researching this bar someone's review talked about these fries and I knew I had to try them. They are THE SHIT! GAWD! ANd they were only $5 (I got just about EVERYONE at my table to order them). I chose a spot really close to the TV, a table for 4. I saw someone putting out L word shirts so I went to talk to her: She was part of the HRC (human rights campaign) and I bought an L word poster, later followed by an L word T-shirt which I shall proudly sport tomorrow (BEFORE work of course...)! Later on, the woman who I'd bought the poster from came to my table and handed me a free CD saying "You've been our best customer so far." I made sure to thank her later when I left the bar. Anyway...About...2-3 hours later a couple of women came to find a spot. There still weren't too many people in that area at the time and they wanted to be able to see the TV so I told them they could sit with me. We got to talking. They were really great! They're from Sonoma, which one of them says, is chock full of lesbians! LOL They've been together since september. They asked me to take some pictures of them together and then they showed me pictures of the dog one of them owns (I'm sorry I really can't remember their names). We talked about our ages, whether or not our parents knew we were out, and how long we've been lesbians. And of course, about the L word. One of them told me she'd dated a lot of guys before she became a lesbian so that doesn't make me feel to odd that I was into a lot of guys and now am almost exclusively into women. Eventually some more people showed up and we had 3 additions to our table. One couple was local. I was really attracted to one of the girls-her name was Sony.

Sony was short, maybe...5'3". Her hair was really short and black, cut close in the back with bangs that swooped to the left in the front. Tattoes covered the upper portion of her left arm. She had this somewhat deep voice. She was kind and friendly ^_^ She has a moped...well actually two: one orange (which she'd driven that night to the event) and one blue at home. She was nice enough to offer me to stay the night at her place if I needed to. Everyone was really shocked that I came from San Jose all by myself, and so early, lol. Anyway...she and her girlfriend gave me a list of different lesbian clubs in the area, and even a website. Sony even gave me her phone number and invited me to her b-day party at the end of the month. Dunno if I can go...but it would be cool. If she didn't already have a gf I would've been so all over her.

The L word showing started a little after 9. Great first episode. One hot dominatiing sex scene, and OMG LUCY LAWLESS played a POLICE OFFICER in the first 3 minu... ]]> ~WinterMoonSnow http://WinterMoonSnow.deviantart.com/journal/22644875/ http://WinterMoonSnow.deviantart.com/journal/22644875/ Sun, 18 Jan 2009 02:13:26 PST .< I was so worried! At about 1 AM I decided I really should head home before I get too tired. I set up my GPS and this time, as Ra-kun suggested, I spit on the end of the suction to keep it in place. Proved to be VERY effective! Anyway, so the road that it gave me home, which I previewed before leaving, turned out to be different than I thought. I went up a certain street and I know normally I'm supposed to make a right onto...880? 280? whichever one it is...but it lead me elsewhere, to where I had to turn on 101. I started freaking out so I tried to turn around to go back the way I came and then the GPS was acting a little slow and saying streets to turn on after I passed them so I freaked and slowed down and it finally caught up with me again....I wasn't sure how to go back to where I was so I decided to just let the GPS navigate me though I was scared and wasn't sure where I was....I had to make this one left turn onto the freeway and since it was nighttime and all...I got confused a bit with which lane I was supposed to be in and exactly where I was supposed to turn. I'm glad that it wasn't during the day with lots of people....cuz I might've ended up causing an accident of some sort....T_T so scary! So I followed my GPS and it finally took me somewhere familiar. I'm still too scared to go 65 on the freeway....I started going 50 at one point gawd...so eventually I did find my way home. I was so relieved! Roads sure look different at night!

I'm a bit scared about tomorrow beacuse I'm driving up to San Francisco. AT least I intend to. I printed out directions as a back-up in case something happens with the GPS....but yeah. I'm a bit scared. It's not like I've never driven on the freeway before. I've gone to Monterey plenty of times...but I've never driven much on the freeway alone, like I did today. But I figure if I don't get used to it now, I never will. I can't just always be afraid, I have to do this. I have to conquer this fear that I have. Well now I know I can trust the GPS...I hope it'll lead me to San Francisco safely. I keep trying to tell myself over and over that it's simple: just keep the right speed, stay in the correct lane, make sure that when you're changing lanes you have enough room. Simple as that, right? I'm still shaken up right now and trying to relax! If I can survive for the supposed 55 minutes that it's going to take to get there...I should be fine.... >.< I'll probably leave around 3 or 4...though the doors don't open at the venue till 8. But I wanna make sure I'm able to find parking in time and get in without worrying about space. I RSVP'd but that doesn't guarantee space so i'm gonna be there quite some time early.

Ok, off to bed now to relax and be well-rested for tomorrow and be triumphant! If I can survive tomorrow, I can survive anything!

]]> ~WinterMoonSnow http://WinterMoonSnow.deviantart.com/journal/22625562/ http://WinterMoonSnow.deviantart.com/journal/22625562/ Sat, 17 Jan 2009 01:14:54 PST The other day I dreamt I was walking around somewhere with my Dad and brother. I got mad cuz I felt like they weren't paying me any attention. All of a sudden my Dad offers me this curry made by some Japanese woman...and we were talkingg about how good it was, how it was better than the one my brother normally makes. Something like that..

AMBER
I dreamt I was at some house and Amber Rubarth was performing. She was singing a song whose lyrics went something like "It's hard to find a perfect sunset/Even harder to find the muscle man to match/But I love the way my life is right now" and for some reason I was brought to tears. I guess mostly because I do love my life right now so that's how that translated into my dreams. Afterward Amber and everyone was eating frozen yogurt..cept I believe it was frozen yogurt on a stick! O_o There was a lter part of the dream where I was at a carnival of some sort...and there was something involving video games + cats but I don't remember well...

]]> ~WinterMoonSnow http://WinterMoonSnow.deviantart.com/journal/22540911/ http://WinterMoonSnow.deviantart.com/journal/22540911/ Mon, 12 Jan 2009 10:32:43 PST
I don't think my Dad would be comfortable with me driving all the way to Frisco alone >.< but...eh, I've got my license and I don't really want to have to take bart or anything else there. I wonder who the secret stars will be...I really hope Jennifer Bills will be there, as well as Laruel Holloman and hopefully Kathering Moennig *happy sigh* there's speculation that Rose Rollins will be there. I hope Daniela Sea is there, too!

OMG as a present to myself for passing, I'm totally going to buy myself a GPS system! XD

This is going to sound really stupid but I need to learn how to fill up the gas tank >.> Sheesh I'm spoiled...whenever we had to get gas and I was driving Dad always just did it...now's a good time to learn as any though. It's only a quarter tank now, just cuz I don't do a lot of driving...usually just to work and back home from there, and to school which ain't that far. When I go to frisco though I'll make it a full tank. The party I'm going to is at 8pm..and ends at 2 AM...i wanna be in Frisco super early...does anyone have suggestions for the best time to leave so as to not worry about traffic?

