http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:Wyvern-Elavie&section=today deviantART RSS for by:Wyvern-Elavie en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Sun, 20 Dec 2009 07:30:38 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://Wyvern-Elavie.deviantart.com/journal/21490897/ http://Wyvern-Elavie.deviantart.com/journal/21490897/ Fri, 14 Nov 2008 19:38:12 PST This is the journal entry pertaining to the rules of simplyMPthree, a music chatroom.

Rules and Such
1. dAmn rules come first. read those.
2. respect everyone. a little teasing is okay, but i don't want anything getting out of hand, especially when it comes to stereotyping. "i hate emos" will get you kicked. "i don't like emos because [insert something without swearing that will go into a nice debate]" is okay.
3. swearing. it's okay, but don't overuse it. "fuckityfuckfuckfuckfuck" will get you kicked.
4. don't take anything personally. if you get offended here, that's your fault for taking it that way. you're staring at a computer screen. this is not your life.
5. ask moderators before posting links.
6. don't spam -_- "oook" is acceptable. "oooooohmygod" is not.
7. limit your caps to three words. "OHMYGOD" is three words.
8. ALL music genres are welcome. classical, ska, blackmetal, blackmetal opera, r&b, emo, acid rock, whatever.

Mod Rules: Yes. These are Necessary.
1. Do not abuse power. Simple.
2. If there are constant reports of abusing power from legitimate sources, a 6/10 majority against the questioned may demote said moderator.
3. it is okay to tease the noobs. however, don't make them cry, jeeez. X)
4. i'll add more when i think of something.

tell a mod (RockStarFamous or theOGsuckahz) when you've finished reading and you'll be ok. if you want. go read the "Other Stuff" which is right below the rules.

Other Stuff
theOGsuckahz: The founders.
RockStarFamous: The mods.
Scherzando: If you get it, you know it. You're in. If you want it.
intheSCENE: People intheSCENE are in the scene. You've got to know your stuff and your strut.
THEstage: Entertain me. Sing me a lullaby, and then I'll sleep.
HSCliques: They belong and that's all it is.
TheAudience: Welcome, kids. Join the show.
FallingOut: The band broke up. And guess what? That groupie never liked you anyways.

]]> ~Wyvern-Elavie http://Wyvern-Elavie.deviantart.com/journal/20540348/ http://Wyvern-Elavie.deviantart.com/journal/20540348/ Wed, 17 Sep 2008 16:06:53 PDT Well. Tomorrow, at any rate.

SO. I'm pretty damn excited. I mean, Dev. Appreciation Day today, Birthday tomorrow. The Join-A-Club fair was today (and on Monday), and I was sporting some kickass orange shuttershades (courtesy of the dear Claire the Pear).

Anyways.
In honor of my birfday and Deviant Appreciation Day, I will give flash fiction or a poem to whoever asks in a manner of their choosing. So if you pick flash fiction, you give me a certain plot or character or whatever, and I'll do it. For poem, a subject or a certain poetry element or random challenge thing.

Or you could give me freelance-ness and just have me write about snakes, pink ties, Brahman, and a plastic bag all in one little thing XDD

Check out my new devs, yeah? Musings on Two Boys. Which should be known as An English Assignment Gone Wrong. Haha. And then that thing for you guys Hearts. With Each of your names in it. yess. All you watchers and stuff and those I watch. <3 yoo.

SEE THE SQUEE.
I wrote half a song just by looking at this picture.
I'm an angsty child. It's all DeathCab-ish and angsty, but with piano and more estrogen.

]]> ~Wyvern-Elavie http://Wyvern-Elavie.deviantart.com/journal/20364071/ http://Wyvern-Elavie.deviantart.com/journal/20364071/ Sat, 06 Sep 2008 19:53:47 PDT So the last one was happy birfday, this one has happy birfday, and the next one probably will be a happy birfday.

HINTHINT.

Charles from Honeydew Syndrome had a birfday not just TWENTY-FOUR hours ago. My AIM sn? (See below stuffs) That was inspired by THAT GUY. Charles, here's my happy birthday to you!

Ironically, the thing preventing me from making anything to commemorate this lovely event is his favorite (not) subject--chemistry. boo.

Anyways.
I've been busy!
Or rather... bored.
Look to the left and check Pulse and it's counterpart Pulse with Text, Stop Look Listen, and Grr.

Met up with some kids from bootcamp, but our metro-man of awesomeness couldn't come because he didn't answer our company commander's facebook message oh well.

ok. so I'm being Hindi for my Major Religions class, and I'm going vegetarian. And it's freaking *Great*.
I feel cleaner and healthier and I get full more easily. It's kind of glorious.

]]> ~Wyvern-Elavie http://Wyvern-Elavie.deviantart.com/journal/19887963/ http://Wyvern-Elavie.deviantart.com/journal/19887963/ Sun, 10 Aug 2008 22:54:59 PDT
anyways. got checked out by a random emo kid in front of seafood city, vallejo. it was kind of cute. because he was staring at me. and i just sort of stared back. and then he passed by the pillar that was between us and stopped looking. so whatever.

AND THEN AND THEN AND THEN AND THEN AND THEN

there was this TOTALLY BISHONEN WAITER.
He had brown fairly long layered hair that just barely reached past his shoulder and pale skin. He smiled a lot when he was taking the orders and talked in a quite low and quiet voice, as if he was just getting used to the job. He spoke in fluent tagalog to the parents, who he knew would be familiar with the old language. To the younger and Americanized ones like me, he watered down the names of the dishes to English, so as to not confuse us with its contents.

I counteracted that by asking my sister if she wanted the pancit or the crispy pata. I *can* pronounce my flip food correctly, at the very least.

Anyways. The SuperNiceSeme of doom was cute. And he opened the door for me as I left. And while we were outside he was kind of staring at me. But only because I was kind of staring at him.

But the plotlines in my head are forming for this SUPERNICEWAITEROFDOOM.

And I only have 20 pages of zorro left to annotate X) -SQUEE-

Lavi's birthday brings much love to my little heart.

Uploading FIRST PAGE of webcomic tomorrow and a gift pic for ~FgtronicColors

And I love bashers.
Why do I love bashers?
Because I bitch back.
heeheeee. it's kind of a sadist thing.
I like seeing other people wrong when I'm right.
It's a bad thing, I know.

]]> ~Wyvern-Elavie http://Wyvern-Elavie.deviantart.com/journal/19849326/ http://Wyvern-Elavie.deviantart.com/journal/19849326/ Fri, 08 Aug 2008 16:59:16 PDT
But with my school schedule and my extracurricular courses, I'm going to have to shape up. After all, AP Statistics, AP USHistory, AP Chemistry, Honors English, Honor Choir, CM Piano testing, Composing, Church Piano,

and a webcomic.



that's right, ladies and gentlemen. I'm thinking of starting a webcomic. And original and actual shonen-ai webcomic.

It's probably going to suck ass.

Haha.

I have most of the character profiles down in writing, and the plot is forming quite well in my head.

Because my scanner sucks ass and is downstairs and i'm quite lazy, i took pictures of the characters so far. they're backwards because mac is backwards. deal bitches.
Alex Cassingham: [link]
Jeremy Goodsworth: [link]
Jean Lefitte: [link]
Alex Kholburg: [link]

]]> ~Wyvern-Elavie http://Wyvern-Elavie.deviantart.com/journal/19743361/ http://Wyvern-Elavie.deviantart.com/journal/19743361/ Sat, 02 Aug 2008 21:43:24 PDT
It's true.

I hate ~FgtronicColors.

Stupid tag-things.

X) heehee.


* 1. Post these rules.
* 2. Each tagged person must post 8 things about themselves on their journal.
* 3. At the end, you have to choose and tag 8 people and post their icons on the same journal.
* 4. Go to their pages and send a message saying you tagged them.
* 5. No tag-backs

1) I survived a 2 week boot camp.
2) I have amazingly sensitive skin.
3) I'm tired of water. Dammit.
4) I once had a bad skin reaction to IHOP cheese.
5) I get easily distracted by things like this.
6) My feet are cold.
7) My hair has been compared to a troll doll's
8) I am enamored by guys that can sing.

