deviantART: by:Xdra

deviantART: by:Xdra http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:Xdra&section=today deviantART RSS for by:Xdra en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Mon, 28 Dec 2009 06:13:50 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png Merry christmas ^_^ http://Xdra.deviantart.com/journal/29176837/ http://Xdra.deviantart.com/journal/29176837/ Thu, 24 Dec 2009 23:21:53 PST
Hopefully be more active next year, Happy holidays everyone. Good vibes all around

]]> ~Xdra Life Moves on http://Xdra.deviantart.com/journal/29010549/ http://Xdra.deviantart.com/journal/29010549/ Fri, 18 Dec 2009 00:57:43 PST
I sort of? possibly? have a job? but the woman hiring me, a photographer, has been putting me off a bit saying shes busy, which I guess is a good sign for me. I'll be editing photos with a possibility of photographing later. I'm not really sure if its the field and or my real passion to follow in life. I do know that I love editing so at least thats something. Also trying my hand at taking stock photos for Istockphoto. Gosh they are picky. But its fine I can see why or why not they choose images now, Im on a three day probation from having my 2/3 photos rejected - at least I learnt something at college?

Sighs, I need moneys nows. Want to start life please and move out

]]> ~Xdra Allo http://Xdra.deviantart.com/journal/26887991/ http://Xdra.deviantart.com/journal/26887991/ Sat, 29 Aug 2009 02:39:51 PDT
The end of year looms... Who knows whats going to happen next year, but Im trying to find places to work, I'm contemplating throwing myself heavily into Art and not caring about the consequences. That involves entering my work into lots of competitions and trying desperately to just be successful enough to live my life and not have huge things like this loan hanging over my head and the worry with transport, blah blah blah.

Anyways, I guess things are going... maybe well? I dont know. But I should have a website up at the by the end of the year and I want to move all my work across to it so images wont be stolen etc. Already had some problems.. but I will have to deal with that accordingly I guess.

Anyways, thats whats happening with me, what about you

]]> ~Xdra Just to brag a little bit... maybe a lot http://Xdra.deviantart.com/journal/22119035/ http://Xdra.deviantart.com/journal/22119035/ Mon, 22 Dec 2008 10:08:59 PST
I received my report on thursday last week, and I'm happy to brag that I passed with a distinction! seriously happy about that since I put up with a lot of poop from lecturers and people. So all my efforts paid off and I did well!

next year you'll see a lot more work from me I think, as Im moving on to digital camera all my work will be easier to upload and present to you all. That and here's a little secret, for those of you who have watched me for awhile have seen I've uploaded a few chapters of a book I never finished called Yuri. I enjoy writing and I've decided to give it another try, but a little differently... I'm going to write a webcomic - futuristic sci fi. (I don't know why I always love writing those), anyways, I've been pretty motivated about it so far and actually have done a lot of work, but theres a lot more to come before you actually see anything, I'm aiming for next year jan/feb to release it. who knows what it will lead to but I plan to finish it through whatever the outcome. treat it as a learning experience perhaps for another one after that.

so have a good rest everyone, happy holidays

]]> ~Xdra Boot camp http://Xdra.deviantart.com/journal/22043505/ http://Xdra.deviantart.com/journal/22043505/ Thu, 18 Dec 2008 04:17:31 PST 2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS
4. Tag 10 friends who might enjoy doing the meme as well as the person you got the memo from.

IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY?
let me drown - soundgarden ( not really... )

WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
Pruno - Stone temple pilots ( lool Im not that old)

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
Adhesive - stone temple pilots (I like people who stick well?)

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
Journeyman - Iron Maiden

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
High and Dry - Radiohead (O-o thats not very inspiring is it?)

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Jambi - Tool (O-o wa?)

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
Supermassive black hole sun - Muse (this is actually true.. for those of you who dont know theres a huge black hole in the centre of the milkyway)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
Zero Chance - soundgarden (thats just lies!! SHE HAS EVERY CHANCE!!)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Call me call me - cowboy bebop soundtrack ( thats just funny!)

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Like spinning plates - radiohead

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
alone in the dark - testament (well not actually! I have more lifes ambitions than that!)

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Make it wit chu - queens of the stone age (I dooo!! I doooo!! <3 love you Enzo)

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
The sky is falling - queens of the stone age (well I dont like you either)

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
Everything means nothing to me - Elliot Smith (now thats just down and dreary)

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Ever - Team Sleep (not really sure about that one..)

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
2+2=5 - Radiohead (my hobby is to count maths badly, also use incorrect grammar)

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
I never came - queens of the stone age (to the party? home? to the other side of the world?)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Black hole sun - soundgarden (yes I wish it would come and take away all the rain)

WHAT'S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?
jigsaw falling into place - radiohead (that would be a tragedy doing something right)

HOW WILL YOU DIE?
Holy water - soundgarden (I must be evil)

WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET?
Fresh Tendrils - soundgarden (meaning?)

WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?
No way out - stone temple pilots (being stuck is hilarious, death too)

WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?
The eraser - thom yorke (ooooooooooh god!! I hate you eraser! you erased my work! my lifes ambitions, hopes and dreams!)

WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED?
there there - radihead (somewhere over there!)

WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST?
alphabet town - elliot smith (letterland is scary as hell)

DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?
automatic stop - the strokes (Im a taken women)

IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?
Head down - soundgarden (I'd say I've put my head down and worked pretty hard already)

WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?
Everything reminds me of her - elliot smith (RENE I MISS YOU!!!)

WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
Boot Camp

]]> ~Xdra Dissapointed http://Xdra.deviantart.com/journal/21946356/ http://Xdra.deviantart.com/journal/21946356/ Fri, 12 Dec 2008 12:02:20 PST Circleoffriends for over a year. and after much thought and several attempts I've finally quit.

I did my best but in the end I just didnt have the hours to put in to make it a great group. That and I stopped finding people who really understood what I said, Im not really sure how to phrase that..

anyway, there was a kind note on the notices to say goodbye and thanks to me, but I didnt receive any comments let alone anything from other members during my stay.

anyways, end of year. time for a rest... hope you all have a good christmas for those of you who celebrate it.

