http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:X-Emo-Boy-X&section=today deviantART RSS for by:X-Emo-Boy-X en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Mon, 14 Dec 2009 20:13:57 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://X-Emo-Boy-X.deviantart.com/journal/15710277/ http://X-Emo-Boy-X.deviantart.com/journal/15710277/ Wed, 28 Nov 2007 16:27:02 PST
[link]

]]> ~X-Emo-Boy-X http://X-Emo-Boy-X.deviantart.com/journal/15651529/ http://X-Emo-Boy-X.deviantart.com/journal/15651529/ Sat, 24 Nov 2007 14:49:57 PST
I've been feeling really sick for the past few days, like migraine, but it sways to just the headache, or just the nausea. I can't really figure out why though.

I got more batteries, but now just nothing to take photos of, I have all the time in the world but I just can't get anything done, I just seem to sit and do nothing when I look back at what I have achieved for the day. Even Evies' sprinkles has been postponed for months now, and when I go to do it something else unrelated and unimportant pops up.

Cleaning today, sugar soaping the walls. Depending on when Zoe wakes up, which will probably be in 4 minutes, is when I have to do the walls, I start work at 12:30, and finish at 4, I hate cleaning. The walls don't get clean, they have this dirt tinge from where something has been stuck in front of it, the dirt masses around it, under it is blue, the rest is an off brown/blue colour.

There doesn't seem to be any music I want to listen to lately, it all seems crap or overplayed. I tried to find something new, but failed and got even worse than what I already had.

My muscles are aching cause due to my complete lack of exercise, moving furniture and such for 3 days straight has left my body screwed. It makes me grumpy and not want to do anything, but there is always something else to be done. Never any time to rest, I sleep but I don't get any sleep, the sun makes me wake up early, at 7, but by the time it's 9 I'm ready to sleep again.

I have some ideas for photos, but they are impossible, certain cloud shapes and lights, the different shades of grey and black mixing and swirling, the height of some clouds pitched against others, all those kind of things that only the human eyes can see but the lens can't. I've tried, but taking a photo of a specific cloud the way you see it just seems impossible. Plus anything that requires a steady hand is becoming more difficult, my hands just keep shaking and twitching, but not when I look at them. I tried to take a photo of an ants' head, which bit me so I crushed it and dismembered it, the head was still moving and it's little antennae flailing, but being so close I had to set the camera to super macro, thus I could not zoom to get just the head.

I need to see everyone before I leave, but I just can't get around to doing it, they are on holidays so they have nothing to do, but nor do I.

It seems my dry spell of writing has ended just now, with 'Catching Dragon-flies'. It seems somewhat different to my usual.

]]> ~X-Emo-Boy-X http://X-Emo-Boy-X.deviantart.com/journal/15480163/ http://X-Emo-Boy-X.deviantart.com/journal/15480163/ Mon, 12 Nov 2007 14:26:49 PST
Went to Maroochydore again yesterday and found the most awesome house EVER. 2 story carpeted, 2 bedroom, 1 bathroom, 2 toilets (one upstairs and one down), balcony, built-in wardrobes, all that for $240 a week. We put in an application so I really hope we get this one.

So, the batteries I buy for my camera are like $15 for 4, I bought a new pack a little bit before we stayed at Kates. I used the camera a little then for the fire pictures, and they are flat now I don't have $15 for new batteries which means, though there weren't any, any photo I was planning on taking won't be happening for a while now.

The sun just ran away, like within 2 seconds it went from light to dark, and now it's going back to light.

I'm wondering how many of the people watching me are still even active on this site, they favourite one thing, add me, then that is all, never any comments on something new.

My veins look like they are collapsing, like they make literal trails sunk into my flesh.

]]> ~X-Emo-Boy-X http://X-Emo-Boy-X.deviantart.com/journal/15435995/ http://X-Emo-Boy-X.deviantart.com/journal/15435995/ Fri, 09 Nov 2007 15:05:44 PST
I amazingly found the drivers for my modem so go go super internet power. I went on and had 14 tracking cookies and 1 adware within the 4hrs I was on setting up paypal and checking DA and such.

Mmm, I thought I was getting nearer to the end of FFX but apparently I have a buttload of stuff to do before I'm anywhere near the end

I think that's about the extent of what's been happening, ooh, and Mums new computer doesn't have a floppy drive and dads new computer doesn't read plug'n'lay usbs O.o therefore I have to fuck around and bring the printer into a different room and find power points and all that jazz to get something printed.

]]> ~X-Emo-Boy-X http://X-Emo-Boy-X.deviantart.com/journal/15410088/ http://X-Emo-Boy-X.deviantart.com/journal/15410088/ Wed, 07 Nov 2007 17:21:43 PST
I have minimul internet for a while as I re-imaged my laptop FORGETTING that the modem is screwey and I need someone with the exact same model to steal the drivers off. Either that or I keep searching for them.

So, Zoe and me are moving soon as long as everything goes right with this place, which will be super. AND the place isn't a complete shithole D D

Only other thing to bitch about I guess is my most likely failing all forms of course's and such >.< I just can't concentrate on them and some of the stuff they want me to do is stupid when the teacher is always busy helping other people.



SMILE, I SAID SMILE YOU SLIME

]]> ~X-Emo-Boy-X http://X-Emo-Boy-X.deviantart.com/journal/14914269/ http://X-Emo-Boy-X.deviantart.com/journal/14914269/ Thu, 04 Oct 2007 14:59:47 PDT
Going to Brisbane tomorrow while Zoe goes to the Manson concert, then coming back on tuesday.

I've, again, been so sick lately.

Posted some new photos, I hope to take some more soon when I get motivated.

I have the same 4 seconds of guitar stuck in my head and I don't know what it's from, does anyone know what song it is in Party Monster when Michael overdoses in the hotel room? I think it's that song but I'm not sure.

]]> ~X-Emo-Boy-X http://X-Emo-Boy-X.deviantart.com/journal/14711754/ http://X-Emo-Boy-X.deviantart.com/journal/14711754/ Thu, 20 Sep 2007 08:02:40 PDT after you died, I kiss the nape of your porcelain neck'

I can't sleep dammit. it's 12:30am by my clock, once I get on the computer i get sleepy but if I lay down I'm wide awake. Today sucked, I've been feeling off mentally and physically for a couple days now, and I got angry at Zoe cause I was particulary snappy after I went to sleep before work. I messed up and made her even more sad than before cause of the bitch she works with.

I can't remember if I said, I've gone to part time at tafe due to a build up in my work, so now I have to finish, it will just be a lot longer till I do. It all feels out of control yet so completely calm and laid out simply. My flesh is burning so much.

I can hear people up and moving around so I estimate another 20secs before my door opens and I'm told to go to bed

I want something to help me sleep, or I just need to live healthier so I will have a better sleep pattern.

'You enter me in death's perpetual embrace
Skin tightens in the throes of lust'

Anyone I talk to on msn here, which I don't think is anyone, so this is irrelevant, it is telling me to update it, hence why I haven't been on at all lately. I should have it updated by tomorrow I hope.

I've submitted a couple new photos as you can see, I have a few more to put borders on and submit, though I'm sure none of you really share my obsession with macro. It's so great though, with such a sharp focus on the point, then nothing else matters after that, even though the point to my photos is so small and insignificant, it's intensified by the fact that it's all you can see. Hence, macro = god.

'And in my dreams I cut your mouth from ear to ear
Dissecting your angelic body in the quiet of your room'

They need to design a band that plays exactly what I want/ I need to learn how to be musical, I can't sing nor can I play any instruments. I can't write straight poetry anymore it's all to a beat or a melody, but then in each piece I write there are 2 or more melodies depending on my mood.

As of the 16th of this month, by my clock 5 days ago, Zoe and myself have been together for 2 years, we went out for dinner then went to a friends house later that night. It was nice. She's so super to me. Haha, I actually thought ahead and made a reservation, despite the place always being empty XD

It's 1am so I spose I should try and sleep again. Goodnight all. I hope to get replies, though it will probably be like 2

'"I'll love you forever" -- and forever it shall be
The knives begin singing, they're weeping for your flesh'

]]> ~X-Emo-Boy-X http://X-Emo-Boy-X.deviantart.com/journal/14201079/ http://X-Emo-Boy-X.deviantart.com/journal/14201079/ Thu, 16 Aug 2007 18:41:42 PDT
Well, I got a new camera incase I didn't tell you all, I'm not sure, I can't remember what any of my journals have been about. It's shiny and I like it very much This means you will all have to put up with lots of oversized photos flooding your deviation boxes

All my wounds are healing up good, despite them hurting lots still. I will take photos of the scars when they heal over...and I get the stupid glue stuff which has turned black off me.

I think I'm having a good day today, I have been somewhat incredibly down lately, but today has seemed alright so far, hoping it will last.

I have now managed to finish all the yummy pasta stuff Zoe made, I ate the whole bowl to myself

I don't think there is really anything else I have to say. xxxxx

]]> ~X-Emo-Boy-X http://X-Emo-Boy-X.deviantart.com/journal/14004522/ http://X-Emo-Boy-X.deviantart.com/journal/14004522/ Fri, 03 Aug 2007 16:46:00 PDT
That's really all I have to say, I'm starting to write more, I got a new camera so I will be taking more photos. Yeh.

]]> ~X-Emo-Boy-X http://X-Emo-Boy-X.deviantart.com/journal/13908935/ http://X-Emo-Boy-X.deviantart.com/journal/13908935/ Sat, 28 Jul 2007 00:42:28 PDT
xxxxx

]]> ~X-Emo-Boy-X http://X-Emo-Boy-X.deviantart.com/journal/13687562/ http://X-Emo-Boy-X.deviantart.com/journal/13687562/ Tue, 10 Jul 2007 20:18:44 PDT
Turns out I missed something in my Cert 2 so now I have to re-enrol and pay for the task I missed thus, chris=idiot++ Still can't believe i was stupid enough to miss something. Onto the Cert 3 now so when I have time I will do the Cert 2 thing.(This is in Information and Technologies) if you hadn't read any other journals that stated so.

Zoe's dad and such are back from Singapore/Kuala Lumpur, super, means I will have to see him and his fuckslut wife till they leave. I'm very angry with them and I'm not sure why, point is if either of them start something I will finish it.

Getting lots of ideas for new poems, they suck but I figure it will keep me busy, seems a majority of people who watch me are either inactive/forgotten about me/just don't care anymore, then again, I haven't really submitted anything worth commenting on lately.

Nothing much else is happening, friends come and go as easily as I make them. Get to know one past the awkward stage and within the week they've left you. Decided to not make anymore friends now.

]]> ~X-Emo-Boy-X http://X-Emo-Boy-X.deviantart.com/journal/13534607/ http://X-Emo-Boy-X.deviantart.com/journal/13534607/ Fri, 29 Jun 2007 05:16:29 PDT .<

I finished my tafe course and will be starting my cert 3 soon, that and a cert 2 in retail with Zoe the dear sweet loving thing I call MINE.

Time seems to be going way to quick for my liking, hence why it should slow down. Tis my birthday in a month and 1 day, then I will be 17. Hopefully I can con everyone into putting money together to get a camera, then I will be able to take shitty photos and make you endure and comment on them.

Growing up is so lame, with all the advances in technology, I mean six year olds do not need phones and ipods, fucking spoilt bitch/bastards. What ever happened to good old fashioned moralled movies and power rangers, not new 'SUPERMEGAAWESOMESPACERANGERSGALACTICFORC EEATSUGERSUBLIMINALYMESSAGEDRANGERMEGAPO WERRANGERS-WITHGUNSANDEXPLOSIONS' just regular old 'ower Rangers', fruity looking people running around in tights with motorbike helmets fighting other people dressed in giant chicken suits.