There. Merry Christmas. The end.
STOP BOTHERING ME. I DON'T EVEN LIKE YOU.

These things accelerate my life.

Edit:
Oops. Forgot to tag.

And because I'm a lazy evil person like that, I'm tagging the first three who commented X)




and yes, Mountan, this means you have to do SIXTEEN. MWAHAHAHAHHAH.
<.< Cereal and milk make me hyper.
[/edit]

----------

Anyways. I just got back from my two week boot camp. Crazy shit. There's a bunch of pictures somewhere or other. And I'll probably edit a few of them myself once I get the CD full of them (which will be in September-ish).

It's been gross.
American food, American food, American food.

And the Asian egg roll they tried to imitate came out as well as putting a burrito in the microwave set for 50 minutes.
And the imitation Mex food tasted like shit too.

BUT. I survived running a mile or two most days and such like that. which is AMAZING for me because I am NOT. IN. SHAPE. at all.

learned a few things about teamwork, navy-life, blah blah blah.
Military Propaganda can suck my pretend dick.

]]> ~Wyvern-Elavie http://Wyvern-Elavie.deviantart.com/journal/19312615/ http://Wyvern-Elavie.deviantart.com/journal/19312615/ Thu, 10 Jul 2008 14:35:31 PDT
GUESS WHAT...

I has a new ID X)
(Look Down )
(And if you can't see all of the pic or something... widen your screen. blah)

Umm... So I'm back.
Kind of.
I hope to be back permanently.
And life doesn't hit me so hard next time.
Stupid classes. -grumblegrumble-

Well, I'm off to a 2 week bootcamp in a little over a week. And I'm actually quite stoked about it. Granted, I'm also pissed because all the *goodbands* are coming here while I'm gone. (They did that too when I went to the Philippines... alskfja;lkdfj grah).

I've also got this new thing. Kind of new thing, The Gary-Stu AntiCliche Effect. Go check it out or something. It's over there. XP

Anyways.

Cookleta doesn't exist, Wolfram is the *real* hennachoko, and for about three days, I can honestly say my back was black. The world is pretty epic, yes.

oh. And check this out.
I think if I'd drank anything before seeing it, I'd have peed in my pants out of laughter.

]]> ~Wyvern-Elavie http://Wyvern-Elavie.deviantart.com/journal/18019563/ http://Wyvern-Elavie.deviantart.com/journal/18019563/ Fri, 25 Apr 2008 20:27:39 PDT I'll put pictures up later.
(Edit: I has picture nao --> [link])
All my teachers are going to be pissed.

And Happy Birthday to <3
Yes, I remembered in the middle of geometry.
I so fucking win!

In other news,
I'm taking a break from piano for eight weeks.
It's going to be... traumatizing.
But I think I need it.
I kind of lost interest in music because I never had TIME.
And it felt like shit when I did.
So yeah.
My life and love, piano. <3

Edit 2:
It's my dA birthday, bitches.
X3
Love me for it.
I guess I have ~redruM-110 to thank.
Because I looked at his journal.
And then looked at mine.
So happy belated dA birthday to him.
Damn. One year on this site.
And I'm not dead yet?
Shit. <3

]]> ~Wyvern-Elavie http://Wyvern-Elavie.deviantart.com/journal/17670572/ http://Wyvern-Elavie.deviantart.com/journal/17670572/ Thu, 03 Apr 2008 16:32:20 PDT
And now I'm kind of not.

Except I sort of am.

I kind of got a lot of deviations to sort through, so I'm leaving those to the summer. And I'll be updating my devs quite infrequently.

Anyways.

Ta.

]]> ~Wyvern-Elavie http://Wyvern-Elavie.deviantart.com/journal/16696457/ http://Wyvern-Elavie.deviantart.com/journal/16696457/ Sat, 02 Feb 2008 19:49:06 PST makethegreatescape are making a campaign to get me queen of the universe and her as princess.


Forget Barrack vs. Hillary and Sign the campaign in the comments!

lolz.

Board of Trustees
Demi-Dictator of Asia: Kuppatsu
cuddlyndangerous... something up here XD

Awesome Things
#TheEmoPalace
#TheBestCouch
HoneyDew Syndrome Webcomic
So Common So Cheap Webcomic


Sketches Still Open
The first 10 people who comment on this journal will get a sketch for a single character, free.
However, in return, you must offer 10 free sketches in your own journal.
If you've already done 10 free sketches (in a single page), put the link of the journal's entry in your comment... You're still qualify. *But, in this case, you can leave, if you want.*

MY RULES/it-things
>NO PR0NZ.
>It may take up to a week. I suck at drawing. Sometimes. X3
> Plz. Provide references? I probably won't know your character because I'm a sad little person like that.

1. Finished. See Scraps
2.
3. Numa
4. Finished. See Scraps
5. Chupacabra, Daniel Style XD
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.

]]> ~Wyvern-Elavie http://Wyvern-Elavie.deviantart.com/journal/16604843/ http://Wyvern-Elavie.deviantart.com/journal/16604843/ Sun, 27 Jan 2008 22:00:48 PST Ilweran Whose comic Boys, Be Ambitious is AWESOME. So go check it out. Except it's Shonen-ai. So beware of that.

The first 10 people who comment on this journal will get a sketch for a single character, free.
However, in return, you must offer 10 free sketches in your own journal.
If you've already done 10 free sketches (in a single page), put the link of the journal's entry in your comment... You're still qualify. *But, in this case, you can leave, if you want.*

MY RULES/it-things
>NO PR0NZ.
>It may take up to a week. I suck at drawing. Sometimes. X3
> Plz. Provide references? I probably won't know your character because I'm a sad little person like that.

1. (OC Davin)
2.
3.
4. (Wyv-Chu'd King Louis XIV)
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.

Comment away?

-------------------------------------

In other news,
1) Be happy. Don't die on us. By force or by choice. Plzkthx. I'd rather not cry and feel guilty about it. (If I need to guilt trip you into not dying, I fxxing will)
2) I gots a haircut :3 [link]

]]> ~Wyvern-Elavie http://Wyvern-Elavie.deviantart.com/journal/16569188/ http://Wyvern-Elavie.deviantart.com/journal/16569188/ Fri, 25 Jan 2008 16:18:54 PST SleepingShrew But I'm getting really lazy with my characters. XDDD

But I got two awesome ones for y'all.

1) Stolen from =lambchild Who has *awesome* DGM arts. And other arts too. Yum.

MEME:
Go to Wikipedia, and click on a random article. This is your band name.
Click it again, this is your album name.
Click it fifteen more times, and these are your track names.

Band Name: Bell (Crater) --that actually sounds kinda cool XD
Album Name: Farah Nasser --...o_0...

Track Names:
1. List of Indonesian Earthquakes
2. John Carolus
3. Quincy Municipal Airport
4. Charrat -- that's awesome
5. Bert Sutherland
6. Bajocian
7. Price Hill, West Virginia
8. Ronson System --Weaponry. XD
9. Brocard
10. Červený Kameň Castle
11. Mornington Island Airport --TWO Airports! w00t. XD
12. Gilbert Universalis
13. Disilane --
14. Ballinagar
15. Uke --O_O The best ending EVER. XDDD <3

With all the random boy's names, places, airports, and disasters, one would think Farrah was not a very nice (*cough* or chaste *cough) lady... But w/e. XD

Uke.


2) Stole this one from my LJ. A Harry Potter Meme.

Put your music player on random. List the first ten songs, which character they remind you of, and why. Then tag ten people.

1) Jolene by Queen Adreena: WTF? Jolene is hecka Ginny and Queen Adreena is Draco. Hands down. That's shmexy.

2) Drunks, Lovers, Sinners And Saints by Alexisonfire: Ron. The passion and raw-ness. Just... Ron.

3) Existentialism on Prom Night by Straylight Run: Sadly... Dumbledore and Grindelwald. "Sing me anything," "The delicate balance/Vulnerable all knowing," and "You would kill for this"... Sigh. It's a sad song.