]]> ~Xdra Birthday on Sun... http://Xdra.deviantart.com/journal/21465666/ http://Xdra.deviantart.com/journal/21465666/ Thu, 13 Nov 2008 07:30:56 PST

Its going to be a quiet weekend with my closest friends and family which I like better. Im not the most social person anyways.

But this is just a small update... looking forward to getting this year over with and out of my lecturers hair. Its starting to get to me and my inspiration for photos is running dry.

Had two fights with two of my lecturers, one being about one of my projects and that was rather annoying because she yapped on about how disappointed she was in me and how everything was bad about them.. instead of giving me anything constructive, and in my defense I said I thought they weren't bad considering everybody else seemed to really like them. She flared up saying I should then mark my own work, and I refused to. Its not my job and I just don't think its right. And she shouted that she did things she didnt want to do - ha!

But anyways, I dont even know what I got for that project. I'll redo it anyway and get something else.

Ciao

]]> ~Xdra Major Fear --- UPDATE the result! http://Xdra.deviantart.com/journal/21012990/ http://Xdra.deviantart.com/journal/21012990/ Mon, 20 Oct 2008 09:20:28 PDT 77% and am now a legal driver! WOOT. Im so happy its over and never have to go through that stress ever again! JOY. Thank you for all the votes of confidence and support! <3

-----

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagh!!!!

Drivers test - Monday!!

Not feeling ready!!!

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!

keep me in your thoughts

]]> ~Xdra Finally... http://Xdra.deviantart.com/journal/20697549/ http://Xdra.deviantart.com/journal/20697549/ Sat, 27 Sep 2008 01:24:57 PDT
My foot is healing up nicely, the swelling has FINALLY went down and the bruising going down to a minimum. Soon I should be able to walk without crutches. As well I managed to reorganize my drivers test and get a new sim card for an old phone (I hate this old phone sooooo much). So things are sorted relatively. I have an exhibition of my work to look forward to - I will post photos of my work.

I'd like to say a huge thank you for your thoughts and condolences in this tough time.

Last week I went to the memorial at my old school. They showed a slide show of various photographs taken over the years of my friend. His Father, best friend and a family friend all gave small speeches about what he meant in their lives. The most memorable being the best friend. It was rather hilarious, he started quoting Gandalf the Grey and Gandalf the white.

I found out more about why and how he did this. And ultimately I've come the revelation that he chose this, this is what he wanted. He had supposedly been planning this for months now.. I'm definitely not one to judge people for what they decide to do in life. So with heavy hearts we will have to let him go in our own ways.

I wrote two final messages to him, we were allowed to write in a book as well as balloons which were let off into the sky. As well I've just been running thoughts and feelings outwardly to just release him? my emotions?

It was good to go, I didnt cry much despite thinking I would need to bring a box of tissues. But I got to see old school friends and we all went to the area of the school where we used to sit as a group for break times. We reminisced about old times, about Matt and what had been happening lately. Two of my friends had seen or spoke to him just two days before he committed suicide.

Theres such a strong feeling in me now that I can't not tell people how much they mean to me. I don't want anyone to ever resort to suicide to find peace. I want to help. Maybe thats why Circle of Friends is so close to me. Only a few words can help someone, a simple action, a simple word and you can help many around you.

]]> ~Xdra Suicide? http://Xdra.deviantart.com/journal/20506298/ http://Xdra.deviantart.com/journal/20506298/ Mon, 15 Sep 2008 13:45:39 PDT
My very good friend.. someone I knew two years at school became close to me. We laughed so hard together, got on so well in so many ways.. and just as easily we fell apart. Stopped talking.

I understand that he was just trying to get to know himself better.. to understand what was life.. and I was just part of his learning curve.. Im over what happened and we started talking again recently... just as I felt we were getting to know each other the way we used to..

He committed suicide on friday. Im shattered. I dont understand why.. if you write on a note that you love your friends and family so much why leave it? why go? we loved you just as much..

I dont want to say goodbye if I dont understand why first..

]]> ~Xdra A small update and Anniversary http://Xdra.deviantart.com/journal/20448905/ http://Xdra.deviantart.com/journal/20448905/ Fri, 12 Sep 2008 02:33:25 PDT
my foot is still in a bit of pain. But I can hobble along on it a bit which is better, I still need crutches to get about and such.

Im really upset about the amount of bad luck I've had this week. Injurying myself, having to cancel my drivers test because I was being stupid about my foot and then on monday night I had my phone stolen.

I thought I had lost it jumping about around the house but after a day I was going to block it unsure as to what had happened or if it was actually stolen. But... going to bed I looked up at my window and noticed it looked a bit open. On closer inspection the handle was broken and walaa. Stolen Cellphone.

The guy probably had been watching me from outside knew I was on crutches and going to take a long time to get around. Rather creepy I say. He used a screwdriver, chisel or something to wedge the window open and eventually break the handle, reached in and grabbed my phone off the desk.

Anyway, I'm obviously a bit frizzled by the start of my holidays reorganizing and organizing things from the course of this week but good nonetheless.

I'm looking forward to the weekend. Sunday is my anniversary with the boyfriend, 2 years of joy!

feels like 5 to be honest.

]]> ~Xdra Bad luck spell.... http://Xdra.deviantart.com/journal/20369427/ http://Xdra.deviantart.com/journal/20369427/ Sun, 07 Sep 2008 06:04:56 PDT
my ankle wobbled ridiculously bad... and I stayed off it the rest of the night. Went off to the doctors to see what happened with it today to actually to see how screwed up it was and it ends up I tore lagiments in my ankle.

I can barely walk on the damn thing and its as painful as ever. This is by far the worst injury I've ever had. and now Im sure my foot will be prone to this again.

Anyway... I have a driving test on thursday and now I gotta motor to get the damn this moved because of my stupidity... what a waste of money with all these lessons Ive been having lately.

blah

I sport some crusty crutches now

]]> ~Xdra 1 more week... http://Xdra.deviantart.com/journal/20228894/ http://Xdra.deviantart.com/journal/20228894/ Sat, 30 Aug 2008 01:36:47 PDT one more crit to get through
one more project to finish..
11 days till my drivers test (oh god let me pass)

and then a nice few weeks of freedom - oh wait.. plus one project, plus one essay. blah better than what I heard about the UCT students! good luck guys

I need suggestions... my parents asked me what I wanted for my 21st birthday present. Its supposed to be something memorable but for the life of me I dont really know what that could be.

my two suggestions were:

a puppy (denied)
a car (shockingly denied

)

but I would like a macro lens for my digital... but thats not really that memorable

I mean I could ask for some really unmemorable things like a ninentendo ds XD or some random books. oh well I guess I have a few months to ponder about it.

