http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:Xirel&section=today deviantART RSS for by:Xirel en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Thu, 17 Dec 2009 07:43:55 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://Xirel.deviantart.com/journal/27805380/ http://Xirel.deviantart.com/journal/27805380/ Fri, 16 Oct 2009 20:41:07 PDT
Secondly, I;m back~!

Lately, I've found it difficult to go online, since I've been getting home at around 10p.m. and am in advanced classes in school; meaning, hours of homework... -.-; Normally I skip the homework but... This year I have to do it xD

Anyways, long story short, not much time to go online.

Just thought I would bore you all with the details of my life

Anyways... Tagged by ~Lost-Remnant!!

A. Post these rules.
B. Each tagged person must post 8 things about themselves on their journal.
C. At the end, you have to choose and tag 8 people and post their icons on the same journal.
D. Go to their pages and send a message saying you tagged them.
E. No tag-backs!

1. I... I... I have no idea what to say.

2. I... Hate... Milk...? [I like flavoured milk though >.>;;]

3. I... Just ate a grilled cheese sandwhich.

4. I like food.

5. I got a job~ Teaching Martial Arts to little kids

6. I am forgetful and spacey, often spending hours inside my head and disregarding the world. >.>

7. I have the same initials as Genesis Rhapsodos. Which is awesome. 'nough said.

8. I found silver strands of hair on my head o.o And not just one or two. Silver amongst reddish-brown, chestnut brown, gold-ish, blonde... I seem to have the whole rainbow on my head xD

I tag~~~~~~







...And there ends my motivation. *shot'd*

]]> ~Xirel http://Xirel.deviantart.com/journal/26761037/ http://Xirel.deviantart.com/journal/26761037/ Sat, 22 Aug 2009 19:03:55 PDT
Anyways, a fairly brief update on the S**t that's going down.

~PROS~
-A got a job: $60/week
-That job is a Martial Arts instructor~<3 [For kids though... But still >.>;]
-I got into the High School I had pretty much given up on
-I went to BC for... A week...?
-I found some friends on facebook I haven't seen in years~<3 [Shoot me; I STILL think facebook is evil, despite its uses... >.> ... <.< ... >.> ...]
-I met an awesome person whom will hear out anything I have to say

~CONS~
-My parents are fighting [nothing new there]
-I'm hard-strapped for cash [also nothing new]
-Neither of my parents will pay my school fees [That... That's new]
-So I have to magically come up with $400 [that would be the minimum; it's definietly more than that] by Wednesday [Not happening]
-Or, convince one of my parents to pay [Definitely not happening]
-Basically, I have to request to the school to let me work my ass off with possibly 2 part-time jobs [$240/month won't cut it] until I have enough money. [I will NOT ask ANYONE to help pay, or even subsidize the cost. That won't work well on my conscience.]
-I have a wasp bite D
So~ I'm in a financial bind by the age of 15... [Sorry, forgot to say I had my birthday in June xD] Not exactly how I envisioned my life at this point, but meh... Life loves f**king with our heads =]

Anyways, that's my current life~ Haha. Expect the unexpected.

]]> ~Xirel http://Xirel.deviantart.com/journal/25884497/ http://Xirel.deviantart.com/journal/25884497/ Sat, 11 Jul 2009 17:31:10 PDT [link]

CLICK IT AGAIN~!

[link]

Mwahaha~ click once more for good luck!!

[link]

Anyways... After you have clicked, I suppose I should explain: It's an ad for my Dojo! I appear for 0.098755676897689 seconds~ See if you can find me xDDD

Anyways, click it again, just 'cause it's that cool

[link]

]]> ~Xirel http://Xirel.deviantart.com/journal/25059274/ http://Xirel.deviantart.com/journal/25059274/ Sun, 31 May 2009 20:33:09 PDT
Oh yes, and a lot of swearing.

-----

I'm pissed off, upset, confused, lonely, but mostly pissed off.

No matter what I do it seems, my mother will always fucking hate me. Everytime I accomplish something, it's thrown back in my face.

Whatever the fuck I do all she'll ever see me as is absolutely nothing.

She fucking chose her goddamned boyfriend's son over me.

And yes, I know, I'm not the most pleasant person. Especially when I'm pissed off, like I am now.

There's nothing about me that counts as a good trait.

You don't know how happy I was that she finally came to one of my Martial Arts tournaments. For ONCE in my life, she actually, seemingly, cared enough to show up.

The time when I needed her most, she left.

She stayed for the kids' division and watched my brothers fight, but then she left.

I went in the adults women's category, nearly broke. My. Arm. AND had to go up against a PURPLE belt, a BLUE belt, and a fucking BLACK belt. And I ALSO twisted my ankle in the teens' division, prior to fighting said blue, purple and black belts.

She knew this. She knew I had to go against people that were bigger, stronger, heavier. AND MUCH MUCH MUCH higher level than me. And she KNEW I was ecstatic that she had FINALLY come.

But no. The entire time, "when is this over? I have to go."

She left.

I was so fucking happy that she even took two minutes from her busy life with her boyfriend to come see my tournament. I was ecstatic.

I should just be happy that she showed up, even if she was late. I should be happy that she was there.

Yet I'm trying not to cry right now, because she left before my division. I'm trying not to cry right now because she left to go see her boyfriend's son instead of stay and watch boring Martial Arts that she doesn't even understand.

I'm being so selfish and needy right now, it sickens me. I came home and tried to show her my fights I got someone to film for me, and she watches for maybe two seconds before talking to her boyfriend. I'm so fucking needy that it kills me EVERY single time I had a tournament and she wasn't there. EVERY time, no matter how well I do, no matter if I take gold, I want to cry alone in my room, just because one person wasn't there.

She finally came. I should just be happy about that. I should just be happy she actually showed up.

But I'm not. I get one taste of what it's like for her to pretend to care, and I'm craving more.

It's like I'm BEGGING to be disappointed. I should just be content that she came.

Just a few seconds ago, I got lectured by her co-worker. My mom was going to take me and my brothers out today when we got home, but then her coworker and boyfriend decide to pop in and have dinner. And yeah, sure, whatever, these things happen.

But apparently, I'm not allowed to get up from the table and hug my older brother I haven't seen for MONTHS when he comes in through the door.

And what do I do? I get up anyways.

I'm half-Brazilian. In Brasil, we get up and greet people.

But noo. That's taboo, apparently, in Canadian culture. In Canadian culture, you don't leave the table. You ignore the brother you haven't seen in months.

Because of that, her 'friend' starts lecturing me. And naturally, I defend myself. I wasn't even outright rude, I was calmly stating that I got up because that's what I was taught to do. But no.

Apparently, I'm a rude, self-centered, unpleasant, young lady, who openly defies her mother. Oh yes, and I'm argumentative.

I asked for it to be explained how I wasn't allowed to greet my brother, because honest to god, I really had no idea. It was unfathomable.

But that makes me unpleasant.

I'm not allowed to defend myself, I'm not allowed to try to understand why I was wrong, and I'm not allowed to ask for explanations.

What I learned today, about, "Canadian culture," is that I'm supposed to blindly follow orders, NEVER be argumentative, NOT to talk AT ALL, and if you're a teenager, shut up and be seen but NEVER heard.

...That's a load of fucked up bull.

I've lived in Canada my whole fucking life. I was fucking BORN here. You'd think in fucking 14 years I'd have picked all of that up.

Oh yeah, and they also say, I'm a teenager, I'm fighting for my independance and it's difficult because there're a lot of chains and boundaries. Yet I'm not allowed to act like a teenager.

I have NEVER swore at my mother, and never out-right disobeyed her on anything major. Her fucking friend seems to think I don't give a fuck about my own mother.

"Your mother is a dear, dear friend of mine, and it hurts me so much that he... ]]> ~Xirel http://Xirel.deviantart.com/journal/24852585/ http://Xirel.deviantart.com/journal/24852585/ Wed, 20 May 2009 07:58:08 PDT
1.) My dad took my computer.
2.) I am haxoring onto D.A. from school.
3.) These brackets are getting annoying to type.
4.) Journal skins?!?! o.O FTW
5.) I am actually studying. Yes, I'm shocked too o.O
6.) I have never studied for a test before in my life.
7.) Reason for studying--> test involves dates/names.
8.) Why that's a problem--> I can remember scientific concepts, but NEVER who did what, who did what when, who discovered what, who is what
9.) Having problems with my mom, nothing new there.
10.) Any day now she's gonna kick me out, like she did with my brother, and I will never go back! Not even if she begs me.
11.) I know, I know. That sounds cruel.
12.) I cosplayed! LE GASP!
13.) Who I cosplayed--> Edward Elric.
14.) I GOT CALLED SHORT DDD<
15.) And I got to throw temper tantrums... >D
16.) If you find an Otafest 2009 Edward cosplay, chances are it's me. As far as I know, there were no other Edward cosplayers.
17.) I will fail my test in last period. Yay!
18.) Yay for cramming! Yay!
19.) Not yay for date/people memorizing >.>;;;
20.) LE GASP 20!!!

Anyways, thus is my life

]]> ~Xirel http://Xirel.deviantart.com/journal/24540961/ http://Xirel.deviantart.com/journal/24540961/ Sat, 02 May 2009 01:01:21 PDT <3

Rules:
1. tag 10 peeps (not the one who sent it to you!)
2. answer all truthfully
3. take it in public!
4. tell all tagges on their profile that they have been tagged, and link to your journal.

~

Info
[x] I am shorter than 5'4. [>.>;;]
[x] I think I'm ugly sometimes. [who doesn't?]
[ ] I have many scars.
[ ] I tan easily. [I don;t tan, and I don't burn o.o]
[/] I wish my hair was a different color. [sometimes xD]
[ ] I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color.
[ ] I have a tattoo.
[/] I am self-conscious about my appearance.
[ ] I have/I've had braces. [I might need them >.>]
[x] I wear glasses
[ ] I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free
[ ] I've been told I'm attractive by a complete stranger.
[ ] I have more than 2 piercing.
[ ] I have piercing in places besides my ears.
[x] I have freckles. [>.>;;]

Family/Home Life
[ ] I've sworn at my parents.
[ ] I've run away from home.
[x] I've been kicked out of the house. [Wasn't pleasant >.> My mom said, "don't bother coming home"...]
[ ] My biological parents are together.
[ ] I have a sibling less than one year old.
[x] I want to have kids someday. [One day, most likely far far away...]
[ ] I've lost a child.