4) Karasu by Dir En Grey: The Black Family. No doubt. Just in the extent that it is messed up. Or maybe Voldy. But that's only one line.

5) Studying Politics by Emery: It's kind of obvious, right? The Ministry of Magic and that lot...

6) We Can Work It Out by The Beatles: The Peace and Love Thing reminds me of Luna.. XDD <3 Or maybe Dumbledore...

7) Afterbirth by From First to Last: Sirius Black. 'Nuff said. Sigh. Mebbe Regulus. But more Sirius.

8) Rollover DJ by Jet: The Daily Prophet, with their fake-ness.

9) True Romance by Silverstein: It's like this angsty SB/RL fic I read once... where they never got together. Really angsty and stuff.

10) All I Ask of You (Reprise) from The Phantom of the Opera: Snape. Snape. Severus Snape. Jealous lover stuff. Poor Snapey-kins... but not really.


I TAG...

Whoever, actually. Idc. It's kinda fun though. XDDD

Oh. And one more thing...

<--SASUKE?!?!











]]> ~Wyvern-Elavie http://Wyvern-Elavie.deviantart.com/journal/16525509/ http://Wyvern-Elavie.deviantart.com/journal/16525509/ Tue, 22 Jan 2008 17:15:16 PST mother decided to care for once about what I do in my free time and took a peek at my supposedly non-existent myspace. Both of them. And, as mothers do when they realize their daughter has not exactly been honest, they get mad.

So I deleted my myspace. If you had added me before, I would ask that you do so again at my new page. Sorry for the inconvenience, but such is life.
It'll be the same layout as before, I think. But I dunno.

So AP forms were due today and I was so close to being late, I got really panicky about it in my already emotional state. And drama's been picking up between a couple of my "friends" and it's taking its toll on me. And something I did before has come to bite me back in the ass... Actually, a lot of things from before have already done that. But I'm just so pissed right now... GAH!

And it seems that when I talk around somewhere, when I want to say something that actually matters, I'm just the weird girl in the corner. Whatever comes out of my mouth is ignored and gibberish. Apparently, what I say doens't merit because what I say isn't like what everyone else is saying. Therefore, it should be said at all.

Pissed to the extent of multiple apologies,
AJ

Edit:

The awesome.
Why I choose to call myself an artist.
Where am I going with this. by ~blakadaver

]]> ~Wyvern-Elavie http://Wyvern-Elavie.deviantart.com/journal/16482802/ http://Wyvern-Elavie.deviantart.com/journal/16482802/ Sat, 19 Jan 2008 23:34:31 PST L of all people is like that.

Yeah. But like most of my openers, that's not the point.

Upon consideration (and a bit of being annoyed on my part), I'm doing a mass clean-up of my watch list. If I have noticed that you don't update as much, or I have lost interest in your art (because what's the point of keeping tabs on you if I don't appreciate the art or comment or something) I am removing you from my watch list. Please, do not take offense to this. I bet you have other watchers that love you and whatnot, and if you don't... well, either update something or go talk in the Chat rooms if you really want it that bad. Or you could be like ~redruM-110 and bother the n00bs. XDD

In other news, HoneySyn updated. And I soooo got it right. As well, Codename: Kids Next Door is having its series finale on Monday and I will be going through -even more than I already have- nostalgia.

Much love,
Amelia Jade

]]> ~Wyvern-Elavie http://Wyvern-Elavie.deviantart.com/journal/16361643/ http://Wyvern-Elavie.deviantart.com/journal/16361643/ Fri, 11 Jan 2008 18:02:17 PST
Turning negative things into positive things and then back to negative things again is better.

Way better.

I'm working on a deviation right now compiled of all the emo pictures I'm taking of myself from now until... whenever I stop. And once I stop. Or get to a hundred. Whichever comes first, I'm gonna compile them into something I have already titled "Regression."

Not sure if I should put the bad pictures, though... -is not narcissistic- *shot*

And I want to give a shout out to ~Philipinoguy because he kicked ~Kuppatsu off the watchers list. Which is awesome. Because well... XD Kame... XDDD

In other news, I actually started wearing pants again (instead of a skirt you perv!) and I'm debating on whether or not to cut my hair short and layer it instead of having it long and stuff...

And I was looking at Harvard applications, and in order for an AP class to count, you have to get a 5 on the AP test... Sigh. I have a flat B in AP Biology right now...
-feels like a failure-


Oh! And STORM HAWKS. I knew Canada was awesome for a reason. And this is it. It is the *awesomest* kids TV show EVER. (and I think Aerrow's hot, but that's beside the point. If I coult post an image here, I would so post that one pic with Stork as a Jester (or maybe the Pirate one), but for now, I'll give you the link to this icon: [link]
And if for some odd reason you're actually convinced to watch it, go here: [link]

STALKERS!
http://Wyvern-Elavie.deviantart.com/journal/16208152/ Tue, 01 Jan 2008 14:05:31 PST

I've had my ups and downs. And I had a hell of a lot of downs, especially over the summer. But I can't say that it didn't go without merit. From never-ending talks (and occaisional fights) with ~Kuppatsu to cutting off certain ties with old friends. I discovered who I am in terms of my present crowd and who I am not in terms of my past. J-rock has integrated in me and retarded-music has moved out. This past year was about setting my priorities straight, and 2008 is about actually following through with them (and if you know me, you know that I am *horrible* with following things through).

That's enough reflection. Gah. I'm eating *crabs* that are *good*. Which is kind of like fish. Which is even BETTER. But I'll settle for what I can get. (TBC joke).

Except I'm feeling disturbingly fat.

To Role-playing, webcomics, boredom, and delight, I give a toast to our years.

That was disturbingly sappy. Can we stop now?



STALKERS!



STALKEES!
~Wyvern-Elavie http://Wyvern-Elavie.deviantart.com/journal/16124544/ http://Wyvern-Elavie.deviantart.com/journal/16124544/ Thu, 27 Dec 2007 13:39:36 PST
Worst Case Scenario:
Mussaraf (spelling sucks, I know, deal for now) is in alliance with Al Qaeda or a part of it and will slowly incorporate Al Qaeda into his government under U.N.'s nose. After which, two things may happen: The first being he will remain in glory and attempt to take over the free world. The second being he will actually pretend to be overthrown by somebody who would appear good, but secretly be controlling, the new guy acting as a figurehead.

Then again, with the figurehead in place, Bush wouldn't be trapped in his alliance and pride crap.

But that's unlikely, considering the new election.

Change. Change.

Or this could just be me in my paranoia.


STALKERS!



STALKEES!
http://Wyvern-Elavie.deviantart.com/journal/16114148/ Wed, 26 Dec 2007 18:58:56 PST
But I am thinking of organizing a Rec List that separates my favorites into Good Fanart, Comics, and Good Literature. Just because... well... Yeah. I'm BOOOOORED.

So Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to y'all. Have a cookie.

And just for kicks, have another too.

STALKERS!



STALKEES!
~Wyvern-Elavie http://Wyvern-Elavie.deviantart.com/journal/15809628/ http://Wyvern-Elavie.deviantart.com/journal/15809628/ Wed, 05 Dec 2007 15:41:08 PST
Until. Until. Until.

I GOT INTO ALL STATE!!! And now I probably won't be able to sing because I've been yelling and screaming so much and the ecstaticness and yeah. Except it's in March so I'll have time to recover. XD

But for those of you who have read Pretty in Punk (it's my featured Dev), you'd realize that this means I'd get to see EMMA again.

Fate? Or mere coincidence?

So expect Emma stuff in March.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

SHOW ME YOUR STUFF

-If you wanna be featured, comment the journal with something along the lines of "i wanna be featured, sure yeah. mmhmm." And I will say "sure."
Note: limited to the first three to five people. Because I do have a life. That is comprised of AP Biology and currently Beowulf. (damn you, Beowulf!!!)
-I will pick three (or four depending on how awesome the stuff happens to be) of your deviations to feature in this journal, which will stay on this page for at least a month, yeah.
-It would be really nice to spread the love to your own journal. Y'know feature all the other artists that watch you and spend time commenting your art. Because is just one of those things, yeah.