]]> ~Xdra Le Sigh http://Xdra.deviantart.com/journal/20019144/ http://Xdra.deviantart.com/journal/20019144/ Mon, 18 Aug 2008 09:12:07 PDT
I've got 5 projects to wrap up in the course of the next 3 weeks... T_T *attaches chain to ankle with ball*

Inspiration meter = 3/10
Emotional meter = 10/10 (

yay good friends and boyfriend)
Fear meter = 5/10 (in terms of work and deadlines)

hmm... I've got my drivers test next month. Freaking out just a tad in terms of my preparation. I feel confident for my Parking as for driving less so.. I think by the end of this month I will be ready however and hopefully I wont have to think about organizing another test (possibly naughtily).

Otherwise work is a bit of a daunting task.. feeling rather uninspired with ideas as of late.. and Im barely scraping a project to be marked on friday that I can only finish and start on wednesday.. good luck me.. as well as walking an absurd distance to take photographs of a french baker because I refused to give me awesome photographs of his messy chef's uniform.

Otherwise I got two series of photographs going up on display for a month of photography exhibition. perhaps maybe auctioned at some later stage but that was pretty sweet.

Hope joo are all well..

]]> ~Xdra Random quiz http://Xdra.deviantart.com/journal/19692675/ http://Xdra.deviantart.com/journal/19692675/ Thu, 31 Jul 2008 03:13:24 PDT * Choose a singer/band/group
* Answer using ONLY titles of songs by that singer/band/group
* Tag 6 more people (let them know they've been tagged)

I choose you, Chris Cornell!! (muhahaha soundgarden,audioslave, and his solo project - shunning the latest song!)

1. Are you male or female?
- Girl you want (devo cover)

2. Describe yourself.
- mind riot

3. What do people feel when they're around you?
- wide awake

4. How would you describe your previous relationship?
- Nothing left to say but good bye (thats extremely appropriate)

5. Describe your current relationship.
- Safe and sound

6. Where would you want to be now?
- Arms around your love

7. How do you feel about love?
- shape of things to come

8. What's your life like?
- Revelations <3

9. What would you ask for if you had only one wish?
- Flower

10. Say something wise.
- She'll never be your man!! (rofl!)

]]> ~Xdra Blocking suggestion? http://Xdra.deviantart.com/journal/19657697/ http://Xdra.deviantart.com/journal/19657697/ Tue, 29 Jul 2008 09:26:17 PDT
Ones which would actually make it unable for specific people to look at your Deviatations and journals.

You wouldnt believe the amount of repeated responses I got about "They can log out and look at your work then" and I answered it a million times - yes then it would make sense to have two options ass I suggested in the original post.

1) block specific members and non-members of DA.
2) allow everyone and non members of DA to see your work.

and then I got a lot of comments "DA is a community it goes against their policy blocking everyone". Yes DA is a community thats why I'm suggesting SPECIFIC members - I would like to have more privacy from some individuals on here. Especially against obvious stalkers you happen to encounter.

I also asked what people thought of completely private accounts to which a million people responded saying "DA is a community", "use myspace or facebook". To which I agree a million times over. I don't want private account option it is a silly thing to even do. How would you get feedback on your work if no one could see it?

Anyways, who says Yay or Nay for better blocking options on DA?

]]> ~Xdra I never intend to offend http://Xdra.deviantart.com/journal/19617460/ http://Xdra.deviantart.com/journal/19617460/ Sun, 27 Jul 2008 03:43:48 PDT
I apologize to those people for some of those comments I've said out of anger in some sense. However I believe their comments were triggered in the same way. I'm not perfect - and never tried to pretend as much. I constantly find myself trying to deal with things that are way over my head in many regards.

I'm trying to learn from everything that has been triggered around me and somehow sucks me up flings me around. Somehow I still think that by saying things it will make me feel better or improve the situation. But I guess it doesnt and only continues to throw me around in the situation I never was involved in in the first place.

I've only tried to be supportive. But I guess thats up to you to believe whatever you want to believe with what I've done.

I guess that this relates to a few people. I wish we could be friends but its not possible.

I hate the drama llama.

So here I am being honest - you can choose to attack me further or let this be at ease.

Peace!

]]> ~Xdra Penguin http://Xdra.deviantart.com/journal/19513661/ http://Xdra.deviantart.com/journal/19513661/ Mon, 21 Jul 2008 07:51:36 PDT [link]

so much so it boggles me. Its got a terrible DOF. I wont lie. My skills back then were horrible.. and it amazes me that people actually favourite it O_o

]]> ~Xdra Go ahead and laugh with me http://Xdra.deviantart.com/journal/19322317/ http://Xdra.deviantart.com/journal/19322317/ Fri, 11 Jul 2008 01:11:20 PDT

"Alexandra has a lot of creative talent. She does not however apply herself to her work on a consistant basis, therefore her grades have dropped a little this term. Alex can do much better with a little more effort."

Yes, she spelt CONSISTENT wrong. And No I've NEVER had any teacher ever say to me I don't apply myself to my work.

Over the three schools I've been at throughout my life - inspite of learning difficulties - I have only ever had people write how hard I work on a CONSISTENT basis. And so my parents were shocked, I'm shocked.

This person obviously doesn't know me. And its the biggest load of #@!* I've ever heard in my life.

/rant

]]> ~Xdra New Venture http://Xdra.deviantart.com/journal/19212887/ http://Xdra.deviantart.com/journal/19212887/ Sat, 05 Jul 2008 03:14:32 PDT
So, here we are ACTUALLY being productive! And starting a new account together by our group nickname "Lanning Nuns"

I guess the comic is going to be about our random inside jokes and about being Girl Gamers - occasionally shunning the male race. Who knows, should be fun at least

[link]

]]> ~Xdra To whom this may concern ^_^ http://Xdra.deviantart.com/journal/19126769/ http://Xdra.deviantart.com/journal/19126769/ Mon, 30 Jun 2008 11:52:58 PDT
I will never speak to you ever again and stop trying to talk to my friends.

on a more important moment my mommie loves me. she made me milo.

