http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:Zakuyoe&section=today deviantART RSS for by:Zakuyoe en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Thu, 10 Dec 2009 12:56:27 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://Zakuyoe.deviantart.com/journal/18986237/ http://Zakuyoe.deviantart.com/journal/18986237/ Sun, 22 Jun 2008 16:01:44 PDT 50 messages

I'm really terrible at having two dA accounts....

]]> ~Zakuyoe http://Zakuyoe.deviantart.com/journal/17729892/ http://Zakuyoe.deviantart.com/journal/17729892/ Mon, 07 Apr 2008 11:01:56 PDT 148 deviations.


Shows how much i sign in.

]]> ~Zakuyoe http://Zakuyoe.deviantart.com/journal/15451123/ http://Zakuyoe.deviantart.com/journal/15451123/ Sat, 10 Nov 2007 15:22:03 PST
A was the Anonymous letters he wished to send. Written in pencil, folded with imperfection, hastily handed over whenever chance blew his way. Yet feelings were feelings, whether presented in words or with a lack of beauty.

B was the Burning feeling in his stomach whenever they met. Every smile, every touch, every word spoken; they all triggered happiness and torture within him. Yet feelings were feelings, whether handed on a silver platter or on a burning slab.

C was the Closure he lacked. They met and left; they would never speak of the matter; they would pretend nothing took place. Yet feelings were feelings, whether discussed in person or spoken in silence.

D was the Doom he knew would come. He walked willingly to it, and in the days of the aftermath he wished he hadn't. Feelings were feelings, whether lost in the anticipation of happiness or the anticipation of demise.

E was the Everyday things that drove him mad. Their deal was clear, in that relations between them would continue as nothing had happened; but even the simplest things made it hard to keep to his part of the bargain. Yet feelings were feelings, whether forced to keeping a friendship or keeping sanity.

F was the Forgetfulness he wished he had. To forget pains, to forget ties that were binding him to a person who both pleased him yet tortured him. But feelings were feelings, whether they aided a clearer horizon or a imminent crucifixion.

G was the Gestures of kindness he was given. Actions toward a better future for the both, but they only made him wish he could be loved in that same manner. Yet feelings were feelings, whether in friendship or romance.

H was the Horror he had downed long ago. Complacent to the outside world, but horrified, scared and alone on the inside. And feelings were feelings, whether kept to oneself or shared for all.

I was the Individual he lacked. He depended on others; his happiness was their happiness; he did things so others would be blind to his unhappiness. Yet feelings were feelings, whether he stood amidst a crowd or alone atop a scaffold

J was the Just agreement of theirs. It was fair to him, to that person, and to that person's person; and there was nothing he could do that would satisfy all three. And so he'd do only to please the other two, for he was not deserving of the benefit of the situation. Yet feelings were feelings, whether given in reward or in punishment.

K was the Kill that had murdered him. The day he couldn't keep his mouth shut, the day the world stopped turning, the day their agreement was born; that day was the murderer and the thief. Yet feelings were feelings, whether given by accident or sneaked in with full intention.

L was the Love he hid, the love he would hide. He would not stop; there would be no reason to stop loving someone he truly loved just because the receiver was aware. Feelings were feelings, whether accepted or rejected.

M was the Moon that he watched with each passing night, the moon that characterized his will and hope. He knew he was doomed, yet there was always that glimmering star, that ray of moonlight that would convince him he would conquer. Feelings were feelings, whether held close at heart or faraway with the wishes of the stars.

N was the Name he associated everything with. Each word sounding remotely alike, each person sharing that same calling, each identity with a similar resemblance; they all brought his mind back to that face, that smile. But feelings were feelings, whether represented in nostalgic reminders or in associations uncalled for.

O was the Opaqueness of his character. He wanted none to see him for the weaker person he was on the inside; he wanted to stay strong, to never let anyone see him cry. But feelings were feelings, whether their holder kept them safely or foolishly.

P was the Person he wish he were. Sometimes he wanted to be that person, just so he knew what it was like to be loved by someone you wanted to love you. Feelings were feelings, whether in a painful reality or a blissful imagination.

Q was the Questions he would never get answered. Why not him? Why would this remain untold? Why would he always have to be the third? And why would feelings still be feelings, whether to the despondent ones to the object of desire or to the jealous ones to the person he wished he were?

R was the Rain that soaked him, the rain of fault, error and guilt he deserved to be drenched in. If he had only kept his mouth shut, things would have been fine between the two of them. Still, feelings were feelings, whether living in the aftermath of a mistake or in the beautiful past.

S was the Suffering that sealed him. He would not let others know he was suffering, nor would he l... ]]> ~Zakuyoe http://Zakuyoe.deviantart.com/journal/14351604/ http://Zakuyoe.deviantart.com/journal/14351604/ Sun, 26 Aug 2007 15:34:27 PDT
DR. PHIL:
The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on "THIS" side of the road before it goes after the problem on the "OTHER SIDE" of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his "CURRENT" problems before adding "NEW" problems.

OPRAH:
Well I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

GEORGE W BUSH:
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

COLIN POWELL:
Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road...

ANDERSON COOPER - CNN:
We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

JOHN KERRY:
Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

NANCY GRACE:
That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

PAT BUCHANAN:
To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

MARTHA STEWART:
No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

DR SEUSS:
Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY:
To die in the rain. Alone.

JERRY FALWELL:
Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other side." That's why they call it the "other side." Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side." That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and simple as that!

GRANDPA:
In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

BARBARA WALTERS:
Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road.

JOHN LENNON:
Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.

ARISTOTLE:
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

BILL GATES:
I have just released eChicken2006 , which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken. This new platform is much more stable and will never cra.....@&&^(.. .... reboot.