And as a final note: TACKLEGLOMP!

So Here it Be-eth

redruM-110
Wicked awesome writer and one of my first watchers here on dA (go n00b forums!). He lives somewhere in the middle of England (Stoke-On-Trent to be more precise) and is generally the source of all this crazy chain like crap. He is also developing his skills at photography.
Drunk In the Woods Photography: A mishap turned awesome. Because the idea of a Hollywood movie effect recreation by a twenty-something odd with a camera and no sense of balance kicks some serious butt. And the picture's pretty cool too.
Masks Romantic Poetry: A little compare and contrast between two very different styles of romance, one a fairy tale and one not so much. But is just that universal.
Make Your Own Political Speech Satire: Funny little interactive Take Over the World Speech. Make your own. Get him some more comments, yeah?
Circus Mirrors Poetry: My personal favorite out of all of his works. A little angsty, but deep poetry about... well, what else do you see in a mirror?

cuddlyndangerous
New person I've watched and is watching me. Taken from ~redruM-110's Show Me Your Stuff. (See it does work!)
Random Poetry: Meter and rhythm set this poem on as bumpy a rollercoaster as the narrator's life suggests. With (even though it says she disagrees) an awesome ending.
Through His Eyes Romantic Poetry: She lists it under romantic, and indeed it is. But the poem has an almost ironic quality to it, which makes it all the more enticing. One long stanza of love.
Untitled3 Poetry: A little contemplative piece about the future and just how much control we have over it.

http://Wyvern-Elavie.deviantart.com/journal/15683549/ http://Wyvern-Elavie.deviantart.com/journal/15683549/ Mon, 03 Dec 2007 16:42:07 PST EDIT

Okay. So Show Me Your stuff was a total fail. Because well... I don't have that many watchers. XDDD And the only reason Kuppatsu had me feature her was because she was pitying me. (Ily2, Kame).

So anyways. I just ate McDonalds. And I feel as fat as hell. The only reason I ate McDonald's is because I didn't want my mother's hard work of going there to waste. Yeah. Being bulimic never felt so tempting.

So I'm gonna list random peoples and it-things now.

STALKERS!!!



STALKEES!!! (If you are above I am not putting you again. That is a waste of time and energy. Duh... Or if you don't update often, you won't be up here either -coughAndrewcough-)
http://Wyvern-Elavie.deviantart.com/journal/15394860/ Tue, 06 Nov 2007 16:32:23 PST
I should've thought to put an explanation for this sooner.

It hails from the Kiesha'ra book series, where I first heard the term Wyvern: a hybrid of snake and bird. [link] It looks a lot like a dragon, but with a longer and skinnier torso and tail. The Elavie portion simply means "shape-shifter." I was always fascinated by Oliza the Wyvern and the court she was raised to rule.

But my real favorite character is Hai, the falcon-cobra mongrel.

Literarily, Hai could be viewed as Oliza's counterpart. They both share similar bloodlines, are royalty, and are both bird-snake mixes. Furthermore, they both act as great balancing forces to their magic. (insert long explanation of Oliza's halves of Anhamirak and Hai's Ahnmik vs. Anhamirak here)

So... The book Wyvernhail, the last of the series, came out on September 15th. Because of my ever busy life (and my ever lazy ass), I didn't get the book until now.

I'm only five chapters in and I feel so elated. *squeal*

Expect lots of Wyvern Shapeshifter stuff soon XDDD

]]> ~Wyvern-Elavie http://Wyvern-Elavie.deviantart.com/journal/15304315/ http://Wyvern-Elavie.deviantart.com/journal/15304315/ Wed, 31 Oct 2007 15:32:55 PDT
I Hate . For multiple reasons. This being one of them. I tag ~A-D-K

Mark a X for every thing you done..
1. Smoked. [x] (once. never again. it's bad for you.)
2. Consumed alcohol. [x]
3. Slept in the same bed with someone of the opposite sex. [x] (relatives)
4. Slept in the same bed with someone of the same sex. [x] (friends. not a whore)
5. Kissed someone of the same sex. []
6. Had sex. [ ] (Haha. You're funny..)
7. Had someone in your room other than family. [x] Duh. Facking Kuppatsu.
8. Watched porn. [ ] (Technically...
9. Bought porn. [] (Why would I buy it when I can find it free?)
10. Done drugs. [x]
TOTAL SO FAR: 6

1. Taken painkillers. [x]
2. Taken someone else's prescription medicine. [x]
3. Lied to your parents. [x]
4. Lied to a friend. [x]
5. Been to rehab. [ ]
6. Done something illegal. [x]
7. Cut yourself. [x] (long time ago)
8. Hurt someone. [x]
9. Been to a club. []
10. Seen someone die. []
TOTAL SO FAR: 13

1. Missed curfew. [x]
2. Stayed out all night. [x]
3. Eaten a carton of ice cream by yourself. [x]
4. Been to a therapist. [ ] (That would be awesome.)
5. Snuck out of the house. []
6. Dyed your hair. []
7. Received a ticket. []
8. Been in an accident. []
9. Wished someone to die. [x]
10. Been to a bar. [x]
TOTAL SO FAR: 18

1. Been to a wild party. []
2. Been to a Mardi Gras parade. []
3. Drank more than four beers in a night. []
4. Had a spring break in Florida. []
5. Sniffed anything. [x]
6. Wore black nail polish. [x]
7. Wore arm bands. [x]
8. Wore t-shirts with band names. [x]
9. Listened to rap. [x]
10. Owned a 50 Cent CD. []
TOTAL SO FAR: 23

1. Dressed Gothic. [x] (what does this have to do with being a baddie?)
2. Dressed prep.[x]
3. Dressed punk. [x]
4. Dressed grunge. [x] (it's not that hard...)
TOTAL SO FAR: 27

5. Stole something. [x]
6. Been too drunk to remember anything. []
7. Blacked out. []
8. Fainted. []
9. Had a crush on a neighbor. [x]
TOTAL SO FAR: 29

1. Snuck into someone else's room. [x]
2. Had a crush on your friend. [x] (duh.)
3. Been to a concert. []
4. Dry-humped someone. []
5. Been called a slut. [x]
6. Called someone a slut. [x]
7. Installed speakers in your car.[]
8. Broken a mirror. [x] (twice.)
9. Showered at someone of the opposites sex's house. [x] (at my cousin's who really isn't my cousin but I say so since i'm the closest thing he has to a relative on his mom's side)
10. Brushed your teeth with someone else's toothbrush. [x]
TOTAL SO FAR: 36

1. Consider/considered Ludacris your favorite rapper. []
2. Seen an R-rated movie in theater. [x] (a few.)
3. Cruised the mall. []
4. Skipped school. [x]
5. Had surgery. []
6. Had an injury. []
7. Gone to court. []
8. Walked out of a restaurant without paying/tipping. [x]
9. Caught something on fire. [x]
10. Lied about your age. [x]
TOTAL SO FAR: 41 (this isn't a good score, is it?)

1. Owned/rented an apartment. []
2. Broke the law in the police's presence. []
3. Made out with someone who had a gf/bf. []
4. Got in trouble with the police. []
5. Talked to a stranger. [x]
6. Hugged a stranger. [x]
7. Kissed a stranger. []
8. Rode in the car with a stranger. [x]
9. Been harassed. [x]
10. Been verbally harassed. [x]
TOTAL SO FAR: 46

1. Met face-to-face with someone you met online. [ ] (Do I look like I'm that stupid?)
2. Stayed online for 5 hours straight. [x]
3. Talked on the phone for more than 4 hours straight. [x]
4. Watched TV for 5 hours straight. [x]
5. Been to a fair. [x]
6. Been called a bad influence. [x]
7. Drink and drive. []
8. Prank-called someone. [x]
9. Laid on a couch with someone of the opposite sex. [x] (Platonic, honeys. Purely platonic)
10. Cheated on a test. [x]

Grand total:54
-If You Have Less Then 10..write [I'm a Goody Goody.]
-If You Have More Than 10..write [I'm still a goody goody.]
-If You Have more Than 20..write [I'm average.]
-If You Have More Than 30..write [I'm a bad ki... ]]> ~Wyvern-Elavie http://Wyvern-Elavie.deviantart.com/journal/15189714/ http://Wyvern-Elavie.deviantart.com/journal/15189714/ Tue, 23 Oct 2007 15:15:13 PDT
Then again. It's not like I mind. XD <3 wuv Miyavi.