Oh well, lets just hope we implode upon ourselves and start over new.


UPDATE: THE DEAR SWEET LOVING THING SAYS I SPELL LIKE SHIT SO I HAVE CHANGED ULSAR TO ULCER.

UPDATE2:I MISSED ONE.

]]> ~X-Emo-Boy-X http://X-Emo-Boy-X.deviantart.com/journal/12860703/ http://X-Emo-Boy-X.deviantart.com/journal/12860703/ Sun, 06 May 2007 06:19:42 PDT
TAFE is going well I guess, slow as always, but what can you expect with 2 days a week. Too much free time to do nothing yet get nothing done.

Stupid weather, why can't it just be cold, or why can't I just not be completely temperature retarted.

There really isn't anything to share.

]]> ~X-Emo-Boy-X http://X-Emo-Boy-X.deviantart.com/journal/12425091/ http://X-Emo-Boy-X.deviantart.com/journal/12425091/ Mon, 02 Apr 2007 02:08:25 PDT
I really can't think of much to journalate about so I figure I'll leave it at that. TATERS.

]]> ~X-Emo-Boy-X http://X-Emo-Boy-X.deviantart.com/journal/11627761/ http://X-Emo-Boy-X.deviantart.com/journal/11627761/ Tue, 30 Jan 2007 19:23:52 PST
I checked a couple journals and submissions but was WAY too overwhelmed by the amount so I have cleared them all and will be checking the new ones that come in, sorry if you had something nice I missed.

I am craving pizza and oily food so damn bad right now, I'm trying to get somewhat healthier to not feel as sick all the time, but it doesn't help when I get a stomach bug and don't want to eat. As anyone who has hugged me should know I have like fuckall bodyweight so I'm also trying to fix that, or if not bulk up at least build some muscles. I don't know, something like that.

As of this monday passed I am enrolled at TAFE doing a certificate II in IT, it's full time so I'll finish mid year which I hope to do the certificate III then either get a job/traineeship or get that stupid yr11/12 pass. Theoretically it should be pretty easy as long as I don't get too sick and start missing classes.

Mmm, sad as it is I think that sums up all I've been up to really, still with Zoe, still have a penis, I haven't cut my hair in ages. Seems about it.

Now that I'm back you all have to reply.

]]> ~X-Emo-Boy-X http://X-Emo-Boy-X.deviantart.com/journal/11357742/ http://X-Emo-Boy-X.deviantart.com/journal/11357742/ Mon, 08 Jan 2007 03:11:41 PST
I have been up to nothing, just working and drinking, like all good people do. Seeing as I've already been drinking and have a headache I will stop here.

If you still want me to use this account then reply, even if it's a blank message, at least I will know you's are still watching.

xxxxx

]]> ~X-Emo-Boy-X http://X-Emo-Boy-X.deviantart.com/journal/10503589/ http://X-Emo-Boy-X.deviantart.com/journal/10503589/ Wed, 25 Oct 2006 06:02:14 PDT
*sighs* Fuck angst.

Why is it that nothing can ever go the way it should. All I wanted was to have a partner and a friend, now it seems that I can only have one. The petty insults of an immature bitch spreading shit or the jealousy of a matured lover. When you both read this, do NOT go manic depressive on my ass cause I am angsty and not in the mood for dealing with it. Take a look at yourselves, whether you like it or not this is how I am seeing you both right now. Deal with it. To hate is petty.

So. I haven't been working much lately as I've been sick. Endoscoopy showed nothing, just left me sick and sore. The booze supply has run dry, so now I'm sober for a while, glorious. Everything is completely surreal, I don't know whether it's because of this recent shit fucking me around or just the pain has spaced me out, either way it's beautiful, unlike humanity. I really don't think there is much point to me writing anymore, no one reads whole journals anymore.

Everyone who reads this, to hate is petty, before you pick someone elses flaws, in doing so you have been flawed. I will sort this out.

]]> ~X-Emo-Boy-X http://X-Emo-Boy-X.deviantart.com/journal/10005671/ http://X-Emo-Boy-X.deviantart.com/journal/10005671/ Fri, 08 Sep 2006 04:32:07 PDT
Well, I have officially left school and am now working two jobs, one at faithful ol' Dimmeys' and another picking beans for dad, it's a whoreslut of a job but it pays well ie. $70 a day. It's taken me all but a week to decide I NEED to find a better job, though it's a 6hr day I'm so tired by the end of it. But oh well, at least I'm earning as opposed to LEARNING! stupid government schemes. hehe today I picked 109kg of beans, that's like nearly double my weight!

So well, seeing as I achieved my tonne today I deserve a drink, or 5, I damn well do, seeing as I only have a morning shift at Dimmeys' that starts at 8:30 tomorrow, so i figure I can get drunk and be fine by then, seeing as it's not a bloody 4:50 wake up to get ready as it was going to be tomorrow.

Well now I'm bored off my ass again, oh yeh, Zoe and my 1 year aniversary(see what leaving school does to you) next saturday, w00t to the MAX x 3

I guess I don't really have much else to say, oh yeh, CONGRATS to me for getting lots of pageviews without submitting anything anyways, love you all, well most of you, except the ones I hate and loathe and/or despise. TO THE BENEDICTINE SHARKEE ]]> ~X-Emo-Boy-X http://X-Emo-Boy-X.deviantart.com/journal/9502947/ http://X-Emo-Boy-X.deviantart.com/journal/9502947/ Wed, 26 Jul 2006 15:59:42 PDT

I'm rather sick so all drinking expeditions in relation to my birthday are going to be postponed until somewhat after I won't infect everyone. Theoretically they will be held at my house, not that any of you know where it is AND I expect a decent amount of you to show up.

Other than that nothing much is happening/happened in the life of chris lately, bar school becoming a complete assfuck, I'm considering quitting and getting a traineeship but alas I need the certs I'm getting now to be eligible for a traineeship >.<

Apart from that I will see you all soon. ]]> ~X-Emo-Boy-X http://X-Emo-Boy-X.deviantart.com/journal/8860502/ http://X-Emo-Boy-X.deviantart.com/journal/8860502/ Wed, 24 May 2006 04:47:27 PDT

[link]idgeonPie ]]> ~X-Emo-Boy-X http://X-Emo-Boy-X.deviantart.com/journal/8785082/ http://X-Emo-Boy-X.deviantart.com/journal/8785082/ Tue, 16 May 2006 04:34:49 PDT

What the fuck is up with this 'mohawk' craze...I mean what the mcfuck, if you want a mohawk do it, but don't get one of those faggish long ones where you don't even shave your head, it's stupid dammit, be like the guy from Ackercocke and get a decent one dammit, [link] none of that faggish long shit I see.

Didn't cover it up all that good. ]]> ~X-Emo-Boy-X http://X-Emo-Boy-X.deviantart.com/journal/8785063/ http://X-Emo-Boy-X.deviantart.com/journal/8785063/ Tue, 16 May 2006 04:30:51 PDT
Anywho, just a thought there, lol, sam(english) is so great, with sam contradicting the teacher and telling him he will be dead soon, got to love wishing death upon your english teacher, fucking hippy he is. gah, anyway, Mr Cranna should die already..

So, today their was an abundance of fag in town, and not even the good kind, only the wutang wannabe fag, gah, really gotta hate them

If you haven't already figured I'm going to bitch a lot in this journal, so if you don't want to read it fuck off and read someone elses, I've been drinking and I'm pissed off...

....hmm, I really can't think of anything to bitch about....strange, guess your safe...for now.

FUCK THE FULL MOON! ]]> ~X-Emo-Boy-X http://X-Emo-Boy-X.deviantart.com/journal/8553892/ http://X-Emo-Boy-X.deviantart.com/journal/8553892/ Sat, 22 Apr 2006 18:43:00 PDT
--METAL HEAD--

[?] Do you have long hair? Is mine long for a guys?
[] Do you like Beer?
[] Have you ever been in a Moshpit?
[x]You don't believe in God? MEDIA PROMOTING SHIT
[x] You got a Pentagram/heartogram on some clothing article etc.? my bag is now my clothing, dammit
[x] You own some spikes?
[] Can you play guitar?
[x] Can you growl? grr lol
[] Do you own Boots? *cries*
[] Do you rock out?
Total X: 5

--DRAMA DORK--
[] Ever been in a play?
[ ] Have you ever seen a Broadway show?
[ ] More than 10 Broadway shows?
[] Have you ever been/are you in school shows?
[ ] Does your current job involve theater in some way?
[] Want to end up working in/for theater
[] Can you recite all of the lyrics to your favorite play/musical?
[] Do you break out into random songs whenever/wherever!!
[] Do you like the 'Sound of Music'?
[ ] Did you like the Broadway show you saw?
Total X: 0

--REDNECK--
[] Do you have a couch in your front yard or porch?
[] Do you drive a four-wheeler?
[] Do you ride four-wheelers?
[] Do you like to get dirty?
[ ] Do you like country music?
[ ] Do you have a broken car in your back yard?
[ ] Do you own a cowboy hat? I wish I did, cowboy chris, got a ring to it
[ ] Do you have more then 4 different animals at your home?
[ ] Do you watch Larry the Cable Guy videos?
[x] Do you live on more than 1 acres?
Total X: 1

--GOTH--
[X] Do you wear black eyeliner?
[x] Is most of your clothing dark?
[X] Do you think about death often?
[X] Do you want to die?
[x] Are you a social outcast?
[x] Are you pale? was *sulks* so its a half...damn holidays
[x] Do you like Hot Topic? havent been there coz its AU but i went online oh yeah
[x] Do you enjoy Tim burton movies?
[x] Are you mean? I can be, GRR
ToTal X: 9

-SKATER/PUNK--
[x] Can you skateboard?
[] Do you wear Skateboarding shoes?
[X] Do you do stupid stuff with your friends?
[] Have you gotten in trouble with the Cops
[] Do you watch the x-games?
[] Do/did you have any piercings other than your ears?(I want one so bad)
[] Do you like/wear a mohawk?
[] Do you wear Band t-shirts?
[x] Have you called someone a poser recently?
Total X:3

--PREP--
[x] Do you say the word "like" I am like so hot like o-m-g hot
[] Do you shop at Hollister/Abercrombie&Fitch/AE/Aero?
[] Do the people in Hot Topic scare you?
[] Do u giggle alot when your'e with your friends/girlfriend/boyfriend?
[] Have/do you watch(ed) LAGUNA BEACH?
[] Do you like pop music?
[] Do you want/have a little dog?
[] Do you laugh a lot?
Total X: 1

--HIPPIE--
[x] Is your hair long? again, IS IT?
[] Do you own a tye-dye shirt?
[] Do you want to save the animals?
[] Do you think war is unnecessary?
[x] Do you like classic rock? SOME
[] Have you ever participated in a protest?
[x] Have you ever been overcome with a desire to hug a tree? and then I proceeded to swing around it
[] Is your idea of fun sitting around one person playing a guitar and singing along?
[] Do you see someone playing frisbee and automatically ask to play?
Total X: 2

--GANGSTA--
[x] Do you act ghetto sometimes? FO SHIZZLE FOO'
[] Do you wear do-rags?
[1/2] Do you like rap? SOMETIMES
[] Was Tupac truly the greatest rapper in the world?
[] Do you like afros?
[x] Have you ever said "Fo Sho"?
[] Do you like to dance?
[] Do You own 40 cd's...
[] Are you colored?
Total X: 2 1/2

--EMO-
[x] Do you cry often?
[X] Do you wear hoodies?
[x] Do you like soft music? SOMETIMES
[x] Do people not understand you?
[x] Do you write your own poems?
[x] Do you dye your hair red, black, or any dark color?(not permint)
[] Do you cut your own hair? NOT FOR A FEW MONTHS THOUGH
[X] Do you sometimes feel very lonely?
[x] Is "Ohio is for lovers" by Hawthorne Heights a good song? SOMETIMES
Total X: 8


--SURFER--
[] Do you surf?
[] Do you wear flip flops all year around
[] Is your hair shaggy/layered?
[] Do you wake up before 6 every morning? (not on weekends)
[] Do you own any pairs of shorts?
[] Do you think the ocean is radical?
[] Do you want to be at the beach right now?
[] Do you hate tourists? :
Total X: 0

--GEEK--

[] Do you wear glasses?
[x]Do you get good grades?
[] Do you use an inhaler?
[] Do you stick pens and... ]]> ~X-Emo-Boy-X http://X-Emo-Boy-X.deviantart.com/journal/8553791/ http://X-Emo-Boy-X.deviantart.com/journal/8553791/ Sat, 22 Apr 2006 18:30:16 PDT
Haven't submitted a journal since February 22, 2006, 8w 3d ago, crazy ain't it, I'm just ashamed in you all now, only one person commented on my song lyrics oh well, more than I expected to, seems religion is a soft spot these days, anywho, you kinda go a little antichrist after listening to Deicide and Slayer for a few days straight.