Expect me to start visiting some of you a lot these days!

Yup, 2009 is off to a wonderful start!

Gonna go make a mix tape for my car because ever since watching Ex-Driver I told myself when I got my licenese the first song I would listen to is "Kaze ni Nare" (Become the Wind) which is the opening theme by Jam Project. If nobody here has seen Ex-driver, it's an Anime about car-driving. It's set in the future where cars are automated by themselves and the only people who can actually DRIVE cars or have Driver's licenses (they usually stop the automated cars from going out of control) are called Ex-Drivers.

W00t! okay, gonna finish calling up peeps to tell them the good news and then I'm napping. W0000000H0000000000!

]]> ~WinterMoonSnow http://WinterMoonSnow.deviantart.com/journal/22453519/ http://WinterMoonSnow.deviantart.com/journal/22453519/ Wed, 07 Jan 2009 14:13:51 PST Go to urbandictionary.com and type in your answers to the following questions.
Post the first definition it gives you.
Tag 3 people: Whoever xD

1.Your name?
shana-the hebrew word for "beatiful". also a female girls' name

2.Your age?
21- 3 definitions:

1. The age at which one is finally considered human.
2. The magical age where it is legally ok to get incredibly drunk. At this time, a young adult spends most of his free time consuming vast amounts of alcohol in a variety of forms, saying that they're "making up for lost years."
3. The magic number in the game of Blackjack.
Croupier: '21 - we have a winner'
CardShark: 'ay me out my one-and-a-half, biatch'

3.One of your friends?
Shane
A word derived from a Greek "San" one of three of the modern day symbols considered obsolete in the Greek language. The name was given to the children of those who were considered "criminally genius". Also considered to be one of the few names that can effect the owner's personality over their lifetime in a aesthetically pleasing but deeply malicious way. Perceived by the Romans to be the only name "combining good and evil to create balance and perfection."
"Shane... it flows off the tongue like silk."
"When you scream "Shane!" it vibrates your body right down the middle... wow try it."

4.What should you be doing?
Studying

An excuse you give your friends when you want to stay home alone and masturbate. Also known as 'reading' 'cleaning your room' or writing a term paper.
"Want to hang out?"

"No, I'm going to stay home and study."

5.Favorite color?
blue

The hue of the portion of the visible spectrum lying between green and indigo, evoked in a human observer by radiant energy with wavelengths of approximately 420 to 490 nanometers.


6.Birthplace?
san francisco

A really nice place in CA. Fun places to see, lovely place to stay, nice people, diverse culture.

7.Month of your birth?
February. It didn't find anything so i'll go with: FEBUARY

The way in which February SHOULD be spelt. Who says ru..its stupid!
Febuary makes more sense...who comes up with spellings!

8.Last person you talked to?
John

a person who uses the services of a prostitute

9.One of your nicknames?
Megumi-it didn't find anything so i'll go with
Binky (nickname my Mom gave me).

A brand name of pacifier. It's a registered trade mark of Playtex, but much to the annoyance of their lawyers, it's often used as a generic term for any pacifier.

]]> ~WinterMoonSnow http://WinterMoonSnow.deviantart.com/journal/22452837/ http://WinterMoonSnow.deviantart.com/journal/22452837/ Wed, 07 Jan 2009 13:39:04 PST "Yes, girl who asks many questions?" she replied.
"Is it true that you're going to be in the next season of the L Word?"
"Yes."
"I really love that show!" Then she hurried off to the meet and greet. For some reason there was a white desk in the room that had tree leaves/roots set onto it that formed triangles and squares. I took some before I left the room. When I got outside it was like an auditorium. The rows were filled and toward the front was a screen that showed a video of Hamasaki Ayumi performing live. For some reason people were singing karaoke along to it. This girl was trying to sing "Fly High" but she couldn't remember all the words so they were offering the mic up. I took it and finished off the final two lines of the song before handing it to someone else for another song. I was a bit bummed that I couldn't karaoke because a lot of people before me were waiting and there'd be no time but I said "well, that's okay," to the person next to me. "This is still a really awesome day." I showed her the autograph Lucy Lawless had given me and she said "Hey, she didn't give any of those to the rest of us!" Then I woke up.

]]> ~WinterMoonSnow http://WinterMoonSnow.deviantart.com/journal/22323427/ http://WinterMoonSnow.deviantart.com/journal/22323427/ Thu, 01 Jan 2009 03:47:49 PST
The past new years I've always been home alone, and I was beginning to get depressed till Nick called me up and asked if I wanted to go to a nearby party. It was awesome! Got there and Red gave me a shot of rum, which fucked me up for a good half hour -__- damn. Then I drank a beer and ate lots of cake slices. Not normal cake...but like flat cake? like sponge cake or something...but not exactly. Talked to some interesting people, including people who I went to high school with. Got kissed by a girl. SWEET! She was going around pretty much kissing everybody though. But still, I've always wanted to be kissed on New Years. Ask and you shall receive! XD

Quote of the day: "That's one tricked out Organ!" (Suite Life on Deck. This dude had a necklace and called it the "kidney of the sea").

And now I'm tired. And it's almost 4 AM O_o HAPPY FUCKING NEW YEAR!!!!! XD

]]> ~WinterMoonSnow http://WinterMoonSnow.deviantart.com/journal/22228189/ http://WinterMoonSnow.deviantart.com/journal/22228189/ Sat, 27 Dec 2008 14:54:34 PST YAY! *does back flips* I sent him an e-mail updating the day and he said it's on his calendar! ^___^ I've died happy this year more times than I can count on my hands and feet. I must work hard and show my hero what I can do! *shakes fist in determination*

The year is drawing to a close! Thank whatever God it is that I believe in! A New year with a clean slate and a new attitude is approaching! More than ever I'm excited to go back to school and learn more about music! I have all this stuff inside me, I can't really describe it or even believe it's happening. I've never been so motivated. I feel like the pieces are finally fitting into place. I've come up with tons of ideas for songs...trying to write from the perspective of other people. This is a truly amazing thing, believe it or not. I think I used to focus so much on only writing about my own experiences and I forgot there's a whole nother world out there. Amazingly I came up with more lyrics to Devon's song (which I like to say is now 1/4 of the way done. If I can finish them in time, I'll send them to him next month. I feel bad because I no longer remember when his b-day is, just that it's sometime in January >.< I had it on one of my calendar's...but it seems to be lost now Anyway...I also started trying to write a song about my sister's pregnancy. I'm so excited for her-I know she'll be a terrific Mother. She knows the sex of the baby on Monday! I'm excited! I'm also trying to write a song from the merged perspectives of my Dad and Grandmother. I'm still doing a lot of ghost-writing...but it works for me so as they say "if it's not broken don't fix it." The only song I've successfully written without ghost-writing is Devon's song , Saying Goodbye Doesn't mean it's the end, And...Addicted To You. OMg some year when I'm able to, I'm going to join the vocal jazz ensemble and see if I can get them to do my song. This other kid did, and it was truly amazing, and I was moved like "WOAH!" Hey, I can do that, too! I'm really inspired.