Anyways... I got accepted in to the chamber choir at my school and there's only four of us in the Women's choir and I sing Alto II, which is AWESOME because Alto II is usually WAY easier to sing than Alto I.

And I'm ALMOST done with this one song that was inspired by *takes a big breath* Final Fantasy 8, Sqeifer Fanfiction, Hamlet, Miyavi (duh), Gellertdore, the Iraq 'War,' Carly, videogames, KH, Axel/Roxas, the Dresden Dolls, My Chemical Romance, Beowulf/Grendel odd slash, Drarry, Jeannie, Obligations vs. Wants Temptations Dicussions, The Korean War, and Beowulf.

XDDDDD

Dumbledore is gay
And I wouldn't have him any other way
Because his charms just improved
In this new change of grooves

And the world is just SQUEEEEE!!!!

but this is me in some MAJOR incoherency.

]]> ~Wyvern-Elavie http://Wyvern-Elavie.deviantart.com/journal/14948589/ http://Wyvern-Elavie.deviantart.com/journal/14948589/ Sat, 06 Oct 2007 23:39:55 PDT And I'll won't love him any less. In fact, I may love him more.

Sorry. Odd choir joke.

So I decided to update my journal after forever. Simply because the narcissistic side of my brain thinks that there's someone out there who actually gives a crap about what I put in here. Because the bitchy part of my brain wouldn't read this for shit. Then again, who would do anything for shit? I mean it's... poo...

Anyways. The choir thing actually DOES have relevance to my life. Because I got accepted in to the Coastal California Regional Honors Choir (on my first audition) and I'm so happy I make the Carebears look like Severus Snape on Melatonin. And the other two who auditioned with me got in too But they got into Mixed Choir and I'm in the Women's Choir so we'll be separated. But oh well.

AND I came up with this GREAT motif for the "Epic Instrumental" And it sounds like it could be an ACTUAL VIDEOGAME (or movie) SOUNDTRACK. It's like Debussy and Nobuo Uematsu and the Dresden Dolls on Prozac

And.... well, life is just nice sometimes. Stop and smell the roses and all (and then prick your finger and have your boyfriend lick the blood in a totally romantic way, leading you to avert your eyes and blush while you swipe your fingers away at the fastest possible moment). XD

]]> ~Wyvern-Elavie http://Wyvern-Elavie.deviantart.com/journal/14350462/ http://Wyvern-Elavie.deviantart.com/journal/14350462/ Sun, 26 Aug 2007 14:12:37 PDT and have done it so far, so I figured I might as well get the eight things overwith.

1) I plan out fake fights and fake conversations to randomly have in the middle of no-time. Very few have actually been acted out, though.
2) Defenestration, Idiosyncrasy, and Ineffable are my three favorite words. Go look them up if you don't know them.
3) I love the cartoon Storm Hawks.
4) I can say the English Alphabet backwards in just under three seconds.
5) When I was 6, I took hula dancing lessons for a month or two.
6) The lowest note I have ever sun was a C# in the tenor zone (the one below middle C) while I have the whistle register for my highest note (which basically means I can go on forever, it's just really weak singing).
7) On my myspace (the accursed thing), the band The Remus Lupins is in my Top 8 as well as higher than the guy that actualy looks like Remus (that I used to crush on) and friends that I talk to almost every day.
8) I used to like the color pink (gasp!), but it was only for about a year--and I was 5.

Oh, and as an extra: I happen to hate the scent of Lavender.

]]> ~Wyvern-Elavie http://Wyvern-Elavie.deviantart.com/journal/14247641/ http://Wyvern-Elavie.deviantart.com/journal/14247641/ Sun, 19 Aug 2007 22:22:27 PDT [link]

It says.... they're... banning... HP....slash...

~dies~

I think I just might cry.

]]> ~Wyvern-Elavie http://Wyvern-Elavie.deviantart.com/journal/14219308/ http://Wyvern-Elavie.deviantart.com/journal/14219308/ Fri, 17 Aug 2007 23:47:23 PDT

Anyways.


I have this really NERDY friend, who's a complete and total awesome dork. And he likes to read. And he likes to make mischief. And he hangs out with all the cool people even though he's really not (though, in the nerd sense, he is). And IF HE STRAIGHTENS HIS HAIR HE TOTALLY LOOKS LIKE REMUS LUPIN.


If it acts like an emu, and looks like an emu, THEN IT MUST BE A FREAKING-

~HEEHEE, HE LOOKS LIKE REMUS!!!!~

-shut UP, i'm talking... oh whatever-

]]> ~Wyvern-Elavie http://Wyvern-Elavie.deviantart.com/journal/14216421/ http://Wyvern-Elavie.deviantart.com/journal/14216421/ Fri, 17 Aug 2007 19:33:09 PDT
Sigh.

And High School Musical 2 comes out today, so I'm just trying to stay away from my eight year old squealing sister, whose fangirlingness has thus far almost rivaled my own.

Sigh.

]]> ~Wyvern-Elavie http://Wyvern-Elavie.deviantart.com/journal/13931666/ http://Wyvern-Elavie.deviantart.com/journal/13931666/ Sun, 29 Jul 2007 19:03:58 PDT
I feel so happy and proud of myself. First off, yesterday, we started working on Rifle tricks, which I've been begging for forever! I have my port spin down, but there's a one handed spin that you have to catch with your left hand, that I can't do without moving the rest of my body, because you're supposed to let your arms do the work and nothing else. But I'll try to get one of those PotC toy rifles from Target to practice! And then I passed my Basic Military Regulations with the highest score of our unit so far (out of 3 people, but whatevs) and I received a COMMAND COIN!!! For our unit, command coins are only given for merit instead of initiation. I haven't discussed it with anybody personally except my parents, my XO, and my LPO who presented it to me. It's kinda supposed to be that way, though. I guess my XO sees my potential and wants to see me succeed, so he's been giving me a lot of favor lately. The future is quite bright at the moment. I'm just so happy... it's kinda cliche, but oh well.

Except that guy that is kind of a jerk, but I still think he's hot from April 29th left the unit and transferred because of issues with the CO. Honestly, I think he put to much trust in our slightly incompetent CO and became almost dependent. But my current LPO and I know a lot better now from his mistakes.

Oh, and Happy Belated Birthday to Kuppatsu! Sorry I forgot!!!!

And this little fun music thing courtesy of redrum-110

RULES OF THE SHUFFLE:
~Go to your music player of choice and put it on shuffle.
~Say the following questions aloud, and press play.
~Use the song titles that come up to answer each question.
~NO CHEATING - even if the answers aren't what you'd like them to be.

How does the world see me?
We Want the Airwaves by the Ramones
…not exactly sure if that’s supposed to be good or bad…

Will I have a happy life?
The Pledge by Dir En Grey
…Either a life of hot Japanese guys screaming a language I can’t understand…. Or a Big Fat NO. This isn’t exactly the happiest song in the books.

What do people really think of me?
Haunted by Evanescence
Stalker victim that shows petty resistance…uh-huh…

Do people secretly lust after me?
Middle of the Road by the Pretenders
…right, no… stalk, but no… why do I keep getting stuff about getting stalked?….

How can I make myself happy?
Don’t Stop Believing by Journey
Faith and love, babes. Well, faith, love and random strangers that inexplicably change my life.

What should I do with my life?
The Four Seasons “Spring”: Allegro
I’m thinking something along the lines of either composing classical songs that make you feel happy or prancing around in the flowers for show. I’ll take the former, please.