]]> ~Xdra Changing the scenery http://Xdra.deviantart.com/journal/19031039/ http://Xdra.deviantart.com/journal/19031039/ Wed, 25 Jun 2008 01:22:06 PDT
Rules are:

1. Post these rules.
2. Each tagged person should post at least 8 facts of themselves.
3. Tagged people should write a Journal\Blog about these facts.
4. In the end, tag and name 5 more people.
5. Go to their DA pages and comment saying that they are tagged and hugged.

oh and i got tagged by

anyway, here goes:

1. I hate strawberry and banana but I love sweets/cakes/anything that tastes like either of the two

2. I get short of breath if I touch velvet or nylon. UGH!

3. Im a tad too obsessed with Chris Cornell

4. I would cosplay if I had the chance!

!!! XD

5. I could leave my cellphone for days on end and not care! HA! (my computer is another story)

6. I have too many inside jokes with Rene. So much so we could have a whole conversation and other people wont understand what is going on.

7. I hate white socks (probably because of school...)

8. I always have a Ender Saga book in hand these days. Its a secret weapon.

I tag:

because shes the only one who would care

]]> ~Xdra Anger! >_< http://Xdra.deviantart.com/journal/18741588/ http://Xdra.deviantart.com/journal/18741588/ Mon, 09 Jun 2008 03:19:09 PDT
They make no sense! shes emotionally unstable and then you give me bad marks on bad judgments and statements!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!! VELOCIRAPTOR

]]> ~Xdra College http://Xdra.deviantart.com/journal/18250848/ http://Xdra.deviantart.com/journal/18250848/ Sat, 10 May 2008 01:25:17 PDT
I had to shoot a portraiture project called ' Portraiture in Environment ' which basically means a person within some place that tells a story. I chose a theme for myself - Photographers around the world. Which I thought would help me conquer the akwardness between my subject and I by having the common obbession with photography.

...

It didnt help. I'm not good with meeting new people. Some people were nice but I didnt know what to say to those who seemed in a hurry to get away from me. But no one I approached said no which was interesting. I was expecting someone to say no or prove I was actually a photography student.

But I've been developing another project in the darkroom for a crit on monday. I love that place. Its so cool and exciting to be involved in the process and watch the images develop under your eyes. my Negatives were really underexposed and my teacher said I would have difficulty in getting the images out nicely. But what do you know most of them I only had to do twice which is pretty incredible.. So much fun.

Otherwise I guess I should probably be trying to scan in some photographs and show you all eh? maybe today.

Well in other news - Im driving. Its the most scariest thing I've done in a looong loong time. I hate clutches. I hate my inability to get any better and my test is in September. I dont even know why Im doing this. Theres is no way Im going to get a car anytime soon. My parents sold my brothers old rust bucket and there was no way I was driving that thing anytime soon (we had that car since I was like 7 or something). Plus they dont have money.. plus I dont have money - Im in debt actually. which is funny because I need a car to get to work when I eventually do but then I dont have money for the car or the petrol. Then I have to take into account the interest I need to pay back a month let alone the loan itself XD lol its going to be funnnnnny.

But right now Im looking forward to seeing the boyfriend and spending as much time as humanly possible with him. aaaaah love

XD

]]> ~Xdra Angry, frustrated and good old worried http://Xdra.deviantart.com/journal/18017421/ http://Xdra.deviantart.com/journal/18017421/ Fri, 25 Apr 2008 04:49:53 PDT
I sit down and the first lesson is cancelled to be replaced with another lesson with one of the lecturers. She informs me that the lesson later had been changed from the original ending time of 12am to that of half twelve. I immediately said I cant be there till that time as I have no lift home unless I want to wait much longer or scramble and waste money trying to find who can take me home other than my mother.

She told me it wasnt her problem. And I said it was as she had decided to change the timetable on the day we get there. It was unfair that she expected me to be there at a time I couldnt make. So she turns to the class and goes

"who else thinks this is unfair?"

and no one responds... they think this is perfectly acceptable.

why? because their a bunch of retards who are too scared to speak their mind. I really despise their attitudes. Most of them are there with the comfort that their parents pick them up when they please or they have cars. As well their parents are paying for college - what do they care that I'm missing my lesson.

Not only does that have to happen but my best friends mother got knocked over last night and ended up in hospital. My poor friend.. even her mom is like a second mom to me. I cant stand her being so upset.

]]> ~Xdra New copyright law - we wont own our work! http://Xdra.deviantart.com/journal/17805751/ http://Xdra.deviantart.com/journal/17805751/ Sat, 12 Apr 2008 02:12:52 PDT [link]

listen to this!! this is damn scary!! spread the word! its ridiculous!

]]> ~Xdra Some awesome photographers... http://Xdra.deviantart.com/journal/17692307/ http://Xdra.deviantart.com/journal/17692307/ Sat, 05 Apr 2008 01:04:00 PDT

She's quite a young photographer but does some very amazingly emotional photographs. I've always loved her tones and colours.

This is actually two photographers Winter and Wolf - I believe they have their own company and Winter does a lot of the modeling as well as photographing. The models are always very different in terms of make up and styling. I enjoy them for the quirkiness.

Enough said. He's so insanely popular here. great models/styling/concepts. I also love his unique look at Japan.

I really like this guy. He always responds to comments I leave with intelligent responses. The photo stories are always well conceived and he shows a lot of skill with photoshop to enhance the story.

I've always found her portraits fascinating and very different. I was upset when she said she was going to leave after getting her 1000 000 page view - I dont even understand the reason why. But it seems shes back! so yay!

insane conceptual photograph works. I esp love her one with the cupboard and PJ's. The condom head one is hilarious - I love it!

I love her colours and tones - she's very much like muzka with different portraits.

Very cool conceptual and emotional photographs. I especially love her black and white photographs.

]]> ~Xdra Nephew is really Ill... http://Xdra.deviantart.com/journal/17678208/ http://Xdra.deviantart.com/journal/17678208/ Fri, 04 Apr 2008 05:29:21 PDT
he looked so sad and unhappy yesterday... I haven't been able to see him with college work and everything.. and today he didn't want to take some of the meds to help him so there was screaming and lots of crying..

he's only 2 1/2 years old it must be so scary for him.