School/Work
[x] I'm in school [D<]
[x] I have a job
[x] I've fallen asleep at work/school. [Guilty xD]
[/] I almost always do/did my homework. [I try to... I just get bored easily D=]
[x] I've missed a week or more of school.
[x] I've been on the Honor Roll within the last 2 years.
[ ] I failed more than 1 class last year
[x] I've stolen something from my job [Sushi 8D!!]
[ ] I've been fired

Embarrassment
[x] I've slipped out an "lol" in a spoken conversation. [More often 'lawls' xD]
[ ] Disney movies still make me cry. [I dun cry for movies... I might come close, but I don't ever cry >.>;;]
[ ] I've peed from laughing.
[x] I've snorted while laughing.
[x] I've laughed so hard I've cried.
[x] I've glued my hand to something.
[x] I've had my pants rip in public. [That's what you get for trying to look cool by flipping over chainlink fences... The second time 'round, my pants got caught xDD]

Health
[ ] I was born with a disease/impairment
[ ] I've gotten stitches/staples. [a couple..]
[x] I've broken a bone. [I fractured my toe xD]
[ ] I've had my tonsils removed.
[ ] I've sat in a doctor’s office/emergency room with a friend. [I was alone D=]
[ ] I've had my wisdom teeth removed.
[ ] I had a serious surgery.
[x] I've had chicken pox.
[ ] I've had measles


Traveling
[x] I've driven over 200 miles in one day
[x] I've been on a plane.
[x] I've been to Canada. [I live here xD]
[ ] I've been to Mexico
[ ] I've been to Niagara Falls.
[ ] I've been to Japan. [I wanna D=]
[ ] I've celebrated Mardi Gras in New Orleans.
[ ] I've been to Europe. [I wanna go there o= 'Tis where mah bff lives x3]
[ ] I've been to Africa.

Experiences
[x] I've gotten lost in my city.
[ ] I've seen a shooting star.
[ ] I've wished on a shooting star
[ ] I've seen a meteor shower.
[x] I've gone out in public in my pajamas. [8D]
[x] I've pushed all the buttons on an elevator. [8DDD]
[ ] I've kicked a guy where it hurts. [I was so close... I missed and got his thigh D<]
[ ] I've been to a casino.
[ ] I've been skydiving.
[ ] I've gone skinny dipping.
[ ] I've played spin the bottle.
[/] I've drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour. [An hour and 16 minutes xD 'cause I love chocolate milk that much, and that's what happens when there's no food and I just get back from Martial arts xDD]
[ ] I've crashed a car.
[ ] I've been skiing.
[x] I've been in a play. [As... A... *twitch* I dun wanna say *twitch*]
[ ] I've met someone in person from myspace.
[x] I've caught a snowflake on my tongue.
[ ] I've seen the Northern lights.
[x] I've sat on a roof top at night.
[ ] I've played chicken.
[x] I've played a prank on someone [>8D]
[x] I've ridden in a taxi.
[ ] I've seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
[x] I've eaten sushi. []
[x] I've been snowboarding.

Relationships
[ ] I'm single
[x] I'm in a relationship
[ ] I'm engaged.
[ ] I'm married.
[ ] I've gone on a blind date. ~Xirel http://Xirel.deviantart.com/journal/24254234/ http://Xirel.deviantart.com/journal/24254234/ Wed, 15 Apr 2009 10:09:04 PDT DDD

It's blocked at school... And I unblocked it 8D

Anyways... Tagged... While at school o.O?

1.YOUR ROCK STAR NAME (first pet, current car): Tonka Toyota [xDDDDD]

2.YOUR GANGSTA NAME (fave ice cream flavor, favorite type of shoe): Strawberry Ummm *checks shoe online...* High Tops. Strawberry High Tops. [o___O xD]

3. YOUR NATIVE AMERICAN NAME (favorite color, favorite animal):
Black Raven [WOO xD]

4. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME (middle name, city where you were born):
LaRae Calgary [._____. xD]

5. YOUR STAR WARS NAME (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 of your first name): Roqga

6. SUPERHERO NAME (2nd favorite color, favorite drink): Blue Green Tea [What a contradiction... xD]

7. NASCAR NAME (the first names of your grandfathers): Roberto Lawrence... Or Lawrence Roberto...?

8. STRIPPER NAME (the name of your favorite perfume/cologne/scent, favorite candy): Cherry blossom pocky [._.]

10. TV WEATHER ANCHOR NAME (your 5th grade teacher’s last name, a major city that starts with the same letter): Robertson Rio de Janeiro

11. SPY NAME: (your favorite season/holiday, flower): Summer cherry blossom

12. CARTOON NAME: (favorite fruit, article of clothing you’re wearing right now): Kiwi Hoodie [no comment xD]

13. HIPPIE NAME: (What you ate for breakfast, your favorite tree): Shreddies and Yogurt Brasil [yes, my country is named after a tree 8D]

I tag...





Mwahaha~

]]> ~Xirel http://Xirel.deviantart.com/journal/23921026/ http://Xirel.deviantart.com/journal/23921026/ Fri, 27 Mar 2009 17:16:38 PDT *glomps XPandaCrackersX for helping <3*

Got tagged by

1. Are you ready for 50 questions?
50 QUESTIONS?!?!?!

2. Which state/country do you live?
Canadaaaaaaa... >.>;; ... <.<;; ... >.>;; Eh... *thought chu all would knowz that by nowz xD*

3. What is your favorite thing you got for Christmas?
Um... Mah labtop-- the home of all things... Computer-y o.o

4. What was the last thing you did in 2007?
...Count down 'till '08...? I dunno >.>

5. How tall are you?
I dun wanna answer that Dx ......... ^{Barely 5 feet}

6. Are you new on dA? How long have you been a member?
I dunno O= *checks* o.o A year already... *missed d.a.versary >.>;;*

7. Are you male or female?
Female o.O

8. Which program do you use to chat?
DAMN! *loves the name xD*

9. What was the first thing you did this morning?
Tried to go back to sleep

10. Do you own a website or forum?
Nuu o.o

11. Is the computer you're using your own computer?
I think so o.o;;

12. What is your favorite type of food?
Do I have to choose?? Dx I guess... Sushi <3 Or Churrasco... [Brazilian BBQ] I can't choose >.> Ah, then there's Pockys... >.
13. How many brothers and sisters do you have?
1 half-brother, 1 half-sister, 2 brothers o.o

14. Do you have an account on myspace?
Nu.

15. What is your favorite video game or anime character?
Final Fantasy Crisis Core <3 'Tis win

16. What is your favorite color?
It be black.

17. Everyone loves candy, right?
My dad doesn't... o.o

18. Have you ever gotten a gift art from a friend or someone?
Not that I remember... I got a gift Fanfic, but arts no...

19. Do you have the Wii?
My brother does o.o

20. (IF YES TO QUESTION 19.) What Wii games do you have?
I dunno Dx

21. If you could have one wish, what would it be?
One wish... To become a Mangaka.

22. How long do you sleep?
If I can sleep as long as I want, all day... Lol. But I wake up at around 9-10 hours usually

23. What is your favorite part of day?
Twilight!! And sunset! >w<

24. What kind of creature/person is your character?
I be... A brainless leaf~

25. What is the first letter of your name?
G

26. Do you cuss/swear/curse?
I would nevah swear or curse!! D< I cuss!!!!

27. Are you happy, excited, angry, or sad at the moment?
Nnnn... Slightly sad >.>

28. What is your favorite video game?
FF: Crisis Core FTW~!

29. Do you think Nintendo is an amazing company?
Squuuuuaaaarrrreee Ennniiiiixxxxxxx >.> [But I do love Nintendo for dee DS]

30. What is your favorite video game company?
*Points at above question*

31. Do you like doing quizzes?
Since I haves no life, sometimes

32. Do you have a lot of good friends?
IRL or online or both...? o.o IRL: good friends not many... Online... Lemme check. 41.

33. What color eyes do you have?
Green, bordering on blue... o.o I think... Or is it the other way around...? I dunno >.>;;

34. What is your favorite Pokémon?
Dx Choices... Nuu... Umm... Seviper...? Altaria/Swablu...? Torchic...? Gyarados...? I dunno... o.o

35. Have you ever seen a house on fire?
Hold on lemme Google... Now I have

36. What is your favorite book?
._. I can't... Remember... *Trying to think of what's on her bookshelf* Do Manga count...? >.>;; If no then... Cold Blooded...??? *The only real novel on her book shelf, besides Twilight which is overly cliche and too predictable >.>*shot'd**

37. Have you ever read a 100 paged book?
Yus.... ]]> ~Xirel http://Xirel.deviantart.com/journal/23880172/ http://Xirel.deviantart.com/journal/23880172/ Wed, 25 Mar 2009 09:58:12 PDT
Secondly: None of my scripts are working Dx They were working last time I was online...

In case you don't know what I'm talking about: DAx/ nickname script/ colors/ away message thingy...

For the chats. If anyone can help...?

...I miss mah colors Dx

]]> ~Xirel http://Xirel.deviantart.com/journal/23224966/ http://Xirel.deviantart.com/journal/23224966/ Sun, 15 Feb 2009 21:41:12 PST
I really have to find my scanner... I've got crack comics galore to post xD [Well... Just one and a half...]

As well, manga-stuff will be delayed, as this stupid %$#@er who has a... *twitches* crush... *twitches* on me... Decided to bust my inking pen. Dun'no if it was meant to gain my attention or an accident... Regardless, I am without a pen. xD

Now for a poll of sorts xD

It revolves entirely on Fanworks...

Question:
Should Xirel continue onwards with Crisis Core stuff...?

Answers:
a]NONONONONO
b]YESYESYESYESYES
c]More literature!
d]Manga version of current literature!
e]Crisis Core High school AU!
f]Nuuuu! Reveal the fandom you're currently occupied with!
g]Gaaahhh!!!! Too many options!!!
h]*'splodes*
i]Focus more on your original stuff vs. fan stuff
j]Other~

I vote g and h

I have inspirations... Need to do something... Anything...