So anywho, school has been like school is, with the teachers and such, I had to do an oral that was meant to go for 3 to 4 minutes but I got to 6 and a half O.o which I found quite amazing cause I hate orals, so I'm hoping I will get a decent mark.

Life is being as life is, with the living, breathing, no seeing, no feeling, and well the breathing sometimes stops, but yes, that's life for you, nice and lifey

I Døden finnes all makt

Easter was alright I guess, with the going away and spending money and FINALLY buying a mesh shirt, with all it's meshy goodness, I have to be at work in an hour, my boss is/has left so now I only have Kathrin which is like w00t on a stick cause she doesn't bitch at me when I fuck up, so HOPEFULLY when we get a new boss it won't be some evil whorebitch that doesn't like me.

Reiser vi for aldri å komme igjen

I AM BORED! hahaha, AND I'm so damn funny, just look at the way I write my journal, I'm FUCKING HILARIOUS!......well, that was short lived, I want to be drunken, VERY drunken, I figure when I am drunken I MAY be able to write something else to submit for you lovely people to ignore, but what the hey, I ignore most of everyone elses work so we're even, MAYBE if I didn't have stupid dialup I wouldn't but till then, it will be unappreciated by me >.<

Der frosten fryser din siste
Tåre…

I don't really have much more to say, if you don't understand short verses inbetween my journal entry-ness paragraphs then GO TRANSLATE THEM AND QUIT BEING LAZY, got to love Dimmu Borgir, take care all you lovely people, and don't forget to breathe(it's a health hazard)

Men konge ble han ikke ]]> ~X-Emo-Boy-X http://X-Emo-Boy-X.deviantart.com/journal/7968006/ http://X-Emo-Boy-X.deviantart.com/journal/7968006/ Wed, 22 Feb 2006 02:27:44 PST
I'm FINALLY back, new and improved with all new buttons and functions AND now with pullstring action, with 3 sayings quoted from songs, pull my string and hear classics like 'Carve me up, slice me apart, suck my guts, lick my heart' and 'Burn your gods and kill the king, Subjugate your suffering' and who could forget the classic 'all the cowards hide, as their puppets dance they laugh, the pull the strings'* With all new clothes and accesories.**

So, enough of promoting myself, I'm back, accept it, school is still sucking the giant horse cock, it has come to my attention that there MAY be skater fags living down the road from me, woopty doo, do they not quit, JEEZ

I miss all my loyal peoples, we must get together some time, and have a gathering of TREMENDOUS proportions, or just something small, whatever tickles your place of choice.

I ain't wrote anything for a while, mainly cause whatever I start I hate and delete, so it gets as far as

Another falling teardrop
Leaves a stain upon the floor
I never wanted for this
But I've never wanted more

....and then BAM, just like that another scream and it's gone, gah, pain in the orifice of choice

So anywho, I really can't be fucked typing this, so reply and we shall have a good ol' chat to pass the time....love you all xxxxxx ***








*Limited Warranty-I will not be subject to any replacements/repairs, any fault found whilst enjoying me is merely your own fault, fuck you god and rot. **Cowboy hat will cost a further $2.50
***Except you skaterfags, yall can suck my penis and die ]]> ~X-Emo-Boy-X http://X-Emo-Boy-X.deviantart.com/journal/7529957/ http://X-Emo-Boy-X.deviantart.com/journal/7529957/ Fri, 06 Jan 2006 19:49:51 PST
(Dedicated To Lucy, May She One Day Get Laid) XD

Love you Lucykins ]]> ~X-Emo-Boy-X http://X-Emo-Boy-X.deviantart.com/journal/7432674/ http://X-Emo-Boy-X.deviantart.com/journal/7432674/ Tue, 27 Dec 2005 15:45:43 PST
1) Fifth grade teacher's: Mrs Ryan and umm that other lady >.<
2) Last words you said: either a moan/grunt or goodnight (moan/grunt caused by parentals waking me up to turn the music down)
3) Last song you sang: Don't sing
4) Last person you hugged: Zoe
5) Last person you liked: Zoe but I still do, does that mean it's not right O.o
6) Last time you said I don't remember: yesterday
9) What color socks are you wearing: white and black O.o
10) What's under your bed right now?: Childhood crap
11) What time did you wake up today?: 3am....then 7:30
12) Current taste: pizza
13) Current hair color: blue black
14) Current Crush: is it possible to have a crush if your with someone, and would it still be a crush if your with the person?? hmm hmm hmm yeh got you thinking there
15) Current annoyance: The regaining of my insomniatic type sleeping
16) Current longing to see: Zoe
17) Current desktop background: greyish colour with a sun shape saying Eclipse (Style XP default background for Eclipse theme)
18) Current worry: life
19) Current hate: life
20) Current favorite articles of clothing: clothes suck the penis
21) Favorite physical features of the opposite sex: Eyes and skin colour
22) Last CD that you listened to?: Tankt-Club Life
23) Favorite place to be: With my zoe
24) Least favorite place: work (FUCK YOU ROBYN!)
25) Time you wake up in the morning? first or second or third time I wake up?
27) Favorite color(s): black and black, and sometimes a little black
28) Do you believe in an afterlife: I beleive that once you die you become nothing...kind of a mind fuck to imagine....cause you can't...yehhh, think about it
30) Current favorite word/saying: intercourse (replace fuck with intercourse) e.g Shut the intercourse up your intercoursing intercourseface
31) Current favorite book: I have no favorite book
32) Favorite season: Winter
33) One person from your past you wish you could go
back and talk to: no-one
35) Where do you want to go for uni?: that's like 2 years away, I'm more intent on getting the scotch taste out of my water bottle at the moment
36) What is your career going to be: Porn star/prostitute (I go for $25 an hour now )
37.) How many kids do you want: none
HAVE YOU EVER..

39) Said "I love you" and meant it: yes
40) Gotten in a fight with your dog/cat/bird.etc?: Not mine but DEFINITELY with mitch's cat, I bit it good
41) Been to New York: No
42) Been to Florida: Nein
43) Been to California: Non
44) Been to Hawaii: Não
45) Been to Mexico: No
46) Been to China: no
48) Dreamed something really crazy and then it
happened the next day: My dreams always happen, just not the next day
52) Do you have a crush on someone: Depends if I can be with someone I have a crush on at the same time
54) Worst feeling in the world: Knowing you've fucked up really bad
55) What is the first thing you think when you wake
n the morning: shit, where am I
56) How many rings before you answer: depends
57) Do you sleep with a stuffed animal: no but my pillow is stuffed with some form of stuffing type stuff
60) What's your middle name?: Raymond
61) When do you fall asleep? When I'm tired enough to pass out
62) Do you have a brother/sister?: One sister
64) Do you do drugs?: No...not even prescription, fucking health system
68) What are you most scared of: A certain incident re-uccuring
69) What clothes do you sleep in?: Whatever I'm wearing
70) Who is the last person that called you: zoe
71) Where do you want to get married: anywhere but a church
72) Do you like yourself: Some days
73) Who do you hate: People that are so simple minded they judge by outside appearances
74) Been In Love: yuppers
75) Are you timely or always late: Depends, if it's english I'm always late
76) Do you have a job: Dimmeys >.< well probably not for long (FUCK YOU ROBYN!)
77) Do you like being around people?: If I know them yes, if not then not really
78) Best feeling in the world?: Being asleep and those perfect moments where everything is alrite in the leadup to umm....yeh
80) Are you a health freak: fuck no
81) Do you have a "Type" of person you always go for?: well so far it seems to be the dressed in black manic depressive types with past issues
84) Ever afraid you'll never get married: nope
85) Do you want to get married: don't care
86) Do you want ki... ]]> ~X-Emo-Boy-X http://X-Emo-Boy-X.deviantart.com/journal/7232313/ http://X-Emo-Boy-X.deviantart.com/journal/7232313/ Mon, 05 Dec 2005 18:54:38 PST
I haven't been ably to wade through the many deviations posted, mainly cause I'm too lazy, and secondly cause I'm too spaced out to make constructive comments on anything

Yet again I have noticed I only post a journal every 2 to 3 weeks and when I do I just ramble and bitch about everything

I'm hoping to see you all soon, I really can't think of anything to write, I have only submitted one piece of work in the last month or so, which was shit anyway so it doesn't count

Still reminiscing about past stuff, people, times, places, it's all just so depressing to think back to when everything was perfect, fun, all the good times with people, and then to look at now, all I have is my continual dissociation trip mixed with my lack of reality all topped off with depressionistic mood swings and reminiscing. To make it oh so much more interesting whenever I get dejavu I don't see it as some coincidence I completely switch off and wonder if this is the point where I die, and much to my dissapointment I do this at least 5 times a week now

I haven't heard back from the psych or the people I was getting refered to which is good I guess, but I know they talked to mom the other day, and possibly had an appointment

I can't wait until the human race wipes itself out, just to show it's own stupidity, despite the searing pain of flesh being burnt away or dying from asphyxiation from chemicals I will laugh just to know what a fuckup of a race we really were.

This eternal accusation against Christianity I shall write upon all walls, wherever walls are to be found - I have letters that even the blind will be able to see... I call Christianity the one great curse, the one great intrinsic depravity, the one great instinct of revenge, for which no means are venomous enough, or secret, subterranean and small enough, - I call it the one immortal blemish upon the human race...