]]> ~Xdra Nephew is really Ill... http://Xdra.deviantart.com/journal/17678182/ http://Xdra.deviantart.com/journal/17678182/ Fri, 04 Apr 2008 05:25:32 PDT
he looked so sad and unhappy yesterday... I haven't been able to see him with college work and everything.. and today he didn't want to take some of the meds to help him so there was screaming and lots of crying..

he's only 2 1/2 years old it must be so scary for him.

]]> ~Xdra DA is funneh http://Xdra.deviantart.com/journal/17622426/ http://Xdra.deviantart.com/journal/17622426/ Tue, 01 Apr 2008 06:07:09 PDT
camera is fixed! R90 to get done! Teeth are sorted! Im feeling a bit better!!

<3

oh! on adderly street someone put a new name up for the street "Jacob Zuma Boulevard" ROFL!

]]> ~Xdra Great news - this is a sarcastic title http://Xdra.deviantart.com/journal/17600827/ http://Xdra.deviantart.com/journal/17600827/ Mon, 31 Mar 2008 05:32:58 PDT
Something happened in the process of taking photos for my latest series and if you know about the camera mechanisms... the shutter curtain has gotten jammed some how (the little thing within the camera that opens and exposes the film). I sent it in today to hopefully get fixed. Please please please... I only need to have a film for the remainder of this year - I certainly don't want to replace it completely... and I dont think my parents want to pay for a new one (whats new?). I'm hoping that it can be fixed... otherwise I'll end up paying a ridiculous amount just to use it. However I may be able to borrow a camera from my Sister's friend... Or possibly something else.

Things are a bit tense.. I'm a bit tense. I'm grinding my teeth to smithereens while I sleep at night so much so Im going in to the dentist tomorrow to look at the damage and hopefully get a guard to protect them in future. Apparently its a stress thing and its uncommon for girls to grind their teeth at my age. I wont lie - I'm stressed. I'm trying my best to calm down but things aren't that easy and its difficult to put on a happy face all the time for appearances sake.

]]> ~Xdra Oh procrastination..... http://Xdra.deviantart.com/journal/17519378/ http://Xdra.deviantart.com/journal/17519378/ Wed, 26 Mar 2008 02:07:55 PDT
the one I have no idea for is called "Me" a visual experience.

...

I dont get it at all....

I should be working on trying to get SOMETHING together... I just wish I knew what that something was. UGH.

oh lookie Im procrastinating writing this up. haha

]]> ~Xdra last week of college for the term... Update http://Xdra.deviantart.com/journal/17373516/ http://Xdra.deviantart.com/journal/17373516/ Mon, 17 Mar 2008 08:37:13 PDT
the lecturers besides the one male lecturer who I've had twice is the only decent one. The other three are wishy washy and just... ugh!

I had to rant.. its frustrating. I had been given a discount for the year until I tried to phone to confirm the amount to be paid. I had many times to phone in and confirm the amount I eventually went in to collect my student card and confirm. When I arrive shes defensive and blatantly rude "no. Someone else has already been denied."

I laughed inwardly and went home to my father - the master of scaring anyone. He tries for four days to get through to her. Eventually on the fifth he called her every hour of the day till he got through! and what do you know she didn't like it! and so I got the discount! woohoo!

Otherwise... I woke up deaf this morning in my left ear... its not really deaf more things are muted heavily. Its also extremely sensitive to noise. I will be going through to the doctor later to try see whats wrong with my hearing.. I really hope nothing terribly bad has happened.

Also be getting a new phone probably tomorrow hopefully... I really hate my samsung...

ciao

UPDATE:

I have a ear infection and fever. blah. so no college for me tomorrow... bad considering I have a freaking test to write >_< grrrr

]]> ~Xdra Identity http://Xdra.deviantart.com/journal/17143664/ http://Xdra.deviantart.com/journal/17143664/ Sun, 02 Mar 2008 05:44:30 PST
The whole painting with light seems to have uplifted me in some way with feelings I'm having recently. A lot of what has been happening this year has been testing me and how strong I truly am in this big bad world... I guess not all of it is bad but it certainly tries to take my emotions on a ride.

My love - my everything is going to be gone for two weeks in Spain. I'm going to miss him... but I really hope he has fun.

unwanted attention... What the hell is with men in town? I get whistled at all the time! (I got really angry once and pulled the zap at the dude), even last week I was scared coz some random dude getting out his car went "Hey Baby! how are ya doing!". I really really hate it - this has never happened to me. I never wanted it and here I am now having to deal with it. I have little patience for this crap.

Heres to another week of 120 plus photos...

]]> ~Xdra Progression http://Xdra.deviantart.com/journal/17056283/ http://Xdra.deviantart.com/journal/17056283/ Mon, 25 Feb 2008 11:38:16 PST
I would upload more photos but my computer has been in for the second time this month to get freaking fixed. the graphics card bust on me and now something is wrong with the memory - I dunno why the guys didn't fix it the first time I sent it in. There was obviously something wrong with it.

Anyways... I had a pretty horrid day today.. I was at college till 7pm (4 hours waiting woohoo!). No one really wanted to help me and those who did couldn't. its strange when the people supposedly closest to you don't give a.... ... Then I found out that I actually have a crit session tomorrow on work I hadn't finished and I couldn't get my camera so I would have to wait till I got home. Thank god there was still enough light out as well as time tomorrow to get the stuff in and developed.

ugh. I will probably go work on that stupid book now. Some one wake me up with coffee and croissants tomorrow... hopefully I'll upload some more photies soon soon.