Gawd, I have all this free time and I want to do so much sewing! But like...even though I just bought a shitload of patterns I don't know what to do XD! I really want to make a furisode, type of Kimono worn by younger unmarried women, ususally when they come of age and to formal events like tea ceremonies and New Years I believe.

DAd got me a DVD player for Christmas, and it plays all regions, YAY! I was thinking about how I want to re-watch Tenchi, though I only have the movies. If I had money I'd finally buy the rest of Wedding Peach and finish it. Gawd, I feel so un-Otaku. I haven't gotten into any of the newer series and I haven't read much manga either! I'm so behind. Plus I'm not going to Fanime next year. But that's due to Carnegie, not because I don't want to go.

All right, I'm off to maybe figure out this Kimono pattern thingie and then go to work. Hooray I have Sunday off! I'm either going to sew all day or have a combination of sewing and working on music.

]]> ~WinterMoonSnow http://WinterMoonSnow.deviantart.com/journal/22028381/ http://WinterMoonSnow.deviantart.com/journal/22028381/ Wed, 17 Dec 2008 08:05:35 PST
Today is piano final! Which I've practiced for, but I've got Japanese as well, which I have not studied for! O_o

A lot happened the other day. I was waiting for the bus and as it came to a stop it caused a bunch of debris to fly up into the air, some of which got into my eye. It teared up and hurt like a bitch and even though I tried to water it and use eyedrops on it when I got home it was still hella irritated. I went to Japanese class since we were going to review for the final but I could barely concentrate with the pain of my eye and I had told my teacher i'd most likely be leaving at break because I might have an infection or something....so I did and Dad drove me to Kaizer's emergency room. The wait wasn't very long, surprisingly. I saw 5 different people that night! O_o The first person, was this dude from Texas (he transferred here cuz of his job) who asked me to associate the pain with the list of words he was going to list. He gave me some tissue to dry my eye when it got teary and I waited in the lobby once more. I was called after maybe...10 minutes...and taken in to a room by a woman. I waited a bit and then I was taken outside by another woman to read an eye chart with my good eye and also with my bad eye. Then I went back to the room and the woman from before returned to numb my eye and find whatever the fuck was in there. Sure enough she did, it was a very VERY miniscule fragment of dirt. -__- I was like "are you serious? THAT little thing caused all this pain?" She replied with "Yeah, shows you just how sensetive our eyes are." Afterward she hooked up this machine that shone 3 different colors into my eye (green, yellow, and...pink? i think) to see if there was anything else. We discovered my eyeball got scratched, so I was given some antibiotics which I have to take for the next 4 days. Another lady came in to administer a tetnis (sp?) shot. Since I coudln't rememmber my last time having one and beacuse of my eyeball being scratched.

Yup, I'm having a fun week!

]]> ~WinterMoonSnow http://WinterMoonSnow.deviantart.com/journal/21973410/ http://WinterMoonSnow.deviantart.com/journal/21973410/ Sun, 14 Dec 2008 01:40:27 PST
I rented a sedan from a limo company to take me to the venue, the lovely Palace of Fine Arts Theatre in Frisco. The driver was really nice, had outstanding customer service skills. We made some good conversation. ^_^

At the venue, I met a woman outside who asked me "Are you the one that always dresses like a doll?" haha. "Yes," I admitted. She told me about other concerts she attended, like Snow Patrol and we talked for the hour before they let us into the performance hall. Mr. Wong showed up (just as I knew he would) and some former PHHS students were there, too.

The concert itself was so amazing! Paper Raincoat kicked major ass! I'm STILL semi-kicking myself for not running up to the stage for the tambourine when Alex offered it saying "If anyone thinks they can play better than New York, please come up." I was in the 2nd row and I thought it would be too much trouble for me to run up there...but I was too much in shock to move..."Is he serious?" I asked my neighbor, who was responsible for getting me 2nd row since his daughter couldn't make it to the show. I originally had like the 5th or 7th row. DAmn...I came close to living out my other dream, chance to perform (even if for very short while) on stage with my heroes! AAAAAAAAGGGH! I think KQED was recording at this show too? I overheard Michelle saying something...Anyway....this woman in the front row went up...and it was pretty awesome.

Aside from being a mega-genius full of talent, Amber is really hott! She had this uber cool brown (and shiny) dress shirt-dress and some black leggings with really cute boots. Her figure is so pretty I died when she sang "Rough Cut." Which I play on piano EVERY TIME I go to school XD and when I get home now, too...^___^ But anyway....and OMG Vienna was wearing my favorite outfit! I've decided, next concert I have to wear my Kimono dress, cuz maybe she'll wear hers (just like the 3 concerts i've last seen her in) so that I can finally match her (i know i'm weird, we've established this). Vienna was great, especially in a song she debuted for the first time EVER ...which I overheard from Eric is called "House." The chord changes were too beautiful for words, as well as the melody, and the lyrics, as usual, paint a very vivid story.

After the concert, I waited around to see my heroes. Alex was the first one I saw. I told him he was great and gave him the annual batch of cookies. We hugged and he really liked my fur coat. I was anxious to meet Amber and asked if she was in the back (he was going to get more Cds for the merch table) and he said she was out front. So I stood waiting for him to come back out before heading to the front and Amber came to the back and I freaked and called out her name. She stopped and I just said "I have something for you!" without even introducing myself.
"What is it?" she asked.
"I wrote you a song!"
"Really? Wow, thanks! You just made my day!"
"Just give me a moment to get it..." I rummaged my seemingly space defying Vienna Teng green caravan tour bag and finally dug it out and handed it to her. Then she hugged me and said she couldn't wait to listen to it. ^__^ Then I told her about how I
"I tried your sandwich, the one with the peanut butter and grapes..."
"How did you like it?"
"I really loved it!"
"It's the best thing I've ever created! Hey, do you have a CD yet?"
"Yes, The Paper Raincoat one-I had someone buy it for me a while back. Is "New Green Lines" here?"
"Yes! I'll get you one!"
I patiently waited for them to stock the merch table with more Paper Raincoat CDs and she proceeded to get me her Green Lines one. She handed it to me.
"Here!"
"Thank you so much! Give me a moment and I'll pay you"
"Oh don't worry about it!"
"Thank you sooo much! http://WinterMoonSnow.deviantart.com/journal/21840220/ Fri, 05 Dec 2008 23:19:00 PST
I'm in a pretty good mood. I found a really good lesbian story at Barnes and Noble called The Rainbow Cedar. I haven't been able to put it down, which is a mixed blessing because while it's a wonderful story I'm just flying through the chapters cuz it's only 200-something pages long >.< I'm gonna want another story to read when I'm done with it.
Totally wanting to go to a bar now, though I've pretty much been thinking about it since Christina told me about the one Downtown.. ....when I get my license or something...I'll beg Shane to go with me. XD

