http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:Yumiko-Amaya&section=today deviantART RSS for by:Yumiko-Amaya en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Wed, 09 Dec 2009 20:41:38 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://Yumiko-Amaya.deviantart.com/journal/28773997/ http://Yumiko-Amaya.deviantart.com/journal/28773997/ Sat, 05 Dec 2009 19:41:47 PST

So, I ate something that didn't agree with my stomach. I feel nauseated and am having diarrhea. Its great fun!

I've been watching a lot of Disney movies lately. Why? I've been a little depressed. Disney movies normally cheer me up but so far, they've only made me feel worse.
For those of you who think therapy will do me some good, I will show you my middle finger. I've said it a million times and apparently, I haven't been very clear. It doesn't work. I've been going since I was ten years old and if I'm not "better" now, I never will be. I've accepted that fact. Don't bother mentioning pills either. I could eat a whole bottle of anti-depressants and all it will do is make me feel a little woozy.
Also, if I tell you the words, "I'm fine," it means "I will be fine." Or, depending on who you are, it could mean, "I'm not fine, and I'm asking you for comfort." You'll know which meaning belongs to you.
Have you ever felt like just disappearing? Like running away and never coming back? And never speaking a word to anyone ever again? That's how I feel right now. I'm so sick of being hurt. The only thing left in this world are my friends. Most of them are in college and I can't talk or see them whenever I really, really need to. Honestly, I've never felt more alone.
I'm not trying to be a bitch, or single any one out. I'm just trying to get some things off my chest before I explode. Or worse, actually disappear. Most of you know that I'm a runner. I tend to run from all my problems. I'm too fucking scared to face them. I'm scared of everything. I won't even say what I'm scared the most of right now because some of you know what it is. One of you knows if it'll happen or not.



....................


I guess, I feel a tiny bit better.

I know I've got more to say but... I just can't bring myself to type anymore.

]]> ~Yumiko-Amaya http://Yumiko-Amaya.deviantart.com/journal/28431618/ http://Yumiko-Amaya.deviantart.com/journal/28431618/ Wed, 18 Nov 2009 12:19:52 PST
]]> ~Yumiko-Amaya http://Yumiko-Amaya.deviantart.com/journal/28222776/ http://Yumiko-Amaya.deviantart.com/journal/28222776/ Sun, 08 Nov 2009 16:51:00 PST Turns out, I have a kidney infection.
I'm in so much pain its not funny.
I'm exhausted from dealing with the pain, too.
I do have pain killers, but I wish they would work faster.

In other news, I'm doing NaNoWriMo.
I did 18 pages and 10,000 and some hundred words in three days. I hope I can write okay while drugged up on vicodin. We'll see.

So John and I got Borderlands. He's got me hooked. I really want to play it and I'm checking all my shit as fast as I possibly can so he and I can play it together. I love to play good co-op games with him so if you know of any good ones, let us know.

]]> ~Yumiko-Amaya http://Yumiko-Amaya.deviantart.com/journal/27784844/ http://Yumiko-Amaya.deviantart.com/journal/27784844/ Thu, 15 Oct 2009 17:20:23 PDT Take the night and darken everything around me
Call the clouds and listen closely, I'm lost without you

Call your name everyday, when I feel so helpless
I'm fallen down but I'll rise above this, rise above this

Hate your mind, regrets are better left unspoken
For all we know this void will grow
And everything's in vain, distressing you, don't leave me open
Feels so right that I'll end this all before it gets me

Call your name everyday, when I feel so helpless
I'm fallen down, but I'll rise above this, rise above this

Call your name everyday when I seem so helpless
I'm fallen down but I'll rise above this rise, rise above this now

I'll mend myself before it gets me
I'll mend myself before it gets me
I'll mend myself before it gets me
I'll mend myself before it gets me

Call your name everyday when I feel so helpless
I'm fallen down but I'll rise above this, rise above this
Forty eight ways to say that I'm feeling helpless
Fallen down and I'll rise above this, rise above this
Rise above this, rise above this now

So I just woke up like an hour ago. For some reason, I just feel very empty. I don't know how to explain it other than that. I mean, I know I'm depressed and everything but this is a different kind of feeling. Its similar but its not the same. I don't understand why I feel this way. Its just ... weird I guess.

Well I hope it goes away. I hate this feeling...

]]> ~Yumiko-Amaya http://Yumiko-Amaya.deviantart.com/journal/27678005/ http://Yumiko-Amaya.deviantart.com/journal/27678005/ Fri, 09 Oct 2009 22:43:43 PDT It is very important that I can as much rest I can.
Plus, I need a lot of peace and quiet.
Thanks to all who has given me love and support!
It means so much to me, you have no idea!
If you don't know what I'm talking about, please don't ask.
I didn't tell you for one of two reasons.
One is that I didn't think you needed to know.
The other is that I probably didn't want you to worry.
Pick the reason that helps you sleep at night.



Kayla

]]> ~Yumiko-Amaya http://Yumiko-Amaya.deviantart.com/journal/27603681/ http://Yumiko-Amaya.deviantart.com/journal/27603681/ Mon, 05 Oct 2009 18:37:45 PDT

There's a bunch of problems going on right now. I wish I could just ignore them but I'm a big worrier. If only I could go back in time and fix a few things or tell a few people some things. That would make life SO much easier. But then again, life is NEVER easy, is it?


So Saturday, I'm having "surgery." Don't ask what kind. You'll know if I told you. Anyway, I'm really nervous about it. John says it'll be okay. I hope he's right.


As you can tell, I'm getting back into poetry and writing and photoshopping shit. I'm really excited about it. I also have a Halloween project. I'm going to find a picture of clown paint and make a stencil out of it. Hopefully, it'll turn out the way I want it to.


If you find a picture that you think I'd like to photoshop, send me the link!

]]> ~Yumiko-Amaya http://Yumiko-Amaya.deviantart.com/journal/27341464/ http://Yumiko-Amaya.deviantart.com/journal/27341464/ Mon, 21 Sep 2009 15:37:53 PDT I've locked a lot of my issues and problems away in my mind lately. I want to put it on paper, like I used to. I can't think of anything to write or draw. I miss writing my poetry. It means a lot to me. You have no idea. I can't think of a way to start anything. So I've got writers block and artist's block. It absolutely sucks.
I have a UTI. It really hurts.
I really feel bad. I was going to visit Katie last weekend, but I ended up getting strep throat. I was going to visit her this weekend, but I have a UTI. I wish I didn't get sick so damn much. It really ruins a lot of things. I will come up there eventually Katie! I promise! I miss you so much!
So John hit me in his sleep today. It hurt. I figured he wouldn't remember doing it so I went downstairs to cool down because I almost punched him in the fucking face.
Oh, and I haven't had much to eat. I am hungry, and I want to eat. Every time I try, I get nauseous and can't eat anything. What the hell is up with that?? I really want to go to that one Chinese buffet in Winston. I can't remember what it's called but I went with Katie and her dad one day and he wouldn't let me pay, which was nice of him to do. I still wanted to pay though. . . But that was a nice place. I liked the food and everything. I really want to go back. John won't take me, because he hates Chinese food. I don't have the money to go, so I can't take myself. My grandparents..... wait... my grandparents! Maybe I can ask them if they'd like to go with me. I'd stay on their good side. Oh wait, one of them doesn't like Chinese food I think. I know my granddad hates Japanese. My grandmother and I used to go to Kimono together all the time. I miss that... I'll call them when I'm feeling better and ask.
I've been watching a lot of Disney movies lately. I always do when I'm sick. What are some of your favorite Disney movies? I might download it if I haven't already seen it in the past few weeks.
Anyway, I haven't really talked to anybody recently. How are you guys? You haven't died on me have you?

]]> ~Yumiko-Amaya http://Yumiko-Amaya.deviantart.com/journal/27253081/ http://Yumiko-Amaya.deviantart.com/journal/27253081/ Wed, 16 Sep 2009 20:31:14 PDT A- is weird at times
Y- One of the sexiest people alive
L- People think you're sexy
A- is weird at times
Apparently I'm very sexy and pretty weird. But its okay because my ass is nice.

__________________________

A- is weird at times
B- Fun when it comes to meeting new people
C- Truly believes in love
D- Have a big heart
E- a wonderful kisser
F- People totally adore
G- Deeply believe in love
H- Very good personality and looks
I- Popular with all types of people
J- Likes to try new things
K- Have a nice butt
L- People think you're sexy
M- Never let people tell you what to do
N- BEST IN BED
O- Likes to have a good time
P- Have a big warm heart
Q- Good in bed
R- Someone everyone loves
S- Have problems trusting people
T -One of the best in bed
U- Really laid back
V- Not judgmental
W- Very broad minded
X- Success comes easily
Y- One of the sexiest people alive
Z- Hated by many, confronted by few




----------------------------------------------------

Turn ons/offs

Write after each of these whether its a turn on or turn off for you in a girl/guy

Blonde hair: depends

Brown hair: on

Red hair: depends

Blue eyes: on

Green eyes: on

Brown eyes: off

Athletic: meh

Skinny: on

Few extra pounds: depends

Glasses: doesnt matter

Hat: depends

Good student: meh

Good at sports: meh

Dorky: on

Listens to rock: on

Listens to country: off

Listens to emo: off

Tough: on

Sensitive: on

Preppy: off

Skater: on

Well-dressed: depends

Slacker: meh

Good with computers: on

Plays guitar: playing any instrument is a major turn on

Dances well: meh

Lifts weights: meh

Has a job: meh

Writes poetry: on

Makes stupid jokes: on

]]> ~Yumiko-Amaya http://Yumiko-Amaya.deviantart.com/journal/27119608/ http://Yumiko-Amaya.deviantart.com/journal/27119608/ Wed, 09 Sep 2009 17:43:07 PDT I'm going to start doing some more photoshop. I need some good sites though so if you know any please leave the link in a comment or something.

]]> ~Yumiko-Amaya http://Yumiko-Amaya.deviantart.com/journal/26907601/ http://Yumiko-Amaya.deviantart.com/journal/26907601/ Sun, 30 Aug 2009 02:34:21 PDT I'm so tired of being here, suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave, I wish that you would just leave
Your presence still lingers here and it won't leave me alone

These wounds won't seem to heal, this pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me

You used to captivate me by your resonating light
Now, I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away all the sanity in me

These wounds won't seem to heal, this pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me, I've been alone all along

When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me, me, me


this song just came on and i cant resist evanescence. i almost sang out loud with everyone asleep and everything.
well i am beginning to get a cold. it sucks. like for real
i might be getting a job! so thats good....
nothing much is going on...
job searching... getting my g.e.d. then going to college for .... something... idk...
*sigh*
nothing going on at all....


i'm gonna start a vlog. i don't know what i should have my first one on though. katie was my inspiration with her awesome vlogging! so i'm guaranteed to give a shout out to her in the first one! but uh, leave me comments or notes on ideas for some of my vlogs. i kinda want to go with topics so i don't sit there and stare at the webcam like. ummm.... idk what to say... because i'll do that..
anywho. later guys.




btw... there needs to be a "sick" mood thingy...

]]> ~Yumiko-Amaya http://Yumiko-Amaya.deviantart.com/journal/26683273/ http://Yumiko-Amaya.deviantart.com/journal/26683273/ Wed, 19 Aug 2009 00:16:10 PDT I am picking it up Sunday from my grandparents house. I have no idea what time but hopefully in the morning. With my luck, however, it'll probably be late at night. If it is morning, lunch, or mid-afternoon, I will be the happiest girl on earth. Hey, Katie! I want to pick you up after I pick up my car! CALL ME!!!
I have been burning CD's for it since ten o' clock! I only need 14 more CD's until my case is full. I ran out of black CD's though.

I can't wait!!!

]]> ~Yumiko-Amaya http://Yumiko-Amaya.deviantart.com/journal/26614419/ http://Yumiko-Amaya.deviantart.com/journal/26614419/ Sun, 16 Aug 2009 03:09:33 PDT I really hope I get the job.
I also get a discount!


Edit: For all of you who don't know what Priscilla's is, it is a lingerie and sex toy shop.
You must be 18 to enter the store but for all of you who are interested here's a link to the site: [link]

]]> ~Yumiko-Amaya http://Yumiko-Amaya.deviantart.com/journal/26588809/ http://Yumiko-Amaya.deviantart.com/journal/26588809/ Fri, 14 Aug 2009 11:59:31 PDT He hasn't slept yet (which he really needs to but he's drumming right now) and I can barely keep my eyes open.
He or I will post a journal if we decide something.

]]> ~Yumiko-Amaya http://Yumiko-Amaya.deviantart.com/journal/26570124/ http://Yumiko-Amaya.deviantart.com/journal/26570124/ Thu, 13 Aug 2009 13:42:09 PDT Look. I love you and all. but jesus christ. I'm 18 fucking years old now, a legal adult. I don't need my grandparents trailing after me wherever I go. I have finally been able to go to the doctors office by myself and everything. .....
God I'm just so fucking irritated.....


All I want them to do, is give me the car and $7.50 like they said they would and let me go. They are so scared that I won't go to take the test. Oh really? Well if I want to go to college, I need a G.E.D. If I want a job, I need a G.E.D. If I want that orphan scholarship, I need a G.E.D. Basically, if I want to succeed in life, I NEED A G.E.D.!!!

GAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

]]> ~Yumiko-Amaya http://Yumiko-Amaya.deviantart.com/journal/26505162/ http://Yumiko-Amaya.deviantart.com/journal/26505162/ Mon, 10 Aug 2009 12:39:48 PDT
Oh, and if any of you have some pretty good pain killers, give me some. I'm in pain.
This headache has lasted all day yesterday and now all day today.

]]> ~Yumiko-Amaya http://Yumiko-Amaya.deviantart.com/journal/26410711/ http://Yumiko-Amaya.deviantart.com/journal/26410711/ Wed, 05 Aug 2009 20:13:43 PDT I would go and post the long ass list of stuff I already have but I don't feel like it. That'd take too much time. So just post some bands you'd think I'd like.
Thanks guys!

]]> ~Yumiko-Amaya http://Yumiko-Amaya.deviantart.com/journal/26379296/ http://Yumiko-Amaya.deviantart.com/journal/26379296/ Tue, 04 Aug 2009 11:43:03 PDT Breathe No More
I've been looking in the mirror for so long
That I've come to believe my soul's on the other side.
All the little pieces falling, shatter
Shards of me too sharp to put back together;
Too small to matter,
But big enough to cut me into so many little pieces
If I try to touch her

And I bleed,
I bleed
And I breathe,
I breathe no more.

Take a breath and I try to draw from my spirit's well.
Yet again you refuse to drink like a stubborn child.
Lie to me, convince me that I've been sick forever
And all of this will make sense when I get better.
But I know the difference
Between myself and my reflection.
I just cant help but to wonder
Which of us do you love?

So I bleed,
I bleed
And I breathe,
I breathe no-
Bleed,
I bleed,
And I breathe,
I breathe
I breathe,
I breathe...no...more.


Missing
Whispered:
Can you stop the fire?
Can you stand to fight her?
You cant stop the fire,
you wont say the words.

Please, please forgive me,
But I won't be home again.
Maybe someday you'll look up,
And, barely conscious, you'll say to no one:
"Isn't something missing?"

You won't cry for my absence, I know -
You forgot me long ago.
Am I that unimportant...?
Am I so insignificant...?
Isn't something missing?
Isn't someone missing me?

Even though I'm the sacrifice,
You won't try for me, not now.
Though I'd die to know you love me,
I'm all alone.
Isn't someone missing me?

Whispered:
Can you stop the fire?
Can you stand to fight her?
You cant stop the fire,
you wont say the words.

Please, please forgive me,
But I won't be home again.
I know what you do to yourself,
I breathe deep and cry out;
"Isn't something missing?
Isn't someone missing me?"

Even though I'm the sacrifice,
You won't try for me, not now.
Though I'd die to know you love me,
I'm all alone.
Isn't someone missing me?

And if I bleed, I'll bleed,
Knowing you don't care.
And if I sleep just to dream of you
I'll wake without you there,
Isn't something missing?
Isn't something.......

Even though I'm the sacrifice,
You won't try for me, not now.
Though I'd die to know you love me,
I'm all alone.
Isn't something missing?
Isn't someone missing me?

Whispered:
Can you stop the fire?
Can you stand to fight her?
You cant stop the fire,
you wont say the words.




Forever Gone, Forever You
I wanted you to be with me
For so long I don't even know why now
But now that I've given up on you
Defiantly you see me

Walking away I see the pain
You put me through
Lost in your game to change the same
Forever gone, forever you

There's something very wrong about this
I think you knew all along somehow
You'll only take me to change my mind
And leave me broken and defeated

So far away I see the truth
I see through you
Now that I know the way you play
I don't want to

Walking away I see the pain
You put me through
Lost in your game to change the same
Forever gone, forever you


Anywhere
Dear my love, haven't you wanted to be with me
And dear my love, haven't you longed to be free
I can't keep pretending that I don't even know you
And at sweet night, you are my own
Take my hand

We're leaving here tonight
There's no need to tell anyone
They'd only hold us down
So by the morning light
We'll be halfway to anywhere
Where love is more than just your name

I have dreamt of a place for you and I
No one know who we are there
All I want is to give my life only to you
I've dreamt so long I cannot dream anymore
Let's run away, I'll take you there

Forget this life
Come with me
Don't look back you're safe now
Unlock your heart
Drop your guard
No one's left to stop you

Forget this life
Come with me
Don't look back you're safe now
Unlock your heart
Drop your guard
No one's left to stop you now



So many songs, So little time. I want to learn every single song Amy Lee has put out. She is the inspiration for my voice and I love her style. I just downloaded like a SHIT TON of her music. I'm going to busy for days you guys.

But anyway, I posted these songs because I want you guys to look them up and listen to them real quick (youtube has them) so you have an idea on what I'm working on.

]]> ~Yumiko-Amaya http://Yumiko-Amaya.deviantart.com/journal/26314705/ http://Yumiko-Amaya.deviantart.com/journal/26314705/ Sat, 01 Aug 2009 09:22:37 PDT


So... John and I are cleaning the room. I picked up my art set my foster mom got me in 9th grade that was custom made. It had my name carved into it with a beautiful design of a paint pallet on it. I found that it was stuck to the floor. I forced it up and turned it over expecting to see soda all over it. Nope. Black motherfucking mold (from the air conditioner dripping onto it) had covered it. I immediately grabbed a sock and tried to save it. The finish began to come off. I carried it downstairs with tears in my eyes to Ms. Penny who got most of the mold off with bleach. The mold ate away at the wood. It cant be saved. I don't even know where to get another one and even if I did I couldn't pay for it nor could I regain the sentimental value this set had.
Luckily though, the stuff inside the kit was safe and all my art supplies were safe. A purse my grandmother gave me was ruined however.
If you guessed that i am a total emotional wreck, you are absolutely right....

I can redraw anything, but what I have lost today will never be replaced...

]]> ~Yumiko-Amaya http://Yumiko-Amaya.deviantart.com/journal/26289314/ http://Yumiko-Amaya.deviantart.com/journal/26289314/ Fri, 31 Jul 2009 02:21:22 PDT Take this pink ribbon off my eyes
I'm exposed
And it's no big surprise
Don't you think I know
Exactly where I stand
This world is forcing me
To hold your hand
'Cause I'm just a girl, little 'ol me
Don't let me out of your sight
I'm just a girl, all pretty and petite
So don't let me have any rights

Oh...I've had it up to here!
The moment that I step outside
So many reasons
For me to run and hide
I can't do the little things I hold so dear
'Cause it's all those little things
That I fear

'Cause I'm just a girl I'd rather not be
'Cause they won't let me drive
Late at night I'm just a girl,
Guess I'm some kind of freak
'Cause they all sit and stare
With their eyes

I'm just a girl,
Take a good look at me
Just your typical prototype

Oh...I've had it up to here!
Oh...am I making myself clear?
I'm just a girl
I'm just a girl in the world...
That's all that you'll let me be!
I'm just a girl, living in captivity
Your rule of thumb
Makes me worry some

I'm just a girl, what's my destiny?
What I've succumbed to Is making me numb
I'm just a girl, my apologies
What I've become is so burdensome
I'm just a girl, lucky me
Twiddle-dum there's no comparison

Oh...I've had it up to!
Oh...I've had it up to!!
Oh...I've had it up to here!



What would you do with a 3rd hand?
Depends if it were normal to have said hand or not..

If you could have one type of candy every time you snapped your fingers, what candy would it be?
Perhaps Twizzlers

If you could choose a super power, what one would you choose?
Invisibility or the Ability to Fly. I can never decide which one I like more.

If every time you sneezed, lightning struck your ex… Would you try not to sneeze or just let it happen?
Let it happen.

If you had a monkey’s tail, would you be more likely to hang from trees with it or use it to reach the remote control?
hang from trees

If you could speak to animals, which animal would you speak to first?
Buddy. I'd yell at him for pissing in the floor and leaving every to step in it.

Would you love having the ability to read minds or would you curse having the ability?
I would like it. I would love to know the way other people think.

If you could breathe fire every time you got upset, would your house still be standing?
No

If you had the ability to transform your appearance to look like one of your friends, would you try to hear what your best friend really thinks about you?
.....Maybe

If you had the ability to magically poof into any room, would you bother walking through doors anymore?
Nah

If you could create a delicious feast by clapping your hands, would you solve world hunger, Or would you just keep the ability secret and make food only for your family?
To be honest, I wouldn't solve world hunger. But I wouldn't just make it for my family. I would keep it secret, but still feed my friends and family.

Would you rather have rockets for legs, or wish-granting toilet plungers for arms?
Plungers! I can wish for them to look like my arms do and I could wish for rocket legs if I want. (I agree with Luba's answer so I'm just going to leave it here)

If you could speak to any house-hold object what would it be?
Hmmm... Maybe the oven. So I could figure out what was wrong with it.

If a traveling salesman gave you a hat that would make your dreams come true, would you wear the hat, if you knew that your life would go back to normal if you ever took the hat off?
No. I don't want my dreams to magically come true. Frankly, they probably won't. If they were to, I'd want to make them come true by myself not by some stupid hat.

If a wizard offered you the ability to make anyone attracted to you by winking at them, would you keep the ability if you developed a nervous twitch that made you wink randomly?
No.

Would you rather have permanent electrified handshakes or permanent horrible-itch creating hugs?
Electrified hands.

Would you rather have the ability to run to the bathroom at the speed of light or the ability to do back flips all the way to the refrigerator?
Run to the bathroom.

Would you want the ability to make everything you touch smell like lilacs?
No

If you had the ability to fill the mouths of all annoying people with jelly, would you use it once or every time they spoke?
I would keep doing it until they choked to death. (Once again, I like Luba's answer!)

If every time you sang, everyone around you broke into song and dance, would you sing anymore?
HAHAHA... ]]> ~Yumiko-Amaya http://Yumiko-Amaya.deviantart.com/journal/26270464/ http://Yumiko-Amaya.deviantart.com/journal/26270464/ Thu, 30 Jul 2009 06:57:29 PDT

"You can ask me up to THREE questions. No matter how crazy, inappropriate, or random they are. I will answer 100% truthfully (or as close to the truth as I can).

Now here's the dare. You must put this in your journal. See what other people will ask you."

]]> ~Yumiko-Amaya http://Yumiko-Amaya.deviantart.com/journal/26026435/ http://Yumiko-Amaya.deviantart.com/journal/26026435/ Sat, 18 Jul 2009 13:10:13 PDT Don't you HATE it?
I mean, what happens then? When people go through your shit and pull out the stuff that was buried and hidden. When you find out, that you're somewhat thankful for that. When your heart feels like its no longer beating. When you feel like you're just sitting in a cold, dark corner crying and no one is there to dry your salty wet face?
Don't you HATE it?
Or what about when you look in the mirror and stare at your face and despise what you see. Or when you have to fake a smile to everyone you love just because you know that your problem will never be solved. Or what about when you finally realize that nothing is ever going to go right anymore and that this said problem, is going to destroy you.
Don't you fucking HATE it?

]]> ~Yumiko-Amaya http://Yumiko-Amaya.deviantart.com/journal/25809361/ http://Yumiko-Amaya.deviantart.com/journal/25809361/ Wed, 08 Jul 2009 02:09:02 PDT


You should donate to my "I NEED GAMEZ!" fund. Its pretty empty....

I can go on the internet on it, too.
I tried to log into my dA and the page wouldn't load. Like at all. So I'm going to screw with a couple things on here to see if it works. Hopefully it will.

Oh, ok. So. It has TWO cameras. Not one, but TWO! You can also alter the photos in like 10 different ways. Okay so its more like 8 but whatever. As soon as I have some free time, I'm totally going to upload some pictures here! Just for all of you who haven't physically seen me in awhile!
haha
anywho. I'm going to go see if I can fix said problem.
Peace.