And on an ending note: I are starting commissions. If you have any characters from literatures or other and need an artist... *implications implications implications xD*

I have decided, since I need a job for support before I can make it as a Mangaka, I want to be a character designer for video games Like Tetsuya Nomura

[Originally, here was my train of thought: Teacher? Too little money. Police? Dad said no. Detective? Need to be police before a detective. Website designer? Maybe. Something in video games? WAY TOO many coworkers o.o Tetsuya-like person? So far so good, until I find out something that will discourage me xDDDDD]

[[Everytime I found a job I thought I might be good at, there was always something that made me unable... Such as Police: They have a height limit -_____-;;]]

So, until I find another reason I can't change that makes me uneligible, I shall aim to be a Video game character designer

Oh, yes, one last thing, although I said the previous was the last [>.>;;] I showed my manga to two guys at work about a month ago to check my Japanese grammars [one of them said he understood 50% xDDD] and one of the guys asked me today if I could bring my Manga next time I worked ^^ I feel loved~~~~

That is all xD

]]> ~Xirel http://Xirel.deviantart.com/journal/22883901/ http://Xirel.deviantart.com/journal/22883901/ Thu, 29 Jan 2009 11:36:06 PST
Once upon a time... In a land not that far away, [Xirel's house], Xirel came home from Jiu-Jitsu, as is an ordinary ritual on Wednesdays. Her dad had asked her about how her mom's new house was, which she hated, so she told him that. Of course, being him, he asked why, and Xirel replied that she had half a room, and that at least, though, it was better than no room at all. After a hefty conversation on her mother, it turned to Xirel's work, because she was requesting if she could work on Thursday, to which her dad said yes. Then he asked her about school, and she said she had homework still and requested to borrow his computer since it required internet. Then after a long lecture, she got her labtop back. Voila! C'est la vie! *shot'd for bad French* And then, the bubbles floated idly in the air over some random backyard, before a 3-yr-old esploded-ed them with his finger missile.

...Don't ask where that came from...

Anyways... I'm back xD

I shall post more stuffs when I unpack mah scanner and fix it... >.<

]]> ~Xirel http://Xirel.deviantart.com/journal/22810467/ http://Xirel.deviantart.com/journal/22810467/ Sun, 25 Jan 2009 18:44:52 PST And I doubt he's giving it back anytime soon... *Sobs in a corner*

So... I may be able to log in every once in a while... >.>;;

Like... Every two weeks when I'm at my mom's xD

Anyways, see you guys in at least two weeks/when my dad decides to give my poor computer back

]]> ~Xirel http://Xirel.deviantart.com/journal/22406275/ http://Xirel.deviantart.com/journal/22406275/ Mon, 05 Jan 2009 01:39:03 PST
To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars.
See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice!

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.

4. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks . Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.

5. In the Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write ' For Marijuana'

6. Skip down the hall Rather Than Walk and see how many looks you get.

7. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

8. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To Go'.

9. Sing Along At The Opera.

10. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You have a headache.

11. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream 'I Won! I Won!'

12. When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Parking lot, Yelling 'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!'

13. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, 'Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.'

And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity

14. PICK UP A BOX OF CONDOMS AT THE PHARMACY, GO TO THE COUNTER AND ASK WHERE THE FITTING ROOM IS.

]]> ~Xirel http://Xirel.deviantart.com/journal/22400921/ http://Xirel.deviantart.com/journal/22400921/ Sun, 04 Jan 2009 18:20:02 PST
I dun'no xD

Anyways... I was at my Grandmothers for all of Christmas, and I also spent some time at my Auntie's house to help her look after her almost 1-year-old twins.

No internet so... Yeah xD

Anyways, a very late Happy New Year and Merry Christmas to all of you~!



]]> ~Xirel http://Xirel.deviantart.com/journal/22145851/ http://Xirel.deviantart.com/journal/22145851/ Tue, 23 Dec 2008 16:15:08 PST
1) Moon Child is the best movie in the Universe. *Insert Xirel going crazy here* I want to buy it now xD Whoever is reading this, I command you watch it!!

===> [link]

[Requires an account, but 100% free.]

2) You all better have the best Cristmas you can this year, 'cause I sure as hell won't. If you don't, I will beat you with this fish->

That is all~

Merry Christmas~!

]]> ~Xirel http://Xirel.deviantart.com/journal/21924021/ http://Xirel.deviantart.com/journal/21924021/ Wed, 10 Dec 2008 23:39:06 PST
And... I want a Fella plushie... Q~Q Random thought.

I reeeaaallllyyyy want to start on my "Cinderella" stuffs but I can't... For two reasons.

1) It is Half hour past midnoght. I need light to see my paper. I turn on light, my dad will catch me up... [He always does. I SWEAR he has the eyes of an apple with eyes!!!! Or was I s'osed to say eyes of a hawk...? owo]

2) I MUST finish my 3rd page for my Manga. My lovely Editor-chan, ~Deizari, has had no work... And I feel the need to work her to death >DDDD

Annnnyyyywwwwaaaayyyyssss... I have nothing to do QoQ I are unable to sleep...

[What's with me and Q faces all of a sudden...? Q___Q;;;]

]]> ~Xirel http://Xirel.deviantart.com/journal/21904080/ http://Xirel.deviantart.com/journal/21904080/ Tue, 09 Dec 2008 18:28:10 PST
Anyways... I'm going to make a doujinshi~~~~

The cast...?

Genesis: Cinderella
Sephiroth: Cinderella's daddy
Minerva: Cinderella's mommy
Jenova: Cinderella's stepmommy
Cloud and Zack: Cinderella's "evil" stepsisters
Angeal: Prince Charming
Rufus: The King
Tseng: Grand Duke
Aerith: Blue fairy, or in Genesis's mind: "Apple Genie"
Stupid-Apple: Apple-coach pulled by... Apples... With legs...

Obviously, it's a comedy. xD

Sneak-preview:

Genesis: *Rolls eyes and yanks off his boot, tossing it over his shoulder while he leaves.*

Angeal: "... Ok, now what?"

Narrator: "Now, you find the shoe."

Angeal: *Gives narrator a wierd look*

Narrator: "Just, find it!"

Angeal: *Highly sarcastic voice* "Oh, wow, a shoe... Lovely. Well, it's obviously Genesis's, because no other guy in hsi right mind would wear high-heeled leather boots. Even if he is, 'retending,' to be a woman. I should try the shoe on every woman in the Kingdom, even though it would be pretty easy to spot a redhead with one shoe missing!"

Narrator: "..."

Angeal: "Happy...?"

Narrator: "... Not until you go and try it on every woman in the Kingdom."

Angeal: "%$#@?!"

---

Wah hah hah hah.

Full of crossdressing, forced weddings, world domination, and of course... More world domination~~~ ^o^

Which will... Take me a million years to draw out xDDDD

]]> ~Xirel http://Xirel.deviantart.com/journal/21837158/ http://Xirel.deviantart.com/journal/21837158/ Fri, 05 Dec 2008 19:10:43 PST
Which Highschool...? I have a couple options...

School 1:

Pro: Best school in my city: praised for it's Academics and definetely a good impression for Universities. [My love is going there... x3]

Con: In a VERY dangerous part of the city; I'm talking shootings/hobos/drugs/etc...

School 2:

Pro: Normal highschool; the only school I could take that does not require Public bus; in that it is in my school District

Con: RUMOURS[Don't know if it's true] Really hardcore druggies present, and a lot of them

School 3: 3 votes so far xD

Pro: Art school~~~~ Shine~~~~~ Need I say more..? xDDD It gives you an edge for careers that need any artistic talent. They will look at someone from this school differently than they would another school; this is partly due to the fact that to even get IN you need to show them your artistic talent; aka: art portfolio.

Con: None except that I would have to continue using public transportation until I'm 16 and have a car... = D

---

Anyways... Those are my options. What you guys think...?

---

Now for my rant.

--

GVFFFFFFAQHUSKLHDKLWHBNDWLQNL I HATE MY ART TEACHER SO MUCH!!!!

SHE IS SUCH A-- GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

BGFHDJGFHJWGFHJRGWYHEGFEJLGHRFJEGJGRFJEJRHLEUFBEUFHBUEJHFUJEHRFUJHEQKL!!!!!1

SHE GAVE ME SUCH A LOW MARK!!! AND WHY?!?!?! BECAUSE I HAVE A DIFFERENT ART STYLE THAN SHE DOES!!!!

SHE'S MAD AT ME BECAUSE I REFUSE TO "LIGHTEN UP MY SHADING"!!!

JUST BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO HAVE THE WHITE OF MY PAPER FOR HIGHLIGHTS AND THE DARKEST MY PENCIL CAN POSSIBLY GO FOR SHADOW AND A HAVE A GODDAMNED STARK CONTRAST!!!

I LIKE MY GREY GRADUAL TRANSITION FOR SHADING THANK YOU VERY MUCH!!!! NOT EVERYONE DRAWS THE SAME WAY! eVERY ARTIST HAS HIS OR HER OWN UNIQUE STYLE! IF THEY DON'T THEY'RE ART THIEVES/TRACERS/COPIERS!!!

GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anyways... That's enough for now. And it's not just me; everyone hates her. She doesn't know art. She cannot draw a stickman.

She thinks 80% is a high mark!!!

My old art teacher gave me over a 95% every time!!! She at least recognizes her studenst have different styles!!!!

But this teacher nooo~~~~

So apparently over the course of two years my art skill did not improve. It worsened, based on "Ms.Brady"s marking...

And, I have been told that she ONLY gives high marks if she sees a major improvemet; aka, if you SUCKED at the start of the year.

And, she commented on my grade. She said, the FULL comment, EXACTLY what she wrote: "Drawings show a very good understanding of perspective and how to create a sense of depth."

HER EXACT WORDS!!!

THIS WHOLE TERM WAS ON THOSE TWO THINGS!!!

AND the things she taught this year,

I LITERALLY LEARNED WHEN I WAS 8!!! IN GRADE 4!!! OVER 5 YEARS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!

Anyways, I'm done now.

]]> ~Xirel http://Xirel.deviantart.com/journal/21630740/ http://Xirel.deviantart.com/journal/21630740/ Sun, 23 Nov 2008 12:24:00 PST
I'll be posting the two pages up tomorrow... In Japanese [With English in the artist comment] And if there is any actual Japanese-speaking people who read it, if I have a grammar mistake, would you mind correcting me...? I don't pretend to be perfectly fluent; I only know enough to be able to survive in Japan; not necessarily enough to have a entire conversation in Japanese. [Although I did have a short one with Matto-san... He's funny xDDDD]

Anyways... The more critique I can get on my Manga, the better.

The main things I'm looking for:

1)What did you like?
2)What did you dislike?
3)What should I change?
4)What should I keep the same?
5)Does it grab your attention/want you to read more?
6)If not, how can I fix it..?