I've been trying out a new hairstyle. Well, not new in general, but new for me, a fauxhawk. But it's the kind where the hair is just teased and combed back and poofy. Mine stays extra poofy since my hair is thick to begin with and i found a tutorial on youtube for it...I curl two sections of hair and cover it with a 3rd section so it stands up pretty well. I wanna try an actual mohawk mohawk sometime though, cuz I found a good tutorial for that as well. I rather like this style...don't be too shocked next time you see me

Vienna concert next week! I'm so fucking stoked! I can't stop thinking about it and meeting amber and hoping mr. wong and the misses will be there and...gawd, just excited. I have enough money to take the limo/sedan there...but i'm hoping my friend who's trying to go will be able to work things out..she wants to carpool...me her, and her friend. it'd be a lot cheaper and then i could put the money i saved up for the concert in my savings. I hope they have paper raincoat merchandise. I really want a t-shirt. They're cute! Gawd, I'm excited just to make my annual batch of cookies! XD I bought organic chocolate chips to use this time (cuz they were cheap) and I bought melt away mints (which are pink, green, and...yellow and taste uber yummy), on the pricier side when compared to the organic choco chips.

Hung out with John the other day. It was fun. And I'm still able to be really open with him, which is good cuz I was afraid I lost that ability. He told me his gf listens to Amber Rubarth, lol, fucking awesome. We actually like a lot of the same stuff...we probably would get along really well...

A group of cosplayers came into my store today, one of which I'd met sometime earlier this week or last week...awesome. I'm so excited! I dunno if i'll get to go to fanime this year seeing as carnegie trip is 2 weeks after and that's hella time that i'd be taking off work -___- i'm gonna ask for paid vacation while i'm going to carnegie...I just don't thing I coudl swing enough money to go to both. I still have another $900 to give to carnegie and sicne i'm still taking voice lessons i'm still gonna be paying like...$280 a month, plus the 200 to dad for bills...I should be able to gain all the money for carnegie during break though, since i wont' have school till feb 2nd and that's a month and a half that i have to save up and i'll be working more hours, plus time and a half for christmas eve. I'm working 12 hours tomorrow! w00t! hooray for money! thank goodness, cuz i'm only working 3 next week due to concerts with the choir and finals etc...

May I stress again how much of a goddess Vienna Teng is? I just finally listened to her composition of "Chestnuts roasting on an open fire" and it's gorgeous! It simply just makes me melt...

]]> ~WinterMoonSnow http://WinterMoonSnow.deviantart.com/journal/21531085/ http://WinterMoonSnow.deviantart.com/journal/21531085/ Mon, 17 Nov 2008 08:40:25 PST
Since burning an audio CD worked, I tried to burn a data CD. IT was successful till it got to 100%, then it said something like there was an error and it couldn't finish it correctly and that the disc may not be usable. However, I ran it afterward and it seems like eveyrthing made it on there...*shrug* I guess I can only burn audio fornow...so if worse comes to worse that's just what i'll have to do for all my songs >.<

I'm kinda hopeful that things will start to get better. Having been able to finally record my song really lifted my spirits, though I'm still upset about my DVD player. I was able to take the cover off and get my friend's DVD out though.

Now I gotta get ready for class >.< And try to apply to some stores. I hate how it seems hard to get store applications now, they're all online! Gah, how inconveniently convenient! Anyway, ciao!

]]> ~WinterMoonSnow http://WinterMoonSnow.deviantart.com/journal/21508624/ http://WinterMoonSnow.deviantart.com/journal/21508624/ Sat, 15 Nov 2008 21:13:45 PST
*sigh* I'm going to lose a whole shitload of stuff maybe...but what upsets me more than anything is that I had finally just about finished the song I wrote for Amber...All I really had left to do was to piece the parts together, conver them into an mp3, then burn them onto a CD....*CRIES* I worked so hard on it...so very hard...I managed to save all the files onto the SD Card from my camera (also sent them to myself in an e-mail)...but I can't piece them together...beause I need Acid Pro or any music-loop type of program...and I can't put that onto my Dad's computer or he'd probably be mad...maybe if i'd explain the situation but i don't want my family bitching at me for getting sypware....*sigh* and I had found a successful to save all my stuff.. I can fit files on the SD card so I thought I'd transfer them all to my Dad's computer and burn them...of course nothing's ever that easy...my Dad's cd drives don't fucking work for some reason and my brother doesn't have the burner installed into his computer....TT_TT so I have no way to burn the song to CD even if I was able to piece it together...I can almost get Acid to run in safe mode but it doesn't load...at least last time I tried it took forever and a day then did nothing...froze up....If worse came to worse I figured I could send Amber the song in an e-mail but since she's so busy...I don't know if she'd ever get to open it and listen to it...I really wanted to give it to her at the December show...*CRIES* I don't know what to do now...

If that's not bad enough my fucking DVD player decidd to crap out on me...I went to press the play button and it turned off...I kept pressing the standby button and it woudl come on but nothing would come across the screen...it remained blue as it was when it turned off...so then I unplugged it from the wall..(which was probably stupid) and I plugged it back in and now it's worse...when I press the standby button it just blinks and blnks and blinks and now the DVD player won't do anything...I seriously sat down adn cried my eyes out...I spent a good $100 on that thing...It was multi-region...played all my dvds...I was in the middle of watching a series my co-worker Laura let me borrow called the 12 Kingdoms and I was enjoying it and now the 4th disc is stuck in the goddamned DVD player...crying over something so small seems pretty silly but...I've just had a lot going on....I have all these goddamned things to pay for and it's driving me insane that I don't really have any money to myself...my boss cut down my hours next week so I'll be short...this is why I barely have money for myself...they shoudlnt' have hired new people they should've just given those of us there more hours. stupid assholes...i want a new job so badly...........*sigh* ....I've been trying to sell things so I can have enough to take a limo (sedan) to the concert next month...cuz i have no other way to get to it. I gave up on buying tickets for friends and inviting them to concerts together with me because they NEVER show up on time to pick me up and we end up late and I miss stuff and it pisses the fuck out of me...I Can't rely on people anymore. GRRRR...I could go fling my DVD player across the room...but i won't....I can't afford a new DVD player...I can't afford anything...i'm not giving anyone anything for Christmas and I'm not expecting anyone to give me anything either...

Fuck, i'm starting to pull my hair out again...