]]> ~Yumiko-Amaya http://Yumiko-Amaya.deviantart.com/journal/25031791/ http://Yumiko-Amaya.deviantart.com/journal/25031791/ Sat, 30 May 2009 11:18:06 PDT [x] You are rather wild, and let your instincts run you.
[] You get drunk a lot.
[] Bravery and boldness is second nature to you.
[x] You have a deep love for astronomy and the universe.
[] You like to read your daily Horoscope .
[x] You have a high level of pride in yourself.
[] In the woods is the best place for you to be.
[x] You are spiritual.
[x] The horse is your favorite animal.
[x] You are possessive and territorial.
Total: 6

Elf:
[] Your ears are slightly pointed at the tips
[x] You are very intelligent.
[x] Your five senses are extremely keen.
[] Your weight is quite a bit lighter than the average person at your particular height.
[] You always wear elegant clothes and speak as politely as possible.
[] You are most at peace when you are gazing at something beautiful, like nature.
[] You look very young for your age.
[] You rarely get sick.
[x] You are a very hard worker.
[x] Above all other superpowers, you would love to read minds or see the future.
Total: 4

Fairy:
[x] You are happy a lot of the time.
[] The best superpower to you would be to fly.
[] You are very shy.
[] You love the forest and plant life in general.
[x] You are always willing to help others, even if you might not be the best to offer aid.
[] You are young and short.
[] Dancing is one of your favorite pastimes.
[x] If someone ticks you off, you are very clever with getting them back.
[x] Your clothing isn't always presentable, but you are comfortable with what you wear.
[] Circles are a wonderful symbol of unity to you.
Total: 4

Gnome/Dwarf:
[x] You are excellent with crafts and handiwork.
[x] In social situations, you tend to be a little awkward.
[] You are short for your age.
[x] You are an isolationist.
[x] You love to play practical jokes on people.
[x] You are extremely fascinated with jewelry.
[x] You look older than your age.
[] You love the woods and the mountains.
[] You are well off, or come from a family that is well off.
[x] You have a short temper.
Total: 7

Harpy/Siren:
[] You are best at talking bad about people behind their backs and not to their face.
[x] When you are annoyed, you will go to a great extent to torment whoever did so to you.
[x] You often take things that aren't yours.
[x] You are easily angered.
[x] Death fascinates you.
[x] You are female, or a feminine-looking man.
[] You associate yourself with the wind element.
[x] You can switch quickly between your light and dark side.
[x] You love to trick others.
[x] You have a ravenous appetite.
Total: 8

Mermaid:
[x] You love the beach more so because of the water than the shore itself.
[x] Fish are some of the most beautiful creatures to you.
[] The ultimate superpower to you would be to breathe underwater.
[x] You enjoy looking at ships, but not riding them, as well as you like ships for traveling, not hunting in the sea.
[x] You are good at swimming.
[x] You like to collect shells.
[x] You use sea items as jewelry or decoration.
[x] You enjoy learning about the ocean and the life inside it.
[x] You are extremely against ocean pollution, and someday, perhaps (if you haven't already), you will work to stop that.
[x] Legs on land are not as important as a fin in the sea.
Total: 9

Vampire:
[x] You're a night person.
[x] You have a fascination with blood.
[x] You are extremely pale.
[x] You wish you had a bat as a pet.
[x] You are not religious at all.
[] Tight spaces are not scary or uncomfortable for you.
[x] The sun's glare annoys you all too often.
[x] You hate food with lots of garlic in it.
[x] To you, a kiss on the neck is more romantic than a kiss on the cheek or lips.
[x] You don't like sharp objects near you.
Total: 9

Werewolf:
[x] The full moon is the most beautiful scene to you.
[] You have a lot of body hair.
[] The ability to shapeshift is the best superpower to you.
[] You prefer gold over silver items.
[x] You lack self control.
[x] You find it easier to have sympathy for animals than for humans.
[] You have a deep respect for wolves and wild dogs.
[x] You like to be alone.
[x] You have a terrible secret and you only tell people you trust 100% about it.
[] You'd rather be outdoors than indoors.
Total: 5

Wizard/Witch:
[] You love chemistry.
[x] You are intuitive and good at analyzing people, to the point that people seriously or jokingly say you're crazy
[] The most amazing power to you is controlling the elements.
[] You are a nature lover.
[] You have a strong sense of responsibility (yo... ]]> ~Yumiko-Amaya http://Yumiko-Amaya.deviantart.com/journal/24817669/ http://Yumiko-Amaya.deviantart.com/journal/24817669/ Mon, 18 May 2009 07:08:18 PDT I never knew girls existed like you
But now that I do
I'd really like to get to know you

The girl's too young
She don't need any better
It's all coming back
I can feel it
The girl's too young
She don't know any better
It's all coming back
I can feel it

[Chorus:]
She is beautiful
She is beautiful
She is beautiful
She is beautiful
The girl is beautiful

You're giving me moves that hit from all sides
and when you are hitting like that you melt my eyes

The girl's too young
She don't need any better
It's all coming back
I can feel it
The girl's too young
She don't know any better
It's all coming back
I can feel it

And though I never know you
I look at your face.
To tell you that I love you
Don't know what to say
You're everything I got, you beautiful girl
The only thing I live for in the whole wide world

[Chorus:]
She is beautiful
She is beautiful
She is beautiful
She is beautiful
The girl is beautiful

I ain't got nothing to lose (Nothing to lose)
Going to throw it away
And talk to you
She looks good
She looks good
And it's true
And it's true
The girl is beautiful
She is beautiful

I ain't got nothing to lose (Nothing to lose)
Only living one time
And I want you
She looks good
She looks good
And it's true
And it's true
The girl is beautiful
She is beautiful

She is beautiful
She is beautiful
Na na na na na na na na
She is beautiful
She is beautiful
Na na na na na na na na
The girl is beautiful
She is beautiful
She is beautiful
Na na na na na na na na
She is beautiful
She is beautiful
Na na na na na na na na

I ain't got nothing to lose (Nothing to lose)
Going to throw it away
And talk to you
She looks good
She looks good
And it's true
And it's true
The girl is beautiful
She is beautiful

I ain't got nothing to lose (Nothing to lose)
And I'll never forget
When I saw you
She looks good
She looks good
And it's true
And it's true
The girl is beautiful
She is beautiful

I used to wish someone would feel that way about me.


1. Where did you take your profile pic?
Johns computer room

2. What exactly are you wearing right now?
shirt, bra, jeans, underwear, socks, shoes.

3. What is your current problem?
stress, pain, sickness

4. What makes you happy most?
friends, music, john

5. What's the name of the song that you're listening to?
She is beautiful - Andrew W.K.

6. Any Celeb you would marry?
nope

7. Name someone with the same birthday as you?
My moms old best friends son

8. Ever sang in front of a large audience?
eh, sorta

9. Has anyone ever said you looked like a celebrity?
sorta. some say my eyes are like avril lavinges

10. Do you speak any other languages?
not fluently

12. Has anyone you've been really close with passed away?
not really
where'd ? 11 go

13.Do you ever watch MTV?
no

14. What's something that really annoys you?
PEOPLE

Chapter 1:
===============
1. Middle name:
Michelle

2. Nickname(s):
Kayra

3. Current location:
the floor

4. Eye color:
blue

Chapter 2:
===============
1. Do you get along with your parent(s):
One of my favorite quotes from one of my favorite movies:
John Bender: You get along with your parents?
Andrew Clark: Well, if I say yes I'm an idiot, right?
John Bender: You're an idiot anyway. But if you say you get along with your parents, well, you're a liar too.

2.Are your parents married/separated/divorced
divorced

3. Do you have any Siblings?:
two

Chapter 3: Favorites
===============
1. Ice Cream:
cookies and cream

2. Season:
winter

3. Shampoo/conditioner:
Garnier Fructis

Do You...
===============
1. Dance in the shower?
yup

2. Do you write on your hand?
sometimes.

3. Call people back?
if i like the person

4. Believe in love?
i try to....

6. Any bad habits?
numba 5 is missing and yes i have plenty

7. Any mental health issues?
doesn't everyone?

Chapter 5: Have You..
===============
1. Broken a bone?
yes

2. Sprained stuff?
yes

3. Had physical therapy?
yes

4. Gotten stitches?
yes

5.... ]]> ~Yumiko-Amaya http://Yumiko-Amaya.deviantart.com/journal/24739171/ http://Yumiko-Amaya.deviantart.com/journal/24739171/ Wed, 13 May 2009 14:46:10 PDT Your eyes tell the stories of a day you wish you could
Recall the moments that once have
Retract the footsteps that brought us to this favor
I wouldn't ask this of you

Good eye, sniper
Here I'll shoot, you run
The words you scribbled on the walls
With the loss of friends you didn't have
I'll call you when the time is right
Are you in or are you out?
For them all to know the end of us all

Run quick, they're behind us
Didn't think we'd ever make it
This close to safety in one piece
Now you wanna kill me in the act of what could maybe
Save us from sleep and what we are

Good eye, sniper
Now I shoot, you run
The words you scribbled on the walls
With the loss of friends you didn't have
I'll call you when the time is right
Are you in or are you out?
For them all to know the end of us all

Bye bye beautiful
Don't bother to write
Disturbed by your words and they're calling all cars
Face step, let down.
Face step, step down.

The words you scribbled on the walls
With the loss of friends you didn't have
I'll call you when the time is right
Are you in or are you out?
For them all to know

Bye bye beautiful
Don't bother to write
Disturbed by your words and they're calling all cars
Face step, let down.
Face step, step down.

Bye bye beautiful
Don't bother to write
Disturbed by your words and they're calling all cars
Face step, let down.
Face step, step down

I'm really bored. John caught whatever I had and is now sick as shit. I'm slowly catching it again. The congestion is coming back and I've been sneezing and coughing a lot. Luckily no sore throat, yet.
So I've been slowly writing a new poem/song. It's coming along great now. I can't wait to finish it.
My art is also coming along great. I need to fix a couple pictures but other than that I'm happy with it.
Since I'm sick I can't really sing right now but I've heard so many songs I want to sing to. It sucks. I really want to sing!
Oh yeah, if you guys have any advice on what to write about or what to draw, hit me up. I'm running out of ideas.

I've also noticed that Loken has been posting his dreams. I wanted to do that but I can't seem to remember most of my dreams. I did have one the other day that I do remember:
John and I had broken up. I deleted my myspace, facebook, deviantart, vampirefreaks, zoklet, yahoo emails, everything. I totally disappeared from everyone. The dream skipped a bit. I ended up moving to Winston or some big city and I was 21. I decided to visit the church my granddad used to make me attend. I passed out while there and then had a seizure. I woke up in the hospital and they cured me shortly after. It then skipped to me being about 24. I was in a semi big band and we were the opening act for Good Charlotte. I was singing a love song and then sang Going Under from Evanescence. I saw John, his mom, and his dad in the crowd. When I was finished and GC came to the stage, I went backstage where my make-up was fixed and I was handed a bottle of water. I stared into the mirror in my dressing room and began to cry and cut myself with a straight edge razor I found on the counter. John came into the room and took the razor away and held me as I cried.
I woke up with tears on my face and I somehow ended up in John's arms. And his breath stunk a little bit...
Anybody know what that means?? I'm a little confused.

]]> ~Yumiko-Amaya http://Yumiko-Amaya.deviantart.com/journal/24668221/ http://Yumiko-Amaya.deviantart.com/journal/24668221/ Sat, 09 May 2009 11:59:37 PDT I think I'd die.

How much older is the person you're currently interested in?
a couple months

Think back eight months ago, were you single?
No.

What do you carry with you at all times?
purse and phone

Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to on the phone?
umm. idk

Do you lie about your age?
no but i have

Just how many people do you have a thing for right now?
1

When you say you don't care, do you mean it?
Usually!

What's something that bothers you about girls?
how much they like to gossip

Would you go back in time to change something?
no

How are you feeling?
crappy.

If you look straight ahead past your computer screen, what do you see?
wall

Favorite vegetable?
corn

Kissed someone in the past twenty-four hours?
yes

Does anything hurt on your body right now?
period cramps hurt.

Do you have a CD player in your car?
I don't have a car

Is there something you're not looking forward to?
maybe.

Do you miss someone?
yes

Is something wrong right now?
of course. something's always wrong

Are you mad at someone?
no

Do you plan on sleeping in tomorrow?
of course

What time is it right now?
2:46PM

What's the first thing you notice on the opposite sex?
personality. then i go into appearance.

What's on your mind?
i can't answer that.

What were you doing right before you logged into Deviantart?
watching music videos with john

Are you jealous of someone right now?
No

Do you have any secrets that no one knows?
of course

Have you ever kissed anyone whose name started with a W?
maybe?

Jorge or George?
....???

When was the last time you were sick?
i'm sick now

Do you talk to the person you have a thing for?
i live with said person

Do you have a piggy bank that's actually shaped like a pig?
yes. and he's black with beady red eyes!

Did you talk to a complete jerk today?
Yep

Do you want to start over with anyone?
maybe

Do you know if anyone likes you?
Yes a lot of people surprisingly

What's the last thing you put in your mouth?
faygo

Has anyone called you perfect before?
yes

Are you good at hiding your feelings?
not from john

When was the last time you went to the mall?
umm when i lived with billy

What are you listening to?
john make annoying noises on the other computer

Do you believe EXs should have second chances?
No. not really. but it could happen

Have you ever had a boy best friend?
yes

The last person you kissed needs you at 3 AM, would you go?
absolutely

Would you risk ur life for someone else?
yes but i don't think they believe me. which hurts. a lot.....

Has anyone ever told you you have pretty eyes?
yes

Honestly, has anyone ever seen you in your underwear?
yes

Anything you would change about your life right now?
maybe...idk

Have you ever given your number out to a stranger?
no

When is the last time you went out to eat?
yesterday? idr

Lets say your number 4 likes your last ex, you say?
idr who my number 4 is and idrc who they liked

Last person at your house who's not family?
idk

Have you ever changed clothes in a vehicle?
Yes.

Could you go the rest of your life without drinking alcohol?
no

Do you care too much/not at all/just enough?..
depends on what the subject is

I bet you miss somebody right now?
yes

Do you miss the way things used to be?
sorta.

What's on your schedule for tomorrow?
idk. probably spend the day with john watching house or something.

When someone says "we need to talk", what do you think?
oh shit...

Does the last person you text mean anything to you?
ummm he's a really good friend.

]]> ~Yumiko-Amaya http://Yumiko-Amaya.deviantart.com/journal/24631569/ http://Yumiko-Amaya.deviantart.com/journal/24631569/ Thu, 07 May 2009 08:26:00 PDT no

When you're walking, do you stop to drink?
no

Do you believe that if you want something bad enough you'll get it?
maybe. if you work for it hard enough

Have you ever kissed someone in a vehicle?
yeah

Ever snuck out of your house?
yep

Kill or Be killed?
Kill

Break someone’s heart or have your heart broken?
break someone's heart. i'm tired of feeling pain.