F.W. Nietzsche ]]> ~X-Emo-Boy-X http://X-Emo-Boy-X.deviantart.com/journal/7102174/ http://X-Emo-Boy-X.deviantart.com/journal/7102174/ Mon, 21 Nov 2005 03:48:08 PST
I really don't get it, all I do is have an hour or so session with a pyschiatrist and I instantly become a threat to society, I mean, dammit, I already knew I was messed up but did they have to go and fucking bring in this smarmy arsed cunt of a student to sit and 'observe' how a session goes, not only that, but what I said to become a threat to society, the prick nearly started laughing, as did the psych and my counselor, great fucking help you's are, so now I yet again have lost all faith in their shit service due to their undertrained and stupid methods where they not only make me feel like shit for what I tell them, but further it by telling me to think about it and virtually telling me I'm fucked up, I mean, they know I'm partially depressed and have attempted suicide, what do they think smirking at me and telling me to think about what I've told them is really going to achieve, do they really think that I'm going to have a sudden relapse on my whole life, turn around and become a good christian boy, fuck no, instead I'm left feeling the worst I have in so long and on a scale of 1 to 10 on the suicidal charts they left me on a 9

School finishes in like 4 days, I don't know whether to be happy or not, all it means is I'm stuck at home to wallow in my self pity, possibly alone, but I seriously doubt that one, but then again, it doesn't matter, I am losing what's left of these emotions now anyway, just going by the impulses again, I'm so tempted to just delete this whole journal and not post it, but I spose I might as well finish it and give you all something to read, which I imagine you probably don't read it anyway due to it's long and irritating dribble

Conformism will be the death of us all.... ]]> ~X-Emo-Boy-X http://X-Emo-Boy-X.deviantart.com/journal/6950802/ http://X-Emo-Boy-X.deviantart.com/journal/6950802/ Fri, 04 Nov 2005 04:53:53 PST
I sit here pondering, the human mind, is emotion and thoughts really something special, or is it just impulses in the brain causing reactions which result in word, actions etc. when you think of it that way life in itself seems so incredibly pointless, like hey, I'm not even real, I don't act in any special way, I just do what the impulses tell me to, so then should we not be able to get a hold on these emotions, control them, master the way we feel until we are so tame that we can construct any emotion or action at the mear thought, but then that just brings it back to the beginning, that it's only impulses

If your walking down the street, and you see an old lady or a small child fall to the ground, do you

a)stop and help them up
b)feel guilty for not helping or
c)repeatedly kick them until they fall unconscious

I imagine most of you answer either a or b, now take the same instance, replace the old lady or small child with someone your age that has been abusing you since primary school, would you still do a or b, I imagine not, you would want to kick the shit out of them, all because of fucking impulses, all we do is what our impulses tell us to, it's like fucking conformism in our own minds, the one place we think we can escape to and now it's no longer our own, it's the impulses place

We have nothing, we are nothing, we will never be nothing, the harsh truth, so depressing, so sad, but I feel no sadness, nor happiness, just complete and utter fucking emotionless while I type this senseless dribble, maybe some of you will understand it, maybe some will shrug it off as just more shit from that fucked up kid, but I don't fucking care whether you acknowledge or shrug it, I know it's true, it's just whether you can accept the fact that we don't control our own lives is the thing here

Does anyone else know what it's like to be emotionless, to feel no remorse, no guilt, just nothingness, to have someone holding onto you crying while you don't shed a tear, don't say a word, just revel in your thoughts and feel nothing, is it wrong to want to be alone sometimes? lately I can't stop thinking about dying alone, just leaving a pitiful note saying goodbye and just die, the thought goes through my mind so much now, some days I just wish I could curl into a ball and just be ignored by everyone, to just further the theory on human relations, but then there is no theory, with my beleif now nothing is real, no one is real, I am not real, this is impulse

With that I bid you goodnight, take care my impulse led children, may we some day die emotionless and alone, the way we were intended to, and then sink into complete nothingness *blows kisses to my lovelys* ]]> ~X-Emo-Boy-X http://X-Emo-Boy-X.deviantart.com/journal/6778422/ http://X-Emo-Boy-X.deviantart.com/journal/6778422/ Sat, 15 Oct 2005 21:22:58 PDT
*hand twitches slightly*

*thumb pushes into forefinger*

*slight back and forward motion*

*sighs deeper*

*eyes roll back in anticipation*

*motion violently increases*

*sharp breath followed by halt of breathing*

*body arches in writhes*

*eyes blur and stare through everything*

*a minute passes*

*body falls limp to bed*

*arms wrap hopelessly around self*

*eyes close and a single tear emerges*

*tear rolls down cheek and splashes on bed*

*eyes slowly open and stare*

*releases sigh* ]]> ~X-Emo-Boy-X http://X-Emo-Boy-X.deviantart.com/journal/6594286/ http://X-Emo-Boy-X.deviantart.com/journal/6594286/ Sat, 24 Sep 2005 22:32:55 PDT
Does anyone else find everything to just be the hugest fucker of a thing right now, I mean, by the time I finish typing this and have posted it I won't even remember what I've said, moreso I can't even remember the start of this paragraph....FUCK *cries*

I'm getting distressed, but wait, no, I can't be getting distressed, cause I am emotionless and disociating, so where the fuck does that leave me? well I could try and answer it, but I will get confused, but what the hell I might as well, being emotionless and distressed leaves me fucked, completely and utterly fucked, I mean, I do all this shit, and not realise, I drank mom's alcohol, she comes home, I just go, 'yeh there was no softdrink and cruisers are fizzy so I had to drink them, depressing aye?' I said that to my mother, like dammit, I walked around naked under a bath robe, mom comes home and I walk out, 'yeh I was about to do the dishes when I finish eating, and I'm naked under here cause my clothes are on the line' that my good people is one thing that I would never do in my 'right' mind...EVER

So now I'm in pain, distressed, upset, but I am disociating so that just makes it all better now, doesn't it? I guess not, I can't even fucking disociate without messing it up, I can still feel pain, but then lose everything else *sighs*

Did anyone find Simon's to be fun and confusing and amusing and just good altogether like I did? well you should, cause it was, except someone should have stopped me from drinking that 'coke' in the morning, cause going to work tipsy ain't the best idea, especially when your supervisor/boss person is teaching you something new about invoices and then gets you up on a ladder to get a rug down which you find difficult whilst not drinking, so yeh, I nearly fell off the ladder, even though it was like a 3step ladder, I'm glad mom didn't notice the fact that I smelt like alcohol and cigarettes when she picked us up, hehehe, stupid dad got a ticket, how dumb of him, amusing though, did I go to sleep in the car? wait, only Zoe and Heather can answer these questions.....dammit, oh well, confused *sighs and cries*

*cries for no apparent reason* I should go lay down, I don't want to, I want to sit here and bitch, but I don't want to bitch, bitching just makes me feel worse, FUCK *cries*

I'm going to lay now, or die, sleep, music, the pc hums for me, not you, is this all I have left, confusing words, ones that I won't know about in the morning, is there more, or not, maybe I will just go to sleep and die, I don't want to die, there are too many people I need and want to live for, but then again, what's the point in living, if I don't know I'm alive....

Jeez, sounds like a fucking suicide note here, well it's not, so don't get worried or anything, I'm fine, fine as I will be that is, which you judge as to just how fine that is, thinking, words, do they really have any significant meaning, how did they get their meanings, sounds etc. like is the sky meant to be called the sky, are the colours right, is the word for colour even the right word, ultimately nothing I am typing should make sense, nothing is this world should, but us being the fuckstains we are have labeled it all to suit ourselves, fuck I hate humanity, bastards, and yes I am aware that I am part of humanity, and despite that, I still hate humanity, as I hate myself, and for being part of humanity

Do you think there are candies for disociation, moreso do you think if there are candies I would be able to get some? I get the feeling I wouldn't, fucking doctors don't beleive anything I say, probably just think I'm some drug abusing emotional child that just makes up shit to get free prescriptions....if your one of those doctors and are reading this then FUCK YOU, I hate it, all I want is some kind of candy to make it better, but no, they just tell me I will get over it or to try some more exercise or something like that because we can't prescribe you anything or we think that you don't need anything, but like, what the fuck, would I really go to the doctor if I have one bad nights sleep, no, I went there after like a month, maybe more of constant nights where I would wake up a minimum of 4 times and not be able to sleep until I pass out I'm so tired, and I get nothing for it, just told to exercise more and it will go away, well fuck me, I still have it, and it's not going away

I will end this here, cause I don't know how much I have typed, or what it's about, whether it will offend or not, sorry if it does, to the people I love then take care and stay safe, to the ones I hate, why are you reading my journal go fuck yourself with razors and die, cheery ain't I? yes... ]]> ~X-Emo-Boy-X http://X-Emo-Boy-X.deviantart.com/journal/6530382/ http://X-Emo-Boy-X.deviantart.com/journal/6530382/ Sat, 17 Sep 2005 16:38:50 PDT
So, camping, did anyone else find camping to be immensely fun? well if you didn't you suck, and quit ruining my fun *pouts* I found it quite amusing, except maybe the swimming, cause it was so damn cold, but then I guess Zoe kept me warm, well until she fell over >.< (nothing sus intended there) Thankyou for dragging me into the water, and the loaning of your pants *shifty eyes* your the bestest

All I need to know now is, where DID my vodka end up? I'm very curious about that, but at least you beautiful people paid me for it so it wasn't a complete loss, but dammit, you cheap asses, why did no one pay for my whoring services? *pouts* I am very disapointed in you all *shakes head* I was even going cheap aswell >.<

I must ask this of all of you, if anyone is smoking around me, DON'T let me steal your cigarette, with my whole 'urgh fucking hell sickness sucks penis' type dealy on thursday afternoon, which was followed by my *giggles and speaks incoherently while snatching at a lighter, nikko, can of RID and bottle of mountain due whilst twitching* so yeh, hehehe, it amused me after, but I don't like that kind of sickness, and hyperventilating then completely stopping breathing sucks O.o

So, holidays, yes, damn, only another week left till school, what is everyone doing in the last week? cause I don't want to be stuck home alone sitting on my ass so bored that I find amusement in catching spiders and trying to make them breed...not that I have tried before and found it fun*shifty eyes* I had to work yesterday, which was alrite cause Kathrine was there, and she is nice, which is good, and Zoe came and visited me, yay for my awesome visitors! oh but dammit, fucking little kids tempting me to steal them, this little baby made noises and stared at me, then this toddler is like watching me, and I was like hmm, do I steal it or not *restrains self*

This is probably getting long and boring as hell, so I will stop soon, I got my surround sound for my room, yay, and it's loud and pretty, and I had it really loud at 2am this morning, yay, my parents went to a wedding yesterday so I had the house to myself, mmm, three pizzas, amazingly I nearly ate 1 and a half, and as there being a lack of softdrink I had to drink mother's cruisers...shhh

Oh well, have a nice holidays everyone, feel my affection dammit *shakes fist* luv you all ]]> ~X-Emo-Boy-X http://X-Emo-Boy-X.deviantart.com/journal/6428280/ http://X-Emo-Boy-X.deviantart.com/journal/6428280/ Tue, 06 Sep 2005 01:13:10 PDT
Well, has anyone ever had Nervatone? (if that's how you spell it) I am now on it, thanks to mother going and getting some, it tastes sweet, and I'm not sure if it is the Nervatone or what, but I am going light headed, and am now incredibly naucious, grr, I can't spell that word, I am having severe bouts of nausia, yeh, I can spell that one, I think

Wow, this is my 30th journal entry, I only noticed that before while I was looking at my front page thing and it said 29 journal entries, and I was like 'wow, 29, I don't remember that many'

Urgh, my nausia is getting worse, I can feel the vomit coming up my throat, it is cold and weird, cause like shouldn't it be hot, coming from inside me, and moreso from my stomach? but then again I did have ice before, mmm, drinking ice to be precise, like has anyone here seriously heard of drinking ice before?