I have nothign to do now...i mean other than homework...it sucks how much we rely on technology...i'm so upset though that i don't feel like doing much of anything....

I have 3 weeks to try to figure out a way to burn amber's song to CD...if worse comes to worse...maybe I can try and make her one of my infamous dolls....if not, then I guess the cookies will just have to do...

]]> ~WinterMoonSnow http://WinterMoonSnow.deviantart.com/journal/21413850/ http://WinterMoonSnow.deviantart.com/journal/21413850/ Sun, 09 Nov 2008 23:40:04 PST

]]> ~WinterMoonSnow http://WinterMoonSnow.deviantart.com/journal/21220798/ http://WinterMoonSnow.deviantart.com/journal/21220798/ Wed, 29 Oct 2008 17:04:14 PDT .< we were supposed to learn 5 songs by today and she gave them to us at the beginning of the month. ohwell...ack 3 points taken off for it being late T_T oh well...maybe i can do some extra credit. At the end as I was leaving another student came up to me and I thought maybe she was going to ask me for help, too, but she told me that she dreamt about me. I honestly wasn't really sure how to react to that. We'd talked before so it's not like we didn't know each ohter or anything but I definately wasn't expecting to hear that. She said that we were driving somewhere and that we had a closer connection than we do in real life. I was just like "....oh! Uh, that's cool!" Then there was an akward moment of silence.... Then she asked what I was listening to cuz I had my headphones on but they weren't plugged into anything-i had just finished listening to another student play so that's why I still had them on with the adapter at the end (you can plug in two adapters to the keyboards so that the teacher can hear you play. Anyway, i gotta get to japanese class. Ciao!

]]> ~WinterMoonSnow http://WinterMoonSnow.deviantart.com/journal/21210287/ http://WinterMoonSnow.deviantart.com/journal/21210287/ Tue, 28 Oct 2008 22:43:43 PDT
What else was I going to say...? Oh yeah! the 5th DVD boxset for The L Word came out today so I headed to Target early this morning to purchase it. It was killing me to wait-I'm so happy! This series kicks major ass! Cept I was watching it and forgot Lindsay was coming over to pick up my Pikachu Kigurumi and so I had put it on pause and she asked what I was watching and I had to explain the show and it was kinda embarassing. Apparently Lucy Lawless of Xena: Warrior princess fame is supposed to be in an episode of The L Word's 6th season, which I'd have to wait forever to watch since I don't have Showtime T_T...

I have love for a new musician, Nanne Grönvall, the woman whose song "Hall Om Mig" was used in the AMV someone made for princess Tutu. The video is what made me want to watch the series. I watched a live performance of Nanne performing this song. She's hott and has such a powerful voice! I love how she dances. I started looking at her other videos too.

That's it for now. Gonna go watch some L word before going to sleep cuz I'm too tired to practice piano...and i'm supposed to knoew 3 songs for tomorrow...I'm terrible...but I'm also trying to get back in the swing of school after having not gone for a semester and there's all this shit going on and I'm just...frustrated...

]]> ~WinterMoonSnow http://WinterMoonSnow.deviantart.com/journal/21072730/ http://WinterMoonSnow.deviantart.com/journal/21072730/ Mon, 20 Oct 2008 00:30:30 PDT .< hahha. I just seem to be a butterfingers lately >.< grr! It was an okay movie. It was confusing sometimes, not knowing who was on whose side in the film and it ended rather abruplty with much to be desired, unanswered questions. Afterward we went to a nearby coffee shop and sat outside. I ordered something called nitty gritty kitty and we drank outside. It was strong and bitter at first but the more I drank the more I got used to the taste. We talked about stuff and I heard someone playing guitar and talkign in a nearby bar and he asked if I wanted to go inside so we did. This guy was so amazing! OMG he sang Johnny cahs's "ring of fire" and it kicked major ass! I forgot what he calls himself...something ripoff...anyway, I would've gone up there to sing had I known something to sing....afterward we visited Liz's house and watched a bit of Dodgeball with the family before he and Suzanna dropped me off at my place.

And omg! I got home to check my e-mail to see that the music God responded to another e-mail I sent just yesterday! I informed him of my choir's performance for next year at carnegie hall. He said congrats and that I beat him and that he'd love to see it if he's in town. YAY! I'm gonna tell Vienna and Amber about it too once I go to the December show (still must arrange getting there...mostly likely amtrak...) OMG! I'm so happy Amber is opening for Vienna! I've been dying to meet her since forever. All my heroes in one place at the same time! WAaah XD least I hope she stays after she opens. I'm trying to write her a song...it's titled "Gifts from an explorer". I can't remember the first title (which was actually just one word) that I had thought of but I came up with this one that I find more fitting.

Well, I'm tired and I have some homework to finish and it's getting late, so ciao! ^___^ hoo hoo yah! hmm...was that it? the thing i sued to open with in my earlier journal entries? maybe it was hey-hey hoo! All I know is I stole it from one of Hayashibara Megumi's voice roles, Lina Inverse if I'm not mistaken....

how come thse stupid emoticons on DA don't work anymore! It also pisses me off that I can't change my avatar...it never fucking loads! aaag! oh well...

]]> ~WinterMoonSnow http://WinterMoonSnow.deviantart.com/journal/20978524/ http://WinterMoonSnow.deviantart.com/journal/20978524/ Mon, 13 Oct 2008 22:38:11 PDT
]]> ~WinterMoonSnow http://WinterMoonSnow.deviantart.com/journal/20946056/ http://WinterMoonSnow.deviantart.com/journal/20946056/ Sun, 12 Oct 2008 00:28:33 PDT
]]> ~WinterMoonSnow http://WinterMoonSnow.deviantart.com/journal/20892540/ http://WinterMoonSnow.deviantart.com/journal/20892540/ Wed, 08 Oct 2008 15:52:33 PDT
After a long....*counts fingers* 2-3 years...I received an e-mail from Devon Copley!, a hero who I admire about as much as I admire Alex, though I don't talk about him nearly as much. I secretly listen to his PLATONICA album (back when he was in a band called The Pasties) and swoon over his voice. It feels like it's been even longer since I last saw him ....the night of the concert where he (in the Animators) opened for Vienna Teng at the Montgomery Theatre...I'd been working on a song for him but I haven't written much for the lyrics...and having trouble transitioning into the bridge from the verses as far as instrumental arrangement goes...but someday i'd like to finish this song and give it to him. I've been thinking of writing a song for Amber Rubarth someday too, if I can figure something out. I had a title a while back but I lost it...it was gonna be an instrumental most likely...