Will I have children?
Regret by Malice Mizer
…the way this is put, probably…(Don’t want children, never have)

What is some good advice for me?
The Music of the Night by Andrew Lloyd Webber from the Phantom of the Opera
Something about snogging and romance. Okay!

What do I think my current theme song is?
Harry’s Game by Celtic Woman
Well… I’m on the HP rave right now, so that makes sense. But English translations from the Gaelic support adventure and journeying and following some dude with a good rep.

What does everyone else think my current theme song is?
Slide by the Dresden Dolls
…I think I need to work on my image… A LOT… ~nervous laugh~

What song will they play at my funeral?
Smile Ichiban Ii Onna by Antic Café
Awwww!!!! I feel uberly-loved ~Squeals in delight~

What Type of Man/Woman do I like?
Yami Ni Chiru Sakura by Alice Nine
What’s with all the J-Rock?…But it tells me I like the cold-hearted Snape and Vinnie Valentine jerks…

What is my day going to be like?
To Whom It May Concern by Emery
Nostalgic and regretful… yeah, right, I’ve actually had a great day so far, thank you.

Why am I here?
Lady Madonna by The Beatles
To be a….mother?…odd…

What will people remember me for?
Little Fugue in G Minor, BWV 578
For polyphonic layers using variations of different instruments and sounds! Yeah!

What song will I get stuck in my head tomorrow?
Dark Light by HIM
I haven’t list... ]]> ~Wyvern-Elavie http://Wyvern-Elavie.deviantart.com/journal/13847539/ http://Wyvern-Elavie.deviantart.com/journal/13847539/ Mon, 23 Jul 2007 14:23:09 PDT
And a few days later, I am still lamenting.

For a book series I had only read this summer, I was astonished at my actions. I had never cried this much over a book. ever.

***SPOILERS START HERE***

However, I am a tiny bit disappointed at the many plot-lines she left dangling and incomplete: like the veil and the dept. of mysteries, and the "magic later in the life" and all that stuff. sigh.

Though am thoroughly shocked that she put a tiny bit of HPDM!!!!! I couldn't believe she did that. It was one of the few parts in which I was actually squealing instead of crying.

And then when you think about it. If Malfoy hadn't been such a douchebag and realized what he'd done to the Elder Wand, he could've ruled the world and taken over Moldy Voldy. STupid douchebag. (Still, I'd thought Malfoy would be more prevalent to the plot.)

And since HPDM has NO shot now, I have to turn to next gen. and be an ASS supporter! I <3 that pairing (for the name and for the people). Because I firmly believe that Albus Severus will go into Slytherin with Scorpius and become the bestests of friends and be a cute little gay couple. And Ron will faint for his nephew would be dating a Slytherin. XD

How could she be so cold as to kill Remus? I mean, I knew the Lupins' death had to happen (ever since Harry became godfather, it was kinda obvious). But when it struck, it was the worst thing that ever happened. And then FRED. What's George going to do now? It's horrible!!! Mad-Eye and Hedwig were just unexpected.

***SPOILERS END HERE***

It's just too overwhelming. Or maybe I'm PMSing. Or maybe it's both.

]]> ~Wyvern-Elavie http://Wyvern-Elavie.deviantart.com/journal/13579824/ http://Wyvern-Elavie.deviantart.com/journal/13579824/ Mon, 02 Jul 2007 15:03:46 PDT
But I'm up to four half songs and two themes stuck in my head I'm developing, and I finished my BMR for my Navy so I can go on to Airman book

I've been working on a drawing based on the quote "Death will not kill me, life will" and I'm trying to portray different sucky scenarios for my vict-I mean subject. I have a guy about to whip her, a low paying dishwashing job, a funeral, alcoholism... and I just need a whole bunch of stuff that'll make her life go down teh drain. Any other ideas? ]]> ~Wyvern-Elavie http://Wyvern-Elavie.deviantart.com/journal/13452856/ http://Wyvern-Elavie.deviantart.com/journal/13452856/ Fri, 22 Jun 2007 21:46:46 PDT
My cousin had a baby and I had NO IDEA about it. My cousin Tiffany had a baby, and he's so cute!!!! I'm so happy for them.

And my cousin is here playing hte guitar making fun of me, but that's normal. And the world is good...

And a week after I got the book series (a few days before my last post), I finished the HP series, and I've been around in the fandom. And I'm really excited for the 7th book's arrival.

The world CAN be okay!

]]> ~Wyvern-Elavie http://Wyvern-Elavie.deviantart.com/journal/13170656/ http://Wyvern-Elavie.deviantart.com/journal/13170656/ Thu, 31 May 2007 23:32:01 PDT
But whatever. I am content. It is that simple. For I have finally read an entire Harry Potter book.

Before this moment, I had only read one page of the worldly acclaimed so-called masterpiece, and promptly after processing the information fell asleep on my parents' bed (this was in second grade, mind you). And with the influence of Kuppatsu and the devilishly intriguing character of Draco Malfoy, I have forced it upon myself to be obliged in reading these books.

It wasn't half bad. It wasn't "OH-MY-GOD-IT'S-SO-HAWT" squeal worthy, but it wasn't half bad.

Though, Malfoy in the movie is a lot better than Malfoy in the book, because Malfoy in the book is a sniveling prick, whilst Malfoy in the movie is a devious plotting sniveling prick.

My aunt from Las Vegas invited me to come over during the summer for a few days, and I was so willing to go. But the tickets on Southwest are kinda expensive, and we get free points for using Southwest because it's what my dad and a whole bunch of my relatives use for work and vacation traveling Nonetheless, I WILL find a way to go!

]]> ~Wyvern-Elavie http://Wyvern-Elavie.deviantart.com/journal/13157848/ http://Wyvern-Elavie.deviantart.com/journal/13157848/ Wed, 30 May 2007 22:50:31 PDT
And I'm thinking that this pertains to me so much, that it hurts.

I've been trying so hard to erase myself from my friends, to keep myself from betraying them in the end-- like I always have. I never write much in yearbooks, I won't let anybody write much in mine--if any at all. I only tell what I know won't linger, and I keep silent at the things people need to know the most in order to be my friend and understand me.

I keep myself distanced from people so when we part it would hurt less. But that doesn't mean people are trying to distance themselves from me.

I think of Kuppatsu, Jeannie, Vini, and Carly-- friends who have tried to get so close to me, who inevitable I am pushing away. And from Reno's POV in the fic, how much harder am I hurting them by doing so?

I say I do it to be independent, to stand on my own two feet instead of being that high-middle-class private school brat I had been before. But I honestly think it's fear of betrayal. I used to think this fear was superficial, mini-scarrings, like a trip on cement from elementary school years. But I think it goes far deeper than that. I think it goes to broken promises, and muddled words, and waiting too long for something to happen--or for someone to come.

And it was always in the little things too. It wasn't like anybody just got up and left me. It was in the little words, the mini-symbolistic mannerisms, only things an observant genius would pick up.

Funny, now that it seems upon reflection, that the betrayal I am most scared of is not those inflicted upon me, but the ones I WILL inflict upon others. I know that in the end, my coldheartedness will rule out, my bitchy and narcissitic and selfish side will overtake me in my irrationality and misjudgment. I've done it so many times before.

And that's why i'm scared of REAL, LIFELONG, friendship, no matter how much I pine for it. That's why I cringe at the thought of marriage, in fiction or fact. why I overcompensate my sentimentalities to this world of creation, to drive it away from anything that would last

Independence. I think I'll scoff at my own folly.

]]> ~Wyvern-Elavie http://Wyvern-Elavie.deviantart.com/journal/13115616/ http://Wyvern-Elavie.deviantart.com/journal/13115616/ Sun, 27 May 2007 17:34:17 PDT
anyways, I've been dead for the past few days because of finals and stuffs, but IT'S OVER. IT'S DONE. THREE MONTHS OF HEAVEN (OR HELL DEPENDING).

I have learned something OF GREAT IMPORTANCE:

Cloud + Reno + Zack = CRACK!!!!!!