What did you do today?
just got up because john texted me.

Do you like someone right this second?
yes

Would you ever get a tattoo?
yes, hopefully the end of this month or next month.

What was the last thing you ate?
a cookie

Are you a morning person or a night person?
night

Do you snore?
idk. ask john.

Do you know anyone who has gotten an abortion?
yea

What would you do if you opened up your front door to a dead body?
shut the door and call the cops and tell them someone left a present for me and i wanna return it thanks.

Do you like to spend time with people?
not really.

Are you hungry?
not anymore

Are you a forgiving person?
no

When was the last time you did the dishes?
idk

Are you talking to anyone while doing this?
more like just letting the two of them rant then going "lol" every few lines.

Do you want a relationship right now?
i've got one.

What are you about to do?
rip out my ovaries.

Have you ever thought someone died, when they really didn't?
nope

If you could be a superhero what would you want to do?
fly, invisibility, telepathic powers, some sort of weapon in my skeleton that i can whip out like wolverine can, and that's all i can think of right now.

Your name plus "ness"?
kayraness

Three feelings at the moment?
pain, tired, afraid

Done anything you regret so far in life?
hasn't everyone at least done something they've regretted?

Are you listening to anything?
i was trying to listen to john's show but something's fucked up and i can't hear shit.

Where are you right now?
john's bedroom. or our bedroom. i honestly could care less

What are you scared of?
who gives a shit?

Last movie you watched?
road trip. and i'm about to watch edward scissorhands.

Last song you sang out loud?
idr

Are you thinking of someone right now?
i'm always thinking of him

Who is the last person you talked to on the phone?
ms penny

Last thing you downloaded on your computer?
we're downloading some episodes of house right now

Have you changed much this year?
sure

Where was the last place you went besides where you are?
my mom's house

Has anyone ever said you looked like a celebrity?
i've been told my eyes look like avril lavigne's eyes

Do you speak any other language?
german, but not fluently

Do you dress for style or comfort?
comfort.

Ever had a drunken night in Mexico?
not yet

What's the craziest thing you've done?
that's a hard question

Favorite color(s)?
black and blood red

What is your favorite Nickelback song?
animals or figured you out

What are you looking forward to this summer?
the road trip

Last time you smiled?
last night

If you could choose any fate what would you choose?
idk... but it'd be something epic and totally sad at the same time. like something that would make john (as manly as he is *rolls eyes*) burst into tears everytime he heard my name!

If you could have anything in the world, what would you want?
idk. i don't even know what i want right now. well i do, its not an item. but i can't say it on here.

]]> ~Yumiko-Amaya http://Yumiko-Amaya.deviantart.com/journal/24458334/ http://Yumiko-Amaya.deviantart.com/journal/24458334/ Mon, 27 Apr 2009 07:08:16 PDT I like your pants around your feet
And I like the dirt that's on your knees
And I like the way you still say please
While you're looking up at me
You're like my favourite damn disease

And I love the places that we go
And I love the people that you know
And I love the way you can't say no
Too many long lines in a row
I love the powder on your nose

And now I know who you are
It wasn't that hard, just to figure you out
(Now I did, you wonder why)
And now I know who you are
It wasn't that hard, just to figure you out
(Now I did, you wonder why)

I like the freckles on your chest
And I like the way you like me best
And I like the way you're not impressed
While you put me to the test
I like the white stains on your dress

And I love the way you pass the check
And I love the good times that you wreck
And I love your lack of self-respect
While you passed out on the deck
I love my hands around your neck

And now I know who you are
It wasn't that hard, just to figure you out
(Now I did, you wonder why)
And now I know who you are
It wasn't that hard, just to figure you out
(Now I did, you wonder why)
(Why not before, you never tried)
(Gone for good, and this is it)

I like your pants around your feet
And I like the dirt that's on your knees
And I like the way you still say please
While you're looking up at me
You're like my favourite damn disease

And I hate the places that we go
And I hate the people that you know
And I hate the way you can't say no
Too many long lines in a row
I hate the powder on your nose

And now I know who you are
It wasn't that hard, just to figure you out
(Now I did, you wonder why)
And now I know who you are
It wasn't that hard, just to figure you out
(Now I did, you wonder why)
(Why not before, you never tried)
(Gone for good, and this is it)



I just heard that song after what seems like forever! I wanted to sing it so bad but my throat is still sore! :'(
Anywho.
I'm really really bored. I want to get up and do shit but I just can't find the energy to do anything.Too bad my mom has the ps3 for awhile. I could be playing Grand Theft Auto 4 or something. I'm waiting to see if John will email me during his radio class at the Career Center. I told him I'd be up. For some reason I just can't go back to sleep. Its probably because of all the pain I'm in. >.< But yeah. If he doesn't email me, I'll just go lay down for a while and read or something.
Oh yes! I got most of my stories back from my grandparents house! I was looking over them and I realized, Jesus, I suck! Ha! I want to fix something in a paragraph but I notice that if I do, it'd fuck up the entire story. One of my stories has no plot whatsoever! So I'll have to work on some of them somehow.
I also got my guitars back. I was surprised that my fingers knew where to go on all the chords I know. The only reason I kept fucking up was because I'd either get distracted, start strumming to fast or to slow, or I'd space out completely and come back to staring at the wall or something! John and I tried to tune my acoustic guitar and he broke a string. It was funny because it scared the shit out of him! I'm going to ask Billy or Colby if I can borrow a tuner for awhile. My electric still needs a tune up. I may just buy one when I get the money. *shrug* I don't know. Whatever works.
My throat has been killing me. It really hurts to talk and breathe and shit. And it so weird when I'm typing because I can hear my voice in my head, right? Well when I'm talking out loud it sounds completely different and it hurts. I've got this huge wall of text here but I would only be able to speak the first sentence and then my throat would start to hurt...

Well I'm off to go get some food.
Later.

]]> ~Yumiko-Amaya http://Yumiko-Amaya.deviantart.com/journal/24389498/ http://Yumiko-Amaya.deviantart.com/journal/24389498/ Thu, 23 Apr 2009 06:41:58 PDT
Summarize me in one sentence:
Where did we meet:
Take a stab at my middle name:
How long have you known me:
When is the last time that we saw each other:
Do I drink:
Do I smoke:
Do I do Drugs:
Am I happy:
Am I a good person:
What was your first impression of upon meeting me/seeing me:
What's one of my favorite things to do:
Who Do i love more than my life:
Am I funny:
Have you ever made me smile..if so when n how:
What's my favorite type of music:
Have you ever seen me cry:
Can I sing?:
What is the best feature about me:
Am I shy or outgoing:
Am I a rebel or do I follow the rules:
Do I have any special talents:
Would you call me preppy, average, punk, hippie, glam, nerdy, snobby, country, redneck,or something else (what):
Have you ever hugged me:
Kissed me?:
Have you ever seen me naked:
What is my favorite food:
Have you ever had a crush on me:
Am I a good cook:
Am I dating anyone:
Would you date me?:
If there was one good nickname for me, what would it be:
What's your favorite memory of me:
What is my worst habit:
Do I like corn dogs:
Have you ever had a dream about me?:
If you and I were stranded on a deserted island, what is the one thing I would bring?:
Are we friends:
Whats my religion?:
Am I family oriented?:
Who is my best friend?:
Will you repost this so I can do it?:

---------------------------------------------
News-

First of all. I'm sick, AGAIN. I just got over a stomach virus. Now I caught Ms. Penny's sore throat sickness or whatever. It hurts really bad. I'm going to be watching movies all day and resting my throat. I hope no one comes over. I really don't feel good. Oh wait, no one is supposed to come over anyway. *shrugs* Works for me.
I also finished a book yesterday. I'm now on like the third from the last book in the series. If you like Action/Romance/Vampire novels read the Black Dagger Brotherhood series. Its awesome.

]]> ~Yumiko-Amaya http://Yumiko-Amaya.deviantart.com/journal/24265686/ http://Yumiko-Amaya.deviantart.com/journal/24265686/ Wed, 15 Apr 2009 22:17:55 PDT I'll just update you all on whats going on. Though most of you could care less!

This morning I woke up to being hot as shit. I almost stripped naked and stood in front of the open window. Then I fell back asleep. I awoke again to being freezing. I wanted to put on every article of clothing in this room. All of that repeated many times until I woke up to having to throw up. Luckily, I made it to the bathroom. But my stomach still feels all bubbly and shit.
I've also noticed that I've been "wet" all day if you know what I mean. I have no idea why. I'm not horny at all.

My brother got a ps3 for easter. I got a bra and some bargain bin romance movie I'm not interested in watching. But I am getting to play with the ps3. He got Grand Theft Auto 4(which I'm playing the shit out of) and two sports games. My mom got Guitar Hero Metallica for me but didn't know she had to buy ps3 guitars for it. So John and I traded it in for Resident Evil 5. We almost beat the game. We're on the last boss but he's really annoying.

I've also been feeling quite angry and alone lately. I don't know why. I'm annoyed at the smallest possible things and I find myself wondering why it pisses me off. I've been very quiet and kept to myself also. These feelings are random and unexplainable.

My grandfather has offered to get me my license. I told him okay as long as there's no catch. He's going to pay for my insurance for awhile too. That makes me a little paranoid and suspicious but I'm just going to go with the flow. As soon as I'm feeling better I'm getting my license. Downside? No car. *shrug*

]]> ~Yumiko-Amaya http://Yumiko-Amaya.deviantart.com/journal/23899383/ http://Yumiko-Amaya.deviantart.com/journal/23899383/ Thu, 26 Mar 2009 12:49:02 PDT you have no FUCKING idea


What movie did you last watch?
RENT


What are you doing right now?
talking to people


What are you hearing?
the voices in my head


Do relationships work for you?
well, if i knew what was going to happen i would've daid no.


Better to have loved and loss than to of never of loved at all?
usually.


Would you date any of your exes?
sure why not


Do you like to tell people how you're feeling?
yea


What were you doing at 3:15 today?
talking to people


Have you lost anyone close to you lately?
yes i have


Are you missing anyone?
the old *insert name here*


What is the biggest mistake you ever made?
i think i've already said that


What do you think of abortion?
its wonderful


Who's someone you can't live without?
*sigh* this sure isn't making me feel any FUCKING better


Who do you trust most in your life?
my brother. and that's it.


Who always makes you laugh when you're sad?
..............


What if your #1 got pregnant?
he cant

Where were you at last night at 12:13?
Sleeping in john's arms....


About the person that hurt you most in your life....did they say sorry?
yes. they cried too. but are we sure that they mean it.


Where are you wanting to move when you're older?
where ever


Your best relationship ever...when was it?
i guess never


Are you closed or open about your feelings?
Closed but open to friends


Do you wish you were somewhere else?
You have no idea
All I want is freedom, a world with no more night.
And you always beside me, to hold me and to hide me.
Then say, you'll share with me one love, one lifetime.
Let me lead you from your solitude.
Say, you want me with you, here beside you.
Anywhere you go let me go too, that's all I ask of you.

Can you honestly say you are happy?
no.


If someone wanted to ask you out right now, would you want them to tell you?
yes


What did you do this weekend?
got fucking blazed


Have you ever been in love?
i am now........


Whats the number one thing you look for in a guy/girl?
personality

]]> ~Yumiko-Amaya http://Yumiko-Amaya.deviantart.com/journal/23807487/ http://Yumiko-Amaya.deviantart.com/journal/23807487/ Sat, 21 Mar 2009 02:49:51 PDT I've been sleeping at Billy's or chilling at Denny's until Billy gets off work then going to his house and sleeping.
I'm at Kayla York's house right now. I can't sleep. Everyone else is asleep. I'm a little tired. I'm watching an episode of Home Improvement and after it I'm going to try and go to sleep. I think Kayla's parents are going to work but I have no idea when they are going and I have no idea how to turn off this projection T.V. thing. The volume button on the remote she gave me doesn't work either. And another thing that sucks is I'm kinda hungry but I don't want to take any of their food. I mean, I have my own money for food, I don't need any of their's,
John only talked to me a little bit when he got home. I wanted to talk to him a little while longer but he was tired, so I guess he and I will talk tomorrow. He's supposed to pick me up at eleven. I swear if he doesn't come I'm going to kick his ass!
I also tried to write a poem about all the stress I've been undergoing lately, but nothing flowed. To be honest, I'm kinda sick of all this drama. I sometimes wish I just let myself be pushed around by my grandparents. Only because I would still be in school and I'd be eating every night and have a nice comfortable bed to sleep in. God, life really sucks doesn't it?

Well, I'm going to go try and figure out how the hell to turn this T.V. off and then I'm going to go try and sleep.