Today was quite shit, with the whole being rather depressed and losing all reality and contact with my body, which left me walking while my mind was off somewhere else, luckily I didn't trip or walk into anyone/anything, I was not too happy that Zoe's teacher gave her a detention and a truancy call and made her stay in class, so I was left sitting down at O Block, but I amused myself with music, and writing a full page of drivvle, I'm not sure what it was about, but I finished the last few words when Zoe got there, so then we left, and then she couldn't come down town, so I was bummed about that, and had to walk alone, and fucking Travis, he says hi, and stuff, then he's like, hey, can you show me your wrists, so I show him, and then he's like, did you want to die, and I just stared at him, and said as calmly as possible 'if I wanted to die I wouldn't have done a half ass attempt and I wouldn't be here' people these days and their dumb ass questions *shakes head*

I am really hoping that I can go camping with you's peoples in the holidays, at least now I know where it is so mother should probably let me, being closer and all then like Inskip or something like that unrelated, but last night I was reading the Necronomicon, and for those who don't know what it is, don't ask me, cause I am not too sure myself, but it makes for interesting reading, and maybe I can try some of the things in it or not, depends on how much effort they take

I think my mind is broken, see I said mind, cause if I said brain, that is refering to the physical attribute, the thing inside my skull, but saying mind means what is actually inside, the mental state etc, so yeh, anywho, I think it's broken, like what kind of normal 15year old boy thinks of the stuff I think of, and Dr. Mian, if you are reading this, I do not mean the kind of stuff we talked about tuesday, this is deeper, so very much deeper, and disturbinger O.o, anyway, most of you probably know a little of what I mean, with the small children type thing...fucking small children taunting me

Oooh, back to the Nervatona, I have taken the second dose, and it is making my whole body feel so nice, fun, and so nice, and it's sweet, I am going to stop here, this journal is getting long, love all you awesome people ]]> ~X-Emo-Boy-X http://X-Emo-Boy-X.deviantart.com/journal/6394254/ http://X-Emo-Boy-X.deviantart.com/journal/6394254/ Fri, 02 Sep 2005 04:43:19 PDT
So, this week has been amusing and confusing, they should join those words and make one big word, I can't think of anything it would be though, so help me out here, mmm, I'm bored, someone come and amuse me, what is everyone doing this weekend, I'm working saturday afternoon, well it's not even really afternoon cause I start at 12:30 till 4:30 which is crap, cause I hate working in the afternoons, means I gotta clean up, and cleaning up sucks penis

Yeh, look, I submitted more crap, I mean literally, what I submitted sucks, except I do kind of like Infant Feast, it amused me, moreso cause it is semi based on a dream I had, and.....other things, thoughts as such, hehehe, damn small children, their just so small, and abductable *shifty eyes*

Jeebuz, did anyone else see that, someone signed in and I could have sworn that small child in their display picture was naked, now that is just too weird, there are like small children everywhere, it's like they are purposely there to tempt me, their like 'come on chris, abduct me, you know you want to' and I'm like, 'no small child, quit tempting me or I'll gut you' little children are so mean to me, tempting me and all

I'm getting broadband, yay, in five weeks though but oh well, it's broadband so I guess I can wait, then be happy and download pointless music and crap, hmm, that reminds me, I want more music, so send me all your music, and I will grace you with my presence XD

OH FUCKING FOR FUCKING FUCKS FUCK, is it TOOO much to ask for a comfy damn chair, this chair is killing my ass, and cause I'm tired and falling sleep I keep hitting the wrong keys, so soon I am just going to break down and cry cause I'm frustrated, but at least I will sleep, dammit, now my head hurts from being frustrated, damn shitty chairs *pouts*

I'm listening to The Juliana Theory, it's just so non heavy screaming style, which kind of freaks me out, with the whole thing how I like uber screaming with lyrics you can't understand unless you read them lots of times, but then still have difficulty understanding them, mmm, so peaceful, now just to cut out my brain, cause it is hurting me

I can't think of anything else, oh yeh, what is up with people, this one guy, I don't know who he is, but he won't stop staring at me, like it's either he wants to fuck me then and there, and bash me, like I wish he would just fucking decide and do it, I don't like being stared at by people, well some people it's alrite, cause at least you know they are probably raping you with their eyes or about to steal something of yours, but this guy is just fucking weird, jordan, what the fuck, if he was meant to punch me, then why didn't he, people these days, like for fucks fucking sake, he wanted to, he was on my damn bus and he didn't do it, ahh, in all my time, I still have yet to be bashed by anyone

Well yes, my rant for today, goodnight people who I know and are awesome to me, look ---------> a hug for you all ]]> ~X-Emo-Boy-X http://X-Emo-Boy-X.deviantart.com/journal/6374977/ http://X-Emo-Boy-X.deviantart.com/journal/6374977/ Wed, 31 Aug 2005 03:54:40 PDT
Well, as most of you probably know, I am no longer with my girlfriend, 8months we were together, but no longer, and for the first night, this sounds really bad, but for the first night in at least a month I had a full nights sleep, no waking up at 2am and trying to fall asleep and failing, so yay, go me, this was the night we broke up, and all 'that' stuff happened....

Someone must take me somewhere and get me drunk, cause dammit, I need drunken-ness, I even have money now to pay for my own alcohols instead of drinking everyone elses....even though that is more fun

Hopefully, when I get back there won't be like millions of comments and devations, cause it takes me like 1hr to go through about 10comments, literally, I checked the clock one day >.< Dammit, it will suck so much with no internet, I will be forced to lay around, and actually do something >.<

I can't think of anything else, I guess I will be back in a week or 2, take care all you awesome people, and you better take me to get drunk or I will be throwing sticks at you *glares and shakes fist* ]]> ~X-Emo-Boy-X http://X-Emo-Boy-X.deviantart.com/journal/6303499/ http://X-Emo-Boy-X.deviantart.com/journal/6303499/ Tue, 23 Aug 2005 04:33:07 PDT
Do you want to know how I am? well I'm going to tell you, I'm going through like my emotional/mental breakdown....again, and I can't stop it, so if I attack any of you, or do anything stupid, I apologize now

Also, if I just dissapear one day, for no reason, no note, nothing, then just presume I have forgotten who I am and why I'm here and that I have walked off, most likely to die in a hole

Oh, also, if I turn up dead, oops, you's were all great, but I guess great people just aren't enough, but then again, no ones saying I will turn up dead, or anywhere near it, I may just sit around, fuck around, just become a fat slob conformist and slave to this worlds shit

I'm going to the doctor soon, maybe they will sort me out, I am going to ask for as many prescription drugs as I can, preferably something to knock me out when I wake up at 2am nearly vomiting and nearly screaming

I hope when I die that everyone realises something, not supposedly something bad, but they just realise something, maybe something they have done, had done to them, just realise something, so when I die, you better fucking realise something or I'm coming back for you

Who invented chainletters, I had 7emails, 6 of which were chainletters, 2 of which said someone called timmy was going to kill me, one day, if I keep getting them, I will make my own, saying

Hi, my name is chris, because of the constant chain letters and shit you people have been sending me, you have mentally fucked me, and I now beleive that I am a serial killer, also, because of my ultimate hacking skills, anyone who has received this email has had all their personal information stolen, yes, I know your name, address, birthdate, everything about you, and unless you send this to 20people in the next 5minutes, I am going to track you down and fuck you anally with a knife until you bleed to death....

So yeh, how do you think they will like that?

Well, that is all I can think of, but if I don't get to see you again, goodbye to you all my beautiful friends, I love you all! ]]> ~X-Emo-Boy-X http://X-Emo-Boy-X.deviantart.com/journal/6219720/ http://X-Emo-Boy-X.deviantart.com/journal/6219720/ Sat, 13 Aug 2005 21:03:58 PDT
Aren't journals such a awesome thing, it is like the one place where you can say whatever your small shriveled heart desires without an immediate insult directed at you and with enough time so that by the time someone has comforted you in words you are over it...well it's true you know

Well, does anyone else think this world is fucked beyond repair? well I do, and I don't just mean like certain little parts, like the current wars and poverty, I mean the WHOLE thing, down to the very last insignificant insect, it's like, the only animals which really have good intentions are ones that don't have the brain power or ability to rule this world, and I am classing humans as animals cause we are, so if you don't like it go cry, I'm serious...

Hehehe, I'm like a modern day Hitler, but with less hatred for religions, but still with the idea of creating a perfect world, but then as always that is flawed, I am against the whole conformist type thing, and to make a perfect world would mean everything would go the same, everyone would be the same, the same privelages, and death to anyone who disobeys, so to make a perfect world, would to make a conformist world, which I would hate, which just fucks it all up

I will just add this now, this is going to be a rather large journal full of things I have been thinking, so if you don't have the time or couldn't be bothered leaving a comment, then I suggest you stop reading here...

Now that that's out of the way, did anyone else go to the Amity Affliction concert and find it the biggest waste of $10 aswell? The music sucked, the socialising was good, but the music sucked, and what is the point of a concert if the music sucks, anywho, I got picked up around 10:40pm, which was around about the time anyone I knew had gone so I was left sitting on my own while being stared at by multiple wutangs and other people that hate me, one of which told me he saw me at school and was going ot bash me, but then had changed his mind, like what a fucktard...

Right now I am suffering from the biggest headache, I guess it serves me right for drinking really old warm brandy, oh well, vodka soon, then I can just lay around drinking all week until yet again the bottle is empty and I have to face reality....

I have just had a thought, I mean like one of my most biggest and possibly most homicidal and stupid thoughts, but fuck you, I like it, you see, what I do, as I discussed with nathan, we get 1kg of potassium cyanide, and stick it in Gympie's water supply killing virtually most of Gympie's population, then carrying back to my plan, then I walk around and individualy kill the rest of them, then go and do this in every town, and eventually the world, yeh, so that is how I will fix this world, I think that would be a pretty good entry for one of those 'In 50words or less tell us how you would fix the worl' dealies, so now give me my noble prize

If anyone hates me for any thing I have written above, then please don't hesitate to savagely assault me in the street, but remember to leave your name, address and phone number so I can deliver your prize, keep in mind your prize will be delivered between the hours of 11pm and 2am ]]> ~X-Emo-Boy-X http://X-Emo-Boy-X.deviantart.com/journal/6152727/ http://X-Emo-Boy-X.deviantart.com/journal/6152727/ Sat, 06 Aug 2005 19:23:08 PDT

Well, go me, FINALLY I got some vodka and a bunch of music, yay, so suck penis to all you with no vodka or music But this is sucking, I only got the vodka friday, and it's like nearly half empty, shh....

I'm thinking about going to get some movies, but I'm not sure if mom will take me, cause she's already been to town and got me subway, woot, but hopefully she will have sympathy cause I'm sick, gay thing is I am actually sick this time, without the fakingness, I am MEANT to be at work right now, except I'm not, cause I'm so sick, and turns out I was sposed to ring 30mins before I started to say I was sick, but can't really do that if I wake up at 8:40 and I'm starting at 9 .o: so I get a call from my boss at 9:15 and shes bitching about all this crap, so I just kept sayin 'yeh, sorry' and then went back to looking at cake

mmm, what else have I been doing, in case no one has noticed I have submitted some stuff, not much, I'm having the hugest mind blank, or I write it and don't think it's good enough so I throw it out, but I guess soon I will write something I like and submit it

mmm, umm, apart from that everything has been average and boring, well apart from all the stuff I don't want to go into detail about, woot, go me! I got studded condoms and gummy bears, studded condoms are funny looking, with the tiny studs and all .o:

Apart from that, I haven't done anything, umm, alcohol is awesome, and HOPEFULLY mom wil meet some of you awesome people soon, so then I can go drink with you all some time and lastly, I LOVE YOU ALL!!! (except the people I hate) ]]> ~X-Emo-Boy-X http://X-Emo-Boy-X.deviantart.com/journal/6008739/ http://X-Emo-Boy-X.deviantart.com/journal/6008739/ Fri, 22 Jul 2005 22:09:14 PDT I have found this site, [link] and its got like music and stuff, it is really awesome, well I think it is, so go look at it, heh, I'm not even getting paid to say that, mmm, do you think they would pay me to promote them?