*sigh* Back to school. Ah how I dreaded this...while I was away there was a Japanese kanji quiz...and I have 4 piano pieces to learn by the end of the month. I'm tired practically of the time these days, with work and school...not to mention some of my hours at work have been cute beyond what I had to cut myself because of school and I can't afford too much cuts or I can't pay for carnegie Hall + voice lessons + bills. I've cried a lot the past few weeks worrying about wtf I'm going to do about everything. I've been trying to think of things I could sell to get some money to save up but...some of the more expensive things are harder to sell than I thought.

I've pretty much felt small ever since school started. A lot of the people in my music classes appear to have been doing their craft for such a long time...I now really regret having quit piano many years ago. I thought about how back then I was actually really learning and now I barely have time to practice...I've hardly practiced at home since starting that class...I'm getting by, but that's what I normally do, I get by...They put the fingering nubmers in the book so unless you blot them out you get used to reading where your fingers go which doesn't help you to learn...i've been meaning to blot them out but i don't have anything at the moment with which to do so. anyway...i'm not really learning, i'm just getting by with the fingerings...and i'm doing bad in japanese...i'm not taking time to study much...and with all the talking I or others others do in class I can't concentrate well...choir is probably the only class going well right now. I'm starting to memorize the songs well. My only problems are trying to hit some of the higher soprano notes without my throat/voice tightening...I'm really terrible with projection and breathing...and it's even worse when I'm nervous, like when I'm in applied music class. I've performed once so far and you need to perform 2-4 times...and at the end of the semester you perform for what's called a jury....I did a Japanese song the first time (duh, right? go ahead and say it...) and I was working on a new song with Chizuko-chan who was to accompany on piano but...we found out vocal majors can't do songs other than latin origins so...it really pisses me off. practiced for nothing and then...i felt so embarassed beacuse when the teacher was going over the syllabus with us he had mentioned my name saying I did a lovely Japanese song but that I can't do those kinds of songs anymore. He basically at the beginning didn't know and was letting us do what we wanted but found out we can't...i find it really upsetting...i hate being limited. Since i just started vocal lessons I don't have anything that the teacher and I are working on in terms of songs...which is why I chose the song Id id...i knew i had to perform something eventually and yeah...*sigh* and i'm terrified now to go up there and get the constructive criticism that he's having students give to help us...because i already know what they'll say beacuse i already know what my problems are..i.'m just starting out though...and I can't project or breathe well...i try to do the things i've learned so far in voice class but it's not working....if I had a microphone (which we don't in class...we're apparently not allowed to use them) it would be easier for me to sing....I fear I'm wasting all this money on vocal lessons and not actually benefiting from it...i mean i have to do this for 4 semesters....and maybe i'm just being negative right now without really trying....i figure i'd be like Vienna...w... ]]> ~WinterMoonSnow http://WinterMoonSnow.deviantart.com/journal/20715479/ http://WinterMoonSnow.deviantart.com/journal/20715479/ Sun, 28 Sep 2008 01:21:20 PDT .> ...Anyway, I'm just glad she's safe. She's just really great to have around when I'm feeling lonely. I noticed the werid mark on her face dissapeard O_o it was clear, but annoying none-the-less. I'm glad its' gone though. Now if only I could solve the issue as to why her head isn't so stable on her neck. If I have the time, I'm making her a prince Edward costume to go along with my princess Giselle costume for Halloween. ^__^

The other day was my co-worker Liz's b-day but she didn't show up to work for family related reasons and I wasn't able to give her the strawberry cookies I made. She told me how her brother wanted to steal some hahha...so I was putting a few aside for him as well so he wouldn't do so. She's made it clear to me on more than one occasion that he's interested in me, and I won't tell her because I'm scared, but if he were to ask me out I wouldn't say no. I'm not trying to be the one to make moves this time around. I told myself though that I was going to focus all my energy into music/school this time around and not care too much about people, in general-this includes friends. This is why I'm never on AIM: beacuse nobody will talk to me for more than 10 minutes (if i'm that lucky. peole witll talk with me for a few, the occasion how are you etc....and then they just stop talking. I'll try and say stuff but I can't keep a conversation so I've just pretty much given up all hope) or nobody's on when I'm on, and talking to the same one person all the time (no offense) gets boring after a while. I'm still partially anti-social. Though I've made a nice amount of music-loving acquantances at school. I pretty much am just talking to people I see at school and not going out of my way to contact anyone. Plus the more I work on things the more I don't have time to think about being lonely and other stupid shit.

Most of my week has been devoted to my Giselle costume, even more so than schoolwork and I'm starting to hate myself for that. I told myself I was going to try hard this semster goddamit! I wanna get as much done as possible though. I've made the dress-sewn the 7 panels together, gittler-glued on the designs, hand-sewed strings of pearls and irridescent sequin flowers, and glittering gimp...gawd, this thing is so fucking time-consuming but I'm really loveing how it's turning out. My only dreading is the fucking ruffles. They run vertically which I'm still trying to figure out how the fuck to make them do what they do. Someone said something about cutting out free-hand circles to maybe I'll give that a try... I really wanna get the sleeves over with cuz they're fucking huge (as big as my head if not a bit bigger) and I'm trying to figure out how to work the pattern. The ONLY parts of this custome where a pattern was used are the sleeves and the bust part of the bodice. Everything else was drafted by yours truly. I'm waiting on the shoes and jewelry. Haven't ordered a wig yet but want to do so soon cuz halloween'll be here before I know it. Her hair is a strawberry-blonde but I have no idea how that would look on an African American so I'm debating on goign with her hair style in black instead to look more natural? *shrug*

Today was a very shitty day (and I mean this quite literally). First of all let me reiterate what's said by chicks all over the world once a month...being a girl fucking sucks! I felt terrible almost the entire day. From the moment I woke up I had killer cramps...My back was in pain, I felt very weak, and I felt so nautious that I couldn't eat anything for 5 fucking hours....I wanted to call in sick for work but because a) I need the money for expenses and b)my boss would kill me I opted not to. I napped/lyed around and eventually was feeling good enough to actually move around....I walked to work as I always do, but with my still-nameless Moi-meme moitie parasol beacuse it was a very sunny day and I broke my effing sunglasses 2 weeks ago T_T...when I got there I thought I'd be fine but as I stood at the register trying to ring up people I seriously thought I was going to faint, or quite possibly vomit all over the counter....Rose, being the good-at-he... ]]> ~WinterMoonSnow http://WinterMoonSnow.deviantart.com/journal/20415394/ http://WinterMoonSnow.deviantart.com/journal/20415394/ Tue, 09 Sep 2008 22:31:49 PDT
I'm fucking sick of work. Stupid co-workers...I shodultn' have become a supervisor...nobody wants to do their fucking job or listen to me. ....Rose can go to hell...Thank the demon lord I'm not working tomorrow...