]]> ~Yumiko-Amaya http://Yumiko-Amaya.deviantart.com/journal/23650838/ http://Yumiko-Amaya.deviantart.com/journal/23650838/ Wed, 11 Mar 2009 20:17:47 PDT
[x] I Talk A LOT when I get really nervous.
[x] I am really ticklish.
[ ] I’m afraid of the dark.
[x] I can’t sleep in a room if the door is open
[ ] I can’t sleep in a room if the door is closed
[ ] I am homosexual
[x] I believe in true love.
[x] I’ve ran away from home.
[ ] I listen to political music.
[ ] I collect comic books
[x] I shut others out when I’m sad.
[x] I’ve stayed out all night.
[ ] I open up to others easily.
[x] I am keeping a secret from the world.
[x] I watch the news.
[x] I love Disney movies.
[x] I am a sucker for green eyes.
[ ] I am a sucker for brown eyes.
[x] I am a sucker for blue eyes.
[ ] I don't kill bugs.
[ ] I have “x”s in my screen name.
[x] I’ve slipped and fell in public.
[x] I’ve slipped out a “lol” in a real conversation
[ ] I love spam
[x] I bake well.
[x] I have worn pajamas to class.
[ ] I want a better job
[x] Talked on a phone for 6+ hours.
[ ] I love Dr. Phil.
[ ] I like multiple people.
[ ] I am guilty of tYpInG lIkE tHiS.
[x] I am self-conscious.
[x] I love to laugh.
[x] I have tried alcohol.
[ ] I drink alcohol on a regular basis.
[x] I have tried a cigarette.
[x] I have smoked a pack in one day.
[ ] I loved Lord of the Flies.
[ ] I have cough drops when I’m not sick.
[ ] I can’t swallow pills.
[x] I have a lot of scars.
[ ] I can’t sleep if there is a spider in the room.
[x] I like chocolate.
[x] I bite my nails.
[x] I am not comfortable with being me.
[x] I play computer games when I’m bored.
[x] Gotten lost in the city.
[x] Thought of suicide before.
[x] Seen a shooting star.
[x] Gone out in public in my pajamas.
[x] Hugged a stranger.
[x] Been in a fist fight.
[x] Laughed and had some type of beverage come out of my nose.
[x] Pushed all the buttons on an elevator.
[ ] Made out in an elevator.
[x] Kicked a guy where it hurts on purpose.
[ ] Been skydiving.
[ ] Been bungee jumping.
[x] Gotten stitches.
[ ] Drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour.
[x] Bitten someone.
[ ] Been to Niagara Falls.
[x] Gotten the chicken pox.
[ ] Crashed into a car.
[ ] Been to Germany.
[ ] Ridden in a taxi.
[x] Shoplifted.
[ ] Been fired.
[ ] Had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back.
[ ] Stole something from your job.
[ ] Gone on a blind date.
[x] Had a crush on a teacher/coach.
[ ] Celebrated Mardi Gras in New Orleans.
[ ] Been to Europe.
[ ] Slept with a co-worker, and/or employee.
[ ] Been married
[ ] Gotten divorced
[x] Saw someone/something dying.
[x] Have a list of people you want to kill.
[x] Ridden in a car over 400 miles in one day.
[ ] Seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
[ ] Thrown up in a bar.
[ ] Eaten sushi.
[x] Cried in public.
[ ] Walked purposely into traffic with your eyes closed.
[x] Liked someone even though you knew you shouldn’t have.
[x] Thought of someone a lot lately.
[x] Hated the world.
[ ] I think I’m really attractive.
[x] I prefer winter over summer.
[x] I am a geek.
[ ] I am a shopaholic.
[x] I am reasonably intelligent.
[x] I am attracted to girls.
[x] I am attracted to boys.
[x] I like British accents.
[x] I smoke regularly.
[ ] I smoke socially.
[x] I drink socially.
[ ] I drink regularly.
[ ] I get drunk easily.
[ ] I do “drug(s)”.
[x] I will never date a bad kisser.
[ ] I’ve lied to avoid kissing them again.
[ ] I brush my hair at least 50 times a night.
[ ] I am religious.
[x] I am not religious but have morals.
[ ] I lie frequently.
[ ] I am impulsive.
[x] I am hardworking.
[ ] I loved Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind
[ ] She’s All That is one of my favourite movies.
[x] I am good at History.
[ ] I speak more than two languages.
[x] I enjoy taking pictures.
[x] I like spending money on myself.
[x] I like spending money on others.
[ ] I have a regular income.
[ ] I earn money on a job-by-job basis.
[ ] I pay my own bills.
[ ] I rely on my parents for money.
[x] I can cook.
[x] I enjoy cleaning.
[ ] Tidiness is a must in my life.
[ ] I like clutter.
[ ] My idea of good music is Britney Spears.
[ ] I am fashion-conscious.
[x] I have good taste.
[x] People tell me I have good taste.
[x] I am good at sports.
[x] I am good at certain sports.
[ ] I couldn’t do sports to save my life.
[x] I am creative.
[/] I am extremely artistically inclined.
[x] I want to be an artist when I grow up.
[ ] I want to be an engi... ]]> ~Yumiko-Amaya http://Yumiko-Amaya.deviantart.com/journal/23590333/ http://Yumiko-Amaya.deviantart.com/journal/23590333/ Sun, 08 Mar 2009 11:27:29 PDT They kept singing "Christmas bells are ringing!" at random fucking times!
And some of the actors really couldn't sing.
Honestly, the movie was better.

But I'm keeping the RENT Filmed Live on Broadway disc, just to say I've got it.

]]> ~Yumiko-Amaya http://Yumiko-Amaya.deviantart.com/journal/23489195/ http://Yumiko-Amaya.deviantart.com/journal/23489195/ Mon, 02 Mar 2009 12:51:09 PST 2. I'll tell you which song or movie you remind me of.
3. I'll pick a flavor of jello to wrestle you in.
4. I'll say something that only makes sense to you and me.
5. I'll tell you my first memory of you.
6. I'll tell you what animal you remind me of.
7. I'll ask you something I've always wondered about you.
8. I'll tell you my favorite thing about you.
9. I'll tell you my least favorite thing about you.
10. If you play, you MUST post this on yours.

]]> ~Yumiko-Amaya http://Yumiko-Amaya.deviantart.com/journal/23384160/ http://Yumiko-Amaya.deviantart.com/journal/23384160/ Tue, 24 Feb 2009 15:38:34 PST
Follow the steps below and repost with an extra steps(as many as you want). Its a Survival Guide

Step 1: Don't cry.
Step 2: Don't be too Annoying.
Step 3: Don't cheat, unless she is OK with it!
Step 4: Don't be boring
Step 5: Visit twice a year!
Step 6: Don't be dramatic-scene kid
Step 7: Don't throw mountain dew cans at your girlfriend during poker night.
Step 8: Do not wear bacon boxers. Make them out of condoms.
Step 9: Do not be to overbearing.
Step 10: Do not hit her in the forehead with the bill of your cap when you try to kiss her.
Step 11: the first time you have sex, make sure you actually get in the hole, and don't just "graze" it.
Step 12: When you see a threesome opportunity, go for it. Then apologize for it every day the following month.
Step 13: If you see that she is upset, talk to her.
Step 14: If she wants to rant about something/someone, let her.
Step 15: If she hates someone and doesn't want you to hang out with them a lot, listen to her. It will prevent a lot of fights.
Step 16: Don't be noticeably nicer to a guy/girl friend more than your girlfriend.
Step 17: Don't be extremely immature or hyper (childish) a lot.
Step 18: Treat her with the golden rule.
Step 19: If you see an opportunity to help her, do it, even if she don't want you to. She'll thank you in the long run.
Step 20: Make her laugh a lot.

]]> ~Yumiko-Amaya http://Yumiko-Amaya.deviantart.com/journal/23232310/ http://Yumiko-Amaya.deviantart.com/journal/23232310/ Mon, 16 Feb 2009 10:08:13 PST
Axe: john
Chainsaw: massacre
Dog: sayge
Cat: cameron
Crow: movie
Television: cartoons
Plastic: bags
Metal: Music
Fire: fun
Water: fun
Pigeon: poop
Pie: Cherry
Blood: luba
Death: tombstone
Bunnies: soft
Flowers: roses
Sun: evil
Frilly pink dress: murder

What first comes to mind when you first hear the following adjective?

Hot: summer
Cold: john's house
Wet: sex
Fried: chicken
Funny: your face
Sad: tears
Forlorn: my mom
Happy: circus clowns
Hyper: kayla york
Depressed: me
Bouncy: ball
Stiff: stick
Stretchy: bathing suit
Wobbly: weebles wobbles
Dark: night
Bright: sun

What first comes to mind when you hear the following verbs?

Jump: around
Walk: run
Run: kids
Drink: juice
Fight: fight club
Rant: wild
Complement: (nothing comes to mind)
Sit: still
Stand: up
Spin: around
Call: ya mom
Whistle: while you work
Ask: please
Beg: for your life
Give: you hell
Take: one
Slash: murder



So I finished Lover Eternal by J.R. Ward.
As soon as I get more money, I'm going to buy Lover Awakened, which is the next book. I can't wait. I almost cried at the ending of Lover Eternal. I had to go and hug John for like 5 minutes. So, all of you who love vampire action/romance novels seriously need to read the Black Dagger Brotherhood series.

I think I can just go ahead and say that this whole series rocks.

My next book is Halfway to the Grave by Jeaniene Frost. I don't know if I'll continue to read the series or not since I'm running out of money fast. So if anyone wants to get me a gift card or something that's all cool! haha.

]]> ~Yumiko-Amaya http://Yumiko-Amaya.deviantart.com/journal/23204685/ http://Yumiko-Amaya.deviantart.com/journal/23204685/ Sat, 14 Feb 2009 20:39:02 PST - Available: Nope! so don't even try!

- Age: 17

- Annoyance: dvd's that skip!!!

- Allergic: work

- Animal: .......i can't pick a favorite

- Actor: mmmmmmmm........idk

B
- Beer: vodka

- Birthday/Birthplace: may 30th 1991, wesley long hospital

- Best Friends: a lot

- Body Part on opposite sex: muscles/abs

- Best feeling in the world: when john hugs me or looks at me and you can tell he means it when he says he loves me

- Blind or Deaf: nope

- Best weather: severe thunder storm

- Been in Love: am now

- Been bitched out?: oh yea

- Been on stage?: sometimes

- Believe in yourself?: yes, i do exist ya know

- Believe in life on other planets: maybe yes

- Believe in miracles: *sings the song*

- Believe in Magic: sorta kinda

- Believe in God: no

- Believe in Satan: no

- Believe in Santa: lol

- Believe in Ghosts/spirits: yes

- Believe in Evolution: yea

C
- Car: 8one that gets me where to go

- Candy: 3 musketeers

- Colour: black and red

- Cried in school: yes

- Chocolate/Vanilla: chocolate

- Chinese/Mexican: american

- Cake or pie: cake

- Countries to visit: most of europe

D
- Day or Night: night

- Dream vehicle: idk

- Danced: ??

- Dance in the rain?: yes

- Dance in the middle of the street?: yes

- Do the splits?: idk?

E
- Eggs: scrambled

- Eyes: blue

- Everyone has: touched themselves

- Ever failed a class?: several

F
- First crush: lol some guy whos a prep now

- Full name: Kayla Michelle Dean

- First thoughts waking up: hmmm john has a boner, goes to pleasure him

- Food: mcdonalds

G
- Greatest Fear: the past

- Giver or taker: both

- Goals: too many

- Gum: nom nom nom

- Get along with your parents?: who does?

- Good luck charms: that's john!

H
- Hair Colour: some weird ass color but i want it naturally red

- Height: 5' 9"

- Happy: whenever i'm with him

- Holidays: Halloween

- How do you want to die: jump.

- Health freak?: lol not really

- Hate: modern society/government/religion/people/all of the above

I
(In guys/girls)
- Eye colour: an uncommon color. not like blue or brown

- Hair Colour: dark

- Height: taller than me

- Clothing Style: stuff that shows their body off but looks gothic

- Characteristics: stuff i like. because that's too much to type

- Ice Cream: oreo

- Instrument: as long as they play

J
- Jewelry: only silver

- Job: i can has job that lets me stay at home prease?

K
- Kids: *srap* stfu bitch you cannot has a baroon

- Kickboxing or karate: whatever

- Keep a journal?: nah

L
- Longest Car Ride: going to nj

- Love: is hard to find

- Letter: idk

- Laughed so hard you cried: alot

- Love at first sight:

M
- Milk flavour: chocolate

- Movie: lots of them

- Mooned anyone?: hell yes

- Marriage: whatever

- Motion sickness?: sorta

- McD's or BK: McDonalds!!!!!

N
- Number of Siblings: 2

- Number of Piercings: two

- Number: OVER 9000! (lol john)

O
- Overused Phrases: for real

- One wish: to have a kitten

- One phobia: small spaces

P
- Place you'd like to live: medieval castle (HELL YEA JOHN!!!!!!!!!!)

- Pepsi/Coke: mmmmmmm mountain dew me

Q
- Quail: what about them?

- Questionnaires: what about them?

R
- Reason to cry: death?? idk

- Reality T.V.: "when did reality become tv?"

- Radio Station: 106.5,

- Roll your tongue in a circle?: yea

S
- Song: idk

- Shoe size: 10 or 11

- Sushi: i only like shrimp

- Skipped school: WAY too much

- Slept outside: yea

- Seen a dead body?: yes

- Smoked?: yea i want to stop but its so hard

- Skinny dipped?: yea

- Shower daily?: like every other day

- Sing well?: yea

- In the shower?: i used to have a lot of fun in the shower

- Swear?: fuck yes

- Stuffed Animals?: i love stuffed animals. they'... ]]> ~Yumiko-Amaya http://Yumiko-Amaya.deviantart.com/journal/23091527/ http://Yumiko-Amaya.deviantart.com/journal/23091527/ Sun, 08 Feb 2009 20:28:15 PST yes!

Tell me about the shirt you're wearing?
katie got it for me for x-mas! its so cool!