Well I got many movies today, I would list them but there aren't that many and it takes effort to remember them. I'm so freakin tired, and I must be working tomorow, which will suck cause it's sunday and there will be all old people and stuff in town I just watched Party Monster, it was good, yeh, go watch it, NOW!

Isn't sanity a bitch of a thing? I reckon it is, like sanity and umm, whatever you call it, where you know what is real and what isn't, or maybe that is sanity O.o anywho, yeh, it's so gay, but now, thanks to my awesomeness, I'm starting to forget what is real and what isn't, and well pretty much everything else I do, fun, yay!

I don't know what else to crap on about, except, someone should come to town with me, cause no one could, and I was like grr, bastards, well I only rang one person and I was too lazy to ring others XD

Yeh, so have a great weekend, get drunk, get laid, do whatever the fuck you want, I don't really care, oh yeh, I am in a shitty mood and really upset ahh, bet you couldn't guess that, yeh, so, last words anyone, yes, I'll take those last words, 'fuck it' ]]> ~X-Emo-Boy-X http://X-Emo-Boy-X.deviantart.com/journal/5953021/ http://X-Emo-Boy-X.deviantart.com/journal/5953021/ Sat, 16 Jul 2005 17:44:37 PDT my subscription ran out, oh well, mother says if I can pay for a new subscription by cheque I can have one, yayness, but it will probably be Paypal or Credit so damn

Well, I submitted two new poems today, one as a deviation and another as a scrap, so go read them, read them now, I command you, this is quite fun, I'm uhh, copying a movie called, The Stepfather, and it shows what it's up to in copying, and it encodes 1sec of the movie at a time, and for 1sec of encoded movie it takes 2secs to encode it O.o so it's all jerky with no sound when u watch it, quite funny when someone dies

As for the thing with Emma in brisbane, she is still there, and will be for however long that month was, BUT, now I'm like not upset, or something, cause, in the week or so that I haven't seen her, I have forgotten what she looks like, what she sounds like, and pretty much everything about her, so it's like I don't even know her anymore, which is going to suck huge penis when she gets back, cause I'll prob be like O.O whos that? but hopefully once I see her I'll know who she is, I better, or I'll uhh, not let myself eat cookie dough

I got out a bunch of movies this weekend, and I'm like grr, cause I got the animated version of Alice In Wonderland except after 30mins it screws up and it's impossible to watch, so now I'm not happy about it, cause I really wanted to watch it, oh well, I guess I'll get it some other time, and I didn't go to town and throw studded condoms at Lucy *sob* I was too lazy to call Matthew and say we were going to town, so instead I went shopping with mother >.< ]]> ~X-Emo-Boy-X http://X-Emo-Boy-X.deviantart.com/journal/5929554/ http://X-Emo-Boy-X.deviantart.com/journal/5929554/ Thu, 14 Jul 2005 04:06:29 PDT
Apart from that, woopty-fucking-doo, I get to work weekends now at my uber cool awesome job at Dimmey's (sarcasm for the slow ones) I was hoping Emma would be back this week cause I get out of school at 2pm, so I was hoping that we could go to town or just sit around or anything, but NO, you fuckers had to keep her in hospital and fill her with mind fuck drugs and make her happy, if she comes back still depressed I am going to go to that hospital, and kill every single living thing in there, and rip out the intestines of anyone who treated her, then with their intestines I will tie them around their throats while they are still living, then toss their 3 quarter dead bodies out the top story window, and watch their blood and guts fly over the street, but before all this, I will walk in, scream as loud as I can 'FUCK YOU' then begin my murderous rampage

I just can't believe they won't even let me talk to her, I think I know why... it's probably my fault she did it, it's always my fault this kind of shit happens, they probably don't want her talking to me cause I'll upset her with my shit, fuck im hopeless, but I can't kill myself before she gets back, no, that is selfish, must wait it out, cry, do whatever, must wait it out, must see her, can't give in, must not die, musn't kill self, hehehe, fuck, I'm screwed

lastly, FUCK ALL YOU LEACHING BASTARDS I WILL FUCKING KILL YOU AND LEAVE YOUR DECAPITATED AND GUTTED CORPSE HUNG FROM THE FAN AND YOUR INSIDES RIPPED OUT AND SPLATTERED AROUND YOUR HOUSE, SO WHEN YOUR FAMILY COMES HOME THEY WILL SEE YOUR NAKED CORPSE DANGLING FROM THE FAN WITH THE STENCH OF YOUR FLUIDS AND GUTS DRIPPING FROM THE WALLS, WHERE I WILL WAIT DRENCHED IN YOUR BLOOD SITTING ON YOUR LIVING ROOM FLOOR, AND WHEN YOUR WIFE SCREAMS, I WILL SAY, 'IT'S NOT MY FAULT HE WAS A PRICK'

ok, *breathes* I think I'm okay now, if you didn't like that, then don't go, dammit chris that just disgusting, cause fuck off, i'm not happy, okay, yeh, sorry, argh, im going to sit around and die now, goodnight

]]> ~X-Emo-Boy-X http://X-Emo-Boy-X.deviantart.com/journal/5887974/ http://X-Emo-Boy-X.deviantart.com/journal/5887974/ Sat, 09 Jul 2005 17:00:12 PDT
Grrs, I took a bunch of pictures this morning, and I put the camera too close to what I was taking the picture of, and it turned out really blurry and crap, so now I'm going to have to take them all again some other day, cause I think I used all the red food colouring

Went to town yesterday and kicked Lucy in the butt, hehehe, then sat down and drank coffee with Lucy, then went to Essentials to buy some Dickies, and the ones I wanted costed $99 O.O, so now I have no Dickies oh well, did you know they make studded condoms? I didn't till we uhh, 'found' them, then we saw Monty in Woolworths, so we walked him home and then went to the video store to get Alice In Wonderland, which was out grr, damn people stealing my movie *shakes fist*

I was laying in bed this morning thinking it was like really late cause I kept falling asleep, I rolled over and looked at the clock and it was like 8:30am, and i was like, dammit, stupid sun, why dont you just catch on fire and burn to death, then I remembered the sun is like already on fire, stupid sun

What does gilded mean? they keep sayin it, and I don't know what it means, yeh, it's in that song, yeh, you know, that one, O.o Gilded Cunt by Cradle Of Filth, hehehe, i like this song

I got one of my belts off ebay, its quite perty, well I think it is, and I don't care if you other people don't like it, it's mine and i like it so bleh to you

Umms, I think I have english homework, but there is no way I'm doing it, we have to do something with these stories that I can't remember and we have to write this stuff I can't remember about them, so I'm screwed, meh, I'll just say I'm emotionally unstable, and ask if he was ever a guidance counselor, I tell you, people don't smile that much, it's just unnatural

That's all I can think of saying, yep, didn't even say anything bad in this one, go me!

]]> ~X-Emo-Boy-X http://X-Emo-Boy-X.deviantart.com/journal/5863716/ http://X-Emo-Boy-X.deviantart.com/journal/5863716/ Thu, 07 Jul 2005 05:23:33 PDT
so yeh, come with me tomorow and we will sit and be all *tear* dammit about this sucky ass world, yeh, so someone better come with me, even if I don't know who you are, and tomorow is Friday, if anyone can't tell, cause of this weird ass time system thing DA has here *shakes fist*

and I'm not going to say why I'm uber upset, cause I just ain't unless you ask me in a note thing, cause I don't want to post it all over my journal, so yeh, if you wan't to know about it, ask me in a note, and if you missed what I said, here it is again, ASK ME IN A FREAKIN NOTE!

Apart from that, please, PLEASE don't fuck me around, I am fed up with everything, and i promise if you piss me off i will hit you, and to most people who now me, i don't normally hit much, but yeh, grr, fuck off people

thats my journal, damn cheery aint it? yeh, so ill end it rite.....now ]]> ~X-Emo-Boy-X http://X-Emo-Boy-X.deviantart.com/journal/5787886/ http://X-Emo-Boy-X.deviantart.com/journal/5787886/ Wed, 29 Jun 2005 04:07:56 PDT [link]

I am really tired, I keep staying up till like 2am then trying to sleep in but failing and getting out of bed at 9am after I woke up at 6am, since my last journal I haven't done much, mainly slept and ate.

Ate tacos, mmm, I haven't had tacos in so long, so I got some, and they were really good, mmm, tacos, I want some more, and I'm also craving mcdonalds, eeew, so fatty, yet so tasty

I have to work tomorow, yep, I have a job, at Dimmeys >.< but it's still a job and I'm getting paid so bleh to all you who don't have a job and want money, hehehe

I have been tying up the phone line so much for the last week, I've been downloading pointless things to keep me amused, and now I'm in my, 'hey lets download a bunch of random music clips to watch repeatedly', so yeh, I've got 2 and a third downloading this very second. I got Duality and Wait and Bleed by Slipknot, and I'm currently getting Spit It Out, also by Slipknot, yay for Slipknot, I'm in my Slipknot phase, damn that's a lot of Slipknot for one sentence Slipknot

I got so bored today I drew random pictures, they are really bad cause I have no artistic talent at all, but my sister can paint and draw and all that stuff, but I can't even draw a stick figure without it looking retarted and inbred O.o

I just got this sudden urge to go to the video store and get really crap movies that I won't watch, mmm, I wonder if it's open, I don't think it is, or maybe it is, argh, I don't know, I don't think mom would drive me there anyway, cause I would go 'hey mother, can we go to macdonalds '

That's all I can think of, have a great holidays everyone, that's if your still in school and it's school holidays for you ]]> ~X-Emo-Boy-X http://X-Emo-Boy-X.deviantart.com/journal/5700895/ http://X-Emo-Boy-X.deviantart.com/journal/5700895/ Mon, 20 Jun 2005 04:19:50 PDT
Ahh, well that feels better, now all I need is someone to oppose me and a pen, so yeh, lets see, lately I have been on the shit side, everything sucks dick and if someone doesn't stop it soon then people will end up dead *twitch* shh....they don't know it yet

*twitch* today has been quite eventful, I was going to stay in bed all day and sleep, but yet again I came to my consciousness and found myself laying on my stomach fully awake, and hungry, and choking under the heavy feather doona while I tryed to live off the stale hot air from under it, oh yeh, and the rest has been filled with drinking to make it all seem alright, despite the fact that it's far from alright, also a bunch of other stuff that I would rather not go into detail about

I think I was meant to ring Lucy, sorry Lucy, I guess I forgot, and I was kind of pre-ocupied with my drinking, sobbing, and hating that fucker in the mirror, damn bastard won't stop looking at me

Well, I'll say this again to get my point across, everything sucks dick, not just midget dick but I'm talking about like elephant dick, it's just so fucked, and yet again, someone WILL end up dead if it doesn't get better, I would rather not say who though, that could just get me in a bit of trouble, oooh, got you guessing now don't I? Well if your reading this it ain't you, sorry to dissapoint you all

Well, if anyone hasn't noticed, I'm a bit on the depressed suicidal side, and to make it awesomer I can puke again, so maybe I can be a depressed suicidal anorexic little dipshit, but then again I think I'm almost there

read it, enjoy, fuck off, I don't really care ]]> ~X-Emo-Boy-X http://X-Emo-Boy-X.deviantart.com/journal/5672280/ http://X-Emo-Boy-X.deviantart.com/journal/5672280/ Fri, 17 Jun 2005 00:09:40 PDT [link] for passing the music baton to me

Total Volume: 7.79GB >.<

Last CD Bought: Deicide - Deicide

Song Playing Now: Children Of Bodom - Black Widow

Five Songs I Listen To A Lot, Or Mean A Lot To Me:

1. Skinlab - Disturbing The Art Of Expression
2. Kataklysm - Courage Through Hope
3. Arch Enemy - Behind The Smile
4. Children Of Bodom - Bed Of Razors
5. The Black Dahlia Murder - Closed Casket Requiem


Five People I'm Passing The Baton To:

1. The-Black-Sheep
2. LustofBlood
3. kiukirilya
4. Tinsel-Wig
5. pineapples ]]> ~X-Emo-Boy-X http://X-Emo-Boy-X.deviantart.com/journal/5643139/ http://X-Emo-Boy-X.deviantart.com/journal/5643139/ Tue, 14 Jun 2005 04:32:44 PDT
I know there is nothing going on that is bad, but yet everything is against me and it's just getting worse, why you ask, I don't know I answer, maybe someone has a grudge against me, maybe I did something bad and this is just payback, but whatever it is i don't like it, but hey, what can you do about it? nothing

Oh yeh, i forgot to mention what I said to mother to make her say they'll send me back to steve, I told her that if I don't get a decent amount from this sausage sizzle I'm doing in business im going to break a ruler and stab someone with it, because by fucking fuck, i have had to go to town, buy all the ingredients, bring all that shit to school, and if i get the same amount as everyone else then they can get fucked

And wheres my respect, hmm? no where u say, well I say to you 'GIVE ME SOME DAMN RESPECT YOU INCONSIDERATE BASTARDS!' yes, that's you im talking about, yeh, u want to know why we cut, it's the people like you that makes us cut, you and your constant names, asking us stupid questions, my advice is back the fuck off before one of us snaps, brings a gun to school, shoots u assholes, then kills themselves, prob seems unbelievable now, but just keep pushing, we'll show you, and if not a murder suicide, it will be just a plain good ol' fashion wrist slitting while hung, just to make it more dramatic, and just to give it that extra umpfh, written in black permanent marker it will say 'FUCK THE HATERS' in huge letters, and when u read it, you will know its u, u sick bastards

if u cant tell im pissed, well im not exactly pissed, im just having a bit of an emotional breakdown here, ill get over it, but hear this, keep fucking with me, and when i die im taking u bastards with me ]]> ~X-Emo-Boy-X http://X-Emo-Boy-X.deviantart.com/journal/5554665/ http://X-Emo-Boy-X.deviantart.com/journal/5554665/ Sat, 04 Jun 2005 19:53:44 PDT
Well, today, this here day of Sunday in the year 2005 of this month June, this here day is rather boring, haha, bet you thought I was going to say something meaningful, well I didn't so haha to you

I have the flu, how damn shitty is that, last night I went to bed at 11pm and from then till 6:30am I have been waking up every 30mins with burning eyes and a huge ass headache, not to mention my runny nose, so I'm quite pissed about that

Apart from the things everyone else can see like my butt ugly appearance and antisocial behaviour towards others, my life is slowing getting fucked in the ass so to speak, everything I have ever had has gone now, and what's left I don't want, like friends, I used to have a few, like 10 or something, now I have about, uhh, lets see, 0! haha, go me! k, what else, my childhood memories, yes, all those fun times when I was a lil munchkin, laughing, playing, learning all the things about life, GONE, I can't remember them except the bad moments, hell, I can barely remember this morning anymore, and lastly, my hold on life and reality, I have completely lost all sense of reality, now I don't know what is real and what is just a semi-hallucination

Lastly, I can't wait until I die, I know I shouldn't say that, but right now I am so fed up with everything that it can just get fucked and leave me to alone, well, school next week, if everything keeps going the way it is then I don't know if I'll end up going to my classes, but then if I don't I'll just sit around then get in trouble for skipping class, but then again, why should I care, so yes, FUCK IT, anything I don't like can go get fucked for all I care, just please make it stop

Well, read my outburst, comment, call me shit, I don't care, do what you want ]]> ~X-Emo-Boy-X http://X-Emo-Boy-X.deviantart.com/journal/5473170/ http://X-Emo-Boy-X.deviantart.com/journal/5473170/ Thu, 26 May 2005 23:30:06 PDT
This week has been greatly shit, first off, out of what I can remember, Lucy hasn't been in any german classes, except one I think, so I have been sitting alone and so damn bored, the most exciting thing in the lesson that I can look forward to when she isn't there is if the teacher comes to help me with my work

Second, Emma was there monday and tuesday, went to Brisbane wednesday, was away thursday, and then here today(friday), so I had to sit alone or talk to people I would much rather not socialize with, and instead of me being happy that she was there, I was just like 'meh' which I think was very mean of me

Right now I'm in an emo mood, well I think I am, maybe 'I'm just an attention seeking little emo faggot that cuts himself' as monty so often calls me, well to you monty, even though you will most likely never read this, GO GET FUCKED AND SUCK SOME COCK!

I now have 3 colours of eyeliner, black which I bought, pink which Emma bought, and white which Nathan so generously gave me, soon to be another red and grey, from Nathan, don't you just think he's the greatest, I do, lol

Did I mention FUCK ALL YOU HATERS OF ME! I think I might of, but I just like to say it, cause you know exactly who you are, and there are so many of you, you pricks, personally I hope not for your own death but the death of your mother or father, because for you to die it causes no pain, but to lose a loved one hopefully it will fuck your life so bad you will go into severe depression that lasts three years before you decide to kill yourself. Yeh, I know that is mean of me, but to hate me for no reason except I wear black is fucking stupid, so yeh, if you disagree tell me I'm a horrible person and that I deserve what I hope happens to them, which I know I do, but then again, I would probably just get on with my life

Heh, I made myself look like a chick, with the whole eyeliner, yeh, I wear eyeliner, you want to call me a faggot for that? go ahead, anywho, just a little outburst of hatred there, I was quite bored waiting for the computer to boot up so I put on more eyeliner and smudged it from the corner of my eyes, it looks pretty crap but you get that when your an untalented guy

Speaking of me being a guy, what is up with that, like why am I a guy and not a girl, I think there are some girls out there that I am more of a girl than they are, with the whole nailpolish and eyeliner, not to mention being bi, so it's just like I'm a girl, except this 'thing' between my legs, but hey, what can you do about it, sex change maybe, but that is just a little bit too far I reckon, so I will just stay as a 'faggot punker' as I have been labeled, oh yeh, and FUCK YOU HATERS!

Can someone PLEASE answer what the hell is up with homophobes and people that hate gays, like get a fucking life, it's so stupid to want to hurt someone for liking someone of the same sex, like some lesbian that talked in our P.E class a few years ago, her girlfriend got her jaw broken for being lesbian, what kind of sick fuck would do somehting like that, I think if you truly love someone it shouldn't matter whether they are the opposite sex or the same sex, if you love them you love them, that's just the way it is, so once again, FUCK YOU HOMOPHOBES AND HATERS! actually not so much the homophobes, cause that is more of a phobia of gay people, but if they turn violent and abusive to gay people then fuck them too

Oh, and if anyone is getting offended by my constant use of the word fuck, then either stop reading, put up with it, or take a screenshot, paste it then edit out every fuck in my journal, cause it is MY journal and I will say what I want, but personally, I am sorry if it offend anyone

I have black jeans, yeh black, and they aren't really crap tight fitting with the whole queerness about them, they did have a label on the butt but I unstitched it so they look kind of normal now, well normal enough for me, I've been thinking, other people that live here in Gympie know how it's small, and is quite a hole, I'm thinking that someone should come here and open a shop like Hot Topic, or Cruella, something that specialises in black clothing and accesories, I think it would be really successful

FUCK ALL YOU HATERS!

That is all I can really think of, I hope I didn't make it so long that you don't read it, leave a comment, cause I put lots of thought into this, so yeh, enjoy my ramblings ^^ ]]> ~X-Emo-Boy-X http://X-Emo-Boy-X.deviantart.com/journal/5404281/ http://X-Emo-Boy-X.deviantart.com/journal/5404281/ Thu, 19 May 2005 16:27:28 PDT
Well, my thought for the last week is 'Should I become a nudist?' lol, I'm thinking I can, cause everyone knows more fun can be had naked *wink* I mean, look at me right now, uhh, or maybe not, yeh so that is my thought, tell me if you think I should become a nudist

Into religion again, don't you just love that topic, well, if there are any christians that read this, then please tell me, why are you worshiping God as opposed to Satan, to what I can understand Satan never did anything wrong, or maybe he did, I've never read the bible (and don't plan on it anytime soon)

At school I have a few 'abstract' photos that I took during DMC, but I don't know how to get them onto this pc to submit them, so you will have to wait a while till I can submit them

Does anyone know why the site of naked flesh just makes you want to hack it up and just watch the blood flow freely? Cause I don't know why, but personally that is how I feel when I see nakedness, hack hack hack drip drip drip lick lick lick, see that is how it works, hack the flesh, watch it drip, lick the blood, I know that is a little disturbed but I am a disturbed boy, so you can't blame me

OH MY DEAR MUFFIN LORD! I never knew exactly how thin I was, well not until the other day, I was in my nudist phase, yet again, and I walked past the mirror, and I was like, AHHH! I am like so thin, if I didn't have to be totally naked and take a photo of me then I would show you just how thin I am, but well until I can make me naked look artistic then you ain't seeing me, and I don't think I will ever look artistic, it's kind of strange, my arms are different sizes, like thickness wise, because I broke my left arm twice in one year and it never healed properly, so now it is thin and scarred, and my right arm isnt, well apart from the wrist

Ive been eating fairy floss, it is like the awesomest food substance ever, just so expensive, so sticky, yet so damn good, I don't feel like anymore now though, I'm feeling rather sick from it, but I'll get over it then go back for more and get sick again

I don't think there is much more I can say, except I think I have a bunch of assignments and tests coming up next week, and I am not prepared for the tests and my assignments I probably havent finished yet

Anywho, have a great weekend everyone, and should I become a nudist? lol ]]> ~X-Emo-Boy-X http://X-Emo-Boy-X.deviantart.com/journal/5361434/ http://X-Emo-Boy-X.deviantart.com/journal/5361434/ Sun, 15 May 2005 03:56:12 PDT
Righty-o then, time for more rambling in my journal that no one wants to read, WELL, I did the mowing this afternoon, kind of, I did most of it but then it got too dark to see so I had to stop, guess I'll have to do it tomorow, which will suck the big one, cause I won't want to do it, and today I didn't realise I was doing it, so yeh, hard labour for lil chris

Has anyone seen the movie Ginger Snaps? well I have, so I went and got what I thought was the 2nd one, well NO, it was the 3rd one, and it made no effing sense, it was like the 2 main charactes, Ginger and Bridgette, but they were back in time! (suspenceful music) dun-dun-duuun, right, how gay of me, anywho, yeh, they were back in time, and that don't make a lick of sense, cause how could they be in our time in the first one but back in time in the 3rd one, like wouldn't they be hella old in the first one? HMMM, I reckon they did it to try and make money, tricky bastards they are

Let's ramble about music, I like music, right now I'm listening to Wishful Thinking, I don't know what song it is cause for some UKNOWN reason the name won't come up, HOW LAME, but I like the song, yeh, they are good, go get their cd, or download it, do something, I don't care what, just listen to them, cause their good, but I have the feeling they might be on the christianish side, and I AM NOT into that, I don't know why, but for a band to sing about God and Jesus angers me, angers me greatly

Hey, let's talk about religion, oooh, such a controversial subject, personally I have no religion, don't want one either, just makes things harder, when I was younger I believed in the whole God thing, like christian god, but now I'm like, 'If it is so good then why do bad things happen, is it that it is testing us, or does it just not give a shit about us?' when I say 'IT' im refering to God, just incase you didn't know, cause like does anyone really know if God is a male or female? PERSONALLY I think religion is bad, all it has ever done is made people hate each other and start wars, but then I guess for some people religion is all they have, so I say 'Go you religious people, chase your God, maybe if you search long enough one day you WILL actually meet them' see, aren't I just a super encouraging person?

well, thats movies, music, AND religion done, what else is there, mmm, oh yes, what I am wearing *winks* right now I am butt naked, okay, maybe I'm not, but I got you excited didn't I? huh huh? yeh I know you were getting excited, well right now I'm wearing the usual black pants and studded belt with a black t-shirt, BLACK, aint it a beautiful colour?