Any critique you have for me will greatly help. I have a heart of IRON. This means that no matter what you will say it will not hurt my feelings, and I will take what you say and use it to improve.

But... I would rather not hear, "This sucks." Or even, "This is awesome." What I WANT to hear though, is something more along the lines of, "This sucks because..." or, "This is awesome because..."

"Because," is the magic word here... xDDD

Anyone who does critique... Thank you sooooo much!!!! You are a great help and I love you! *GLOMP*

Whoever does critique will get a cookie... xDDDD

Anyways, I shall shut up now x3

Thanks again~!!!

]]> ~Xirel http://Xirel.deviantart.com/journal/21475582/ http://Xirel.deviantart.com/journal/21475582/ Thu, 13 Nov 2008 19:22:51 PST
*Runs around in circles with nothing to do*

Haha I finally got off mah lazy butt for long enough to almost complete my second manga page... I am still lacking inspiration. I'll post it once I get to 4 pages...?

*spins*

... *trips*

......*hits head on pavement*

.........*concussion*

............*turns into a leaf and blows away in teh winds of... Windyness*

...............*Is very bored*

]]> ~Xirel http://Xirel.deviantart.com/journal/21417822/ http://Xirel.deviantart.com/journal/21417822/ Mon, 10 Nov 2008 09:04:36 PST >;;

Tagged-ed by

Total: 100%
[ ] Smoked
[x] Drank alcohol [A sip of sake!! x3]
[ ] Cried when someone died
[ ] Been drunk
[ ] Had sex
[ ] Been to a concert
[ ] Gotten/given a handjob
[ ] Gotten/given oral
[x] Been verbally/sexually harassed
[ ] Verbally/sexually harassed somebody
Total left: 98

[x] Felt someone up and/or been felt up [And my dad threatened him >DDD]
[ ] Laughed so hard something came out of your nose
[ ] Cheated on a boyfriend/girlfriend before
[ ] Been cheated on by a boyfriend/girlfriend
[ ] Been to formal/prom
[x] Cried at school [o_O]
[x] Gotten lost in a department store [>>;;;;;]
[ ] Went streaking
[ ] Given or received a lap dance
[x] Had someone of the opposite sex in your room [My dad xD]
Total left: 94

[ ] Had someone of the opposite sex sleep over
[ ] Slept over at someone of the opposite sex's house
[ ] Kissed a stranger
[ ] Hugged a stranger
[ ] Went scuba diving
[x] Driven a car
[ ] Gotten an x-ray
[ ] Hit by a car
[ ] Had a party
[ ] Done serious drugs
Total left: 93

[ ] Played strip poker/darts
[ ] Got paid to strip for someone
[ ] Ran away from home
[x] Broken a bone
[x] Eaten sushi
[ ] Bought porn
[ ] Watched porn
[ ] Made porn
[x] Had a crush on someone of the same sex [*runs away*]
[x] Been in love
Total left: 89

[x] French kissed [Haha]
[x] Laughed so hard you cried [.... >>]
[x] Cried yourself to sleep
[ ] Laughed yourself to sleep
[ ] Stabbed yourself
[ ] Shot a gun
[ ] Trash talked someone and then acted like their best friend the next day [o____o]
[x] Been online for 9 consecutive hours
[x] Watched TV for 9 consecutive hours
[ ] Watched an animal die
Total left: 84

[ ] Watched a person die
[x] Kissed and/or messed around somewhere with at least 1 person [Just kiss...]
[x] Pranked somebody [>3]
[ ] Put somebody in the hospital
[ ] Snuck into someone's room and/or your own room after being out
[x] Kissed somebody of the same sex [*runs around in circles*]
[x] Dressed punk [It was fun xDD]
[x] Dressed goth
[ ] Dressed preppy
[ ] Been to a motocross race
Total left: 79

[x] Avoided somebody [And failed... >>;;]
[x] Been stalked
[ ] Stalked someone
[ ] Met a celebrity
[x] Played an instrument
[ ] Ridden a horse
[x] Cut yourself
[ ] Bungee jumped
[ ] Ding dong ditched somebody [Wha'?]
[ ] Been to a wild party
Total left: 75

[ ] Been caught stealing something
[ ] Kicked/punched a guy in the balls
[ ] Stolen a boyfriend/girlfriend from a friend
[ ] Gone out with your friend's crush
[ ] Got arrested
[ ] Been pregnant
[x] Baby sat
[x] Been to another country
[ ] Started your house on fire
[ ] Had an encounter with a ghost
Total left: 73

[ ] Donated your hair to cancer patients
[x] Been asked out by someone that you never thought you'd be asked out by
[ ] Cried over a member of the opposite sex
[x] Had Boyfriend/girlfriend for over 2 months [I can't remember how long... I think...?]
[x] Sat on your butt all day
[x] Ate a whole carton of ice cream all by yourself
[x] Had a job [HAVE a job =3]
[ ] Gotten cut from a sports team
[ ] Been called a whore
[ ] Danced like a whore
Total left: 68

[ ] Been told you resemble a celebrity
[x] Been in a car accident
[x] Been told you have beautiful eyes [>////<]
[x] Been told you have beautiful hair [That one was from my mom]
[ ] Raped somebody
[ ] Danced in the rain
[ ] Been rejected
[ ] Left a restaurant without paying
[ ] Punched someone/slapped someone in the face
[ ] Been raped
Total left = 65%

65% Virgin... o___________O;;; Woah...

I tag... Too lazy to tag others... Too much running xDDD

http://Xirel.deviantart.com/journal/21206204/ Tue, 28 Oct 2008 17:25:52 PDT

-High Class-

[ ] You go/have gone tanning [You can literally get cancer that way...]
[x] You own an iPod/Mp3 player [Shuffle. Old kind! *Had an old nano but... Got stolen TT^TT]
[x] You love Starbucks [= DDDDD]
[x] You've been called spoiled or a brat
[ ] You have tons of shoes [A flip-flop from Brazil and a sneaker o.o;;]
[ ] You love going shopping [Hecks no! *unless it's art shopping then that's a different story...*]
[x] You own a laptop

-Gothic-

[x] Black is your favorite color
[ ] You wear chains
[ ] You've shopped at Hot Topic [Wal-Mart xDDD]
[x] You've worn black lipstick [For Halloween... xD]
[x] You have/had/wanted piercings [Just ears..]
[ ] You own a pair of Tripp pants [Wha??? o.o What's that..?]
[ ] You have at least one unnaturally hair-colored friend



-Skater-

[x] You can skate
[ ] You like plaid [Wha...?]
[ ] You have/love Converse [Stop using words I don't know >.[ ] You hate Mtv [I don't watch much Tv, so I'm neutral xD]
[x] You have/had/wanted blue, pink, red, orange, or green hair
[ ] You love moehawks
[x] You love music
[x] You hate posers


-Emo-

[x] You are depressed sometimes
[ ] You have dark colored, thick rimmed glasses
[ ] You cry easily
[x] You like emo music
[ ] You keep a journal/diary [Does D.A. count...?]
[x] You've written a sad poem
[x] You've dyed your hair
[ ] You're sad when you're drunk [*Has not been drunk...*]

-Ghetto-

[ ] You like rap
[ ] You've said; "Fo Sho, Fo Shizzle, Fo Sheezy, etc."
[ ] You've worn/wanted a gril [Again with the words I don't know >.[ ] You have a freestyling contest [Gah, what is this, confuse-Xirel-day?!]
[ ] You've said the 'n' word to an african-american and didn't get punched [xD]
[ ] You know most of the lines to 'Boyz in Da Hood'. [Which?]
[ ] You own a gigantic gold chain with a large gold pendant

-Hardcore-

[x] You like loud music
[x] You like/love the Ninja Turtles [Used to watch it when I was younger... xD Raphael was teh bested]
[ ] You've had slip-on shoes
[ ] You like Norma Jean [...Who?]
[x] You've been called a freak lovingly
[ ] You love to 'hardcore' dance [I cannot dance, and normally refrain from doing so xD]
[ ] Your hair has been dyed more than one color
[x] You wear jeans a lot

-Prep-

[ ] You love the OC [-.-; More words I do not know...]
[ ] Your outfits usually consist of some type of pink [no pink, black ]
[ ] You like buying shoes a lot
[x] You say awesome at least once a day [*is guilty*]... ]]> ~Xirel http://Xirel.deviantart.com/journal/21071933/ http://Xirel.deviantart.com/journal/21071933/ Sun, 19 Oct 2008 22:24:31 PDT HE GOES MISSING FOR TWO DAYS, THEN ALL HE CAN SAY TO ME IS, "I would've told you if I was dead."

NBVHRFJDBSFKJDGHAFDGASYUKFHASDGHFJLSDHDKJSHDJKALSDASKLDXM

GODDAMMIT.

Last I saw him was Friday morning, before school. He doesn't show up yesterday when he's supposed to pick me and my brothers up for Martial Arts, nor does he answer his phone, home and cell.

So I think, 'Oh, he's just being irresponsible again, and forgot his phone at home, therefore can't call us to tell us he's running late and can't pick us up,' or something along that lines.

But then it becomes wierder, as I call him to pick me up from work, and he's still not answering. So I called my mom, she hadn't heard from him. I asked Chieko-san to help me call a cab, but one guy offered to drive me. So he drove me to my mom's house. There, I called my Aunt, who hadn't heard from him.

I called my Grandma, who hadn't heard from him. I tried calling my Grandpa, but he didn't pick up.

My Aunt gets my Uncle to come all the way from Airdrie to come pick up my keys, and drive me to my Dad's, to check if he's home.

Guess what? 20 minutes later, he calls from my Grandpa's phone, asking me, "what's the problem?"

WHAT THE HELL. YOU COMPLETELY DISAPPEAR, AND ASK ME WHAT THE PROBLEM IS???

Apparently, he, "forgot," to tell me he was going to F$%&ing British Columbia!!!

While he was forgetting to tell me he was in another Province, I was here, dreaming up a million different things that could have happened to him!

I have ONE WORD for him: JERK.

I'm sorry. I needed to blow some steam so I don't kill him myself when I see him.

]]> ~Xirel http://Xirel.deviantart.com/journal/21051502/ http://Xirel.deviantart.com/journal/21051502/ Sat, 18 Oct 2008 17:54:39 PDT I forgot to update the fanfics... >
x___X;;; I haven't updated since coming back from Brazil...