]]> ~Xdra what R xdra http://Xdra.deviantart.com/journal/16894716/ http://Xdra.deviantart.com/journal/16894716/ Fri, 15 Feb 2008 07:17:12 PST 2) Take each answer and type it into dA search box
3) Take a deviation from the first page of results (may use ' popular' or 'newest' ) and post thumb (for subscribers) or link (non-subscribers)
4) You can't copy the persons answers who posted this before you

1. The age you will be on your next birthday

[link]

2. A place you'd like to travel

[link]

3. Your favorite place

[link]

4. Your favorite object

[link]

5. Favorite food

[link]

6. Your favorite animal

[link]

7. Your favorite color

[link]

8. The town/state/etc in which you live

[link]

9. Name of past pet

[link]

10. A dream come true

[link]
(seeing him live in march)

11. Your nickname/screenname

[link]
(oh look, its me)

12. Middle name

[link]

13. Favorite Smell

[link]

14. Bad habit of yours

[link]

15. Your first job

[link]

16. Favourite Movie

[link]

17. What are you doing right now?

[link]

18. Whats The Weather Like?

[link]

19. Favourite Sport

[link]

20. Favourite Music/Style/Band

[link]

]]> ~Xdra Things... are different http://Xdra.deviantart.com/journal/16767098/ http://Xdra.deviantart.com/journal/16767098/ Thu, 07 Feb 2008 09:18:34 PST
I never really went to the centre of Cape Town much. Not on a daily basis like I have been doing for the last week...

Its very different, everything (despite it being cape town - the lazy capital of our country..) seems a lot more fast pace for me. In a way I feel really excited by it and having to find my way around some blocks to get to lectures or todays outing of finding out where my photographs needed to be developed. My constant paranoia tries to remind me of the possibility of being mugged.. I guess thats not such a bad paranoia to have..

Today was also my first day with my film camera.... how bizarre.. and how incredibly discrete are film cameras? When I pick up my Digital is shows me in neon yellow lights my light meter, apeture, iso and shutterspeed. On the film its in black writing down the side with a thin needle telling me what my light meter is reading. Half the time I forgot to check - that and my glasses kept blocking the side of the screen! - I wasnt under exposing vs over exposing. I think I messed up quite a few photos that way! ugh! blindness vs seeing the stupid light meter! But at the same time... how odd it was to work a 30 year old camera which was so incredibly statisfying just to turn the lever to pull out the next film to be shot!

Tomorrow will be judgement day to see how well I did. I cant say that Im not nervous... theres a certain mystery about photographs again with having to wait for them to be developed.. but also very nerve racking to see how well I did... the last thing I want is to put up photographs I'm not really that proud about and having people critique them.

]]> ~Xdra The last Day http://Xdra.deviantart.com/journal/16706431/ http://Xdra.deviantart.com/journal/16706431/ Sun, 03 Feb 2008 12:11:14 PST
College starts tomorrow. I'm pretty nervous about it, also about the whole "fitting in" part and such. I was never really good with meeting new people. A few bad bullying experiences I guess don't really help.

Photos will probably be very much to the minimum now! sorry guys! XD but hopefully I'll scan in stuff as soon as I start shooting and let you see how I'm Doing.

Oh computer is messed up again... piece of... *&%$# this thing has only been trouble since the start!

]]> ~Xdra small update.. ok thats a lie http://Xdra.deviantart.com/journal/16514805/ http://Xdra.deviantart.com/journal/16514805/ Tue, 22 Jan 2008 00:55:08 PST
I love working for COF, its been such a pleasure so far to work alongside Heidi with things in the group. Thank you Heidi!

Things are moving along tho.. I will really try and do some arty things to get back into the swing of things... and I really think I should give this film camera a bash... I've never been so afraid to break something as I have with this thing. Its a Nikon FE and I'm having difficulty trying to find a flash for it (I was a model behind being able to use my fathers flash for his D200)! the thing is really ancient! made back in the 70's if you can believe it! If this thing breaks theres no turning back, you cant get parts for it anymore.

im so afraid! Plus my father raves about it every five seconds and that just makes me fear breaking it more. I'll destroy his favourite camera.

Ugh, but anyways I'll get over it. Its been know for its durability so hopefully that will overcome my fear.

My brother left for England on Saturday... I dont think I've got it quite into my head that hes gone. But its really strange because I've been living for him for as long as I can remember and hes only a year and a bit older than me in age so I got on the best with him compared to my other siblings. They both left our house when I was still pretty young so its weirder for him to have left. I will indeed miss him, simply for the fact that we started to share a lot of friends in common these past few years and it was fun to go to parties. Strange thing that practically all my friends have siblings that hang out with us and we were the only two that were of different gender (aka brother and sister, not brother and brother or sister and sister). I wont be able to see him for a few years to come... I don't have the money and I'm going to be busy with college. I hope he gets a good job and makes enough money to quickly pay back his student loan and live a comfortable life.

Since he left... I've taken over his room and started fixing it up. Today, I hope to get the chance to actually start painting. Think of a light cookie dough brown colour and white

. I asked my father for advice about painting and he proceeded to show off with how quick he could do it. I believe he's quick but whats the point of showing of? give me the advice I so humbly asked for! As karma would have it he ripped out the phone wire from the wall by accident which he had to quickly fix. Well! anyway! Its going to be a japanese themed room since I've always loved the furniture from japan and just the simpleness of the rooms they have. Even contemplated putting my mattress on a foton to keep it low like they do! XD

later, have a good week everyone

]]> ~Xdra OOooooOooo http://Xdra.deviantart.com/journal/16248493/ http://Xdra.deviantart.com/journal/16248493/ Fri, 04 Jan 2008 00:01:50 PST
Number of photos taken in the last while: 0

yup. Im terrible. I have no inspiration.. In fact the only kinda arty thing I've been doing is floor plans and ideas for my new room aka brothers old room. I'm quite excited to have a room that actually has a door! XD dont ask! Otherwise it means I get to paint it and customize my furniture! I'm going for a blue/white theme thats japanese orientated. It's going to be a lot of fun..

Otherwise, I've been part of this group for awhile now called Circle of Friends, a good friend of mine runs it and was in hospital recently.. I still have no idea what happened. Due to the other admin leaving I've filled in her place.. its quite crazy considering I have so much next year to achieve already and then to look after admining as well as moderating on the weekend is a bit mad but it should be fine. I'll cope. Otherwise I look forward to helping the group get more active again its been a bit stagnant the last while.

have a good weekend everyone

]]> ~Xdra Merry Christmas.. http://Xdra.deviantart.com/journal/16056314/ http://Xdra.deviantart.com/journal/16056314/ Sun, 23 Dec 2007 09:57:05 PST
I've got my learners and applied for my loan so things are sorted and waiting to happen I guess. I just gotta do my best... and work my ass off to pay back this loan... maybe someone will be generous as well to help me out a bit... XD

But otherwise... have a good holiday everyone and lets hope I dont put on too much weight!