That is all I can think of putting, there is more I could add but I fear if I do then you will stop reading before you reach this, even now you probably won't read this, so yeh, I can say what I wan't and you won't read it, mwahahaha, YOU ALL SUCK!!! nah, I'm just kidding, you guys are great, except YOU *points at mirror* ]]> ~X-Emo-Boy-X http://X-Emo-Boy-X.deviantart.com/journal/5241749/ http://X-Emo-Boy-X.deviantart.com/journal/5241749/ Sun, 01 May 2005 23:33:04 PDT
How has everyone been? I don't know why I ask that, It's not like anyone is going to reply saying that they are fine or whatever

I am MEANT to be going to get some movies but mom is all meh cause I don't want to do my assignment yet, and she says I can't go till I do it, so I'm like FUCK THAT! so I will do it when I feel like it

Last night i came down from my high and I came down bad,SO bad that I didn't even have any pizza, from 7onwards I didn't leave my room and cried for 3quarters of that time, I also had this little obsession with choking, which showed very much last night, I am kind of over the emoness now, but I still have the feeling of deserving nothing, which I'm sick of...

I learnt my most important lesson, I can sit inside my cupboard!

Also, how can someone be judged on their state of mind by seeing a counselor once a week? everytime I go to my counselor I'm normally having a good day, and he says unless I show serious signs of depression then I won't have to go back to see him anymore, WOOPTY FUCKING DOO! So pretty much just cause I look happy on the outside and lie about things he asks me it makes me perfectly fine, no drugs for little chris, but then again, why would I want his mindfucks(antidepressants) I think I would get more help from a puppy and a packet of Skittles, at least the puppy is cute and the Skittles will make me go hypo for at least a couple hours

Everyone who reads this PLEASE go to the link I put below, it is to my friends page, so don't just go meh and click off, GO THERE, I'm not sure exactly how to do it so I'll just type the link to his page

Nathan
[link]

also go here

Emma
[link]

Lucy
[link]

Go there or else



Nuthing much else I have to say, except if you eat too much it makes you go all icky ]]> ~X-Emo-Boy-X http://X-Emo-Boy-X.deviantart.com/journal/5163362/ http://X-Emo-Boy-X.deviantart.com/journal/5163362/ Sun, 24 Apr 2005 00:31:15 PDT
I feel a little sick...like I'm going to repaint the walls in puke...

Today I worked for about 9hrs building a verandah deck thing...it was acutally kind of fun...a little hot though...turns out the sun rises on the side of the house we were building on...but the sunrise was so awesome...I wish I had a camera to take some pictures

Also there was this magpie...and it was like really tame...it was no more than 30cm away from me and didn't care that i was watching it...I also saw a toad...and it was black and red...I was kinda scared of it...not sure why...probably cause I think it tried to spit on me

Im having pizza for dinner...I don't know why though...I got home and mom had left a note saying 'pizza for dinner' and left $20 sitting under it...so I'm happy about that

I'm not happy about today though...I was standing on the verandah looking at my reflection...and as I stood staring at it I looked so out of place....everything was coloured and beautiful...and then there I was...straight black and ugly...well that is the way I saw it....I never see myself as good...I'm always the thing that shouldnt be there

I was thinking a lot today and I'm sad about it...apart from everything above about my reflection....I feel like I deserve nothing...like everything I have...my clothes..my house...this computer...access to the internet...my girlfriend...I feel like all of that is just given to me in sympathy of my pathetic existence...because that is all we are...pathetic beings in a pointless existence....when we are born we can't even take care of ourselves...then we learn simple skills and progress through life with them...then once we reach old age we slowly revert back to how we begun...fragile and weak...depending on everyone to take care of us...we are so fucking hopeless....but then look at animals....look at all those sea creatures like turtles...their mother buries the eggs in the sand....they hatch and have to make it to the sea without being eaten or killed then they must fend for themselves....I think that they shuold be the rulers of this world...not us

well that is my thoughts for this day....PLEASE leave a comment about my thoughts....but if you don't want to you dont have to...its all up to you

UPDATE: I HAVE HAD 200 PAGEVIEWS!!!! ]]> ~X-Emo-Boy-X http://X-Emo-Boy-X.deviantart.com/journal/5066570/ http://X-Emo-Boy-X.deviantart.com/journal/5066570/ Wed, 13 Apr 2005 00:15:54 PDT
Well, I slept at Nathan's AND I stayed up later then him, YAY, I'm very proud of that because ever since I met him he has always stayed up way later then me, but not this time

Today I started my counseling, the counselor, Steve, he seems pretty nice, I nearly got blinded by the freaking lamp he had on until I asked him to turn it off

I GOT A HAPPY MEAL AFTER VISITING THE COUNSELOR!!!

If you havent noticed from previous journal entries and a couple comments on other peoples art I really like happy meals

That is all I have really done, that I can remember

UPDATE: I HAVE 150 PAGEVIEWS ]]> ~X-Emo-Boy-X http://X-Emo-Boy-X.deviantart.com/journal/4928086/ http://X-Emo-Boy-X.deviantart.com/journal/4928086/ Sun, 27 Mar 2005 19:41:23 PST 1. Chris
2. Emo Boy
3. Wrissman

THREE SCREEN NAMES YOU HAVE HAD:
1. Emo-Boy
2. Goth-Munkee
3. I Have No Name

THREE THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. My eyes
2. I can write poetry...sometimes
3. My hair

THREE THINGS YOU DON'T LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. I screw up a lot of things
2. I have this voice in my head that won't shutup
3. I just don't like myself in general


THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:
1. Myself
2. The people that watch me
3. The voice in my head

THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
1. Clothes
2. Chocolate
3. Music

THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:
1. Studded belt
2. Studded dog collar
3. Black nailpolish

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE BANDS (or artists (at the moment)):
1. AFI
2. Rammstein
3. Tool

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE SONGS AT PRESENT:
1. Adios
2. Nebel
3. Lateralis

THREE NEW THINGS YOU WANT TO TRY IN THE NEXT 12 MONTHS:
1. Cook some muffins
2. Kill those who oppose me with a fork in the face
3. Lose the voice in my head

THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP (love is a given):
1. Trust
2. Freedom
3. Talk


TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE
1. I am wearing pants
2. I just ate a happy meal
3. God is my saviour


THREE PHYSICAL THINGS ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX (or same) THAT APPEAL TO YOU:
1. Eyes
2. Clothes
3. How they act

THREE THINGS YOU JUST CAN'T DO:
1. Go to church
2. Hurt other people physically
3. Listen to popular music seen on TV

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES:
1. Sleeping
2. Writing
3. Exploring my room

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:
1. See Emma
2. Puke
3. Do my nails

THREE CAREERS YOU'RE CONSIDERING:
1. Work In A Morgue
2. Poet
3. Work In A Mental Hospital

THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION:
1. Somewhere snowy
2. My bedroom
3. Somewhere cheap

THREE KID'S NAMES:
1. Damian
2. .....
3. .....

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:
1. Make poeple realise how stupid they are
2. Go crazy and kill the next person that stares at me
3. Make some muffins

THREE PEOPLE WHO HAVE TO TAKE THIS QUIZ NOW OR DIE PAINFULLY(MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHA):
1. ~The-Black-Sheep
2. ~imortacriz
3. ~LustofBlood ]]> ~X-Emo-Boy-X http://X-Emo-Boy-X.deviantart.com/journal/4893838/ http://X-Emo-Boy-X.deviantart.com/journal/4893838/ Wed, 23 Mar 2005 18:36:32 PST *yawn* I'm bored already, and it's only 12:17PM....so I'm going to write a lot of random things about nothing cause I'm so bored...

Well right now I can't stop listening to Slipknot, especially the song Tattered And Torn...at this exact moment I'm listening to Diluted...yay

I'm starting to get hungry and I think there is pizza in the house somewhere...PIZZA! haha, pizza for me none for u!

OMG! Its Easter soon...the time of chocolate...but for some reason I HATE Easter...It is like the biggest load of shit...just like Christmas...like WTF does a bunny have to do with jesus ...NOTHING
what does a fat guy in a red suit have to do with jesus...NOTHING...it is just a big scam to make you buy chocolate....but what the hell...it works on me...I LOVE getting chocolate....and as for jesus...well I don't care about him...sorry if that offends anyone but it's true

I remember back to my child years (like 7yrs ago) when the Easter bunny would always come and give me chocolate and Santa would always get me presents at Christmas...Now I don't believe in them, but naturaly I still expect chocolate and presents from them can't be missing out on something like taht just cause I don't believe

WOW! I have been typing for 11mins....it is now 12:28PM....I went searching for that pizza while typing and found it in the fridge! YEH! PIZZA! So I will be feeding soon

I am so confused...why is it people get horny when they look at porn? Like all it is, is a naked picture of another person, what is so arousing about that? And then there are these people that are totally obsessed with it, they see a nipple and they are off in the bathroom for the next five minutes trying to recover...personally I think people like that are the least likely to ever actually have sex or even see a real person naked that isn't on TV or a computer screen...(if you are getting off while reading this then shame on you!)

Well that is all I can really think and bitch about so I will end it here....Please reply with you thoughts on any of the things I have mentioned here cause I really like reading what you think! ]]> ~X-Emo-Boy-X http://X-Emo-Boy-X.deviantart.com/journal/4867518/ http://X-Emo-Boy-X.deviantart.com/journal/4867518/ Sun, 20 Mar 2005 22:08:53 PST .< ARGH!

Wouldn't you think she would at least be happy i'm still alive? NO! It's like she don't give a shit that I just almost died, she called what I did a 'stunt', what kind of stunt involves slashing your wrists? ARGH! She has pissed me off so much and she wonders why I am so obnoxious and have little respect for her.

Also today the stupid school counselor took me out of class and asked me how I was doing, Like WHAT THE FUCK! 3 days ago I tried to kill myself, failed at that, made everyone close to me really sad, and now feel like the biggest asshole ever! Apart from that I'm fan-fuckin-tastic.

So yeh, if you havent noticed I'm just a teensy bit angry right now, but I'm sure it will fade soon, just like every thing else

If you want to comment on my entry go ahead, I have no idea what you will comment about but go ahead and suprise me ]]> ~X-Emo-Boy-X http://X-Emo-Boy-X.deviantart.com/journal/4842844/ http://X-Emo-Boy-X.deviantart.com/journal/4842844/ Fri, 18 Mar 2005 03:33:39 PST
Well obviously I am still alive and I didn't die, I'm in a lot of pain cause I had to get a tetanus shot, but I'm still alive...

That is my story for this week, wait till next week to see what stupid shit I do...(just kidding)

If anyone wants to read this and reply to it they are more than welcome....so yeh....go ahead ]]> ~X-Emo-Boy-X http://X-Emo-Boy-X.deviantart.com/journal/4833754/ http://X-Emo-Boy-X.deviantart.com/journal/4833754/ Thu, 17 Mar 2005 02:44:22 PST
So if anyone has been upset by my mood swings I really sorry ]]> ~X-Emo-Boy-X