My flytrap is dying. It seems everytime I feed it, the trap that I feed ends up rotting...fuck..i knew i shoudln't ahve gbought this thing..i knew i was goign to suck at this....

what am i doing....I feel lost again...i was going to be positive...i was going to try really hard but i'm getting that horrible feeling again of school just not being for me...i've never ever followed through with anything...aside from all the music classes i need to take for my major...I still have the general ed stuff...i'mg oing to be stuck at this JC for eternity...i'll be there at least another 2-3 years....*sigh* but I do wanna find out waht college Alex went to....maybe it'll motivate me to really try and get into that...*shrug*...

the choir is supposed to perform at carnegie hall in new york in june 2009...dunno if i wanna save for it or not...$1,691...sounds like a great opportunity...would look good on my application...it's just ehy want 200 before october 7th...i can probably swing it...*shrug*....

I'm such a fucking screw-up...i would practice piano right now if it weren't for the fact that i'm so depressed that i won't be able to focus...and i'm tired...maybe after class tomrorow i'll stay at school and go to a practice room...

]]> ~WinterMoonSnow http://WinterMoonSnow.deviantart.com/journal/20381724/ http://WinterMoonSnow.deviantart.com/journal/20381724/ Sun, 07 Sep 2008 19:37:11 PDT
And now i'm tired...gonna eat and rest before i prractice my piano homework. finally found the chord to plug it into the wall last night so the keyboard is up and running! w00t w00t!

]]> ~WinterMoonSnow http://WinterMoonSnow.deviantart.com/journal/20316707/ http://WinterMoonSnow.deviantart.com/journal/20316707/ Wed, 03 Sep 2008 22:20:42 PDT He reminds me of a young Justin Timberlake...he sits right across from me hahha. So ther's him, Kareem (sp?) and Bobby who sit near me. I ended up going to the music majors meeting and ran into Peter who i hadn't seen since the previous semseter. Was good to see him! ^__^ Matt went to it too and later on while hanging in the hallway I met some other people. This Japanese guy named Taihei (i think that's his name) he was telling me to drop Japanese cuz he could teach me, lol. I feel so old...he and Matt are both freshies! I also saw peeps that i'd always see in the music building last semester and I signed out a form to audition for the masterworks choral. In the music majors meeting they were saying you need to take 4 semesters of ensemble classes in conjuction with the other music classes. The masterworks class would count for that so I'm auditiong friday morning before I go to work. I'm so excited! I pretty much just hung out with Taihei and Matt till Japanese class started. I showed them where the bookstore was along the way and ran into Vash (i can't remember his real name now) since he wroks in the bookstore. He was just getting off before having to go to class so we got to talk a bit. Me and taihei and matt went to the practice rooms and I found out that song playing earlier was Taihei! playing the theme to laputa castle in the sky and bach's "invention"....we heard someone playing violin in the room next door and pressed our ears against the walls to hear. Taihei kept saying how it was sexy, lol. I swear though, music is orgasmic. There's nothign better than going to a live concert.

Japanese class was cool. Saw some old friends and made a few new onse. This one korean girl named Alicia is a gyaru! My first suspicion was the fact that she had a Liz Lisa bag (that's a popular gyaru brand) and that her hair was blonde...then the fact that she had one of those brand-name bag knock-offs (something like louis vuitton but the gyaru in japan usually have the real stuff since they get the funds through enjo-kosai/subsidized dating). I was really shocked because she rocked the look perfectly and she was even doing her make-up in class XD she even wears those now famous circle lenses that make your eyes look bigger! Her hair is even died blonde! She's so pretty. She looked familiar...she and her firend...and her friend asked me if i worked at the fabric store hhahah so basically i'd seen them come into my store before hahaha. I felt werid cuz I kept staring at them during class and I didn't want them to think i was a weirdo but once i was able to actually talk to them things went just fine. I think Alicia said she was born in Osaka or lived there for a while. She speaks Japanese very well! Before speaking to her I wasn't sure what nationality she was. GAwd i'm rusty in japanese and we were geoing over this new stuff and my brain totally fried! It was overwhelming today.

i forgot my lunch at home so i'm eating it now even though starting from today i didn't want to eat after 7pm....

Buttermilk bread fucking rocks!
~WinterMoonSnow http://WinterMoonSnow.deviantart.com/journal/19908921/ http://WinterMoonSnow.deviantart.com/journal/19908921/ Tue, 12 Aug 2008 02:53:31 PDT I've been lately thinking "Hmm...if I were to perform with piano on stage, what would I wear?" So I've slowly been collecting cute/pretty clothes that I could wear for such a thing, but is also suitable for work or for any nice outing. I didn't go back to sleep and started working on my Giselle costume at 8AM. I didn't stop till about 2pm when I finally showered and walked to the mall. I barely ate today either. Once I get really involved in something it's really hard for me to want to stop and do anything else. So once at the mall I stopped by my store to buy some fabric to make Mel a JSK. I was shocked because my boss was closing and she NEVER closes! But she said they're having her do that too now. She lives all the way in Fresno! I said hi to Liz, too. I was going to go and read some stuff in Barnes and Noble but Lindsay called me and we hadn't seen each other in ages. She said she was in the area and asked if I watned to hang out, so I went to Barnes and Noble to wait for her. I saw an employee I once worked with at Target there and started talking to her, which didn't end till Lindsay came. It was nice ^_^ Lindsay and I went to Mitsuwa, where I got inari sushi, and Jun-san was working at miyabi-tei today so being the sweetie he is, he gave us free soda. I love Jun-san! I should maek him cookies sometime! Whenever I dress in lolita or decora or any of that he always has me turn around and model for him, lol. He commented on how cute my outfit was today and another customer nearby jokingly said to him "She's too young for you!" lol. Afterward, we headed back to my house, ate our food, played some Sonic and tales 2, then went to Valley fair and looked at shoes and bags. I found some cute black loliable socks...but I really need white...the blacks were temping though, only $7! But I didtn' want to spend too much money...I didn't get them but if i go back there again soon I'll def. pick them up, beacuse I only have one pair of black lolita socks and right now theyr'e somewhere away in storage i believe >.< and it's always good to have more than one pair of socks and good variety. I'm slowly trying to build up my lolita accessories.

Ceci Outlet is closing and I finally found that corset I'd seen a few days ago so i'm hoping to try on on tomrorow and buy it. I really wanan try my hand at Ero-loli (erotic lolita) sometime. Also while looking in the gothic and lolita book, I was inspired by a particular outfit I saw.

I just finished a super mario skirt! THe fabric itself is called "Star Power" and it's a blue (aqua? i dunno my shades...) background with red turtle shells, bombs, stars, 1-ups, star power, and green mushrooms all over it. At first I had a hard time deciding what to make...and then I thought to make it in the style of Angelic Pretty's melody doll dress...and then since I coudln't really make up my mind I decided I'd make it a two-piece instead of a one-piece, so that way it could be more versatile and I could wear the skirt with other tops if I wanted. I put pockets in it! It's so awesome! So I was trying it on with my black blouse and then I got the idea to make it an underbust type of outfit. So I'm going to make a part for that. I'm debating on also making a matching tie and jabot. For headgear i might make a headdress...since I haven't made one of those in ages. I'm really into wearing bows though-maybe i'll do both..we'll see! I'm so excited to finish this! I'm so avoiding the Giselle dress. But I spent so much time this morning altering the pattern, cutting out the fabrica nd piece it all togehter T_T so I needed a break.