ALBERT EINSTEIN:
Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

BILL CLINTON:
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken?

AL GORE:
I invented the chicken!

COLONEL SANDERS:
Did I miss one?

]]> ~Zakuyoe http://Zakuyoe.deviantart.com/journal/14331820/ http://Zakuyoe.deviantart.com/journal/14331820/ Sat, 25 Aug 2007 09:40:44 PDT Rather, how do stop wanting the unattainable?

It's like I can feel the ground beneath me shaking. A tremor, maybe something more. Perhaps the early signs of an imminent earthquake. Perhaps one that might change my life.

I speak of earthquakes yet envision a hurricane. On the shore, looking to the horizons of the present, I can already see the greying skies, the thunderous clouds likely to strike terror, and the winds that will sweep me right off my feet. I see the signs but do not move.

And the true question of events becomes clear: Do I flee, or do I withstand the storm?

To run away is to be a coward, yet one of the greatest strengths is knowing the difference between what you want to do... and what you can do. Even the strongest of people know when something is unattainable; even the most hardy of people know when to stop seeking.

To withstand the storm is to face my problems without fear, yet idiocy accompanies it. To bear a storm is to accept disaster, to take a risk, and to gamble everything I have for the slightest hope of victory. Yet even so, is the small prospect of happiness enough to linger?

In the horizons of my future I still see dark clouds. To flee is to seek new skies, to see the sun that once provided me the warmth I basked myself in. Yet in this, to flee is to later regret, and to avoid the problem only sacrifices the chance of ever returning to a stable home.

If I face my problems side-by-side with my life, I will ultimately be the true decider of my ruined fate. And so if I choose to stay, and if that hurricane strikes hard, I would live it out and see for myself the repercussions of at least trying to attain what I cannot have.

]]> ~Zakuyoe http://Zakuyoe.deviantart.com/journal/14325721/ http://Zakuyoe.deviantart.com/journal/14325721/ Fri, 24 Aug 2007 21:12:29 PDT
I realized that I already have a list of goals for this year. Apparently I wrote it at the beginning of summer. . . .

It reads:
1) To obtain at least 6 A's per semester.
2) To not enter any romantic relationships.
3) To not ruin any friendships.
4) To beat Nathan at MA0 competitions at least 3 times.
5) To make MA0 Calculus's Team A.
6) To make at least 3 new friends.
7) To improve at least 1 friendship.
8) To finish writing at least 1 story.
9) To enjoy my senior year.


Doesn't that look exciting. . . except not. Well, I probably won't achieve the first, I've already broken the second, and I've definitely accomplished number seven. I'm somewhat close to achieving the sixth one, I've finished the eighth, and can never fulfill the last one.

Anyway. . . . School's really a joke. Well, not as in easy, but I'm already sick of it. Going is only fun nowadays because of the people I see there, which actually ends up being really sad, because that's the only place I see them.

That made me realize something. I talk to so many people at school, yet when it comes down to it, there really isn't anyone I'm close to. In fact, once I graduate (if I graduate), I'm not even sure how many people will care to ever talk to me again. I know the majority of people only talk to me for school answers and school help. And you think I'd be bothered about it, but I'm not, really.

It makes me wonder who I'll talk to beyond college. Will I ever talk to my high school 'friends' again? Would I even want to talk to half the people I knew? Who would pull through for me in my future, and not just when it benefited themselves. . . I'm not sure if I'd ever know.

How much do you think you know me? Do you think I'm in good terms with you? Do you think that the end of this year will be the last we'll have together?

I wonder if you know anything about me. I wonder if you think I've gotten better, or if I've become more stable. Maybe you don't realize I've just gotten better at hiding things. Or maybe I don't even trust you enough to show you what's inside.

This is all theoretical an hypothetical, of course, because I actually am very stable with where I am. But if I weren't, do you think you'd ever know?

I like someone I shouldn't. Did you know that?
I curse at my grandmother because she can't hear me. Did you know that?

I'm thinking that no one really knows who I am. I'm not even sure if anyone wants to know me. But it's seriously making me wonder if when I throw that cap into the air, nine months from now. . . . Will I even care that I've left another life behind?

]]> ~Zakuyoe http://Zakuyoe.deviantart.com/journal/14118216/ http://Zakuyoe.deviantart.com/journal/14118216/ Sat, 11 Aug 2007 11:05:13 PDT
The Moments that Don't Shine, Chapter 13 - August 12th.
The Moments that Don't Shine, Chapter 14 - August 14th.
Leave it Behind, Chapter 3 - August 15th.
Seconds to Midnight, Chapter 2 - August 19th.
(Between here will be scattered updates of The Moments that Don't Shine.)
Lost Heaven, Chapter 3 - September 1st.
Superman, Chapter 4 - September 3rd.

If you want me to update anything else, let me know. I could probably squeeze it in, here.

]]> ~Zakuyoe http://Zakuyoe.deviantart.com/journal/14096922/ http://Zakuyoe.deviantart.com/journal/14096922/ Thu, 09 Aug 2007 21:04:31 PDT
I'm a little upset right now. I had this really good story idea, and I've posted three chapters of it here on deviantArt. And see, I really like writing it, but it's getting like, no reviews. I don't wanna abandon it, but at the same time... it almost feels pointless writing it.

Anyway, I'm also going to draw a "cover page" for that story. Well, I'm going to draw it, if no one else offers to. So actually, I have a Style request for anyone willing to draw it.

On other news, I finished my second story a few days ago, The Curious Moves. The epilogue is posted on my fanfiction account, where I hope you will review it, as well as read it.

...yes, with more emphasis on review. I feel like movieverse!Hermione in the PHILOSOPHER'S stone.

So. Don't make Zak sad. I'm not sure you want that.

-Zak

]]> ~Zakuyoe