Gah. Again very sorry...

Also, can I get some advice? There's this guy in my class who CONSTANTLY flirts with me! I thought I made it clear I wasn't interested... He reaks of cigarette >< I can't stand it. He invades my personal space, and lies to impress me.

Seriously, he says he had a black belt in Karate when he was a KID.

And that he was trying to get his "double black."

I do Martial Arts. I KNOW there is no such thing! I have been training Jiu-Jitsu for I think 10 or 11 years, and I am only at green! I CAN'T get my blue until 16, the age where I will be graded with the adult system. It is impossible for him to have a black belt.

I spend at least 2-3 years in each belt. I should know. xP Also, I did do a bit of Karate when I was... 4... xDDD But only a little ㄱㄱ;;; My dad is black in Karate! Blue in Judo, Brown in Jiu-Jitsu... I even asked him to be sure, and he laughed the implication of, "double black," and asked what idiot told me that.

Anyways, he's an idiot, and he obviously only wants sex. I even told him, to intimidate him, that my father owns a Martial Arts dojo, and is the Sensei. Which is true. It didn't work.

o____O;;; How do I get him off my back? I am not interested in guys like that >
Grr. I seem to only attract guys like that lately ㄱㄱ;;; I dun wanna boyfriend Dx Expecially if they're disrespectful!!! And the ones that aren't disrespectful aren't interested so... Yeah.

I is going to start wearing mah baggy sweater again = D

[Oh yes, and those of you who know me irl, do not be surprised if I get suspended from school. "ASSraf" [xD] has bothered me for three years now, since grade 7 D< I am going to kick his @$$ if he talks to me again!! I already warned him! I'm tired of just letting people bug me and ignoring them. I refuse to be seen as weak/vulnerble/victim-y D< Oh yes and the same goes for Erin! He pisses me off! Seriously, taking glasses from a kid younger than him, then leaving it at the bus stop! >< I just can't take it anymore.]

On a happier note... I bought all the things I need to start properly inking my Manga = D [Except screentones, which aren't sold in Canada, as far as I know TT^TT]

I love Michael art store thingy!! It smells nice x3 It's like... Heaven... So... Art-filled... *Has never seen so much art in one place...*

And Angeal... I miss you >


]]> ~Xirel http://Xirel.deviantart.com/journal/20954650/ http://Xirel.deviantart.com/journal/20954650/ Sun, 12 Oct 2008 14:05:43 PDT Sorry I haven't been posting anything since I got back from Brazil >< My dad JUST bought a router. [which he did TODAY] so now I have an internet access whenever I want so... Expect those updates?

I got my green belt! Yay! After two or three years of being orange ^o^ [you do not progress belts very fast in Jiu-Jitsu] annnd... The guys who got their purple/blue belts, I got to whip 'em with mah green >DDDD

The tradition? When you get a new belt [if you're blue or above only] you have to face what is called, "The Corridor," which is where all the people present that day line up on either side of you, and depending on which belt you got, you have to walk a certain amount of times [WALK not RUN] through the people, and as you pass they get to whip you with their belts xDD

I can't wait 'till my dad gets his black... He'll get to walk 10 times >DDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

Anyways, that was fun. Altemar started running/screaming on his second last round xDDD

I'll soon be posting my manga, but I want to know if you guys want me to post it every time I finish a page, two pages, more pages, or every time I finish a chapter?

Oh yes, and I will STOP posting my manga if I don't get critique. That would be the whole reason I'm going to post it at all, since I want to send it to be published and the more critique I can get the better. So if no one comments/critiques, I'm going to figure no one wants to read it, and if they do they just glance at it, not even bothering to type more than, "nice!"

Sorry if I sound mean. This weekend has not been the best for me. Do not ask, because I do not want to talk about.

***

I have been tagged by

Dear :

Dear Funex:

I don't really know how to tell you this, but our romance is over. I think I realized it when you put cuffs on me in your camping car and I saw you sit on my best friend. I'm sure you're ashamed enough to understand that Extreme Home Make-overs suck. I'm returning your ring to you, but I'll keep my virginity as a memory. You should also know that I always wanted to break eggplant-fetishism.

Go burn,
-Genesis Rhapsodos-

Genesis had the same initials as me anyways so... xD it works

RULES:
Do the "Letter MEME". Tag no less than 5 other people, and leave them a comment, informing them that they have been tagged. Then copy the "How-to" Letter Meme, and finish your Journal entry.

-> How you do the Letter Meme:

Dear (the last person who left a comment on your journal):

I don't really know how to tell you this, but ___1___. I think I realized it ___2___ ___3___ and I saw you ___4___ ___5___. I'm sure you're ___6___ enough to understand ___7___. I'm returning ___8___ to you, but I'll keep ___9___ as a memory. You should also know that I ___10___ ___11___ .

___12___,
-Your name-

1. What's the color of your shirt?
Blue - Our romance is over
Red - Our affair is over
White - I'll join the monastery
Black - I dislike you
Green - Our horoscope doesn't match
Grey - You're a pervert
Yellow - I'm selling myself
Pink - Your nostrils are insulting
Brown - The mafia wants you
No shirt - You're a loser
Other - I'm in love with your sister


2. Which is your birth month?
January - That night
February - Last year
March - When your dwarf bit me
April - When I tripped on sesame seeds
May - First of May
June - When you put cuffs on me
July - When I threw up
August - When I saw the shrunken head
September - When we skinny dipped
October - When I quoted Santa
November - When your dog ran amok
December - When I changed tennis shoes


3. Which food do you prefer?
Tacos - In your apartment
Pizza - In your camping car
Pasta - Outside of Chicago
Hamburgers - Under the bus
Salad - As you ate enchilada
Chicken - In your closet
Kabob - With Paris Hilton
Fish - In women's clothing
Sandwiches - At the Hare Krishna graduation
Lasagna - At the mental hospital
Hot dog - Under a state of trance
None of the above - With George Bush and his wife


4. What's the color of your socks?
Yellow - Hit on
Red - Insult
Black - Ignore
Blue - Knock out
Purple - Pour syrup on
White - Carve your initials into
Grey - Pull the clothes off
Brown - Put leeches on
Orange - Castrate
Pink - Pull the toupee off
Barefoot - Sit on
Other - Drive out


5. What's the color of your underwear?
Black - My best friend
White - My father
Grey - Bill C... ]]> ~Xirel http://Xirel.deviantart.com/journal/20244522/ http://Xirel.deviantart.com/journal/20244522/ Sat, 30 Aug 2008 22:56:10 PDT Eh... Shoot me. I lost ALL mah fights xDDD

Hey, too much pressure. IT WAS SUCH A SMAALLLLL ROOOMMMM WITH WAAAYYYY TOO MANY PEOPLE!!!! [OVER 30 PEOPLE!!!]

I lost my fights for the STUPIDEST things!!!

I LOST TO A F**KING WHITE BELT DDDDDDDDx!!!

Yeah... ㄱㄱ;;;

I got too... I 'unno... People-phobia-phied?

I forgot almost everything I knew, and all I could think about was, "Sooooo many people are watching me! DDDx My Dad is going to be really disappointed!"

I doubt he's bringing me to another tournament. I mean, he brought me, not my brothers, and I completely suicided on this tournament. I'm the goddamned Sensei's daughter! I should have at least won to the white belt!

The white belt, who by the way, happened to be the same guy I knocked out last time --;

Damn... And did I mention that I almost got knocked out myself? BY the guy I knocked out?? I thought I could get out of his choke, but I couldn't, and I just made it tighter. I kept fighting, starting feeling faint, and tapped --;;;;;

I HATE guillotines!!! They get me every single time!!! [Guillotine is the choke he used on me, which requires a lot of physical strength, which I lack, to escape Dx]

And what's worse? My Mom KNEW how important this was to me! Yet, she takes my siblings and her friend to a hotspring, not even giving me so much as a good luck. When my Dad gets me home, it's past 11:00 P.M. and she's not even waiting for me. Right now, she doesn't even know I'm HOME.

Guess who asked about my tournament result as soon as I got on MSN? Not my mom!

And that person who asked, also previously asked if she could watch me fight. She said she also didn't care if I won or lost.

My Mom asked once before if she could come to a competition held in my father's Martial Arts gym, and I told her the date two months in advance. However, she, "magically forgot," and scheduled a night-out with her boyfriend on THAT particular date.

And she says she cares about me. She can't even worry enough to know if I even got HOME at ALL.

Anyways, enough of that... I got tagged by xD Gr to you!

Rules of the game:

- Choose a singer/band/group
- Answer using ONLY titles of songs by that singer/band/group
- Tag 6 more people (let them know they've been tagged)

Damn... Must find artist with ENGLISH song titles! [If they're not Japanese, they're Brazilian xD]

I have choosen: Gackt it is! [He has English titles at least xD]

1. Are you male or female?
Fragrance

2. Describe yourself.
Ash

3. What do people feel when they're around you?
Intro [How should I know??? xD Intro works, I guess?]

4. How would you describe your previous relationship?
Solitary [Didn't have one xP]

5. Describe your current relationship.
Missing [Not in one xP]

6. Where would you want to be now?
[I would say, "solitary," but I already am so...] Another World

7. How do you feel about love?
Farewell

8. What's your life like?
Birdcage

9. What would you ask for if you had only one wish?
Last Song [xDDD]

10. Say something wise.
Papa Lapped A Pap Lopped [8D]

Eh... I tag... Do I know 6 people? o__O;; Hold on...

1. cutecookiecat
2. BlackMage12
3. Kisa-fan-chan

My brain is half asleep. Being in the car a few hours does that to you xD

Eh... 3 works, neh? [can't tag Angeal or Brat Dx They've already been tagged]



[I wanna try it backwards 8D!!]


<... ]]> ~Xirel http://Xirel.deviantart.com/journal/20212486/ http://Xirel.deviantart.com/journal/20212486/ Fri, 29 Aug 2008 03:08:59 PDT OBSESSIONOBSESSIONOBSESSIONOBSESSION!!!

I finished watching the whole 13 episodes... Lovelovelovelovelove!!! Weee~

Ahem. Anyways.

I like Ageha xD He's so hilarious...

You probably don't know what I'm talking about... ㄱㄱ;;;

RH Plus is a Japanese Drama about 4 vampires. HINTED shounen-ai between the characters at points, but there is no actual proofs.