All, right i really gotta sleep...it's already almost 3 and I've only had friggin 4-5 hours of sleep...don't eral... ]]> ~WinterMoonSnow http://WinterMoonSnow.deviantart.com/journal/19871899/ http://WinterMoonSnow.deviantart.com/journal/19871899/ Sun, 10 Aug 2008 01:01:19 PDT
Kami-sama, Bodhisattva, Buddha, Great Demon Lord...please...ah shit I forgot what I wanted...

]]> ~WinterMoonSnow http://WinterMoonSnow.deviantart.com/journal/19871769/ http://WinterMoonSnow.deviantart.com/journal/19871769/ Sun, 10 Aug 2008 00:44:36 PDT
I had big plans for today but I got too tired.

Started out the day with the usual morning routine-get out of bed, shower, etc...I decided I wanted to go to the mall for a few hours before working on my Giselle costume. I grabbed the last remaining two daifoku which I'd forgotten were in the fridge (they were both kuro goma-black sesame, i love sesame flavor) for breakfast. On the way to the mall I headed over to the post office to mail off a package (it wasn't open and it was like...10 AM! but they had where you could "self-checkout" and send the package yourself. That was my first time ever using it. After that I went to the drycleaners to pick up my lolita dresses. I was very happy with the condition, cept the lace on my AP strawberry dress folded over on itself >.>.... I think I now know what kinda lolita dresses I should buy so that I can take 'em to the drycleaners. I'd rather do that than to have to wash things by hand (which I think doesn't really CLEAN them). No more black and white for me, since I had a terrible thing happen last time >.> and cuz I really don't need more black and white in my wardrobe, gawsh!

When I got to the mall I went to the fabric store first thing to get some Simplicity patterns since they're only $1 right now. And I got a huge bag with which to carry my drycleaning. I then headed over to CeCi outlet to try some stuff on...but I didn't like any of it. Eeek >.< They're closing so everything is 40% off. I'm scared to know what kinda store will replace it. Anyway, I then proceeded to Barnes and Noble. I'm pissed cuz they moved the manga section and it seems liek they're missing so much shit since then wtf? I got into a new manga the last time I visited-it's called Yours and my secret a.k.a My Barbaric Girlfriend. I found scanlations online and was reading it nonstop. I've been reading manga as opposed to watching Anime these days. I read some Negima too, i'm hella behind. But more about today! I went to look at the Gothic Lolita Bibles and Gothic and Lolita book for some inspiration on what kinda dress I should make out of my Super Mario "star power" fabric (that's what it was called on the receipt). It's got mushrooms, 1-ups, stars, turtles, and bombs. Anyway, as I was walking over to a bench to sit down I noticed this magaizne callded Curve and Leisha Hailey who places Alice Piazeki from The L Word was on the cover! I was so stoked! Her along with this other girl...they've formed a band called Uh-Huh Her. I wanna give them a listen sometime. I'm assuming Leisha is no longer in the L Word gawd...and she's my 2nd favorite! It said in the mag that she realized how much she missed music. While reading this mag I discovered the most amazing thing...a device for women that allows them to pee while standing up XD I thought "OMG I have to fucking try this!" Seriously, what woman doesn't want to try to pee standing up? XD It's for if your'e ina porter potty or any bathroom where you don't wanna sit down or for if you're out camping. I'll buy one in the near future and tell you if it's all right or not. I then proceeded to Target to do some bra shopping. It is ridiculously hard to find bras in my size!! What sux is that you can't even get the cute bras in my size! >.< FUCK YOU WORLD! I finally found something nice though. What I don't like though is that a lot of the bras are padded and I think it makes a really funny shape. Plus, if I wear it underneath a T-shirt you can totally see through it! >.< The non-padded underwire ones are perfect! But hard to find >.< OMGWTF BBQ CHICKEN!

On my way home there was this guy who I saw again who works at the container store. I stopped to talk to him cuz he said something but since I was lietning to my music didnt' cath it so stopped to take out my headphones and see what he said. He noticed my shirt had music notes on it and was telling me how he liked music and he asked where I got it. I started telling him about my awesome treble cleff clock ...and then I wondered as I left why I didn't possibly try to get his info...*shrug* it was kinda awkward...I think sometimes I've really forgotten how to talk to people. I raelly wish I could've worn lolita today, ors ometh... ]]> ~WinterMoonSnow http://WinterMoonSnow.deviantart.com/journal/19871746/ http://WinterMoonSnow.deviantart.com/journal/19871746/ Sun, 10 Aug 2008 00:41:24 PDT
]]> ~WinterMoonSnow http://WinterMoonSnow.deviantart.com/journal/19570093/ http://WinterMoonSnow.deviantart.com/journal/19570093/ Thu, 24 Jul 2008 09:51:37 PDT
So eventually I got to work and Shirly, a customer who used to come in every weekend showed up! I admit, I kinda missed her after the months that she didn't appear. I noticed she had a cast on her arm and I asked what happened and she said that she had a tumor in her wrist that was surgically removed. She said the reason she hadn't come in for a while is because she was going through a lot of stuff. She seems to be doing pretty well now though, she was asking me about knitting classes. She said she'd be in again the following weekend cuz she had a coupon and was gonna buy stuff.

Later on, Karen, my sewing teacher from last semester came in! I noticed she had purple in her hair! But it was just a little bit in the front. She told me I should've seen her before when the whole thing was purple, haha. Wish I could've >.< She introduced me to her husband.

And now I'm just really glad that inventory is over! Tuesday was the last day woo! I'm glad it only happens once a year. The store is full of people from Express who come and help us with measuring the fabrics and auditing. Other than that, work's been real annoying. Paul's been very immature and annoying lately and it's really bugging me. >.< I keep hoping things will improve, but who knows.

In other news, been trying to work on a new song which I'm writing about Devon, cuz I seriously miss that man and wonder if he's back in America yet and what he's up to. Slowly my mind is forming the arrangement for instruments and i'm started to get really excited about composing it. I've started a little, but have been a bit lazy, since I've always been going to work 1-9:30 and having to get up at like...9 or 10. I like when I have a lot of time to work on something as opposed to just a few hours. I'll be working on the song until I can obtain more things for my Giselle costume and until I can get the hoop petticoat with which to help me construct the pattern for the dress. I'm debating on whether or not I should request Halloween off...

]]> ~WinterMoonSnow