Whats currently bothering you right now?
the fact that there's no toilet up here

What are you currently hearing?
john and joe play killzone

When were you last outside?
couple hours ago

What was the first thing you thought this morning?
noooo!!!! i wanna go back to sleep!!!

Are you afraid of the dark?
nah

Who did you last say I love you to?
john!! and i mean it with all my heart!!

Have a best friend?
yep yep sure do!

Who texted you today?
erm.... no one i think

Who was the last person you had a phone conversation with for more than 2 minutes?
katie!!

Would you ever consider piercing your lip?
yea

Have you ever gotten a sunburn so bad it hurt to move?
yea

Do you toss & turn for hours at night or fall right to sleep?
mostly just lie there and fall asleep

Has anyone ever hung up on you?
yes

Do you have unlimited texting?
yes

Did you speak to your father today?
nope. don't want to either

How did you wake up this morning?
john got up

What were you doing at 7am?
sleeping

How have you felt today?
sick as fuck and depressed

Is there any emotion you're trying to avoid right now?
depression

Are you a forgiving person?
not really. it takes a lot to make me forgive you

What side of the bed do you sleep on?
the right side

Are your toenails painted pink?
never has been, never will be

Are you wearing shorts?
nope

Ever had a boy best friend?
yep

Do you think Chad Michael Murray is cute?
kinda

Last people in the car with?
john and joe

Do you straighten your hair often?
don't have to

What are you up to this weekend?
whatever

Do you hate the last guy you had a conversation with?
absolutely not. i love him!

Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you babe?
only john. otherwise its creepy

What is something you like to do when you're down?
call my sister or talk to john

Who do you text when you're having a bad day?
my sister

Were you happy when you woke up today?
meh

Last time you laughed?
earlier today

Do you regret anything from your past?
sorta kinda

Do you have a brother?
yes and i miss him terribly!!!

Who is the last person you physically hit?
mmmmmmmmmm..... idr

How many people of the opposite sex have made you cry?
not many

Are you missing anyone at the moment?
my brother... :'(

What was the last thing you and your mom talked about?
letting my brother stay out longer

Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?
oh absolutely!!

What classes do you not pay attention in at all?
i don't go to school anymore

]]> ~Yumiko-Amaya http://Yumiko-Amaya.deviantart.com/journal/22771537/ http://Yumiko-Amaya.deviantart.com/journal/22771537/ Fri, 23 Jan 2009 22:45:50 PST I committed suicide:
I said I liked you:
I kissed you:
I lived next door to you:
I started smoking:
I stole something:
I was hospitalized:
I ran away from home:
I got into a fight and you weren't there:

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT MY...
Personality:
Eyes:
Hair:
Family:

WOULD YOU...
Be my friend?:
Keep a secret if I told you one?:
Hold my hand?:
Take a bullet for me?:
Keep in touch?:
Try and solve my problems?:
Love me?:
Date me?:

HAVE YOU EVER...
Lied to make me feel better?:
Wanted to kiss me?:
Wanted to kill me?:
Broke my heart?:
Kept something important from me?:
Thought I was unbearably annoying?:

AND MORE...
1. Who are you?:
2. Are we friends?:
3. When and how did we meet?:
6. Describe me in one word.:
7. What was your first impression?:
8. Do you still think that way about me now?:
9. What reminds you of me?:
10. If you could give me anything what would it be?:
11. How well do you know me?:
12. When's the last time you saw me?:
13. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?:
14. Are you gonna paste this to your journal see what I say about you?

]]> ~Yumiko-Amaya http://Yumiko-Amaya.deviantart.com/journal/22587692/ http://Yumiko-Amaya.deviantart.com/journal/22587692/ Wed, 14 Jan 2009 22:37:04 PST I lie awake at night and just can't clear my head.
I'm just so sick of my problems, I want it all to end.
Someone (either my grandparents or the school) took me off the roll. Thanks guys, now I'm a high school drop out.
I got kicked out of my mom's house the other day. Now I'm homeless.
My grandparents won't leave me alone. I wouldn't be surprised if they tried to charge John with something since now he's 18 and I'm still 17. Although it wouldn't really matter. The age of consent is 16. Its still very frustrating.
I now need a job but have no way of transportation.
This sickness won't go away and if I'm exposed to anyone who is sick I get what they have.
When I turn 18, my Medicaid goes away and would therefore have to pay for every doctor visit and prescription. but I'd probably have a piece of shit job that barely paid minimum wage and wouldn't be able to pay for all that shit.
I don't even think that I can do that Adult High School shit anymore because you have to pay to do that, you need internet access, and a ride to get there.
Its like my whole fucking life is falling to pieces. I just want to cry. I don't know what to do or even who to turn to.
I even wish I could just throw my cigarettes out of the car window and not look back and never have another craving again. But we all know that's not going to happen!
Sometimes, I just want to blame everything on my father. Maybe if he hadn't left me, none of this would've happened and I'd still be in school right now and all that other shit.
Sometimes, I want to blame myself. If I would've just gave in to my stupid fucking grandparents, everything could've been okay.

You know those times where you just want to stand outside and scream at the top of your lungs?
Or just slip under the bathwater and not come back up?

I don't know. I'm just tired of being kicked around when I've already fallen to the floor. I mean, I try my hardest to do shit for everyone else and rarely anyone does anything nice for me.
I don't want to go back to therapy, because that didn't work before. Anti-depressant medicine doesn't work, or at least the ones I've taken. Apparently, talking doesn't make me feel any better!

I don't know what to do.
I feel so lost.

]]> ~Yumiko-Amaya http://Yumiko-Amaya.deviantart.com/journal/22548863/ http://Yumiko-Amaya.deviantart.com/journal/22548863/ Mon, 12 Jan 2009 17:40:37 PST I'd rate it a 9 on a scale 1-10.
I've already ordered the second book in the series.
There was sex, you guys. A lot of sex.
That's awesome.....
I highly recommend the series for all those who like Erotic Vampire Romance Novels!!!
Its really really good.


Dude. What sucks is I'm almost out of money on my gift cards. In other words, I'm probably going to be able to get one more book. :'(:'(:'(:'(:'(:'(:'(:'(:'(:'(:'(:'(

]]> ~Yumiko-Amaya http://Yumiko-Amaya.deviantart.com/journal/22410105/ http://Yumiko-Amaya.deviantart.com/journal/22410105/ Mon, 05 Jan 2009 08:40:58 PST The most recent one I've read is Live Girls. I do not have the book with me right now since I am at the Career Center right now with John. I'll edit the journal when I get back to John's later on today.
Anyway, I'm not going to rate it on a scale because I'm kind of lazy at the moment. But it was okay. It took a little bit too long to get to the point. I also don't think it was very creative. Crosses don't work. Water doesn't work. But guess what? Garlic works.
But if you're bored, I guess this book can entertain you for awhile. I started it when I was sick with strep. I never got to finish it until a couple days ago. I found it in John's room. Apparently, it belongs to his ex girlfriend, Victoria. So, Victoria, if you want it back please remind me!
So my "rating" for Live Girls is, meh.


I just ordered a book called Dark Lover. If you've read it send me a note on what you think about it if you want but please don't tell me anything that happens or any hints. That annoys me. Anyway, it looked a little interesting and the cover caught my eye. The website said the expected shipping date is the 7th. I can't wait until it arrives!

]]> ~Yumiko-Amaya http://Yumiko-Amaya.deviantart.com/journal/22212084/ http://Yumiko-Amaya.deviantart.com/journal/22212084/ Fri, 26 Dec 2008 15:20:49 PST
[] I shop at Abercrombie, Hollister, American Eagle, or Aerospatiale.
[x] I am/was a cheerleader.
[] I'm pretty ditzy.
[] I wear pink 24/7.
[] My looks are very important to me.
[x] I can’t live without my cell phone.
[x] My hair is always straight. (there isn't anything else to do with it)
[x] I say 'like' and 'omigod' a lot.
[] I laugh 24/7.
[] I have a million friends.
[] I always hang at the mall or movies.
[] I'll only date popular guys.
[/] I listen to rap & pop music. (like icp and shit)
[] I have at least one designer bag. (If I do, I don’t know about it)
[] My myspace pics are of me making a kissy face or are mirror pics
[] It takes me at least an hour to get ready for school in the mornings.
[] Uggs + Miniskirts = Love
[x] I don't have a job
[] I wear lots of makeup.
[] I can be stuck up or snobby sometimes.
[] I flirt with any guy, as long as he's cute.
Total = 5.5

Emo

[] I cry a lot.
[] I go to local shows.
[x] I wear black everyday.
[x] I write sad poetry. (i have a reason)
[x] I play an acoustic guitar. (i have an electric too)
[/] My favorite bands include: Fall Out Boy, My Chemical Romance, or Panic! at the Disco. (i like my chemical romance and some panic)
[] I self mutilate myself.
[] I think about suicide or death often.
[x] People have told me to cheer up.
[] I cry when I see dead animals.
[] My myspace pics are black are white or angled.
[x] I wear many band shirts.
[] No one understands me.
[] I don't talk too often.
[] I look down when I walk.
[X] I wear black eyeliner.
[] My fingernails are black.
[] I have an ex I still cry over.
[] My hair is black.
[] My hair covers one of my eyes.
[x] I love Hot Topic.
[] I always say 'life sucks'.
Total = 7.5

Nerd

[] I have straight A's.
[/] I wear glasses. (i'm supposed to, but don't. i can't find them )
[] I always do my homework and study.
[x] Lord of the Rings was a massive achievement.
[x] Computer games = Love.
[] I'm 'teachers pet'.
[] I've never had a real boyfriend/girlfriend.
[] I have a bedtime.
[] I use an asthma inhaler.
[] I carry a calculator with me.
[x] I bring my lunch to school.
[] I always follow the rules.
[] I'm shy around the opposite sex.
[x] I'm always on the computer.
[] I've never had beer or cigarettes.
[] I always answer every question in class right.
[x] I correct people's grammar.
[x] I read a lot.
[] School is very important to me.
[] I always stump people.
Total = 6.5

Rebel

[x] I always speak my mind.
[x] I have 0% of school spirit.
[x] Forget you I won't do what you tell me!
[x] I stand up for what I think is right.
[] On spirit days at school, I wear the rebel's colors.
[/]Whenever people are doing something, I do the complete opposite.
[X] I won't listen to authority figures.
[/] I always break the rules.
[/] I refuse to compromise.
[/] I'm always arguing with people.
[X] I love debate.
[] I always do what's unexpected of me.
[x] I don't give a crap what people think of me.
[X] If I watch a crappy movie in theaters, right after it's over, I'll say 'that sucked'.
[x] I'm not afraid to trash people's opinions.
[] I only respect my own beliefs.
[] If I don't want to do something, I won't do it, no matter what.
[] I laugh at compromising people.
[] I cheer on the rival's sport team to stand out. (fuck sports)
[] Rules were meant to be broken.
Total = 11

Jock

[] I'm on one or more sport teams.
[] I always wear my varsity jacket.
[] I've won awards for my athletic ability.
[] I will only date popular girls/guys.
[] School Spirit 100%.
[] I'm going to a college for sports.
[] I watch sports on TV all the time.
[] I'm muscular.
[] I play sports or exercise at least 3 hours a day.
[] Go Team!
[] I'm a chick/dude magnet.
[] I eat a lot.
[] I'm egotistical.
[] I'm too focused on sports to make really good grades.
[] I sit at the jock lunch table.
[] All I talk about with my friends is sports.
[] I go to lots of sports games.
[] I'm very athletic
[] I wear sport inspired clothing.
[] I play at least 3 different sports.
Total = 0

Comedian

[] I'm very funny.
[x] I'm always making jokes.
[/] I interrupt class by making people laugh. (depends on the class)
[x] I always entertain people by being funny.
[] I worship Kevin Smith.
... ]]> ~Yumiko-Amaya http://Yumiko-Amaya.deviantart.com/journal/22154178/ http://Yumiko-Amaya.deviantart.com/journal/22154178/ Wed, 24 Dec 2008 01:03:54 PST
sometimes i want: to be alone

sometimes i like to: scream

sometimes all it takes: time

sometimes i picture: a graveyard

sometimes i wish: that things were easier

sometimes i find: that i am everyones therapist, but therapy doesn't work for me

sometimes i take: all the time in the world

sometimes i look: up to the skies

sometimes i hate: moving forward

sometimes it’s nice: to stare out the window

sometimes it hurts: when you realize that its only getting worse

sometimes it makes me happy: when all those phone call cease

sometimes it’s sad: that i help everyone, but few people help me

sometimes i listen: to my friends problems

sometimes i sleep: and dream of a quiet place

sometimes i like to watch: sky when know is around because its pretty

sometimes i feel: helpless

sometimes i rant: about my problems

sometimes i never: think about the future, past, or present.

sometimes i really: am happy

When I’m ..

sad, i want: to be in his arms

happy, i need: to laugh

mad, i wish: i could throw myself against the wall

overjoyed, i find: there is happiness in the world

indifferent, i like to: idk

content, i never: idk

frustrated, all it takes: is one wrong move

If..

you saw your best friend on one side of the road, but you also saw one of your close family members on the other side, and they were both in serious danger, who would you go to help first? depends on who the family member is

you had the choice of going back in time to or go forward in time to see the future, which would you choose? neither

jesus was standing right infront of you, what would you say to him? "Why won't you help me?"