Anyways... I love it xD

[I was disappointed that there is next to nothing in D.A. about RH Plus... I should change that, neh?]

Anyways... Again... [xD]Fanfics are a bit late... So no nagging! xD They're coming... Soon... ㄱㄱ;;;

Going to F.E.O. My Dad shocked me by saying he had already signed me up for another year there instead of... Montgomery...

>DDDDD I get to torture you for another year, neh, Brat? Kukuku...

School's on Tuesday DDDX Nuuuuu!!!

Anyways... RH PLUS ISH AWESOME!!! >< I wish there was more!!! DDDx

]]> ~Xirel http://Xirel.deviantart.com/journal/20036960/ http://Xirel.deviantart.com/journal/20036960/ Tue, 19 Aug 2008 07:50:27 PDT GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I have been away from my two best friends for over a month now [thanks to Brazil] with little to no contacts, and I STILL can't see them?! OH GAWD. They were practically the only people I missed!!! I kept thinking while in Brazil, "God, they'd love to see this... Hee hee, Brat would go crazy over that little, yellow house; Angeal would looove to see this" Etcetra etcetra... And I hope by now you two know I'm talking about you guys. [And yes there were YELLOW houses, as well as YELLOW flowers, as well as YELLOW and BLUE stained glass windows, as well as many many other YELLOW things... >DDD]

I was so alone most of the time Dx And... I almost, several times, did a repeat of an incredibly STUPID thing that involved Mr.McCleod... Oh god... I kept thinking where I could do it to get away with it, where it wouldn't be seen... People kept asking about my Mom; my Dad said some... Things... And it just kept bringing back so many memories I just want to be rid of...

"Do you miss your mother?"

And since I am a horrible liar, "no."

"Oh why not?"

"Issues."

"Like what?"

"Things."

"Come on you can talk to me."

"Complicated."

"I'm your cousin/uncle/aunt/etc, I love you and blah blah try to convince and crap...

I keep trying to get them off my back... Once I even did lie and said I missed her, but I was seen through easily. I realize it's only concern and simple curiousity.

People asked questions about what Canada was like, like what my mom was like, and things just... Resurfaced. I had no one to talk with that I could just... Have fun with, joke with, distract me from unwanted thoughts, no one... Excpet this "wonderful angel" who forced me to draw Sasuke, Sasuke, Sasuke, Sasuke in his underwear, Sasuke, Sasuke, Sasuke, oh and did I mention Sasuke? IF I HAVE TO DRAW HIM ONE MORE TIME-!!! My brother started crying and this B*TCH taunted him, "oh, no cry, baby~ >D"

She did sooooo many things it made half the trip a HELL-HOLE. She is an insecure little girl who is OBSESSED with getting to my brothers and taunting them every time she got, and she has to have everything HER way, no matter what. She drove me to the brink of my sanity.

Things just started to build up, Yngrind [that... "angel"], the things my dad said, lonliness... And that's what led me to almost do those stupid actions again...

However I am not saying I DIDN'T have the time of my life, and an amazing experience, but there were times I just wanted to... "Be stupid," for a lack of a better term and since I don't want to say what the stupid thing was that I did before and want to do again. [Not any crap like drugs, or sleeping around, believe me!!! I have MUCH better morals than that!]

And the fact that when I got home, my grandfather told me to call my mom, and when I talked to her... She didn't miss me at all. She was HAPPY she was rid of me for a month. Things my dad unintentionally said, things my mom is doing... its all adding up again.

I thought I wouldn't have the "stupid urge" again... I mean, I had gotten through quite a few weeks without it resurfacing. Well, there were a couple times, but it was so small and easily ignored.

I'm trying to deal with it. Trying to distract myself... I have been focusing a lot on my nails lately, and trying to maintain a perfect, even coat of black nail polish... And I draw. I draw a LOT.

I'm trying to get to the point where I can cope with this on my own... I never wanted others to be involved, because I know I can get trhough this. People knowing just adds pressure... Because they may do something thinking they're helping, but end up making things 10 times worse because they don't know half of my situation... No one knows half of what goes through my head. And I prefer to keep it that way. People don't get it. I tried opening up, because that's what advices for other people in my similliar situation were given, and it worked, but so far... It's made things worse. There is one person I do trust though.

And no I am not trying to grovel in self-pitty OR get attention. I realize there are people out there with MUCH worse lives than I have. I have never been sexually abused [apart from being groped on my @$$ once but oh did that guy regret his actions...], I have not lost a limb, I am not termianlly/fatally ill apart from minor low-blood sugar, I am not starving, I have a roof over my head... I have many things to be grateful for.

Right now I'm ranting. Because I find it helps a bit. I find that it takes some of the pressure off.

Anyways... I am going to start getting to those fanfics I promised to post up today...

~Xirel http://Xirel.deviantart.com/journal/20013414/ http://Xirel.deviantart.com/journal/20013414/ Sun, 17 Aug 2008 22:35:50 PDT
15 hours on a plane... 3 hours waiting for the next one... And 3 hours on that plane...

--; Wants to DRIVE next time [although I have been told several times it would take months]

Whhhhhyyyyyyyy is Brasil so ffffaaaaaaarrrrrrrr *whines*

Anyways... Trip was awesome. More details when I am not having a head that wants to fall onto the keyboard. Good except this stupid little... I will refrain from speaking of her until I am not half asleep and can therefore control my colourful language.

Ehhhhhhhhhhhhhh *snore*

I smuggled seashells on the plane... It's illegle I know, shoot me, I'm a wanted criminal...

*Falls asleep*

]]> ~Xirel http://Xirel.deviantart.com/journal/19485382/ http://Xirel.deviantart.com/journal/19485382/ Sat, 19 Jul 2008 15:55:51 PDT MY FATHER IS THIRD PLACE WORLD CHAMPION IN BRAZILIAN JIU-JITSU MARTIAL ARTS!!!

And yes, I am bragging xP

I can´t believe it though... He would´ve gotten first too, but each time he got a choke or arm bar they would stop the fight, saying they were too close to the edge. That´s BS.

Har har har.

Can´t wait to get back to Canada and see Brat and Angeal and others.

And I´m mixing up my langugaes. I keep wanting to say something in Português, and when I open my mouth to say it, I have to stop myselfbefore I start to say Japanese instead o___O;;;

xDD Yesterday when we met my relatives, I had to use the washroom, and didn´t know the word for it... It took FOREVER for them to understand. I had to draw a picture. --;

I´m learning how to mime... xDDD And I learn more Português words each day.

But still. MY father is third place WORLD CHAMPION?!

That means if I want to be world champion I have to beat him... I have no hope... -.-

Çiâo e boa noite mes amigos~!

]]> ~Xirel http://Xirel.deviantart.com/journal/19447171/ http://Xirel.deviantart.com/journal/19447171/ Thu, 17 Jul 2008 13:45:37 PDT
Anyways, São Paulo... Gorgeous. There are so many variations of plants here it´s not even funny. Tall trees, short ones... Rubber trees right beside banana and orange trees... And did I mention how artistic this city seems? Deizari, you´d love it xD There are some really unique arts painted on the walls, as well as some really pretty graffitti. Of course, a lot of it is unnecessary, such as this one guy´s name grafittied on the wall every 2 meters... xD

Brazilian´s are crazy drivers. Dad honked the horn I don´t even want to know how many times... When all the cars are still, motorcycles zoom right through, with no regards to others. You can also see them weaving in between cars through other lanes to get ahead. xD Also, they don´t signal when lane changing oO

We met Laura and her two kids, and although I don´t understand anything they´re saying, they´re very nice and are trying to help me to communicate with them. Laura´s daughter and I have been playing together and communicating is very difficult, but we manage.

We´re meeting Uncle Flavio tomorrow, and Grandpa says to tell him he speaks very good English, even if he doesn´t. xD

I miss all you guys! No MSN on this computer so D.A. Notes instead, neh?



Byes!

]]> ~Xirel http://Xirel.deviantart.com/journal/19446785/ http://Xirel.deviantart.com/journal/19446785/ Thu, 17 Jul 2008 13:24:29 PDT
]]> ~Xirel http://Xirel.deviantart.com/journal/19303172/ http://Xirel.deviantart.com/journal/19303172/ Thu, 10 Jul 2008 02:04:01 PDT
Annnnnd~~ I'm definetely switching schools. My Dad is forcing me now... TT^TT By F.E.O.... DDDDx miss it already.

Gr. I switch schools every year... I stayed in this school for a total of 2 years, which broke the last record of a year and 4 months. Dx

*Dies*

Most of all I'm going to miss smacking a certain someone... And if that certain someone doesn't come over on weekends I am going to eat her. Who am I going to smack now???

At least I won't have to suffer through a year with that poor excuse of an art teacher, or so I've heard. She scares me x_X; I miss our old art teacher... She DIDN'T scare me.



]]> ~Xirel http://Xirel.deviantart.com/journal/18880704/ http://Xirel.deviantart.com/journal/18880704/ Mon, 16 Jun 2008 19:43:16 PDT Firstly, you try and get to the bottom of my page... It's impossible. That loong journal ish... Too long. But still... If you haven't signed the petition, do so now, or I shall eat you. Understood? Neh? Good ^o^

Anyways... I need some advice on an issue, but not from anyone I know in real life. xD If anyone's got a minute or two to spare, send me note neh?

Anywho~ I am currently in major Author-Pwnage-of-Orgasmic-BLOCKNESS *twitch* So the next chapters might be a while... ㄱㄱ;;

Lawl I love D.A.'s new journal layout xD It's pretty~

AND one other thing. PLEASE GIVE ME SOME FORM OF ART REQUEST!!! I am bored and in need to DRAW Dx I'm just about willing to draw anything... Although right now I wanna do something to do with Akatsukis 'cause they're awesome like that! 8DDDDD

Since we're on the Naruto subject... I dislike Naruto the character. Greatly. However I LOVE watching him get pwn'd by Sasuke/Orochimaru/Akatsuki >DDD Nyahaha. Somehow, I find Akatsukis better than main charrie's. 'Cept Gaara. x3 He's awesome.

And because I hate Kishi and I feel like being biased because he loooves dragging storylines and killing off all the awesome characters because he doesn't want anyone getting more popular than Sasuke, I have to say...

Final Fantasy ish teh best. [Which it is. xP Nothing beats it!]

So neh... I ish bored. I think I'm going to go poke Cloud with a chopstick 'till I get something to do...