]]> ~Xdra Great things come in twos! http://Xdra.deviantart.com/journal/15820294/ http://Xdra.deviantart.com/journal/15820294/ Thu, 06 Dec 2007 11:58:16 PST Im on a constant high! I love my job!

XD

]]> ~Xdra Busy Busy Busy http://Xdra.deviantart.com/journal/15763653/ http://Xdra.deviantart.com/journal/15763653/ Sun, 02 Dec 2007 11:30:36 PST
The course concluded this Thursday and our final photographs chosen. The fact that I have another... 2 days seems like not enough. I have my photos printed.. and bought my card for mounting. Ugh. What a mission in itself.. Can you believe that some print shops dont calibrate their monitors to the printers?!

Without having enough time before the exhibition I'm going to have to mount all my stuff myself. All mounters were either too busy or wanted to charge a ridiculous amount to cut holes out of a piece of board. ARG!

I don't have either the time or the money for that matter...

Otherwise... I've applied for Professional Photography next year. A two year diploma... And its going to set me in soo much debt its not even funny. It makes moving out and becoming independent that much further away.

What a mission its been to get anything done. My other biggest concern is my test for my learners on Tuesday... this will be my second time and I don't know if I've studied enough - I've just been that busy and that tired I haven't had the energy to sit down and learn.

Lets hope I survive the next few days... let alone buying my whole family gifts and Christmas... >

]]> ~Xdra Burfdays tomrrow... http://Xdra.deviantart.com/journal/15515647/ http://Xdra.deviantart.com/journal/15515647/ Thu, 15 Nov 2007 03:13:06 PST
I doubt I'll be on tomorrow... perhaps on sunday. But anyways... just a quick update on things.

Ditched crappy assistant photographer course - it was bad!
Messed up my computer - trojan. (alex - 0, trojan - 2) luckily I backed up everything.
Big birthday party tomorrow. X_X
Lots of photos to edit and take before my exhibition in another 3 weeks!
I love my boyfriend so dearly! and all my wonderful friends!! ^_^
trying to get a loan and sort out photos to apply to college!

anyways... I got a cake to make, photos to take, a computer to recover and much joyous festivities to look forward to so I wont be around! thank you for birthday wishes in advance!

]]> ~Xdra New Course - or free child labour, you decide! http://Xdra.deviantart.com/journal/15386516/ http://Xdra.deviantart.com/journal/15386516/ Tue, 06 Nov 2007 04:15:05 PST
I've signed myself up for a assistant photographer course. I'm going to run around learning how to use lighting, reflectors, etc, etc, etc! Who knows if it will be useful - more likely just free labour! I'm paying them to teach me what they would probably pay someone else to do!

psh. At least its cheap and 5 evenings over the next few weeks.

As for life.. *sigh* who knows whats going to happen next year. I dont really know if I can afford to go to college. It's a hell of a lot of money I would have to pay back by myself with no help from my parents and then who knows if I could make enough money to live at the same time.

I need a solution. or Money. Or... A job to not even go to college - like it would be worthy enough pssh.

Birthday is in another two weeks... and my boy might not be here.

]]> ~Xdra Contradictions Portrait http://Xdra.deviantart.com/journal/15167246/ http://Xdra.deviantart.com/journal/15167246/ Mon, 22 Oct 2007 02:07:36 PDT
So.. it must have a person involved. I laughed when my lecturer urged us to be adventurous. Her idea of adventure is going up to a hooker on the streets and taking a photographs. Yeah right 19/20 year old girl vs Pimp and hooker! like that would work out well!

I'll laugh if someone actually does go and do it. And salute them in their stupidity as well as courage.

Anyways, my idea was to take a photographs of Enzo - my bf. Dignified wine guy by day - loud crazy metal head drummer by night.

You think I would notice when im shooting at 200/300 of a second shutter speed indoors that something was wrong. Nope I carry on and I get home - upload the photos. And what do you know I was shooting on freaking 1200 ISO. What the hell - the quality was horrible. The worst thing is the photos were awsome and I cant re-shoot cause Enzo will be jet setting to Italy soon.

So.. give me Ideas. This is due by Thursday

]]> ~Xdra Is it ok to be angry? http://Xdra.deviantart.com/journal/14994306/ http://Xdra.deviantart.com/journal/14994306/ Wed, 10 Oct 2007 02:06:08 PDT
Computer managed to get recovered... I have everything back and now im trying to finish off my application and stretching my brain to work more creatively for this course. It's rather difficult I'm afraid to say...

]]> ~Xdra Once apon a time... http://Xdra.deviantart.com/journal/14952978/ http://Xdra.deviantart.com/journal/14952978/ Sun, 07 Oct 2007 09:20:38 PDT
and personal life havoc as well. Sweet.

]]> ~Xdra Contest + what do you think of this? http://Xdra.deviantart.com/journal/14865248/ http://Xdra.deviantart.com/journal/14865248/ Tue, 02 Oct 2007 07:38:42 PDT [link] into the "something 20 contest" for *Everything-Nikon

I wonder how I will do. There are some pretty interesting ideas people had but I think mine was pretty original... well I guess I was just lucky. My something 20 was that I'll be turning 20 years old in November.

Now... to finish up my application to College... determine brownie prices.. yes Im going to be selling brownies to make some money since im a cheap fart these days.

lots to do.. lots to do..

UPDATE:

you know one of my favourite photographers technically got a daily deviatation today - [link] . But this was a photo uploaded by the model in the picture. I totally have nothing against him uploading the photo but since the photographer set up the photo and such don't you think hes the one that should get the daily deviatation? or rather why not a credit to the photographer in the comment for the daily deviatation?

Most daily deviatation's are artists with pageviews below 20,000 and favourites on the particular image less than 20. And this photographer has over a million pageviews and obviously over a hundred favourites for this image.

what are your thoughts on this?