That's just awesome.

ANd now, that I'm over THAT spazzing period.

I'm learning hte FFVII Main theme on teh piano. It's muy wonderful. For all you music theory people out there. I pray you this:
Nobuo Uematsu uses E Major as the first chord in the phrase-- why does it sound so solemn? It's wonderful. It's a MAJOR CHORD that sounds depressing. It's genius! That first phrase under the slur is made pretty much of Major and Major Dominant chords and it sounds DEPRESSING. I LOVE IT.

okay... and my aunt from Vegas is staying over, so I get limited computer time

I have realized how small my world is.

My aunt came over and we're taking her to all these houses to see her friends. So we go to this one house... House A... and we figure that one of the kids who lives there goes to my school....
well, not only does she go to my school, but carpools with Kuppatsu (who fumed at me in shock, even though she's in Tahoe)
and her cousin knows my friend Fuzzy's sister
and is also friends with Fuzzy
And one of the other aunts in the household is friends with this guy, Ramon's, mom
And another guy is friends with my mom's friend, the parish priest
And another girl was from the same province in the Philippines as my dad.
And in House B... is another guy who wants to go into the military and retire in the CIA... just like me...
... I can't wait for House C....

I still haven't talked to Jeannie about all the drama. She just keeps going on with life as if our fight didn't mean anything, as if the feelings didn't linger. She stil jokes saying "oh yeah, Aj, you're not going to miss me or any of us"... that hurts. the apathy she places on me hurts. No, I will not miss them--simply because I will see them come the next semester. This girl is getting on my nerves. But I won't let her.

PIrates 3 is yummy. full of multiple johnny depps, which is alwasy fun.
except there are a few plot holes and hanging endings.

]]> ~Wyvern-Elavie http://Wyvern-Elavie.deviantart.com/journal/12995529/ http://Wyvern-Elavie.deviantart.com/journal/12995529/ Thu, 17 May 2007 23:34:51 PDT
Well, that's my life at the present.

Remember that girl from the last journal? The one I was pissed at?

She finally cracked.

We were talking about something and I had merely commented something along of the lines of "you wouldn't understand." She became a bit tense there, but Kuppatsu and I continued joking around and bitching as usual. I asked if something was up and she started her rant.

She told me that she tried so hard to be friends with me. She tried so hard to always be happy around me and "get me out of my depression" or something like that. THat she can't always be the happy optimistic "Jeannie." She said that I ALWAYS think that I expect her to be that optimistic side just because she got over her dad's death a few years ago. She said that she tries to understand me, but i won't let her. I just keep saying that she wouldn't understand. She's mad at me for not telling her straight up what or who I am.

But the problem is I DON'T EXPECT HER OF ANYTHING. I don't expect her to understand me. hell, I don't expect ME to understand me. All I ask of her is to accept me for who I am and she can't do that. She'll learn who I am by talking TO me instead of AT me, by watching the way I act and carry myself. But listening to my darkest secrets, and just looking at the messages the actor side (Nalei) of myself leaves so conspicuously.

I don't expect her to always be happy. I expect her to be human, to love to bitch, to cry. She says she's tired when Kuppatsu and I take our anger out on our friends. We don't. We take it out on paper and pencil. on the computer. And we may vent a little angry. But it is NEVER the extent of our anger to actually HURT anyone in our group. And quite frankly, we aren't taking it out on our group. We keep it inside, military bearing type Nalei takes care of that for me. And I'll scream and stuff. but I'm pretty much always screaming- out of joy and spaz or out of confusion. So I don't get it.

And when I "take my anger out" or just SHOW MY EMOTION. I'm simply trying to show. Well not even trying. I jsut do. Show that I'm human, that I care for my friends. That I care for their welfare.

She thinks I'm in a depression. I'm NOT. I may be goth. I may be emo. and I may fucking well love the dark side of life. But I LOVE. I'm not in a depression. I AM optimistic, more than anyone will ever know. I have HOPE wthin the darkness. A black light within the blinding rays of hte sun. It's what's kept me living. If I really was in a goddamn depression, I would've killed myself years ago--back when I didn't care. But I DO CARE now.

And the worst part now is, that she won't talk about it. I told her later that we needed to talk, but all she did was sit and laugh and pretend that nothing happened. We can't solve problems like that. She always does this. We go on in life pretending nothing ever happened. And we can't grow or learn from it.

Lessons on life for today:
It's okay to be human. i promise.
Talking is nice. Bitching, complimenting, yelling. Talking is better than silence.

Other than that...
we had a choral concert today. ...supposedly yay, but we rushed our finale a bit and fucked the timing up. And twas sad indeed.

I have never been more repulsed or turned on so much by a single person at the same time EVER.

So there's this guy (whoa! Travis Parody!!!! sorry. inside joke), who I will now forever call Jackass. Who is really hot, take note. And for a project there was a Genocide presentation. THis certain group's topic happened to be the Jewish Holocaust by Hitler. And I happened to be in the same group as JAckass. And mind you, he has this fetish with his face. So he's standing at the side of hte tri-fold posterboard and he starts nudging it with his face, to the side and back, almost as if her were actually trying to move it or position it. And he was using his mouth, and he kept shaking his leg. Like that little twitchy thing you to where you stand on the balls of your feet and your heel goes up and down involuntarily. I swear it was the HOTTEST and WEIRDEST thing he has EVER done so far. And this is a full fledged jock boy. except he's a bit lazy even though he's really smart.

My friend later commented, "Aw, Jackass is running away from his new lover." As he switched posterboard lectures.
I questioned her: "Lover?"
And she replied to me, "Yeah, didn't you see the way he was attempting to make out with the posterboard?"

And it was funny.

Because he's the same guy I pretended to fake rape for MY genocide project on Tibet.

Sigh. Life's a bitch. But I love a few bitches, so it's all good.

]]> ~Wyvern-Elavie http://Wyvern-Elavie.deviantart.com/journal/12984128/ http://Wyvern-Elavie.deviantart.com/journal/12984128/ Wed, 16 May 2007 23:11:44 PDT
and I still have time for DA.

even though I haven't been in for a long time.

I solemnly promise (and by solemnly, i am solemn at the moment) that after may 24th, I will start posting WAY more stuff on DA and actually commenting on stuff at that time. Just to get caught up.

So, right next door to my school campus is a graveyard--one of the perks of the school actually (the graveyard actually owns some of the parking lot). And during my lunch, I saw a funeral going on. I just kept staring at that raised platform with all the people in it. And I thought: Who was that person? Was he good or bad? A girl or guy? Old or young? Race? Personality? Music taste? Why did he or she have to die? How did he or she die?

And then I thought about the people attending the funeral.
Did they come because they really loved him (sorry to be chauvinist, but I don't wanna type that much)?
Or was it out of obligation?
Oh yeah, he's my second cousin once removed, I'll go... even though I've got a pretty sweet date for that day. Oh well.
Was it because someone made them go?
Did they really care about the person?
Did the person really care about him?

And all these things mirrored my own image.

When I was seven, my grandpa died of a heart attack. I didn't understand much, but being the genius i was, I put two and two together.

My grandpa didn't really pay attention to me. I was just "the other kid." According to my dad's parents (the side from which the death occured), I spent too much time with my mom's side of the family--even though they live all the way across the pacific ocean. I was the baby of the family, but I wasn't THEIR baby. No, I was too much of a freak for that. AFter all, I had known the 50 states and capitals at 3 years old. You would think they'd give me SOME attention. No, it went to Justin instead.

Justin is a jock. In every sense of the word. He's not that smart, he's a bit shallow sometimes, and to everyone in the known masses--he's the cutest piece of ass out there (aside from Cloud Strife, whose ass isn't real). And he was the baby. He got to sleep in their bed during the sleepovers, he got to cuddle up with Grumpa and Grumma.

Me? I stayed in the very corner by the fireplace. I hated middles.

And then there were my other cousins, born of my gramdpa's first-born son. They excelled in different things, but none so much as me. I have music, brains, and writing. They had averageness.