]]> ~Yumiko-Amaya http://Yumiko-Amaya.deviantart.com/journal/21667046/ http://Yumiko-Amaya.deviantart.com/journal/21667046/ Tue, 25 Nov 2008 16:06:58 PST My sinuses are stuffed.
My nose is stuffed.
I has a cough.

WHY CAN'T MY BODY WORK RIGHT FOR ONCE??????
*growls*

I went to school today. For a half day. There was a guest speaker for seniors who have senior english or something. I don't know. I went anyway. I got some math makeup work from my tech math 1 class. I need to get some from my tech math 2 class and my other science class. Mansfield didn't give me anything but some sheet of paper that describes the 2nd quarter project which I probably won't do until the night before its due.

]]> ~Yumiko-Amaya http://Yumiko-Amaya.deviantart.com/journal/21600011/ http://Yumiko-Amaya.deviantart.com/journal/21600011/ Fri, 21 Nov 2008 15:46:46 PST john and billy

2 You texted?
my phone is out of minutes so i've no idea

3 You were in a car with?
john and billy

4 Went to the movies with?
john and colby.

5 Went to the mall with?
idr

6 Person you talked on the phone with?
john

8 You messaged on DA?
i think loken

9 You talked to?
John

10 Watched a movie at home with?
birry!

11 You miss?
john *turns around* nevermind.


T/F Answer with True or False!
Q: Like someone?
T

Q: Kissed your friend?
T

Q: Been arrested?
F

Q: Been searched?
T

Q: Sat on a roof top?
T

Q: Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on?
T

Q: Have shaved your head?
F

Q: Played a prank on someone?
T

Q: Had/have a gym membership?
T

Q: Shot a gun?
T

Q: Donated Blood?
F

WOULD YOU RATHER

1 Eat or drink?
Drink

2 Be serious or be funny?
Funny


3 Eat out or at home?
Eat in. i hate people.


4 Die in a fire or die getting shot?
Die getting Shot

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY

1 Sun or moon?
moon

2 Winter or fall?
Winter

3 Left or right?
Right


4 Where do you live?
Hell!

5 Do you wanna get married?
maybe someday


IN THE LAST WEEK HAVE YOU

1 Kissed someone?
yes. i kissed john like two minutes ago because he said if he and i ever get rich, he's buying me a full scale model of the black pearl!!!!!!!!!! he's awesome isn't he? that's another reason why i love him. shit like that.

2 Been hugged by someone?
yup

3 Been poked by someone?
yup

-----------

Do you usually eat while on the computer?
yup


What does your last text say?
idr

What would you do if you answered the door, and it was Lil Wayne?
ask him for money


Are you looking forward to the twilight movie?
idk


Do you eat healthy?
pfft yeah right


Have you ever illegally drove?
who hasn't


Are you a pill popper?
nah


Why are you sad?
teh fuck? i'm not sad, but i'm not happy either.


Have you ever been cheated on?
yes


If so, did you/they apologize?
nope.

Are you a fan of iced coffee?
its ok.


Whose computer are you on?
john's


Name everwhere youve been today:
my house, mcdonald's, john's house.


Should you be doing your homework right now?
i should be doing some make up work right now.


Last movie seen in theater?
saw five

Biggest rollercoaster you've ever ridden?
idk... but i've been to carowinds a lot. so what ever the biggest one there is.


Who'd you go trick or treating with this year?
john and rasin


Do you hate fat people?
they're fun to hug


Whats your biggest turn off?
colby


How do you like your milk?
refrigerated?


Last person you beat the crap out of?
birry!


Who do you think is going to take this survey after you?
idk


Is your brother a fag?
i call him a fag. but as far as i know he isn't.


Know anyone who's locked up?
probably


Whose moms numbers do you have?
johns. kayla yorks. and someone else's



Least favorite jonas brother?
all of them

Is there someone that you believe you will always be attracted to?
john


Does anything hurt on your body?
my back


Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?
probably john or birry

Would you forgive a cheater?
absolutely not.


Do you wear your feelings all over your face?
john says i do.


Do you think you'll be married in 10 years?
idk idc

Who was the last person you cried in front of?
idk

Where were you at 2:02 this morning?
my house chilling with birry


Who was the last person besides family that you saw in person?
john and birry


Honestly, what would you rather be doing right now?
idk


Have you ever been called a bitch?
yup


What's your favorite movie?
the crow, nightmare before christmas, the craft, who framed roger rabbit, a... ]]> ~Yumiko-Amaya http://Yumiko-Amaya.deviantart.com/journal/21536370/ http://Yumiko-Amaya.deviantart.com/journal/21536370/ Mon, 17 Nov 2008 15:02:15 PST If it matters, I am on my period currently and I do have stomach problems but have never puked up blood before.
If anyone can help me, please be kind and comment back or send me a note. I'd like to know what the fuck is wrong with me!


The only cool thing is, that I had Billy call John. He came over right away and I blew my puke breath right up his nose. If it didn't hurt to laugh, I would've.

]]> ~Yumiko-Amaya http://Yumiko-Amaya.deviantart.com/journal/21487509/ http://Yumiko-Amaya.deviantart.com/journal/21487509/ Fri, 14 Nov 2008 15:50:16 PST My ears hurt.
They keep pussing and bleeding.
I can't even lay on them because they hurt.
I cleaned them last night with rubbing alcohol.
My ears burned afterwards.

Any advice from anyone?

]]> ~Yumiko-Amaya http://Yumiko-Amaya.deviantart.com/journal/21406302/ http://Yumiko-Amaya.deviantart.com/journal/21406302/ Sun, 09 Nov 2008 14:11:43 PST 002. Nickname → Kayra, Yumiko-Amaya, Kay
003. Status → i have to shit
004. Zodiac sign → Gemini
005. Male or female → Female
006. Elementary → Complete
007. Middle School → Complete
008. High School → almost done.
009. Smart → sure
010. Hair color → Dark Brown/Red
011. Long or short → sadly, short
012. Loud or Quiet → I'm loud when I'm being fucked, I'm quiet when there are many people around me
013. Sweats or Jeans → jeans
014. Phone or Camera → i like both
015. Health freak → nope
016. Drink or Smoke? → don't drink except for new years and i smoke but i'm trying very hard to quit.
017. Do you have a crush on someone? no
018. Eat or Drink → drink
019. Piercings → gauges in each ear.
020. Tattoos → i will have one on May 30th of 2009

FIRSTS:
023. First piercing → ears
024. First best friend → idr
026. First crush → some kid in preschool
027. First pet → puppy or a fish
028. First big vacation → probably the beach
030. First big birthday → no big birthdays yet

CURRENTLY:
049. Eating → nothing
050. Drinking → cheerwine
052. I'm about to → turn into an icicle
053. Listening to → fixation by the darkness - killswitch engage
054. Plans for today → nothing yet

YOUR FUTURE:
058. Want kids? → not really, thanks.
059. Want to get married? → sure
060. Careers in mind → professional singer.

WHICH IS BETTER WITH GIRL/BOY?
068. Lips or eyes → eyes
070. Shorter or taller? → taller
072. Romantic or spontaneous → both
073. Nice stomach or nice arms → both
074. Sensitive or loud → idc
075. Hook-up or relationship → Relationship
077. Trouble maker or hesitant → idc

HAVE YOU EVER:
080. Lost glasses/contacts → yes
081. Ran away from home → yes
084. Broken someones heart → yes
085. Been arrested → almost plenty of times
087. Cried when someone died → yeah

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
089. Yourself → i do exist you know
090. Miracles → i just thought of the song.
091. Love at first sight → yes
092. Heaven → nah
093. Santa Claus → nope
094. Sex on the first date → not really
095. Kiss on the first date → yes

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
097. Is there one person you want to be with right now → yep. *turns around* oh look, there he is
098. Are you seriously happy with where you are in life → mmmm, its okay.
099. Do you believe in God? no
100. Post as 100 truths and tag → ....mmm.. i don't wanna.

]]> ~Yumiko-Amaya http://Yumiko-Amaya.deviantart.com/journal/20816072/ http://Yumiko-Amaya.deviantart.com/journal/20816072/ Fri, 03 Oct 2008 21:01:51 PDT
Nice, Love is one of a kind, Lover not a fighter, but will still knock you the fuck out, Trustworthy, Always happy, Loud, Talkative, can be shy, knows how to have fun, Outgoing, VERY FORGIVING, AMAZING in Bed, Loves to make out, Has a beautiful smile and eyes, Generous, Strong, ULTRA SEXY, THE MOST IRRESISTIBLE

------------------------------------------------


-S • C • O • R • P • I • O: Cute Ass

Can be mean sometimes, and will Probably knock your ass out, if crossed the wrong way!! EXTREMELY sexy
Intelligent, Energetic, Predict future, Most erotic, Freak in bed, GREAT kisser, Always get what they want, Creative, Very Down to Earth, Sexy, Attractive, Easy going, Loves being in long relationships, Talkative, The sexiest ever; Romantic, Caring & 4 years of bad luck if you do not repost this!



-V • I • R • G • O: The Freak

Dominant in relationships, Sexy, Someone loves them right now, Freak in bed, Always wants the last word, Caring, Smart, Intellectual, Attractive, Loyal, Easy to talk to, Hard to forget, Love at first sight, Everything you ever wanted, Easy to please, The one and only, Ultimate sexiness; Great kisser & 7 years of bad luck if you do not repost!



-L • I • B • R • A • : Passionate

Very pretty, Very romantic, Nice to everyone they meet, Their Love is one of a kind, Silly, Fun, Sweet, Have their own unique sexiness, Most caring person you will ever meet! AMAZING IN BED! Spontanious, Neat, Addicted and loyal to their friends, Not the kind of person you wanna fuck with You might end up crying; The most irresistible, Strong, Powerful, EXTREMELY PASSIONATE! Rare to find, A great kisser, Incredibly intelligent, Most Libras are deep-thinkers, Outgoing, Lovable, Corky, Crazy, A fun-lover, Funny, Talkative, Erotic, Sexy, Smart, LOVES sports, Gets what he/she wants, Loves to be in a relationship BUT, is completely happy and free if single & 9 years of bad luck if you do not repost!




-A • R • I • E • S: The Sexiest

Outgoing, Lovable, Spontaneous, Not one to fuck with, Erotic, Funny, Take you on trips to the moon in bed, Excellent kisser EXTREMELY sexy, Loves being in long relationships, Addictive, Loud, BEST IN BED & 16 years of bad luck if you do not repost!



-A • Q • U • A • R • I • U • S : The Strongest

Trustworthy, Sexy, professional kissers, One of a kind, Loves being in long-term relationships, Extremely energetic and funny, Unpredictable, Will exceed your expectations, Loves music, Not a Fighter, But will Knock the fuck out of u, The BEST and BIGGEST FREAK in bed, Strong, Considered to be a "Spartan" The most intelligent, falls in love too easily, Doesn't show it but is easy to hurt, Perfect! & 2 years of bad luck if you do not repost!



-G • E • M • I • N • I: Sexy

Nice, Love is one of a kind, Lover not a fighter, but will still knock you the fuck out, Trustworthy, Always happy, Loud, Talkative, can be shy, knows how to have fun, Outgoing, VERY FORGIVING, AMAZING in Bed, Loves to make out, Has a beautiful smile and eyes, Generous, Strong, ULTRA SEXY, THE MOST IRRESISTIBLE & 9 years of bad luck if you do not repost!


-L • E • O: Wild in Bed

Great talker, Sexy and passionate, Laid back, Knows how to have fun, Is really good at a lot, Great kisser, Unpredictable, Outgoing, Down to earth, Loyal, Addictive, Attractive, Loud, Loves being in long relationships, Talkative, Not one to mess with, Rare to find, Great when found & 7 years of bad luck if you do not repost!


-C • A • N • C • E • R: Most Amazing Kisser

Very high sex appeal, Great in bed, Love is one of a kind, Very romantic, Most caring person you will ever meet, Entirely creative, Extremely random and proud of it, Freak in bed, Spontaneous, Great telling stories, Not a Fighter, But will Knock your lights out if it comes down to it, Someone you should hold on to & 12 years of bad luck if you do not repost!



-P • I • S • C • E • S: The Piece of good ass
Caring and kind , Smart Center of attention, Too Sexy, Very high SEX appeal, Has the last word The nicest ass everr The best to find hardest to keep, Fun to be around, Freak in the sheets, Extremely weird but in a good way, Super good in bed, Good Sense of Humor, Thoughtful, A partner for life(, Always gets what he or she wants, Loves to joke, Very popular, Silly, fun and sweet(& 5 years of bad luck if you do not repost!



-C • A • P • R • I • C • O • R • N: THE BEST IN BED

Loves being in long relationships, Great talker, Always Love to bust, Nice, Sassy, Intelligent, SEXY, Predict future, Irresistible, AWESOME KISSER, gets what he or she wants, BY FAR the BEST in BED, Very sexy, Co... ]]> ~Yumiko-Amaya http://Yumiko-Amaya.deviantart.com/journal/20780943/ http://Yumiko-Amaya.deviantart.com/journal/20780943/ Wed, 01 Oct 2008 17:01:39 PDT 1. Be a famous metal singer
2. Sell a painting or poem and get known from it
3. Do something incredibly dangerous.