Oh yeah, and I strongly believe in this statement. Found it on someone's profile, and I thought meh, journal's good enough.

"If you think Naruto should continuously run into a tree for our satisfaction, copy and paste this in your profile."

And these I just thought were funny... [And hey, don't be mad if you like a character that is mentioned in teh following statements. It's for laughs. My fave charrie is in one of these... Can you guess who it is? xD And NO Deizari, it's not who think it is I SWEAR!!! >>;;; ...<<;;; ...><;;; _{Ok I'm lying... It probably is...}]
If you believe Itachi has secret laughing fits when no one is watching, copy and paste this in your profile

If you believe that Kakashi's book is actually an instruction manual that teaches him how to rape teenage boys from Naruto, copy and paste this in your profile

If you think he actually does go out and rape teenage boys from Naruto, copy and paste this in your profile

If you think it's perfectly okay for Sasuke to argue with himself and lose, copy and paste this in your profile

If you think Orochimaru has ever mistaken a stick for a snake, copy and paste this in your profile

If you think Kabuto has a secret stash of crack under his bed, copy and paste this in your profile

If you believe Shikamaru got so bored he cried, copy and paste this in your profile

If you believe that Choji ate so much he blew up, copy and paste this in your profile

If you believe Shino is actually terrified of bugs, copy and paste this in your profile

~~~***~~~

Last thing I swear. I don't get Narutards. Really. o-O; Why can't we all be little Akatsuki-tards?! They're kick@$$ xD

OR Final Fantasy-tards, neh neh? xD Lawl...

]]> ~Xirel http://Xirel.deviantart.com/journal/17904472/ http://Xirel.deviantart.com/journal/17904472/ Thu, 17 Apr 2008 22:37:51 PDT
Oh god I started crying... And I didn't even read all of it! Imagine having to pay MONEY for PHOTOS of your FAMILY so people don't use it in MAGAZINES without your PERMISSION?! Doodles, sketches, photos, art, literature, even comics, BOOKS!!! All of it will need thousands of dollars just to be called yours?!

WTF! Even the dude that made SPIDERMAN is worried!!!

Read this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PLEASE do NOT let this bill pass!!!

Online Petition
[link]

Radio broadcast explaning the bill in detail
[link]

-Quote-Mind Your Business
You Will Lose All The Rights to Your Own Art
Mark Simon

As you know, I usually handle the subjects in my articles with a sense of humor. That is not the case this month. I find nothing funny about the new Orphan Works legislation that is before Congress.

In fact, it PISSES ME OFF!

As an artist, you have to read this article or you could lose everything you’ve ever created

An Orphaned Work is any creative work of art where the artist or copyright owner has released their copyright,
whether on purpose, by passage of time or by lack of proper registration. Like when parents give up their child to be
an orphan, you can give up ownership in your creative work to be an orphan for others to use without your
permission.
If you don’t like to read long articles, you will miss incredibly important information that will affect the rest of your
career as an artist. You should at least skip to the end to find the link for a fantastic interview with Brad Holland of
the Illustrators Partnership about how you are about to lose ownership of your own artwork.
Currently, you don’t have to register your artwork to own the copyright. You own a copyright as soon as you create
something. International law also supports this. Right now, registration allows you to sue for damages, in addition to
fair value.
What makes me so MAD about this new legislation is that it legalized THEFT! The only people who benefit from this
are those who want to make use of our creative works without paying for them, or from large companies who will run
the new private copyright registries.
These registries are companies that you would be forced to pay to register every single image, photo, sketch or
creative work.
It is currently against international law to coerce people to register their work for copyright because there are so many
inherent problems with it. But because big business, like Bill Gates, can push through laws in the United States, our
country is about to break with the rest of the world, again, and take your rights away.
With the tens of millions of photos and pieces of artwork created each year, the bounty for forcing everyone to pay a
registration fee would be enormous. We lose our rights and our creations, and someone else makes money at our
expense.
This includes every sketch, painting, photo, sculpture, drawing, video, song and every other type of creative endeavor.
All of it is at risk!
If the Orphan Works legislation passes, you and I and all creatives will lose virtually all the rights to not only our
future work but to everything we’ve created over the past 34 years unless we register it with the new, untested and
privately run (by the friends and cronies of the U.S. government) registries. Even then, there is no guarantee that
someone wishing to steal your personal creations won’t successfully call your work an orphan work, and then legally
use it for free.
In short, if Congress passes this law, YOU WILL LOSE THE RIGHT TO MAKE MONEY FROM YOUR OWN
CREATIONS!
Why is this allowed to happen? APATHY and MONEY.
Artists have apathy and corporations have money.
We need to be heard in order to protect our incomes, our creations and our careers. GET OFF YOUR ASS!
That means writing letters to our congressmen and representatives. That means voicing your opinion about how we
need copyright protection, as we’ve had since 1976, that protects everything we create from the moment we create it.
Currently, your work is copyrighted as soon... ]]> ~Xirel http://Xirel.deviantart.com/journal/17771350/ http://Xirel.deviantart.com/journal/17771350/ Wed, 09 Apr 2008 20:59:00 PDT
Art Trades:
Sasori cosplaying as Genesis for ~Deizari
*Status: Not yet started... ㄱㄱ;;;
~~~*~~~
Art Requests:
Tobi cosplaying as Sephiroth for ~CrayonsWithAids
*Status: Simple sketching complete. Details started to be added in

Shirtless Cloud for *papercutperfect
*Status: Oh I AM thinking about it xD Just need to draw it

Next chapter of Forgiveness for ~kisa-fan-chan
*Status: Not yet started *Hides from Em's wrath*

Reflected Red for *Insert list of names here... Too lazy to type 'em all... ㄱㄱ;*
*Status: Got a pretty good idea in my head, just need to get it down. Probably do that now