And they still got more than I did.

My grumma gave them 20 bucks each for every A they got in school. All my grumma gives me now is a congratulations, a shake of hte hand, and then an annoying rant of "Are you hungries" and "Sit downs" from the dementia.

Call me a jealous bitch, but that was the way it was. My grumma still barely knows my name, preferring my LITTLE SISTER over me. She still confuses me with "April" and "Tiffany" and never just calling me "AJ!" Amelia-Jade. When will she get it? Dementia. Right. That's how she remembers my sister and my cousins--even the one no one talks to anymore-- not me.

I got over Grumpa's death soon enough. It didn't really affect me, but when I went to his funeral. I dressed in pretty black and gave a pretty speech about how much I missed him. It was so fake, it was plastic. But no one could EVER see through the mask of the cute seven year old kid.

Later, when I was ....11 or 12... my other grumpa died. That "lolo," loved me with all his heart, but not for me--but for who I was. Unlike my "Grumpa's" thoughts. My lolo favored me because I was the daughter of his favorite child--my mother. My mother was favored SO MUCH by the family. No clue why, though. NEver really talked to her about it. But he loved me because of my mother. And I was uber-smart, but i've already mentioned that. And the biggest bonus--I could play piano. No one else had ever bothered to learn. It automatically promoted me to-- absolutely special and NEVER GIVING UP PIANO EVER NOT MATTER WHAT. sigh. But I guess, I have to be thankful for that. Piano takes up about 40% of my life. Still, It's just wonderful--knowing you've been loved because of a lie. And then there's the fact that I was practically his only hope for getting another genius. My cousins were smart, sure. They're Asian, but they're born in Asia. I was an American. And I was a genius. Genius + America = Success.

But my American-ness is what shied me away. When I went to the Philippines, I was just "the poor American kid." Yeah, take pity... ]]> ~Wyvern-Elavie http://Wyvern-Elavie.deviantart.com/journal/12821296/ http://Wyvern-Elavie.deviantart.com/journal/12821296/ Wed, 02 May 2007 20:39:35 PDT
But seriously. I swear that all my teachers are having a contest to see who could break all the smart kids first. Will it be my theology teacher with an entire chapter of notes for homework and a NEW project just after we'd ended the last one? Or would it be my English teacher who's making us delve deep into one Shakespeare in class time of less than a week, when there are whole classes on the subject? Or maybe it's my borderline schizophrenic history teacher who NOW decides to not give GADS of homework and instead gives us two simultaneous projects, one of which is half my grade, as well as a take home test 10 essay questions wrong next class? The only sane ones so far include my MATH teacher-- who is generally not on my good graces. However, she's giving us LESS homework than anyone else. And for that i'm grateful.

So I'm reading Much Ado ABout Nothing. And I start laughing. Well, of course it's natrual because Shakespeare's so crazy like that. But rather because the entire thing reminds me of my PERFECT realtionship. Yes, my perfect relationship with my partner would be an endless verbal spar and argumentative sex. It's just the way things work in my brain.

And I just realized.... I'm going to sound like such the schoolgirl spaz, but the guy in my class read Twelfth Night around the same time my class did though we came from different schools last year and saw She's the Man for it (yes, my school was crazy like that).... Too bad we didn't go to school anywhere near each other....

I like the Dresden Dolls. They're so sarcastic and witty. And innuendo always makes songs a little bit funner.

]]> ~Wyvern-Elavie http://Wyvern-Elavie.deviantart.com/journal/12782923/ http://Wyvern-Elavie.deviantart.com/journal/12782923/ Sun, 29 Apr 2007 19:57:07 PDT
First: SQUEALING!!!! AH! OH MY GOSH! IT WAS SO SCARY! AND THEN AWESOME AT THE SAME TIME!

Because for the Dress Whites outfit (the traditional white sailor suit), the group I'm in is required to wear a neckerchief. Well, it was my first time wearing a neckerchief and I had gotten one yesterday and my Leading Petty Officer (LPO) said he'd help me put it on today. Well, we all got changed in our dress whites. And I ask him to put to help me tie it. So he tells me to wrap it around my collar and so I do. If you've ever seen someone wear a neckerchief, you know that the knot just happens to reside at the bottom of the V-neck of the jumper top... right in the chest area. So there's a very fit and hot looking guy almost exactly two years older than me tying a knot multiple times (he's such a damn perfectionist) barely touching my (sadly size A) chest area.

It was hell.

Then again, it was a nice bit of hell.

Second: I have never been to Red Lobster. It was very sad. Until yesterday. And I think I died in heaven from all the seafood. I LOVE SEAFOOD!!!! Especially lobster. And crabs. And oysters. And... yum...

Third: I'm sad. Because my friend's sad. Because her boyfriend broke up with her for no apparant reason. And he won't talk to her or anything. He's such an asshole.

And seeing any of my friends cry is one of the worst tortures to put me through. Ever. I hate it when they cry.

Fourth: And going back to my Navy thing. I'm also pretty disappointed. Because the male's changing room door just happened to be a bit open and me and my friend were out in the lobby. And I was opening my locker and just before the door to the room closed my friend got to see the hot LPO shove his pants off...

Damn! I wish I'd seen that!

Fifth: I had a strange dream that everyone turned into giant chickens.... Yeah.... Issues.

Sixth.
I have decided. Being normal is not worth it. Normalcy is something that the world takes for granted. I want to change that. Besides, I CANNOT. ABSOLUTELY CANNOT be normal or anything but myself. It's living a lie. I can't LIVE a lie. And for that bried moment I'd forgotten that. And the world is all right.

LAVI IS HOT!!!! (DGM issues)

]]> ~Wyvern-Elavie http://Wyvern-Elavie.deviantart.com/journal/12760509/ http://Wyvern-Elavie.deviantart.com/journal/12760509/ Fri, 27 Apr 2007 22:17:50 PDT
I have almost none of these things. And just barely that last one. I am selfish, narcissistic, brash, rude, outspoken, opinionated, argumentative, stubborn, frank, and just plain bitchy.

And it hurts.

Not just me, but my friends and my family as well. If I wasn't so brash, I'd have more friends. If I wasn't so outspoken, my friends wouldn't have to fight me. If I wasn't so narcissistic, maybe people would appreciate me and what I have to say a little more.

And I have to think that somehow, if I were different that the world would be a little bit better.

If I wasn't so stuck on being different from everybody else. If I would just go along with what my parents said for once. If I just listened.

If I was NORMAL. If I acted like everyone else. If my behavior wasn't so frustrating.

And thus I am faced with a decision.

Do I have the guts to be normal?

Do I have the gall to put my words into play? Do I have the courage to implement my goal into my life? Do I have the strength to live up to my own expectations?

Do I have the will to be something I'm not?

And maybe tomorrow I'll actually write something happy.

]]> ~Wyvern-Elavie http://Wyvern-Elavie.deviantart.com/journal/12747571/ http://Wyvern-Elavie.deviantart.com/journal/12747571/ Thu, 26 Apr 2007 19:57:07 PDT
That statement in my head officially makes no sense.

I had a presentation project due today, another one due the 11th of May that's worth half my grade, and an essay that's seriously threatening to rip my brain apart. I mean, my brain's so seriously fucked with essays I included an AC(insert thunderbolt)DC correllation in a Community Service Paper..... I NEVER do that.

I don't even know why I'm actually on here. I'm gonna be up till one tonight if I keep this up. But I might as well keep faithful to my art. Because art is nice. It keeps me half sane. Because that's the maximum percentage I could ever get up to.

Maybe this weekend I'll actually have a journal worth reading. Then again, maybe not.

]]> ~Wyvern-Elavie http://Wyvern-Elavie.deviantart.com/journal/12735820/ http://Wyvern-Elavie.deviantart.com/journal/12735820/ Wed, 25 Apr 2007 20:26:34 PDT
But yeah.

UGH... English. Stupid Community SErvice Essay... I swear. I spent more hours on that than I did drawing half the crap I do.

This was short. Sad.

]]> ~Wyvern-Elavie