Three names I go by:
1. Kayla
2. Kayra
3. Yumiko-Amaya

Three screen names I have had:
1. Yumiko-Amaya
2. bloodydagger27
3. fridaygc27

Three physical things I like about myself:
1. My eyes
2. My tits
3. How tall I am

Three parts of my heritage:
1. Cherokee
2. German
3. Irish

Three things that scare me:
1. Past
2. Present
3. Future

Three of my everyday essantials:
1. School
2. Internet
3. Cigarettes

Three things I am wearing right now:
1. Long sleeved AC/DC shirt
2. Led Zeppelin pajama pants
3. John

Three of my favorite bands/musical arts:
1. Evanescence
2. Abandoned Bliss (lol ily john)
3. ICP

Three of my favorite songs:
1. Lithium by Evanescence
2. Piece of Mind by Abandoned Bliss
3. In my room by ICP

Three things I want in a relationship:
1. Compassion
2. Honesty
3. Intimacy

Two truths an one lie about myself:
1. I like to sing.
2. I hate my past.
3. I love photography.

Three things about the preferred gender that appeal to me:
1. Eyes
2. Smile
3. Personality

Three of my favorite hobbies:
1. Singing
2. Going on the Internet
3. Artistic/musical shit

Three things I want to do really badly right now:
1. GET BETTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2. Sleep.
3. Watch a movie and cuddle to keep warm.

Three careers I'm considering/I considered:
1. Something musical
2. Something artistic
3. .....A cashier if nothing else I guess. I don't have any other things at the current moment.

Three places I want to go on vacation:
1. Germany
2. Amsterdam
3. ....And I can't think of anything else.

Three kids names I like:
1. I
2. DON'T WANT
3. KIDS

Three ways that I am stereotypically a girl:
1. I have big tits and a vagina.
2. The way my voice sounds.
3. The way I act or think I guess.

Three ways that I am stereotypically a boy:
1. . . .
2. . . .
3. . . .

Three things I am most afraid of:
1. The Past returning
2. Not getting anywhere in life
3. Rejection

]]> ~Yumiko-Amaya http://Yumiko-Amaya.deviantart.com/journal/20615819/ http://Yumiko-Amaya.deviantart.com/journal/20615819/ Mon, 22 Sep 2008 08:21:18 PDT I'm sitting in the computer lab at school right now, waiting for the lunch bell to ring.
The medicine that the doctors have given me isn't working that well anymore. Plus, it makes me want to puke. Not. Fun.

In other news, I've been sleeping at my mom's house since Friday night, I think. I've been trying to earn my stay by cleaning up. I picked up a bunch of trash from the living room. I still need to vaccuum that. I also cleaned half of the kitchen. Yes, that's how dirty it was. i could only clean half in one day. John and I emptied out all the cabinets. There was old food everywhere. Like some foods have been there since 2004! We also cleaned out the fridge and got all the old food out of there. We went food shopping with her food stamps card (with her permission) so she now has new food. I still have to do the dishes that has accumulated in the sink. I have to actually scrub all this shit out of the cups and off of the plates. I have no idea what's on it, but it has to go. I have to clean the counters and find places for all this worthless stuff that doesn't even belong in the kitchen. Then, I have to clean up the other bedroom. I won't go in there alone, so hopefully John will help me with that tomorrow. The bed in there needs sheets, too. I, then, have to clean up the bathroom. That's going to be fun. Then I clean my mom's bedroom. That should be even more fun. Then I clean her bathroom. After all that, I vaccuum the entire house and mop the tiled floors.
I'm doing all this because my grandparenst say that I wouldn't help my mother. Well, I'm going to prove them wrong by cleaning the house with some help from John, hopefully. I just don't want to be with my grandparents anymore. I don't think they want me there anymore though so if I could only prove that I'd help out, maybe they'd allow it. They have major control issues if you haven't noticed yet. I just hope this works. . .

]]> ~Yumiko-Amaya http://Yumiko-Amaya.deviantart.com/journal/20556686/ http://Yumiko-Amaya.deviantart.com/journal/20556686/ Thu, 18 Sep 2008 16:58:54 PDT
2. Where do you usually sleep? Describe this place.
hell.

3. Where is the most unusual place you have ever slept?
back porch

4. How much do you enjoy sleeping, on a scale of 1 to 100? 100......thousand.

5. Who do you sleep with?
sometimes with john. sometimes alone

6. What do you sleep with?
...........blankets and a pillow?

7. Do you have a bedtime?
yeah, whenever i fall asleep.

8. How about a naptime?
did that a lot today. not feeling good.

9. How long has it been since you've taken a nap?
.........a ..... couple of hours.....

10. Do you need a nap?
i feel exhausted. but i want to stay up so i can be with john. yeah. he's gonna kill me after he reads this.

11. What do you love most about sleeping?
NO. PEOPLE.

12. Some people require certain things to happen before they can sleep. What do you require?
apparently, i have to fall asleep on my back. then for the rest of my night, i sleep on my side.

13. How long was the longest amount of time you have gone without sleeping?
errr..... i think two or three days.

14. Why do you sleep?
to get away from the world.

15. How many hours do you usually sleep in a night without waking up?
school night? about 8.
weekends? as much as i can.

16. Do you dream? What about?
murder. past experiences. future problems. whats happening now. fears.

17. In what position do you usually sleep?
explained a couple of questions up

18. Do you classify yourself as an insomniac?
it IS hard for me to sleep. i usually wake up a lot during the night. its hard for me to fall asleep. its hard for me to stay asleep. and some nights, i don't sleep at all. what do you think?

19. What's the latest you've ever stayed up before going to sleep?
an hour before i had to get up.

20. What's the longest amount of time you've been asleep without waking up?
idk. its been a long time since thats happened.

21. Are you a somnambulist? (Sleepwalker.)
once i did sleepwalk. but it was almost like i was awake. if you want to know the story just send me a note.

22. Which do you have more often - nightmares or normal dreams? (Optional to answer.)
nightmares

23. Which do you have more often - nightmares or night terrors (Which are nightmares except with real, explicit reactions - screaming, yelling, crying, talking, and sometimes, the victim will wake and literally run, trying to escape whatever they believe is after them.)? (Optional to answer.)
i have nightmares more often now. but the night terrors are catching up with them. i walk around. and scream. trying desperately to get away from someone. some of you know what i'm talking about.

24. Have you ever cried yourself to sleep?
yes

25. How long after waking up do you really wake up?
lets see, i wake up at seven thirty.
i'm really awake by lunch time.

26. Do you snore or talk in your sleep? Or both?
i talk sometimes.

27. Do you have to be lying down to sleep?
no

28. Can you sleep with your eyes open?
no

29. Name some things that put you to sleep or make you exhausted enough to go to sleep.
boredom.
people massaging me.
etc etc.

30. What helps you sleep?
music.

31. Are you sleepy now?
yes

32. How many pillows do you sleep with?
1-2

33. Can you sleep with the light on or does it have to be off? Or does it matter?
doesn't matter if I'm tired

34. Where would be the ideal place for you to sleep?
in my bed or in johns arms

35. Describe your dream bed.
memory foam.
and john naked beside me.
oh look. that's happened.

36. Has counting sheep ever worked for you?
no... it keeps me awake.

37. Do you have a nightly ritual?
shower, brush my hair, plug in my phone and mp3 player.

38. Can you sleep with background noise?
it its soft music

39. Do you ever wish your body didn't require sleep?
no

40. If you could choose to dream about something, what would you choose to dream about?
idk..



So John's mom says I have tonsilitis which I apparently spelled wrong. It actually explains a lot. He made me sleep. Which made me feel a lot better. But I have to go to the doctor tomorrow. Yay. Cold people touching my neck. If she hurts me, I'm gonna touch her neck.... and squeeze... as hard... as I possibly can.....
damn doctors...

]]> ~Yumiko-Amaya http://Yumiko-Amaya.deviantart.com/journal/20548762/ http://Yumiko-Amaya.deviantart.com/journal/20548762/ Thu, 18 Sep 2008 06:40:19 PDT doing crap.
that nobody cares about.
someone message me if you're on:
bloodydagger27@yahoo.com

]]> ~Yumiko-Amaya http://Yumiko-Amaya.deviantart.com/journal/20419873/ http://Yumiko-Amaya.deviantart.com/journal/20419873/ Wed, 10 Sep 2008 09:04:53 PDT I got three filled last week.
I had three filled today.
My mouth is completely numb.
And for some reason, so is my tongue.

I dyed my hair again.
I really just want it to be a natural red.
Some doctors wonder why I wasn't a redhead in the first place. I have irish in me. They also wonder why I don't have brown eyes. It is a dominant trait and my father had it.

I also got my nose pierced.
It fell out last night, but I got it back in.
THAT hurt like a bitch.

Yes, to clear it all up. I DID run away. I don't want to talk about why I did so don't ask.

I'm here at home, waiting for John to come pick me up to take me to school. There are a bunch of mexicans outside my window for some reason. I hear machinery but I'm not even going to peek out the window to see what's going on. I kind of don't want them knowing there's a seventeen year old girl in the house. Call me paranoid or whatever, but hey, better safe than sorry, right?

So the novacaine is wearing off. . .
I can feel the pain in my teeth. . .
Ah well, its better than being so numb you can't even light a damn cigarette and you have to get Colby to do it. I'm hoping to be able to smoke on the way to school when John gets me. But I also think its a bad idea. Because I'll be craving during the middle of school. Well, it's not like I don't already, but it might be worse. So I don't know. I might do it anyway.
If I can find a lighter. . .

So I got John into this site called bitefight. Its really cool. You all need to copy and paste this link and check it out: [link]
Trust me, its cool. JOHN is addicted to it. I've also got him doing myspace apps. I've created a fucking monster. . .

Well, since I have nothing better to do. I've been playing with the myspace apps and bitefight all day.
I think I'll go back to that!

]]> ~Yumiko-Amaya http://Yumiko-Amaya.deviantart.com/journal/20238246/ http://Yumiko-Amaya.deviantart.com/journal/20238246/ Sat, 30 Aug 2008 15:13:39 PDT





]]> ~Yumiko-Amaya http://Yumiko-Amaya.deviantart.com/journal/19977667/ http://Yumiko-Amaya.deviantart.com/journal/19977667/ Fri, 15 Aug 2008 20:40:22 PDT 2nd period: App. Devel. 2 - Greene
3rd period: English 4 - Hilton
4th period: Art 2 - Eliis
5th period: Tech math 1 - Koesters
6th period: Tech math 2 - Richardson
7th period: Physical Science - Zielinski



So ya.
I know I'm taking two maths. It's because I only have two math credits. I failed one year. And yes, I also know about the two science classes. I failed first semester of Physical in sophomore year and I have to make it up. Although, I'm supposed to only have the first semester. Hopefully, my guidance counselor will fix this problem. She said it might happen anyway. Let's just hope I don't have to take two semesters of that class again. . . In sophomore year, I had Langley. She's cool and all, but she teaches too fast. Ah, well. . .

]]> ~Yumiko-Amaya http://Yumiko-Amaya.deviantart.com/journal/19843489/ http://Yumiko-Amaya.deviantart.com/journal/19843489/ Fri, 08 Aug 2008 10:50:01 PDT Go to Google and type in your first name and the phrase. Copy and paste the first sentence/phrase you get that makes sense.

Q: Type in "[your name] needs" in the Google search.
A: Kayla needs a straight jacket

Q: Type in "[your name] looks like" in Google search.
A: Kayla looks like maybe the funniest person alive

Q: Type in "[your name] says" in Google search.
A: Kayla says GO KINGS! (wtf?)

Q: Type in "[your name] wants" in Google search.
A: Kayla wants a divorce (lol wtf?)

Q: Type in "[your name] does" in Google search.
A: Kayla does karoke at 16 months

Q: Type in "[your name] hates" in Google search.
A: Kayla hates spiders (wtf no i most certainly do not!)

Q: Type in "[your name] asks" in Google search.
A: Kayla asks steve and marcus to testify.

Q: Type in "[your name] goes" in Google search.
A: Kayla goes into labor (ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!)

Q: Type in "[your name] likes " in Google search.
A: Kayla likes cherry better

Q: Type in "[your name] eats " in Google search.
A: Kayla eats a raw egg

Q: Type in "[your name] wears " in Google search.
A: Kayla wears prada. (i think my skin would burn honestly)

]]> ~Yumiko-Amaya http://Yumiko-Amaya.deviantart.com/journal/19817084/ http://Yumiko-Amaya.deviantart.com/journal/19817084/ Wed, 06 Aug 2008 21:30:59 PDT
It's harder than it looks! . *Use the 1st letter of your last name to answer each of the following... *they have to be real places, names, things...nothing made up! Try to use different answers if the person in front of you had the same 1st initial. (WHICH BY THE WAY IS HARD IF YOU ALREADY READ THEIR ANSWERS) You CAN'T use your name for the boy/girl..You can only use an answer 1 time!

1) What is your last name ?
Dean

2) 4 letter word:
Dick


3) Vehicle:
Dodge

4) City, State or county:
Delaware

5) Boy Name:
Dean!

6) Girl Name:
Denise

7) Occupation:
Dentist

8) Something you wear:
Diamond Ring

9) Food:
Donut

10) Found in a bathroom:
Door

11) Reason for Being Late:
Damn traffic! lol idk if that counts


12) Something you shout:
DAMM YOU!


13) Animal:
Dog

14) Word to describe you:
Devilish

]]> ~Yumiko-Amaya