Carry On for *Another list . . .*
*Status: Partially started
~~~*~~~
If I forgot anything let me know. Neh, I'm still open to more art requests/trades BUT it might be a while, seeing as I have to finish all of these ones as well xDDD Hopefully they'll be done by this week.

There will be one more added to the list, once we decide wether it should be a contest or an art trade.

Anyways... I also have stupid homeworks to do, which I am putting off. Meh, screw it.

AND to those of you that know me IRL, I ish happy to say I am getting my blood test results on Friday. And it varies from day to day... Sometimes I really want to pass out, others I feel fine so... I 'unno. Varies. Both my parents believe it's low blood sugar and the chances of it being cancer are unlikely. So don't worry! I'll be ok. *Looks pointedly at a certain person* Meh, life is cruel. So much so.

Anyways... Last thing for tonight: I'm starting a new story, the plot of which I am still unsure, but where I want to end up and the main idea are there. May or may nor post it on D.A., I will if you guys ask, but this one isn't a fanfiction. Pure OC.

Cião, é boa noite!

]]> ~Xirel http://Xirel.deviantart.com/journal/17352505/ http://Xirel.deviantart.com/journal/17352505/ Sat, 15 Mar 2008 19:07:45 PDT <sup>I have a few things to say. Each different subject starts with bold, just to make things easier to see.

First things first: THANK YOU TO ALL MY WATCHERS!!! I was gone for what... A week...? A little more than that...? When I logged on, I saw I had 56 messages. I thought they'd all be Journals from the people I watch. Man was I wrong... 20 of those are Miscellaneous. 17 of those being , 2 of those being and the other being a Collection thingy (which I still have no idea what that means... ㄱㄱ; ) And I also had 14 Comments... For one week... That is waaayyyy more than I EVER got on my old account in just a week.

I am shocked. I wanna jump up and down (xD). I wanna thank each and every one of you who has ever bothered to take the time to read and comment on my stuff!! ^o^ I feel loved!!

SO! I wanna give you all a request if you want it. Fic, drawing, WHATEVER! (And I wanna hug you all! Ok maybe that's not a hug... It's a glomp but... ㄱㄱ; ) All I'm trying to say really... Is I am VERY grateful.

THANK YOU!!

Secondly: I want to give some attention to a couple of poeple here on D.A.

*My brother ~AxionnotsFire. Dad told me to get him an account, so I did! He's only 10 years old, so go a bit easy on him please... I'm going to help him type up some of his stories here on D.A. for him, but for now he's too lazy to come over here. -_-; He has a verrry short attention span. The reason Dad wanted to get him an account: Everytime he and I try to help him with his stories, he doesn't believe us. *Sigh.* I am not trusted... Hopefully some of you guys could give him a bit of feedback...?(When he gets around to posting something) And perhaps welcome him to D.A....?

*~Deizari She ish one of my friends in real life!! SHE HAS AMAZING ART!!! ^o^ She drew Genesis in an Akatsuki cloak for me as part of an art trade! (The trade consists of 4 pieces of art: She's going to draw me Cloud in Akatsuki cloak as well, and I'm drawing Deidara in Cloud's clothes, and Sasori in Genesis's clothes! ^o^ I already finished the Deidara picture... Just have to post it.) Haha check out her stuff!! o.O It's really good.

*~kisa-fan-chan Also an irl friend! She writes tons of Bleach fanfics all with excellant plotlines! If you like Bleach, give her page a visit!

*~Aiya-Yume I worship her ability to draw and colour... Also an irl friend xDDD

*~MusicLevitation She writes amazing song lyrics FILLED with emotions!!

And strangely... these are all people I know irl.. oO I really wish I could put all of you on here 'cause you're all very talented in my opinion. But... To be honest... I'm lazy. xD Sorry...

Thirdly: I may or may not be able to log on as often as I currently did, seeing as I am having major internet issues, and I'm failing at LEAST three subjects in school. But don't get me wrong, that's only because all my homework is usually late, thus getting 50% off. --; I have to start actually DOING my homework to get my grades back up to where they were in the 80%-90% last year and in elementary... And hopefully higher. I'm doing better I swear! xDDD I even made a bet with one of my friends, that the first to forget their homework owes the other a dollar! I REFUSE TO LOSE TO HIM!!! (Xirel has a huge ego... ㄱㄱ; )

So I probably won't be on at all for a while once my dad sees my report card... But trust me!! I will bring them back way up, thus allowing me more time to work on all the stories I have on here!

Fourthly: This one is for ~kisa-fan-chan. I told my dad about what Mom did and is still doing to me. She's getting worse but... Once I told my dad, I felt a whole lot better. He made me cry... Because he said nothing was my fault. That he loved me... He won't take her to court. I'll be able to stay with him. I even told him how I felt tha... ]]></sup> ~Xirel http://Xirel.deviantart.com/journal/16931160/ http://Xirel.deviantart.com/journal/16931160/ Sun, 04 May 2008 01:38:52 PDT #CrisisCore

First ever Crisis Core chatroom on DeviantArt!

~_~*~_~UPDATES~_~*~_~

~*~Privclasses - Ranks and Stats, scroll down~*~
~*~Bosses - One new Boss~*~
~*~Taken Characters~*~
~*~Suspensions, Bans, Etc - Info~*~
~*~Spelling typos xD~*~

Rules

Underlined rules are rules that will get you suspended from the chat the first time you break them

No Fighting/name-calling/put-downs/threats

NO SPAMMING! Definition: When you completely flood the chats and don't allow others to post because you are posting so frequently

Please no complaining about the rules. If you have a question, or a suggestion, post it in a comment on this journal. Complaints/whinings give me major headaches. [Say the rule is no Rping, which is a preposterous rule in my opinion. An example of a question/suggestion: "Why aren't we allowed Rping? Maybe, would you mind making us a seperate chat for rping, or can I make a branchroom for rping? Etc etc." An example of a complaint: "No rping? F*** YOU! Why the h*ll can't we rp?! This sucks!!!"] Don't like the rules, no one's forcing you to join the chatroom thank you very much.

Please no God-moding when doing a Rp fight

Try to use brackets * )}] Pick one~ * when someone else is roleplaying. The purpose of this is simply to keep the Rp and OOC chat seperate, to cut down on confusion.

Be nice and try to welcome others to the chat and try to say bye when they're leaving.

Keep swearing to a minumum. This means if every two words you say is a swear, you will be kicked. [Example: "Holy @#$% that is so mother @#$%ing awesome! That some @#$%ing @#$%! Dude, @#$%ing cool!"]

Bosses

So far...
~Xirel
~Funex
~Deizari

http://Xirel.deviantart.com/journal/16791997/ Fri, 08 Feb 2008 21:09:24 PST Am I? Certainly seems like it.

I am now without a room. Permanently. Why? A simple reason.

I feel unwelcomed in my own house... Or at least... What I used to be able to call my own house. My mother's house... Actually. The first thing she does when she gets home is yell at me. For things I never even did. Then she asks me to put my stuff away, which consists of: Binder, back-pack, labtop. Oh yes, and a pencil case.

Whoops did I say ask? I meant demanding, at the top of her lungs almost, while insulting me. I put them on the computer desk and she still isn't satisfied. I tell her in a quiet, emotion-free voice (emotion-free to hide the fact that I wanted to cry) that my grandparents were staying in my room at present. I told her I would put them in my room after they have left.

Then she says Eloisa, my sibling's babysitter, is now going to have my room.

In other words, it's not my room anymore.

Then she starts going on about how she needs to find a second job just to survive and she starts blaming me for her financial problems.

She says because I decided to live with my dad, now she has to pay him child support.

It's the other way around. He's paying her for my two brothers.

She continues to blame me for everything.

Guess where my room is?

Sitting in non-existance.

That's right. I have no room.

I have no where to put my things. I only have a small bed with a single blanket down in the basement to call my own.

She's punishing me for living with my dad. She's punishing me for everything that has ever gone wrong in her life.

She punishes me for the things that went wrong with her and my dad's marriage.

She's punishing me for continuing to come to her house every second weekend, even when she's the one asking me to come here.

She's punishing me for being born.

I'm being punished for living...

And wow do I ever want to cry...

But I can't. This basement... I'm not even alone down here. The kids always come here to play.

The only place I can be alone is the washroom, or outside.

I can't cry... She will make it feel even worse.

I made the mistake of crying... She made me want to slit my wrists.

I didn't.

And I know I shouldn't even be thinking about that.

But sometimes... I do.

I don't think I'll ever have the guts to do it though. I'm afraid of veins and the thought of them being cut. But there were two distinct times I rememer that I held a knife to my wrist, wondering how much it would hurt...

I will never cut myself. Never.

Because if I do... It means she has already won. She wants to punish me for so many things... And if I cut myself, that will only give her satisfaction.

I want to cry so badly... It hurts so much... The things she said... I want to get away from here... Never come back... But that's not my choice to make.

If I refuse to come here, she will take my dad to court... I know she'll win. And possibly... I'll never see my dad again... I know that's what will happen. It's happened before.

One advantage of long hair: With your head down, those around you won't be able to see the stray tears that manage to leak out of your eyes... But thank god I have practice with hiding my emotions. I do it every day... Every day of my life...

I think the only reason for writing these journals is to somehoe relieve my mind... Free up stored emotions... Especially since I have no other way of doing so.

]]> ~Xirel http://Xirel.deviantart.com/journal/16715793/ http://Xirel.deviantart.com/journal/16715793/ Sun, 03 Feb 2008 22:34:38 PST Fear does so many things to the mind. To fear losing someone you hold close... The fear expressed towards someone who has that very power... The very power that can take that certain someone away...

To become afraid of everything and everyone. Always fearing the day when your darkest secrets are revealed. Secrets that would tear apart your entire life, and make that certain someone drift even further away.

To jump and cower every time you hear the slightest creak in the house... To wonder with each passing second if your mind will be lost.

Eventually it comes to a point where you are so afraid of losing that person... That person that had so much significance in your life, the one person to ever obtain the ability to pull you out of your suffering... Eventually it comes to a point where you begin taking on certain aspects of their personality. So terrified of losing them that you feel you must become them to keep their memory alive...

Because maybe... Just maybe... When you finally do lose that person... Maybe... The hurt won't be as much...

To fear losing their memory however, is the worst one of all. The fear of the power of forgetfulness. That person can die, that person can rot away in the ground... But as long as you have that memory, they still exist, right? As long as you remember them... They cannot leave entirely.

But the memory is a very frail thing. Forgetfulness comes so easily... It starts with the face. Maybe not even a few moments later you can't quite remember all of the details. Soon, the feel of their skin agaisnt yours vanishes entirely. Lastly, the voice... The voice is the last thing to go. As their face becomes blurrier and blurrier in your mind, as you lose sight of them more and more with each passing day...

That's when the true fears set in. The fear that you have truly lost them. The fear that nothing... Not even your memories... Can bring that person back...

]]> ~Xirel http://Xirel.deviantart.com/journal/16405878/ http://Xirel.deviantart.com/journal/16405878/ Mon, 14 Jan 2008 16:27:30 PST <sup>Oh. My. God.

This is not real.

Hell no.

Gackt Camui. Recently, (around a week ago I foud out about his existance actually) my favourite singer. I was shocked to find out that he was the model for both Genesis and Squall Leonhart in the Final Fantasy series, as well as other characters from other games. He also has several songs that he composed and sang in Dirge of Cerberus, another Final Fantasy game.

However, this isn't completely what has me shocked.

This guy... Gackt Camui... Is exactly like me in almost every single way. Personality-wise. No, I am not a guy, or Japanese, for example.

Let me explain myself. I'll start with typing up two lists. The first, being our differences, the second, our similliarities. But these are mostly trivial things, compared with the simmiliarities I saw that I really can't explain. It's like... My, "essence," and his, "essence," (or spiritual origins... If that makes any sense whatsoever...) are of the same kind... And I must really sound like some strange, hopeful fangirl in saying that. But, honestly, I can't find any other way to describe it. Right now I'm only attempting at explaining myself... It's difficult to do so, but I'm trying to the best of my abilities.

While reading Gackt Camui's autobiography, I believe I saw a little of his true self. And what I did see, is like how I view myself. The way I think, the conclusions I've come to during my life, is all right there in front of me in Gackt Camui's own words. Sometimes I really do wonder about, "doubles," in this life. If there really is a true sense of individuality. Of course, we aren't completely alike, and of that I'm certain. But our way of thinking is surprisingly similliar.

At least, that's how I interpretted his words. There is the possibility that what he was attempting to portray is completely different than what I think he is trying to portray. My interpretations of his words are probably based on my own way of thinking and of my own experiences. He may have completely different motifs than I do, but from what I have read, our motifs, and, "true," personas, if you will, are quite alike. I guess that's why I want to meet face to face, to see if my hypothesis of who I think he is is who he really is, is correct... If that makes any sense to you.

Differences.
1 He smokes.
2 Different Nationality/Age/Gender.
3 He hates sweets.
4 He thinks his tongue is the sexiest part of his body.
5 He's had 15 near-death experiences, as opposed to my 2.
6 He hates hot weather and prefers the cold.
7 He hates rice.
8 He ski's whereas I snowboard, and he knows more Martial Arts than I do.
9 He's shown his music to the world, whereas mine I haven't shown a soul. 'Cept maybe the housefly...
10 He prefers to walk around his own home completely naked.
11 He loves France, but I love Japan. {Odd thing: He's Japanese, and I am part French.}
12 He is left-handed, but prefers using his right. {Freaky thing: In a family of 3, he is the middle child. My younger brother, also the middle child, is laft-handed although he prefers using his right...}
13 My parents are divorced and I have "half-siblings."
14 He had a nosejob.
15 He kisses people on the lips, regardless of gender, to show that he trusts them. He kisses women when they cry, and to him it's like the same thing of a hug or a handshake.
16 He loves wine.

Simmilarities
1 We love music. We like to sing we play multiple instruments. {Me: 3, Him: 6}
2 We insist on doing everything on our own.
3 We're in a family of 3 kids, a sister and a brother, the sister being oldest. {In this case, I'm the sister}
4 We're obsessed with languages and culture of other countries.
5 We were both born in the summertime.
6 We are both afraid of cochroaches.
7 We both love the colour black.
8 We both love our food hot.
9 We have both dyed our hair more than once.
10 He has coloured contacts {a HUGE collection} and I want some, and have for a while...
11 We both love Final Fantasy.
12 We both love cosplaying.
13 We both love acting.
14 We both love manga.
15 We both have sarcastic senses of humour as well as random stupidity, and we wish we could make people laugh more often than we already do.
16 Neither of us is entirely modest...
17 We are both ambitious and always want to be the #1 in everything.
18 We HATE losing and will do almost anything to show we're better.
19 We are both sports-lovers, and we both train Jiu-Jitsu.
20 We both speak 4 fluent languages.
21 We have more than one pet.
22 We both have, "invented," personas.
23 We both have a sixth sense. Different, but still a sixth. {Me: Visions, Him:... ]]></sup> ~Xirel