]]> ~Xdra Suggestions? http://Xdra.deviantart.com/journal/14824032/ http://Xdra.deviantart.com/journal/14824032/ Fri, 28 Sep 2007 07:47:26 PDT
]]> ~Xdra Photography course ends... http://Xdra.deviantart.com/journal/14696515/ http://Xdra.deviantart.com/journal/14696515/ Wed, 19 Sep 2007 04:34:16 PDT
but still there are good things to come... I've applied for the Creative photography course so that should be just as fun. Maybe this time I can meet some people below the age of 30 and someone willing to buy me coffee again!

Otherwise nearly finished my application to college to study Photography yet again. Everyone hold thumbs that I get in. I really want to go....

I need money... someone give me a job.

]]> ~Xdra Excuse me while I show off a little... http://Xdra.deviantart.com/journal/14617811/ http://Xdra.deviantart.com/journal/14617811/ Thu, 13 Sep 2007 13:53:01 PDT
Tis been a bit rocky at some stages, a lot of love everyday and nothing I have ever taken for granted at any moment. I have never been happier with such a wonderful guy! mwah! <3

I hope you all find your happiness with someone or at least most importantly with yourselves.

]]> ~Xdra Nevermind. http://Xdra.deviantart.com/journal/14502360/ http://Xdra.deviantart.com/journal/14502360/ Wed, 05 Sep 2007 13:08:20 PDT nevermind everyone. Things boiled over so im good again.

*goes back to her usual happy self*

]]> ~Xdra Laying Low for awhile... http://Xdra.deviantart.com/journal/14481064/ http://Xdra.deviantart.com/journal/14481064/ Tue, 04 Sep 2007 01:52:32 PDT
I'm also going to take leave from moderatoring my COF group as well. Sorry Guys again some of us need a break once in awhile from everything.

See you in awhile

]]> ~Xdra tag http://Xdra.deviantart.com/journal/14405701/ http://Xdra.deviantart.com/journal/14405701/ Thu, 30 Aug 2007 05:37:37 PDT 1. Post these rules.
2. Each person tagged must post 8 random facts about themselves.
3. Tagged individuals should write a journal/blog of these facts.
4. At the end of the post 8 more persons are tagged and named.
5. Go to thier page and leave them a comment telling them they are tagged.

I Do this because im bored... and no I wont tag anyone. Do it if you want to.

1. I find it hard to eat a plate of food without finishing one type of food before moving onto the next. Like having say.. a plate of peas, chicken and potato. I cant eat something different before I've eaten say all the peas first.
2. I struggle learning anything with lots of words about it. If I can mentally make a image or have the object visually show to me then I understand.
3. I struggle to motivate myself without support from others.
4. I liked knitting and embrodaring a long time ago. Haha
5. My Keyboard constantly has its period. It will sometimes not allow me to use the P,/, and question mark key. hence why I had to say it now.
6. I will be going out with my boyfriend for a year next month.
7. Some Random lady always buys me Coffee at my photography course coz my mother refuses to give me money. Haha!
8. I hate that bargain hunt show on BBC, people give away such good stuff for some stupid trips to america and disney world no less!

]]> ~Xdra Wow! http://Xdra.deviantart.com/journal/14287211/ http://Xdra.deviantart.com/journal/14287211/ Wed, 22 Aug 2007 11:41:07 PDT

be jealous!

]]> ~Xdra Goodbye... http://Xdra.deviantart.com/journal/14055395/ http://Xdra.deviantart.com/journal/14055395/ Tue, 07 Aug 2007 07:02:58 PDT Life, Love and everything else...

to my subscription! XD you thought I was leaving!

well yeah it will suck with no subscription...

I cant believe my photography course will end at the end of this month... damn. Its been so fun

and amazingly I have read no spoilers and no one has given away the ending to harry potter yet!

im nearly out the woods!

Clubs

]]> ~Xdra Im feeling Irritable..... http://Xdra.deviantart.com/journal/13882325/ http://Xdra.deviantart.com/journal/13882325/ Thu, 26 Jul 2007 02:25:23 PDT Life, Love and everything else...

grrr irritableness...

otherwise, im doing well. I have a newish computer so its nice to have a small 80 gigs to myself - still I could have gotten a much better computer.

photography is going well. Im learning alot through the course but its hilarious seeing the computer illerate trying to do a easy task such as moving photos into a new folder. it kills me a little bit inside

I have a few nice photos to upload but I still have to install photoshop on here so Im going to have to wait till then. uploading 1000 x 800 or so photos is not cool.

the weekend looms yay!

Clubs

]]> ~Xdra Im free Im free Im free! http://Xdra.deviantart.com/journal/13777747/ http://Xdra.deviantart.com/journal/13777747/ Wed, 18 Jul 2007 04:32:37 PDT Life, Love and everything else...

I quit just now after my dad gave me the thumbs up!

im sooooo happy! yay! ^_^

need to find another job tho but im glad its not that place! But in other news I went to my first photography course lesson today. It was beyond awsome.

the only down side is that I was the youngest person there, the oldest looked like she was in her 40's. Only women there surprisingly.

Yes, Lulu is very happy on this day ^_^
lots of smoochies and love to all!

Clubs

]]> ~Xdra Surreal http://Xdra.deviantart.com/journal/13739868/ http://Xdra.deviantart.com/journal/13739868/ Sun, 15 Jul 2007 02:15:28 PDT Life, Love and everything else...

A guy I knew from quite a few years ago now died the other day in a car accident. I wasn't particularly friends with him, in fact I didn't even like him and he tried to bully me on quite a few occasions.

In no way do I hate the guy, in fact I actually understand that hes good at heart or at least thats the impression he gave me. He just seemed quite misunderstood I remember his favourite band was Nirvana and especially Kurt.

I just feel for the loss now that hes created in all his friends lives and especially his family. How do you walk away from a car accident alive without one of your buddies normally? I knew the guy for a long time and barely knew him in the last few years that I've left the school he and I were at.

Life has some weird surprises and shocks...

As for everything else, photography starts on Wednesday. I cant wait! but otherwise I hate my job, the fact that the food is horrible and I have to take direct confrontation with it is annoying. I wish I could tell everyone don't come and eat here! that and I have to learn all these different types of wines and how to make all these different drinks.

First of all - I don't drink. Therefore I don't even care about alcohol. I surely don't care about how you make them.

ugh, I want to find another job or quit and return to making art.

Clubs

]]> ~Xdra